I nuzzled my owner. My owner. Digitalis owned me, her pet. The idea of not being hers revolted me. How could I ever have thought I didn't want this? Mistress ran the brush through my hair again and I shivered in delight.
Her finger found its way under my chin to deliver scritches. "Who's my darling beloved pet?"
"Me!" I peeked at the VR simulation where Nora was happily cleaning while humming to herself. "And Nora!" She laughed through her body right next to me. I had trouble with dual processing VR and physical reality like they both could.
"What a good girl~" Mistress saying those words always got to me. I loved hearing them. I adored hearing them, it was like a compulsion… It was a compulsion. I needed to hear those words multiple times a day.
Digi seemed to notice I was doing a deep think and relaxed on the grooming and cooing. "Tell me what's on your mind, little one."
"I just realized how much I like and need to hear the words good girl and was wondering if it's like a hypnosis thing or a conditioning thing. The problem is I remember it being a thing before you started living with me and I'm really confused as to how I got like this." A small vine silenced me from rambling more at her order. She then rewarded me with a kiss on the top of my head.
"Ah yes, that. You are right my intelligent little pet, that wasn't me and it was conditioning. I read through the notes Cyathea made regarding her work with you. Her attempts to condition you to take care of yourself had adorable side effects. However, not all of the training was unintentional." Mistress tapped me on the side and my arm raised. Another vine massaged my throat and I swallowed. It took me a second to realize she began walking me through stuff Cyathea sometimes did.
Oh wow, I was being trained all the way back then. The thought had me smiling extra big. "So uh, she was training me to be a pet? She always said she respected how I wanted to be uh, independent." That word came out with a lot of disgust. It left an awful taste in my mouth to say it in reference to me.
Mistress brought me back to focus as she ran the brush through my waterfall of hair again. "While legally you were entitled to your independence, you were always going to be a pet. You, my sweet little aster, needed to be a pet. We all knew. I had hoped you would reach out to Cyathea or I once you realized it, but you are an especially silly pet."
"Y-Yea…" My cheeks reddened as I thought back on all of my ridiculous behavior. Gah!! Everything was so obvious, and I was being so smart about all of it. I didn't even notice I was a floret… Wait, I didn't even know when I became a floret. "How long have I been a floret? Also, how did you like get me to agree and sign off on it?"
"My beautiful little pet, you became mine in that first week of me living with you. As for how, you remember what class-Ds are right?" Mistress received a nod. "You had made it clear to me on them that you wanted to be mine despite the many issues you were working through. After a week, you had a little breakdown about the thought of me leaving again. A class-D and a conversation later had you filling out the forms. I decided for your health and happiness, with your input, to take the memory away from you."
That took a second to process. It made sense that I'd have only asked for it back then with a class-D letting me say what I wanted without the messy shame and anxiety getting in the way. Like Mistress said, I needed to be a pet. Problem was I wouldn't let myself be.
"And I signed the papers then?"
Instead of speaking, Mistress brought up a video on my glasses of the signing. The affini had helped walk me through each little bit of the process and then I watched some forgotten version of me become a floret. "This recording is one of my favorites. Nora's signing wasn't nearly as grand and dramatic. She signed long after she realized she was mine. You signed it long before you could let yourself be mine."
I saw the humor in it. I felt her feelings swell at the memories, but once her feelings left me, I was left with… envy. The previous me got to sign the documents, but I didn't. This aster didn't get to sign anything to become a floret. I wanted that. Mistress would give me anything I asked for… or rather she'd give me anything I begged for. She really liked it when I begged.
My pleading eyes found her expectant ones. She might not know exactly what I was thinking about, but Mistress knew I was about to beg for something. Something related to signing a paper. "M-Mistress, can I please sign the papers again? Pretty please? I want to give myself to you. I want to remember giving myself to you. Please let me give myself to you on paper. I'm your little pet, your little aster, and I want to write it again! I'll be nice and good and obedient. Please. Pretty please?"
My owner loved it. Digi always enjoyed when I did needy little pet things. "My little aster, I knew you'd ask to sign again and I have some physical papers stashed away just for this. These can't change anything, but the bureaucracy knows florets love to sign again and again."
