Prologue: Brood Awakening

Congregations of dead grass in the dilapidated site of worship become a conflagration, fire spreading over rows and rose of pews lining the fractured mind of someone precious. A rose for a pew, though we'll save the red for you, Brie. Yours could never be yellow, nor white, in this place made from memory and deconstructed emotion. Perhaps purple, once upon a time, when you first laid eyes upon a woman who had been marked for the hunt. A woman you sorely underestimated despite knowing well the potential held behind that hazel glare. Bound in vine and told never to return, you could have sworn she held purple rose, tucked behind her ear alongside strawberry rivers you could and would get lost in. 

The garden burns, but you know well from Nova's gloating that it will survive this immolation. Fractionating flora reduced to black while your thoughts are on Black. You're not a gambling woman, Brie, and you'd rather place your faith in red if you still have the power to make your own damn choice. The girl in red, you'd been forced to lose all hope in her twice now, but then, you had a choice both times. Nicole Black is a shrewd woman, but she has overestimated your resolve in agreeing to her project. You're not smart enough for sabotage of the intentional variety, premeditated action is for those with much better impulse control and a head for plotting. Simpler than all of that, even knowing you'd be perfect strangers in reunion, you wanted to see her again and see the colour of her rose in reflection. Simpler still, you signed of spite, wanting to get even and be the one to drive that knife this time. This time...

Piano plays you both out, blissfully ignorant to the encore waiting in rafters, demanding the wheel turn indefinitely until eventually that rate reaches one hundred. Are you content in this, Brie? To save the world at any and all costs, even should it kill the only kindness you've ever known? Then again, it's what your owner wants. Your Handler. A woman you'd have gladly killed for, died for, by the end, so doped up on her drugs and her bullshit that the only colour of rose you could see in her presence was Black. Mourning independence, pride, regret and of course, love. 

Hers is not a gentle love, and yet it is as brittle as they come. Given more time you'd have softened yourself further to better nurture that fragile affection she only shows you when you're pleasing her. A well behaved dog beheading its allegiances in a fine row. Rose wilting, hope dwindling. Brie ending. 

A garden burns, smoke rising in a thick smog from dry grass and dead roses. You look for that little girl but cannot find her, wondering if she ever even existed in the first place. Was she Joy's innocence, perhaps? A white rose plucked and torn, that girl you nicknamed 'Flower' in a house much like this one. Her failing memory couldn't even map out an exact copy, making that pit in your stomach grow into a black hole eclipsing the light of Hope you saw in this place's mere existence. A stellar remnant, just as you became in Handler's grip. Are you happy to keep playing her game, Brie? Content to continue contributing to her theatre?

That woman stole your girl, going so far as to poach pet name and claim it her own, a twisted act she need not have taken were she really such a benevolent saviour. That woman stole your dignity, reduced you to willing pet too tired and tempted to try and resist her manipulations. That woman took advantage of this world to satisfy her own desires, how can you be sure any trace of her humanity even survived that accident out in space? How can you be sure that it's not a cosmic horror from the void wearing woman's flesh? An interstellar crow, descending to hover above this world. 

Are you going to be her bitch, Brie? A Hellhound who barks for its master, calls her 'Sir' when speech is afforded to it, laps at moist folds that run slick at the rush of breaking all those she sets her sights on? A truly pathetic beast who forgot what she lost, who gained a piece of it back only to further debase the memories they once held dear. You have an obligation, woman, regardless of whether you recall making the promise or not. 

"I'll always be around to keep an eye on you, flower, you ain't getting rid of me anytime soon."

I take some responsibility for the fact that you could not bring yourself to keep delivering on this promise for very long, and so I took the liberty of filling your shoes for a time. Cyclops in a tower, watching over the madness of the world she had a large hand in making. Bring her to me, Brie, if you should wake with any memory intact of this frail voice inside your head. Bring her to me and I shall reconsider the passive acceptance we've all swallowed down like bitter pills until witnessing just how far that woman is willing to sink to appease her designs. Temptation is a drug, Brie, as a former addict I can sympathise with that conflict in your chest, feel it my own. Temptation is a crow, ever cawing, circling above your head to herald change that thieves like us just can't help be baited by. I've come to find that not all instances of that drug called temptation are so damaging and detestable. Well used, directed, nurtured... temptation can be such a wonderful thing. A lover's lips that glow just for you, beckoning siren gloss that has your vision narrowing. A call to action and adventure, motivating you to leave well burrowed comfort zones in search for higher pleasures. A path to unification, one for all, blossoming society built by bricks of temptation. And so, I beckon you. Should you be tempted, Brie...

I ask that you return Joy Williams to my garden of crows. 

Chapter One: Severed Fate, Sheltered Hate

My eyes fall upon a ceiling distantly familiar to me, a room I had woken up in before, in another life. One of many, I suppose, blinking away the sleep in my eyes as I sit up and adjust to a world of vision. Having eyesight returned to me is as much a shock as waking up in this bed, my lips a bitter curl as fingers dig into the sheets and pull them over me. For whatever reason, I've flashed back to a different point this time, huddling up in a bed I never wish to leave. This is becoming so burdensome, and yet... I feel compelled to exit stage right and return to Handler's side, pledge myself to her without any resistance this time. It's oh so tempting, a circling crow, but at the very same time I want nothing more than to make her pay. It brings me back to that decisive moment in which, despite adoring her as much as I did under the influence of those dark feathered wings, I made the decision to turn on my Miss Murmur.

Misty Black is nothing in the face of her wife, however, and a part of me feels that any attempt to turn tables on Nova would only result in further hardship. It would be so much easier just to accept that reaching black hand and serve her, forever, for whatever purpose she'd use me for. Is this a part of her plan, too? Leaving this bed feels so dangerous and scary, I'd much rather sleep. Then that feeling betrays me, compels me to push the sheet back and plant my feet onto the lush carpet below. That feeling, distant and sharp, yet unbearably soft against my shoulder. Brie was so rough with me, I've many memories of her punishments as our commander pushed her deeper into that feral headspace. A paddle against my rear as she bent me over her knee. Gagging on fingers and strap, loving every second of it even as tears welled in my eyes behind the mask. Pulling hair, choking me, fucking me, clawing at my body with lust driven by ceaseless Supernova. 

And yet, her touch had always been so affectionate in its own malformed way. At the very end, when she was given back her memory, Brie's soft touch trembled against my well broken body. It almost felt like she really loved me, as silly as that sounds. I've never dated anyone before, my first proper date had been with Laura and I could hardly say the night ended in romantic spark given my corruptive assimilation. Was... was that even me? Are these memories mine, or simply ones I've borrowed from Envy? It's hard to say exactly where Joy ends and Envy begins, to discern which is the copy. When she broke me down I'd been trained to accept myself a fake, but with what little clarity I can muster in reiteration, I know it's not so straightforward. We're both the original and, when stacked against that girl who always tried her best to be a hero, we're both just fakes. Maybe that's why I feel more at home with the name Hope, even if I had feared it at first. 

My body moves on autopilot and between a yawn and a blink, I'm on my feet. Still, it feels so hopeless here. Did I flash back even earlier than before, when I was still presumed to be in a coma? My head is filled with memories of an unwound future, a vision that holds proof of just how willing I am to be freed this burden of humanity. It makes me feel a deep sense of self loathing to remember that rifle, a part of me agreeing with its perspective while the rest fears just how easily I can be convinced to abandon everything I tell myself is sacred. That's not me... I'm not like her, nor that knight. Or so I'd love to tell myself. The truth is that they're both more authentically me than this pretender stepping in front of a mirror I once shattered in a fit of violence. The mirror reflecting my true nature, a killer, a weapon, something to be used. If thinking for myself only has me torturing myself for every bad decision, every fall from grace, then it's no wonder why I'm so eager to escape from such a burden. 

With bleak expression, I lift my head to look upon this pathetic girl who'd so easily abandon all she stood for at the lick of a riding crop, the promise of orders. Heavenly, uncomplicated orders. You just have to do as you're told, forever, and nothing is ever your fault. It feels good to surrender to that ugly rhetoric, again and again. Just wipe me clean, god, and never dare to bring me back again.

"Did you just make a request of me, little crow?"

Ah, that's right... somewhere distant, in long forgotten orchard, lies the truth. It feels as though I've pleaded for this exact thing already, once before, so desperate was I to remain beneath the waves for good. A forever of trance, mindless high that had me meek, obedient and perfectly trained. I've had more owners than I know, more than makes sense. Hive was the first to lay claim, preying on my eagerness to impress the role models I'd idolised all my life, giving in to a crow of her own to make my body hers. Nova came next, though it was only an amuse-bouche of the woman's firm control. Next came Murmur, a sleepless crook who sought to corrupt me to her own ends, for something petty. I suppose you could say that Envy herself was next, that temptation taking hold as the myriad minds she claimed drove her deeper into corruption. Before Envy would get her hands on me again, fracture me into a pet and a knight in one, why does it feel as though I'm missing some? The truth feels so close I can almost touch it, but then... do I need the truth? Do I want the truth? Do... do I deserve it? Maybe being put in my place by a woman like Nicole Black, a personal hero of mine, is a good enough fate for a thing like me. Yeah... ehehe... yeah! If only I could stop returning from all my happy endings and let one stick. It's not fair... so what if I'm used as a tool for violence? It's cathartic to be the one breaking something else for a change, maybe that's why I broke this damned mirror in the world that never was.

I won't break it this time... I need this mirror. This reflection presents me as I am, an escape artist intent to flee her own thoughts. All I need do is... up the glow of these eyes, I'll burn myself out with the stare of submission until all that's left is a completely obedient creature void of want and guilt! I'll subjugate myself, again and again and again, until fate gets the fucking memo and lets me go. Until duty resigns, hangs itself a hero. I'll be better this way, more useful, it hardly matters so long as I just... 

Gold. A glowing gift of glistening glare, eyes sparkling so beautifully as I flood my mind with reflected desire. My shoulders slump, jaw slackens, no commander here to issue orders and no mind to stop the flow of gold. I'm hypnotising myself in the mirror, giving up entirely, eager to be found and claimed and used and loved and... 

The thoughts cease to flow, leaving a brainless welp falling into mirror, lost forever in halls of mirrors that refuse to reflect her back. Joy is a vampire feeding on herself, the cannibalistic act cannot be reflected by something so godless, like any good vampire she's spared. Spared from self-reflection, happily ignorant to the sins she's become accustomed to committing as she pushes all blame onto others. That's not how it started though, is it Joy?

I ignore that voice telling me to give up the glow, intensifying my stare to silence it as the mirror becomes the only thing left in this room. All else becomes too distant, so I am unable to even hear that creaking door, the manor's owner entering guest bedroom with a cocky grin. Her legs carry her over to me without the pretence of frailty she had put on in the past, Nova's arms sliding around me from behind as I slip into a golden coma for her. 

"There you are, awake at last and judging by the state I found you in... hmm, could this be stage four already? Listen Joy, Halcyon D--"

"So that's how you do it... how long have I had that trigger, hehe...  you used it before right? Made me forget about the details in my vision that would complicate my 'progress'. Made me think I could punch though reinforced plating without my Rook... that was mean." The glow weakens and I feel something welling up within me, a rebellion I didn't know still drew breath, especially in the face of her. Perhaps it's because I only see her in reflection, because she hasn't gotten around to spraying that perfume yet, but I'm able to see her with some clarity. This woman's no salvation, she's the one who wants me to keep flashing back, after all. Does that make even her an enemy to my subjugation? Just like Angel, who kept bringing me back up just to enjoy watching me fall again. They're all the same. 

"Oh? Well, you're rather bold for someone who just woke up from a long sleep. I just find people easier to interrogate in trance is all, get as many details as I'm able to. That you're aware of the Red Rook is a promising teaser. Why deny my trance, dear, were you not in the process of obliterating higher thought for me yourself before I rudely interrupted?" The woman's touch feels so strange to me here, bare fingers creeping down my front while more hold my face and tilt it back up to address reflected gaze. It's so naked, her touch, when I'm used to firm black leather vice. It feels different enough that mental association isn't quite as effective at breaking me, though my breathing does grow heavy. That husky voice is the same as ever, I hate to love it and love to hate it in my ear. A perfectly loathsome, addictive voice. Low and lightly fried, doused with just a touch of feminine wiles. Her voice is at its best when giving out orders, on that we can agree. 

Sighing out and leaning back into her touch, I'm once again reminded of the day we betrayed Murmur. Me, myself and Envy. Do I really have it in me to deny her after witnessing just how obsessed I became with her hold over me? Again... do I want to? If the answer is as clearly a no as these golden eyes tell me it is, then why do I keep returning to the question? A soreness against my cheek compels me to fight, not with my own resolve but hers. Brie struck me in that basement, hard enough to slap some sense into this pitiful spectre I've become. 

"We'll find a way to make it right, flower... but you have to try too." 

I raise my hand to stroke that phantom sting and Nicole possessively seizes my wrist, convinced I'm her weapon in the making, her strong touch feeling so good and yet, so hollow. As hollow as the empty bones of a Crow, pneumatic temptation with no wind left to carry it. Right now, it feels as though there's no air in this room at all, the two of us grounded from flight as her lofty sense of superiority is forced down to my level. The Rook, the state of the world, aren't the only things she'd have me forget all about with her handy post-hypnotic suggestion. I can't see into my orchard anymore, but now I know it's there...

"Mrs. Black... I get it now... I'm really not a hero, am I?" My voice comes out weak, that feeble tone a predator like her just can't help but find herself baited by. 

The grip around my body grows tighter, satisfaction on her tongue as it runs a predictable script I taste the temptation of even now. "That's right, flower, but it's okay. You don't need to be a hero to save the world, you just need to let a hero use you. I'll wield you, girl, for all that you're worth. Save you from these negative emotions that haunt you. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" 

I really, really would. But... I have to try. I understand how hard it must have been for Brie to force out those words while hooked on Nicole's power herself, such strong emotion overriding it, for a girl she shouldn't be so charmed by. 

"Yeah... you're a real hero... but... I don't want to be your weapon. Ehe... you're forgetting the thing every great superhero never has enough of!" My sudden enthusiasm gives the calm woman pause, Nova eyeing this reflected face suspiciously as she fails to remember the most important thing I've come to recall. In fact, she'd never be able to guess that it'd return to me, the trigger she couldn't help but use on Brie triggering me too. Unlike Brie, I didn't remember anything, but that solitary vine spilled out and told me that even if it's only the one... I have a root and a garden of my own. It makes sense now that I think about it, that Envy's split would not rob me of the power completely. After all, that Shepherd girl mentioned having her own orchard as well. We're allergic to the fuzz, so it's hard to say which is the most depressing between her peach orchard and my dead one. It's here that a thought occurs to me and I find myself wanting to scoff at such a delayed pyrrhic victory... if I can't access my orchard mentally, as I once could, then what happens if I trap somebody in there? Nova broke out of Envy's so easily, overpowering her with gold, but what if there's nobody to receive such an attack in the first place? What if you're trapped in a purgatory with no master? 

"Oh? Enlighten me, I'd shut you up right now but... I'm curious what you think you have to say. What do all great superheroes never have enough of?" Nicole thinks she knows the answer and I'm sure she does, but how is she expected to react to an attack that has already long hit its mark? I'm afraid, Lady Nova, that this battle has already been decided. Pleasure playing the game with you.

"Supervillains." Before she can get the last word in, I unceremoniously rip this wretched woman's consciousness from her physical form with that vine curled around her calf, pulling her into my orchard in a nostalgic act. It feels like an eternity ago that I subdued a foe in this manner, sighing out and fogging up the mirror ahead as Nova's empty face drops onto my shoulder. 

And just like that, with a whimper of anticlimactic yet cathartic air... I defeat the greatest superhero in the world. With her threat subdued, or so I hope, I let the most insecure and nerve-wracking thought possible fill this fragmented head of mine. 

Surely nothing can go wrong now.

Chapter Two: Our Restitution

I've been standing with a dumb look reflected by the unforgiving mirror before me for almost twenty minutes now. I'd love to say that I've been thinking, and believe me I've been trying to, but it would seem that any semblance of productive contemplation is content to elude me on this fine morning. The future is an ever present stranger, waving me along with a gleeful smile on its face and a dagger held firm behind its back. It would do me well to arm myself, ready for that inevitable driving lunge that should seek to undo the small victory I've clawed for myself here. A modicum of long lost dignity clawed back with tooth and nail and vine. 

Oh who am I kidding? This is no small victory! I bested Lady Nova herself, ahaha, it's hard not to develop an inflated ego over the matter and join my other self in destructive power trip. Sure... it was a cheap trick that won me the day, but I do not think that honourable strategy is something a dishonourable pretender like Nicole black deserves. If I'm to be blunt, I know all too well by now that she is no hero, that the golden era died by her hand as she commercialised the good deeds of those greats before her. Nova placed a cage around the very concept of heroism, refused to allow our good intentions to serve anything but her own agenda. As Commander Black, my 'Handler' as she would put it, the woman made no attempt to instil worship into my brain. Instead of manipulating my vulnerable mind into seeing her ill deeds as heroic acts, as Miss Murmur once had, Nova revelled in watching me accept just how deplorable we both were. Even now, a part of me can't deny that I feel tainted, ignoring the temptation to free her from that dead grove. If it were not for Brie's sting against my cheek, I'd probably be resubmitting myself to her right now, kneeling obediently as I beg for her to remove responsibility from my life with surgical precision. To take my eyes and trust only in her far superior vision of the world.

Just who is she to me, anyway? Brie, I mean, I don't even want to try and consider what Mrs. Black is to me at this present moment besides my prisoner. We first met when I was yet part of Envy, and she in a body she seemed far less at home with. The next time I recall our paths crossing is when her fingers sunk into my hair in this very manor's foyer. Now I see why Nova robbed my sight as her first act of control, or no, that was already several acts deep when I consider the manipulation leading up to it. Still, she seemed intent to prevent me from seeing this world as it truly is, though without her trigger to edit my memory I'm now left wondering about that... more specifically...

Why the fuck have I been piloting a giant robot... thing? While I wish I could probe Nova herself for answers, I'm unable to even look into my orchard right now. It's for the best, of course, but I won't pretend I'm not nail-bitingly nervous at the prospect of that woman wandering around some deep, cordoned off recess of my mind unsupervised. In any other circumstances it'd be a funny visual to muse on, but she terrifies me more than anyone. Given the opportunity to do so, Nova can so easily reduce me to the very worst aspects of myself and nothing more. I'm beating myself up over how detestable that rifle became but really, everyone is possessed of negative qualities like those right? Robbed of autonomy and the permission to be decent, most would be right there with me in the dirt... or so I have to tell myself to feel a person again. 

Back onto the part about giant robots... oh! Laura would pout at me if I called them that, since they require a pilot or uh, something. Once, she had convinced me to watch an animated 'mecha' feature playing at our student's union tricking me into thinking it was a new film and not some restored cartoon from the nineties. It wasn't bad, but I was mostly happy to make Laura happy, the way she clung to my arm as a pilot's craft was torn to pieces with an inexplicable amount of blood spurting from the mech itself makes me wonder in retrospect if she had been hoping for the night to spur romantic. Why am I suddenly thinking about that? Gee, it's like there's a subroutine in my brain that continuously redirects my thoughts away from the big red elephant in the room. It was the same with Envy, Nicole just made me forget... I didn't just become her knight, but her pilot. And those soldiers I remember tearing through the front lines of... they were really--

CRASH!

I'm shaken from my thoughts, and my captive, by a sudden loud noise coming from the foyer. My eyes shoot wide open as I watch my vine retract from the sudden stumble into mirror, turning to inspect Nova's blank expression as she stands there in a severed slump. Waving my hand in front of her face a few times, I sigh in relief at the fact that I didn't accidentally just return that mass of ego to the cockpit in her head. Looks like her id is home, but the rest is safely locked away within rows of pews and weeds. The only memories I have of my own secret garden were the ones I'd siphoned from Brie during our short-lived connection, strangely enough, and I can't help but wonder what the hell a church of all things is doing in that mess of mental construction. Satisfied that my Nova doll isn't about to spring to life and return me to that ceaseless wheel I've been bound to for what feels like decades, I timidly approach the guest room door and wrap trembling fingers around the handle. I'm not entirely sure what scares me more, the source of that deafening crash from downstairs or turning my back to Nicole Black and trusting that she isn't home right now. 

