The Love and Trances of Madison and Belladonna

Flashback: Aqua's First Hypnosis Session

by Cammie Dawn

Tags: #consensual_kink #dom:female #f/f #romantic #sub:female #asexual_characters #multiple_partners #plurality #polyamory #realistic #transgender_characters

See spoiler tags :

#sub:male

This will be the first of a few planned flashback chapters that will chronicle parts of Madison and Belladonna's past with a slant on the formation and manifestation of Belladonna's soon to be diagnosed dissociative disorder.

For those looking to Madison and Belladonna for harmless and romantic fluff, you have my blessing to skip the flashback chapters as they will largely be there to provide context for the characters and give perspective for the bliss and comfort they now share. I intend to keep the main story positive and romantic in tone.

"It's 2003 and Ben's Master likes to have him take on the persona of Aqua, the hypnotic librarian. Aqua may be a powerful hypnotist but she's never actually hypnotized anyone before. Until now, anyway."

CW: This chapter realistically depicts an abusive hypnotic relationship with behavior normalized at the time.

BZZZ!!!!

Ben’s eyes shot open and he bolted out of his sheets, his hand instinctively reaching over to his Nokia. [Calm down. You have electricity. You have a bed. You’re safe.] Panic seized his system. He was running on pure instinct, unaware of what was happening. [It’s a weekday. You remembered to set the alarm. Clothes are ready to go. Get moving.]

6:15am

Blurry vision settled and the raging storm inside evaporated. Whatever had played on his mind through sleep was fading away to the realization. [Don’t dwell.] It was 6:15am. It was Friday. The events of the night before were a hazy blur. [You probably stayed up too late on IM] They were unimportant. He didn’t dwell.

His blood felt thin. He was tired.

6:40am

The subway carriage jostled back and forth. The train was full of commuters. Ben managed to find a seat and was flipping through pages of the latest Pratchett novel. The final gift from his mother before they had stopped communicating. Before he had returned home to find all his possessions packed in a cardboard box left outside the apartment. Before he was forced to make it on his own. Every time he opened it he lingered on the front page and read her little message that declared how much she loved her son, [Lies. Received 3 weeks before she proved once and for all you meant nothing to her.]. He couldn’t bear to part with it, though. This one had Susan in it. He liked Susan. He felt a connection to Susan.

7:15am

Headphones on, Ben logged into his desktop and pulled the data entry app open. He had been lucky to find a temp position that offered such mindless and unyielding work. All he needed to do was settle in, zone out and let himself race against his target. He could even get overtime. [Just remember. This is a temp position. They could let you go at any moment. Have a parachute ready for the fall.]

11:00am

It was time for a break.

He went to the breakroom to make a cup of instant coffee. Luckily the supply was free to workers. [Cheaper than being at home.] It helped. There were so many records to input. [Don’t give them reasons to fire you.]

He was tired.

4:30pm

He’d listened to the same album 6 times in a row. Apparently he was at 120% of his target. [It was 130% yesterday. You’re slacking.] He could call it a day and go home now. It was Friday. He could. But if he squeezed out 2 more hours that was enough money for groceries. [Got to keep saving up. Need at least a month of rent in case of another emergency.]

He started the album again.

7:15pm

He slid the key in the lock [glad to have a key now] and opened the door to his flat. The scent of stale milk hit him like a tidal wave. Memories from his first nights always accompanied that scent. [How many months was it abandoned before you broke in?]. He got used to the scent after a few minutes of being in the house. But opening the door it always hit hard.

When he had first arrived there wasn’t even carpet. Wallpaper had been peeled from every room except for one, which he had set up as his bedroom. The former occupants had used it as a nursery for an infant. It gave the room a warm radiance which the remainder of the flat lacked.

He navigated to a mattress settled in the corner and plunked himself down, reaching over to turn his computer on. With a fierce whir of fans and scratching of hard disk, the computer sprang to life and the bulky monitor glowed.

It was finally the weekend. Ben waited patiently for his desktop to finish loading and moved the cursor to Yahoo! Messenger.

There was no reason to go to sleep that night and no reason to wake up in the morning. He could finally relax, free from time’s short leash. [Finally.]

And as luck would have it. Master was online.

DragonTamerSensei: How goes it?

Ben had met DragonTamer, or Alex as Ben had come to know him as, on a hypnosis roleplay board earlier that year. The conceit was that everyone who posted were students or faculty at a hypnosis themed college and every person was able to run up to three characters. Alex played Mr. Brown, the English professor who laced his lectures with NLP and controlled all of his students.

Ben played three separate characters. Aqua, the librarian, a clever and commanding domme who enjoyed utilizing ‘shh’ based lulling inductions; Ember Natos, a senior with an anime styled tsundere temper who ended up the hypnotee in scenes where she got angry and in another character’s face only to be easily guided under their sway; and Belladonna Cooper, a freshman who had a troubled home life and was by all rights and measures just trying to get a degree and hated all of the shenanigans that went on around her.

