Cooking up some pancakes and bacon and then frying some eggs in the bacon grease wasn't actually that hard... I was a little rusty, but it's not like I'd never used a kitchenette before.

I delivered trays with plates of breakfast and glasses of orange juice and milk to Regina and Stephanie, and saw Stephanie's head was in Regina's lap and she was petting her gently... had she fallen asleep? I set the trays on the bedside table.

Regina smiled at me and a little shudder of arousal went down my spine.

I didn't want to interrupt Regina and Stephanie's time together or Stephanie's nap, so I quietly backed out, and went back to the kitchen.

I made up another tray and took it over to Mika's room, and knocked on the door. "There's breakfast if you want it."

Mika opened the door up, kind of teary-eyed, and looked to the tray in my hands and rolled her eyes and took it from me.

I smiled at her apologetically, and then turned and walked back to the kitchen... I heard her footsteps behind me, and for a moment, I had the idea that she might just kill me-- it's not like Mika was opposed to murder, in theory.

But there was a soft clack as she set down the tray on the counter and started to eat. "Eggs are too greasy, rest is pretty good."

I placed the remaining pancakes, bacon, and eggs on my plate on the counter, poured myself a glass of orange juice, and looked over to her sideways as I took my first bite of eggs-- I thought they were fine, but I guess it was a matter of taste. "You're welcome."

Mika rolled her eyes and we ate in silence for a little while.

Once we were finished, Mika helped me clean up the kitchen-- with her help, it was clean pretty quick.

"Come back to my room." It sounded like an order, not a request, which just made me want to do it more, although also feel a little more apprehensive about it... regardless, it wasn't like I was going to make up with her by not going back to her room.

I followed her, and when I was in, she grabbed my shoulder and slammed me facedown into her bed. I squeaked, and struggled for a moment, only to find her knee on my back. "Don't struggle. It's storytime."

"Ooh, storytime!" I forced some enthusiasm into my voice. I was not entirely comfortable with this form of storytime, but it's not like she had a knife and was about to murder me, as far as I knew. I told myself if she were going to murder us all, I wouldn't be her first target, just from a practicality perspective, and she probably hated me less than Regina or Stephanie.

Probably.

I had just made her breakfast.

Mika inhaled, exhaled. I could hear her breathing now, a bit calmer. "Did Stephanie or Regina tell you how they conditioned that reaction into me?"

"No?"

Mika sighed and laid her hand on my head, petting it gently. "It started out a day like any other. Lucinda woke me up and I ate my food-- I had learned they'd just forcefeed me if I didn't eat, and I think some of them got off of it, so I had mostly stopped trying. I realized halfway through it was drugged, but it wasn't like she wasn't going to pin me down and give me a shot if I refused to eat."

I wanted to hug her.

"So yeah, I was a little drugged up... things felt good to the touch, and she told me I could rest on my bed, and I thought she was just trying to make nice, you know? I mean, it's always a trick, but... sometimes the trick is being nice, so I didn't fight much." Mika's hand rested on my neck as she paused.

Honestly, her weight focused on her knee on my back was getting kind of uncomfortable, but I didn't want to interrupt her.

"So..." Mika took a deep breath.

I waited.

"So there was this guy, I forget his name. Lucinda used to say he was interested in me, I think just to suss out of if I was bi. He came in, and pushed me down... pinned me down, and started groping me until I came. Way bigger and stronger."

"...Oh. I'm sorry."

Mika flipped up my skirt, and I squirmed as she rubbed her fingers against my crotch, and leaned down closer to my shoulders, , pressed her wet fingers up against my face so I could smell them. "This is sticky. You're not sorry, you're aroused."

I felt my face heating up, and tensed. This felt unfair. "Hey! I can be two things at once!"

"Okay, yeah. Sure." Mika pulled her hand away, neither pleasuring me or flipping my skirt back down to protect my dignity. I couldn't tell if she believed me.

I wanted to ask what happened next, but pushing her felt like a bad idea.

