The capsule door swung open, and Ensign Urliza clambered out unsteadily, blinking in the sharp sunlight. She stepped towards the tall building before her, scanning her surroundings as best she could.

Behind her, Captain Zubryner and Lieutenant Heyli emerged from their spacecraft. Both looked a little off-balance as well, taking tentative, wavering steps forwards. The gravity on this planet was stronger than on their own world, just as the ambient temperature levels were higher.

Composing herself quickly, the captain moved forwards as confidently as she could while still taking small, careful steps, a necessary precaution since she couldn’t see too well. None of them could, their vision obstructed as ever by the thick, translucent membranes covering their faces. Other species had often mistaken the membranes for their actual faces, mostly because they were structured in a similar way - but what appeared to be eyes were in fact lenses shielding their real eyes, while the ‘nostrils’ and ‘mouth’ were merely airholes. The rubbery green coverings, evolved over generations of space travel, helped to shield them from harmful forms of light, but at the cost of hampering their eyesight.

As the three seasoned space explorers proceeded towards the nearby building, they could already see many of the native species - humans, they were called - in their vicinity. These ‘humans’ looked quite strange to Urliza, although she’d never admit it out loud - that would be unprofessional, particularly since they were here on a mission of diplomacy. But she couldn’t help staring at their exposed faces - and, even stranger, their arms. These creatures still had arms!

Urliza’s species had progressed past the point of needing arms centuries ago. They became redundant, and were eventually discarded through generations of evolution, after the development of their neural implants, which enabled them to telepathically control all technology on their planet. She wondered how humans coped, having to carry those things around all day, dangling at their sides. The poor things had no neural chips - they had to do everything themselves, to lift and carry and operate machines by... whatever those weird wiggly things on the end of their arms were! And how could they sleep at night, with those unwieldy limbs in the way?

Some of the natives were starting to notice them, and were stopping and staring at them in the near distance. That was a fairly common response when they visited a planet of non-spacefarers. Although they had contacted Earth’s ambassadors to arrange a meeting, Urliza had anticipated the general public would still react with shock and awe at the sight of them. Seeing aliens in the flesh for the first time would surely be a landmark moment in their primitive lives.

She wasn’t sure why some of them sounded like they were laughing. But then again, she could be mistaken. Perhaps those were the noises humans made when they were overcome with excitement.

Her commanding officer approached a human near the front doors, and delivered their standard introduction. “Greetings, human. I am Captain Zubryner of the Ghudgerl Space Corps. My comrades and I come in peace. We are here to initiate diplomatic relations with your species, and would be grateful if you could direct us to your embassy.”

Or at least, that was what the captain’s words meant. They sounded like, “Ee-inh, oo-ah. I ah Ap-in Oo-wee-er oh heh Oo-erl Haye Hore. I om-ways ah I hum ih hee. Ee are ere ooh ih-hih-ee-ay ih-oh-ah-ih whu-ay-hun ih or ee-hee, ah ooh ee wai-hull ih ooh hood eye-weh uh ooh or em-ha-hee.”

Judging by the human’s blinking, they didn’t understand anything Zubryner said. Urliza groaned softly. She’d been afraid of this. Long ago, for reasons scientists had failed to find an explanation for, the Ghudgerls had developed a mutation where a large, soft nodule grew inside their mouths, largely blocking them. They had figured out how to speak around those obstructions, developing a language they found easy to understand - but to other species, it just sounded like a string of incomprehensible noises. The neural chips were supposed to translate, but that worked better when whomever they were speaking to also had a neural chip. And of course, humans didn’t.

“Do you have a communicator?” Urliza tried to ask. Judging by her research, most humans carried such devices - ‘mobile phones’, they called them. Perhaps the Ghudgerls’ implants could interface with them. When the person before them still seemed confused, she tried again, enunciating as best she could - “A phone?”

