The Love and Trances of Madison and Belladonna

Bella Asks For What She Wants

by Cammie Dawn

Tags: #consensual_kink #dom:female #f/f #romantic #sub:female #asexual_characters #multiple_partners #plurality #polyamory #realistic #transgender_characters
See spoiler tags : #sub:male

Bell and Madison discuss gender and sexuality in both fiction and reality. Bella is compelled to share her desires.

Madison got in her car with an eager air of enthusiasm about her. The work week had ended and it was now time to go home. Time for her weekly call with Belladonna.

Having gotten together at the most recent hypnosis convention and having endured a cool down period where play was off of the table, the pair had started to find their easy rapport. Bell seemed to like routines, though between Madison’s own enthusiasm and the unruly chaos of Bell’s facets, they had started finding every excuse they could to instigate a call.

But their scheduled date nights were reliable and they were exciting for the fact that they could be counted upon.

Madison was quick to grab a fast food dinner on the way back to maximize the available time to her and ate alongside Saph, her spouse and nesting partner.

Offering hugs and enjoying a quick miniature ritual of their own, they ate, caught one another up on their days, shared the comfort of togetherness for an hour before Saph went to have a date with one of his partners and Madison retreated to call Bell.

It worked out well that way.

Bell on the other hand worked from home. Her home was large and alive with activity. There was rarely a moment when there wasn’t some feet stomping about room to room, doors opening and closing, music or dialog from a television filling the air. A symphony of fingers drumming keyboards could be heard in just about every location of the home at any hour of the day.

Bell spent much of her time curled up in her little nest. A tiny space that shrank to her in the most cozy way. Somewhere in the past two decades she had learned to pack light. To fit her entire life into a suitcase. It had happened more times than she cared to recall. Too large a space would make the absence of accumulation suffocating. As it stood there was just enough room for there to be none at all.

Just how she liked it.

Beside her bed, tied by a simple string to one of her shelves, hung a red bead. A heart that had been given to her. To all of her at the end of the previous convention. It felt good to see it every day and remember.

It was real. It happened. She cares about us. She wants to explore a relationship.

Friday was now the reason to get through the week. She deeply enjoyed the moments she got to share with her Family and was finally feeling at home in her adopted habitat, but these calls with Madison were a monolith erected in time, a weekly port between the chaos of lives and unstable plans that rocked the ship back and forth.

Bell needed stability. She was unable to source any internally. External would have to suffice.

The pair had soon logged in and begun their call, trading little bits of small talk about their weeks. Their animated back and forth melted away any exhaustion from the work week and allowed the pair to settle into comfort that would inevitably lead to play.

“Oh, by the way.” Bell said, thirty minutes into their chat, “I’ve been reading those books you recommended. You know, the ones you got your name from?”

Madison’s cheeks burned as her expression blossomed from intent listening to surprise before settling in on sheer delight.

“I mean you don’t have to…” she said carefully, “I’m glad you are, but don’t feel put out.”

“It’s no imposition. Sincerely, I’m enjoying it. I’m already on book 2. I’ve been listening to the audiobooks while at work.”

Madison shuffled in towards the camera, her hesitation melting away and curiosity taking over, “So… what do you think?”

Bell took a moment to be thoughtful. She had been thinking carefully about how to present things since the moment she began reading. These books were important to Madison. Important enough that she had been using characters from it as screen names since she was in college.

The character that Madison had named herself for did not appear until 8 or 9 books in the series and there were about 30 of them to mull over. The library app had listed their runtimes as anywhere between 5 hours to 22 hours, pending on when the book was published.

“The author seems pretty progressive. Gender non-conforming characters, mentions of sex workers and fairly level politics and economics in a high fantasy setting. It’s like it’s for kids but with the respect that they’d continue enjoying the series as adults…” she began, thoughtfully. All the while Madison leaned in and listened, “Plus the sexism on display kind of serves the author’s points. I hadn’t expected to see menstrual cycles treated by the narrative with such care and sincerity. I wonder if this was some kid’s first exposure to that concept and if so, it could have made them feel better about things when they eventually did start themselves.”

