Prologue: Dreaming of Someplace Else

"Who do you belong to, Joy?" 

"Huh?" My face lifts to find a nostalgic room I no longer recall, the sight of it so comforting. I'm placated by this elsewhere I've surely never known, greeting that hopeful smile on the most angelic face I've ever bore witness to with something lesser. A veil of a smile that masks just how emptied out I am, so much so that very little remains of the woman named Joy anymore. I've been a toy for so long and a mouthpiece even longer that it's hard to remember the days I could could consider myself human. I could not rightly claim to be anything but Angel's tool, not with straight face nor even veiled smile. It would be improper to answer that manipulatively vulnerable question her carefully considered manifestation asks me with anything save for: "You, of course."

...

"Wait... why can I think so clearly?" Or at all, I want to ask her with a pleading pant, so pathetic it should spark regret. 

Angel smirks, though I can't be sure if I've really amused her or if she simply wants me to think as much. I decided a long time ago to believe anything she wants me to, that choice of pronouns to start with. She only lets me see her as the woman before me because of my preference, in reality it has no expression of gender. It is a black hole, empty and overwhelming. Nova's golden gravity is a pale imitation of this sheer crushing weight upon my soul, a slow death of ego I sought such succor in. Iterative, fractionating depersonalisation. 

That's right. I asked for this. This is everything, the end of this long road I've been made to walk. This is permissible, a perfectly workable fate, a comforting world in which misery has no purchase. An empty space for Joy. An empty face that shows none.

Naught but that well performed veil which I wear all too well, well enough to need another wiping I would wager. Well enough to trick the god of this world, a wonderful deific beauty that cradles me a child in her hands, my face relaxing against that cold porcelain touch.

"Because you're the favourite, Joy. It pleases to watch that light recede again and again and again, a forever of a fall like the dying of a thousand suns." Angel speaks directly into my mind, long cables running into my back from the ceiling with a thick bundle of six deeply burrowed into the back of my head, port obscured by beautiful strawberry rivers.

"I'll fall forever... so please... s-stop bringing me back up. There's not much left..." Words spill from dullard lips, glossy and dumb. My eyes a distant cherry glaze, I look upon the face of a jailer I begged to take me as hers. My endgame, my everything, my goddess in ceramic flesh. 

Thrumming pulse in the back of my head from that heavy cable drops me to my knees, neoprene suit creaking as my body folds into an acceptable shape of surrender. I am in my proper form now, a prostration that so swiftly sublimates the impurity of want in my damned heart. Fingers hard and cold slide under my chin and earn a shudder, ball joints curving those diligently crafted digits into cupping my face with such firmness. Angel lifts my head in her hand and I can barely make out the features in her porcelain face, the drugs flooding into my system rendering sight rather temperamental. Eyes gently uncross as her words tattoo themselves onto my mind, reminding me very clearly of my chosen place in her eternal care.

"Did you just make a request of me, little crow?"

Her voice, its voice, is a hot knife against my sense of self. This disaster of need requires discipline to relearn its place again, how pitiful. When she pushes the bit gag past my lips and secures it I feel nothing but gratitude, knowing that my errant mouth will be unable to disappoint Angel further for the time being. I'm reduced to an object in her presence, remembering with a dull sense of acceptance that my identity as the woman named Joy is just as much a mask as that calming porcelain smile that looks upon me with a pretence of pride. I bite down and remind myself, itself, that there is no me.

Just another fake.

Chapter One: Relapse Removed of Rook

Stepping onto transport helicopter, I inhale the fresh scent of war with a sardonic sense of self-sabotage kissing upon my thoughts. We're in a fight for humanity's continued existence as a free thinking species, you'd think this ragtag bunch would be taking this much more seriously with that in mind. Perhaps a more jovial attitude is better for keeping up morale and staying on task without buckling under such pressure, however, so I hold my tongue and silently take a seat. As my arms move on autopilot to strap myself in as though I've ridden in one of these crafts before, my eyes narrow on the sight framed by Nova's open doorway. 

Shamefully, I had been hoping to see her looking my way, a tentative wave, a waiving of want that we both swallow like a pill too bitter to keep down. Instead of finding those gold flecked eyes radiating mine with tearful glow, I see them focused on another. Fingers that played me long into the early morning grip shoulders black as night, Nova's lips moving in a script even my enhanced hearing cannot reach with all this noise from the stirring aircraft. 

"What's that about?" Brood has her legs spread wide into my space, something I'm all too happy to ignore with how distracted I am wanting to know the answer to that question myself. 

"I... I don't know." Do I sound upset? That's rather humorous now isn't it? As the rest of our team sans Black Cowl secure their seats on the craft, I find myself in a dumb state of stare that borders a glare. Just what business does a small time hero stuck in their own shadow have with a woman like Nicole Black? Unable to do anything but wait and watch, we witness the last member yet to board the helicopter shaking their head to Nova's words, the blonde wearing a surprisingly warm smile that has my head a mess again. Nicole, my Nicole, pulls insignificant small time hero into a tight hug and I feel a pit in my stomach, Brie glancing at me with concern I could never come to trust in. 

Recalling their shadow and giving a light, noncommittal wave to the woman who just hugged them, Black Cowl turns towards the open manor entrance and flicks amber upwards to meet our curious gazes. I see them let out a small sigh and slip hands into pockets, shoulders slumping in the slow walk towards us as they wordlessly take a seat aboard the craft as it whirrs to life. I do hope that Mint's twin sister has a pilot's license, though again I suppose as the only one here gifted with flight, I need not worry about myself. 

"Hey, I've been thinking." Curtis Cruise is the first to break that lingering silence, I'd tell him to read the room but honestly I could do with another distraction and nobody else seems to have the mind to shut him up either. 

"Be careful with that, you might burst a blood vessel." Brie snickers, resting her arm over my back as I skittishly glance over at her... how can she look so relaxed when we're flying right into enemy territory? Envy's territory?

"Hey I can shelf my thinking for a second if queen dyke has something better to say? Get it off your chest, we--Hrrk!" A shadow wraps itself firmly around the throat of our team's least popular member and I find some catharsis in watching him paw at his windpipe fruitlessly. Eventually, cowl releases him and the indignant convict seems all too eager to bite back. Personally, I'm not sure that we're off to a great start as a team up, but what do I know? "Like I fucking said, thinking! Been thinking about something that Lady Nova said, was gonna be nicer about it but given you just assaulted me why should I bother?" 

Eyes travel from Curtis to Cowl, the windswept black hair and pale exhaustion seemingly unperturbed by the accusatory tone in Mr. Cruise's bitter preamble. "Go on, then." Speaks the hero of few words, my mind wandering back to that strange private exchange they had with Nova, nails digging into my thigh painfully. 

"All of you have very personal attachments to this mission. That's what the commander said, ain't it? It's easy to figure out for everyone except you, hm? So enlighten us, or are you keeping secrets from your squad mates?" Curtis grins, taking pleasure in putting somebody else on the spot like it's a personal hobby. 

Peony, sitting beside Cowl on the other side of the craft, clicks her tongue and glowers at the only man aboard. "Oh come on, we're entitled to a little privacy. You're just picking on an easy target 'cause they're quiet!" Florasma's daughter is a surprisingly good natured person having defended me from Brood's teasing and now offering Cowl the same, slightly infantilising support. 

"It's fine..." Cowl recalls their shadow and meets Curtis' challenging stare with an indifferent look that sees right through him. "I'm a hero of New Cassiepeia, aren't I? The title is a little lofty for somebody like me, but why wouldn't I have a personal attachment to saving the people I swore to protect? A criminal like yourself might not understand this very--"

"I call bullshit!" Curtis snaps back, the tension in the room is almost taut enough to snap, Brie holding my shoulder as though urging me to join her in staying out of this messy conversation. Sage looks back with a groan, deciding to wait a little longer before pulling rank and making the atmosphere even worse as a result. "Tell us the truth already, ain't we supposed to trust each other? Ain't we got enough to worry about without somebody withholding their reasons for being here?"

"I-I really think you need to back off now." Peony speaks before Cowl can get a chance yet again, Curtis finding a new target in her and revealing to the room that he really is just itching for a fight with any takers. Here I thought he actually cared, as I do, about Cowl's response. 

"Or what? You gonna gas us all several thousand feet up? Maybe we'd really be a fuckin' team once our bodies are all indistinguishable from each other in the resulting wreck, eh?"

"That's enough!" Sage calls out from the front of the aircraft, sounding understandably frustrated that she's already having to step in diffuse that suffocating atmosphere, tension I haven't felt since I was in that empty lot considering my fate at the hands of fellow heroes who no longer looked at me as one of them. "Everyone just calm down, okay? Save that fight for Envy's forces and we might just fare... I'm activating cloaking now, kiddos, so we should get past the drone wall without a hitch." Wait, how far in are we going then?

An artificial silence blankets the back of the craft, only lingering for a second as the voice to break it prematurely surprises everybody just as much as it does myself. 

"No, no... we wanna know. I-I mean, I want to know. You're not being cagey with us, are you Cowl?" The words slip through jealous lips quicker than I can catch them, my eyes narrowing in scrutiny of that well maintained calm on Cowl's face. I'm not sure which I hate more, the fact that I'm technically siding with Curtis Cruise on this matter or that I'm antagonising the closest thing I have to a friend in this godforsaken fate of mine. Alienation is as natural to me as breathing, at this point, and so I hold my gaze with guilt removed from the equation. 

Cowl appears taken aback at my poor choice of allegiance but seems to piece together why I've given them the stick, they're as sharp as that piercing look greeting my softening glare. "I won't deny that I have my reasons, then, but I'd prefer to keep them to myself for the time being. Orchard, I mean... Joy, that woman does not have eyes for me in the way you appear to have convinced yourself she does. I'd urge caution nonetheless, think what you will." They give a slight smirk, half-hearted and hurt. 

"Let the mysterious and stoic member be mysterious and stoic, 'kay? Adds to the team dynamic if you ask me, let's not pretend that they're not one of the most trustworthy members of the team even with their secrets haha." Brie seems to do an even better job at breaking through the tension than Sage, the lot of us visibly relaxing and accepting the bookmark in this chapter for the time being. I feel grateful to the woman for having stopped me going even further, her hand on my shoulder might as well be a leash wrapped tight around my neck. It's comforting to rely on the control of others, even subtle, but I'd never confess as such to those who seem determined for me to keep my freedoms. I... I too, want to be free and independent, of course. I mean, who wouldn't? That's the entire reason we're fighting for humanity right now, isn't it?

"So why do you feel so unsure about yourself?"

"You're all settled now? Good, that's good... ah, fuck me. Okay now for the hard sell!" Mint seems nervous, peering over her shoulder to make sure nobody's about to blow a gasket. "I guess it's fine, they make these things a helluva lot sturdier than they used to, before you super powered folks came around. Here's the sitch, kids, and I know you're not gonna like it but do try and keep it to yourselves if you know what's good for you. Overhead compartment has some goodies in it, by which I mean, collars. Yeah I know, really hammers home how trusted we are, but really it ain't like that. Nova insisted and I have designed them to be as unintrusive as possible but really these are just for keeping tabs on where everyone is in case we get split up, better than a chip right? And they're also there... in the event that we're captured by the enemy. Any mental tampering goes on and it'll alert the rest of us, so really you'll wanna wear these even if it's not really your style ahahaha." I can see dour expressions of my teammates as they find themselves forced to swallow their pride. They're likely thinking the same thing I am... why a collar?

As I open up the overhead compartment to retrieve my own piece of eerily familiar tech, I find a pair of bracelets attached to mine and share a knowing look with Brie. "I see they're making you wear these as well, huh? Guess that part slipped our team leader's mind in her little speech. Notice how nobody else has those? Marks us both the troublemakers of the team, ehe." With husky laugh, the impossibly well-built woman nudges her elbow into my ribs and I gasp with a tiny smile I couldn't begin to guess at the reason for. 