Finally seeming to understand, they got out one of the embarrassingly cumbersome gadgets, holding it up. Concentrating on the metallic rectangle, Zubryner began to repeat her speech, hoping the translation would appear on the screen - but it remained blank. She shot Urliza a look that the ensign interpreted as exasperation (although expressions were difficult for them to convey or comprehend through their facial membranes). Clearly, their implants were having trouble interfacing with Earth technology. Perhaps it was simply too unsophisticated.

“Sorry,” the human shrugged. “Not a clue. But your guys are around here somewhere. Have a look around, see if you can find them...” Then, snickering as if they’d just told a joke, they sauntered away. (It rankled with Urliza that their implants were translating the human language well enough for the Ghudgerls, but not vice versa. Very helpful.)

The ensign gazed at her comrades, hoping her helplessness was masked well enough by her face covering. She wasn’t as experienced as the captain or the lieutenant, and hoped they would know just what to do in such a situation. At the same time, she didn’t want them to doubt her competence. She was depending on them for a good report, and any possibility of advancing through the ranks.

If Zubryner or Heyli were daunted by the unexpected difficulty in their mission, they hid it well. Turning to face inside the building, the captain boldly marched inside, followed closely by the lieutenant. After only a moment’s hesitation, Urliza scurried after them.

Her superiors split up, each approaching a passer-by and attempting to ask them for directions to the embassy. Predictably, neither of the natives they spoke to could comprehend their words, so they quickly moved on to someone else. Apparently, the strategy was to keep asking people at random until they found someone who understood them well enough to give a useful response.

Doubt flickered through Urliza’s mind for a moment - was this the best plan? But she quickly dismissed her concerns. Captain Zubryner and Lieutenant Heyli had carried out missions like this dozens of times. A low-ranking rookie like herself should follow their lead without question. So without further ado, she too began petitioning passing humans for information.

Though they had little success learning what they needed to know, they attracted a great deal of attention. There seemed to be some kind of gathering taking place in this large hall, with dozens of humans in attendance, wandering along pathways between rows of stalls. Some kind of market? Whatever the case, more and more patrons of this strange establishment came in their direction, clearly intrigued by the alien visitors.

Their reactions were very odd, though. Urliza was growing increasingly sure that the sounds they were making were mirthful - even mocking. Her conclusion was somewhat supported by some of the comments she overheard - hushed murmurs of disbelief and ridicule.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this...”

“Man, they look hot.”

“Braver than me, I couldn’t go out in public like that - even here.”

“This is giving me ideas, my girlfriend’s got a big alien fetish.”

“D’you think they actually think they are...?”

Not a lot of their comments made sense, even when translated - but Urliza understood enough to gather that these humans weren’t convinced of their extraterrestrial nature. Perhaps they believed this was some kind of hoax or stunt. She’d heard about this kind of reaction in her research. The really primitive races they encountered often worshipped them as gods, whereas advanced, spacefaring species considered them equals (or, on a few less desirable occasions, rivals or enemies). Apparently most humans fell somewhere between those two extremes, at a point on the scale labelled ‘scepticism and open derision’.

At least the ambassadors knew and believed they were what they claimed to be. But right now the Ghudgerls were surrounded by ordinary citizens, who were treating them with amusement and derision.

As the onlookers’ comments continued, Urliza was surprised to feel herself growing warm, her body beginning to pulse with pleasurable sensations inside her spacesuit. What could be causing that?! This was nowhere near the right time of year for her to be in heat. (At least, not going by the timescale of her own world. But being on another planet shouldn’t affect that.)

Perhaps there was some kind of aphrodisiac in Earth’s atmosphere. It would explain some of the more lewd remarks she’d overheard. It’d also explain the barbaric behaviour the natives demonstrated in some of the transmissions the Ghudgerls’ satellites had picked up - most of which depicted them mating with each other. These humans seemed to be so rampantly aroused for so much of the time, the notion of a chemical agent in the air aggravating their libidos made a lot of sense to Urliza.

She hoped it wouldn’t have too powerful an effect on her and her comrades. Then again, it might be useful for later, when they opened diplomatic relations...