Ben liked Belladonna the most. He always likened her to the type of person he would want to be if he was allowed to be a human disaster without consequences. Someone who smoked and got drunk and was able to display her anger. No one enjoyed playing with Bell in the game, she was neither a sexy nor an exotic character. But Ben put effort into her.

Aqua was everyone’s favorite. That was no surprise. Ben put a lot of care into the hypnosis scenes with Aqua. He was embroiled in an online study course for hypnosis and so when he wrote inductions as Aqua it was imperative that he practice how to do correct terminology and pace his scenes as if they were really happening.

Ben had never hypnotized anyone. He thought he’d be too shy to and he didn’t really enjoy going on voice chat. He liked getting practice, though. He would think about how Aqua would do it and tried to let her words flow through his lips… or fingertips.

ADFBrainerd: Happy to be online Master. Going to check on the board and see if there’s anything to respond to.

There were about 25 people who frequented the board and Ben was one of the most active posters there. The weekend was peak posting time and as luck would have it, one of the better roleplayers was having a scene in the library. Becky Keene had ensnared Sylvie Maxwell and was trying to perform a silent induction upon her in order to not attract the watchful attention of the librarian.

Becky’s player had even left an out-of-character note in their post that the librarian was free to get involved if she wished.

Ben looked at the post and thought of Aqua. Pulled the shape of her up in his mind. Pictured the tightness of her outfit, the strain of her eyes and the weight of glasses on the bridge of her nose, the way she drew her chin back to look down at people from any angle, the slenderness of her hands, the mild irritation from earrings, the scent of hairspray, the way she chewed on her bottom lip.

When he wrote characters he found it so easy to allow them to form like this in his mind. He could practically hear their voices or tune in to their thoughts. He couldn’t do this with every character. It was less of a design and more of a feeling. That feeling attached to a concept and the two bonded in a way that breathed life in a way that just felt right.

Ben read through the post again and listened to the Aqua shaped emotions to get a feel for how she would react in a situation like this. Flooded with confidence, he allowed his fingers to translate those feelings into a post.

—

“Shh…”

Anyone who entered the library was familiar with the harsh hushing whisper of The Librarian. Most of the school had been programmed to associate it was the bliss of trance.

“Shh…”

The harsh hissing hush brushed between the librarian’s painted lips and surely rattled both Becky and Sylvie’s minds, hazing them with a sweet serene sense of surrender.

“Shh…”

Irresistible as always the librarian’s programming swayed the young women. Silently commanding them to focus their attention, let their eyes grow distant, let their bodies become docile husks, open and ready for programming.

“Shh…”

Aqua’s heels clicked on the wood floor of the library as she approached the students in the midst of their hypnosis session. Hypnosis was not banned in the library but it was rude to do so without the permission of The Librarian.

“Shh…”

Aqua gently placed her hands on Becky’s shoulders as she bent down to position herself behind her ear, clear enough to stare directly at the entranced form of Sylvie. She could feel a rising heat in her chest as she looked at those glassy eyes. Her chest gently poked against Becky’s back as she teased in close, eyes not leaving Sylvie’s enticingly

empty gaze.

“That’s it… just hush and listen.”

Becky’s body was already becoming putty in Aqua’s hands, her hands kneaded against the tense muscles of her shoulder.

“By all means, my dear, you may continue your silent induction. Show me just how good and empty Sylvie can be for you while you show me how blank and obedient you can be for me.”

Becky squeaked out a gentle murmur of arousal but Aqua harshly hissed a “Shh…” into her ear, silencing her and grasping control. Obediently Becky continued her silent induction, her own eyes reflecting just how hollow and empty Sylvie’s were.

Becky had Sylvie and Aqua had Becky.

OOC: Feel free to keep up the momentum of the post, I want Becky to keep doing what she wants but Aqua is totally going to take her after the scene is over.

—

Ben submitted the post, satisfied before tabbing back to Alex’s IM window.

ADFBrainerd: All caught up. Aqua’s got a couple new playthings.

Ben found himself at home with the roleplay group. It let him indulge in his fantasy without the weight of eroticism and real world sexuality at play. He had not yet entered hypnokink spaces online. The idea of sex and eroticism were still intimating and terrifying to him. He much preferred the fantasy of story driven spaces, especially on a server which had strict rules about content guidelines. The play was inherently kinky for the theme but nudity and sexual themes were forbidden.

Ben liked that.

It did, however, leave him open to being educated on the etiquette of a hypnokink connection and active hypnosis play by someone who believed that consent was a contract forever signed at the moment someone agreed to be hypnotized the first time.

DragonTamerSensei: Cool. I’ll check it out.

DragonTamerSensei: So I take it you’re home for the weekend?