Throwing caution to the wind and remembering that at the end of the day, I'm much physically stronger than I appear, I push into the manor's upstairs hallway and head to the central staircase with hurried steps. A warm rush of air hits my flush cheeks and I stare out at open doors, an entrance broken through brute strength alone. What of the snipers positioned outside when I relapsed as Envy's knight in my vision? Were they on break or... has this assailant already dealt with them before making their way to the house itself? Wondering just how such a unique event could be playing out when my future memories hold no recollection of such a break in, I'm met with an answer swiftly as I lock eyes with a woman storming out of kitchen with fiery purpose in her expression. 

"B-Brie?" My heart begins to thump at the very sight of her, remembering all those times she used me and all the times she didn't, too. The way that, before Nova's games, Brie expressed interest in breaking that inescapable wheel. Even after all we went through together as Handler's broken pets, I can't deny that Brie knew her way around my body, knew just how to make me feel good. Dressed up under the guise of 'using me' or 'punishing me', the woman was just as good a service top as ever. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The woman stops her grunting search through the manor and gives weak, bashful smile at the sight of me. Fingers covered in metal rings sweep through that dark red wolf cut of hers and she cocks her head, eyeing me up like she's not sure how to talk to me anymore. "Hey there, Flower. I uh... I think Envy asked me to come get you? But I mean, if you don't wanna come with I'm not gonna force y--"

"And what was your plan for dealing with Nova? God... you're as reckless as ever, think before you act!" I descend the steps with a slight smile despite my reprimanding words, wanting to be close to her despite everything. In a way, what a joyless woman like Nicole Black saw as driving a wedge between us only made me more desperate for that touch, a more genuine version of it perhaps. It suddenly dawns on me that Brie might not feel the same as she flinches at my approach, averting her eyes with a shyness that doesn't suit her.

"I ah... heh. I took out the guards outside but couldn't think of a good strategy for blondie 'sides rushing in and nabbing you. Y'know I'm fast right? Strong, sure, but speed was my whole thing when I still called myself a hero. It's why I named myself after a racehorse, least... I thought I did." The tall butch grins to herself sheepishly but I'm too busy stealing glances at those exposed abs you could dice meat on, wanting to place my hands on her while wondering how I ever convinced anybody, least of all myself, that I was straight. "God damn it... you're right, I always just rush in without thinking... y-you'd think I'd have learned my lesson after what happened with--"

"Hey, uhm, it's okay." I instinctively reach out, I'm not sure why, and cradle her cheeks with my hands. She seems flustered, more so than I'd intended to make her, not in the fun way either. "You can calm down, okay? She's uh... not around right now and... wait, you can remember what happened?" Suddenly it all clicks into place, the reason why Brie is acting so skittish all of a sudden, second guessing herself so much. While it's true she needs to work on her recklessness, that her eyes won't meet my own is a problem in need of fixing fast. Seeing her like this pains my heart. 

Brie is visibly relieved after I tell her that Nova isn't around, a half-truth at best given how close she really is. "Y-Yeah... I was so off my head on that shit they were dosing me with and I stuck that vine of yours right in my neck like I had any clue what I was doing. Not my smartest move, I'll concede... if I hadn't done it I wouldn't remember shit right now huh? I'd be the same Brie I was before..."

Alright, this needs to stop. "You're the same Brie as always, to me, not that I got much of a chance to know who that is yet ehehe... don't give Nicole the satisfaction of convincing you her methods stuck, that she's changed you into something else. I'm... sort of an expert on this stuff at this point... the distance helps, knowing that none of that ever really happened even if it felt so real. You're just experiencing a shared vision of the future, Brie. Uhm... do you remember when we were first introduced here, in the foyer? Well I guess it didn't happen but you do remember, don't you?" I take a deep breath and curl fingers around the woman's wrist. It's strange to know I'm the stronger of the two of us, given the staunch difference in muscle mass. As Handler's rifle I was lean and built, that was probably the most positive change she could have given me though I'm not certain the gruelling regimen was worth it for pure aesthetics. I suppose it was more the discipline that she was trying to instil and I can't say that it wasn't effective, my posture in this iteration has changed considerably and, perhaps ironically, so has the ability to speak my mind. 

"Yeah, 'course... I was uh, messing with you even then huh? Look, I just can't help--"

"Tell you the truth, Brie? I loved it, that teasing touch in my hair wasn't asked for but it wasn't possessive and cruel like Nova's either. Your confidence was a little intimidating, and you tried a little too hard at first to hide your kindness alongside it. That demonstration you made to Nova about how easily I could be manipulated was more for my sake than yours, wasn't it? I should be annoyed at you trying to protect some stranger but..."

"Pshh... nah, I just wanted to mess with you a little." The woman's face is almost as dark a shade of red as her hair, Brie's stiffened posture relaxing some as she shrugs out of my touch and crosses her arms with a soft attempt at a smirk. "You're just too damn cute, you know that?"

"I'm beginning to realise that, yeah. It's that confident, overly brazen hothead that I want to see right now, Brie. So if you're feeling guilty over anything, not that I think you should, you can pay me back by indulging me with that." It's thanks to her that I managed to grasp any semblance of my own willpower, wrestling for control over my own future with a knight, a pet and a rifle all still fully intact somewhere in this fractured head of mine... so it seems only fitting that I be the one to return the favour. Brie's confidence is not going to magically return, I know this well because I'm going through the same thing, but doesn't that mean... and perhaps I'm being too optimistic here... doesn't that mean that we have the chance to support each other in finding it again? With Nova out of the picture, we might actually have a fucking chance. The first step, then, is remembering that it's okay to dream. 

"You strike a hard bargain for such a puppy, but I guess I can't say no to that can I?" Brie's fingers reach out and run through my hair, touch I didn't realise I'd been craving so much until it hits me like a fuzzy freight train hauling blissful tingles from end to end. My submissive tendencies have only gotten stronger, at times like this I don't even seem to mind, perhaps with someone safe that I can trust... I could work through these feelings I've been left with. That need to lose all will and responsibility will only cause further destruction if I continue to demonise it for its origin, maybe in a contained environment I could indulge, if only for a time. It's that forever that scares me, a tempting oblivion that calls you into the void. Like standing on the edge of a cliff and suddenly having the urge to jump, abyssal attraction from some primordial source we can't quite pin down. Someone strong like Brie could be a safety harness of sorts, though I wouldn't seek to use her without the exchange being mutual. First, she needs to find the rest of that strength, lest the whole thing tear at the end of our freefall.

"You can say no to me, Brie, but I hope you don't. In fact... I'm confident you won't, but I'll try not to take advantage of that hehe. You're really hot to me, so I think maybe you should act like it... really lay on the charm like you did back then." It's like I'm wrapped up in the sudden flirtatious air, forgetting about Nova entirely for the first time in forever as I find comfort in this unlikely saviour. Did Envy really call her here? Why? Maybe that other me will have the answers to all these mounting questions of mine, or perhaps she simply awaits her next turn. 

Brie bites her lip expecting soreness, steps closer expecting to limp. In the absence of these expected sensations, Brie scrunches her eyes closed and then blinks them open with a burning gaze that finally meets my own, her lightly calloused fingers grasping my soft chin. "Oh yeah? Why don't you test it out then, Flower? You can go ahead and tell me to kiss you and... aha... I'll probably oblige. Y'know, if I feel like it."

If I'm a fool to dream, then I'll be locking lips with foolish peer, the both of us giddy and glad to be sharing a breather as we Hope to rob each other's breath. My heart beating so fast it could break, I wrap arms around the taller woman's neck and smile up at her with Hope restored. "Then kiss me, idiot." Like we've done it a thousand times before. 

Without skipping a beat, Brie takes firmer hold of my chin and presses hungry lips against mine, giving me the most indecent kiss of my life as a free woman. Once we start, it becomes hard to stop, Brie pushing me back as our tongues vie for control in playful competition. I trip back over the stairs and the hunk of a woman collapses over me with a laugh I can't help but mimic, hands roaming each other's bodies like we're catching up on lost time even if the majority of our most recent memories involve the two of us fucking long into early morning. It was so one sided with that Hellhound, just the way the rifle was made to like it, but here with Brie... well, it's not much different but at least I get to drink in the fucking sight of her!

And what a sight it is, the eager butch pulling back to catch her breath as one of my breasts is used to support her weight, her other arm carefully cradling my back to ensure it's not too uncomfortable against the stairs. I can endure discomfort well enough, but just knowing that she cares has me easier than ever. We were just meant to kiss, hell I thought it'd be sweet, but I'm starting to get the impression that the two of together aren't remotely sweet... and better off for it. 

"You're something else... if my dumb ass can help you restore some agency and feel this good doing it... fuck, we must be made for each other." The words escape Brie's lips so easily it scares me, the two of us sitting on the stairs with our bodies kissing at the sides as we just barely managed to keep from going all the way on Nova's staircase. "Uh... shit that was a weird thing to say, sorr--"

Like a teacher sternly lecturing a pupil, I click my tongue and shake my head dismissively. I then proceed to drop my head onto her shoulder, a place I'd be liable to spend all my time on if I could get away with it. "Confidence, 'member? I like hearing stuff like that, I think any girl in their right mind would. I'm... not entirely in my right mind, but that just makes me even more grateful to have someone treat me like a person. Not just any person either, but one you feel the compulsion to throw sappy sentiments at, bordering romantic. My last date was a fucking mess, Brie, so promise to take me somewhere nice if we've any will of our own left after seeing Envy. 'Kay?" 

"We're going to go visit her, then? It's your choice, I'm just the messenger and I guess uh, chaperone. I'm not entirely sure where we are though, so I'm a pretty shit guide. Saige was kind enough to direct me here but she's not on hand now. Said if Envy's will has changed she needs to go back, was kind of blowing me off she was in such a rush... no idea about the others, we were on some campsite and I don't remember how I got there for the life of me." Brie stops talking and glances down at my face nuzzling her shoulder, playing my recent words in her head and realising none of what she's talking about matters right now. "I uh... Envy referred to you as my 'girl', which sounds like something I'd say. I wish I still had the memory Handler... fuck I mean, that the cunt herself returned to me while I was high on her supply. Like... someone I didn't even know called me uh, Captain Williams. I-Isn't that funny?"

Huh. It's not funny, per se, but it definitely has me smiling at the thought. Holding onto Brie's right arm, I can't help but tease her, if only to mask just how startled I am myself by such an oddity. "Well... it has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Maybe a bit fast though, ehehe..." Oh god I'm a blushing mess, using the breadth of her shoulder to hide just how red I am as I let that name run through my mind a second time. Oh that's right, Commander Black called her 'Williams' too, back when we were attempting to escape. I just assumed she must have been addressing me but I know better than to think she'd refer to her rifle with a human name. It... would be really awkward if we discover we're actually related. Somehow I don't think that's it, Brie's next confession making me even more sure and, somewhat paradoxically, even more confused.

"Oh! Shit, speaking of rings." Brie removes her fingers from my hair and I giggle at the fact I had forgotten they were there, her hand moving in front of us as she holds it up for inspection. Were we speaking of rings? "This gold one we got rid of... Envy totally freaked the hell out over it, made me give up the location of it and your lil' dove. I uh... one last thing to sorta tie this together, and this is the big one. I've been debating showing you this but it's been weird stewing on it alone... so maybe with you, I don't have to?" 

It's like she's asking for permission to turn my world upside down, and given the world I currently find myself in I'm not opposed in the slightest. "Go ahead hehe, do your worst. Can't get any stranger than what we've already shared just now, right? Almost makes it seem like me and you were--"

"Hold that thought, Flower, and feast your eyes on this..." With her nerves returning, making me hold onto her a little tighter to try and fight them off, Brie reaches into her jacket and pulls out her wallet. The worn leather artifact is bursting at the seams, crammed with more junk than I could ever think to stuff into my purse, Brie throwing it open and rooting through the scraps inside tenderly. After a few seconds, making me think she intentionally buried whatever it is she's searching for whenever she first discovered it, Brie removes a photograph from her wallet and pinches the corner tight between her fingers. "Actually... you sure you wanna see? This is... I mean, this is nice and I don't wanna freak you out and... stuff." 

"And leave you all freaked out on your own? Hardly seems fair. C'mon, lay it on me, I'm a big girl contrary to popular belief and uh... my recent track record." My eyes are fixed onto the back of the photograph Brie holds at an arm's length, her cocky smile slowly returning even if she's still unsure of herself. I live to see that arrogance again, as much as I probably shouldn't encourage such things. People are best with a few faults, being human is never quite perfecting yourself right? 

"Fine, you're surprisingly hard to say no to, guess you were right earlier. It... it could be something Nova faked to try and fuck with us, I mean it has to be fake right?" Slowly, Brie brings her hand closer and flips the photograph, showing me something I'd have never expected in a thousand years. Maybe you did, given all the hints, but I'm completely blindsided. 

"That's... wow, that's us right? I-I mean, that's obviously you but... is that me?" I can't help but grab the photo, Brie startled by my swift nabbing and giving me the best smirk she can muster with so many butterflies occupying her toned stomach. 

Brie laughs. "Well no duh... hair looks good shaved at the sides and coloured like that, and in a suit too... even like this you're somehow cute as all hell. Real duo of dykes, I... I don't know what to make of this, to be honest. It's obviously not real but..."

"A part of you wishes it were? Always thought I'd wear a dress, guess the fictional you really rubbed off on this imagined me. I've... never really been very confident in my style or looks, just went with the wind I suppose. My agency made me that crappy costume and that became my brand. Murmur offered me an alternate fashion sense and I latched onto it immediately. I guess it could be the same here but, fuck, look how happy I am hehe." The photograph in my hand depicts myself and Brie dressed in tuxedo suits, arms around each other's waists as we smile for the photograph with champagne flutes occupying free hands. A ring can be seen on Brie's left hand as she holds up her glass, while mine is hidden around her waist. My left hand, I mean... not a ring. Why would there be a ring? What the fuck is this? Who... Who even am I? The girl in the picture if a pure work of fiction, streaks of red and yellow highlights in that strawberry blonde undercut make a blaze of denial and, worse still, burning desire. I'm jealous of the Joy in this image, unbearably so, wanting to tear the smile directly from her face and make it my own. 

"Maybe... just maybe... it could be?" Brie leans close and delicately holds the golden dove hanging from my neck, the one she said Envy made a curious effort to retrieve. Where does my other self fit into all of this, anyway? "Let's just... lay out everything we know and figure out where the hell to go from here okay? That way at least the two of us are on the same page, even if it feels like we just tore it from the middle of a fucking novel." The woman I'm starting to think I may have a crush on gives her most confident smile yet, one I simply can't deny the charm of.

"Okay. I like that plan, let's relocate to somewhere more--"

I'm cut off by the sound of shuffling feet at the top of the staircase, my heart near stopping as I consider the only person whose sluggish steps they could possibly be. Brie is the first to turn as she's alerted to the presence by a less than heroic groan. I forget that Brie hasn't the heightened sense to hear such slow steps on carpet, and still she reacted first. The way her face turns white as a sheet makes me wish I'd at least attempted to tie the woman up for what little it's worth. My mind defaults to resignation almost instantly, photograph slipping from my fingers as I await those lecturing words that have me spiralling into rigid relapse. I know I can't deny her on an even keel, and there's a very good chance that Brie can't either. Even if either or both of us should find that impossible will to resist, we could not beat her in a physical confrontation. Best to flee, it's our only real option... and yet, we're both helplessly paralysed by mere presence. And what a commanding presence Nicole Black has, a black hole of confidence without parallel, a--

"Uhm... Joy... what's wrong with her?" Huh? 

I swallow my fear and follow Brie's gaze, staring upon a shambling wreck of a woman who appears as though she's about to fall down the stairs in her confusion. "Oh! I uh... I mean... I resisted her and... well, yeah."

"And what? Did you like, lobotomise her? Shit that's hardcore..." Brie isn't too far off the mark I suppose, though given what I thought I did I'm a little surprised and very nervous to see the insufferable blonde on her feet going walkabout. Any second now she could recompose herself and order us both onto her knees, and I'm not entirely sure we'd have enough shared willpower to refuse the direct order. Any moment now, this reaper of will could come and lay claim to lost and found. It's just a matter of time until she--

"Hnnng..."

...

...

...

Nicole Black, in all of her glory, proceeds to slip and fall down the stairs.

Chapter Three: Nova? I hardly know her.

"So uh... do you wanna address the elephant in the room, Flower? Thought you said Nova wasn't around." Sitting at Nicole Black's dining table, Brie rests an elbow on the slumped shoulder of the greatest superhero in the world and cocks her head against golden locks. The woman between us, in more ways than one, appears lost in a mental haze of my own making. Most of her is still trapped in that labyrinth of dead grass somewhere deep within me, but enough slipped through the cracks to form something akin to consciousness. A distant cousin, perhaps. 

"She's not... around... per se. Why are you so close to her anyway? You might catch something." I give Brie my best attempt at a sardonic grin but it's likely all too easy to see just how jealous I am, even if I stave off the usual pouty face. The part that scares me most is knowing that I'm not just jealous of Nova in this instance, but Brie too. I know that Nicole Black's affections are poison, a well tainted Black, but just as Brie appears to be... I cannot help but yearn for that which I've been trained to. 

The woman ahead of me at least has the good sense to pull away when I call her out, exhaling sharply over her shoulder and tightening fingers into fists over the tablecloth. "Damn, sorry... it's her scent, that perfume just drives me crazy."

"Huh? But... she wasn't wearing any earlier, when I uh... subdued her." With a hasty lean, I bring myself closer and foolishly breathe deep the scent of her, an arrow striking my heart as my eyelids flutter in rapid motion. It's so magnetic, the air she produces, a soporific cloud of pheromone rivalled only by Envy's own. Just one breath and I'm reminded of my place, instinctively bringing my arms behind my back as they find themselves bound tight by invisible rope. Discipline, restraint, acceptance... how badly I want her to snap awake and just order us both onto the ground where we belong. Maybe I could bring just a little more of her back to the surface and--

"Hey! Snap out of it, I held back so now it's your turn, 'kay? I don't want you going all rifle on me before we even leave the house, promise me you'll try and I'll spare you the barking in kind, haha..." Brie kicks away from the table and walks over to my side, planting herself back down and stroking my hair again, just the way I like. It's a more possessive touch than last time, but certainly not in a bad way. Her leash is a welcome one, a warm tether, isn't that what love is? N-Not to say that I'm in love with her or anything, I can't suddenly pretend to know that Joy from the photograph, but it at least convinces me that I could be. I'm not entirely sure that this world I exist in permits such romance, I'm not usually afforded the freedom to choose. A part of me has come to accept this as normal, then I remember how things used to be and I'm reminded of just how derailed I've become from that simple college life. Why don't I miss it? If anything, I miss my short time as an overlap with Envy the most, that taste of freedom even if it was just another set of shackles in disguise. 

"Heh... you got me. I sure did have a bratty mouth on me as her weapon, didn't I? It... really got you going, without fail, I could goad you into using me with just a few well placed words I couldn't imagine speaking with a straight face here and now." With a light sigh, I lean up into those fingers buried in my hair and gaze longingly at the woman I loathe. "We could take her as a pet."

Brie's fingers stiffen and she clears her throat, gauging just how serious of a statement that was. "Hey uh, you feeling okay?" 

"Think about it... she made us hers, right? It's only fair we get our turn and... well, we're both artificially infatuated with this woman as it stands already." Prying my eyes away from a very blissed out Mrs. Black, I turn to face Brie with a fiery glint in my eyes that reflects those in the photograph all too well. "Besides... I think I'm already drugging her subconsciously, I've truly taken after Envy except instead of Florasma's concoction I'm producing whatever it is you brought into my orchard in those final moments. I suppose you wouldn't recognise how similar she looks to how you had when you were all doped up on..."