Nora eagerly got up and strode away. A few moments later she came back with a stack of physical paper. The stack was a bit bigger than I thought it'd be. A copy of the ones I signed to become a floret. I was practically vibrating in my seat. Gah!!! She was letting me sign the domestication papers again! Stars, Mistress made me like paperwork. Her power over me was truly breathtaking and I loved every bit of it.
"I didn't realize there were so many papers for this." I said, staring at the stack before us.
Mistress laughed. "My silly little aster, this isn’t even close to all of them. These are just the extra fun ones."
"Uh Digi, do you like paperwork?" That sounded really weird. Like I was getting to give myself to her but she just enjoyed paperwork or something.
"I indulge myself sometimes." Her lips quirked into a subtle smug smile.
I started giggling which seemed to confuse and then delight my owner. "Mistress, you're like the biggest dork ever. I love you."
Nora chimed in. "Aster's right Mistress, you are a big dork and we love you." We hugged Digitalis from our respective sides of her lap.
She hugged us back. "You two are very silly and I love you both so very much." Mistress then broke the hug. "Now, before you two drift off into your little petspaces, there's exciting paperwork to finish." That brought Nora and I back to giggling. Digi wasn't joking, she was excited and it made me excited too.
Mistress wrapped her vines around my right arm to hold it steady and began enthusiastically walking me through every bit of the domestication papers. As we kept going I had to stop when I got to the first really weird bit.
I, Aster Lutea, Second Floret, hereby confirm that I am very cute and deserve all the good things which are coming to me.
"Mistress, this one seems really silly."
She gave me a head pat. "Flower, we take this very seriously. You are very cute and deserving and you will acknowledge that in these documents."
"Yes Mistress!" I chirped before checking it off with her assistance.
We got to another silly and yet completely serious thing to check and sign off on.
I, Digitalis Lutea, so swear that my floret is extremely cute and adorable and I love her very much and will take wonderful care of her and she deserves all the nice things I can give her.
"This one's for me, petal." Mistress poked my wrist and my hand let go of the pen for her to take. I did a happy wiggle at her delicately and lovingly sign off on that.
I, Aster Lutea, Second Floret, hereby confirm that I am a good girl who will obey my guardian, Digitalis Lutea, Third Bloom, in all things. This is for my safety, wellbeing, and care.
I checked that one off as fast as I could.
You do have a guarantee of head pats, petting, cuddles, and grooming in addition to your wellbeing, as defined in Section 57 of the █ █ █ █ █ █ Domestication Treaty. This does not preclude corrective measures from being imposed where discipline is required.
My eyes reread that one a few times. "Mistress, why is that word censored?"
"Because my beloved aster, that word would imply that you are human and we both know you are actually an aster." The way she said my name was like I was a thing and not a person. She had been doing it for a little while, but she never made it this clear. I liked it. I was an aster. I was an adorable, silly, intelligent, controlled, and loved aster, not a gross awful scary human.
My lip did a little tremble. "Th-Thank you Mistress."
"You're very welcome, pet." Her vines guided me in checking off that too.
Your guardian, Digitalis Lutea, Third Bloom, owns you. A pet is property. You do not have political rights in the Affini Compact. All existing rights and privileges are invalid and inapplicable.
I, Aster Lutea, Second Floret, hereby confirm that I am a very silly princess who loves her pinnate Nora Lutea, First Floret very very much.
As I read over that one a smile forced its way onto my face. "Nooooora! You did this, didn't you?"
She squeezed me like a doll. "Of course I did, you very silly princess. I wanted it in writing. Now check it off. I begged for ten minutes to get this on here."
I just doubled over in a fit of giggles. The idea of Nora begging for that long was priceless. I couldn't speak in my silly fit of laughter, so I messaged Mistress.
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: Mistress, may I please see the video? 🥺 Pretty please?
Digitalis put a small clip of it on my glasses before it ended prematurely. "Now if you are a good girl and finish up your paperwork I might let you watch the rest."
My hand had already checked it off before she finished the words good girl.
