THUMP!

With a heavy grunt, Helena lifted her ten-pound biochemistry textbook out of her backpack and onto the desk. She heaved it open to page 281, her eyes almost instinctively glazing over as soon as they looked upon some sort of ΔG positive negative nonsense. It was probably important, but every time she’d tried to make sense of it in the past week, her skull felt like a brick wall that no new information could enter. But the final exam was just around the corner in the first week of December, so there was no time to waste.

She sighed, took a sip of water, and put in her earbuds. Lofi Lady had been her go-to music these days. She couldn’t listen to anything with lyrics when she tried to study. Her brain would get its signals crossed, as she learned when she nearly turned in a problem set labeled “Metallica” instead of “metabolism.” Lofi Lady was just right. No advertisements, no words, no startling shifts that would snap her out of the zone.

She spread out a piece of paper for notes and began jotting down words from the textbook. Glycolysis… Gibbs Free Energy… ugh. She recognized all these terms, but hell if she could remember what they meant. That exam looked even more dire by the minute.

Her eyes wandered to her laptop, still playing the same looping animation of an anime Lady… er, lady studying. Idly, she glanced over at the chat, watching the periodic messages scroll by. Some fellow scholars mentioning what they were studying, some messages in other languages she didn’t understand, some bot telling everyone to repent and devote their souls to Jesus Christ. The usual.

Then, one message stood out.

Hugh Mann: this might be the sleep loss talking, but do u guys think Lofi Lady is hot?

And Helena realized that… yeah. Lofi Lady was hot. Which was a weird thought, considering Lofi Lady was a cartoon who always wore a loose sweater. But something about the La- no, lady on the screen got her worked up.

Annie Lytics: totally, i say that to my friends all the time

Hugh Mann: so it’s not just me!

Max Emum: i didn’t really get it until i started listening

Max Emum: but now i’m all about Music Mommy

Hugh Mann: lol

Helena’s fingers started to move on their own.

Helena Anabel: count me as another Music Mommy lover

team raptor: does anyone wanna play halo

Annie Lytics: one of us! one of us!

Fabian Wagner: ich liebe Musik Mama! grüße aus deutschland

Helena felt a warm comfort. No, she wasn’t alone. There were folks all over the world who felt the same way about the calming Lady on the screen. She blushed.

Helena Anabel: i’d study with her all night if you know what i mean

team raptor: wtf are you all talking about she’s just some anime chick

Hugh Mann: how dare you, she’s a Lady

Annie Lytics: yeah, show some respect to Music Mommy

god’s disciple: REPENT, SINNERS, THE TIME OF JUDGMENT IS NIGH. ABANDON THE FALSE PROPHET OF NEOLIBERALISM AND DEVOTE YOURSELF TO THE TRUE WAY

Max Emum: lmao

Max Emum: can someone kick god’s disciple btw

Helena smiled, feeling the brick wall around her brain crumble. She listened as she studied. She chatted as she listened. She masturbated as she chatted. She obeyed as she masturbated. She came as she obeyed. She felt united with her fellow listeners as she came.

And when the time came, she aced the exam. Music Mommy takes good care of her listeners.