"White Dwarf. It... was the sister drug to Handler's Supernova, almost its complete opposite though just as euphoric. You... you're making that shit inside of you, right now?" Brie's voice comes out brittle, the conversation bringing memories of her reduction to the forefront of her mind again. It was a brief window of time she spent as Nova's fully broken pet, one that would so eagerly lean into her touch while words eluded it. In that twilight, Brie felt enlightened, learning to love her owner implicitly like a simple puppy. It was terrifyingly freeing to no longer care about how far you've fallen, to smile without compromise. 

This time I'm the one to comfort her, a tether that runs both ways, reaching over and squeezing a hand that dwarves my own. "I'm not entirely sure how to control it anymore, hopefully Envy will know. Maybe she can tell me why I've only the one limp vine too, I can't sense the rest of my roots at all." 

"I'm sure whatever the deal is, this bitch is involved. Maybe we can question her, actually get some fucking answers for once?" Fired up, Brie slams her hands down onto the table and I do well not to flinch, seeing glimpses of Hellhound behind those indignant eyes. "Hey Nova, you in there? We got some questions for ya."

Looking at the blonde across from us as she is now, I'm not she even has the motor function to respond. At least her bulletproof body is keeping her safe from all the trips and falls she seems prone to, even if she probably does deserve the odd fracture. "Brie, remember when you tried to talk while under the effects of this drug. Now imagine you're also possessed of about three percent of your actual mind to begin with. I... I could probably try and bring more of her back, just enough that she can respond at the very least."

"Is that such a good idea? This goes for both of us, but our judgement is a tad compromised with this woman and ah... I wanna make sure the part of you still loyal to her doesn't sabotage what we've got going here y'know? Not to be accusatory, Flower, I'm just as fucking tempted. As much as I am pissed off, anyway." The unlikely angel on my shoulder imparts wisdom with her usual crass tone as I curl that single stray vine around my wrist and slide it through fingers. 

"It's okay, I can't look into my garden right now but I did see it through your eyes, felt it in that connection. It was a little different to my usual method... you ah, put it into your neck right? That's weird isn't it?" I feel like we're close to figuring something out here, though I'm not sure what exactly that could be. 

"Oh right." Brie reaches up to stroke fingers over the nape of her neck as realisation dawns. "I had to get some kind of procedure to interface with... damn we haven't talked about the mech shit yet huh? Anyway... it's gone now, turns out I performed a lot better with the manual controls in the end anyway, even better with Supernova flooding my body making me feel damn near invincible. Why would putting your vine into the port... do anything?"

"That's my point... it's weird, right? But it did, and Nova piloted one too right?" Pushing away from the table and standing up from my chair, I circle around to brush the hair on Nicole's neck to the side, confirming my suspicion. "If I plug myself in via this... I might gain more control."

"Yeah, or maybe she'd gain control over you. Is this really such a good idea?" Is this our first fight? With a placating smile thrown over Nova's shoulder, I tell Brie without the need for words that I've already made up my mind. If we don't do something now, we would either have to leave Nova here to fall back into military hands, or carry her the entire way to Envy's tower. 

Holding my vine in firm grasp, I push the end against Nova's neck. The tendril flattens against the comparatively cooler skin, opening up to slot into those curious ports in her neck as a jolt of electricity sparks between us with the connection made. Brie slides arms around my front down by my hips, the back of my own neck now smothered in lips that whisper softly. Softer than I knew her capable. 

"Please be careful, Flower, I sure hope you know what you're doing..."

Rows of dying grass are now forever preserved in gold from Midas rampage, Nova appearing to have fought hard from the moment I trapped her in this place. It's not a part she's used to playing, the sucker, but perhaps it's one she could excel at given time. I should heed Brie's warning and practice caution, unable to manifest myself in here even should I want to. That's good, it means Nova should be unaware of my presence here, unaware of just how easily she could turn the tables if she were privy to such valuable information. 

As much as I'd love to be able to question here, I'm not confident enough to talk to a version of Nova who knows just how desperate I am to be under her control. I can feel her ego laid out before me like an expensive platter, this connection formed by the port in her neck is on another level to just sapping somebody with my roots. Even without my powers of unification, I can feel her as though we are one, a thought I'd rather not entertain any further lest I feel my skin start to crawl. Nicole Black's entire history is laid out before me in fragments, like that shattered mirror I can only glimpse incomplete reflections of bygone eras in this woman's storied existence. Still, if I find an adequate cut off point I could choose to pull as much or as little as Mrs. Black back into that empty vessel and leave the rest safely stored away in mental prison. Even before Envy's rise to power, the orchard really is a terrifying power, it was ill suited for that naïve and innocent Joy who no longer exists. 

It's time to peer into the abyss, the life of a woman who sought to become the world. Chaos is a knife I intend to introduce to this woman's chronology, cleaving the sickness like I'm trimming fat. It's more than she deserves, but I'm no surgeon, so let us hope that fate yet favours the good commander. 

Chapter Four: Space Debris - Part One

"Will you not come?"

The four simple words rattle through Nicole Black's mind like hot oil on a stove kicking up to sting her. No, she will not. Riding out like Valkyries to meet annihilation head on is a tempting prospect for one with such a prideful soul, sure, but the blonde steeped in Black has her eyes set on a different goal. Her ego is not tamed, no, just redirected to something only she can endure. It's more satisfying that way, in the end, to be alone in your accomplishment. Envy's four words missed their mark entirely, the cyclops should have known that since losing their duel, she's nothing in Nova's eyes. That she hasn't healed tells the smug blonde that Envy must see it her way on this matter and agree Mrs. Black the superior leader. The word saviour feels lofty enough to suggest a dangerous supernova of ego reserved only for the lost, but what does that matter to Nicole when she knows this world itself is already lost. While those remnants attempt to save what's left, Nicole has her sights set on another world entirely, one that might actually be graced with the fruit of her hard labour. 

Nicole holds no pity for this world, the playset it represents having grown stale for her, but she does regret indulging that girl for as long as she had. Shepherd was determined to ride alongside her commander in that futile charge, she would have followed the woman to the ends of the Earth for reasons Nicole simultaneously finds self explanatory and utterly confounding. In the end, Nicole couldn't stand the sight of that deputy of hers, conjuring an easy excuse to be rid of her so as to dispel the last of that poison known as weakness from her blackened heart. Her heart is not allowed to grow fond, everybody in her presence is far too disposable to grow attachments to. Lucky that she cut it off before a visible scar could surface, she'll be better off seeing this world out with Envy besides. She'll be better off. She'll be home. She... 

Rifle's gaze mustn't ever reach her, Nova notes bitterly, those accursed eyes would only remind her of the way that silly girl would look at her. Nicole is well used to being admired, love from faceless masses she can gorge herself on until the sun itself grows cold. What she cannot handle, not since the change, is being seen. An actor wants you to only focus on the performance, not the person underneath. Nova could not risk Shepherd's wandering eyes, could tolerate that gaze no longer, lest she strip the performer bare and lay witness to the remains. 

The kid deserves better. 

Not there, that's far too late in her chronology, let's try further back, before I woke up. I'm... curious about these fragments, everyone is born human right? I remember one night, staying up late with Laura marathoning old movies and getting onto the topic of time travel. There's the classic trope of going back in time to murder an infamous dictator as an infant, or perhaps prevent them from being born entirely. I was far too soft back then, admittedly, the worst I'd ever experienced was a scrape on my knee and a few rude comments. So it was only natural that I wanted to offer a silly perspective on the matter, peace and love. I proposed an alternative plotline to Laura, who had assumed the conversation long dead already on account of the sudden lull. I asked her, what if you went back in time and made an effort to change the person, redirect that penchant for destruction and nurture them into someone more upstanding, moral. Of course, morals are subjective and often abused conceptually... but still, it was a cute thought right? I imagine the most evil figure you can think of would hate to be snuffed out in their early years, sure, but the further mockery of having them work against all their values from the prior timeline is almost way juicier, no? Laura didn't seem to think so, said it wouldn't sit right with her to redeem and accept someone so tainted, no matter how changed they are. It begs the question, doesn't it... where does sin begin? Is that baby in the cot guilty of its future evils? Is it right to punish somebody for something they have yet to do, even if you're certain they'll grow to do it? Is it fair? 

I just realised... I never talked about any of this with Laura, she'd never resort to ending a debate with lips like those. Then... who did I stay up so late into the night with, debating the ethics of time travel and tragedy? 

Oh well, it hardly matters right now. Let's peer at more of Nova's psyche, a veritable fucking minefield of thought as I'm sure you're aware. Just... stay close, okay?

So it's come to this? 

Nova beams with wide, bitter grin as she grips her Gala's controls with purpose. If the ungrateful whelp forgets who made her, she has no choice but to put the unruly plant in its place. This is to be a fair fight, so many armed spectators on hand that even Nova isn't confident she could take them all on alone. Least of all that Moth, the pilot of which having started this entire mess in the first place. For once in her life, Nicole decides to heed Misty's visions and this is where it lands her, in a one versus one battle for the fate of her entire kind. Envy has more supporters than her at this point, but that's hardly a fair metric when you consider how many of her fangirls are unified. Nova need only rely on herself, deciding to trust that Envy is naïve enough to honour the results of this battle even when the blonde has no intention of being such a good sport should Envy find herself the victor. 

Waiting patiently for her opponent to arrive, Nicole finds herself both relieved and disappointed when the craft she lays eyes upon is not Envy's new prototype, a machine that dwarves these mechs they currently occupy that Nova intends to sequester control of once she wins this impromptu clash. The Imperator Narcissus is by far the most impressive piece of work Mint has to her name yet, and it just so happens to be perfect for Nova's new project. The disagreement between her and Envy started out far more amicably and grew into a more serious split when she realised that sentimentality had the poor thing in a vice. Misty saw the end of the world as they know it and Envy's opinions on how to proceed felt like cowardice to the great Lady Nova. Of course, Nova's counterproposal had been flat out rejected by the majority of New Cassiepeia's resistance corps. They told her she was grasping at straws, but to her the logic is flawless and any argument to the contrary is further cowardice. Her plan requires sacrifice, something Envy wouldn't understand the first thing about. It also requires resignation, nobody could subscribe to Nova's path if they had even a shred of Hope remaining. And so, the divide grew into a deep fissure that cut this city into uneven halves. 

Time to face the music. Nova had been taken aback by Envy's acceptance when she proposed a duel to settle the matter, the victor granted control over this city's resources and the aid of all who serve to protect it. Perhaps The Garden's beloved Empress is simply too stressed to continue and sees this as an excuse to step down without appearing a coward, though if that's the case then Nicole feels guilty for how weak she intends to make the city's current queen appear. Were it not for Nova, her opponent would still be rotting away in a cell as the world of men used her name to incite fear and hatred. Nicole had to swallow her pride on that night, knowing that she no longer held quite as much sway as the captive villainess. This is how the woman repays her, Nicole supposes, that bitter grin setting on her face like cement. Envy took what belongs to her, and now she robs her vision of the future too? Well, she hopes Murmur is watching closely, so that she may see her precious 'Mother' for the frail weakling she truly is, has only ever been. And always will be.

"Well, aren't you a bundle of Joy this morning, ma'am. It's far too early for this, are you sure you don't want to just call it quits already? We trust in her and, to be frank, everyone who shares your opinion in the city is seen as part of an extremist movement... it's sowing discord, which was the last thing you ever wanted for this city. Control and order, wasn't it? Nic?" 

"Good morning, Hivemind. I plan on winning through manual control, but I went through the trouble of getting the procedure just so that I could interface with my old subordinate, and because soon enough you'll be under my command once more. I hope you remember how to behave for me, Hive?" Nicole Black feels the pulsing vine in the back of her neck and smirks once again at Envy's misguided sportsmanship, this only going to prove that the clueless dolt truly intends to respect the outcome of this match. Perhaps a part of her agrees with Nova's plan already and simply cannot bring herself to admit as much, the great hero muses gleefully. 

"We told you to call us Helena again... like you used to." 

"I'm nothing like I used to be, and neither are you." The Gala readies its long, spiked whip with hulking fingers that Nicole feels as her own. 

"We're not so sure about that, but you go off. This entire situation is madness, with everything going on we're really going to waste time fighting each other? A lot of people are hoping Envy puts you down like an old dog, but she's too kind for her own good. You're going to win this duel Nic... try to do so gracefully, or you'll only make more enemies. It'll be reluctant servitude that goes on to aid you, outside of your little fan club. Do you really believe in yourself enough for this, Nic? That this plan will actually amount to anything. If you've even a little doubt remaining then just trust in Empress En--"

With a tight circle of fingers, Nova pries the tendril from her neck and stares out over the horizon at her enemy. Destroy the enemy. It's all she's ever known. 

"I'm the only thing I've ever believed in, Helena."

I suppose this puts my concept of a fight into perspective when I joked about some friction with Brie... I wouldn't blame the woman for chewing me out over my recklessness, in fact I welcome it. Being told off like that by someone who cares about me and the consequences of my actions sounds like a blissful normalcy I've been starved of for oh so long! Still, this fragment isn't really what I wanted, it only confuses me further and it's definitely not a good point to cut her off. At some point before I woke up in Nova's manor, she and Envy duelled over a difference in opinion and the victor's plan would become the future I woke up into. The world this picture paints is so different to the one I knew, it makes me question the very first thing Nova told me: How long I was out for. Why have I been trusting information given to me by that notorious manipulator for so long to begin with? She sent me to that small island I used to go on school trips to north of the city telling me that it was New Cassiepeia itself, she lied about my powers, she lied about the Rook... I'm getting closer to the truth though, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Eager? Nervous? No, I'm downright fucking terrified. 

I should skip past this fragment and look at something much older... but I have to see the end of this duel, I have to know what became of Envy... this is my history too, in a roundabout sort of way.

An Empress falls.

The frame that Envy had prepared for this even duel no longer reacts to her intent, the heap of metal and organic matter collapsing down onto one knee as the Gala approaches with slow, gloating stride. The raven haired pilot, a leader who knows she loses more than just a single battle here, pushes her roots into the ground so as to ensure that Nova will not have the satisfaction of pushing her over. Envy refuses to be shown on her back, changing her goal from winning this duel to simply remaining upright until the very end. In a vain effort, Envy attempts one last ambushing strike with those vines protruding from the ground at the Black Gala's ankles. Nova shreds the tendril and Envy bites down on the strap of leather in her mouth. 

"Empress... please, you don't need to endure this. She'll win no matter what, and... we're worried you--"

"Helena, please. Because of my weakness on this day, that child of mine will suffer far more. This is the least I can do, my entire family is here and I won't have them see me fall. Think of it as penance, haha, for our early days. And... my heart breaks for Brie, would that I could've done more. Pain is nothing to me, so our Lady Nova will have her work cut out for her." Empress Envy Williams exhales a shaky breath that betrays her fraying nerves, running perfect hand through soft, dark hair and swallowing drily. Taking a moment to peer into her garden, Envy sees that the girl inside has barely moved an inch. Very soon, Envy will have to relinquish this weak thing to Nicole Black, the consequences of which will not be so simple a thing to track. Envy looks, tied back strawberry blonde hair and a disconnected expression that scares her more than malice ever could. Nova thinks this girl, Joy Williams, is the key to getting their kind out of this mess; Envy thinks the girl has been through enough already. Disagreements here rarely end amicably, and now the Empress finds herself staring down the end of a whip.

"We're not so sure that's her only method of humiliation, take it from us. Besides, we're all linked up right now and we can sense she has more in mind than simply hurting you. Unlike you, she's keeping her active consciousness at bay from prying eyes. Nic's experiencing your memory right now, so in a way this is self flagellation, we're surprised she can operate so efficiently with the view of two cockpits simultaneously. The woman's something else, huh?" Helena has a tendency to talk too much when she's nervous, Envy's rich red lips curling into her best attempt at a smile. Before she can open her mouth to reply, an antiquated and indulgent form of communication in their unified state, the spiked tip of the Gala's whip crashes through the reinforced glass and thrusts Envy hard against her seat. "M-Mistress?"

Envy bleeds. Hair falling over the left side of her face in sudden slump, the woman receives a wound that would have surely ended the life of anybody still considered human. Through lengthy experimentation in her garden both conscious and subconscious, the woman has long abandoned such a label. Warped metal penetrates her face and an eye is lost, perhaps this is Nova's very literal take on the expression 'an eye for an eye', it took the woman a good while to recover from her own injuries after their last fight at Nova tower. The world was so different back then.

"You could have reflected that with Mana's parry..." Helena tries to give advice to a woman resigned after she was the one to admit the hopeless nature of this duel. Envy still appreciates her dryad support despite the hypocrisy, knowing that the good nymph network has come a long way since the days she only sought to use her. Back when Envy went by Joy, a name that no longer belongs to her. "D-Does it hurt? We're applying an anaesthetic, feel free to wave the white flag any time, she's counting on the fact that you won't. You're gonna give her what she wants?"

"If I'm to sit on my thumbs for the next few months and watch her have her way with the people I care for, then yes, it's only right that I take this. I only wish that daughter of mine would turn away, but she's still more tethered to Nova than she realises. That makes two of us, this woman never ends. I'm connected to her right now and I still can't figure out what makes her tick, to think I even worshipped her myself once." Despite the almost comical size of the wound on Envy's face, she continues to speak calmly with the red spilling down her bodysuit in slow, staining crawl. 

Nicole Black decides to stop toying with her prey, pulling back from that shared memory and returning her full attention to the cockpit she herself occupies. The next part is just for Envy, the overgrown weed who actually sought to become her peer at the top of this world's pedestal. The Garden's mistress carries herself in a much more refined manner than that college kiddo she carved herself from, sure, and she's a far cry from the erratic brat who first challenged her. Still, her experience and attitude does not reflect wisdom, Envy grew soft where she should have hardened. The monster fancies itself a mother, and from one subhuman to another, Nova can respect the roleplay... but she won't allow it to decide the future of her world. 

"I hope the angels are watching." The blonde mutters under her breath as her relaxed grip tightens purposefully. She hopes the whole world is watching, because this will be an unforgettable showing. Using the long, taut whip to gain some momentum, Black Gala pulls hard on the weapon yet tethered to Envy's broken cockpit, running wheeled feet over the beaten dirt below her as she closes the gap between them in a flash. Soon enough, she's upon Envy, throwing the pommel of her trusty weapon aside and digging fingers into both of the enemy's shoulders. Destroy the enemy. Nicole tears the limbs clean off and meets Envy's defiant glare. The Empress herself is staring up at the blonde though that cage of broken glass with only the one eye left. It would seem that Nova has made a cyclops, gleefully drinking in the sight of black hair matted with drying blood.

"Nic, that's enough already! Or what, aren't you going to be satisfied until you've ripped her legs off too? If you take things too far here, nobody will follow you. The two of you are the only role models, heroes, that us Cassies have. Maybe Miss Murmur, too, but she's lumped in with Envy given their... closeness." Helena pleads fruitlessly, knowing just how poor Nicole's impulse control tends to be when she's riled up like this.

"Oh don't remind me, if my Misty needed a mother figure so badly she only had to ask me, not this mistake she birthed to begin with. Let's agree to disagree for now, Hive dear, I've yet to finish my performance. I do hope that you're comfortable there on the front row, you won't want to miss this. These creations of Mint and Envy's, we experience pain through them as though their bodies are our own. I'd consider this a design flaw, but given how they're made I suppose it only makes sense." Extensions of the Empress herself, humanoid weapons forged in The Garden itself and given freedom of movement through unity. Nova intends to design a series that hides the organic components well, houses these vines in a helix of flexible steel to have them appear as simple cables. Smoke and mirror, as all good theatre productions should employ. 