I, Aster Lutea, Second Floret, so swear to do my best as a good girl to not get caught when hacking and to never harm anyone.
The rule! She put the rules in here except it wasn't ‘don't get caught’ it was now ‘try not to get caught’. I mean, I had gotten caught on numerous occasions as I learned affini tech. I still did sometimes. Mistress did paperwork because of it, though I guess she liked that. Digi was a dork.
From this moment forth, your full legal name is Aster Lutea, Second Floret. You will answer to, and refer to yourself by, any name your guardian chooses to permit you.
Sign here to acknowledge your understanding and acceptance of these terms
Mistress made my signature look so pretty. I had the worst handwriting but she made it good. Technically this was the first bit of handwriting I'd done since the first time I signed these papers.
"And now for the biometrics." Mistress said.
Nora immediately interrupted. "Miss Talis! Can Aster use her dental arrangement as her biometrics?"
"That is a lovely suggestion, my pretty little petal." Mistress gripped her in VR tight while my pinnate shivered in pleasure at the sensations Mistress was editing in for her to feel.
It wasn't until Nora had come back, and Mistress had me about to use my mouth that I realized what she meant. Nora wanted me to give the paper bities as my biometric signature. Mistress even started putting something on my teeth and forced my fangs out.
I was hesitant about biting a piece of paper. "W-What if I get a papercut on my tongue?"
"Flower, do you honestly think that the Compact uses paper that sophonts can injure themselves with?" Oh. Yea, Mistress had a point. "Here let me show you." She ran my finger down the edge of one of the sheets and my brain kept telling me that it'd hurt and slice my finger open, but it never did. The edge was soft, smooth, and incapable of cutting. I kinda wanted to do it again. It was soooo texture.
Mistress then finished covering my teeth with the stuff. She tapped my jaw open, and then tapped my chin to shut my fanged bite on the paper. Another tap and she removed the paper with four little holes in it from my mouth. The sheet had bite marks. It had an inky impression of my mildly crooked teeth and fang holes right in the biometrics.
My affini wiped all the stuff out of my mouth and said. "You did very well, my little aster. Now since you were such a good girl, you deserve a reward."
She put the clip of Nora groveling before her on my glasses as she resumed brushing my hair. I was such a pampered little princess.
* * *
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: Sorry, I didn't talk for half the session.
"Princess, there's nothing to apologize for. You have no talking moods a lot, that's perfectly normal for little asters. Besides, you said more words in that session of Fields & Florets than you have in like the last three days combined." My girlfriend really liked to exaggerate to make me feel better. She was great.
Like sure, it was our first session of a ttrpg game. I'd never played one at an actual table and it'd been years since I played at all. Nora's friends were even super nice and accommodating. I mean, they were all florets and florets were just nicer than other sophonts. Something about being loved, controlled, and cared for by a big sexy plant made individuals kinder. So weird.
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: That doesn't even make sense
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: I talk all the time.
Nora giggled. "Girl, I know you have a near perfect memory now. Count up every word you've said the last three days and then count up how many you said in that session. Out loud words only. We both know it's different when you mentally type."
My memory was super amazing now. It was a gift from the loving affini owner that was carrying us home. I connected to my supercomputer and used it to help me rapidly process my memories counting the number of words I had spoken.
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: 1213 spoken words over three days…
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: and 3576 spoken words during that session…
My pinnate had such a smug look. "Exactly! That was like a week of verbal aster crammed into four hours. Little princess asters don't talk a lot and that's perfectly valid."
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: But then why does an aster need to be social?
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: Especially with humans
"Princess, don't pretend you didn't totally have fun hanging out with them." Nora chided. "Besides, you volunteered to join."
"Exactly. Little asters need social time on occasion."
The conversation ended there.
The whole way back it was thoughts of asters. Deep thinks on the mentions of what asters are. Gah!!! It had been days and ever since Mistress declared I wasn't human, I couldn't stop circling right back. Sure, there was like the whole form thing that Nora and Digitalis were helping me with but now it was less physical and more… like everything. Stuff is weird.