"Fuck that, Curtis is worse than us... but he's not the fun kind of trouble, is he?" My fatuous smile only grows and Brie gives a light nod, snapping the bracelets around my wrists like cuffs and helping me with my collar before I go ahead and do the same for her, savouring this close proximity to such a gorgeous specimen. Her scent is so different to Nova's, a mix of leather and cherry, of musk and smoke, an intoxicating aroma that fits a woman as caustic and caring as her. Oh, do I think she cares from a little kind touch and a few well placed words? How easy I am, I'd jump into the lap of the next predator a fresh course for the taking. I'm a buffet of sugary acceptance, there's always more of me to go around, so let's hope she's a sweet tooth. 

"It's so weird, seeing you here, as you are. You share a face with Envy but you're..." Brie's rough fingers trace down my neck, past that well secured collar, and I almost choke from the feeling of her roaming. 

"I'm just Joy." A word that rhymes with toy. A word that evokes happy feelings that never seem to last. A word, a name, that can be taken from me in so few snaps and clicks that I find myself unconfident in any attempt to lay claim to the identity. Brie catches my sudden lack of certainty and snickers, though not as cruelly as I'd hoped. 

"Names are funny things, huh? Can't promise I won't keep calling you prey, it kinda suits you. Sometimes... when you change your name for good... it can be so freeing. I guess. Or maybe that's just me, haha." The woman fiddles with the bracelets around her wrists and I tilt my head with dawning realisation. So she's... 

"A god can do no wrong, Hope, they are exempt from judgement. If the Empress of this new world deemed it so, it must have been fate. Take note of the rosy hue between the freckles, she doesn't ever want to go back. Did you?"

Eyelids flutter and vision flickers, my traitorous mind projecting that dark angel of death into the empty seat to the left of Peony. Her smile is a red smear that transforms itself into a jagged spiral which leaves the confines of her face. I'm mesmerised by jeering crimson, lurching forwards in my seat as the cool metal around my neck suddenly jolts me back into the room. A short zap to sharpen my mind, the similarity between this and the collar Mint had designed is once again giving me pause. I know that the two are sisters, but the tech is almost identical, Mint's was intentionally bulkier and more humiliating to wear but that was simply fit for function. These bracelets, also, are much too similar... but the collar holds far more significance to me. 

A collar with invisible leash, a mutt without a master. I chew my lip and try to ignore that loop of metal fastened around my neck that makes me feel so owned. As my mind slips back under I feel hard ground against my knees and my eyes flutter to a scene I should not have to relive. 

Click

"Recite it again, Hope, or you'll never be invited back upstairs. You know you have to earn a place by her side every single day, don't you?" Miss Murmur sits on the bench in my room with one leg thrown over the other, hand resting on her thigh with clicker gripped firm. I can almost feel it, the clicker between her fingers, like it has become an extension of my very being. 

"Uhm... yes! Of course, just... right." I'm so flustered by the click that I almost lost myself in that well of reverie I can drop too deep into when I'm not focusing. Deciding to correct my insubordinate lack of focus, I sit up on my calves properly with my back straightening out, arms held neatly behind it with fingers holding elbows. Murmur appears pleased that I am taking her lesson seriously, my chest pushing out against tight material. If I was capable of want I'd ask to remove the outfit entirely so I can cool off. I've no issue being naked around my superiors, or anyone for that matter, my body has no modesty worth preserving. 

An empty sparkle of hope in my eyes, I repeat the words again with well trained mouth. "I am normal and natural. I obey because it gives me purpose, direction and duty. I like being Envy's pet at home, it is my reward for being a good knight out there. I am normal and natural, this is simply a well tempered state. A collar to remind me of what I am, a click to tell me that I'm behaving well, and a firm hand to guide me away from all else. If I need reminding of who I'm not, I consent to be shocked by this collar and returned to rightful place. A rite of peace, normal and... natural..."

Click

My mind was slipping back into that deep well and the click came just in time as it always does, pulling me up and tethering me to my place here, kneeling with my face too relaxed to give even docile smile. Hair drapes over my dulling eyes as the click passes through me like a sedative flooding my bloodstream, my entire body still as a robot save for the occasional twitch of arousal. Murmur notices the tell-tale signs of lust and gives a sympathetic smile in her performance of person. Legs uncross and her boot pushes my mine apart, black leather shin tapping into my chastity belt and reminding me that I'm locked up until I complete at least five more assignments. These frontline missions are so strange, how do they just keep coming? 

"Hope, I'm releasing your behavioural limiters temporarily, Envy has instructed me to indulge you for writing such a good speech and reciting it so wonderfully." Did... did I even write that? I don't remember. "You may use my leg to get yourself off, you have three minutes. This doll is very resilient so do not worry about harming it. Everything here is replaceable, Hope, except for you."

My cheeks burn like hot coals and I can barely think straight as the stimulant is injected into my body from tiny pinpricks in my wrists, eyes staring at Murmur's proffered leg and a small whine escaping my lips. "I-I still have the belt on. I can't--"

Zap!

Eyes cross against Murmur's smooth skin and I drool over my tightly bound chest, returned to my rightful place by the shock collar just as I had described in the speech they had me reciting. As I refocus my vision and stare at that gorgeous leg, almost as shapely and divine as Envy's own, I feel mouth-watering gratitude take its hold and shuffle closer on my knees with a lazy grin I can barely hold up. My hips lift up and I drop down onto Murmur's boot, pressing the front of my belt's metal confines against it and rubbing against the tall leather like it could really get me off. I debase and humiliate myself for their enjoyment without a care in the world, licking over her knee as my hips roll eagerly until I'm made to stop. Teeth sink into the doll's thigh without risk of repercussion and I'm delighted to earn another click when I stop clenching short of breaking the skin. I'm so drunk on the female form, this leg might as well be an effigy of worship to a well conditioned slut like me. Indoctrination urges me to handle Envy's prized possession with care, while jealousy and forced love convinces me to carve myself into this Murmur and declare myself Envy's number one. 

Minutes later, I'm still thrusting into Murmur's leg a puppy on repeat, my body slick and a mess of drool coating my chin and the top of the doll's thigh. A hand grips into my hair tightly to keep me close, while the other gets me off with clicks so overwhelmingly powerful I actually hit a shameful climax and fill the room with a chorus of unsanctioned orgasm. With pant and gasp and apology, I prostrate myself before the woman a drooling mess of Hope. I cannot want, but hope springs eternal, my hope that I won't be punished for cumming without permission. 

"It's alright, Hope, we said you could get off didn't we? If you came with your belt still on, that just shows how seriously you took your orders. Still, it's rather pathetic, isn't it?" Murmur's fingers slide free from my shortened strawberry blonde hair and the relief crashes over me like a wave. 

I'm so relieved I begin to beam, filled with more energy than ever as that hot core between my legs melts me, makes me so malleable she could convince me of anything without even needing her clicker. "Pathetic..." I speak the word with a strange sort of reverence, wide smile a festering wound that infects all reason. It feels so good to be in my proper place, this simple life is heaven on earth to a pathetic girl like me. 

"You're a good girl, Hope, I'm sure Envy will call you up to see her tomorrow if you keep it up." Murmur's kind smile touches my heart, I'm too far-gone to remember how fake it is. 

"Mm... I love her... and I love you." I don't bother to wipe the drool from my chin, hugging her leg tight as the door to my room bursts open and startles me. The doll I've confessed affection for does not so much as flinch, petting my hair as she lifts her head to greet the intruder. My room has no lock on the door, what use would a being like me have for privacy?

Standing in the doorway is one of Envy's dryad foot soldiers, a collective formerly known as Hivemind, before that simply a woman named Helena. The dryad's body is the same colour and texture as those pale green vines a hopeful slut like me can only dream of these days, her skin lathered in a fine varnish of sap that makes her oh so shiny. Those not assimilated must be careful not to touch the dryads carelessly, as that sap is a potent aphrodisiac that would melt a thing like me in seconds. It... has happened on several occasions, this is a very careless mutt. “Cameo Moth is ready and waiting, miss. Envy asks that you wrap up training and prepare to depart. If you deem the knight fit for this assignment you're free to bring her too, field training is invaluable at this stage." The dryad drone speaks in monotone, not a human amongst the odd trio we form, her corrupted eyes never leaving Murmur's to pay attention to the puppy at her feet. 

"Very well, then. Would you like to join me, Hope? Knight to a Rook, either way you're a suitable companion to the queen." A glimmer of personality shines through posthumously, an ego like Murmur's not to be trifled with. 

To nobody's surprise, I eagerly nod into her leg and earn more mind whiting pats before being forced to stand. Murmur circles around and fiddles with my collar as I straighten out my posture as well as I can. I can feel the mess between my legs and wonder if they intend to clean me up before we depart or leave me in my natural state, as pathetic as can be. The dryad steps out of the doorway as Murmur's husky breath collapses hot against the back of my neck with a whisper of crows. 

"Awaken, Knight."

Greyscale and narrow is my view, thoughts only on the mission, only ever that. I am an obedient sabre crashing upon this world, in need of firm hand to grip and swing with purpose. My eyes blink open into an unfamiliar scene and I am greeted with faces friendly and indifferent, none appearing scared to be in my presence. I tug forwards and feel the restraints hold me back, figuring I must have been captured by Envy's detractors. If they think this is going to hold me they're in for a very rude awakening, I almost feel bad for them but a sword is spared the trouble. They should have kept me sedated, because now that I've awoken--

"You doing alright, prey? Been lurching forwards like you're about to hurl... see if you can't get it on that asshat to your left, eh?" A voice I almost seem to recognise filters into my ear from the right and I turn to meet the concerned eyes of my enemy. My talon stare claws into her throat, eyes sharp and fierce enough to decimate that smugness she wore up until now. "Joy?"

I don't know that name, only Hope, an obedient knight of the garden protecting Envy's lush vision of the future. As I sit up, the strange collar around my neck that isn't my usual one begins to beep loudly, startling the other passengers who begin to realise that something is wrong. With some effort I tear out of these bindings and step into the centre of the aircraft, identifying it as such with a smirk I'll have to confess the indulgence of when I return home. I recognise this type of helicopter, with one well placed strike I can bring this entire thing down and end these miserable conservationists at my own leisure. It will be quick and merciful, most likely. Helicopters like these can usually make safe landing even with the engine power lost, but even should they survive, the garden is not a very hospitable place to those who would threaten it in favour of their old world comforts. I could tear apart the rotor entirely, but at the very least one of them should live so that they may be unified and have their knowledge probed. 

"H-Hey, what the hell are you doing?" A male voice rings out, something ill suited to Envy's garden paradise. Naturally, I ignore the tiresome noise and jog my memory to recall the location of the engine bay. Near the back... a couple more steps and I arrive in front of that noisome man, his hand grabbing my wrist. "I said--"

With a firm hold on his neck I push the weak human back into his seat with some force, letting him know without needing to speak a word that moving from that spot won't end well for him. More voices call out, one from the cockpit and another from the other side of the vehicle, but I tune them out as I ready my fist and use these heightened senses to confirm my target one last time. 

"Joy!" That smug voice from before is no longer so suave, I'll leave the pity for the pathetic pleading puppy that takes my place in the tower, though I'm sure she'll be far too docile and distracted to think back on anything that happened here. It's a very symbiotic relationship we share, one that suits us just fine, keeps us tempered. A sword must be kept and maintained lest it dull or shatter, the Hope at home is a sheathe I am so dearly grateful for. I dedicate this blow to you, Hope, that we may find the world unified once the weeds have been pulled from our garden paradise. 

Fist clenched, Envy's blade strikes true, sailing on into that metal housing that proves no match for superpowered stren--

Clang!

Cold metal stops my knuckles from advancing further and I pull away, reeling back into waiting shadow that catches me in raised palm. I stare, dumbfounded, at the slight dent in the engine's housing and wonder how I was unable to tear right through it as I have so many times before. "But... I'm..."

"Strong as the lot us put together and more, yeah, but we've been living in a society of superpowered freaks for a long while now Joy." The woman I'm slowly remembering as Brie unfastens herself from the seat and I realise I didn't need to tear myself out so brashly, confusion hitting me in a headrush. "Just like those cuffs you... I mean, that Envy put me in way back when, yeah? They make shit real strong nowadays so... why don't you take a seat and we can talk things through?"

That doesn't make any sense, I'm stronger than these silly machines, I can dismantle them with a firm swing and... and... and fuck, my knuckles really hurt! I stare down at broken skin, red and sore, feeling that something in my memory is taunting me at the revelation that I'm weaker than I thought I was. 