ADFBrainerd: Yes Master

DragonTamerSensei: Well you should just listen and relax then

Alex was not a safe play partner.

DragonTamerSensei: Feeling so nice as you do

DragonTamerSensei: Feel yourself sinking down

DragonTamerSensei: Thoughts fading away

It was not abnormal for him to test triggers and begin scenes without confirming Ben’s status or even if he wanted to. Alex enjoyed knowing he could do with him whatever he wanted and whenever he wanted to.

Ben’s home situation meant that he was always alone and if he was online, in Alex’s eyes, he was always fair game.

DragonTamerSensei: Feeling so perfect

DragonTamerSensei: No thoughts no cares

DragonTamerSensei: Only my words

DragonTamerSensei: Guiding you

DragonTamerSensei: Controlling you

DragonTamerSensei: Feels so familiar

DragonTamerSensei: So natural and nice

DragonTamerSensei: So easy to follow along

DragonTamerSensei: So easy to obey

DragonTamerSensei: So natural to follow your masters commands

Alex had recorded a looping file which he commanded Ben to sleep with running all of the time. Ben didn’t listen to it every night. But he did listen to it.

Some days he wanted to just delete his accounts and destroy his computer from the shame he felt from the way he explored his emerging kink.

Other days he reminded himself that it was a safe and normal thing to have odd interests.

DragonTamerSensei: Feeling so safe and protected

DragonTamerSensei: Thoughts disappearing

DragonTamerSensei: My words your reality

DragonTamerSensei: Feeling so right

DragonTamerSensei: 5

DragonTamerSensei: 4

DragonTamerSensei: 3

DragonTamerSensei: 2

DragonTamerSensei: 1

Ben sagged back against his desk chair and allowed his eyes to unfocus slightly. The faint softness of trance mingled with his exhaustion and created a pleasant state of disconnect that he adored. It had become an addiction.

He loved this feeling so very much.

DragonTamerSensei: Deeper and deeper

DragonTamerSensei: Tell me how you feel

ADFBrainerd: deep calm obdeint

His fingers glided over the keys, sometimes so faintly that they did not depress fully. He liked the typos. They felt like they were proof of the fact he was entranced. It let him lean into the fantasy a little more. He did believe in hypnosis. He would not have been studying if he did not believe in it. But this was all fantasy. He didn’t truly believe Master was controlling and reprogramming him. But it felt okay to play along.

The blissful sensation of trance helped a lot.

DragonTamerSensei: What are you thinking?

ADFBrainerd: muast obey

DragonTamerSensei: Who do you obey?

ADFBrainerd: naster

DragonTamerSensei: When I command what do you do?

ADFBrainerd: obey

DragonTamerSensei: Does it matter if you are awake or in trance?

ADFBrainerd: no master

DragonTamerSensei: Do you hesitate before obeying?

ADFBrainerd: no master

DragonTamerSensei: Very good

DragonTamerSensei: Obey

DragonTamerSensei: Doing so well

DragonTamerSensei: Feeling so perfect

DragonTamerSensei: No thoughts

DragonTamerSensei: No will

ADFBrainerd: i must iobey

ADFBrainerd: i must ivet

ADFBrainerd: iu must ivety

ADFBrainerd: iu must ibvey

Every line Ben typed he was compelled to type it again. He would keep doing this again and again until Alex told him to stop. He had once left Ben on simmer while he went and took a shower. Left Ben repeating the phrase over and over as a test to see if he would obey.

Ben passed the test. He remembered feeling that if he stopped now he would be abandoned and rejected for being a fake subject. So he just kept telling himself over and over that he’d do another couple and see if Alex came back.

It hurt to be left like that. Typing the same message over and over, not even sure when he’d be given permission to stop. A part of him said that he wouldn’t feel awful if he was really hypnotized because he wouldn’t have been able to think or feel time passing. Another part of him hated that Alex made him feel that way.

Yet still. He obeyed.

Still he typed on.

ADFBrainerd: iu nmust ibvey

ADFBrainerd: i nust iobey

ADFBrainerd: iu nust iobvey

ADFBrainerd: u nyust vey

DragonTamerSensei: Feel your obedient core coming to the forefront

DragonTamerSensei: Feel yourself become Aqua

DragonTamerSensei: Feeling Aqua coming to the forefront

DragonTamerSensei: Letting yourself bow out and give her room to step forward

Much as that feeling that scanned the roleplay post allowed Ben to sense how Aqua would react in prose, so too could he just immerse himself in that feeling entirely. Let it become him. Spread through his mind, through his body, through his very essence.

It was hard at first but it got so much easier with practice.