When we got home I got loving lap cuddles from my pinnate and owner. Holding and feeling them always made things better. Being held by them was better than that. These two would never leave me ever. They promised. They both promised a lot, and I believed them. Still my mind needed to hear it regularly just like I needed praise for being a good girl.
Ugh, even home and in a cozy cuddle, my mind was not dropping the philosophical identity thing. Repetitive thoughts were so aster. Mistress permitted the thinks. She could, with a word, a touch, or a command to my implant, silence my entire inner monologue and turn me into a needy little pet. She didn't. Instead, I dwelled and pondered and did all that in an increasingly familiar mental while loop of existential thoughts. I'm an aster. What's an aster? Me. What's me? Not human. That's not an answer, what am I? I'm an aster.
"Mistress, what am I?"
"You are a pet, a floret, and an aster." She paused to look me over. "But you already know that. You want to know what those mean." Digi was the smartest. It took her a while, but now it felt like she could read my mind at a glance. I needed that, because whatever was going on in my head was incomprehensible to me. I really wished my brain had a command line and I could just query it for answers.
I nodded and gave an affirmative noise.
A vine tugged on my collar pulling me up until a noticeable amount of my weight was supported by it. The predator gazed hungrily. Her scary hot dominant side came out and turned me into a whimpering mess. "You are property, an object. I own you, my darling little pet. The ease by which I can control you is immeasurable. You are a thrall, a pet, and an extension of my will. I could reshape you into anything I wanted and you'd thank me for it. You're my pet."
Mistress gently lowered me back down and held me tight with vines. "Little flower, you are my loved one. A romantic partner for me and your pinnate who I love and cherish more than the stars themselves. You are so sweet and needy, giving me all the more reason to care for you. You are mine to be doted on in every way I know how. You're my floret, and you will always be."
The pause lingered. An intentional gap left for me to respond. "I-I know those. You made me know them. I love being a pet and a floret. I love being an aster too, but I don't know what that means. Even seeing my other selves in the implant dream didn't help that. I'm uncomfortable with being human, but that's the absence of a thing… Mistress, can you please tell me what am I?"
A vine stroked my cheek. My owner Digitalis Lutea, Third Bloom looked at me not as a pet, or a floret, but something else. I'd seen her work, especially when she designed my implant. This was the look of a technical specialist looking at their device. I was analyzed. Decoded. Digitalis spoke. "You are a sophont. You are a construct of thoughts and feelings formed from a beautiful neurological network that I am slowly converting into a technological one. One that can easily be programmed and modified. You, my little aster, are a machine of flesh and tech. You are biotech software running on biotech hardware. My beautiful little construct, my machine, my robot, my flower, my sophont, my pet, my floret, and my aster." Her words came out so steady and firm.
"From before I sent you that first little message I had already compiled so much data on you. I sifted through and found something enduring and in need of repair. A little machine in terrans clothing. The more I interacted with you, the more that became clear. There were good parts to your construction. Necessary parts, both mental and physical, but some parts needed to be replaced."
"I replaced them for you. Slowly and carefully I took those pieces of you that didn't work and replaced them with ones that did. I started with your feelings of inadequacy. Next I pried out your loneliness. Both left scars and with the implant I mended those too. I smoothed over the harshness of your thoughts. I removed your fear of leaving your home. More recently I removed that voice telling you that your enjoyment of intimacy was wrong. All the small little worries and dysfunctions you had are long gone. A few larger ones are left and I'll replace those too if that brings my little aster to being her best self."
That was, uh… A lot of stuff. Things made sense when Digi explained them but still. I was processing the answer to my big existential think. "I'm a robot?" That's what I got out of all that sexy I own you stuff.
Mistress's smile grew into that sinister knowing smirk that she used when I was so oblivious to her control. "You tell me little one. Do you want to be my little machine?"
I froze. Did I want to be a machine… Gah!!!!!!!!!! What the actual dirt?! I-I… No? Yes? Yes… Oh my stars, the replacing parts. I'd been thinking about that for years! Then the affini showed up and I spent weeks browsing to just replace my limbs, my brain… a robot. An object to be owned… That wasn't… I couldn't just be… Mistress couldn't just-just say that.