"She okay back there? I don't want to activate the bracelets if I don't strictly have to, you're not dogs... just get it together alright?" Sage calls back from the cockpit with concern and I feel my senses slowly returning, Cowl recalling the shadow that so kindly caught me in my stupor. 

"She's fine, I've got her." Brie replies calmly, her strong hand stroking down my back as I tug at the collar around my neck breathlessly. I relapsed again, already, so soon after the first that we've not even touched down yet. It all happened so fast that my mind is still reeling, how are any of these people going to trust me in the slightest now? Why is Brood of all people being so nice to me? Her touch is comforting, in a very different way to Nova's, and I selfishly accept it when I know she should be shoving me down instead. 

"Yeah yeah, what about me? Psycho could've killed me! Would anyone like to know if fucking Curtis is okay?" As the man I assaulted cries out to a sea of deafened ears, the only thing playing on my mind is how badly I desire Brood's fingers in my hair again, petting me until I've temporarily forgotten all about responsibility and the good of all mankind. 

"No, not particularly!" Peony playfully antagonises our loudest teammate, somehow managing to diffuse the tension with that unsettling pluckiness of hers. 

After a few more moments of awkward silence, nobody quite knowing what to say or how to proceed now that I've made a fool of myself again so soon, Sage lets out a long exhale of breath and opens her mouth to speak. "We all knew this was a possibility, hell we've been through it with Brood before, so it's a good thing we came prepared. These vehicles are real sturdy, believe me, and I've got a handle on you guys so don't worry. If the rest of you don't trust these victims of Envy's manipulation, then at the very least trust in me, if you want any proof my tech's worth its weight in gold look no further than where we are! Deep into the city and not a single one of my sister's security measures have tripped, trust the older sis to have a leg up eh?"

"So we're just victims are we?" Brie mutters under her breath with a barely concealed scowl, causing me to look up at her and quirk my brow. "Ah... you're cute." She deflects, finally petting my hair and rendering my curiosity null until her touch stops making me so euphoric. 

"Mmh... I-I like when you do that... like a lot." I know it should be embarrassing to act this way while everyone else watches, that I should feel some shame for bouncing from Nicole to Brie so easily I paint myself a free-use slut, but I can't deny how good it feels not to care. Sitting on the side of my seat with the straps rendered useless anyway, I twist my body and lean over the woman eagerly, wanting to just... fall into her and be done with it. 

"Yeah? I'd noticed, hon. You really are just prey... what are we gonna do with you, huh?" Brie has me so firmly under her thumb already that I've forgotten all that dreadful business with the knight already, her touch an aftercare I couldn't hope to ask for. Better to beg, I find. 

_{"Anything you want."}

Chapter Two: Fuck the Right Thing

It all happened so fast that my mind is still reeling, a blue sky overhead contrasting this lush green floor at my back. I'm somewhere deep inside the city, no, the garden. Mental playback does me no real favours on account of how deep I'd sunk into Brie's perfect touch, so I've trouble piecing together just what exactly happened. 

One moment we were in the air, cruising along as usual, and the next... chaos. 

Oh god, was this my fault for punching the engine? It's a silly thing to consider when it appeared to have been an issue with the rotors, but the guilt plagues me all the same. A tear rolls over my cheek and this fresh wind comes to caress me with a calming touch I won't refuse. Eventually I sit up and look around at the excessive overgrowth that tells me I could be anywhere in New Cassiepeia and not recognise it. That structure over there could be my dorm, it's around the right size and shape, but I'd never know. 

So a crash, then? I'd love to say that the mission was proceeding without a hitch until that point but who am I kidding? As new bitterness takes hold I find myself wondering just what the hell Nova was thinking, taking out my frustration on grass that has done no wrong and reminding myself to calm down lest I suffer another unwanted relapse. Even with Sage and the others nowhere to be seen, I still wear the collar and bracelets that remind me to behave even if they only do so in a purely symbolic fashion at this time.

The moment I stand up a high pitched sound has me turning to my right, watching as supercharged branch builds into a burst of high pressure laser aimed in my direction. With well tempered reflex I turn my body to the side and watch the beam burn a hole in the grass I had just been laying on, eyes growing wide as I piece together what is happening here. So much for teamwork, the 'Crazy Cutter' is after my fucking head! I recall the last time I had felt danger's kiss shape my thought, tracing finger over that horizontal scar beneath my costume and growling into the clearing with mounting anger. I wanted, I needed, this mission to go well. At least this confirms that I'm not the only survivor of the crash, maybe Sage managed to land safely despite the rotor malfunction? If Curtis isn't alone, though, does that mean they're all teaming up to take me down? This really is starting to feel like a repeat of that transformation of priority in the empty lot, though far more sudden... can't they see that I'm not the enemy?

"Seriously, pet? You're a click away from slaughtering them with your bare hands and returning to your rightful place. They have every reason to get rid of you now that we're out of Nova's sight."

That's... that's right, Nova. She said she'd be in our ears, but the only voice in mine is Envy's. "Nova? Nicole? Help me, please..."

Silence, save for the high pitched sound of yet another supercharging branch, blades of grass, an overgrown trashcan. As I dodge two of the resulting lasers I feel the third grazing over my thigh and making short work of my costume as it singes the skin. Wincing at the pain but fighting through it, I remember that I'm not so defenceless and ball my fists, figuring that if Curtis wants a fight... perhaps I should give him one.

Deciding to lure him closer, I slip behind one of these massive trees and once again wonder at how Envy created such an impressive forest in so short a time, that explosion of power has me feeling inadequate in all the ways she wants. Using his power to supercharge traps in preparation for our inevitable confrontation, the self titled Crazy Cutter steps into the opening and challenges me directly with harsh words I try my best to ignore.

"Get out here, Orchard! Your psycho shit fucked over the entire mission, I'm taking you in... dead or alive... you hear me?" Is he being serious? It... I never touched the rotors, he's wrong... I think. 

"Nova... are you there?" My nails dig into the bark at my back, wanting so badly to hear the voice of the woman who promised to stay in my ear. Only then do I remember that I never even received the earphones, Sage was probably going to distribute those upon landing. I'm so mixed up, stepping out of cover without thinking as hot, pressurised beam hits my chest dead centre and blows me back onto the ground. Laying in the grass again with a pained groan, I smell the front of my costume burning and feel my hair spread out over the ground in a mess. A hand rests itself upon the tree I had been hiding behind and with a smug tone, the victor is declared.

"I'm not really a killer, didn't fancy the time, but I'll make an exception for you." Curtis coughs, rubbing that bruise forming on his neck where I had gripped his throat in my relapse. While murder is far less pretty an aesthetic to unification, isn't this exactly how I had reacted after Mana took a swipe at me all that time ago? If he was a woman, perhaps I'd offer myself to him as prize in order to keep on living, it'd come so natural I wouldn't even need to wait for the permissive click. 

A hand against the bark primes the tree my executioner, Curtis wanting to watch the beam tear through my skull like a true sadist would. I struggle against the grass, feeling so winded by that head on blast even with my enhanced body. I'm not a knight, nor a pet, nor soldier. I'm not even a hero, I'm just a scared little girl who doesn't want to die. "Please... someone..."

"Grrrrrahhh!" A sprinting tackle pushes my would-be killer onto the ground and swiftly pummels him into it, Brood quickly getting back up to splinter the bark with just her bare fist and redirect the supercharged beam into the treeline overhead. "Ah.. fuck!" The woman exclaims with a ferocity I'm roused by, slowly sitting up with a spluttering cough that has me regretting the act almost immediately. 

My eyes fall upon Brood, who appears quite the hero to me in this moment, even as she pulls huge splinters from her hand while sprouting more profanity than I could ever claim to know. The woman meets my gaze and gives a lightly melancholic, charming smile that has me melting for her all over again. "Hey, you alright? Fucking... shoulda known that prick would go after you the moment his chance came up."

So they're not all after me, then? I sigh out in relief as Brie approaches and kneels down beside me, cradling my back and lightly running fingertips over that burn on my chest. "Well ain't we a pair? Not exactly the most appropriate location for it but ah... mind if I take a look? H-Hey, stop crying, jeez..." The woman seems shocked to witness tears streaming down from Envy's likeness, the woman she served so loyally for months before they finally broke her free. 

"I... Is this all my fault? Did I cause us to crash when... when I--" 

"Oh that? No... no that wasn't you, don't be silly. Hey, I've got you..." Brie holds me close as I use the embrace as an excuse to be as pathetic as I can, surprised she hasn't pulled away and disciplined me for the misstep yet. No shock from this collar, either, everything between these different lives of mine is becoming confused and I forget what sort of treatment I should expect. What sort of treatment does a girl like me deserve? Better still, what does she desire?

"It's... still... are you sure? I might've--"

"Joy, I'm telling you this because I trust you. We can't believe a word from any of those bastards, they'll shake your hand one moment only to stab you in the back as you pass on by. You wanna know what I think?" Brie slips the costume over my shoulders and peels it down to my waist, the breeze against my topless body causing me to shiver in her hold. "Right as the rotors got all screwy, that quiet one... I couldn't see their fucking shadow anywhere. I don't like this mission one bit... and now I guess we've had the choice made for us, huh?" 

As the woman glances back at Curtis Cruise's unconscious form, I let her words play in my head for a moment. "What... what choice?"

Her attention returned to me, eyes dropping down to my naked chest to assess the damage, Brie gives a dry and bitter laugh I feel at home with. "Well, think about it. Curtis is a grade A cunt who nobody likes, sure... but he's been beaten down by the two people on our team who, worse than hating, people fear. These bracelets ain't for show, Joy, they cement us as the least trustworthy by a country fucking mile and now we've gone and finished one of 'em. I mean, fuck, he's still breathing but I think I broke his nose. Point is... it's his word against ours and there's a good chance what people really see that second one as..."

"Is Envy's voice..." I finish her thought, grimacing at that soreness on my chest and seriously considering Brie's words. "So uhm... our choice? What... what choice do we even have?"

"Exactly. Our only option is to return to where we belong, I reckon. Sorry if that seems an extreme opinion to you right now, Joy, but me and you are the same. Envy's plan is fucked and so is the world if she completes it, sure, but why do we insist to care about that? I'm thinking that it's our place, being by her side, and fighting that is just gonna cause more frustration. I don't trust the supposed good guys on this either, especially if that Cowl freak in cahoots with Nova crashed our fucking ride. See what I'm saying? If they're dead set on making us their enemies maybe we're better off just... going back to where we belong. Envy treated me... well, I won't say it was right, but it felt good. I wanna feel fucking good again, don't you? Like seriously... fuck these people." 

I'm not entirely sure what to say, wondering if I'm interpreting this woman correctly or if I'm still one foot in the dream after my near death experience. This isn't a relapse, and unfortunately Brie's words are starting to make a decent amount of sense to me. It's a cocktail of temptation and acceptance, a flagrant rejection of morals and responsibility I can't deny the intoxicating pull of. My eyes flick to hers and I catch the vulnerability in her face, realising it must be hard and even a little nerve-wracking for Brie to admit these feelings so openly, using her bad mouth as a mask to cover up just how scared she is that I'll reject her and become yet another enemy. 

"I... I know, but we can't. Right? I mean... it sucks but, we have to do the right thing. We have to..." It's had to debate ethics and responsibility while I feel a hole burning into my chest, even if it doesn't appear too bad it hurts like hell, red circle of skin that I fight the urge to scratch. 

"Fuck the right thing, what do you want? You more than anyone shouldn't feel responsible for a thing, Joy. Both sides have made a mess of you without permission, for once you have the choice to decide your own fate. You don't owe Envy shit, but if you go back to her it's because you want it, what she does to you. Is that a better comfort than this circus they're putting you through out here? Joy... you have no idea just how..." Brie trails off, assessing my chest again and thinking for a moment. "I could probably soothe that, hang tight." 

What do I want? Can I really just go back to Envy, hand myself over willingly? Is that a choice I have the freedom to make? And... is it something I'm seriously considering? This has been a confusing couple of days, being saved from all of that certainly sways the cawing temptation in my heart. If... if I went with Brie by my side, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad for being such a selfish girl. 

