“Okay, fine. We’ll put off medical intervention for a while. But you’re going to have to stop dancing around the question of what you ‘found’.” Damien groused.

“Yay!” she cheered softly. “Thank you, I promise you’re not gonna’ regret this, ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ.”

Damien clutched his head. “Ow, fuck. Okay, that. Start with that. What the fuck is that?”

She blinked at him a couple of times blankly. “What thing?” she said, the malignant innocence in her regular speaking voice as disarming as it was chilling.

“C’mon, the voice thing! How are you making it physically hurt to listen to you?” he insisted.

She cocked her head to one side like a confused dog. “What, ᴛʜɪꜱ?”

Damien felt another wave of… well, he supposed pain wasn’t technically accurate. It felt like something was pushing outward from inside the marrow of his skull. Like his eyes were imploding. Pressure from a direction he had never considered pressure coming from before. He winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Agh! Yes, that! Wha- what is that?” he finally managed out.

A big goofy grin spread across her face. “Oh, that! Yeah, that’s the thing I found! Pretty cool, right?” she nestled her head against his sternum, radiating calm satisfaction like she had just told him she’s upgraded their cable package. “It’s called ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀɢᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴜɴɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇꜱ.”

Damien winced again, too intrigued to recoil fully. “Convergent Perception… of Ungrounded States?” he muttered, as if to test the words to see if they would make his larynx fall out.

“Lol, wut?” Emma giggled with blissful incomprehension.

Damien cocked an eyebrow, concerned. “That’s what you just said. ‘Convergent Perception of Ungrounded States’.”

“Whoa, it is?” she gasped. “That’s super cool. My head kinda’ gets kinda’ staticky whenever the thing starts talking for me, so it’s good that you’re here to remember what I said, ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ.”

A slight pinprick of unease. It worried him that he already seemed to be building up a tolerance to that unnatural tone. No one’s eardrums should acclimate to such a sound.

“Okay, yes, sure, fine.” he continued with exasperation. “But like, what is it? How did it get into your head?”

She gazed up at him with the pride of a cat presenting its master with a dead bird. “It’s this super nice shape guy who said that all I had to do was give him mosta’ my smarts to start bringing him over to where we are, and then he could get you to stop bein’ such a grump and come touch on me!.” she explained, punctuated by the intermittent sound of her slurping a strand of drool back into her mouth.

“A shape…” Damien turned the possibility over in his head. “So you're saying you met some kind of… fractal entity?”

He could see familiar gears turning behind her eyes, but something had already worn down their teeth, and they struggled to catch. She grunted, a breathy, unconscious sound that signaled an abandoned attempt at rational thought.

For a split second, Damien thought he could see Em back at full brainpower. But when she opened her soft, wet lips, he knew that all he had done was provoke a proper talking to by the entity.

“ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙᴀʀɢᴀɪɴ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴠᴏʟɪᴛɪᴏɴ. ꜱʜᴇ ꜱᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ.” her posture straightened slightly, still flush against his body. The vibrations of the entity’s voice resonated in his spine like algal blooms choking a river, rocking each vertebra with toxic fecundity and unchecked biological need.

“You can’t be serious.” Damien replied, voice flattened with shock.

“ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴇꜱ' ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ "ʜᴜᴍᴏʀ", ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ.” the entity purred, stolen voice dripping with condescension. “ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀꜱꜱᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏ ᴍᴏᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴄᴇɪᴠᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ ᴜɴᴋɪɴᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴍᴇᴀᴛ-ᴛʜɪɴɢ.”

Damien was lucky he was already sitting down, because felt dizzy, both from the sensation of the entity’s otherworldly speech and from the shock and disgust of hearing it refer to Emma – to have Emma refer to herself – as a “meat-thing”. 

The entity paid no heed to his reaction. “ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ᴅᴀᴛᴀ ᴀɴᴀʟʏꜱɪꜱ ᴍᴇᴄʜᴀɴɪꜱᴍꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴅᴇꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ. ʏᴏᴜʀ ɪɴᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇʟʏ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇꜱꜱ ᴍʏ ʜᴏꜱᴛ'ꜱ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟꜱ ᴏꜰ ʙɪᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄᴀʟ ʟᴏɴɢɪɴɢ ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪᴄꜱ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀꜱ 'ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴅɪꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ'.”

“She… she asked a DMT entity to lobotomize her just to work up the courage to ask me out!?” he stammered, trying to make sense of the ethical calculus of all this. Was this his fault?

“Sh… shape…” she whimpered “Damie-daddy touch on Em?” she looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

“I– no, wait, I have more questions!” Damien protested in a panic.

Em looked back down in a huff, before reentering her brownstudy.

She looked back up at him with irritation.

“ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪꜱᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪʀᴅ ᴅɪᴍᴇɴꜱɪᴏɴ.” it… was it pleading? “ʏᴏᴜʀ ǫᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀꜱ, ʀᴇꜱᴛ ᴀꜱꜱᴜʀᴇᴅ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴠᴇꜱꜱᴇʟ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛᴇᴀʀ ɪᴛꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀ ɪᴛꜱ ᴅᴇᴍᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴜʟᴀᴛᴇ ꜱᴏᴏɴ.”

“I-” Damien wanted to protest, but now that he knew that this was an honest-to-Azathoth paranormal occurrence, who was he going to take her to, the hospital? Great way to get her disappeared by the CIA is what that is. He’d read the files. He knew what the suits did to people like them.

He let out a long, weary sigh.

“Okay, fine, Em. You win,” he resigned.

“Yes! I got you!” she cheered, grabbing him and hugging him close as he scooped her up to carry her towards his bedroom (which was easier said than done considering they were about the same weight).

She nestled into the crook of his neck to get a couple of good breaths of his scent before speaking again.

“ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ, ᴡᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴄᴜꜱꜱ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ᴍᴀɴɪꜰᴇꜱᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍ.”

Damien didn’t drop her. It didn’t even kill his erection. 

But even now, carrying the person he supposed he was now officially confident in calling the only woman he’d ever loved to carnally consummate their relationship, he couldn’t help but let the shadow of possible complicity in a world-ending occult ritual cast a damper on the rest of his night.

He was just kind of a bummer like that.