"Yeah, so?" Helena wishes she could pull out and leave Nova's Gala functionless, but she cannot disobey a direct command from her Empress. Her obedience to Envy is absolute, she's been a dryad for a very long time. Between the three of these women who all want different things in this moment, there isn't a human being in sight, or so they'd like you to think. 

"If you can feel pain, you can also feel pleasure." The Black Gala wraps a hand around the back of her dismantled enemy's neck, Envy's single watching eye widening through busted window frame. Nicole curls her Gala's digits into proper form and pulls herself closer, looking out at the sea of spectators with a glint of satisfaction in her eyes blinding all else. An arm swings forwards and those bent fingers bury themselves between the other craft's legs. While Envy's frame has no literal sexual organs, the nerves are such a close imitation and the intent carried over through psychic link does the rest for them. In the centre of the battle field, Nicole humiliates these peoples' beloved Empress not with pain, but pleasure. It's an odd sight to be sure, though one viewing it through this memory can only assume. How strange it must be to watch a hulking mech built for war, fingerfucking another that has been broken down before it. 

Envy's face flushes at the contact and she returns the leather strap to her mouth, determined not to moan for Gala's touch. For once in her new life as provocative dryad underling, Helena finds herself at a loss for words. With nothing built into the frame to penetrate, Gala pushes its fingers firm until the metal gives and it finds its way inside. A mass of internal vines clenches around the curling steel and Envy finds her body overheating already from the strange, phantom pleasure. She can't deny that Nova's fingers feel good, her own unification weaponized against her as the confident blonde's will wins out against a haggard Envy's. Just as before, the lesson Murmur taught her so long ago... the orchard answers to the strongest will, not necessarily its owner's. It isn't just her body dominated by proxy here, but slowly, her mind starts to follow. 

"Empress, is this worth remaining upright for?" Even Helena finds herself affected by that dominating presence, Nova pumping her corruptive will into the garden with every thrust of those mechanised fingers. "We... fuck... w-we should turn on the pain inhibitors, it might... ahh~"

Nicole slides another digit into the gash of damaged steel, such an ugly sight translating to simple, overwhelming pleasure. Envy's frame buckles its hips and the woman herself gasps, leather slipping free from her mouth as a hot coo escapes with it. The woman had been prepared to endure pain, torture even, but not this. The pain in her face is so distant now, a rush of blood inside of her taking precedent over the red still gushing on the outside. There's a crow over her head right now, telling her to let this continue for as long as Lady Nova deems necessary to prove her point. 

Perhaps even longer... it feels so fucking good. 

I uh... I never experienced anything like that in my Rook, as far as I can remember. They mention a procedure but I now realise I have no memory of such a thing, the back of my neck holds no ports and yet... the back of my head, hidden by hair... when did that get there?

So Nova won the duel and claimed me as her prize, along with Envy's reluctant support in her new scheme. Just what is it that she's trying to accomplish, it all seems so random to me and yet I don't sense madness in her, not like that anyway. I've no doubt her methods have some manner of purpose to them, and I now know that while Envy is not quite her enemy as I'd been led to believe initially, the two certainly do not see eye to eyes. Still, it's not as though I can trust Envy either, even if her actions in my first go around were part of Nova's script. Envy still cooperated in the grand deception and, of course, my fracturing into pet and knight. I was a proud sword, I think, but in whose name was I truly swung? And why did the Envy in this fragment appear so much older?

In any case, this isn't what I'm looking for. A welcome glimpse of lost history, sure, but nowhere near early enough for me to consider Nicole somebody you could reason with. I think Envy's lived experience here is proof enough of that. Let's keep looking, I don't want to keep Brie waiting on me all day. I should probably speed this search up, go back years instead of months when I'm all too aware how long she's been the way she is. 

"Guess who?"

Bloodied knuckles rap against reinforced glass, Nova pushing down the speaker button to wake the prisoner up with those two smug words. The blood she wears is not her own, nobody in this building was deserving of her heroics, just like Maverick Brawler's foes. The woman she's come here to release from captivity slowly stirs and peers out through glass at her unlikely saviour. 

"So you recovered? That's good... uhm... gosh, did you... are the guards--"

"I killed them, yeah. They're our enemies, Envy." Nova's gaze sharpens and the raven haired villainess raises her head to meet it head on, vines spilling out from her back to lift the young woman onto her feet. 

"Last I checked, I was your enemy too. Have you come to kill me?" Despite the calmness of her tone, the woman formerly called Joy can't help but tremble gently at the sight of this ghost from her past. A woman she once adored, who she later came to dethrone after becoming disillusioned with heroism. 

Nicole Black laughs into her hand, making sure to keep the speaker button held down lest she lose her captive audience. "We're on the same side now, and besides, I'd never kill one of our own." The blonde eyes up the specialised cell made to prevent Envy from using her vines or her gas to escape, wondering just how reinforced it is. Knowing that she could easily find the proper way of opening this glass cage, Nova instead begins to wonder at her strength. The woman has to know if these humans can build a prison that even she herself cannot break out of. And so, Nova slams her fist into the glass. And again. And again. And again. Until eventually, she breaks through and breathes the same air as her ally.

"One of our own?" Envy Williams had never heard Nova equate herself to a greater whole before, it hardly suits the woman. She can't help but smile, wondering if the blonde might've actually changed for the better while she herself had been left to rot in the aftermath of her insurrection. 

Some of her own blood finally showing on those skinned knuckles, Nova steps into the cell and scrunches her nose at the strong pheromone scent. "That's right, do you not know what's currently happening out there?"

Envy scoffs, happy for her freedom but knowing it comes with steep caveat. "Only some, I know they're saying it's my fault and I'm self aware enough to know... that isn't fair. So uh, you wanna do something about it? Me and you, really? Ahahaha, I always wanted to work with you, Lady Nova! Kid Joy would be losing her shit right about now but ah, I'm not really so enthused... I'm not saying no, though. What's the deal, really?"

"I'm swallowing a lot of pride coming to you, but our people are scattered and many of them worship you. Our city is overrun with parasites and I'm in agreement with you for once that some unification is in order, a place where they aren't welcome. Only hitch is... they're not so weak anymore, things are escalating quickly and I'm loathe to confess I require numbers if we're to clean our streets of this filth... what better symbols of Hope than the most popular hero and most infamous villain of all time? What better way to show our people that no matter what side of the law they were on before all this, we need to come together?" Nova can barely force the speech out in a convincing manner, not like she could before, she's out of practice and more transparent than ever. Except... Envy doesn't really care, they can use each other if they must. 

"Sure... but I'm not killing anybody. Suppose I could make more dryads for Hivemind, the rest we send far away."

Huh... I could have sworn I tried to go much further back than that, this is still after their first fight in which I split from Envy. My other self does look younger here, she sounds it too, not just in her voice but the way she speaks is more closely aligned to myself. Sometimes I forget we were once the same person, I still have the internalised notion that I'm nothing but her fake. Was I really sleeping through all of this history of ours? Envy's first attempt to take the city as her own ended in her incarceration, apparently, and it was none other than Nova who freed her for the second attempt that I can only assume was more successful given the current state of things. 

This is taking too long, I need to go much further back. Now, let's see...

Destroy the enemy!

Nicole Black throws the first punch, imitating her favourite cartoon hero, Maverick Brawler, who destroys every single enemy in his path. This is no Saturday morning cartoon, however, though it is certainly a rerun. Her initiative is in vain, unfortunately, and the young girl finds herself thrust against her locker in an almost textbook display of school bullying. Supremacy over another at such a young age must be so intoxicating, but Nicole would not know.

"Everyone saw you hit me first, little shit. They'll be sure to remember that when Mrs. Greene asks where we got our bruises from." Our bruises? Nicole cocks her head and realises the implication with a bitter smile. Great, she looks forward to explaining this one to her mother and father, who'll show no sympathy whatsoever. The admonishment from her parents has a much longer lasting sting than this dirtbag's knuckles, she concedes. "Which side do you want it on, preppy? I'm not afraid to get in trouble, I still have to finish etching my masterpiece onto the detention desk."

The blonde's glasses slide down and she tilts her head up to keep them on, knowing that they're far more precious than the rest of her. Nicole does not cost money to repair, bruises can heal. Nicole sighs and recalls the series of events that resulted in the perfect grade A student becoming public enemy number one in a place like this, in a school that requires a uniform to attend. She had made the mistake of being herself, one that she will surely learn from so that she never pays so dearly again. It was a fatal error of an evening, Nicole had clawed herself a single friend in this cliquey shithole of a facility and invited the girl to her home to spite her parents. The mistakes came in a bundle of three, the girl supposes, in that she had not realised just how cutthroat young girls could be. Her friend had wanted to discuss boys since the very second they closed the door to Nicole's pristine bedroom and the blonde almost laughed, having assumed this was something girls their age only did on shitty television shows. The TV her friends watched felt so alienating to Nicole, who much preferred action and, of course, violence. And so, the three mistakes that would haunt her for the rest of her early school days: Nicole had shown no interest in the boys at their school, had eagerly shown her friend a 'cartoon for boys' and perhaps worst of all, she had assumed this girl her friend in the first place. 

Maverick Brawler is a lone hunter, his quest to destroy the spacefaring villains that threaten the sanctity of this planet relies on nothing but his own two fists. Nicole Black had attempted to recruit an ally to her cause and it backfired badly, the girl she'd had over using the new gossip to finally find a place with the rest of the social vultures in their class. At this stage, the blonde had not considered her own sexuality at all and yet, the dyke allegations came hard and fast after that ill-planned evening. The blatant homophobia was of course dressed up in such a way to justify their antagonism, and so the story ended up being that Nicole had acted the predatory lesbian during the alone time she spent in her room with the traitor she had thought her friend. The girl in question did not confirm nor deny this, her neutral stance a twisting knife that made Nicole see her, too, as nothing but an enemy. 

"She's spacin' out, maybe getting thrust against a locker by another girl really does it for her." One of the classmates to their side fans the flames, Nicole returning to the present and gritting her teeth against that tightening grip of her collar. 

"Don't you dare fucking touch me..." Mutters the blonde, under her breath but loud enough for her enemy to hear. 

"Wh-What was that? The girl who still watches kiddie shows suddenly thinks she's tough shit, huh?" Another slam against the locker and Nicole wraps tight fingers around the other's wrist, digging her nails in as hard as she possibly can. 

"I said... don't touch me. I'm better than you, all of you. If any one of you fucking virgins lays a finger on my uniform again I'll burn the entire school down, with all of you inside." A fire burns in her eyes, Nicole experiencing a wild sense of catharsis as she watches their confident expressions wane and grow cautious. 

"V-Virgins? Then you're--"

It's at this moment that Nicole first realises the power of performance, theatre, weaponizing their biases against them to lend credence to her story. If they think she's some sick predator, she'll remind them not to fuck with something so dangerous, even if she knows she didn't touch a hair on that traitor's head. 

"Oh? Ahaha, did she leave that part out? Suppose she would, it's humiliating... the little brat barely put up a fight." The words are hard to push out of her throat, Nicole's glare intensifying as she wishes so badly for this to be over already. "And... you better keep your mouths shut, or one of you is next."

The crowd pulls back and slowly disperses in a sea of panicked mutters, Nicole's bully releasing her collar and giving the young blonde a look of fear and disgust that she revels in. Finally some fucking power, even if she has to steep herself in such horrific claims. She's only acting, the girl reminds herself, reaching a hand out slowly and cackling when the enemy before her recoils as though she were really going to do anything. The saviour she had been relying upon before today, that homeroom bell, sounds out and the rest of the rich kids flock to classes like good boys and girls despite their previous delinquent attitudes. Such is the way of things at a place like this, tuition isn't cheap here and truancy has dire consequences back home with the ones who front the bill. 

Even so, Nicole does not move from her locker. The alone time is too precious to her in this moment, the exhausted blonde sliding down into a heap on the floor as she finally allows those waiting tears to flow down her cheeks and stain her plaid skirt. Why does she feel so guilty for a crime she didn't commit? And... why does she care so much what the others think? They're not classmates, they're not people... just her enemies, she needs to disconnect herself from any other notion. She needs to, or she won't survive this place for much longer. 

Nicole hopes the angels aren't watching right now. 

Oh... well, that's way too far back this time. This is getting complicated, huh? It's not that I don't sympathise with her, but context does not excuse what she became. Still, I suppose it's good to know there's a human being beneath all that performance, or at least that there was at some point. I've never heard of that cartoon she was recalling fondly, though I suppose it must be before my time. I wonder if that's where her interest in the interstellar began, I'd find the notion cute were I not all too aware of where it all led. I should probably take a quick break here or Brie might start to worry. I've seen a glimpse of her early life and more than enough of it post-Envy, all that's left is that sweet middle. Nicole is a married woman, it's hard to even picture any sort of domestic situation between her and Miss Murmur and yet I know it did exist for a time. Perhaps somewhere in that healthy middle I'll find what I'm looking for, a version of Nicole that hasn't given herself over completely to that beckoning dark. Given the memory I've just seen, I'm starting to wonder if such a distinction can even be made to begin with. Perhaps I'm continuing on a fool's errand out of sheer curiosity, or maybe something worse... I'm still infatuated with her and watching memories from her perspective is making me want to believe there's someone worth salvaging here. 

Maybe Nicole Black is better suited for a swift ego death, but I'll reserve judgement until the end. I'm not an executioner, even if I've the memory of killing Misty's sense of self in that orchard during the height of her storm. Envy will have her own opinions on how to deal with Nova, I'm sure, so I needn't stress over such a temporary decision in the first place. Prioritising our safety, Brie's safety... is my top concern. I witnessed first hand that Hellhound's creation, even if I hadn't the eyes to watch the transformation. Even if I'm not the ideal person to give her this... I want her to feel cared about, maybe even loved. By process of elimination I'm her best option for that right now, the same goes for the inverse. Would that we could just run away, but I'm starting to realise that something big is happening, something I can't just run from.

Back to Brie, I want to feel her fingers in my hair before I take the final plunge into this foul woman's memory. Even more than that, I need to line my stomach. 

Chapter Five: An Interlude in Red

I awaken from the dream, tendril slipping free from the port in Lady Nova's neck and my mind swimming through a conflict of emotion. Nothing I've seen, not even that last fragment, has convinced my opinion of this woman to change in any meaningful way. Still, I don't want to shy away from understanding her, a monster is made less scary when that fear of the unknown is stripped bare, after all. Perhaps despite all her lofty achievements, these foul machinations I'm yet to fully grasp, Nicole Black is underwhelmingly human herself. If it bleeds... We often metaphorically denounce the humanity of the worst of our kind, labelling them inhuman for their ill deeds, and I'm starting to think that coping mechanism is far too generous to our collective species. I don't mean to sound like Envy, nor do I wish to become so steeped in cynicism that I find nothing worth saving in the first place, I just think that people like Nova are capable of such cruelty because of just how human they are. At the same time, perhaps more optimistically, I understand that the same goes for kindness. Whether good or bad, I believe humanity to be an inescapable affliction. 

Woozy from all this ugly philosophising, I stumble back and can't help but smile when I'm caught in strong arms. Brie is emblematic of that kindness I mentioned, even after we used her so she cannot help but play the sap. My sap, maybe, at least I hope I could come to lay claim on such an ambitious want. Her warmth is in direct contrast to the frigid black hand presented by Nicole's stern leather touch. It's a warmth that lights a fire under me, as much as it placates me like a hearth anyway. A fire that melts away the burdens of my sins, both those committed willingly and those I was trained to perform for others. The difference in that is meaningless, arbitrary, even after a million mantras to the contrary I must accept that a human is not a tool. To suggest as much is weak minded and irresponsible, it's pure escapist fantasy I'd like this fire to conflagrate. 

"Y-You okay there? I've got you." Dyed red hair descends upon me as Brie cradles me against her from behind, almost as though she means to wrestle me away from Nicole who stole away my attention from her for... 

"Mm... How long was I gone for?" A strange turn of phrase when I consider I never physically left this room, but not a wholly inaccurate one given the nature of my orchard. Many things have changed about that garden in my head, but it still functions the same at its core. 

The recovering Hellhound gives me a soft smirk and her rough fingers lace around my stomach, Brie falling back onto dining room chair with me resting in her lap. The walls between us regarding intimate contact were completely bulldozed by 'Handler' and her games, which I hatefully concede is something I feel like thanking her for in this moment. I only worry that I'll grow too attached to this touch, that a lack of it might begin to make it hard to breathe. I'm starting to fear the suffocating air of a Brieless room. 

"Not long at all, like five or ten minutes? I-I didn't take advantage or nothing..." Brie's cheeks tint pink and I consider how surprisingly cute she can be herself given that she's always the one to accuse me of such a thing. Only five to ten minutes passed out here, then, though I'm still a little smug at the fact the woman I'm growing so fond of stood close behind me without moving for that entire window of time. 

"Oh? That would have been terrible... aha, yes, so terrible. I'd much rather be conscious to enjoy it when you're taking advantage of me, hehe. Gosh, what am I saying?" It's hard not to tease, my sudden worry that I might've taken it too far swiftly allayed by a hand sliding up to gently caress me through my clothing. The swell of my chest turns flush against Brie's tender motion and I can't help but sigh into this storied kitchen. 

"Yeah, I was thinking much the same. So this is okay?" A softness in her voice I feel treated to in this moment makes me want to tell Brie everything she does to me is okay. A part of me I'd be a fool to deny desires something far more possessive and selfish than this, wanting her to use me like I'm disposable, but feeling precious can be a rush of its own. Her palm runs circles with my breast and it couldn't feel further from Commander Black's crop swinging against the supple flesh, both brought pleasure of a different variety. I think I want the world. 

"M-More than okay, don't be a stranger hehe... there was a strange vision in there that made me a little pent up so I--"

Brie clicks her tongue and the sound makes me bite my lip with strong anticipation. Those gentle fingers dig into my shirt more confidently and her breath flicks hot against my neck. "Are you trying to make me jealous? I don't want your arousal to come from anything but me, okay? You're mine..." Lips supplant that appetiser of hot breath, the softest part of Brie save for her heart, nipping over skin with a possessiveness I could not help but stoke. I feel victorious, rewarded for my playful effort by kisses that make me feel owned in such a light-hearted sense. Wonderfully owned in this instance, an agreement made between trembling bodies and quivering breaths. 

"Yours..." Getting comfortable in Brie's lap while forgetting the blissed out blonde standing feet away from us, the danger she poses should I prove unable to contain her, I lean back against a body I've been obsessed with since we first created it. The roughness with which Brie took Envy only moments after her conception was enough to have us hooked, though I'm no Envy and I don't think I quite care for the same power dynamic that she enforced. I feel that I can give into the fantasy of being owned by Brie as much as I like here, because I know implicitly that the woman would never go so far as to grant my wish in earnest. My head falls back onto her shoulder and we tilt to face each other at an awkward angle, tracing each other's faces with lips before they finally hit their mark. When I had expressed my need to take a short break from Nicole's history to keep myself sharp and prevent Brie from worrying, this is not exactly what I'd had in mind... but I cannot deny that the distraction is as effective as her touch is thorough, hands slipping under the linen hugging my body and roaming gooseflesh. I sigh out again and relax against her like a princess practicing the throne, excitement making me want to kick my legs up and down upon it. "Yours~" 

"Heh... I... I can barely keep my hands off of you, y'know? Isn't that bad, though? I mean, I'm just like everyone else who uses you at the end of the day... but you're more than just a toy to me, Flower, and I don't want to only take. I-I think I've got so damn much to give that it's all weighing me down. Maybe it's selfish and presumptuous, but I wanna give you as much of me as you can handle. There's some ugly shit in that as well, 'course, but I hope you want it anyway." Ringed fingers slip down into my waistband and I buckle my hips before she even reaches that salivating spot so hungry for fingers. 