Madison nodded, enthusiastically, “Oh I’m sure!” she agreed, “She’s been a vocal advocate of trans rights longer than certain other people have been campaigning against them. I owe a lot of the way I see the world to her writings. You’ll see a lot more later on.”

“I have to say, I’m kind of excited. Most long running authors don’t hit their stride for a while. I wish I had these books when I was younger. Maybe I would have come out of the closet a lot sooner.” there was a bittersweet edge to her tone in spite of the jovial comment.

Madison bristled up in pride, an action Bell was becoming fondly familiar with, and chirped happily, “Right now the gender politics is more of an implication than overt theme, the protagonist isn’t really trans, but she is ambivalent towards gender.”

“I had noticed, the narrative likes to switch her pronouns. There was a scene where she used female pronouns for herself but male pronouns for her reflection. I kind of liked that.”

Madison nodded, the momentum of the conversation building with each exchange, her eyes danced with excitement, “Like you’ll get to meet another character later on who rejects gender roles and presentation but is firmly set in their gender identity.” she emphasized each word purposefully, “It was reading these books that helped me settle on my own gender and sexuality.”

Bell tilted her head. “I hate to be that girl, but I always assumed you were cis. Apologies if that was rude of me.”

Madison bubbled up in a shrug and shook her head, “Don’t.” she said candidly.

There was a pause as Madison really thought about what she wanted to say. The right words weren’t easy to find and she understood the importance of the topic, "I read a statement, from someone who's doing research on gender and sexuality, who said in a not-yet-published study in asexuality, about a third of his participants felt detached from gender. Like, it didn't connect with them in any way. That description resonates with me in a way I've never quite known how to articulate before"

Bell frowned, “I didn’t know that about asexuality. I wonder what that says about me, given how important gender has become to my life…” she tapped her thigh thoughtfully, “Maybe it’s because I’m sex-repulsed.”

“Well the study said it only counts for one-third of the participants. You’re still in the majority.”

“I guess you’re right about that. Though now I’m curious. Where do you fall in the asexuality spectrum?”

Madison took another moment to weigh her answer before continuing, “I prefer the term sex-ambivalent” she said, confidently, “Romantic attraction is a lot more straightforward than sexual attraction, in my experience. I don’t need sex to be satisfied with a romantic relationship, but if a partner wants it then I’m happy with it. I look for - need - intimacy, but that can be found anywhere. In kink play, in talking about books or, yes, in sex. As long as I have other forms of that intimacy, I don't miss sex when it isn't present."

“I’m… not flexible like that.” she said, slowly, “Not now, anyway. For me…” the word hung on her tongue as if she were tasting the possibilities of how to proceed with this explanation. “-it’s an active terror. Like if someone touches me below the waistline I…” she trailed off, shame flooding her and punishing her for the dark tone of the conversation.

Madison listened patiently. She knew that during these moments silence was a far more productive response than trying to fill that void.

“I don’t want to talk about the specifics. I just.” she shook her head, fiercely, pushing away a thought, “I don’t do that. I keep kink and eroticism in two different boxes and… that took a lot of time to do.”

“I’m glad you get to have kink in your life.” Madison said, plainly, “The community would be worse off for you not being there.”

Bell shrugged, “I would have had a presence. It was like our gender, you know? Something that was going to make itself known, no matter how much part of me fought against it.”

Her eyes flicked up, this was what Madison had come to know as an ‘IM Window’, a sign that her girlfriend was being interrupted by internal dialogue.

“Oh? Who was that?” she playfully asked, laughing.

“...Donna…” Bell admitted, “She noted that hypnokink was her outlet and always had been. It’s hard for me to accept any of us doing… intimate… things, so it’s been a bit of a struggle to let her do her thing. If I’m honest I don’t really trust her not to go too far.”