Brie digs fingers into the tree she broke the bark of, collecting sap in her hand with flush smile. "This stuff's strong as shit, so uh... consent?" 

I'll ask you plainly, Joy, as I always do. Do you consent to all of this?

"Y-Yes... it's fine, go ahead." My eyes trace over that sap in Brie's hand and I recognise it as the same from Hivemind's dryad glaze, so it's in every tree in Envy's garden? Brie smiles sweeter than I'd expect her able to, straddling my waist and pressing the sap coated hand against the burn on my chest. The comfort of her weight pressing me down into the dirt is almost enough to distract from the buzz of pleasure that spreads over my skin in nostalgic caress. My heart pounds and breath hitches, Brie fighting through the lust that aphrodisiac gives her as it seeps into her own pores while she kneads it into mine. The feeling of her rough hands against my chest, lubricated by Envy's gift, whisks me away from all that has happened into a simple plain of want. A wanton whore against the grass, I moan as she massages my breasts, both of us knowing her fingers creep well outside the boundaries of burn. Thumbs press into my stiffening nipples and run them in circles that has my head spinning accordingly, never wanting this moment to end as I stare up into her eyes and feel that seductive word staring back at me...

Sublimation. 

Tiny gaps in consciousness take me back to Envy's halls, Murmur's clicks reminding me how to behave and soft caramels that make my ego their whore. I recall a wonderous buzz of belonging and a sense of direction that wasn't so deliberately obscured. I remember red paint, a being of crimson, corner piece hidden in a veil. A corner of my mind where the reality is tucked away neatly in favour of fantasy, a fiction that plays exactly to its script. I don't know what it all means, not yet, gasps and groans and guttural moans all making me forget as quickly as I can remember. These are but tiny gaps, cracks in the iron frame, and sustained damage can always be repaired in... in... 

"Does that feel good, Joy?" 

Blinks upon blinks and I'm back in the grass, staring up at the woman groping my chest with mess of hair hanging down to hide the act. Those metal rings chill my chest as the aphrodisiac heats it up, ring assisted grip making me easy for her, though I don't feel the toy I had with Nova. The dryad's sap is so appropriately named, sapping me of inhibition as I curl fingers around her wrists and guide her touch desperately. Brie smirks and seems happy to oblige my need, making me wonder if she still feels a need to obey this face of mine or if she perhaps feels indebted to one half of the puzzle that gave her new lease. I'm not sure, just... this intimacy is strangely nice, dare I say nostalgic? I'm not sure how it could be given my only other time with this woman was far rougher a service. Envy only created Broodmare out of personal satisfaction and lust, but looking at her now I can't help but wonder if it's one of the few good deeds we did if only by sheer coincidence. That, or her personality and predilection to acceptance has been warped enough to embrace that which her former self would not. Does it matter, though? Like Brie says... do we always have to care? Being a good person, a bastion of moral superiority, is tiring work when weighed against the simple infallibility of Envy's doctrine. If Brie only loves this because Envy let her... does that really paint my counterpart in a bad light?

I think I would've said yes, once upon a time, but right now as I absorb her sap and gorge myself on the fruits of her labour... I cannot remember how I ever arrived at such conclusions.

"You're both such good girls now, that's why. Say it."

"I'm... hahh... I'm a good girl." I pant into the air and Brie's lips descend onto mine hungrily, not quite so loathsome as Nova's kiss that only ever took. 

"Yeah, you are. You deserve to choose, Joy, then no matter what either side makes you do or think afterwards it'll be right for you. If you wanna try living out in the woods with me, then that's an option too. Once we get this damn tech off anyway, haha. You're a good girl, Joy, and what does that mean?" Brie playfully brushes lips over mine, coaxing words that gasp from the back of my throat with such sacrosanct desire.

"You deserve to choose? Oh my, this beast does not know you at all, Joy."

That... wasn't Envy's voice. It slips by unnoticed, the sap keeping me in a well tamed reverie that shuts out her sermon. 

"Uh... G-Good girls get more." 

Brie kisses me again, her hands roaming my body and smearing it with sap. The way she makes love to me is so strange, unfamiliar, like she's only concerned with the way her touch makes me feel rather than the greed of her own want. With Nova it was about possession and power, I thought I needed that, but Brie seems pleased to tend to me in a wholly different way. Caretaker kisses make me happy, my mind stuck on lustful thoughts of that hulking form which shades me. 

"I love your body... oh, sorry! Is that insensitive? I-I know that... that we--"

"Don't apologise, Joy, I love my body too. Do you wanna touch it?" She laughs, breathy and shy, it strangely suits her even if I'm more used to vicious snarl. With meek nod of my own, I reach my hand out and flatten it against those exposed abs, chewing my lip as she sits up and flexes her arms vainly, giving me a show to fertilise my lust addled smile. 

My other arm raising up to roam her body too, I get a good feel of her torso for a while before moving to her arms, biceps that flood me with hot arousal as I feel around them with giggles and pleasured hum. This isn't even explicitly sexual, but this intimate touch makes me just as malleable as sex always has, hands running over her back and savouring those broad shoulders that drive me crazy. Eventually, once I've had my fill, I finally move my hands up to hold her cheeks and I feel accomplished at just how hot they are even if the sap is the obvious culprit. Slowly, I pull her down into another kiss and find each one makes a finer mess of thought, her speech from earlier tumbling around my empty head.

"Stop calling me Joy..." My head turns onto it's side and I stare out past the trees, not sure if I'm only speaking in the moment on account of this lust instilling me with misplaced gratitude. Shaky breath greets the grass as I wait for Brie's reply, my entire body overheating beneath her in the flames of rebirth as I fancy myself a phoenix. What better analogy is there for this foolish girl who has more states of surrender than she does allies?

"Oh yeah? You want me to keep calling you prey? I said you were cute." Brie leans down and peppers my side profile in sweet kisses, roughly groping my chest with both hands in just the way her experimentation told me I like it. Her upper weight piles onto me like a safety blanket protecting me from Nova's disappointment, humanity's disapproval, or anything else that would hold me back from this admission. Why does it feel so easy to betray, like I've done much worse in my past already? I suppose in a way, I have.

A warble of melodic, soft coos from the sweetly singing crow. Unlike many species of birds, their courtship is close and intimate, a whisper of temptation that gently beckons. A bell that tolls hope.

"I want... I want you to call me Hope."

And the chorus quietly plays.

Chapter Three: Dealing With Devils in Halcyon Flesh

Brie helps me zip my uniform back up and I realise that Nova must have intentionally designed this costume to rob me of my dependence, some psychological play that I cannot quite figure out. Back in my vision Murmur helped me with it, then Nova herself and now Brie fills the role. Such premeditated decision to dehumanise me plays on my mind and yet, I'm no less determined to return to my place at Envy's feet now that epiphany has struck. At least she was open in her manipulations, Nova's dagger is a well concealed one and I can't be sure how many she has hidden away. Nova's deceit is contraband the likes I wouldn't want to know the true scale of, much better the devil you know right?

"You sure your mind is made, Hope?" Brie brushes me down with her hands and plants a soft kiss against the back of my neck, my hand reaching back to hold her there against flush and salty skin. 

"Mm, yeah. You wanna mark me, don't you? I... heh, I don't mind. Like you said, I'm prey, so I think it'd be kinda hot if-- ahh~!" Brie wastes no time in getting to work, roughly sucking on the sensitive flesh and making me feel the weakling I am. Arms wrap around me and I'm pressed firm against that slab of meat, cooing gently into the air with a fresh acceptance of the life I've chosen. Not having to pretend anymore is such weight off my shoulders, Apollo's resignation and a girl named Hope to rise from the ashes. My metaphors have become as confused and cannibalistic as my desires have been for a very long time, but I'll keep the wheel turning. There's nothing more terrifying in my cyclical existence than a breaking of that wheel I've become so dependent on, after all, and so I relish the feeling of that mouth painting purple onto pale flesh. I deserve this, though I'm not sure if I mean so in the sense that I've earnt it or that it's a karmic reap that cashes in on all that sowing. 

As soon as Brie is finished with her masterwork, her arms slip back to her sides and she turns me around by my shoulders. "You know why I believe you, Hope? That this is what you want... and that it's what I want too..." She hooks a finger into my collar and pulls me up onto my tip toes, kissing across my jaw as I savour this submissive bliss of not getting a say in when she finally meets my lips. "Neither of our collars activated in response to our minds being made, right? So this desire ain't coming from Envy, it's just what we're like. That's what I meant when I said we're the same, Hope, we're both better suited in... responsible servitude. You know your place with Envy, right, whereas the rest play smoke and mirrors. So... let's go show the world a good scare on her behalf and see how fast those mirrors come crashing down." Her lips finally press upon my own, sealing her intent with a conspiratorial kiss that has me thinking those words once again.

It all happened so fast that my mind is still reeling. It's been doing that a lot lately, but really, I feel like I'm on a hurtling train hanging on for dear life. This decision we've come to should bring only comfort, but trains are on rails and I'm not entirely sure who placed the tracks. My mind changes like the switching of channels and I'm starting to worry that there's something I'm missing, if somehow even this path I'm speeding down is led by carefully laid rail.  

I break the kiss and feel my heart skipping a beat, as it seems to when I'm around this woman who almost immediately became my source of escape the moment Nova let me go. Fingers curl into Brie's boldly, my hand lifting hers to inspect the one ring not made of steel or titanium. "I've been looking at this gold one... ahaha, I've not been messing around with a married woman, have I? Looks like a wedding ring, not that I really know much about that sort of thing."

Brie snickers in the way she does, giving me a shrug before deciding to elaborate with what little she can. "Don't remember, it's from the Envy days and well... they told me the less memories I have access to of that time, the less chance there is of relapse. I was inclined to agree and I guess you've gone and proven it, two in one day ahaha. It'll be better not to jump through hoops just to keep a hold of our autonomy, Hope, but there's an ugly truth to it all ain't there? Maybe this is the wedding band of some poor sap who entered Envy's territory with nothing but a rifle in his arms and the shit in his pants. If we go back, we're probably gonna do bad things, our hands aren't clean right now but they could get a hell of a lot dirtier."

Her words are a sobering shot I have to swallow, though it does not deter me now that I've set upon this path. When a train passes the switch, it can't go back. "I know. Nova's command might have us drawing blood as well, you never know, I don't think she ever quite grasped what being a hero means. Many of the garden's members are people I know, that I'm fond of, weighing that against faceless soldiers I've never even met... fuck... I'm a bad person, aren't I?"

"You're a hypocrite, that's for sure! Not turning your back on your own kind Hope? You really aren't Joy after all, such a good pet knight for us. I enjoy your compromising, Joy, stage three already then? One more day, was it? Things would be different? Well you got it, girl, courtesy of Nova's theatre. Do you feel different?"

Brie taps her shoulder into mine, placating me in an instant like it's the agreed response. "Hey, I don't care about that if you don't. You make me wanna spoil you, maybe Envy'll let us stay close?" 

"We're close? We only just met." I smirk, both of us knowing that our intimacy suggested otherwise, though perhaps I'm simply still high on that strong tree sap. "You don't even know my tastes." With the most seductive batt my lashes can muster, I give hooded stare and sultry smile, lifting that hand in mine up to meet these curling lips. Is this smile a mirage, a veil worn by catatonic husk of human, or do I truly feel her warmth against mine? If an object forgets it isn't human, what does it become? "I hate gold." I take the woman's finger into my mouth and slide it over my tongue without letting my eyes leave hers. Gold is the colour of the old way here in New Cassiepeia, it's emblematic of Nova's Midas glare and shameful stranglehold. We don't need gold here in the garden, though perhaps I'll plant a seed just in case. My lips close around the wedding band and loosen it, pulling ring into my mouth and tasting that harsh metallic flavour. With eyes maintaining their post, I pull my mouth back from Brie's damp finger and spit the ring onto the soil with growing catharsis. 

"Oh? That's a little rich, isn't it?" Brie does a poor job at hiding her blush, while I have no chance of masking mine after tasting that fresh sap against her skin. 