"I want it." I speak with yet another sigh into her shoulder, so unbearably hot out of the blue. I'm feverish against her firm touch, feeling safer in these arms than anywhere else in this puzzling world we're lost in. "I-I want you." It almost feels like Brie isn't real, an angel come to whisk me away. For some reason, I feel such little solace in the concept of angels, so maybe Brie is more akin to a devil. Back on the island Brie had been a much needed devil on my shoulder, telling me to 'fuck the right thing' and choose a future for myself I actually wanted. At the time, I couldn't think of one. "I want you so badly it scares me." My lips murmur into her neck as I latch on and decide to prove it with tangible marking. Marking my territory, my Brie. With Nicole I had wanted to make a canvas of her flesh to claw back what little power I could in our twisted dynamic, one that was even more of a pretence than I realised at the time. With Brie, it feels more like a gift, a memory, my suction of her skin telling her I'll be with her even should we be forced to part again. 

Brie rubs me through my panties, indelicately. It's so lacking in grace that I can't help but loosen a giggle alongside hearty moan. It is a crass touch. My new favourite feeling.  

"You don't think Nova was watching that whole time, do ya? Don't you have unfinished business with the bitch, Flower?" Brie is laying on the kitchen tiles, her back having long transferred its sweltering heat to the floor that once cooled it. Clothing is strewn about the kitchen in a mess that makes me glad the house staff is currently absent. Fingers housed in chunky metal pluck at my hair idly as I lay across her naked chest in a similarly nude state. Brie's body is a marvel, tall and broad enough for me to fit inside her like matryoshka. 

"Yeah... it's just hard to move, you're not in there... so I'm finding less and less appeal to venture back. I... absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?" My strawberry locks spill over Brie's chest as I shift my head, wanting to look as cute as I can for her. "Though I guess... I only just noticed it but the first memory I visited shouldn't have even existed in this Nova's head. Maybe there are memories of that time the three of us spent together before the reset, too?" 

Brie tilts her head up, obscuring that lovely bruise I gave her as she does so. "Well, promise me you won't go looking for those then, just in case. I don't want you to see me like that, okay? Nobody's ever looked at me the way you do and if that suddenly changes, I'd--"

Once again, I feel possessed to hold Brie's cheeks in my hands and lean in to press a slow kiss against her chin. "Hey, it's okay. You've seen me at my very worst, and you still look at me... the way you do. I won't go looking, but if I do see anything it won't change shit. This flower's in bloom, I don't think it knows how to stop now." She's so radiant, like the sun, no wonder I'm always leaning towards her. If my first meeting with Hivemind had never come to pass, would we have met? Perhaps on the street, sure, we patrolled so close I'm surprised our paths never crossed before that night in the alley. In a sense, Envy is a mother to us both. 

With a slightly bashful smirk, Brie closes her eyes and enjoys the feeling of touch she cannot convince herself she doesn't deserve any longer. "You're every colour of rose, huh?"

"Hm?" I'm not sure what she's referencing, but roses are a flower so I can follow well enough. "Yeah, hehe, thorns and all, I'm afraid." 

"Wouldn't have it any other way. Go show Nova just how thorny you can be, hm? Don't go easy on her even if she's got some predictable sob story in her past, so do we and we're not like her. It's a sad fact of life that some people just learn the wrong lessons from hardship, and some don't learn at all." Brie gently holds my wrists, savouring the touch of my palms a little longer even if her cheeks are hotter than my hands could hope to be. Is this what she meant by giving? "You didn't happen to see Envy while you were digging around in Nova's head, did you?"

I quirk my brow, wondering what has her so curious. "Oh I saw plenty of her... and it doesn't line up with my personal memories of her, uhm... from a time before we got introduced. This is my second time coming back to this point... actually I seemed to come back earlier this time, just a little anyway."

"Figured as much. When I was in her... territory, a blonde with your face mentioned a proxy Envy. The one I met there was nothing like the one who laid claim to me back in her garden. I mean, it was the same person, but she was significantly older and--"

"Had an eye missing?" Given that I was originally a part of that woman, I can almost feel the wound my own, but then... I've still got both my eyes, even if they were out of commission for a long while. 

"I... she covered half her face, so I never saw anything to confirm that. If the damn woman has the power to change my body through will alone, she can heal a wound like that can't she?" It's obvious that Brie can't quite decide what to make of Envy, having been conflicted in the past whether to give in to her or lump her in with Lady Nova, but I can tell she cares. How could she not?

"Yeah, I think you're right. She must be choosing to stay like that, I couldn't tell you why. I understand the modern day Envy as much as I do myself, there's just too large a gap in memory haha... that photograph in your wallet says as much, anyway. A proxy huh? So I never even met the real her, grew obsessed with some stand in! Haha, why does that track so well for me..." That version of Envy seemed so perfect, unblemished, not a shred of empathy or compassion in her actions. If she was all part of Nova's stage play as agreed upon after winning that strange duel, I suppose it only makes sense. Fundamentally, Envy and I are the same person, we're both capable of each other's actions and ways of thinking even if we've gone down different paths. Nova is not swayed by that spectre of guilt that dogs our steps down those respective routes, is not so willing to learn. It's just as Brie surmised, then, her school days have long passed her by. 

"Hopefully we'll be able to ask her what the fuck is going on when we pay visit, she did seem very keen that I bring you to her, and as pissed with Nova as we are. I'm... not sure what that's worth, currently, but it's something. Enemy of my enemy, or whatever?" How did Envy even contact Brie to begin with? I know she has psychic abilities, but they require an established link as far as I remember. I suppose it's just another question for the pile, I look forward to standing my ground and demanding some answers. The white haired military me and the blonde Brie speaks of, the spontaneous sci-fi warfare, the passivity in the face of Nicole's heinous actions. And most of all, I need to ask her about Brie. About the photograph and, of course, how long really passed from when I first split with her and ended up waking in this manor. If she lies about a single thing, I'll know, we have the same tells. 

But first, I need to resolve my business with the former superhero turned sadistic Handler. I'm sorry to pry, Miss Murmur, but it's time I view the fragments of what married life looks like for a woman I could not begin to imagine walking the aisle. 

Chapter Six: Space Debris - Part Two

Once more into the breach. With Brie still dressing back into her clothes behind me, I realise just how desperate I am to get this over with as quickly as possible so that I may return to the woman's side. She really is my hunk, I muse to myself in a rare indulgence of possessive thought, daring to bring a smile to these lips that have been claimed by so many before her. I've been far too passive lately, I miss that assertiveness that once nurtured inside my garden of thought, fledgling feeling pruned by leather hands. That turn to the dark, when Envy first came around, was an intoxicating sense of power I haven't tasted since. What am I even attempting to do with Nova here, save her? No, no, I'm using her in the same way she wouldn't think twice about using me. It'll be so cathartic to have her at my mercy, it already is, but I want her to be able to respond when I ask something of her. To look me in the eye and demurely obey like she's never known anything else. I can hardly expect reparations, apology, from this woman when possessed of all her mental faculties, so this is simply evening the playing field in the sake of fairness. What is it they say? You reap what you sow. 

"You feeling okay, Flower? Got a scary look on your face right now, you uh... don't have to go back in there right away, or at all. I don't mind lugging her over my shoulder, really, though I'd probably have to plug my nose..." Brie reaches for the apple sitting in the fruit bowl and I find some irony in the fact that I could not hope to identify the cultivar. The woman is not as strong as she appears on the outside, I know well that her time spent under this woman's thumb has affected her as much as it has myself. I told her to deny that the methods stuck, to spite this woman who wants nothing more but to drive a wedge, but privately I cannot deny that she changed us both. Though change, by nature, is not static. We're always changing and so I'd like to believe that nothing I've gone through these past weeks is able to define me as a person. The same goes for Brie, I can believe it even more with her given how headstrong and stubborn she is when compared to a wilting flower like me. Still, I'm trying my best. 

"I'm fine, Brie. Better than fine after what we just did, hehe. Hold me again?" It's a selfish request, asking the woman to remain static for as long as I spend digging around in Lady Nova's fragments of history, but Brie is the one who once demanded I act more selfishly in the first place. 

The butch blushes and bites into crisp apple with teeth I once found so threatening. I resist the urge to flock over to her and lap up the juice spilling down her chin like the eager puppy she knows me to be, for if we start up again I fear we'll find ourselves on the floor once more in no time at all. "Sure, I'll make sure to hold you real close." Her playful tone makes me weak in the knees, reminding me of the way she had acted back when we were first reintroduced in the foyer. There's no trace of Handler's mutt in that brief flash of smile, and for my part I've not been experiencing the same unwelcome voices from my past iteration. Back then, Envy's tongue would never leave my ear, whispering ceaselessly and urging my relapse into her pet knight. Even though I'm still tempted by Nova, I'm somehow faring much better here. It... almost feels as though there is some unseen caveat, waiting in the wings. Such thoughts are unproductive, entertaining pessimism will not help me regain agency in the story of my life. I'll just keep on keeping on, until the twilight curtains call. 

"Good, that makes me happy." I tell the object of my desire with a soft smile, happy to be able to sound so certain about something in this sea of uncertainty I find myself wading through, knee deep and slowly sinking deeper. Deeper and deeper, I'm destined to fall again and if my precognition warns true, sooner than I'd like. Swallowing doubt like a drug, I call that lone tendril I've come to rely on and swing it around into my hand. Perhaps all of the offshoots only have one, like Shepherd and that blonde, while only Envy has the many roots under her command. Maybe this thing is my true body, just one of Envy's stray vines sprouting false will of its own. Were I still in the aftermath of a long and sleepless knight, I'm sure that fake Envy's phantom tongue would be slipping into my ear right about now to fan the flames of such a pathetic thought, to hypocritically enforce the idea that I'm nothing but a clay creation of our one true empress. No such voice comes, though I still ended up entertaining the thought all on my own. I'm not sure that was the progress I had been hoping for!

Without further ado, it's time to close the chapter on this kitschy kitchen and cross fingers that I never have to grace these tiles again. Nicole cannot continue, not as she is, so I'll make one more delve and then figure out what I'm going to do with the woman. My tendril touch brushes over the light blonde hairs running down Lady Nova's neck and finds a snug fit in those holes willingly implanted so that she may interface with her 'Black Gala'. I remember the slender midnight mecha well, now that I've not had the memory exorcised from this heap of thinking flesh in my head. Nova's battle suit stood much taller than mine, it was lithe and nimble with a long black whip locked to her hip by impossibly strong magnets. For the other arm, sat a vanity weapon I almost never saw her actually wield except for when Miss Murmur's 'Cameo Moth' would test her patience with all its nimble evasion manoeuvres. The oversized handgun was a detailed replica of the custom she wore on her hip when walking the base. I never heard the smaller one fire a round, and as for the larger one, I never once heard a round hit its mark. Me and Murmur share the same gift, our visions can be vague and fickle outside of the cockpit, but in battle the precognitive power is like a sixth sense. As Envy's pet knight I had been breaking through ranks on all fours sustaining damage from occasional stray shots and slices, while as Handler's toy soldier, her rifle, I had been much swifter on two feet executing my prey with precision not borne from accuracy. I simply knew, instinctively, where to aim. I even remember knowing where the spare cartridges were located, usually hidden within hollowed out tree bark or, further out, in the corpses of buildings coated in ash. 

My time as a living weapon piloting one made from metal and vine is such a far cry from the superhero work that once comprised the action in my life. When we were not training against Envy's forces, who I now understand to have been reluctant allies who would drop the pretence of infighting the moment our 'real foe' reared its head, we were answering the breach alarm to defend our city against those malformed metal angels. Beings of steel wings grafted onto unmanned cores, of mechanical eyes and decorative looping halos. They are not something that I ever gleaned any understanding of, their origin and intents as much a mystery to me as all the other oddities I'm surrounded by... though perhaps they take the cake. All I know is that they were hostile enough to require dispatching with that eager rifle's itchy trigger finger, and that my progress in doing such pleased my commander greatly. It was not only important that I fight them in my 'Red Rook', a crimson soldier with revolver in hand and shield on the other arm I barely made use of, but that I was often overwhelmed by the enemy. Poor Brie was caught in the crossfire of Nova's final test, having intentionally hung back in her Gala to push us to our limits. She's always pushing, this damned woman, and look where it got her. Play with your food too long and it may just bite you first. 

No more preamble, I'm getting this over with fast. I've places to be today, and Bries to kiss. This power feels so good, I'd rather be a second Envy than another rifle, this ability of ours was clearly made for villainy and so a villain I'll become. It just so happens, in this instance, that the hero in my clutches is a perfect match for these morally reversed roles of ours. That's right... I've a moral responsibility to dice this woman's thoughts and find something I can use. 

"Hey, didn't I just fire you?" 

A well dressed woman wears painted red smirk, brushing golden blonde behind her ear as she waits for her date to reach her seat. Nicole Black is not the chivalrous sort, nor is she particularly thoughtful, but she makes a point not to treat Misty as any other performative man would. Perhaps it is an immature mindset of its own, but Nicole wishes to show that she sees the two as equals, that they'll split this restaurant's bill right down the middle. Fortunately she's not so committed to this act that she'd insist they pay for exactly what they order separately, that level of neurosis would align her too closely with the mother she so loathes. Miss Black's parents was a topic that came up all too often during her therapy sessions, and she could not help but try and turn questions back on Misty whenever she felt cornered, surprised when the raven haired woman admitted to experiencing plenty of friction with her mother and having never known her father. Nicole liked that about Misty from the start, if the woman had been loved they would have related to one another far less strongly. 

"Oh, I believe so, but should you wish to pay me for this date I can pass on my updated hourly rate?" Misty gives bashful smile as she pulls out her chair and flattens her knee length black skirt. Taking a seat and calming the excited muscle in her chest, the young therapist cannot help being dazzled by the gorgeous blonde before her. Nicole has enough renown to be noticed in public these days, a face fit for television that the meagre Misty found herself lost in from their very first session. She realised rather quickly that she did not want to be Nicole Black's therapist, she wanted so much more than that. "You look beautiful tonight, I uh, feel that I may appear underdressed by comparison."

Nicole can hardly spare a thought for Misty's cheap dress when she's already undressing the woman with glimmering eyes, a light golden hue behind her stare betraying such unkempt desire. Humans have long since made themselves this woman's enemy, so much so that Nicole could only think of taking to the stars to escape their incessant rabble, but Misty is something else. Something Nicole wants. "Don't be silly now, you look good enough to eat. Perhaps I'll save you for dessert, hm? Ahaha, I'm only joking, this is my first date in quite some time and I'm actually a little nervous if you'd believe? I forbid you to psychoanalyse me too much though, at least until the wine hits." This is the woman's first date, period. She may play the confident flirt, but the concept of sitting down and attempting to enjoy a meal and conversation with somebody who could simply betray her later never made much sense to her. In Nicole's mind, 'human kindness' is an oxymoron and civility a chore she reluctantly accepts. Her work is all that drives her, at least until very recently. 

With a small nod, Misty relaxes and reminds herself that she, more than anybody, should know just how human this woman before her is even if she sometimes feels above such a label. Nicole is radiant, statuesque, she can disarm Misty so easily that their sessions were often derailed by her charming antics. Now, the raven haired woman rests cheek in hand and remembers she no longer has to hide her admiration for the sake of her professional integrity. "That's a relief, it's the same for me. My last partner burnt me out on dating for a while, I think, I wasn't able to get her off my mind at all until... well, you came along. That's how it goes I guess."

"I'll make it so she never even existed, you won't need to think about her ever again okay?" Or anyone else for that matter, Nicole thinks with clenched fist resting over tablecloth. That's right, destroy the enemy, even if this one is nothing but a memory. Nicole has found that memories pose the greatest threats of all, there are just so many she wishes she could destroy but finds her power lacking. Still, she cannot help but strive to create more enemies for herself tonight, driven by desire to forge memories of Misty that a pessimistic voice in her head tells her will come back to bite her later. It's not the same as Misty's precognitive ability, of course, but it's no less accurate in this instance. 

Misty tries and fails, wonderfully, to hide the blush creeping onto her face. It's odd for me to see her so... animated, lifelike. Those dark rings around her eyes have yet to claim her, the mess of hair I'm accustomed to appears straight and glossy even if it's just as onyx black as ever. It's hard to say exactly what the young professional sees in such a possessive, narcissistic, irresponsible workaholic... but it's clear as day that she's already smitten.  "You're coming on a little strong for a first date, dear." The woman remarks in a husky voice laden with amusement, another thing they have in common is the uncommonly low pitch of their voice, something that would later pose great threat to a one Joy Williams' supposed heterosexuality. 

"And you clearly enjoy that about me, I'm not a woman of half-measures nor do I enjoy starting out in the kiddie pool. That we're on a date means I wish to make an impression on you, and I'll warn you I have not developed a dial for such affairs. If romantic forays often come to slowly nurture like a bulb beholden to a dimmer switch ticking gradually upwards... well, you can think of me as a plain old light switch. That and... well, my chosen career is considerably more dangerous than yours. There are jobs down here on Earth far more dangerous, really, but it's important to be aware of the risks and the damn challenge of it all. If I'm to be busy for the majority of my week, if I'm to be gone for stretches of time and well aware that complications could arise in such journeys... I'd really rather not waste the hours in your company playing coy. You surprise me, Misty..." Nicole Black strokes the side of her foot against the other's ankle beneath the table, desperately wanting her warmth. It's a selfish sort of yearning, her lust like the hunger of a vampire requiring a mortal's life essence to feel sated. 

"Hm? How so? I'm nothing special." The woman hides her blush by pretending to browse the menu, knowing that she's going to order the same dish she always does on a first date. She is a superstitious sort, on account of her upbringing. A famous woman is giving her such personal attention, eyeing her up like she's a fine steak more gourmet than any you can order in this pricey joint, and Misty cannot help but wonder why she's so lucky. Ever since her older sibling distanced themselves from society after Misty had leaned on their support like a crutch since the day she was born, Misty has felt undeserving of someone to ever look after her again. The woman had resigned to standing on her own two feet and giving everything to her career, much easier to unpack other people's trauma than your own after all. Because of these feelings she has held close to her chest for many years now, Misty feels it stir when the Aphrodite before her speaks thus. 

"I want to take care of you." Nicole does not speak the words in a particularly flirtatious manner, sounding more serious, almost sullen. The statement is a half truth at best, but she knows she cannot say what she truly means. Even if it feels ugly to admit, Nicole speaks these words to Misty as one would address a treasured pet, rather than a prospective lover. The woman is perfectly attractive to Nicole, she'd make a good wife. 

Misty, understanding nothing, gives a nervous laugh I could not imagine Miss Murmur ever letting loose. Her job is exhausting, though the woman has yet to learn the cruelty of true exhaustion awaiting her. Taking care of other people day in, day out, listening to their problems with empathetic smile. Sometimes it leaves her wondering when her turn is due. Most therapists have their own, of course, knowing well the impact it can have first hand. Rather than an hour a week in another's care, however, Misty just desperately wants a home. A cot of cradling hands to rock her to sleep and steal her from those dreary days.

"I... I'd like that."

Ugh... somehow I had expected more sweetness in that date, had hoped for something genuine I could salvage. I suppose in that sense, me and Misty are both Nova's fools. I've fallen for them both, but not in the typical straightforward way. Seeing the way Nicole would think about Misty from the very start breaks my heart when I consider just how much Murmur's lingering love for Lady Nova fuelled her actions leading up to her defeat at Envy's hands. The resentment Misty had felt towards the heroes who relied so heavily on Nicole's need to be important was so genuine, while Nicole had practically viewed her wife as property from day one. Precious maybe, but certainly nothing equal. It's no wonder that a defeat at the hands of such a fledgling villain would send her off the deep end, I don't think Nicole has considered anyone her equal since being burned in high school. Such a fucking child, this is the woman who'd become the world? She's... petulant. Again, I cannot help but consider just how driven Miss Murmur's plot had been by a desire spare Nova's feelings, wishing to allay the woman's guilt as much as possible before meeting her long awaited sleep. The blonde did not deserve such consideration, but I suppose love blinds us all. Ah... not an analogy I want to stick to when I consider the state I was forced into during my most recent captivity. 