ADFBrainerd: i nust iobvey

ADFBrainerd: u nust ivety

ADFBrainerd: u nust iobey

ADFBrainerd: iu just ibey

ADFBrainerd: iu nmust ibey

DragonTamerSensei: Her thoughts and memories filling you completely

DragonTamerSensei: Your body becoming her body

DragonTamerSensei: You can see it clearly and feel it perfectly

Ben vanished in these windows. He had to scroll up and read the chatlog later on. Spontaneous hypnotic amnesia was normal enough that he often had to request to be able to remember scenes after the fact.

He kept all his chatlog to ensure nothing bad ever happened.

It allowed him the faith to truly let go. So that’s what he did. He let go completely.

Allowed the emotions that surrounded those roleplay posts to take form. Allow the inner-hypnotist to emerge. The confidence and the desire to envelope him until there was no more ‘him’ left to cover.

ADFBrainerd: iu must iobey

ADFBrainerd: i nmust iobey

ADFBrainerd: i must iobey

Aqua typed, her eyes glazed over, her mind clouded, her focus intent.

ADFBrainerd: i just ibey

ADFBrainerd: iu njmust iobvey

DragonTamerSensei: Stop. Tell me how you feel

ADFBrainerd: nmust ibey

ADFBrainerd: empoty Master

DragonTamerSensei: then wake up obedient and subservient

DragonTamerSensei: 3

DragonTamerSensei: 2

DragonTamerSensei: 1

DragonTamerSensei: Wide awake

Aqua opened her eyes. The veil between fantasy and reality wasn’t firm. She was home. She was with Master. She was calm and comfortable and obedient.

Teases of discomfort edged into her perception, her hands were too large, she couldn’t feel the weight of her hair, the room she was in wasn’t quite right. If she pressed against any of those thoughts, there would be a static fuzz, the force of like-charged magnets pressing against one another between her eyes.

She was talking to Master. That was all that needed to be focused upon.

It all felt artificially natural. Falsely normal. Confusingly clear.

DragonTamerSensei: Good evening, Aqua

DragonTamerSensei: How’s my favorite recruitment doll?

A flash of pride erupted in Aqua’s heart. Praise from Master always made her swell with pride. She was supposed to. Master had sculpted her to feel that way.

ADFBrainerd: As well as ever, My Master. Though I must confess to finding the title slightly unearned. I do not consider myself to serve a purpose of recruitment.

DragonTamerSensei: What do you call that post? Becky and Sylvie are recruited

Aqua scrunched her nose, it felt patronizing to treat her fiction as a reality. She was quite aware of the differences between the roleplay librarian and herself.

ADFBrainerd: Those are mere stories, My Master. Delightful and alluring fabrications, but they are mere fiction. Plus who was to say I intended to have Aqua deliver the ladies to Mr. Brown?

DragonTamerSensei: What is the purpose of pretty girls, doll?

ADFBrainerd: obey Master

Her fingers moved before her mind. Alex had buried that automatic reply into her over and over.

DragonTamerSensei: Some pretty girls?

ADFBrainerd: all pretty girls

DragonTamerSensei: Are you a pretty girl, Aqua?

ADFBrainerd: yes master

DragonTamerSensei: What do pretty girls do?

ADFBrainerd: obey master

DragonTamerSensei: So do you obey?

ADFBrainerd: yes master

Aqua felt dizzy. Her eyes fluttered helplessly as she absorbed her master’s conditioning. On some level she knew this was wrong but the lines between fantasy and reality were blurring more and more and it felt so good to be useful and adored.

DragonTamerSensei: I wish I had time to stay and play tonight my toy

DragonTamerSensei: But if you want to be useful I can help

ADFBrainerd: How may I serve you, My Master?

DragonTamerSensei: Another one of my precious toys will be lonely tonight

DragonTamerSensei: If you wish to be a recruitment doll for me so much

DragonTamerSensei: Will you program her for me?

Aqua’s heart skipped. The initial thought that came to mind was ‘I’ve never hypnotized anyone before’ but the thought felt wrong. Of course she had. She was a hypnotic temptress. She was the personification of hypnotic compulsion. Surely she had hypnotized people before… [Really? Who? When?] She slammed her eyes shut and shook off the blurry feeling inside of her, attempting to recall was not a comfortable sensation. Easier to push it away.

Master must have erased her memory of previous encounters. She reasoned it so firmly that it just became a fact. A recruitment doll would have its memory erased after giving a pretty girl to Master. That way she wouldn’t become attached. That makes sense. Right? [Didn’t you just type that you have never recruited for him outside of the stories?]

Aqua rubbed her eyes and tried to concentrate. She wasn’t feeling right. It was easier not to think. That’s what a good doll should do. Not think.

On the screen she had already replied.

ADFBrainerd: Yes Master.

Over the next few minutes Alex drew Aqua back down into trance and programmed her, told her what to do while he prepared to pair her up with another of his many toys.

Before too long Alex had logged off to deal with his life and Aqua had received a new IM.

MinxySpyglass: hi

MinxySpyglass: Master said I should IM you?