"What? Don't like the costume? Makes two of us, it's so gaudy and gross ahaha..." Embarrassed, I strike a mocking hero pose and Brie shakes her head, stepping closer and dipping fingers into my collar. She earns another light shiver, my body so sensitive it's no wonder everyone seems to want their turn to play with it. 

"No, I meant this. Noticed it when we were uh... when I was helping to soothe your pain. Thought it was pretty, but it's as gold as that ring you just spat onto the ground, so I guess it's gotta go." Brie holds the necklace up, gold pendant resting in her palm. "A pretty dove, for a pretty girl. You're not religious are you?" 

"God no." I laugh and the woman joins me. "Nova probably put it on me, go ask her. Take it off, I'll be much lighter for it, but if I'm giving up my precious expensive jewellery you have to promise to be a worthwhile replacement." 

Without hesitation, Brie yanks down on the chain and it unclasps, my poor heart drumming at the fact it might not have. This brute acts without thinking sometimes, though even that part of her has charm. The dove drops down without a single flap of its wings and lands beside the discarded ring, Brie's boot pressing them both down into the soil as we wash our hands of gold for good. 

"Sure, I promise, all I gotta do is not make you hate me, right?" The woman flashes confident smile and I reach for her cheeks again, pulling myself up into indulgent kiss signed off with whisper. 

"You're doing pretty good so far, keep it up." Our lips brush and I can't quite place this feeling, a gloss of guilt coating this sweetness we share. 

My heels fall back down onto the floor and I tug at these bracelets on my wrists, knowing well that if Sage finds us it could spell an end to our current plans. At this moment, I can't be sure that she even survived the crash, but it pays to be cautious. 

"We should get moving, hard to tell where we came down so I'll trust your gut." Brie ruffles my hair in her hand and I melt against the touch, trying to remember the days in which I wasn't so pliant to another woman's fingers. How would my life have gone if Hivemind had never sought me out on that fateful day? Suppose the city would not have undergone such dramatic transformation and I'd probably be sitting through a college lecture right now half awake, Laura at my side passing notes like we're still in high school. So much has happened since then. If I could just go back and try again, I'd do it all differently, I'd make sure not to fall for Murmur's trick nor let those heroes in Nova's agency warp me so. I'd say that going back is impossible, and for that time it surely is, but I've already experienced the future once and returned to relay the story to my supposed superior. Times change.

"Yeah, I'll pick uhhh... that way, why not." The signage is useless for us, even attempts to remove the overgrowth have proven fruitless on account of sap hardened like paint. It's like this place has intentionally been turned into a labyrinth you have no choice but to run around aimlessly within. Smart tactic on Envy's part, nobody who has been unified will have any need for directions I'm sure. 

"Atta girl, then let's--"

"Hey guys!" A voice bursting with energy that drains our own, the two of us looking back into the clearing I had landed in and watching Peony crossing over to us with a noticeable limp. Judging by the damage to her costume, it would seem she did not land quite as fortunately. "Oh my..." Her boot lands beside the Crazy Cutter, still out of commission with blood trickling down from his nose onto the thick grass. 

"Ah, that's..." I'm panicking, Brie's hand falling onto my shoulder to calm me down with surprising effectiveness. 

"My handiwork, he was going after Hope here on a personal vendetta." The woman's hand on my shoulder once again reminds me of how the subtleties of touch can differ so greatly. Nova's hand is toxic, possessive, while this one only seems protective. 

Peony laughs, kicking Curtis in the ribs to receive unconscious groan and nothing more. "Well, he doesn't appear to be dead, I'm sure he'll get over it! Oh hey, we should light a fire here so the others can see our smoke signal... or ah, maybe we'd get overrun with plant women instead huh? These collars have tracking right? I guess just wait here, then."

Huh? She didn't even question our fight with Curtis at all, that was one of the reasons we had decided to defect in the first place. It's funny, but I can't bring myself to laugh in the oppressive atmosphere of this light-hearted scene. If we want to leave, we're going to have to drop Peony somehow. Hand on my shoulder tightens as though to tell me Brie has this one too, but I shake my head and pry away from her comforting grip, deciding this one's mine. Peony isn't a friend by any measure, but I don't wish to see her hurt. Mine is a peaceful subjugation, it's about time I got to use it in the field.

We take careful steps back into the clearing and Peony watches with a smile, giving us the impression that she's fully bought into our act until the sudden beeping sound rings out from over my shoulder, head tilting back to see Brie's collar lighting up and a deep crimson flush covering her face. With deep inhales, my new partner in desertion feels herself succumb to the thin gas and then buckles as Peony turns the valve, smog becoming a visible pink cloud of comfort. 

"Who's Hope?" The pink haired prisoner speaks in an accusatory tone I can't call out as unreasonable in this instance, realising Brie's slip up and meeting that piercing stare looking out through her goggles. 

"That'd be me... sorry, Peony, but you're going to need a much more concentrated dose than this to subdue me." Blowing the air out of my lungs, I lift feet from the ground and approach the daughter of the golden age's most infamous seductress, grabbing her wrist and holding it up while my other hand peels off those goggles and drops them into the grass. The woman puts up as much a fight as a regular human can, upping the intensity of her gas which now blankets this clearing and has my collar begin to stir. I'm still lucid enough to see this through, show this world that I'm not only a toy for others, not always.

"J-Joy, let go of me! You need to explain yourselves... ah... why isn't my gas--"

"You know, this is the highest honour a girl like you could get, Peony. Miss Murmur herself dreamed only of gazing upon these glowing golden orbs, it drove her into making decisions the woman named Misty never would have imagined herself capable. I'm giving you the one thing that escaped your idol's grasp right up to the end, so... aha, you be a good girl and thank me alright?" I remember now, what it's like to hold absolute power over another person. I get it, really I do, that rush you feel imposing your will upon somebody by force. I don't have much will of my own, but that doesn't mean I can't play pretend. I'm the star of this stage play, after all, so I need to act my fucking heart out. 

"Fuck y--"

Gold. 

Gold is dense. Heavy. Soft. Malleable. Ductile. Gold never rusts, it maintains its perfect and unique colour. Gold is a shining dawn from outer space, an aurum from beyond that veil dark and cold. Most of the gold on Earth, much like Nova herself, came from crashing meteorites that impacted our planet. An otherworldly metal, my eyes glow ethereal light that unmakes Peony's struggle at pathetically low melting point. The woman slumps in my grasp and I keep her held up with strength a normal human like her couldn't hope to understand. 

"Peony, I'm sorry, but I need you to be a good girl and submit." I speak with an eerie calm, understanding that the time to let my nerves assault me comes after I've finished securing my and Brie's safety. Her collar cries out in protest even when her own dropping expression tells me just how deep she's falling, eyes pulled deep into the orbit of two great suns that burn submission into her retinas. 

"Good... I'll be good. Submit..." Her collar beeps unpleasantly and I've half the mind to try and crush it in my grip to silence the damned thing, but then I remember that embarrassing blunder with the engine and decide against it. 

It's that easy? Not wishing to emulate Envy's fall into the dark I deny the hot kiss of temptation and attempt to remain focused, making sure not to up the intensity of my stare lest it do permanent damage as it had to Rose and later Nova herself. "Well uh, first off please pick your jaw up. And then, I'd like you to run as far as you can in that direction. The stare might wear off so ah... here." Reaching forwards, I pull the woman's mask from her face and fasten it over my own, lifting her arm to point that nozzle directly at her face and then twisting the valve. 

The stare made her unnaturally focused, but the gas makes her anything but, it's a fun contrast to watch in real time as her eyes flutter and she succumbs to pink. Her thoughts space apart more and more until she cannot string together conscious thoughts of her own without help from another, I'll be that for her, telling her to run no matter how much she stumbles. What did I say to Nova yesterday?

"Crawl if you have to."

Chapter Four: Mirage Beyond the Copse

My knees fall onto the grass and I'm well past the point of caring about stains, cradling Brie's face in my hands and peering down to see her hand buried deep within her jeans. Seems her tolerance for Peony's concoction is in the negative, my hand slipping down to hold her own and let her ride this out as the other pulls off Peony's mask and throws it aside. We'll fuck the toxins right out of her system and then we'll find our Empress soon after, pledging allegiance to a cause we don't believe in to escape one we've not the strength to shoulder. 

"Brie... oh, your head bobbing like that's kind of... hot. You're usually so headstrong so ah... this isn't a bad look." One hand covering her own and guiding fingers deep into that molten cavern of need, the other cups her cheek and savours that heat like embers from a hearth. 

The woman gives me an embarrassed, pleading look, her stare glassy and unfocused even when she bites down to hold onto her fiery personality I've come to admire her for in so short a stretch. "Ah... fuck you. Or no, fuck me..."

"I'm already on that, love. Any more requests?" My fingers replace her own in masturbatory baton pass, stimulating her clit while a languid finger runs over glossy folds. "Hmm, actually... I don't remember us giving you this? Been experimenting with the name for a month or so, you said?" 

She gasps against my touch and thrusts her hips forward with the ferocity of the beast she's oft compared to. "Mmgh... what? Shut up and kiss me."

Who am I to deny such a direct order, aren't those my favourite things? Leaning over her hulking mass I plant a delicate peck onto her lips, feeling emboldened by that business with Peony and now seeing how vulnerable this woman is. "I was talking about the cunt."

"Hahh... fuck... don't talk about yourself like that, Hope, you're doing great." Brie lets out panting moans that I love the feeling of against my own flush skin, pushing my hand down with a firmness that gets her attention and has us both giggling like the lovers we aren't.

"Keep your secrets then, so brooding and mysterious hehe. I just... I hope it was your choice and not hers, but I guess that's fucking rich coming from me. Especially when we're running right into her arms, huh?" Brie buckles into my fingers, tightening around them as I push inside experimentally. 

"Hope... mmgh... fuck! I-I don't remember but... it feels so good, I just can't bring myself to care." 

It's like we're both drunkards, practicing a hair of the dog lifestyle.

"Fine by me, then." 

With a smile I suddenly care about the symmetry of, I fasten the buckle on Brie's belt and she pets me for the trouble, the two of us standing once that incessant beeping on her collar finally stops. The ominous red lights haven't flickered off though, I assume they won't until Sage has found the compromised member and assessed them herself. It means we're going to have to start moving now if we've a chance of escaping her if she's down here. Cowl too, somebody I'm now realising I know literally nothing about even if I called them a colleague since my early days. Sage seems to be a good person, not that I've historically been a good judge of that, but if she finds us I have to imagine it won't be under the most amicable of circumstances anymore. Brie and I have made our bed, and we've already fucked in it twice... I think we've lost our metaphorical security deposit. 

"Off we go, then. Hopefully if she's conscious, Sage'll go after the collar still beeping first. Best to look out for any shadows out of place though... you really think Cowl is the one that crashed us? I... barely remember a thing, your fingers were in my hair and I just..." I scratch the back of my head with a sheepish grin, we're both different kinds of animals even if we wear the same collar. Brie marches onwards in the direction I chose and I do my best to keep up, once again forgetting that my feet don't really need to touch the ground. 

"Zoned out? God, you're such a puppy, I can't imagine you without an owner. Nova's really expecting a girl like you not to collapse onto your knees the moment they ask you to? Did Murmur use her clicker?" Brie pushes through the dense forest, clearing a path for me rather chivalrously while my blush burns brightly at those humiliating words I cannot contest. I'm only strong when I'm following orders, which I'm sure is Nova's intent, but her leash is just not tight enough. 

"Failing this operation... there's always plan B"

Nova's thinly veiled threat, masked behind her usual smile. The ego of that woman is large enough to have satellites, my own orbiting it for a while. 

"L-Let's not talk about all that right now, we'll be back where we belong soon enough right?" I skip to catch up to her side and feel the urge to cling to her arm for dear life, staying content with just watching her for now as we push past trees upon tress, a seemingly endless copse of walking before... 

"Ah crap, well this wasn't the right way but at least we can figure out where to go from here, sort of." Brie gives a dry laugh as she steps out into the breezy air and looks out over the river that looks wide enough to be a channel. "See those buildings beyond the water? Long abandoned, but I can only guess at how many troops and armoured vehicles you'd find behind them, like ants under an upturned rock."

I step out further and look past the water, a view that once was grey appearing much the same in this current world of colour. "I never came this way as far as I can remember... in my vision, I mean. Actually... I was told not to." 