Mika played with my hair nervously. "Then he fucked me. I was drugged up enough I came from that, too. And then he just left me there, and I felt utterly alone. I could probably have crawled back to Lucinda and begged her for comfort, but it would be hollow, and I'd hate myself more. So I didn't."

She was silent for a little while. "I didn't want to eat after that, but she made me... drugged me again. Slightly different set. This time it was her who pinned me down, and I struggled but the drugs were too much, and she made me cum too. I asked her why she was doing this, and she just said it was training. She could help..."

Mika's grasp tightened on my hair. "...that's how she framed it all, y'know. All the rape, all the torture... she was just being kind to me. Helping me into my new role. She was 'disappointed' when I 'made things hard for myself' and she 'had to punish me'." She laughed, but there was no humor in it.

"They'd use my tits or my pussy or my mouth, see how far they could push me, and I just learned to take it. This one guy would pin me down and fuck my ass while he watched videos on his phone. I dunno if that was part of training to make me feel like more of an object, his kink, or like... maybe he was just that bored with it. Maybe rape loses it's novelty after you've been doing it for years and years."

"After a while if I resisted at all, they'd fuck me in ways I couldn't cum from, or edge me and stop me from cumming. If I didn't resist, I might get to cum. I'd occasionally even get a little cuddling or attention, although it was no guarantee of it."

"So... yeah. I'd keep getting dosed on various things, and people would keep pushing me down and raping me, at first making sure I came multiple times, but that became less and less of a priority, and I was drugged less and less. I just... got used to it, I guess." She took a shuddering breath.

"It was easier to let my mind get hazy when I got pushed down then deal with it when someone was raping me for the thousandth time. A little vacation from my brain, and I only felt empty and hollow afterwards... and when they were just a tiny bit nice to me, I felt fucking grateful to my rapists until my mindhaze cleared up a little. So yeah. That's where you're taking me when you push me down."

...well. I was feeling pretty shitty about that. "I'm sorry, Mika. I knew it didn't come from anywhere good, but I thought... you were okay with it. That you wanted it?"

"Yeah, but after I got needy on you, you just... left me. You didn't say no, you didn't hug me, you just... left. Stephanie may be an asshole to me, but at least she doesn't leave me alone after she pins me down and rapes me. She'll hug me and...." Mika trailed off, and started crying quietly.

"Can I hug you now?"

Mika moved off from on top of me, my back feeling immediate relief from the lack of pressure.

I moved up into a kneeling position, and snuggled close to her, pulling her body against mine and cuddling her tight. "It'll be okay."

Mika hugged me back, and shook her head. "No it won't." Her voice was soft.

I stroked her back. It was heaving slightly... maybe she was trying not to cry. "I talked to Regina. She said she'd talk to Stephanie about getting you a safeword, if you wanted."

Mika stopped holding onto me and collapsed against me. "What's the fucking point? If she ever gets tired of me or upset with me, she's going to get rid of me. I can't have a real safeword when she'll just blow past it whenever she wants. Or worse, get rid of me because she's annoyed by me using the safeword." 

I kissed the top of her head. "Maybe not, but if she did respect it... don't you think you'd feel a little better about your life?"

She rubbed her face against my shoulder. "It'd mean I was consenting to all of this, basically."

It took me a moment to form a coherent response to that.

"Um... Mika, you asked them to take you in, and said you'd do whatever in return, right? I'm sure Stephanie thinks of that as blanket consent. And Regina... I don't think you openly hating this makes your position here more secure."

Mika growled softly. "Maybe." It sounded a bit reminiscent of Stephanie's growls, now that I thought about it... is that where she had picked it up?

I stroked her head. "So why not take what little power you're able to? Like, if you had an employer who pays you shit, would you not ask for a raise? What's the worst thing that could happen, realistically?"

"...fine. I'll talk to Stephanie about it sometime." There wasn't a ton of hope in Mika's voice, and I didn't really believe her.