ADFBrainerd: Ah, Minx? I had been told to expect you.

MinxySpyglass: master said you were going to program me

Aqua just blinked at the screen.

It was true but that was much more forward than she had been expecting. She was sure this was supposed to be a series of awkward small talk confessions where both parties tried to get to know one another without revealing anything about themselves.

It was not supposed to go like this.

ADFBrainerd: This is what I was told, yes.

MinxySpyglass: master told me a lot about you

MinxySpyglass: and I read your posts

MinxySpyglass: you write good inductions

ADFBrainerd: Thank you.

MinxySpyglass: yw

Aqua steeled her nerves for a moment and ran through her options. Master had given her instructions and she had no idea how to transition from this straight into work. Until now this had all just been theory [Until now?]

MinxySpyglass: anyway

MinxySpyglass: i’m good for whatever

ADFBrainerd: Okay. Then I’ll just do a little bouncing. In and out of trance. We’ll check in from there?

MinxySpyglass: sure!

Her muscles felt stiff. She was barely accepting the idea that she was going to be doing anything at all and here she was, sailing on without a plan. Foolish, reckless and based on the briefest of introductions.

[Idiot.]

ADFBrainerd: Very good. Now get situated. Are you sitting up or lying down?

MinxySpyglass: sitting in a chair

ADFBrainerd: Then plant your feet flat on the ground, your fingers on the keyboard, make sure you can comfortably read my messages and allow your breathing to slow

ADFBrainerd: You can just focus your attention on my text now

ADFBrainerd: Reading each message over and over

ADFBrainerd: Until I post the next one

ADFBrainerd: Taking your time

The words began to spill out naturally and automatically. Any nervous tension was vanishing with every keystroke. This is who she was. This is what she was meant to do.

ADFBrainerd: Allowing your eyes to absorb each word

ADFBrainerd: Letting each word sink into your mind

ADFBrainerd: As you breathe slowly

ADFBrainerd: Perhaps noticing the idle sounds of the room

ADFBrainerd: The empty, quiet room

ADFBrainerd: And knowing that there are no distractions

ADFBrainerd: There is you, and my words

ADFBrainerd: Which you read so carefully

ADFBrainerd: Allowing them to lead you to trance

ADFBrainerd: Lead you to relaxation

Her heart was starting to quicken in pace and yet the more excited and stressful she found the words flowing more naturally. She was very much in a trance of her own, digging deep into her own mind and summoning every essay, article and textbook that she had read on the topic.

She knew her stuff. All she needed was to get out of her own way and let herself work.

ADFBrainerd: Taking another slow deep breath

ADFBrainerd: Noticing that as you heavily breathe out

ADFBrainerd: Your head may feel slightly heavier

ADFBrainerd: And that's normal

ADFBrainerd: So take another deep breath

ADFBrainerd: With that in mind

ADFBrainerd: And continue to sink down

ADFBrainerd: Feeling safe

ADFBrainerd: At ease

ADFBrainerd: Comfortable in our solitude

ADFBrainerd: Warm and comfortable

ADFBrainerd: Perhaps situating yourself in your chair

ADFBrainerd: And allowing your eyes to grow heavy

ADFBrainerd: Or sighing out to find pure relaxation

ADFBrainerd: Were you aware of how refreshing it can be?

ADFBrainerd: To just breathe in trance?

ADFBrainerd: Noticing how you drift more with every deep breath in

Her swift fingers pounded out message after message, minimizing any possibility of waiting her practice partner would need to do. The image of watching the green ‘Online’ icon switch to a yellow ‘Idle’ icon as a way of convincing. Something about that concept felt familiar.

She gave a moment of pause here though, to give Minx a chance to actually follow the instruction, before finally hitting enter.

ADFBrainerd: And out

She could imagine Minx’s position quite well. A person she had never met and had no description of, and yet the idea of someone following the other side of these words was so natural to imagine. The invisible audience for her words helped her to pile them out as fast as she could.

ADFBrainerd: Letting those heavy eyes close and open at leisure

ADFBrainerd: Knowing my words will stay

ADFBrainerd: Almost like you can read them with your eyes closed

ADFBrainerd: Hold them close and internal

ADFBrainerd: Right inside your mind

ADFBrainerd: So if you let your eyes dip

ADFBrainerd: You can open them again

ADFBrainerd: And just absorb my words anew

ADFBrainerd: For now

ADFBrainerd: Just read a message

ADFBrainerd: Close your eyes

ADFBrainerd: Count to 3

ADFBrainerd: And open again

ADFBrainerd: Closing your eyes

ADFBrainerd: And opening again

This way she could slow her pace, let the hypnotee follow the rhythm. All those frantic messages may have overwhelmed at first but now it could slow and they could relax into the gentle flow of messages and let their eyes close and open again and again. There was no way of confirming the other party was following as she imagined and yet she was so delighted by her perfectly planned and yet completely impulsive inspiration that she couldn’t picture anything other than ready compliance.