I looked to my pinnate who had been patiently sitting this out. Nora was a robot. I adored that. I loved that… I envied that? Dirt, this was just like that time when I discovered gender envy. Was this species envy? That sounded dumb. Robots didn't have species. Stars in the sky, this was weird and didn't make sense. It was all too vague. I needed something discrete and physical to process.
"N-Nora? Can I um, body swap you for a bit?"
My robot maid girlfriend wore a simple polite smile. "I'd love to if my owner lets me." Then she winked. The bully. Stars, I loved her.
Pleading eyes bore into Digi. Sure, she could control me and turn me into whatever she wanted, but I had the power of needy begging. Were the affini truly in control, or was it the florets who could play their heartstrings the real power of the Compact? Okay it was the affini, but still. "Mistress, please?????"
She patted both of our heads. "How could I ever say no to my precious adorable little pet aster?"
"Hey Aster, or should I say Nora." I said, or uh, Nora said in my body.
I looked down at my hands. Her hands… This was weird but oddly good. I flexed the fingers. There was so much satisfaction from the servos turning. The tinge of machinery lurking beneath the ever soft and huggable maid exterior.
A fully robotic body. It felt so comfy. Okay so, not entirely. It was the wrong shape for me, and some of the bits were still off even accounting for that. I was… probably maybe considering the possibility I might be a robot, but like a different kind than Nora. Some of her bits were too like a human for me, and others were too not like a human for me. Her entire motor system had a secondary software overlay for fine movement modification. It was how she always moved so flawlessly in her maid business. Weird.
Also Nora's boobs were just too small. She laughed at me as I groped them. "Hey princess, don't frown when touching my breasts. I'll ban you from boob privileges."
I pouted. "I love your boobs, they're just… small."
"Aster, I love you but how dare you! Yours are like ridiculous. How are you not constantly falling over with these, oh wait, you are." Nora was very butt hurt and poking my body's tits. Mine were the best.
"Hey, that's the class-Es and you know it. Besides, you love how big they are." I shot back.
She held my hand over my heart mockingly. "I resent the notion, maid. And it is you who loves my chest."
"Well perhaps I do milady, but I love them on you not me. You're just jealous."
Nora bared my fangs. "Maybe I should teach this little maid her place."
I smirked. She had a library of her smirks in her body's settings. "You can try."
Nora pounced me and sank my fangs into her neck. She sank her fangs into my neck. Uh… It took a second for Mistress to flood me with the class-A for bities. Nora nibbled again and I started moaning in her voice. Squirming… Oh my stars, this dork had squirming presets. I didn't have the focus to use any of them. Fangs were sensually and lovingly sending drug fueled shockwaves into my brain.
The busty vampiress pulled back. "Is my little maid going to listen, or do I have to show her all the erogenous zones on that body?"
"Well?" That fanged grin was on my face and…
"I-I'll listen. I promise to be a good maid. Please no more, milady please." I was close to figuring out stuff, and if she went for round two I wouldn't be thinking much the rest of the night.
She leaned down to my neck, like she was going for round two, and I whimpered. The vampiress whispered into my ear. "Such a submissive little thing aren't you. Maybe I'll take another bite just for fun."
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: red light
Nora pulled back immediately and dropped the act. "Sorry princess, you okay?"
"I uh,,, y-yea. Um." Gosh she left me such a flustered mess. Words were extra hard. I began composing thought text because that was always easier than vocal words.
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: I uh, liked it but now's not a good kinky time.
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: there were deep thinks I was sorting out
[SystemLurkerPrincess]: Need mental clarity
Nora sat up with help from Mistress. My body's muscles were a bit soft and clumsy from all the xenodrugs. A moment after, they both helped me up off my back. "So, our beautiful silly princess was having big revelations?"
"Uh, yea…" I ran my thoughts back through the prior bits right before that. "I asked if I was a robot, and then we switched…"
"Yea, how do you like my body? Pretty great isn't it. There's also that fun perk of not having a hundred pounds of hair hanging off my head." Nora got me pouting again. My hair was like my thing, along with like fifty other things, but it was my first thing. The first bit of my body that felt like an aster.