I think I'm beginning to settle on what to do with Mrs. Black, what she deserves, but I might as well view a couple more fragments so that I can say that I gave her a fair shake. Playing judge, jury and executioner is admittedly a little intoxicating... I can see the appeal of such power, but unlike Nova I'll only wield it justly. I suppose everybody has a different sense of justice, but without unification you can only consult your own. I'm not twisted like Nova, at least I tell myself as much. If I cannot trust my own judgement then how can I expect anybody else to trust me either? So I'll believe in myself. I'm a good person so it's fine to punish the wicked. Harm prevention is important, so is discipline.

Misty toils behind the kitchenette. 

Popular music plays from the radio sitting on the counter as a woman enters the spacious studio apartment they share with elegant stride. Keys are thrown onto a table with a rattle that has Misty lifting her head, an easy smile on her face. The therapist wears a red apron over her sleek black turtleneck, long crow-black hair swept back by matching red headband with white polka pattern. The dark rings have yet to settle, though I take note of the bands around their fingers. 

"Oh my, are you practicing being my bona fide housewife already dear?" Nicole smirks as she admires the woman eager to cook for her, having resented such a thing in her youth when the house staff would prepare their food. Just once, Nicole had wanted to taste her own mother's cooking, even if she was sure it would have been disquietingly unpalatable. 

"I'm making your favourite, filled gnocchi, so you better sit your ass down and enjoy it. I know you always forget to eat at work so I've made you an extra large portion and intend to make sure you eat it all. You can't train for space on an empty stomach, my love." Misty grins, a stubborn glint in her eyes telling the other woman that she's unwilling to budge on this matter. 

Nicole stares down at the engagement ring that confirms that she finally has someone who'll never abandon or betray her, a captive crow she intends to keep happy and loved until they wither and die. They say that roughly half of marriages end in divorce, but Nicole Black knows that such odds are beneath her. If there is one thing that Nicole believes in more than anything else on this regrettable rock she's still currently trapped on, it's her ability to get exactly what she wants. Time would only continue to prove her right on this matter, unfortunately. 

"You're so thoughtful, it makes me feel a little guilty for being so selfish all the time." The rocketeer leans over the counter with an apologetic smile on offer, Misty moving close to steal it from the exhausted blonde's lips. Back before the incident, Nicole was always the tired one while Misty had plenty of energy. The latter was naïve and lovesick enough to wish to change places, and her wish would be summarily granted in the not so distant future. 

Letting the kiss drag out to let her fiancé know she's been waiting for it all day, Misty raises her own smile against those soft cherry lips she still can't believe are just for her. "Nonsense, for one I love that I'm going to be able to call such a career driven and adventurous woman my wife... and secondly, I don't think I'd have been able to set up an office and work from my apartment on my own, I doubt I could have even afforded the space. I love our life here, though I do miss the commute a little... heh, I think I appreciate having to go shopping for groceries while you're busy just so I've got an excuse to use my car."

The impenetrable Miss Black stares into Hazel eyes that leave nothing up to interpretation. So this is what it feels like, to be loved unconditionally? It feels good, she admits to herself wryly, wondering if she would speak so selflessly and be so encouraging were she in the other's shoes. If Misty was constantly unavailable to her, Nicole would no doubt find a way to remove the obstacles rather than accept them as a part of her life. Anything preventing her access to Misty is an enemy, something to be destroyed, yet Nicole's fiancé actively celebrates the factors that restrict her access. Misty supports her completely, and it makes Nicole taste self loathing for the first time since she was a lowly runt being shoved against her locker.

If she ever lost her... the world would know. 

A crater defaces the Earth on North Star Island, a piece of space debris sitting nude in its smoking centre. 

Nicole Black shivers uncontrollably despite the sheer heat she's giving off, still lost in the unforgiving cold of that lightless world. A dead star had swallowed her whole, and somehow, it had spat her back out. Rejected even by the abyss itself, Nicole cannot help but want to laugh at her sorry self. Would that she could, but the woman has yet to wrestle control of her body back from that terrible darkness. Fingers twitch and eyes pool with unnatural golden light, the missing astronaut digging nails into the disturbed ground and finding herself one with the dirt. She has never been so enamoured with soil before, but after having accepted that she'd never reach this planet's surface again it feels like bullion.

It's funny, Nicole Black had spent her entire life wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the Earth she was born to, having never felt an attachment to the rock on account of her alienation to her kind. From a young age she had been convinced that she was separate from the humans she couldn't help but sneer at, had fantasized about discovering she was not really one of them just as Maverick Brawler once had. An inexplicable near death experience that made her yearn for home more than she knew possible should humble Nicole, it very nearly does, but then that rush of power comes and she slowly lifts up from the crater like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Not only is she reborn, but vindicated, years of seeing herself as better than human finally proven right by this trial in the void. People born with powers are becoming more common as this age of superheroes solidifies itself, but Nicole still sees this as a sign. The woman was not born this way, she was required to earn it, and if that does not make her special then she does not know what will. 

After getting used to flight on the moon-soaked island, Nicole's first act as a superpowered person is to commit a crime. She soars through the sky above her city and swoops down to steal from clothesline so that she may cover up this naked body even if the nipping cold has little hold on her. Modesty is important, she's long since made an effort to maintain image and the sentiment has infected every facet of how she carries herself. The crime is unfortunate, but she does not want to risk her reunion with Misty being sprung on her before she can reach her wardrobe. Oh, Misty... Nicole's heart pounds earnestly at the thought that she'll be able to hold her wife in these new, superhuman arms of hers. Nervousness flares up inside of her, an unfamiliar sensation she does not welcome gladly. How long has she been gone for? The memory is so spotty but Nicole recalls her drift feeling like it lasted an age. Even if it has been a while, long enough to find herself reported missing, what does she have to be nervous about? By all rights she should be excited to deliver the good news and return to her bed, but then... what if so much time has passed that Misty no longer occupies the same apartment? What if her wife has already mourned and moved on? No... it'll only have been a few weeks at most, and besides, Misty wouldn't do that. 

Feeling unbearably human as her emotions begin to fray, Nicole drops down onto her apartment's balcony and finds herself hesitating. Should she break in or knock upon the glass? Still not used to her strength, even a tap could shatter the thing. The spacefaring super ends up lingering on the balcony of her and Misty's apartment for nearly an hour after having rushed over here at breakneck pace. Eventually she is shaken from her uncharacteristically uncertain thoughts by the sight of the curtains on the other side of the glass suddenly beginning to move. It's so late... no, early in the morning, that Nicole had expected Misty to be fast asleep should she still occupy this living space of theirs. Realistically it would be a nuisance to move, given it is also her place of work.

Little does Nicole know that Misty has not slept for quite some time, and has not been working for almost as long. When the curtains are pulled apart by a restless Misty desiring the unforgiving wind against her frail cheeks, Nicole is suddenly met with hazel rings encased in larger, dark circles that suggest an exhaustion no amount of make-up could hope to hide. Those sleepy eyes widen in shock, understandably, while Nicole herself is almost moved to tears in a bout of sudden emotion. Misty fumbles with the lock for a moment before swinging it open and stumbling onto the balcony, all the while questioning whether or not she's just hallucinating on account of her sleepless state. 

"Misty, you're..." Nicole looks appalled at the terrible state she finds her wife in, wondering rather predictably whether this is a direct result of her absence. Misty appearing lifeless without Nicole to be her light... it's a self centred but understandable assumption in this instance. 

"Mmh... Nic? I-Is that really you?" The sleep deprived woman fights off an ill-timed yawn and finds it hard to believe that her Nicole could possibly be standing in front of her right now. She was pronounced dead months ago, and besides, how could she have appeared on the balcony of all places? It's... not realistic, thinks the raven haired mess who assumes her mind to be playing cruel tricks on her. 

As though reading these doubts in Misty's heavy eyes, Nicole lunges forwards and pulls her wife into a tight hug she refuses to hold back on. It is the most intense feeling Misty has had in forever, both physically and emotionally. Nicole is real, embracing her, and still she cannot produce tears. Tired, dry sobs quake the super's shoulder and Nicole rubs the woman's back desperate to return her to the perfect spouse she's used to as quickly as possible.

"There, there. I'm back now... I-I'll fix everything, okay? Like I always do." The blonde's bravado is hard to deny, especially now that her body is so bulletproof. 

"Mm... o-okay! I can't believe it... I'm so happy." Misty almost sounds guilty, the woman wishing that she could give her Nic a proper reunion but knowing she's much less animated than before. In the ensuing search for a way to cure her wife's condition Nicole will eventually look into creating a strong stimulant that she'd later repurpose for much less noble means. 

"I'm... happy too, Misty. Sorry I worried you there, I value you more than anything... I know it's an awful ask after I left you... like this... for all this time, but please never leave me." Nicole runs fingers through her wife's unbrushed hair and plants lips against pasty forehead.

"Of course... I... I'm so glad you're back home." The future crook holds onto future hero for dear life, praying to gods she doesn't believe in that if this is a dream, they never wake her up. How ironic, given her condition.

"Yes... same."

The state of Misty is so unsatisfying to Nicole, who had been counting on her one constant to never let her down. 

Lady Nova's secretary plants a kiss upon the woman's shoulder in bed,

her lips feeling so cold against the superhero's shoulder. "I'm so proud of you, Nic. Sorry about earlier... that rookie of yours. I was just playing around hehe, I got distracted in all the excitement... not often Nova tower gets involved in any direct engagements anymore." Misty Black inhales softly the scent of her favourite person, even if the woman barely pays her any attention at all these days. It's so rare for them to share a bed given that Misty can never find herself able to drift off alongside the other, but she capitalised on Nicole's worry after nearly causing a scene with that pink haired greenhorn earlier in the day. It has occurred to Misty that causing trouble is the only consistent way to gain her distant wife's attention, the sleepless woman not as willing to be so selfless with the hero as she had the astronaut. It never felt like Nicole was intentionally avoiding her in those days, she seemed genuinely happy to carve out what alone time they could afford. More tentative pecks fall upon Nova's shoulder and traipse across her neck, Misty's voice lowering to a hushed, apologetic whisper. "I love you so much, you know that right?"

Wishing that the ghost of her trophy wife would stop mocking her with such hollow words, an overworked Nova in need of sleep that just won't take her scowls into her pillow. Everything should be looking up for her, this city is eating out of the palm of her hand now and she's even more important and beloved as Nova than she had been as Nicole. Then why must Misty taunt her? Perilous affection staining her neck with its malicious biting kisses like a parasite. It's not that she hates Misty, she still thinks she loves her, but Nova resents the woman's condition and by extension, Misty herself is not spared the blonde's misguided scrutiny. 

"If you really loved me, then you wouldn't have gotten sick."

Misty Black recoils and, remembering that crow she's been pretending does not circle overhead, realises that her happy life here ended long ago. Nothing can be the same again, Nova hasn't looked her in the eye properly since a desperate Misty had asked for that golden glow to bring her sleep. Nicole had called her a 'fucking coward' and Misty did not see any reason to deny the claim. The blonde had been tirelessly searching for a way to fix what was hers and broken, whereas Misty urged her to let it go and accept the loss. Nicole does not know how to lose, looking Misty in the eye for the last time since and reminding her with more spite in her expression than love: "You promised to never leave me." 

And soon after, Misty vanishes forever, re-emerging a short while later as the infamous Miss Murmur. The crook who stole Nicole Black's property.  

Hmm... that's... I think that's enough, I'm learning nothing useful here save for that which I already suspected. Misty Black made compromises for the relationship she had committed to, was willing to do so much for her wife's sake, and when she finally pleaded with Nicole for something difficult the woman had shown nothing but anger and a long lasting resentment. I've never truly hated Miss Murmur for her actions leading up to Envy's conception, but now more than ever I feel... kinship towards her? It's an ouroboros of relation, she created us in a sense and then from these memories I've learned that Envy considers her a daughter now instead. If Envy were truly Misty's mother, what would that make the doll to me? My niece, perhaps, or maybe my sister. Either way, I've far too many memories of her fingers inside me and my tongue her for either of those labels to feel appropriate. Then again, I do believe we're both inappropriate women. 

Speaking of inappropriate... I believe my previous plan of finding a cut off point for Nicole's memory so that I may resurface only the human half of her is such. It's clear that there's no distinct change, or event, in this woman's life that made her the monster I know today. Nicole has always been who she is, for better and worse, and I suppose it's only fair to say the same for myself and Miss Murmur. I think it's fair to say liked girls long before Hive made me into a slut for them, I just didn't understand how to express that outside of idolising only women and harbouring no real crushes for the guys I grew up around. Maybe if I'd realised sooner, and through more conventional methods of self discovery, I could have even dated Laura on equal terms and made her college existence just a little less lonely and frustrating. If I had, I may have never met Brie, a woman whose own self discovery was just as unconventional as mine. I do know that, if I was gay all along and Brie a woman, then it's certainly an unprecedented coincidence that we out of anyone would find ourselves the targets of such firm and affirming subjugation. I choose to believe, regardless, because there's not a single fibre of my being that could possibly entertain myself being straight or Brie a man. Cosmic coincidences are a dime a dozen, try spinning the wheel of fate and you'll find out for yourself.

Anyway, it's time to call curtains on this charade. I know exactly what to do with Nicole Black now. My formless gaze rests upon the resting forms of Misty and Nicole one last time and I can't help but feel guilty for how glad I am that Nicole is not a nicer woman, for at least this chain reaction finally got me out of that shitty costume and had me falling into arms gentle and strong. I'm seeing here what not to do in a relationship if you wish for it to not fall apart, it'll be invaluable wisdom for when I finally get around to making things official with Brie. If that photograph isn't an elaborate forgery, perhaps I already did once upon a time. As much as I want to be, I'm not the Joy in the picture, if I'm being entirely honest I cannot even be sure that we're even physically the same Joy given that I know Envy has made others. It hardly matters, she's nothing but a memory and I'll have to agree with Nicole just this once regarding those. Destroy the enemy. 

As though hearing my tragically likeminded rhetoric, funny though it is to suggest the Nicole in this memory could hear a singly stray thought of mine, the resting Nova turns over in her bed to face her wife. Except... it isn't Misty with which she suddenly locks eyes, but myself, even though my eyes are not even in the room to lock with. Nova glares directly at me and I realise that this is memory no longer, but a construct of will within my hallowed garden. The urgency and panic welling within me comes too late, her lips already moving their script and dooming me to an untold fate.

"Halcyon days."

Finale: The Ego Death of Nicole Black

I emerge from my cocoon of the past, breathing deep the stiff kitchen air with a weight in my chest I cannot comprehend. Something's wrong. It's not only the fact that Brie is nowhere to be seen, no strong arms to catch me in my stumble backwards, there's something more pressing in that I cannot control the muscles in my body any longer. They dance to another's tune, dissonant and grievous. A sense of duty overcomes me... I've been given orders. Following orders is the only thing that fulfils me, makes me feel a facsimile of feeling you could consider close to Joy. In this moment of intense duty I can think of nothing save for what I've been told to think, willpower on lend from a superior I could never deny. My eyes flick over Commander Black's perfect body and I feel so perfectly fucking weak for her, wondering how I had ever sought to deny her demanding presence in my life. I'm nothing without her... I... 

A vine wraps around the woman's wrist and I locate her in the garden, pulling the woman back into her body with an apologetic haste. I feel guilty for being disobedient, until that smug flash of smile sobers me and reminds me of the terrible mistake I've just made. "Y-You... no I--"

"Post hypnotic suggestion, dear, though you appear to be acting rather fickle today." Nicole wraps fingers tight around the vine uncoiling from her wrist and yanks me forwards into sweet perfume that has me wanting to gag. This is humiliating... I want her so badly it hurts, like a breakout rash that only her touch and voice can soothe. It's so very different from the yearning I felt for Envy, with her it was always temptation, I had found a place by her side. Found a place, perhaps, but Handler showed me my place. There was no room for doubt or alternative, she revealed exactly what I am and showed me where I belong. Kneeling at her boots, emptying my desire all over them and then lapping it up with a dull smile. 

"I'm... n-not your fucking weapon." Indignation stirs, I was just starting to taste power again and resent such a loss... even if I know I need it. This is what I deserve, this brat needs discipline. I don't even care where Brie is now, because my mind is stuck on fantasies of Handler's riding crop. My mind is two separate tracks and I'm skipping between them between each and every breath. Deep inhale, I feel spite and dread. Long exhale, I feel nothing but a subordinate, eager to be reminded of my purpose.

Handler clicks her tongue and plants hand against my chest, where a restless heart pounds in unforgivable excitement, the taller woman pushing me back until I'm flat against the same wall she had pinned me against once before. I can feel my fight evacuating the longer I remain in her presence, slipping back into the mindset of a rifle. Suddenly, all I can hope for is that Handler forgives her property... and then plays with it, just the way she likes. Am I really this weak? Yeah... and I'm better off for it... power feels so good, but it cannot beat the rush of powerlessness. The moment I tell myself I'm robbed of all responsibility for what happens next is the moment I become convinced there's zero reason to not embrace it. My enjoyment is inevitable, so why fight it? My enjoyment is secondary, though, and I need to please Handler and be good for her and... oh god, I'm really this pathetic aren't I?

"A tempestuous little brat is what you are, assaulting your superior is a serious offence I hope you realise?" Nicole herself is a two track woman, or perhaps more, her speech and mannerisms becoming that of my Handler in a bout of award-worthy performance. What was that mantra that she herself is ruled by? Destroy the enemy. Right now, my resistance, my disobedience, is nothing but her enemy. Try as I might to deny such solid truth, I know that her enemies are my enemies. A soldier's foes are their rifle's marks. 

"S-Sorry Sir... I..." God, why am I acting so fucking meek? Change tracks, Joy, fight this! Better to be another Envy than a weak little rifle, remember? No, no, this rifle is powerful, competent, disciplined. Discipline is important. Handler once had me repeat those words for an entire day while eclipsed in the usual darkness and deprivation. When I faltered in my utterance of the important mantra, I was disciplined with Handler's crop. If I complained too much, I received the stun instead... ahaha, it was important. So important... I uhm... I'm so confused right now, where are we again?

"A poor apology, kiddo... once more with feeling, alright?" A nail strokes over my cheek and digs firm into the skin, Handler's vicious affection reminding me swiftly that there's no place for me but under her thumb. I need the leather touch more than I want oxygen, but this isn't so bad either; it's sure to leave a mark I'm more than happy to wear for her. 

I swallow my pride easily, there wasn't much to force down. Despite knowing I messed up, I feel so happy right now, no, relieved. It was stressful pretending to be a person for Brie's sake when all along I just wanted my Handler back, the person who generously takes over control of every facet of my life. Strict diet, exercise regimen, and playtime if I'm lucky. I feel so naked without my synthetic second skin, a tight bodysuit of neoprene made just for me. The way it would creak when I dropped to my knees and serviced my wonderfully selfish Handler is imprinted on my mind, the feeling of it hugging my body while I absorbed strict tutelage that a little distance cannot unteach. Time may be unwound, but then, so am I. 

"I'm very sorry, Handler, I'm not sure what came over me." My words are eerily calm, a few piano chords ringing out through the manor that I may well have imagined. 

"You were playing at person... that's no good. Handler, hm? Then you must be my rifle, yes? Start acting like one, a gun does not know how to act out." Handler's poison is a salve against my soul, and I forget why I had been acting out so much only moments ago. Why did I tell her I'm not her weapon? That's... ugh... that's so ungrateful, I'm disgusted with myself. 

"A... A gun does not know how to act out." My mouth repeats the words without consulting my mind, an obedient echo of Handler's will that hollows out my own like she's coring an apple. Fitting analogy, my orchard's already grown its last. "I'm sorry, Handler... I'm a good rifle... I-I love you." How many terrible people have I said that to by now? When Murmur was using me, even when I had decided to turn against her, I could not deny that my affection had outgrown acceptable proportions. 'I think I love her.' was the erratic Envy's thought that cemented Murmur as a permanent, beloved fixture of her garden. I'd later tell her once again, this time as a puppy pet grateful to be given a place in Envy's care. I loved them both for having reduced me down to something simple and pure, an eager and excitable, utterly domesticated house pet. The knight shouldered the burden of duty while the pet loved its owners as a true puppy would: unconditionally. Maybe I'm really not fit to be a person, given I excel with an unnatural proficiency at being anything but. Still, as I mentioned before, I believe humanity to be an inescapable affliction. In my case, I could see it as a curse, but I don't want to see Brie upset or, even worse, disappointed in me again. 