ADFBrainerd: Breathing slow

ADFBrainerd: So comfortable

ADFBrainerd: So relaxed

ADFBrainerd: Your hands growing heavy

ADFBrainerd: Sinking into the keyboard

ADFBrainerd: Allowing them to press on the keys

The picture of the other person involved them laying fingers on the keyboard and much like the magnet fingers induction she had seen demonstrations of, she could surely convince those fingers to depress a key and prove it by ending the yellow ‘Idle’ status that had stoked up on the Yahoo username.

ADFBrainerd: Each message

ADFBrainerd: Deeper and deeper

ADFBrainerd: Heavier and heavier

ADFBrainerd: Counting down

ADFBrainerd: Each number deepening your trance

ADFBrainerd: Making your hands heavier

ADFBrainerd: Sinking into the keyboard

ADFBrainerd: Counting down now.

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

Her heart raced on. This didn’t feel like enough. She needed to do more. Prove that she knew what she was doing and that this was not a mere roleplay. She just hoped the other person wasn’t bored by her. Such doubts had to be dissuaded by the proof that the session was still going [You know what you’re doing. You are a force of nature. Don’t let doubt creep in.], in fact it was going remarkably well.

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

ADFBrainerd: Sleeping so deeply

ADFBrainerd: Very good

ADFBrainerd: Now I would like you to place your hands on your lap

ADFBrainerd: Letting them rest there

ADFBrainerd: Feeling at ease

ADFBrainerd: Comfortable

ADFBrainerd: Deeper each time I count down

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

ADFBrainerd: Slipping deeper and further under my spell

ADFBrainerd: Further and faster each time

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

ADFBrainerd: Good

ADFBrainerd: You're doing so well

A smirk crossed her face. She had never considered how rote that phrase was ‘you’re doing so well’, realistically Minx could have walked away from her keyboard and be waiting for the commands to pour out.

But it still felt right and once again the knowledge that there was someone attached to these words tickled at the edge of her senses. This was happening.

ADFBrainerd: Sinking so well

ADFBrainerd: Deeper each time

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

ADFBrainerd: Allowing your mind to associate the countdown

ADFBrainerd: Knowing without instruction that it will deepen you

ADFBrainerd: Twice as deep now

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

The ‘Idle’ status had returned from inactivity on Minx’s side. She’d pictured the other person just sitting at a keyboard and the previous test had already proven her fingers had sunk to Aqua’s command. She pictured it clear in her mind as if it were her sitting in front of a keyboard being hypnotized like this and the realization hit her.

There would be letters typed in the IM window, ready to send.

ADFBrainerd: Very good

ADFBrainerd: Doing so well

ADFBrainerd: Focusing on your right hand now

ADFBrainerd: Letting it lighten

ADFBrainerd: Drift up

ADFBrainerd: Raising slowly

ADFBrainerd: Comfortably

ADFBrainerd: Above your keyboard

ADFBrainerd: Feeling your index finger now

ADFBrainerd: Focus intently on it

ADFBrainerd: Thinking so intensely on your index finger

ADFBrainerd: And imagining it becoming attracted to the enter key

ADFBrainerd: Slowly being pulled

ADFBrainerd: Knowing when it connects you will sink

ADFBrainerd: So very deeply

ADFBrainerd: Entirely

ADFBrainerd: Wholey

ADFBrainerd: Into the deepest trance

ADFBrainerd: Being pulled

ADFBrainerd: Like a magnet on your finger tip

ADFBrainerd: And one on the enter key

ADFBrainerd: Pulling closer

ADFBrainerd: And more powerful

ADFBrainerd: Until they connect

ADFBrainerd: Knowing it will bring you so deep

ADFBrainerd: 5

MinxySpyglass: djk

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

She shuddered out an exasperated breath. It worked. Right away. Before she even got to zero.

It was working. She was hypnotizing someone. [Why are you excited? You’re a hypnotist. This is normal for you.]

ADFBrainerd: Very good

ADFBrainerd: You are doing so well

ADFBrainerd: So happy

ADFBrainerd: So safe

ADFBrainerd: So content

ADFBrainerd: Knowing that the long wait is over

ADFBrainerd: Feeling so relievevd

ADFBrainerd: Enjoying your trance

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

With every line Aqua’s pace was picking up and her excitement was battling against her confidence. She was too possessed by the thrill of success.

ADFBrainerd: Good, so so good

ADFBrainerd: You are doing so well

ADFBrainerd: And you know I am pleased

ADFBrainerd: And that makes you feel so proud

ADFBrainerd: Content

ADFBrainerd: Happy

ADFBrainerd: And so feeling that bliss

ADFBrainerd: Feeling that euphoria

ADFBrainerd: I want you to focus and follow now

ADFBrainerd: Focus on my words

ADFBrainerd: Follow my suggestions

ADFBrainerd: Allowing your hands to move

ADFBrainerd: Without thought

ADFBrainerd: Just reading and responding

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

ADFBrainerd: Type the first word that comes to your mind when I ask, how are you feeling?