She could hear the captain and the lieutenant grunting and grumbling as they struggled to move through the growing throng of spectators. She followed, but found her party halting a moment later as a dark figure emerged from the crowd - an elegant-looking female with long, ebony head hair, wearing a velvety burgundy shirt that was open at the front and a pair of white trousers. At her side was an androgynous human dressed in what Urliza recognised from her research as a classic servant’s uniform - a white shirt with a black tie, jacket, trousers, and shoes, all of which were immaculate.

Perhaps the dignified lady was of a higher class than these others - some kind of noblewoman or aristocrat. She might be able to give the Ghudgerls the information they needed.

“Well, isn’t this an honour?” the glamorous female purred. “Visitors from another world. What a surprise, and a delight! You all look utterly adorable in those outfits, I must say...”

Her words were respectful - at least to begin with - but her tone was teasing, her lips twitching as if suppressing a smile. (Then again, Urliza could be wrong about that - she wasn’t used to seeing smiles, after all.) If there was any doubt she was making fun of them, her comment about their outfits seemed to dispel it. Frowning, the ensign glanced down at her clothing. She couldn’t tell what was supposed to be so adorable about it. It was just a standard Ghudgerl spacesuit: a rubber covering wrapped around her torso, knotted and buckled securely at the front; and a small, slight, silken garment on her lower half, designed to give her legs maximum airflow and manoeuvrability. She couldn’t see what there was to make fun of.

“But you poor dears have been staggering around for a little while now,” the regal female remarked, beckoning to her servant. “Emma, why don’t you lead our brave spacegirls to the ambassadors’ car? I believe it is parked outside...”

The servant gave her a doting look. “Yes, Countess,” they simpered. Then, composing themself, they stepped forwards, smiling politely at the Ghudgerls. “Right this way, please.”

“Thank you,” Lieutenant Heyli entirely failed to articulate, as the smartly-dressed servant strode straight past her, heading back towards the entrance of the building. Pivoting, the extraterrestrial trio hurriedly followed, stumbling through the surrounding crowd. Urliza accidentally bumped into someone, babbling incomprehensible apologies as she scuttled after her compatriots.

Emerging into the bright daylight once more, the ensign saw that two Earthling vehicles - ‘cars’, she believed they were called - had been parked outside. A male human was leaning against one of them, holding up one of those mobile phone devices as if pointing it at the Ghudgerls, although the screen was facing in the opposite direction. Captain Zubryner approached him purposefully, the Countess’ valet at her side, her two subordinates following close behind.

The man straightened up, smiling at the aliens. “Good afternoon, Ghudgerls. I’m Andrew, I work for the ambassadors. They sent me to collect you.”

For some reason, hearing this male human address them by the name of their species in his deep, husky voice sent a shiver through Urliza, the pleasurable tingle terminating between her legs. She sucked her mouthblock in annoyance, feeling some excess drool trickle down her chin beneath her face membrane. This planet was really getting to her.

The captain grunted at their newfound chauffeur, nodding at the device in his hand. “Oh, the ambassadors wanted me to film some footage of you,” he explained. “I hope that’s OK. It might be used by the media when they report on your visit.” Zubryner nodded - that was permissible.

Emma the servant opened the car door for the Ghudgerls, and one by one they clambered clumsily into the vehicle, finding themselves in a space no larger than the inside of their own capsule. (Now that Urliza thought about it, the design of these ‘cars’ resembled that of a Ghudgerl spacecraft quite closely. Something of a coincidence.) The three aliens squashed together in the back seats, while Andrew got behind the wheel in the front. The other parked car was in front of theirs, and he allowed it to move off first before driving away as well.

Urliza squirmed next to Heyli, trying to get comfortable in the confined space. Being at such intimately close quarters wasn’t helping her inexplicable arousal. She wondered if her superiors were suffering the same effects as her, but knew it’d be the height of insubordination to ask. Although, the way the lieutenant was subtly rubbing her thighs together might have answered that question for her...

The journey only took a few minutes - as it turned out, the Ghudgerls hadn’t landed that far away from the embassy after all. Parking outside the modest building, which blended in seamlessly with the other domiciles on the street, Andrew opened the door for the aliens (Emma having stayed behind with their Countess at the other location). Climbing out once again, they were greeted by the sight of three more males, standing in a triangular formation pointed towards them, all wearing polite smiles.