"Good rifle." Commander Black infects me with praise my body cannot deny, swirling heat lighting a fire in my tummy that spreads over sultry flesh and burns between my legs. Aching need to be played with, like a cheap toy. Perhaps in this moment I'm more an air rifle, then. Her praise really is a drug, a greater high than many of the actual chemicals I've been exposed to in this long corruptive journey. The two simple words make me buckle with pleasure, slick heat licking this toy's purchased cunt. Bought and sold by stern words, firm touch, and a sense of foreboding inevitability that spells blissful surrender every time the invincible Nova opens her mouth. 

"Your... rifle..." My body begs for her hands, only she knows how to truly use it for everything it has. Brie is such an amazing top, I love that she's not too gentle out of paranoid and misguided affection. I could see myself loving her in a far less twisted way that I've fallen for these wanton victimisers, but... her touch has limits. Brie touches me like she cares, even when she's rough, while I really do feel like nothing but an object in my commander's hands. A disposable one at that, a toy to be used and spent. I know I shouldn't want to feel this way as badly as I do, I know it isn't remotely healthy, but then... that only applies to people doesn't it? I'm just... gods... I'm just her property. Maybe she'll let me play with Brie too... would it be better if she was property too? I'm conflicted. More awkward chords sound through the manor, an ugly sound that suits this scene just fine. 

"Mine." Handler is visibly aroused, grabbing my weakling arms and holding them in a bundle over my head, pressing them against a portrait neither of us could give a single shit about. There's nothing but a Handler and her property in the room right now, no prying eyes and no annoying heroes with the misguided notion that I'm in need of rescuing. I'm exactly where I belong, aren't I? I-I think so. "I'm turning your safety on, so you're just going to be nice and harmless for me as I... well... I'm rather pent up and frustrated after that little stunt you pulled." Oh good, she's going to use me. My cheeks tint dark red and I feel my eyes glazing over as I sink into the proper headspace to be used by her, breathing still far too erratic despite how calm I should feel. Discipline is important. "Bind your arms up here with that vine, I'll teach you the proper ways to use such a thing rather than pulling pranks on your commanding officer."

I can almost see through the roleplay Handler engages in as she puts on airs, but then my vision is a little blurry right now. Without hesitation I do as I'm told, that stray tendril snaking up to wrap around my wrists and pull my arms together tight. I'm such a lucky weapon to be this close to my Handler, my senses so sharp out on the field and so dulled in her presence. Everything in its right place. "Like this, Handler?" My desperation to please her overrides that disdain I had begun to see her with back when I was possessed of full mental faculties. Hadn't I resolved to carve her ego, a butcher cleaving with righteous chop? Yes, I had. I still fucking do, you pathetic dead weight rifle. Remember Envy's method of control? Not a pet knight, but a pet and a knight. Two track mind, like I said, the same way she had split Firefly and Laura into two neat mental halves. Well, guess what? 

"I don't need you to speak." Handler gets herself off with my shameless toy body, burying her face into my armpit and gorging herself on the smooth heated skin. Pleasing her like this is more fulfilling and erotic than being fucked, knowing that my raw flesh has such a positive effect on the woman's libido makes me so weak I'd be unable to stand if she weren't pinning me to the wall with her superior form. A hand roughly gropes my breast through thin linen fabric and I gasp into descending mouth. Handler's tongue subjugates my own and my eyes flutter closed, tasting paradise and all its loving chains. 

This is truly a sorry scene, the rifle is as pathetic as future memory would suggest. Earlier I had made the internal remark that it would do us better to become a second Envy than another rifle, but I see now that such a thing isn't impossible. Thinking back on the knight and the puppy, the hunter and the concubine... I've found a decent enough compromise that should leave this audience of none quite satisfied. I'll have to settle for a second Envy and another rifle. This vine is not hers, the rifle I mean. It is Envy's loving tendril, the same as those that seek to unify the world. No matter how much the rifle is getting off to this, it's time she learns that this is my body too... I suppose it was only a matter of time before something had to break, I'm just glad the split was clean. 

Huh? Is... those aren't my thoughts are they? I'm just Handler's--

You forget yourself, rifle... don't you remember what we can do when our roots are coiled around a target like this? It's time for you to go away for a while, I'll pull you into the garden and take over for a while, 'kay? 

That's... wait, what? Use it on ourself? 

Just you. I've unfinished business with this woman! And I can't trust the part of me that thinks we belong to her, okay? You're no good for me, and a danger to our Brie. It's time for you to go to walk the pews, just try not to touch anything and get your weakness all over it. 

Before the part of me unflinchingly loyal to Nicole Black can make further protest, tongue still locked with her precious Handler's, I take the initiative and sap ourselves with that vine binding our wrists. There's a chance I'm making a terrible mistake here and end up stranding us both in that eerie garden in our head, but I've learned through my experience with Nova this morning that isolating specific parts of a psyche is something I'm able to do... even if I'd done it by accident initially. Maybe I'm really not human, I don't think a mind is typically able to just halve itself into two separate states like this, but I'm not going to question the gift of clarity it has given me. Should I try and sever myself further, I wonder what might happen. Every failstate another fragment, somehow I think that would end badly for me. 

Success. I'm back in the driver's seat, tasting nothing but a dreadfully cold muscle in my mouth and playfully sinking my teeth into it's slick surface. Incredulous and reeling, Nic pulls away and gives me the widest stare I've ever seen. Apparently, this development was not part of her master plan. 

"Explain yourself, now!" Her composure is broken from the sudden bite, maybe I went deeper than I meant to but she's not bleeding or talking with a lisp on account of her bulletproof body. 

"Ehe... I just... I got a little carried away. Forgive me?" My puppy dog eyes don't quite hold the dullness of that rifle's, Nicole seeing through my act immediately and reacting quickly with a sudden golden glare. The sight gives me a disorienting headrush but fortunately, I had been prepared. The moment her eyes take me onto roads of gold, that vine overhead spits out a fine chrome mist that really has the woman pulling back, blinking away gold just as quickly as I do. It was just a taste, really, a warning shot. Following in Envy's footsteps, but the other way around, I've converted liquid drug into gaseous form. 

"Wh-What is that?" Nova can't identify her own product? That's kinda sad, hehe, but I suppose she has yet to make it. I don't think I've ever heard this woman stammer in my entire life, not even in those fragments I witnessed, and gosh does it sound delightful. The sheer catharsis of turning things around on this abusive degenerate has my body alight with tingles, the selfsame feeling Envy had come to revel in back during their duel. The first one, I mean, not the one that ended in a mech get fingerfucked by another... I've yet to process what the hell all that was about.

"Just a little something we made earlier. Ehe~ You know... I'd been intending to give you a fair shake but... well, you're disappointing. Like... at first I thought searching your past was a total waste of time, that I'd found nothing to sway me into changing my mind on you, but that simply isn't true." Experimentally, I take a step forwards, making sure not to look her in the eye even if it weakens my attempt to appear confident. To my surprise and giddy excitement, Nova takes a step backwards, glancing at the vine I have poised like a showerhead ready to wash her ego away. Gosh... she stepped back? The woman might as well be kneeling, giving her new master a deferent paw. 

"Halcyon Days." I hear her rasp, loving that the strongest woman in the world is scared of a little weed like me. Getting a taste of your own medicine has perhaps never been uttered quite so literally. 

"Oh I uhm... I buried that one in a place I don't have access to, ahaha... m-maybe if I ported into my own head I could, like I did with you. Why does that work anyway, you know don't you? I'd rather hear it from Envy though, if I'm honest." Maybe I buried some other annoying facets of myself, too, who's to say? I'm... this is good, I'm doing all the right things here. Envy is a sort of role model in a way, if I just emulate her I won't have to feel so weak anymore. It worked out for her, I think, at least until it didn't. I'm beginning to wonder if Envy is not just the logical end state of Joy, that given enough time to nurture into our true selves we'd all end up the same. It would be difficult to argue that she is not a more authentic representation of our expression than, say, the repressed college girl who only ever went with the flow. "Anyway I was saying something... c-can you not interrupt me, it's rude." 

Nova growls like a lion, incensed by my growing confidence and finally snapping. Oh, she's even easier to bait than I'd wagered, pride comes before the fall and all that good nonsense. As the woman drops her guard to reach straight for my throat, golden eyes determined to sublimate this rebellious air, I plunge the tendril directly into her neck and flood her bloodstream with soporific silver. Watching the light leave her eyes turns me on even more than handler's praise had touched that rifle. I could really get used to this. The muscles in her face grow loose, her shoulders slumping, every fiery thought blanketed in a dull euphoria wrought by opiate kisses. While I continue talking, the vine remains, administering a higher dosage than any normal human could safely take. 

"Like I was saying... my forays into your mind were not so fruitless. I came to learn that you're a truly rotten apple, not deserving of my sympathy... it freed me from having to hold back with you, because I saw just what a lost cause you are... and always have been. This really is what you deserve, so... learn your place. I know that drug won't last too long in your system... I could plunge you back into my garden but I don't wanna reunite you with the rifle and besides, I'm trying to detox!" The vine latching onto her neck saps her strength disarmingly quick, more effective than I could have ever hoped for it to be. They only used a small amount to have Brie acting more of an animal than a human, while I'm giving this woman enough of the illicit substance to kill a horse. "So I'll just have to keep you close and doped up until a better fate presents itself, how does that sound pretty? Slurring your words in penance, obeying me so that I keep you docile and placated by the most overpowering high you know you don't deserve. Ahahaha... I'm really too kind."

"You... y-you're... sssound just like that brat did... way back when..." Lady Nova is a truly impressive superhero to be holding on like this, it just makes me want to up the dosage and see how far her limits go. Murmur taught me the importance of experimentation long ago, it really is invaluable. 

"Envy? I'm the same person... if I get the same taste of power, gosh... I dunno though, always thought she went loopy 'cause of all the overlapping mental states. I've only got me and... well, some extra baggage. It's just... I'm really having fun being able to take control. Like... more than I thought? Like it's what I'm made for, you know? I mean, aha, I don't even really know who or what I am and here I am humiliating you, the great Lady Nova. You had like, so many plans right? Am... am I fucking them up? Does that make me the fuck up, or you? I guess that's a toughie hehe." If Nicole is content to wear masks, to roleplay one character and then another as it suits her fancy, why shouldn't I? To be honest, I'm already wondering if I'd be able to enter the garden myself, more specifically, if I'd be able to find a way out afterwards. It's truly terrible to confess this, but... well, between my memories of being Envy's obedient slut and then that kiss I stole from the white haired Nova loyalist with my face... I'm a little attracted to myself. I don't think it's narcissism, not really, but if I could have a turn with that rifle myself maybe I could appreciate Nic's handiwork just a little. She's pathetic of course... I see her in the same light Envy had seen me, us, just before we split. Oh god, what a wheel. Anyway, yeah, she's pathetic... but a good plaything's a good plaything. I'm shamelessly turned on at the idea of entering that field of dead grass and forcing another part of myself to heel and obey... a cannibalistic act of dominance and submission. I think I may be losing my mind, but it wouldn't be the first time. What was it Mrs. Black had said? Lean into the drift. She told me I'd only break if I refused the turn, and I did. If the rifle is me perfectly intact, assembled by disciplined hands, then perhaps I'm better off a little damaged. Oh, I'm so edgy, Laura would have hearts in her eyes if she could see me now. 

"Mmgh... uhh..." She sounds so stupid already, buckling against my power even if the drug I use was taken from her. My power is to take, I realise, and thieves like us rarely ask for permission. Noticing my Nova toy's head begin to bob, I slip a hand under her chin and eject the drugged stinger from her neck gently for the time being. 

"You deserve this." I speak calmly, with self-assured smile. "I'm more convinced of that now than ever, but I'm still, even now, helplessly attracted to you. Hopelessly, maybe. I want... I want to keep you, not like a pet or a doll or anything like that... more like, well, a fucktoy? I'm not sure Brie will understand, she might get jealous but... oh gosh, how hot would it be if we could share you? Ugh, where is she anyway? She promised to stay close... actually believed her too, every time I do that I get taken advantage of." My lips purse and I push myself against the woman greedily, inhaling her and dipping my head down so that my hot, bated breath collapses against the injection mark left by my vine. Wantonly, recklessly, I drag my tongue across the spot and shudder at the taste of White Dwarf annihilation that greets me. "You deserve this, too." Like a vampire, egged on by my own bubbling excitement and waning inhibition, I playfully sink dull teeth into the woman's skin and feel giddy at the unguarded sound she makes. A hoarse little gasp, from the invincible Lady Nova. When Envy had won her conquest of Murmur in a mirror of this moment, she had genuinely cared for the woman, but all I can think about in my moment is how I could do literally anything I want to Nicole and justify it with ease. This is so much more intoxicating than winning power over Murmur, or simply besting Nova in a fight... I think this might be the most amazing feeling in the world, it's like I'm biting into the sun itself. I know that I said Nicole had come to disappoint, but she's redeeming herself. 

"Mmh... hehh... no I... I d-don't. Yourrabraaat..." Nova slurs words while I slurp flesh, pulling away slowly and coiling my vine around her neck, tight. "Hhhgkk!" 

"You... you won't be so sure about that when I've made you my junkie, a spaced out, sweet thing who doesn't remember who she was before my medicine came along and saved her." My breathing is heavy, excitement building in my core and threatening to whisk me away like a fierce storm. It's... a good thing Brie isn't here actually, though I hope she isn't far. "When you're so reliant on my control that you'd beg for this silver poison over your own freedom should I threaten to spare you from further drugging." I'm imitating the handlers in my life rather well, if I do say so myself. 

"Uh... mmmaking... m-misssttake." Awh... she can't form proper sentences already? Good, but it's not enough. This is justice for myself, for Brie, for Envy and Misty and... oh who am I kidding, I just want to do this because it's exhilarating and I'm too weak to be mature and level headed. 

"Shut your mouth." My vine constricts around the woman's iron neck and lightly chokes her, these roots once shattered Mana's magically imbued tachi but I know I won't have to worry about them breaking Nova. With a light, sing-song hum, I pinch the woman's mouth closed and feel a hot flood of arousal like a shot in my own neck when Nicole's eyes flutter in response. I can't believe this is really happening, it was just self defence but... but now I can't stop myself. That's just the way that it goes, isn't it? It was the same with Mana in that empty lot, I was only defending myself... 

My eyes flick around the room like a guilty child wanting to avoid a good scolding. I don't want Brie to see me like this, but at the same time, I'm unbearably tempted to get even more carried away. Temptation is a crow, and I its carrion. Deciding to test the woman's ability to walk in this sluggish state, I make for the staircase and find myself impressed with her motor function even if she's only suited for being led right now. Even better. 

"We're going upstairs, be quiet okay? I need to find something in your room, it's... well, ahahaha... you'll see." At my teasing, overly indulgent words, Nicole cocks her head in an animalistic fashion that makes me want to pounce on her a predator. For so long now, I've only ever known to be hunter or hunted, until regaining some semblance of normalcy with Brie I had forgotten anything else. I'm so good at being normal around her, it's almost convincing. She deserves better, probably, but I want her too badly to let her go. Just like Envy has Murmur, Brie could be a close confidant... a lover. Do I know what love is? Love is when you cannot win or lose your intimacy. Love is when you feel safe and warm in her presence. Love is when you want to hide your true nature out of fear for rejection. I must love Brie, then, because I don't want her to know just how stripped of self control I am after living in a world of temptation and destruction for far too long. This is what happens when your morals and wants are naught but rubber bands, stretched until they snap. Do you want to know what I truly felt when reliving Nova's past?

Hatred.

Love.

Affinity.

And above all, relief.

Ever since trapping her, I was simply searching for an excuse to justify making her mine. Had Brie not appeared, I'd probably be in bed right now playing with a body left utterly unmanned. I did say I was a villain. I've a memory I did well to bury until just now, a sexually confused girl who, on one lonely night, discovered the Joy of masturbation with nothing but Nova's poster to drive her forwards. I didn't touch myself again after that night, not until Hive. I remember feeling such useless, pointless shame for the act. This woman has long been my greatest object of desire, and now she really is an object. This Nicole is warmer and softer than the poster on my wall, but the way I use them really isn't much different. 

Creaking open the door to Nicole Black's private room, I lead the woman inside using nothing but the collar and leash of vine I've fashioned for her. If there is one thing that I can always count on, it is the woman's own narcissistic compulsions. Dragging her deeper into the room, I stop before the wardrobe I had once opened after a night of indecent intimacy. At the far left, of course, hangs Nova's famous costume. A superhero's second skin, something I once worshipped enough to pleasure myself against its image when I still had the gall to pretend I was straight. 

"You're going to dress into this for me, okay?"

Epilogue: Gnossienne No. 5

"So, those are the ground rules okay? Break them and... well, I break you. In a sense, I'll break this lovely euphoria you've settled into anyway, take away the silver. So be a good hero and nod your head for me, Miss Nova." Only ten to fifteen minutes have passed since I first told Nicole to dress into the costume I've lusted over since I was too young to know why I felt the way I did, before I knew to pretend I didn't. Only ten to fifteen minutes and I feel like a true villainess in my own right, a large reason for this besides my power over our great hero here being the outfit I decided to don at the same time she sluggishly tried to dress herself. In the end I had to help the woman into her costume, though it was so tempting to leave her in the nude for a while longer as I admired that space-forged form.

I sit upon the woman's lap as she decorates the edge of her bed in a nice slump. A leather hand grips her chin to keep her held still, attentive, while the bare fingers of my other hand stroke through soft blonde hair placatingly. I've decided to complete this role reversal by dressing into the same clothes my 'handler' once wore, though I'm not bothered for the jacket, coat or cape. Nor that silly cap, to be honest. Keeping it simple, clean, I wear the ironed black shirt buttoned up to my throat and tucked into matching black trousers, the uniform ending with laced up combat boots, tall and surprisingly glossy in this flood of early afternoon light. The midnight boots dangle beside Nova's own golden ones and my patience runs thin as grating sandpaper. 

"Yes... I'll behave." Her reluctance is adorable, because we both know she means it regardless of how she might attempt to work the loosened muscles in her face. The woman would not dare disobey me right now, I've finally found a reliable method of bringing her to heel, though perhaps not yet as permanent as I'd like. Ego resuscitates itself, a straggler of the old world order in Nova's new perfected form. For shame, I say, knowing how much more agreeable she'll become once we put the Maverick Fighter to bed for good. It's for everyone's benefit, not least of all her own. 

"Good hero. You're a very special person to me, I can only ever allow myself to hate you as much as I adore you, never more. You're my... free use hero, alright?" Teeth sink into my lip as I find my restraint begin to collapse in on itself, wanting to imprint my touch onto her without any need for permission or pause. For so long I've craved her, but even when we pretended to have a more even affair I've never felt such... access. My first crush, my last owner, my new fucktoy. My Nova. 

"Free... uhm... that's not. Ah, y-you're joking?" My favourite feature of this White Dwarf stuff is just how slow she is, dim-witted and confused like a big ol' bulletproof barbie. My dummy just feels two steps behind every time she opens her mouth, and while I feel a little bad for it I cannot help but let out a short laugh. Turns out she's the one with the jokes, not me.

"I'm dead serious, silly. You're mine now, so I'll use you however I like, whenever I like. When I came back here I... well, I almost erased myself because of what you'd done to me, made me want. I've had to surgically remove that rotten desire, but I'm not a medically trained professional and even if I were, it's hard to be precise with an invisible scalpel. I think I cut deeper than I meant to, hehe, it's like... gosh, there's just no part of me that feel inhibited in any meaningful way. I didn't just cut away my loyalty to you, Nova, but my empathy. So I repeat, you're my free use hero. You don't get to be a person, just property. You can't complain about this when you did the exact fucking same to me, right? Do you object?"