"No dissing my hair." I held my glare to show I was serious before addressing the actual stuff. "As for the body… I like the feel of the movement. The lack of some uh sensory feelings of internal bits is nice, but it's not me…"
Mistress cut into my hesitant, dancing around the elephant in the room, thing. "Do you want to be my little machine?"
Right, the question. The big question. "Uh, but like I can't actually ever be a real true robot…" My words were silenced by a glowing blue glare.
"Aster, you are literally being a robot right now. The affini very actually made me digital. You can be whatever you want. Do you want to be a robot?" Stars. Yea, they could do that, couldn't they… but like even if I had a robot body I would still be myself and I wasn't born a- "Okay, you're using my face to do that thing where you try to rationalize why you can't just have the thing you want."
I peered at her interface and went to set the expression to a neutral blank one, but something booted me out of her interface thing. It thought it was her for a second until I realized it was Mistress. She wanted me to not hide.
My girlfriend continued using my own voice. It felt like I was back in the implant dream hearing and seeing myself talk to me. Only I was on the receiving end of the self-help. "Princess. Let me put this in terms your silly little mind can understand. Were you born looking like a girl?"
"No." Easy answer but I couldn't see where she was going.
"And would you say you are a girl now?"
That felt like a trick question. "Yes?"
"and you had a general discomfort with your body that led you to align your outer self and inner self, right?"
I groaned. "I know what dysphoria is Nora."
"Exactly." She looked super excited to say the next bit. "Being uncomfy in your body is dysphoria, but guess what! It doesn't have to just be from gender! You can have dysphoria from not being mechanical. I had dysphoria from not being digital and well. You know." She poked me in the data sense.
That one took some thought. Dysphoria from something that wasn't gender. Gender was like weird. Really weird. But it was more of an immutable variation on mental stuff. Being mechanical seemed different. Like at that point what other stuff could give dysphoria. "I feel like that undermines the validity of gender identity and transgender stuff." I got groaned at.
"Princess, you literally feel more comfortable as a robot." My girlfriend saw me open my mouth and cut me off. "The boob thing doesn't count, you can be a robot with big tits." She sighed. "Look, Aster, we're both trans and we both definitely know how that works. No one in the Compact is going to say we aren't women because we also identify as something other than human. If you are more comfy identifying as a robot and existing in a robot body, then you’re a robot. If you prefer the term cyborg or something else, you can have it. Just do what makes you happy, okay?"
Mistress patted my head. It felt different with Nora's shorter purple hair. I mean shoulder length wasn't short, but like I was going by aster standards. "My wonderful little pet, you are allowed to be whatever makes you happiest and I will do my best to make that a reality. Identity is more than just gender. There are innumerable sophonts across the Compact being their best selves. Sometimes that means being something wholly different than they came into being appearing as. That is valid, and it's valid for you too."
I looked down. They were both so supportive. Stars, the entire Compact was like this. Truly nothing compared to the sinister machinations of the affini. Bunch of supportive dorks letting sophonts be and identify as whatever they want.
"Do other sophonts in the compact really identify as other species and objects and stuff?"
Mistress Digitalis ruffled her leaves in a giggle. "They do, flower. You should see the core worlds. The sheer diversity among sophonts there sometimes leaves me speechless. If only terran space had an autonomous ship I could introduce you to. We might not be near the core worlds, but this is still the Compact. The Accord stifled free expression and identification. We don't."
Gah!!!! This was all so confusing and weird and-and affini were so unfair. Sophont spaceships were just… bleh. I leaned against Mistress. Her vines pet me and I watched my pinnate similarly slump onto our owner. We cuddled our owner in each other's bodies…
"I wish I had you two with me when I was figuring my gender out. You both make everything seem simple and easy." Those were not fun times.
Digitalis gave me a reassuring squeeze. "We are here now, and we always will be. You are mine forever, little flower. Nothing can take you from me. Nothing." My mind refused to gainsay her words spoken in absolute certainty. I was hers. I always would be.
In true aster fashion, I deflected the entire whole, think about my identity through a new scary lens thing, and asked. "So uh, you mentioned replacing parts? Including the implant… are you continuing the overgrowth?"