“Greetings, Ghudgerls,” said the man at the front. Again, Urliza felt that peculiar buzz of arousal upon hearing him name their race. “I am Chief Ambassador Richard, the man with whom you previously communicated. It was I who organised this scene - that is to say, this summit,” he corrected himself. There was an air of smugness about him as he spoke, which wasn’t a quality Urliza usually found endearing - yet it was strangely attractive coming from this human.

He gestured to the men either side of him. “This is Ambassador Milo, and Ambassador Philip. We welcome you to our world, and invite you into our embassy in good faith.”

Clearing her throat, Captain Zubryner gave a garbled greeting of her own. Indulging her even though they clearly didn’t understand a word, the trio of men then parted, revealing a fourth figure standing behind them in the open doorway - a more obviously feminine humanoid wearing a shiny blue bodysuit.

“This is S3-L3N4, our android servant,” the Chief Ambassador continued. “Please, allow it to lead you to our conference chamber.”

“This way, please,” the automaton said tonelessly, turning smoothly and marching into the house. Zubryner followed quickly, and Heyli and Urliza hurried after her.

As they passed the ambassadors, Urliza was sure she saw them staring at the Ghudgerls, looking them up and down with interest. That wasn’t surprising, given the physical differences between them. She was sure they were fascinated by their lack of arms, their covered faces, and their unintelligible dialect. Mind you, their expressions seemed almost lecherous - as if they found the alien dignitaries deeply sexually attractive.

Gods, these humans were so fucking horny.

Although, if she was honest, the young ensign found herself enjoying the attention. Despite her poor eyesight, she could’ve sworn she saw the Chief Ambassador ogling her, and felt a little throb of pleasure in response...

Trying to keep her mind on the matter in hand, Urliza followed her comrades into the conference chamber, which was less a professional official setting than a warm, cosy living space, with several comfortable-looking chairs. The chamber was adorned with a piece of artwork - a nude statue of a human woman, which stood at the centre of the room. As decorations went, it was pretty good. The ensign had to admit, she found the naked body of a female Earthling quite beautiful. Even its arms - which usually looked so peculiar and ungainly to Urliza, protruding from the human torso as they did - were aesthetically pleasing, smooth and graceful like a bird’s wings.

Now I’m even getting turned on by the decorations, she grumbled inwardly, cursing the arousing atmosphere of this planet once again.

She turned to see Ambassador Philip smirking in her direction. “See anything you like?” he chuckled.

“Uh, yeah, this artwork is very... tasteful,” she gurgled.

“We should apologise now that we don’t yet understand your language,” the Chief Ambassador announced to the Ghudgerls. “We’re attempting to learn, but we gather that you, at least, understand us. In the meantime, S3 can translate for us. S3, if you could...?”

“Affirmative. Ensign:Urliza said that she found Jelly Doll visually pleasing in an erotic sense.”

Urliza’s covered cheeks reddened. Yes, that was what she’d said, but she’d been banking on the humans not understanding and her comrades not overhearing. Now the servitor had embarrassed her - or, more accurately, she’d embarrassed herself.

But the ambassadors were very nice about it, despite sniggering at first. “Don’t worry, we do too,” Ambassador Milo assured her. “We’re quite open about that sort of thing here.”

Urliza relaxed a little - she hadn’t caused offence with her indecent admission. She should still try to get a hold of herself, though, before she humiliated herself in front of her superiors any further.

The group broke into a lively discussion, with the ambassadors telling the Ghudgerls more about their species. Despite their comprehensive research, there was some information they’d missed. The most intriguing detail of all was that certain humans had the ability to psychologically influence others - a form of mind control innate to some specimens, with no technological or mystical component. A few rare individuals had this power to such an extent that they could actually reshape the mind and identity of their subjects, making them unrecognisable even to themselves. For instance, the ornament displayed in the centre of the chamber, ‘Jelly Doll’, used to be a real woman, until the Chief Ambassador convinced it that it was a mere toy.