“What are you afraid of?” Madison asked.

Bell opened her mouth to answer and then closed her eyes. Why was it so hard for her to trust Donna to know when to stop?

She furrowed her brow to think about it and was instantly met with the sensation of her mind resisting any attempts to probe further, like the idea that had been so firm and on her tongue a moment ago had evaporated to mist.

Emotions travel faster than thoughts, though. Entire understandings could be wrapped up in a complex web of ideas, memories and emotions and within these packets were concepts too big to unpack, emotions too overwhelming to untangle, memories that should not resurface.

Bell shook off another thought but this time didn’t bounce back as she had before. Even over video chat Madison could see it plain as day. Shoulders pulled back and elbows drew in, head dipped down, hands crossing over one another.

A facet shift.

“Hey, precious… Are you doing okay?” she asked, carefully.

Bella nodded firmly, shame flushing her system, forcing eyes away from the camera, “Sorry. I… everything’s okay. I promise.”

She was being noble. She felt disoriented and activated. Her heart was pulsing in her chest. She was rapidly trying to reconstruct the events that lead to this without seeming to miss a beat to even her observant partner.

The context flooded in rapidly. She nodded firmly again with understanding, “Okay. I’m good.” she said, raising a hand to the camera, “Sorry about that.”

“Apology unnecessary, Bella.” Madison said, stressing the name for comfort, “I know to be careful around that topic now.”

Bella’s eyes dipped down with a drawn out sigh, “She always thinks she can just power through things. It’s like this in therapy too. It… makes things hard. Can… we talk about something else please?”

Madison knew better than to press but it was important that she communicated that she was safe and understanding. As much as these situations could allow, “Okay. But it’s always okay to talk to me. I may not always understand the first try but I care and I want to know how your mind works. If there are things we need to address for comfort then we will.”

Bella nodded again, animated in a more familiar way, “Same to you too! I don’t just want you to be taking care of me and paying close attention and everything.”

Madison chuckled. She wanted to muss her hair or cuddle her. The distance was suffocating in moments like this, “I promise, precious. I have stuff to trip up on too. But it’s not a competition. I know you care. You don’t need to prove it. Especially not like that. Anyway! You wanted us to change the topic, didn’t you?”

Bella gulped and sat upright. She wasn’t even sure why she had, but Madison’s tone implied a little devious edge to her change of topic, “Yes’um!” she chirped, only barely holding herself from calling Madison ‘Miss’.

“I have The List open. I don’t see anything here in the column made for you.”

Bella quickly tabbed over and pulled up her view of the Excel spreadsheet that contained all of their play ideas, installed triggers and desires. Madison was right, the column with Donna’s ideas for Madison had a healthy number of early ideas but the Bella column was empty.

“Oh…” she hushed, flatly, “I need to fill that, don’t I?” there was a guilty pang in her voice. She pursed her lips and made a production of scouring her thoughts. “What do I want…”

Madison’s eyes danced with amusement, brow raised, “Oh, precious– are you having trouble thinking already?” she teased. “I thought that you’d need to get all trancey before it became hard for you to think.”

Bella’s body exploded into a flurry of frantic action, her hands banging on her knees, her waist wiggling and her head shaking, as if the flustered impact of Madison’s words was more than could be stored within her, “AAA!” she wailed out, “It’s not fair when you do that thing with your voice!”

“Oh…” Madison husked, her voice sliding into a velvety rich tone, dark and seductive, “When I do what with my voice?”

Bella’s flailing continued, her arms swinging back and forth, “THAT! That thing! Where you sound all… commanding.”

“Commanding?” Madison hummed, her voice still low and alluring, “Do you find yourself wanting to do what I say when I talk like this, precious?”

Bella’s expression jutted from expressive to shy in a heartbeat as she meekly nodded.

“Use your words.” Madison commanded.

Bella’s lips parted with a whimpering gasp. “I. I. I!” she cried out, searching for a word, any word.