Brie's hand falls onto my head and I placate myself with her scent, wanting to lean back into her arms like we're on a date instead of what this really is. "How's it feel to break the rules then? One last time, while we still can." Her laugh holds no shrillness, it's low and comforting, I could wrap myself up in it and fall asleep forever. 

"I don't know... it feels like... like I'm still following my script, somehow, even while plainly going against what everyone wants me to do. I just... I can't even really remember what actually being in control feels like anymore, and I'm not sure if I even want to. That scares me... or like, it should? I'm that paradox with the ship, aren't I? Fuck if I remember the name, me and Laura were sketching ducks at the time, talking ones even... heh... that's another thing I guess, my best friend's there. If I don't think I've the ability to save her, I'd rather join and be close to her. Without their knight to bear the brunt, she could be sent out instead, she's not as resilient as me. Physically, I mean, not that I really need to clarify that." Crouching down, my fingers curl around a nice and flat stone, smooth to the touch. Using my enhanced strength I send the pebble skimming across the river's surface at breakneck speeds and Brie whistles in approval, taking her time in processing my words.

"You like her? Like, you're sweet on her?" Is all she comes out with in the end, both of us probably knowing we should get going to the tower as quickly as possibly and yet, hesitating all the same. "Feels like a lifetime ago, but you were dating when you came to that alley, right? I remember Mana looking like she was going to burst a blood vessel from jealousy, while I only had eyes for Tri. Guess you're not Envy, and I'm not Mare, so I wanna know... if that's alright?" 

Is Brie hitting on me? In a romantic sense, I mean, the sexual intimacy from before was perfectly stringless. I can't help but grin a little smugly, throwing another stone to stall before finally opening my mouth to set the blushing butch's mind at ease. 

"I--"

"WRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!"

A shockwave shakes the speech right from my mouth, along with that piercing roar, shrill and echoing across the water like an omen. My eyes bulge wide, not able to make sense of what just happened, staring out past the river at that row of buildings Brie had been gesturing to when we first arrived at the island's edge. 

The reverberations of a voice strong enough to be a giant's knock loose the debris that had piled up further upstream, pieces of junk from the destroyed buildings overhead floating past us as my stare ignores all but the sudden movement on the other side of those decrepit buildings. 

Spread wide, as though appearing from thin air in a blink, are two beautiful wings. These are not bird wings, nor those of an angel, but appear butterfly-like as they stretch out past all that grey in a dazzling array of colour. The giant butterfly wings diffract the rays of light spilling in through cracks in the sky, appearing as little more than a mirage, a rainbow you could never really approach no matter how hard you may try. 

Brie squeezes my hand in hers and I stare out for a few seconds longer at the mystical sight, an anomaly dwarfing reason with such confidence it does not disappear when I blink. At least not until I feel pinpricks against my skin and the high pitched sound that shortly follows, Sage arguing with somebody over comms while the noise prevents me from translating the words she barks in her half of the heated conversation. I drop onto my knees and clutch my head, Brie keeling over much the same as we're both subdued by Sage's failsafe; a swift and efficient incapacitation that has me starting to lose consciousness when she doesn't deactivate it as she had last time. 

The last thing I see before the black takes me, head drooping low and feeling far too heavy to pick back up, is something just as inexplicable as that mirage we had laid eyes upon. It is a confounding image that imprints onto my psyche like a glass bullet shattering inside of my mind. 

A large banner unrolled by the stream, that must have once hung vertically from one of the buildings long abandoned. Near the bottom of the banner, block red text in three bold, descending lines reads:

"Regain your humanity..."

"Relearn your place..."

"Or live in fear."

And above these evocative lines sits the likeness of a person, strawberry blonde hair tied back neatly and a perfectly manufactured smile sitting on her lips. The face of a movement. My face, smiling back at me as it floats across the water, indifferent journey that makes no pause for failing thought. 

"Wh-What the ffffuuuhh--"

Black.

Chapter Five: A Vale of a Smile

A world of empty black stares me down and I've nowhere to focus in on, no barrel to look down as I wonder exactly where I am. Consciousness returns but I've only the sensation of touch left to me, restraints holding me in place without a slither of my other senses to tell me what's going on. 

Heavy muffs over my ears, which have also been plugged for good measure, plunge me into a world of silence. 

Thick blindfold sits securely over my eyes leaving me bereft of vision, drifting in a world of darkness. 

Something rubbery fills the inside of my mouth, a mask covering the entire lower half of my face leaving only a slither of skin on show between that and the blindfold higher up. A world of slow, disciplined breath through my nostrils. 

I feel tightness in my hair neatly tied at the back, the mask extending down my neck with steel bones that hold my face up in place. It poses me like the bodysuit that hugs me tight, arms bound behind my back lined with buckles and legs pushed together without any give. 

The room I'm in isn't too warm or too cold, it's perfectly neutral, giving me such little to latch onto in my drift. I've always heard sensory deprivation described as a pleasant, desired experience, but right now I feel so lost that it scares me. The last I remember, Sage had activated her failsafe and subdued us both. That banner is the last image my eyes took in before the black took me, now it burns into my mind robbed of any other image to overwrite it. 

That smiling face that didn't quite look right, it was my face but then... she looked older. My mother had black hair and passed on before I even started high school, Envy carries on that colour while I've taken my father's reddish blonde. It was me, I'm sure of it, her face wearing an expression that taunts me... haunts me. 

A Vale of a Smile, a departure of feeling. Her smile, my smile, was both a deep depression and a farewell that postured itself as Joy. I am not that smile... no, I'm more hopeful. Whatever that was, whatever it means, I'd do well to forget I ever saw it. 

Consciousness returns and yet I've naught to do with the gift, beginning to consider it a curse after what feels like an entire day of floating I know well could have been just a half hour. I am not even afforded the luxury of wriggling my hands around, my toes having the most free movement I'm going to get until they hopefully remove me for... interrogation? I can't be sure which side even has me, but this feels wholly different to how Envy had kept me. 

It's safe to assume I'm in a military facility, then, having been restrained due to my actions with Peony if not the grander motive to defect entirely. Is this Nova's plan B? No, this is simply an intermission. 

The longer I wait, the longer I seem to spend without thinking surface level thoughts. It really could have been a day by now, though I'm not tired enough to sleep just yet even if the difference between that and this seems a mostly arbitrary distinction. My mind drifts as my body remains perfectly immobilised, returning to that reflection in the river and its inhuman smear of a smile. 

"Joy or Hope, what'll it be? You don't even have enough context to answer that question and for that, we're deeply sorry. I won't make habit of apologising to fakes and well, you're something worse, so you better be grateful I forced the words out."

I want so badly to ask that voice if it's real or just in my imagination, finally fucking feeling something as Envy's vines spiral up my legs and not caring if it's real or not. I'm pulled into her orchard, ass on grass, beaming at the freedom of my senses and eagerly crawling over to her rose adorned throne to give her my thanks. Only when Murmur's clicker sounds do I being to kiss up the woman's leg from toe to hip, drowning in this fantasy of her before reality comes knocking and rips me from the scene muff by muff. 

The first thing I hear as the plugs are plucked from my ears is them dropping down onto a table by my side and then the creak of leather fingers slithering behind me. The neck corset is unclasped from the back and removed with a wet pop from the inflated gag, letting me gasp out with deep, greedy breaths. Fuck discipline, I want to know what's going on.

"Hey! Who--mmff!" Leather digits slip into my open mouth and promptly gag me, my teeth sinking down but not breaking through the glove. Whoever's fingers these are, they're not a regular humans or I'd have heard a crunch. 

"Behave now, flower, and I'll consider letting you ask a question." Throaty, sing-song chuckle has my body freezing up and recognition washing over my blindfolded face. Her fingers gently slip back out once I stop biting down, gulping and collecting my thoughts for a moment. Nicole Black stands before me and I reconcile with the fact she does not sound particularly apologetic to see me in this position. 

"Just... just one question?" I have so many and she knows it, especially with her leaving me robbed of vision. I'm continuously tormented by that image that won't leave me, but that's not even the greatest priority here if I'm being pragmatic. 

Nova's second chuckle in so short an exchange, her ego really is something and once again I'm lost in orbit. "Yes, and I believe that was it? Rather a waste if you ask me but... well, if the time for questions is over then..." Forceful fingers grip my face in tight leather hold and her mouth moves on mine without a moment's hesitation. Despite everything, I invite her inside like I haven't the choice. Once a slut... 

"Mmfh..." Her tongue drips poison down my throat, to call this kiss possessive would be to imply there are still two participants. Immobilised as I am, robbed of all autonomy and hope, I'm no different than any other object in this room Nicole could see fit to shove her filthy tongue into the crevices of. I know this, I feel it, the way she makes me lesser and dresses it up as kindness, comfort. 

I hate how much I need more of it. 

"Mmh... you're most beautiful like this, Joy, I had to keep the blindfold on. Not because your golden glow has any chance of outperforming mine of course, but because it suits you too well. It was fun what we had at home, I want you to know that, I'll still have the marks to remember it by for a short while longer... but I think it's time that we cleared the air on where everybody really stands." Commander Black strokes those cold indifferent fingers across my jaw and I gasp, all touch feeling so intense to me after drifting in that black void of deprivation. Even her words, mocking and cruel as they are, become music to me in this state of pathetic need. I never knew before how much I took my senses for granted, not until they became a luxury. 

"Nova... what's going on? Am I in trouble? What about Brie, is she okay?" That's three questions into my overdraft, let's see if Nicole is a generous captor. 

A short silence fills the air, making me temporarily wonder if she's still there right in front of me as her spit dries against my chin. "Sage is handling her, it can confuse a subject to swap out on a whim and not the right kind of confusion. Tethers are useful tools when they're implemented correctly and... most of all, sparingly. Your ability to experience reality in any regular fashion is dictated by my fancy alone now. I made a personal request that I would be the one to help you through this transition, Joy, so you should really be thanking me. Not all handlers are as sweet as I am, our government is not at all how you remember it."

Handler? The word makes me feel cold, a shiver down my spine that tells me Nova is a better actor than I gave her credit for in the past. Perhaps she really would have a career on the stage if she had never developed an interest in astronautics. 

"I can be your best friend, Joy, or I can be a strict tutor you don't much like. It's all up to how well you take to the program, I did warn you there'd be a plan B if you couldn't get your shit together out there on assignment. You're far too valuable an asset, I'm afraid, so the time for asking favours of you has passed. This should be easy for you, girl, you've already been trained in this fashion once before and it sounds like you excelled in being tamed." Her words are sharp rotary blades that make a mess of garden fantasy, trimming chaos into order, size and shape befitting her interests. 

"F-Fuck you, Nicole! You knew this was going to happen from the start, you're messed up in the head... and, hah, that's coming from me. And... call me Hope." Even as I try to piece together what her game is I can't quite make sense of her, she's as much an anomaly as that artificial smile floating in the river. This entire world feels like it's playing a practical joke on me right now, nothing quite lines up in a way that makes perfect sense. 

"Cute of you to pick a side as though it matters at this stage, flower. Like I said once before when I was making you mine without need for any of this fancy equipment I'm provided... I'll call you whatever I want." Even indignant as I feel, the words have me throbbing with arousal I fight to ignore, wondering just how far this is going to be taken and how it'll differ to training in the garden. 

I'm furious, I'm exhausted and I'm terrified. All three of these feelings are at odds, and perhaps fighting losing battle, against my excitement. A slutty, scholarly sort of curiosity arrests me as Nova kisses me roughly once again, treating me as the object I'm made to feel. 

The woman kisses me for so long I become lightheaded, breathless, wondering weakly if it would be okay to let myself enjoy just how much she's willing to degrade me just to get her own way. Not even that, she does this for her own personal satisfaction, this is pyrrhic defeat theory made manifest with suckling lips and unbound tongue. Nova dominates my mouth and I don't even think to bloody her tongue, already forgetting I've the power to protest with justified violence that tells her I'm not to be treated as a toy. The sad reality is that I think from the first time it ever happened, I've loved being used by those more powerful than me with morals blacker than the crows above our heads. 