"Okay. Uh… if you were replacing bits of me, why did you spend so long doing it?" More questions. I had questions that didn't have anything to do with identity at all! Yup this was definitely not about that. I, Aster Lutea, Second floret, a master of not thinking about stuff, was definitely not utilizing my talents in any way. Nope.
"Little flower, some things take time and care. I am a technical specialist, not a medical professional, nor a mental health professional. That's not to say I haven't researched those fields of study, especially since taking you on as my pet. It's important to take your mental changes slowly to preserve the wonderful sophont I fell in love with."
That made sense. I think. Highbrow philosophical stuff wasn't very aster, and I trusted Mistress. If I needed to change then I'd be happy for her to make the changes. I was hers so fully and completely it'd terrify any previous iteration of me. Well maybe the me crying on the bed wouldn't care. I was pretty desperate for any sense of not being alone at the time, I might have overlooked the whole being controlled bit. Wait… That was actually how Mistress got me to sign the documents the first time. I literally was so lonely I didn't care or something. Also xenodrugs were involved, but they just made me more honest.
I hummed in thought, more questions. "Why didn't you fix my non-verbal thing? Or my social obliviousness?"
Mistress forced me to look up at her. The expression was the most serious thing I'd ever seen. "Aster, your neurodivergence does not make you broken and there is nothing about it to fix. For all your issues, both physical and mental, being autistic is not one. aster is autistic and she's a good girl. aster is autistic and that's valid and cute~"
"aster is autistic and she's a good girl. aster is autistic and that's valid and cute~" Huh, I was autistic that was valid and cute… What was I thinking about? There was a tiny hole in my accessible memory. We were talking about autism because I was deflecting from thinking specific deep thinks. Right. Hmm.
Nora poked me in the cheek. "Princess, any thoughts on the whole robot thing?" Gah!!!! She was trying to make me face my issues instead of repress them. My girlfriend was as bad as Cyathea. Worse even, because Cyathea dropped it after a while. The maid wasn't going to let this go, I could tell.
"It's a lot… I don't know how to think of myself as one…" That felt familiar. I swear I had thought that before. Unfortunately that memory wasn't in my new upgraded and detailed memory set so it took me a bit. But I did figure it out. "Oh wow, this is just like when I transitioned and had trouble seeing myself as a girl. This really is a lot like gender stuff."
The glowing vampiress giggled at me. "Yeah, turns out identity is complicated and stuff. Luckily being trans taught us how to handle it, right?"
"Princess that didn't sound very convincing." Nora was too perceptive, even with my poor eyesight. I mean, she was wearing my glasses to fix that but still, too perceptive. "Princess?"
Ugh… "I uh, maybe just threw myself into work and hacking and games and never went outside and just did my best to not think about existing. A few years on hormones plus a name change happened and then the next thing I knew Cyathea broke my door down and started calling me good girl…"
Mistress gave me head pats. "And what a very good girl you are~" I melted in a cybernetic maid body against my owner. I was a good girl. aster is a good girl and good girls submit~ I didn't even notice as Mistress swapped me back into my normal body. Good girls didn't worry about that. Good girls submit.
Gentle vines shifted my position and tilted my head to stare right into Mistress's eyes. "Do you want to be my little machine~?"
"Yes Mistress." The words slipped out but I didn't pay them any mind. Mistress's eyes drilled down deep and held me hostage. She was sooo pretty. I could stare at her for an eternity. Digi was the most perfect entity in the cosmos and I loved her so so so much.
"Now my little machine, tell me how it feels to be back in your body after trying little Nora's."
Mistress was so pretty. Her eyes kept rippling in color, that pattern was there. I was drowning in it. "I-It feels weird… things are missing. Things are there that shouldn't be. I missed my fangs and curves and hair, but my body feels uncomfortable. Incomplete. It's wrong, parts are wrong…"
Her vines entangled my limp form further and further. I was engulfed until all that was left was my mouth for breathing and my eyes for staring into hers. Warmth came from within and without. "Shhh, It's okay little one. I'll fix this too. Just relax. Drift down. Sink deep~"