“If you think that’s impressive, you should hear what we did with three of our partners today,” Ambassador Philip smirked. “We dressed them in straightjackets and panties, ballgags and alien masks - and then we convinced them they were aliens, visiting Earth on a diplomatic mission. They were absolutely convinced of it. We sent them stumbling around our local kink convention, humiliating themselves in front of a bunch of people. Isn’t that hilarious...?”

Urliza snorted, snuffling with laughter through her malformed mouth. It probably wasn’t very professional, but she heard her comrades making muffled guffaws as well. It was hilarious, to be fair. Although the specimens before her were quite impressive, intelligent individuals, some of these humans really sounded like dumb, gullible animals.

“Of course, we had their consent to do so,” the Chief Ambassador assured them. “We wouldn’t have embarrassed them like that if they didn’t want to be. But they were only too keen...”

In turn, the Ghudgerls gladly educated the humans with facts about their own species. S3 helpfully deciphered their words, although its translations were often quite inexact - sometimes even completely off-topic. Not that the aliens noticed. Whatever the fembot said retroactively altered their minds and memories, so they believed its translations were entirely accurate.

The males’ questions grew increasingly intrusive and inappropriate, but the Ghudgerls’ indignance was steamrollered by S3, who answered every question unhesitatingly. The poor spacegirls were left rather confused, each of them not quite sure why they or their comrades had replied to such impertinent inquiries. Ambassador Philip’s numerous questions regarding the precise details of how their species mated were most impudent, but Lieutenant Heyli found herself helplessly explaining via the servitor.

“What about with other species?” Ambassador Philip asked with a broad smirk. “Captain? You ever shag someone from another planet?”

S3 interpreted Zubryner’s scandalised squeak as, “Affirmative. Captain:Zubryner has had sexual liaisons with representatives from almost every planet she has visited, to contribute to fostering positive inter-species relations.” The captain’s outrage evaporated, replaced with a proud nod.

Urliza smiled dazedly beneath her face membrane. She admired the captain so much. She hoped one day to have fucked her way to as many peace treaties as Zubryner had.

At last, the human dignitaries sat down, the Chief Ambassador saying, “Time is marching on. I think we should properly open diplomatic relations, don’t you think?”

The aliens exchanged a glance, and then nodded. Each male gestured to a different Ghudgerl, who went to join them in their comfy seats. Urliza somehow found herself sitting next to the Chief Ambassador. She’d expected him to choose Captain Zubryner, as they were both leaders of their respective parties, but he instead beckoned the ensign over. Not wishing to appear rude by showing the slightest hesitation, she hurried over to take the seat beside him.

As one, the Ghudgerls spread their legs, allowing the ambassadors next to them to slide their silky lower coverings aside and expose their genitalia, so they could commence the ritual with which humans began all their interactions with alien species - or so they’d said in their past communications. It seemed rather indecent to the young ensign, but they had to observe local customs. It wouldn’t be a good idea to start the proceedings by offending their hosts.

Besides, she realised, this was an opportunity. A chance to prove herself, by participating in this ritual with full enthusiasm and impressing a human representative - the one with the most authority, in fact. She’d lucked out - she’d be performing the ritual with the Chief Ambassador himself, and now she could really demonstrate her commitment to diplomacy. This could earn her comrades’ respect, and might even earn her a promotion.

So Ensign Urliza didn’t hold back at all, as she permitted Chief Ambassador Richard’s deft fingers to stimulate her breeding organs until she reached the brink of orgasm. She made sure to writhe and moan as much as possible, doing her utmost to delight the diplomat with her responses to his strokes. (Given her already-heightened arousal, her reactions weren’t all that exaggerated.) She heard Captain Zubryner and Lieutenant Heyli crying out in the near distance, as their respective representatives edged them too.

With utmost deference to their duty as astral ambassadors - and no little enthusiasm for the task - the Ghudgerls opened diplomatic relations with a new species, by opening their legs and inviting them in.