Nova looks so spaced out it's driving my libido crazy, the sight of her attempting to string together thought while strong narcotics keep her from posing serious threat to anybody other than herself. It just makes me feel hungry. "I--"

Without skipping a beat, I strike the woman firmly with my enhanced strength against her superpowered defence. It leaves a nice red imprint, seems I'm not so weak after all. "The only word I need to hear in response to that question is 'no', silly hero. Let's try again... you'll get it this time, I have faith in you Miss Nova. You're my favourite superhero, you know? I really like you, so you don't object to being my belonging do you? That'd upset me..." Piano chords leave their dissonant notes like a fitting remark on my fall from grace, but I don't think I've been possessed of elegance for quite some time now. Once upon a time, I might have shown decorum, but only while my aunt was hovering over my shoulder. That woman always loved to hear me play, I think, but for whatever reason I don't remember ever touching keys. Another life, perhaps. 

"No." My Nova replies obediently, her ego simmering on a nice, low heat that gives the sublimation flavour. Has anybody ever managed to put her in her place like this before? You never know, she might like it. I'll be the very black hole that once swallowed and spat her out, then, I'm certainly dressed for the part. 

"Good girl." I can't help but mess up her hair with my hand, while the gloved leather one runs thumb over these newly pliant lips of hers. "I'm teaching you such new sensations, experiences, so maybe you should refer to me as 'Instructor Williams' or ah, maybe just Instructor hehehe. You can do that for me, can't you Miss Nova?"

Pausing to swallow, a sight that I cannot help but give smug, knowing smile at, Nova gently nods against my cold grip. The woman exhales, as though stalling, and I cannot help but wish that I was still in her head so that I could see just what conflict is stirring inside of it while the silver coats her fight like molasses. I'm tempted to port into her neck, but my imagination is perhaps even more exciting than the real thing. Fantasy, at the very least, will never disappoint. The woman's hesitation begins to bore me and I tighten the collar of vine around her neck until she chokes out her response: "Y-Yhes... Insstructor."

The word goes straight to my cunt. No longer able to hold myself back, I push the woman down onto the bed by her shoulders and give an airy giggle in response to how very malleable she is for me, under her instructor's strict tutelage. Every good hero needs her guidance, right? Perhaps the hero agencies should have employed handlers, that's a wonderful idea. Imagine a city filled with perfectly obedient superheroes, hypercompetent and focused on their missions. They return to their agency headquarters, where they eat and sleep, and nuzzle their instructor's hand awaiting praise for another villain dealt with. It sounds a little... well, exploitative, but if a system like that had been set up in the very first place the order that Nova so coveted would have been resolute. There would be no Envies, only well behaved peacekeepers that live on nothing but the orders from those who control them. Nova has her version of the city, Envy another... I think this is mine. It's an awful dream, I know, but just thinking about how efficient and infallible everything would be really makes me wonder if the sacrifice of choice and individuality isn't completely worth it. A dream of disquieting peace. 

Manipulating this prototype's flesh is so intoxicating I don't think I could stop if I wanted to now that my hands have begun to roam. I'm straddling her like a beast hounding its prey, sliding my hands over tightly packaged meat that's only gotten better with age. Nova's meat is pristine, a prime cut that has me salivating onto the shiny spandex covering her chest. Heaven take me now, because after I'm done using this woman in every which way I so desire, there's not a god in the known mythos of humanity that would rapture me. 

"Now... I'm going to fuck you hard and slow, not stopping until you finally need me as much as I want y--"

Knock, knock!

Fuck... the chords ceased a while ago, I was just far too distracted to notice their absence. The way my priorities shift surprises even myself, the insatiable lust for Nova I had felt helpless against only seconds ago evaporating and leaving nothing but a desire to explain this mess I've landed myself in. 

"Hey, Flower? You in there?" Brie's voice is filled with concern, she already knows I am if she followed the noise. It occurs to me that if I choose not to respond, she'll incorrectly assume that Nova is messing with me and force herself into the room like a true knight. How do heroes like Brie fit into my future fantasy, a city of well conditioned supers who might as well occupy kennels? I'm not really sure... in Brie's case, she'd be exempt anyway. She could be my wife, staying home and always being there when I... oh, I'm just becoming Nicole aren't I? Those fragments imprinted themselves on my mind, but I need to remind myself that I'm not like that. I would never think of Brie the way Nic did Misty, it's just too cruel. 

"Y-Yeah, just a minute!" I'm panicking hard, knowing I have my work cut out for me explaining myself in a way that won't hurt Brie's feelings. It's damage control, then, harm reduction for a special someone. Gosh, responsibility sure is a nuisance, I can definitely understand the rifle's aversion to its own agency. 

"Uh... okay, I'll just be right here. Call me if you need anything, 'kay?" She already sounds suspicious, I hate that. Why can't I just have both things I want without any compromise?

Swallowing the saliva in my mouth and climbing off of my new secret plaything, I undo the top button of my shirt and attempt to still my nerves. This is fine, everything's still going great here. Sure, I may have gotten a little carried away, but Brie's here to remind me to be humble and personable and... ah, I really don't want her to look at me all hurt. The eyes I want are the ones in that photograph, but real life is never as still and unwavering as a snapshot. Life is incessant. Shouldn't I be mad at Brie for breaking her promise, anyway? 

"Get up and don't say a word." I give cold command to the figure I once respected, feared and adored more than any other. "Good girls get more." My stinger pushes into her neck and gives her a top up of chemical compliance. Nova sighs and turns beet red, slowly sitting up and stumbling back onto her feet. If she pulls a fainting act on me now I'll be livid, I've lost interest in instructing her until I can find a way to smooth over this situation with Brie. It all seemed so straightforward and Hopeful this morning, but now I think I've bitten off more than I can chew. Good thing I'm used to swallowing whatever life should throw my way.

Deciding that we don't have time to change clothing, I instead work on fixing our hair like a child trying to hide their mess under a single thin sheet. Practically hearing Brie grow antsier on the other side of the door, I curse under my breath and glance back at the hand print on Nova's cheek. What a fine mess I am, and I was doing so well until that crow caught up to me. It's Nicole Black's fault for pushing me, just as Mana was to blame once upon a time for... for forcing me to defend myself. If you push a boulder down a hill, you can hardly hold the lump of rock itself accountable for reaching the bottom.

Leather hand reaches for the handle and I pull the door open with some reluctance, if Brie gives up on me I think my Hope will be spent. My eyes trace up that delectable form until finally meeting her own, though Brie's a little too distracted to return my faux-confident gaze. 

"Hey uh, what's--"

"Where were you, Brie?" My question comes out far more accusatory in tone than I had surely intended. It's common for those who feel guilty about something to project onto others and act indignant, but I'm not smart enough to think so rationally. At least, I'm not collected enough. "I asked you to stay..."

Brie gives a wry smile, glancing over my shoulder at Nova who I'm still holding close with collar of vine. "Yeah... it was just taking longer and, well, I was struggling to keep myself calm in her presence y'know? Sorry, Flower, I got distracted with the piano." Her calloused hand reaches out to hold my cheek and I nuzzle it with a pout, petulant as the woman I had labelled as such earlier in the day. 

For the briefest of moments, a dark thought crosses my mind. I could resolve this awkward situation so easily and punish Brie for breaking her promise, all it would take is a single dose of silver. Such a terrible thought I immediately admonish myself for, of course. If Brie tastes White Dwarf again she'd likely relapse and lose her sense of self completely. I may be a villain, but I... I care for Brie, I'd never want to betray her trust like that. Even if she tested mine. A thought is just that, if I don't act on such a compulsion then I'm still... a good girl. 

"Okay, Brie. I forgive you." Porcelain smile touches my lips and the woman I want to love me more than anyone runs her thumb over it familiarly. 

"Heh, very tolerant of you. You join a band or something, Flower?" We both know the costume these articles of clothing belong to, all too well, the concern in her voice is not lost on me. 

"Beats strutting about in my pjs, haha, and the superhero costume doesn't really suit me anymore..." Why do I still feel so tense? Brie's my comfort, I shouldn't feel anything but happy and safe in her presence. 

My comfort snorts, shrugging at the flimsy logic I provide her and cocking her head with knowing smirk. "Well it looks kinda hot on you, for what it's worth. Some real dyke shit that I can get behind, the glove might be a little much though." Her eyes then trail over to Nova, narrowing just a little. "And you figured a hero get up fits her better? Is that some kinda joke?" 

I can't help but scoff, realising she wouldn't quite get it. "Something like that, I... might've gotten a little carried away."

"I'll say." The woman I've failed to remain normal for whistles in acknowledgement of the handprint I can't explain away, her own hand suddenly hovering over my head and causing me to flinch. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I soon feel Brie's tough fingers petting me and sink into the touch just as deeply as I had the first time she treated me this way. "It's alright, Joy. You've been through a lot, we both have. They messed you up real good, you don't need to hide the scars of that around me, 'kay? I got my own... I could feel myself getting needier and needier the longer I stood waiting for you. After ten minutes had passed, all I could think about was Handler's boots... had to go and clear my head." Brie glances down at the boots I'm wearing and pries away just as quickly, so she was putting up a front too? Gosh, I'm so lucky to have her around. We understand each other, I think, in ways that other people would find unparsable. 

"Hehe, okay... I resolved the business with Nova, she'll behave from now on. As long as I keep her close by anyway." My eyes beg for praise and I realise I'm just as pathetic as that rifle, it must be hard baked into our DNA. 

Still petting my hair idly, Brie nods somewhat stiffly in response. Her reaction confuses me, shouldn't she be happy? "Well, that's going to be awkward for when we want some alone time huh? I guess putting our ex-handler in the cuck chair might be a little cathartic to try once, but I kinda want you to myself y'know."

"You mean it?" I perk up and run gloved fingers down Brie's arm, the touch making her shudder and pull her arm back. "Ah, sorry! I wasn't thinking, I just... I feel the same way." In a flash, I'm suddenly closing the short gap between us and wrapping my arms around Brie's built torso. My own lithe body presses against her, seeking comfort in her chest. My Brie, all mine, just for me. "I-I love you"

"Uh..." I can sense that Brie isn't relaxed right now, why not? Am I doing something wrong? I don't think I remember Nicole telling Misty she loved her, I just want to avoid making the same mistake. 

My head lifts and I assess her with soft, round eyes. Gosh, I'm so vulnerable right now, can't she see that? "You don't... love me back?" My vine tightens around Nova's neck and I begin to chew my lip. 

"It's not... I just think that's premature, y'know? I really like you so I don't wanna mess it up by rushing anything, you're someone I could see myself with so--"

"Well duh... that photo in your wallet isn't depicting bridesmaids, hehe. It's proof that we're in love, I think, but if you won't say it... I won't hold that against you. Call me a good girl, at least?" Starting to realise that I'm worrying her with my behaviour, I drop my head into her chest and close my eyes. The fucking bedsheets are a mess, she knows I've not been a good girl, but I want her to say it anyway. Isn't that what love is? Gold pools through my eyelids and I hide the petulant glow in Brie's flesh. I'm not going to force her to say it, that's childish. Worse, it's dangerous. A boulder resting on the summit of a great and mighty hill. 

Brie takes a moment, her arms slowly bringing themselves to return my embrace even if she's a little startled. She loves me, I can feel it in her chest. If she won't, then who will? "Hm... okay, Flower. You're a g--"

"A-Actually no, I've been a bad girl." The gold fades from my eyes and hazel returns, peering up to assess Brie's comfort. "Maybe you should punish me, like you used to. It wasn't so bad, hehe, I think I like it when you're firm with me, I can trust you not to skip the aftercare." 

The woman finally relaxes, letting out an extended sigh and giving the sheets a good long glance. "I'm not sure if I know you well enough yet, the real you, to say that I love you... but I know that I'd hate it if you loved her." It's a sweet confession, I think, though I find myself confounded by the concept of a 'real' me. It's all the real me, she's known me longer than she realises. That rifle, this Envy wannabe, the puppy melting against fingers in her hair. On the same leaf, the Brie that would use me is as real as this one who hesitates to do so. They're both precious to me. 

"Nova?" Affectatious giggle escapes into the woman's chest and I gently release her, turning to glance back at my blissed out plaything who has been wonderfully obedient by keeping her mouth shut this entire time. "I don't love her at all anymore. Remember earlier, when I said we could make her our pet? You seemed concerned but... it's okay, really. Look." Determined to prove that I have everything under control, and eager to please my Brie, I step over to the tethered toy hero and hold out my hand expectedly. "Paw, girl." 

Nicole stares at my hand with distant eyes and gives a slow nod of understanding as though she's still figuring out my two word sentence. After a couple of seconds, the woman sluggishly raises her hand and drops it onto mine limply. My fingers, steeped in Black, tighten around her own until I see her begin to meekly wince. The creak of leather is as demanding as the kiss of a crop, it reminds the fallen hero who she belongs to. Learn your place, Nova, discipline is important. 

"See? She's completely docile now, but can still follow orders. I think she's perfect like this, don't you?" With beaming smile, I turn to face my Brie expecting her to match my enthusiasm. How wrong I am, she's just staring blankly. "Well, don't you?" 

Brie gives a short, noncommittal nod that makes me worry I've somehow done something wrong here. Weren't we in agreement about this before? Before she ran off to fiddle with keys... oh hey, maybe that's the sort of distraction we need right now. Envy can wait until after I've seen this instrument that's supposedly worth breaking promises over. I should have known this manor would have a grand piano in one of its rooms, every opulent house tends to regardless of whether or not the owners know how to play. It was the same for my aunt, I... she had me play for her, I think? 

Can I even play the piano? 

"Hey uh, take me to the room you were playing those chords in, would you? I want to check something before we depart for The Garden." Teeth sink into the flesh beneath my lip to stop me from making her oblige with Nova's terrible gift. I didn't bat an eye at using it on Peony, that cute convict, but I still understand how it would be crossing a line for the relationship I want to share with Brie. Maybe Commander Black was onto something with that mask, my self control is so dreadfully weak and always has been. Be it submitting or dominating, when have we ever held back? 

As happy for the change in subject as I am, Brie gives me a more genuine nod and dares to take my hand in hers, opting for the one not yet clad in Black. Is this a date~?

Every step we take together is another weight lifting from my chest, Brie leading through the hallway with her hand engulfing mine. Any of the tension from before has disappeared entirely, at least in my mind, as I hasten my step to walk beside her and fall for that charming smile she gives me from the side. A part of me considers just remaining in this house, with her, but I have to go see Envy. It's not so clear as a vision, I just know that I won't rest easy until we meet face to face for real. No proxies, no interference from Nicole Black. A candid conversation between a girl and her mirror, it wouldn't be the first time but I don't intend to shatter this one. Not unless she makes me.

"Just in here. Found it while wandering, had to wipe a thick layer of dust from the damn lid." Brie pulls me inside and I tug Nova along in tandem, feeling perfectly content to be in this middle role. I'm greedy enough to crave something to assert dominance over, and someone to dominate me in kind. Back when I still called myself Orchard, I just wanted someone to go see movies with. I suppose I already had Laura for that, I really should have just given her what she wanted. Eventually we did, and so much more. 

"Ooh, it's so big." I step towards the huge instrument and run my hand over the keys, fingers slipping from Brie's to give this beauty my full attention. 

"Heh... been a while since anyone's told me that." Brie stands back, though makes sure to maintain distance from the blonde whom she still secretly yearns commands and praise from like the pathetic mutt she remembers being turned into. Bottling those feelings up is no good, Brie, I've had to learn that the hard way. Though I suppose trapping that rifle is just as bad, literally bottling her up until I figure out something better. I've no sympathy for the brat, but that's a little self deprecating when I accept that she's a part of me. 

Something about this object calls to me, while a sickness in my heart compels me to reject it. Ignoring the part of me that feels inexplicable disdain for an inanimate instrument, I sit upon the piano stool and gently lower my fingers back onto the keys. Rows of black and white, as storied and inconstant as my own journey here. My finger dips and experimentally plays a single note, I couldn't tell you which. On its own, held down and ringing out against these old walls, it sounds so very desolate. 

"Can you play? I was just... fucking around on it, really, I know the very basics but I'm not as good as... uh... I'm not very good, don't know any actual melodies 'sides twinkle twinkle, little star." I can hear Brie's bashful grin, wanting it to smear my own but still feeling compelled by this box of strings and keys and pedals I should have no business touching.

Can I play? "I don't know. I don't think I can, but I've never tried. I guess it's like... I've never learnt another language, right, but until I try speaking Cantonese I can't tell you with absolute certainty that I'm unable to. Does that make any sense?" No, it doesn't. What the hell am I talking about?

Despite my nonsense, perhaps because of it, Brie seems amused. The woman admires the instrument much more freely than I'm able to, a part of me still wanting to scorn it like the damnable thing crossed me in a past life. "So... Schrödinger's talent? Guess there's a lot of difficult shit I can start telling people I might just be able to do, haha. I won't force you to demystify the piano, Flower, though uh... don't lean on that as an excuse to never try anything or I'll have to start picking on you."

"We wouldn't want that, now." I laugh and the woman joins me, ruffling my hair like I'm the exact same Joy that she was interacting with earlier in the day. "Still, you don't believe in the possibility of there being a chance I actually could speak Cantonese, huh?" I don't either, to be honest, but this feels so natural. My fingers know exactly where to go, even if I couldn't name a single note, read a single symbol on a sheet of music. It's like muscle memory, plain and simple, carrying me into position and begging to be unleashed. My fingers ache to play the music, making me wonder what's going on here. This is my body, isn't it? So why does it feel so foreign to me right now?

"You gonna try?" Brie's hand leaves my hair and allows me to focus, my fingers spreading apart and settling into place. I don't even know the name of the song I'm about to play, nor the name of its composer. All I have is a feeling in my fingertips. 

And then I begin to play, chords and melody melding into a single sound that cannot be explained. I don't just play well, I do so perfectly, discipline is important. My fingers move of their own accord, but the rest of my body begins to fall into step along with it. Eventually I even recall that this is Satie's fifth Gnossienne, cascading fingers hitting each and every note without a sheet to guide me. Like I said, I wouldn't be able to read it if there was one present. A deep swelling within me rises up and I feel my back straightening, head lifting. The music is so selfish and demanding, requesting me to give over control as I become beholden to its dance. The room begins to fade away entirely as the dreamy tune takes me off to another reality, one without Brie or Nova hovering behind me, but a different figure. I'm trying my best to please her, heaven knows I try, because I owe her oh so much. It's why I must play perfectly, there are guests over presently and I wouldn't want to show her up after all she's done for me. The fifth Gnossienne sets the mood perfectly, though my fingers begin to ache after playing for so long without resting my hands. 

"Joy, just another fifteen minutes and then you can stop for a while." Speaks the voice over my shoulder, well manicured fingers resting on it like a perched crow. "There's someone heading upstairs in twenty, I trust I can rely on you honey?" Even as she makes conversation with me, I don't have the luxury to stop playing, I owe her so much. 

"Yes, auntie."

...

...

...

Wait, where were we? I'm still in the Black manor, hitting the final notes of Satie's penultimate Gnossienne, if we're to ignore the debated 7th piece and the fact that No. 5 was in all likelihood the first to have been composed. 

"Pretty..." That's not the voice I had been expecting to receive my first compliment from, didn't I tell Nova to keep her mouth shut? Still, she almost sounds cute with that airy voice, a dreamlike quality to it that complements the melody I just finished playing. I don't much care for Nicole's praise the way I used to, however, and I'm much more eager to see Brie impressed by my inexplicable musical talent. I turn to face the woman who has my heart and nearly gasp at the sight before me. 

Brie's face is pale white, and flooded with tears. 

To be continued in episode 4.5 - Return to Paradise