“Go on? I’m listening.”

“Please…” Bella all but whispered, her microphone barely able to capture the sound, “Please use your magical voice to hypnotize me. Please take me deep. Please, Miss. Please hypnotize me.”

Madison let out a playful chuckle with wicked tones, “See, precious, if you ask for something you might just get it. Now focus.”

Bella whimpered again leaning towards the monitor, towards Madison’s pale eyes, her full smiling lips, her captivating voice, no sound could escape her. She was already in a light trance from the tension of the moment alone.

“That’s it…” Madison husked, “Good girl.” the urge to reach through the screen claimed her again, “Listening to my words, finding how much you just fall into them. Finding out how much my voice wraps around your mind– until– you– drop.”

Bella’s eyes widened as she listened and she did as commanded the moment the word was spoken. Her body slumped into a heap.

Madison chuckled in delight, “Very good!” she managed, trying hard not to let her joy break the mood of the scene. “And you know that any time I speak in this tone, with this hypnotic, magical voice you’ll find yourself completely captivated, won’t you?”

“Mhmm…” Bella softly slurred, her head bobbing a little to signal her agreement.

“Good girl.” she affirmed once more, “Just. Like. That.”

Bella swooned deeper into Madison’s spell, letting go completely.

“And, precious, I know you know how to tell me exactly what you want, even if you don’t think about it first. Tonight and only tonight– When I tell you to share your desires you’ll just let all those hidden wants and yearnings bubble up to the surface, no filter, just coming out. Because you know what happens if you ask for what you want, don’t you?”

“...might just get it…” Bella sighed.

“That’s right—” Madison smiled to herself, satisfied with the beautiful display, “That’s exactly right.”

She spent a few moments going over safeties. Ensuring that any desires spoken would be ones she would be comfortable sharing. That her other facets would be comfortable with her sharing. That she was not to hurt herself or act in a way that would be harmful, such as answering in a space she was not convinced of her privacy.

Most importantly she emphasized that she would only follow this compulsion if it was something she felt safe and comfortable doing, that she could always have final say, that her facets could intervene if they needed. Ensuring that this trigger was always safe and comfortable was a priority. She never wanted Bella to regret having said something she didn’t want to put into words.

“Should you ever feel it would not be safe or enjoyable for you to tell me your desires, you can easily and automatically respond ‘I can not speak them at this time’”

Bella’s lips bubbled into a drowsy grin as she let that sink in. Miss Madison always made her feel safe and cherished.

“And coming back, feeling me wrap my arms around you, you can rise up in 3–2—1…”

Bella pulled herself upright and held her hands to their opposing shoulders for a moment, savoring the phantom traces of the imaginary hug.

Madison smiled warmly at the display. She wished she could feel the other side of this hypnotic hug. But knowing it could be offered was comfort enough while the distance between them remained in place.

“Oh, Bella?” she sang, “Share your desires.

Bella let out a gentle sound as her arms dropped and her spine arched upright, her eyes wide.

The words were in her stomach, which she considered a weird place for words to be, but they bubbled up without her being able to do anything to hold them back. Her hands began to fly up to cover the mouth but an impulse stopped them before they could get there.

“I want…” her began, her voice serene and sing-songy much like it was when she was deeply hypnotized, but now more animated and alive, “To just cuddle you super tightly and get more hugs like the one you just gave me, because that was nice and I liked it tons it was like if you were standing in front of a space heater and the space heater blew out like exactly the shape of a Madison and pressed tight against me, that’s kind of what it feels like and I wanna feel that again.”

Madison let out a fond sigh. She was so unspeakably smitten with this silly babble and the soft girl who chirped out words without any filter. “Sure thing, precious, was there anything else?”

“Precious…” Bella mused to herself, tilting her head in an animated show of curiosity, her lightly fractionated state still lingering a little in how she spoke and carried herself, “You called me precious as soon as I came out.” she said, blinking rapidly, “Like right away! Without me even saying anything! How did you do that?!”