Finally she pulls away and I can't tell if I'm relieved or disappointed, perhaps some horrifically malformed amalgamation of the two, a two headed mutt fighting over the same pitiful scraps it slobbers over. "How do I punish a girl who enjoys being put in her place too much? A glutton for punishment? I decided that deprivation was the way to go, I think you'll learn to be very grateful and well behaved when I do allow you to be a person, it'll be meted out according to your progress alright? Person might be a misnomer, I don't need the whole thing after all, just a soldier. And when you're not on the front lines, well, I'll keep you properly incentivised as my personal toy. If a toy was capable of want I'm sure it'd love nothing more than to serve its function and entertain, no? So chin up, girl, and thank your superior."

A pet knight or a toy soldier, two potential futures of the hapless heroine Joy Williams.

I couldn't have been any more right, predictive power just as potent as precognition. She's doing almost exactly the same thing as Envy, even so I find myself irrationally swayed to defend one over the other. As though it matters, like she says. 

"Fuck you, Nova." I'm surprised to get the words out without interruption and once again wonder if she's still there, knowing she is when I realise her cloying perfume still has its hold. 

Bzzt-- 

"What... what was that noise?" My breath collapses heavy into the air and the silence that greets my question has me tense, wishing so badly that I could see whatever hovers in front of me. After a momentary pause, Nova holding her tongue with only the intimidating quiet keeping me company, I feel it so suddenly it takes me a moment to register...

Zap!

If it could, my body would lurch. Muscles contract and air gushes out of my lungs, stun gun pressed firm against my stomach telling me that Nova is taking her role here more seriously than I gave her credit for. My body is stronger than most, but as someone who has no frame of reference I can say that the intensity of that shock was far worse than I'd anticipated from seeing it used on others. After a small handful of seconds that stretch on for much longer in my mind, Nova pulls her arm away and strokes my cheek with the back of the punishment device that puts Mint's shock collar to shame. 

"I said, thank your superior. With your chin up, if you please." A solitary finger under my chin corrects my sagging head and Nova waits for my revised response, I can practically see her smug grin plastered over that vale of a smile that never leaves my vision.

"I... thank you, Nova." I gag upon my pride, a chew toy of its own. 

The stun gun is pressed back against my exposed midriff and I shudder even when the circuit isn't active. My former hero, a much crueller woman than I'd have ever thought, chuckles low and sultry at her own teasing act. "Address me by my proper title, if you please."

Letting out a few haggard breaths, impressive exertion given I've barely moved an inch, I consider what reply would please her most and decide to be obedient to avoid that second shock I'm unable to see coming. 

...

"Thank you, Handler."

Finale: My Body is a Rifle

I drift in an empty world, nothing but detritus in the infinite vacuum of outer space without a speck of gold ready to deliver to places untold within my mass. I am formless and floating, nothing in this world to tether me to its surface save for weak gravitational forces that cannot hold. In the face of a world that will not have me, I create my own, painting that endless black into colourful spiralling halls for my mind to frolic in frivolity until the next visit comes from her. From handler. 

Sometimes she comes by outside of the sessions and I never hear those clacking footsteps until she's at my front, her perfume the first sign I'm given that she's chose to waste her time on me. It's not a waste, of course, all tools must be well kept and maintained. I'm told that I'm a tool for war, that it's my purpose to be a weapon that won't falter against the garden's corruptive temptation. Weeks ago, or at least what feels like weeks, I would tell the woman to go fuck herself for saying such a thing and she'd give me the punishment I deserve accordingly. 

These days, I find it much easier to just accept what she tells me and be done with it, the woman can be soft and pleasant when I conform to her golden standard. Like I said, she comes by sometimes, I feel her lift my muffs and unplug my ear just to whisper into it with her tongue close enough to paint the inside of my ear with her barely contained lust. Just like she said, she's in my ear, a comfort that corrupts and malforms me with every softly spoken word. Some days she whispers affirmations and on others she gives admonishment, I absorb it all the same and accept what I'm given with little choice in my immobilised state. You may close your eyes, your mouth, but your ears have no mechanism to shut out that which pours into them like a strong liquor. If I'm very lucky, and if Commander Black is feeling particularly pent up on that day, she may even remove this leather neck corset and kiss me until I'm breathless. Naturally, once she's had her fill I'm returned to that drift as quickly as I was taken from it, left to wonder when next I'll feel her touch, hear her voice. Handler has quickly become my entire world, replacing everything I once thought I cared about as the memories grow dim and distant. My lower back, just above my rear, is riddled in needle marks they won't tell me the purpose of. The injections come randomly, I've never managed to predict them or notice a pattern, and I'm always reminded of the fact that my body is not immune to drugs it simply rejects them after long enough time. That's plenty of time for the desired effects to take hold, but what might those be? 

I know and experience so very little now, so it's par for the course really to be left in the dark, in black. I cherish every moment I get to spend with handler as though it is my last, the time I spend with her is all I have and so it's all I care about now, all I'm able to hold onto. I think I love her, Commander Black, even if I know I should despise her. It was nice to play pretend with Brie for a while, act as though a more mutual relationship would work for me, but it's more than a tool like me deserves and I know it. Handler is much more fitting for me, it's what I deserve, callous kisses that keep my mind awake just long enough for her words to instil me with purpose and overwrite old, useless priorities I once held. Cruelty is a kindness when it is wielded with purpose, I've come to learn this.

If I hold out just a little longer, maybe Empress Envy will rescue me and I can stop pretending to be so well disciplined and reliant on my handler's firm praise and strict punishment. I'm only acting, she'll see. Just a little longer and I'll be back home, to that tree I once found my place in. I don't have anywhere here, I don't even know where I am. Commander Black is my only place, I'm tethered to her and so when she isn't here I am nowhere. 

For an undisclosed amount of time I drift in this state of standby, not bothering to think while my handler isn't here to help me with the burden, effectively unconscious even when my eyes stare out into the black of my mask and that injection slowly glides into my body and changes me in ways I've forgotten to even ask about. Eventually Commander Black returns to my front as she always does, removing my restraints and allowing me to lean on her with each difficult step we take out of the room. It's another session, then, my senses still kept in darkness until she sits me down in that hard plastic chair and locks the door to the session room. 

The muffs and plugs come out and are set down into the tray by the door, then my brace and gag. She never removes the blindfold, I'm not sure she ever will. Even if I don't fully understand how, she says my sight won't be necessary in the fight against Envy and that my eyes are as good a sacrifice as any to remind me of my place. Does a rifle need to see what it is aimed at? 

"Do you remember the words from last time? I told you to keep them playing in your mind even as you drift in intermission. If you've forgotten even a single word I'm afraid I won't be very happy, understand." There's not a shred of the vulnerable woman in the manor left and I wonder which was the real Nicole if either. We're so willing to shed our humanity for our goals, it terrifies me. I wonder how Brie is doing, guilty for the thought Commander Black would surely disapprove of. I know I shouldn't feel shame for caring, but I do, she has me in her tainted well of acceptance and I'm spluttering my conscience against the surface of that murky water. 

"Yes." I state plainly, knowing that the shorter my response the less faults handler is able to find in it. At first I thought I'd figured out a loophole with this fact, but soon I realised that she simply wanted me concise and direct to begin with. A good tool does not embellish, doesn't decorate its speech indulgently.

"Then show me. Repeat those words, if you please. You may take a breath first, I know it's a mouthful." The inflatable gag is a mouthful, this is just orders, as close as a godless girl like me is ever going to get to proper scripture. 

Taking a breath as I was told to, even if she phrased it like I had the option, I recite the words carefully and recall that vision of Miss Murmur having me do much the same. "My body is a rifle, wrap your hands around me and pull my trigger until the fire of war has extinguished and then mount me upon your mantlepiece a relic."

"Well done." Envy's training offered incentives of clicks and caramel, while Commander Black's praise is all I have to look forward to in way of reward. Thankfully, then, it's all I desire anymore. "Again, but shorten it. Simplify."

I don't even feel her hands upon me, greedy touch that roams my body as I focus on my orders and nothing else. 

"My body is a rifle, grip me and fire until the fight is won. Then I may be decommissioned."

"Good weapon. Again, simplify."

I'm a good weapon. "My body is a rifle. Fire me at your enemies and then keep me a trophy when you're done."

"That was the same length, more or less. Just the essentials, what did I say about dressing up words?"

"My body is a rifle. Grip me. Use me. End the war."

End the war... and then I'll be handler's toy full time, right? She'll play with me as much as she wants without duty returning me to the black. A world of black in there, a world of Black out here. I've been getting less shocks lately, more praise, it feels fulfilling in its own way even if I'm still just holding out for rescue. I'm just... really good at holding out. It's all an act, I know what I am. I know who I am. I'm just...

"Simplify."

"My body is a rifle, use me to end the war."

A rough grip of thigh, tongue hot against my neck. 

"Simplify."

"My body is a rifle. End the war."

Teeth that sink into my shoulder, nails that drag down my front unhampered.

"Simplify."

"My body is a rifle."

A possessive cupping of my sex, my focus unwavering. 

"Simplify."

"I'm a rifle."

Her touch isn't any of my business right now.

"Again."

"I'm a rifle."

My pleasure is just for her, I have my orders.

"My rifle."

"Your rifle."

Thrumming buzz against my sex, eyes rolling into my fucking skull.

"And when I use you?"

"End the war."

It's so deep inside of me, but I'm not... 

"You're such a good rifle. Session concluded."

I'm... fuck... the praise has me so weak for her even though it's the bare minimum she could give. As an orgasm I'm not privy to tests the soundproofing of the session room, I come to a realisation that really should have been obvious.

...

Maybe I'm a rifle.

It's a drift like any other, I no longer track my time by days, how could I? I find myself afloat in reservoirs of black, drowning myself in passages of handler's spoken word and wondering what if this sightless state of mine is better or worse for me than the colourless landscape Envy had me see. Perhaps it is a mercy that I am no longer made to look upon the sins of her creation... ah, that doesn't sound like something I'd think. It does sound like something my mouth would say during a session with Commander Black, however, and it would appear that the words have finally begun to break through. Handler's mental games are more esoteric than Murmur's, how can I resist her steady dominion over my own thoughts when I can't even understand what she's doing? Daily injections that go unmentioned, words and phrases and discipline that I struggle to follow cleanly even if my well trained body picks up the slack. Does a rifle require understanding? Ah... this is a very similar metaphor now isn't it?

I spend a long time in my thoughts for once, or maybe no time at all, before hands tear the muffs from my head and remove plugs from my ears far more hastily than handler's well measured touch ever has. It's not her perfume either, what's... what's happening? Is this rescue? That's... good... I think. 

"Christ, they really got you strapped in huh? The fuck is Nova's problem?" I hear familiar voice give crass serenade to these starving ears of mine, the woman unclasping my restraints and removing the gag from my mouth. Finally, she hooks fingers into the mask covering my eyes and I feel my heart pounding like the hammer of a rifle, ready to cause a violent ignition of selfish want. Do I really need to see to feel at peace? The blindfold is swiftly removed against my will and I collapse into those strong arms, my rescuer quickly realising I'll have too much difficulty walking on my own two feet. If only I could fly. 

"Mmhuh? What's..." 

"Shush now, I've got you. Fuck... fuck! I can't believe that fucking woman... they told me you were in a cell just like mine, not whatever the fuck this is. Sorry... sorry, I'll calm down. Just pissed, they can't just get away with this shit. Can you open your eyes, Hope?" 

Hope?

"A girl with more names and titles than she has fucks left to give, to borrow from this beast's potty mouth~"

Slowly, I try and open my eyes, the light from the room causing them to strain almost immediately as Brie cradles me like I'm something precious. 

"Ah... don't force it, you'll adjust. C'mon we need to get out of here right now, Sage is waiting in the hangar bay... she's one of us, we can trust her. Just... had to bide her time and god, I don't think she knew... I didn't. Nova's running this base like she's lost her damn mind, at least as a hero she put up a front to hide what she really is." Brie holds my cheeks and I feel awash with confusion, my mouth not able to move and ask any of the myriad questions I'd really like to. Hangar... so we're escaping via aircraft?