ADFBrainerd: Letting it happen naturally

ADFBrainerd: Without thought

MinxySpyglass: deep

ADFBrainerd: Safe and easy

ADFBrainerd: Very good

A confident smile spread across her face and she cackled out in glee. Doubt and anxiety were not only dispelled, they had never been there to begin with. There had been moments where she was unsure of her talent, unsure of her drive. But here she was certain. She was Aqua. She was a powerful hypnotist.

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: Deep sleep

Her slender soft fingers danced over the keys to the rhythm of her heart.

ADFBrainerd: And as you sink and realize what you are

ADFBrainerd: You may remember what you were

ADFBrainerd: And you know you can return at any time

ADFBrainerd: That this is a safe trance

ADFBrainerd: All can return to what it was

ADFBrainerd: But if this is what you want

ADFBrainerd: To become Master's good toy

ADFBrainerd: Then you will continue

ADFBrainerd: Do you wish to continue, toy?

MinxySpyglass: yes

Doubt propped up again, but this time it was not sourced from her skills or sense of self. The words she had written. They felt wrong.

Until now the idea of programming one of Master’s toys had been natural. His programming stuck in her head ‘All pretty girls must obey Master’ and yet this was… wrong…

Until now she had been typing messages to this invisible person, imagining a young man [Didn’t Master introduce her as a woman?], though it was less a male shape and more an emotion that she inherently recognized as male. Someone familiar and in need of kindness. She imagined the living emotion having a stranger pounce on their desire for hypnosis and take them to a vulnerable and malleable space. No introduction. No rapport. No trust.

…and that felt wrong.

Guilt consumed Aqua as she understood what she had rushed into, at Master’s command or otherwise. This wasn't fantasy or pretend. She could imagine both sides of the computer screen clearly and at both ends were just people. Vulnerable people who were playing with fire, chasing desires. Until now the identity of 'hypnotic seductress' had seemed normal, alluring and desirable. Now she was taking all the fantasy that she was constructed from and applying it to real life.

It made her feel cheap. It made her feel used.

It eclipsed the triumph in her heart and replaced it instantly with shame.

ADFBrainerd: Take this moment to notice how tranquil and tame you feel

ADFBrainerd: Noticing how well you responded

ADFBrainerd: How wonderful a hypnotic subject you’ve been

ADFBrainerd: And know that it's okay if our session was not perfect

ADFBrainerd: Because it was just an impulse

ADFBrainerd: And we both did our very best, didn’t we?

MinxySpyglass: ess;

ADFBrainerd: Very good. Then briefly, knowing you can always choose to come back into hypnosis, even deeper than this, we'll slowly come up now

Her heart was racing again. This time it was not performance, it was the dismount. She needed to ensure the scene suddenly ending was not internalized as a failure on their part. Positive reinforcement would have to carry that weight.

ADFBrainerd: Just getting situated

ADFBrainerd: Coming back to reality

ADFBrainerd: So happy and refreshed

ADFBrainerd: Fully yourself

ADFBrainerd: Imbued with purpose

ADFBrainerd: Knowing how well you did and that you can share your experiences if you wish

ADFBrainerd: So happy and content

ADFBrainerd: Coming back now

ADFBrainerd: in

ADFBrainerd: 1

ADFBrainerd: 2

ADFBrainerd: 3

ADFBrainerd: 4

ADFBrainerd: 5

ADFBrainerd: Wide awake

She shuddered out a deep breath of her own, as if she herself was the one exiting the hypnotic trance.

ADFBrainerd: And how are you?

MinxySpyglass: feeling nice

ADFBrainerd: Very good. Tell me everything that's going through your mind

MinxySpyglass: just eager to be played with

MinxySpyglass: and feeling really good

Aqua’s fingers lingered on the keyboard. The intrusive feeling of shame was not leaving her. She pictured Master conditioning her to want to be played with. To identify herself as a toy to be played with. Something that seemed so enjoyable until it became too real.

But maybe this was an honest and enthusiastic reaction. She wasn’t sure.

ADFBrainerd: I’m glad.

MinxySpyglass: thank you

ADFBrainerd: But be honest, that was my first time doing this in a live setting. I had not anticipated it being nearly this effective, so, please, walk me through it. How it felt, how you're feeling now?

ADFBrainerd: How did it go for you?