Madison shrugged theatrically, her own smile lingering fondly, “I don’t think I could see you any other way!” she exclaimed, “Your shoulders draw in and you’re so tight while being fluid at the same time and your eyes are gentle.”

She took a moment to truly consider how best to communicate this, “With Bell you are kind of direct, still and subtle. If Bell smiles then you beam. If Bell frowns then you pout.” Bella’s lips scrunched in thought, tilting her head, “Exactly. Like that. You’re so expressive. It’s so easy to see what is going on in that pretty little head.” Bella squeaked and hid her blushing face, “Oh, Bella… I don’t know how you expect me not to recognize you. I wish everyone saw you the way I see you.”

Bella’s pursed lips drew in as she coyly pressed her fingers together, “I don’t know if they do… no one else knows. Like knows knows. If I look at my whole life I can see people recognizing me, but not for who or what I am… y’know?”

Madison shook her head, “I don’t, no.”

“Oh! Well… nicknames!” Bella sang, her animated expressions and tones amplified by the lingering impact of trance, “Like even before I knew I was me or before we did our transition, I got these nicknames that kind of saw just how sweet and soft and playful I was. Like when I was young I used to get called ‘Kitten’ and even now at home I get called ‘Sunshine’.” as she spoke her smile beamed bright. Her pride at these monikers clearly flooding her.

“Fitting names.” Madison said, amused. “So you feel like those names were given to you, even if they were applied to Belladonna as a whole?”

Bella shrugged, “It just feels right. Like, yeah. They thought of all of me as those names, but like, it was me who earned them. It feels like solid proof I’ve always been visible, y’know?” she paused, pressing her teeth to her lips in thought before blurting out with momentum, “Plus there’s the whole thing when people walk away and I grab their wrists.”

Madison raised her eyebrows, she was unfamiliar with this habit, “I don’t think you explained that one, precious.”

“Oh!” Bella chirped, swaying back and forth with excitement, “It was like one of those silly little things that was too specific to be fake, y’know? Like– when I am in other headspaces and people I like got up and walked away our hand would shoot out and grab them without Bell or Donna even noticing that it had happened. Like a sharp bit of emotion that was shaped like me just sprang up and demanded that the other person not go.”

“Did you do that to me at the convention at any point?”

Bella blinked thoughtfully, “I dunno. Maybe? But I do do it and that I do is the point. That I do. Do the thing.” she paused and let her words linger before breaking out into a fit of giggles “do!” she added, terribly amused by her own antics, “Like it just happens and then when I have their wrist everything just feels peaceful and calm– then Bell or Donna can have our hand back. It’s ALWAYS been this way! Long as we can remember” she swayed a little, giddily, “I think our therapist told us it was called ‘Passive Influence’.”

Madison kept a mental note to look up that term later on. She was enjoying Bella’s energy, but was worried she may have been spilling out more truth than her spell had intended.

“I think I want that too.” Bella added, “The wrist thing. I wanna just cling to your wrist. It feels nice when I cling.”

Madison nodded to herself, understanding that she definitely needed to fine tune the suggestion to be a little less broadly applied.

“And I want a nickname too. Like you already call me precious and that’s precious, but I don’t know if I want to be called precious, because precious is more a quality… then again, I guess sunshine is a quality too, but it’s also a thing, and I always thought I was the thing, y’know?”

Madison let out another fond chuckle, it was sweet to see her like this and she knew that her existing safeties ensured that she was not speaking anything she would internally regret as either herself or the other facets, but it was time to bring things back in and grant some of these adorably requested wishes.

“Bella.” she said firmly, her voice sliding low again. Bella instantly stopped her motion and paid close attention, “That’s right. You understand exactly what it means when I speak with this magic voice, don’t you?”

Bella softly nodded, eyes wide, stuck on her partner.