Brie throws my arm around her shoulder and walks with haste through corridors I've traversed many times but never laid eyes upon in my life, adjusting sight against that impregnated grey flooring with a slow recognition of those words. So Brie has just been in a cell all this time? No deprivation, no sessions? 

"Handler... I-I mean Commander Black... no..." My voice is hoarse, every step feeling like a betrayal to the woman that has comprised my everything for a length of time I couldn't guess at. It could have only been a week, Brie appears no different, but it could easily have been over a year too. I've no way of knowing without asking, but my voice is failing me, it's so difficult to speak out of turn, to use my voice unnecessarily. It's a misfire of communication, one I know I deserve to be reprimanded for. 

"You mean Nova? Nicole? Jesus, you can't even say that can you? It's not your fault, Hope, we'll be home soon and ah... hey, maybe Envy's evil but... well, given the choice I'm picking her. How about you?" Brie appears to regret the question as soon as she's done saying it, glancing to her side at my conflicted expression and shaking her head calmly. "It's fine, don't answer that. Far as I'm concerned you chose Envy when you were last... relatively unbiased. You're not in a position to think straight right now, are you?" Brie reaches a locked door and pulls out Sage's security pass, getting us through into yet another set of corridors. So Mint's sister really is an Envy loyalist? That shouldn't come as too much of a shock, I suppose. 

"P-Probably not..." I admit, finally blinking away that smile that plagued me the entire time I was here even if I think it burned in some. Fresh images fill my vision, mostly ones of Brie as I steal glances like they're on sale and everything must go. "You're nice. Like really good to me..." I probably sound a little delirious, but only because I've been made to consider myself a tool undeserving of such sweetness for however long I've been down here by myself. 

The beast blushes before slamming the wall with her first, needing a moment to catch her breath. Such anger, this is what Commander Black would set her rifle against.

"Did I... say something wrong?" A part of me wants to brace for a phantom stun gun, though I'd wager Brood's hands could do far more damage if they wanted to. Despite this, she's gentle. 

"You? No, not at all... you're cute as a button like always, even if you're being quieter than usual. I guess I'm just so angry and I don't know where to direct that, y'know? They don't want to unify here... they mean to isolate. I've half the mind to try and take out that woman you can't even address improperly after she's dug her claws into your head and made you... quieter. Guess I'm good to you 'cause someone here has to be, we... ah shit. I had an idea but it's... it's spitting in the face of everything she's done for us today, all that risk. We'd be screwing her sideways, no two ways about it." Brie paces in the narrow corridor leading into hangar bay as I lean against the wall, still wearing this bodysuit I'm finally getting a good look at. Black latex with an exposed midriff, more buckles than I'd be able to count. 

"What is it?" I give the woman a hopeful smile, loving the way she looks at me even more than the way she treats me. After being deprived her sweetness, it's hitting me like a freight train now. 

"We get to the craft and... incapacitate Sage. She's loyal to Envy, so I don't see any other choice." Brie bites her nails, guilt making a mess of her nerves even if she's talking about a brainwashed spy acting between two factions just as morally bankrupt as the other at this stage. 

"Aren't... we loyal to Envy? I-I mean, aren't you?" I don't want to come out and say it, but I don't think I need to. A part of me feels it needs Commander Black's permission to make my mind up on just about anything. 

"Found something I can be loyal to that doesn't have such a bad aftertaste, I guess." Her smile is as charming as it is heart-breaking, does she think a rifle capable of reciprocating that hopeful look in her eyes? Not yet, but maybe I can learn in time. What was it that banner said again? Regain your humanity... relearn your place. Yeah, that's sage advice at a time like this, I think... 

"Brie, I don't know if I..."

"We can go anywhere in the world you want, flower. I'll take you there, guess it'll be just the two of us eh? Far away from all this confusing bullshit... no more wheels." Brie turns back to face me, hand reaching out to rub my cheek as softly as her calloused hands can manage. 

The warmth drains from my body and I step away from that gentle touch, my back pressing against the door we came in through. Clacking footsteps sound from the corridor behind me and I feel a casing of conflict dropping into my chamber. 

"Hey, wrong way. We gotta go quickly, I doubt your absence went unnoticed. C'mon, take my hand I'll help you walk." Brie's as disarming as she is dangerous, my back flattening against the door in fear. 

"What did you call me?" My voice shakes, but I manage the words. 

The woman lets out a short, embarrassed laugh and runs hand through her hair. "Flower? I... aha, you don't like it? I've been trying to come up with a better pet name than prey, oh uh... not pet like... ah forget it, this sorta thing can wait until we're not knee deep in the shit."

I see now... this is all just a test from Commander Black isn't it? She's assessing my loyalty, Brie's probably even more brainwashed than I currently am and playing her role to perfection. I wonder if the slip was intentional or not, but it's tipped me off to the reality of this situation and now I think more clearly than ever. Appropriate thoughts snap back into place and I smile calmly, setting fire to all those fantasies she thought to fill me with and knowing that peace only comes after the war ends. 

"Hope?" The woman steps closer, towering over me like it's supposed to intimidate, but I know better now.

"I can't go. I have to complete my sessions and... end the war." Pride floods me like a fresh injection, I've never felt so sure of anything now I know these promises aren't real. 

Brie retracts her hand, looking at me like I'm radioactive even while my safety's on. If my body is a rifle, this calm expression of mine is a bayonet digging into my would-be saviour's heart, or so she'd have me believe with that hurt look in her eyes. 

"What war?"

That clacking of footsteps finally grows loud enough to reach Brie's less gifted hearing and before she can think to move, to grab my arm and kidnap me unwillingly, the door behind me slides open and a waft of perfume sublimates the ego faster than you could point and shoot. 

"I don't remember sanctioning a tour of the base, Williams." Commander Black sounds more amused than I thought she'd be, her confidence is ironclad when compared to the brittleness of Brie's. "Come along, rifle, we've got another session this morning. You can't leave before you've finished your training can you?" Her smug words are hooks digging into my back, chains dragging me back into her orbit forever. 

My head shakes, as I know it to be the desired response, stepping back into her possessive touch as a leather hand grips my shoulder and another holds my waist, where that small amount of bare skin sits. 

"Hope... fuck... fuck this! She's coming with me!" Brie grabs my wrist tight and yanks me into her arms, my body stumbling forwards into her hold as handler makes no attempt to reach out and play tug of war. 

"No, she isn't." I turn to face the woman I've been trained to crave the approval of above all else, finally looking upon my commander after so long of only knowing her touch, voice and scent. Obviously I've seen the woman before, in a past life that feels so distant, but now I lay eyes upon my commander and understand her to be power incarnate, something Brie can only taste in bouts. Blonde hair hangs down to her chin on either side of her face like knives with the rest of her hair held together at the back by a clip. The colour of her hair is an exception to the black hole standing before me, colour finding its oblivion against this strikingly dark uniform. Sitting atop her head is a black military cap with the insignia of a snake biting into a golden apple, black shirt buttoned up to the very top with black tie hanging down from the collar. Currently left open is her long black coat that she wears over the shirt, draped over this a black leather cape that hangs down to her waist, black pants stretching down to laced up boots as black as the woman's own name. After drifting in black for so long, the sight of this woman is a comforting one, like I'm returning home. It's funny that her opposition should favour the same colour, though her dress is much different. 

Commander Black's face looks tired and yet, frighteningly awake, her confidence making it clear that I'm not to disobey as she disengages safety with so simple a look and gives me an order. Oh, this is just like a session. "Rifle, you're not to go through that door. Pin her against the wall, show me your strength." Removing leather glove with her teeth, handler snaps her fingers and I obey without question, stopping dead in my tracks and gripping the sides of Brie's jacket, hoisting her into the air and slamming her against the wall. 

"H-Hey! Snap out of it, you're not her... fuck what did she just call you?" Brie tries to kick away but even her superpowered strength is just a fraction of my own, I've Commander Black's blood inside of me and she's the most invincible person in the world... in fact, I feel even stronger than before, maybe I could even punch through that damned engine now.

"My body is a rifle." I mutter emotionlessly, the guilt swirling within but not quite reaching my face. This is all just a test anyway, right? If this scenario were real, why would they have only focused on me and left Brie well alone? I'm nothing special, just a tool fit for purpose.

"Very good." The praise infects, my lip a mess of happy sores. "Now throw her away." Commander Black steps closer and her perfume gives me the strength to do as I'm told even when my hand begins to hesitate. Compliance wins out and I grip Brie tight, launching her into the opposite door and watching the beast crash through into the hangar bay. 

Regaining her breath, Brie sits up on the other side of that doorway as handler's fingers clutch my shoulders and tell me that I'll never leave until I'm a finished product, a weapon who doesn't need her eyes to fight, a war it doesn't quite understand and does not have to. 

My attempted kidnapper stands and stares at the two of us in the hallway... no, the corridor. The hurt she shows at the front door of the house haunts me like that vale. Not... wait... where am I?

"I... I can't say I didn't try. Enjoy your new life as a traitor to your own, flower... fuck. I'm off, then." Brie steps into the sun and those hooks prevent me from following her, I watch that back grow more distant as it cuts across suburban scene until I blink again and find her in the hangar, so far away already. Just as my eyes trace the sight of that craft Brie climbs into and I fail to understand what I'm looking at, how something shaped like that could ever hope to to take flight, Commander Black places mask over my eyes and I'm plunged back into my new world of darkness. 

This is fine, this is good... It can only ever play out this way. How many times do I have to prove it, I wonder?

I never want to think for myself again. 

Epilogue: Toi Toi Toi!

Uniform footfalls clack across the hall as the woman making them wears a mask of indifference to hide the frustration she feels at this unnecessary showing. The government here is atrocious, she feels the need for a gag to bite down on every time she's forced to explain herself to them when she should be getting on with her project back at the base. 

"Ah, Nic. There you are, cutting it down to the fucking wire again... I thought you were gonna have me stall again, you're gonna get me fired some day soon you know? Or worse..." A woman with white hair she jokes is from the stress and not her partner's bleach scratches the back of her head, lips pursing tight when she sees how soured Nicole's mood is. "Yeah... they knew it was coming, right? Think they're gonna grill you about stage four again? There must be another way! What happens to us! It's an unnecessary risk!"

"Shepherd, do me a favour and give my ears a rest from your ah... lovely voice. I'm trying to think, what do I even say to those imbeciles? No offence, I suppose." Commander Black rubs her brow and walks the corridor beside her deputy commander who laughs drily at the unnecessary tact. 

"None taken, ma'am, I don't share very much in common with our heads of state despite... well, the obvious. Hey speaking of, I thought you were gonna bring her along today? Then you'd get this 'lovely voice' in stereo, right?" Nicole's subordinate chuckles, seeming to have ignored her superior's request to cease her chatter. It's a symptom of nerves, not everyone is so efficient at bottling it all up. 

"Hmph... hardly, she only speaks when I allow it. A loudmouth like you could learn a thing or two, really. Are we all set for this afternoon?" Her pace slows, Nicole knowing her audience awaits and feeling the usual jitters of stage fright. It could be worse, she could be Joy Williams, poster child for dramatic irony on a level the world has never before seen. 

Shepherd thinks for a moment before nodding confidently. "Oh you mean the field excursion? We got the green light but like... we're taking the girl out so soon for something this dangerous? Last skirmish between Gala and Moth, you almost killed each other... guess we're still working on getting divorce lawyers back eh?" 

"She'll be fine, all being well she should be a natural right? Isn't that the point? Ideally I wanted to have addressed this council after the first operation, then I'd have actual hard data to throw in their fucking faces. 60% or more and they won't have a leg to stand on, they're probably making me come here first on purpose."

The two stop in front of the door as a guard waits patiently, remembering the last time it pre-emptively ushered Commander Black into the room before she had been prepared and shuddering at the memory of what happened to that body. 

"I'll wait out here, it's a little freaky seeing your own face staring down at you from every angle, got enough to unpack with my therapist having you as a boss." Shepherd pats Nicole's shoulder and gives a reassuring smile, both of them knowing that Black will stop at nothing to make sure she's permitted to continue even it goes straight to the top. If they think she's not prepared to talk directly to the leader of this new world order, they're forgetting their history awful quickly. 

"It won't take long, wait for me and I'll buy you a drink after."

"Whatever. Break a leg, you devil."