MinxySpyglass: well, right now just trying to stay in the moment.... can disect later

MinxySpyglass: but can't believe that was your first time

MinxySpyglass: you know what your doing

MinxySpyglass: thogh, visualizing things is not my strong suit... so that doesn't really work for me -- although it is still good to try, you just shouldn't expect it to work

MinxySpyglass: especially first time

MinxySpyglass: I respond better to 'feel' things anyway

She swallowed her lip and looked at the screen. It went well. Well enough. There was no longing for more or shaming of performance.

Moreover Minx was being free with criticism. That did a lot for Aqua’s confidence both of how ethical the session was, which was a lost cause for salvaging at this moment, and for honest feedback. Someone who needed a quick fix and didn’t care how they got it wouldn’t criticize. [Would they?]

ADFBrainerd: I shall keep that in mind. Thank you for the solid advice. So I take it none of that really sunk in deeply?

MinxySpyglass: hmm.... maybe a tiny bit... things take time and repetition

ADFBrainerd: I would be surprised to hear otherwise.

MinxySpyglass: but I'm more open than I used to be

MinxySpyglass: so I'm getting better at letting things happen

ADFBrainerd: You're a good subject

MinxySpyglass: not yet but I'll keep getting better

ADFBrainerd: If nothing else, you responded to the "enter key" magnet induction I started using.

MinxySpyglass: that was fun-- I liked all the paths you were going down

MinxySpyglass: you'll get better with time and practice

Aqua closed her eyes and savored relief.

It wasn’t a complete disaster.

MinxySpyglass: anyway

MinxySpyglass: its been fun

MinxySpyglass: but I need to get food

MinxySpyglass: message me again sometime

MinxySpyglass: ok?

She blinked at that. Logging off right away wasn’t how she expected Minx to treat this. She had been worried she would need to create an excuse as to why she couldn’t go back into the scene. It was a pleasant out but it was a surprise.

[She’s probably being nice and thinks that you sucked but doesn’t want to burn the bridge.]

She decided to ensure the connection was open. It wouldn’t hurt to create an organic relationship and try this again in the future. This time with proper knowledge, consent and a plan.

ADFBrainerd: It would be an honor.

ADFBrainerd: We shall speak again soon, I am sure.

ADFBrainerd: Until then, farewell and thank you for allowing me to practice.

She sat back from the keyboard and breathed another sigh of relief. There was something rewarding in running the session and getting the kind of tough but fair feedback that confirmed it wasn’t roleplay. It felt wonderful. Though she could feel a weight of hunger panging at her. Uncertain of how many hours it had been since she had last ate she allowed impulse to guide her through to the kitchen and she settled into the motions of getting a ready meal spinning in the microwave.

There was an inherent discomfort at riding the line between the understanding that she, as a hypnotic vixen who lived for these encounters, the grounded sensation that hypnotic vixens aren't exotic or enchanting when they're playing with real lives and the hidden truth that it was the first time that she had ever performed a hypnotic session on anyone. It wasn't just a push against Alex's hypnotic conditioning that was fueling the unease that was gripping her heart.

A softening awareness of the kitchen began teasing at her mind. A plummeting sensation that something was wrong and the further away from the shores of comfort and conception she sailed the more it overcame her mind.

[Shouldn’t you be…?]

Aqua just stopped mid-motion and it set in.

Alex just left her like this. Just went off and left her… and…

[This isn’t right…]

Ben blinked hard and Aqua shook her head. There was supposed to be a heavy head of hair. The lack of it propelled Aqua further out of her body. Clarity evaded their perception as they stared distantly at their hands. Reality was winning out to fantasy and it made their head feel

weird, like it couldn’t handle the rawness of the world and needed to push back instinctively. He’d been Aqua. Master had him become Aqua and didn’t put a condition for returning back to his right self.

He’d… no She’d… no… THEY had hypnotized a complete stranger and then been left to just… deal with the rest of the night. Abandoned. No closure to the suggestion. No aftercare.

Did Alex not even care? Leaving them like this? So irresponsibly, so thoughtlessly, so impulsively.

Their emotions bottomed out. Nothing felt real anymore. It was a free fall and a panic attack. Tears burned as they rapidly tensed their hand and drew it into a fist over and over again as they backed off and planted their back against the fridge door before sliding to the ground. This was fucked up. They were fucked up.

“None of this is real, none of this is real…” he muttered to himself.

[You’re just hungry. Get something in your system. You’ll feel better.]

This should have felt like a moment of victory and yet the negativity could not stop swarming over.

They were crying. They had no idea why.

[Stop it. Stop crying. Just eat something.]

The entire evening was just washing into itself. The highs they had experienced were being washed away. All of it was just blending into a chaotic maelstrom that defied clarity.

[Ben. You’re fine. You’re safe. Stop crying and get up.]

The microwave pinged, shocking the quivering mess back to attention.

Bell got up. She was tired, but she knew that she’d be fine after eating something.

Thank you for reading! As always comments and feedback appreciated. Follow me on Twitter @Camden_Dawn or Tumblr at MissCammieDawn for future updates and info.

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