“Good girl… you listen so well. You let my words wrap around your mind so powerfully. So swiftly. You just let it happen, don’t you?”

Again Bella nodded.

“And you can just feel all that trancey bliss fill your heart and mind as you just drift deeper and deeper into trance for me, not worrying about all the things that had been on your mind before, just let that all go— as— you— drop.”

Bella obeyed, flopping forward an array of red hair.

“You reacted so well to my hypnotic hug didn’t you?” she waited to see the mess of red hair bob up and down in agreement, “And I know your beautiful and imaginative mind can notice me doing things I ask it to do, can’t it?”

Once again the hair jiggled in agreement.

“So if I tell you to notice me stroke your cheek.” she paused and watched Bella shuffle lazily at the imagined touch, leaning in to it, “You’ll feel my warm hand against your cheek just the same way it did in the hotel, won’t you?”

“...yes Miss…” Bella whispered.

“And you can notice me stroke your hair.” Bella cooed merrily at the sensation which she indeed felt as if Madison were in the room with her, “Oh you’re so good at that, aren’t you? And I know you can be just as good in trance or out of trance, can’t you?”

“...yes Miss…”

“That’s a good girl. Notice me press a kiss your forehead.” she waited for the appropriate reaction, “And you said you like to hold wrists, don’t you? Well we have already proven that distance is no match for our bond, and so you can reach out, in text, in speech or just by reaching out and I’ll let you know ‘I’m here’. And you’ll know I’m here. You’ll feel your hand wrapped around my wrist and get to feel that same connection, that same safety and security. Any time and for any reason. Isn’t that right, Bella?”

“...yes Miss…” she sighed, a broad grin expanding upon her lips.

“And you’ll feel safe doing that, knowing I understand why you do it and that you have permission.”

Again Bella nodded.

“Good girl. Very good girl. Notice me stroke your hair again, as we address this ‘share your desires’ suggestion. You responded so very well to it, but if we ever do that again, after I have a thorough discussion with all your facets about it, you should remember that the light trance of honesty and openness will only last for a few moments. Long enough for your pressing desires to be heard, and for you to return to full alertness. Do you understand?”

“I understand…” the hypnotized girl whispered.

“Very good, cutie. Then 3—2—-1 and awake.”

Bella blinked back to reality “Notice me hug you!” she cried out.

Madison burst in to a loving laugh, her cheeks burning red, “Oh precious, we haven’t set that up to work both ways yet. But you can notice me wrap my arms tight around you.”

Bella squeed in delight, hugging her arms to herself, “Aaaa! I love this one so so very much!”

“I’m glad.” Madison stated proudly.

“I’ll make sure Donna gives you the reverse! I wanna hug you back!”

“I want that too, S-” Madison stopped herself, smiling at Bella, “Notice me stroke your cheek again.”

Bella sighed and held a hand to her cheek, infectiously joyful.

“I am so smitten…” she sighed, barely able to contain her fondness for the cute display, “Notice me pull you close and hold you.”

Bella swooned and closed her eyes, imagining and remembering.

“Now, about that nickname you wanted.” Madison said slowly, quite satisfied with herself, “I’ve wanted to call you it a time or two before and this just proves my instincts were right. Soon you’ll start one of the books and you’ll meet a character who reminds me of you in a few ways. I wanted to call you by her term of endearment a number of times… just goes to show I should trust my instincts.”

“You should!” Bella chirped, pressing her hands together, “What is it? What is the nickname?”


Bella paused, tasting the name in her mind for a moment. Processing it. Applying it to herself.

It was perfect.

Emotion rocketed through her and her hand thrust out to make a fist towards the webcam, as if trying to hold Madison’s wrist through the screen.

“I’m here, sweetling.”

And Bella sighed out, content, safe, secure in her Miss’s arms. Happy to be who she was and where she needed to be.

Thank you for reading! As always comments and feedback appreciated. Follow me on Twitter @Camden_Dawn or Tumblr at MissCammieDawn for future updates and info.

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