My dreams were a confused cocktail. Sometimes I was Eva, constantly providing humiliating sexual services to an endless stream of men. Sometimes I was Erin, having a carefree life that seemed both ordinary and alien. A life of shopping and fashion. A life where a woman could do something other than sexually please men.

In the early morning Jenny snuck back into my room and gently woke me. I awakened confused. I saw her and realized she was a friend.

Jenny whispered, “Erin, good morning. I’m glad you’re awakening to your real self. You’re going to have to pretend to be Eva until we escape. You won’t remember most of what Eva is supposed to do. We needed to awaken you yesterday so you could help in your own escape.”

I sat up and nodded. “What do I need to do to act like Eva?”

“Basically, you need to act as if you desperately need to please men. You need to pleasure men and satisfy their every sexual whim. Address men as ‘sire’ and be obsequious. Say ‘yes, sire’ and ‘no, sire.’ When a man comes in to fuck you, you get on your knees and say, ‘How may I please you, sire?’ When he’s done, you get on your knees and tell him, ‘Thank you for the opportunity to serve you, sire.’ It will be humiliating. If you want to escape, you need to put everything you have into this act. Can we count on you?”

“Yes. I understand. When do we escape?”

“Mark plans to pick us up after lunch. We’ll sneak to a brainwashing table room and we’ll each hide in a container. Be ready. It should be easy to get ready. We don’t have any possessions to take back.”

“Won’t our kidnappers notice we’re gone?”

“Eventually. No one will look in our rooms for a few hours once this starts. Mark arranged it. When our kidnappers find we’re gone, we’d better be long gone.”

“Who are these kidnappers?”

“Mark and his friends are trying to find out. They call themselves ‘New Americans’ so that’s the best answer for now. Mark and Sven don’t know how many there are. Even worse, the population here is growing fast. Stealthy kidnapping helps them grow their population. It’s also easy to grow the local population when women are completely obedient. Mark says there are many buildings where women are baby-making and baby-raising machines. You can imagine what every child is trained to believe. You can’t even see the real temple building from here. It has multiple wings filled with temple prostitutes. We’re in one of the many overflow buildings for housing temple prostitutes. The population explosion of New America is overwhelming. This movement may soon be impossible to stop once it has some more people and becomes technologically self-sufficient.”

“Was Mark serious about people being killed or tortured if we’re caught?”

“Deadly serious. The men who created this movement believe they’re restoring society. They believe men should be in control and women should obey men. Any interference with that mission is treated harshly. It’s legal here to use mind control devices on men as lie detectors and mind readers. It’s illegal to torture men or modify men’s minds in any way. Don’t think they treat men lightly, though. If a man works against male control of women, or helps a woman escape, he is executed once it is verified. Even worse, there are absolutely no limits on torture of women or using mind control devices on women. As a woman you do not want to caught fighting or escaping male control. Trust me, the men who get caught have it better.”

I gulped. This was terrifying. I would never be ready for my new reality. I decided it would be best to change the subject. “What do I do now?”

Jenny grimaced and said, “Breakfast. We don’t have much time. I’ll go ahead. Get dressed in the green lingerie. In five minutes, go out to the right and down the hall to the dining area. Do what the other women do. Pretend you’re tired. Don’t call attention to yourself.”

Jenny left through the curtains.

I needed a quick visit to the toilet. Opposite the curtained bedroom entrance was another doorway. This doorway led to a bathroom. The bathroom doorway had no door or any other covering. Clearly I was not permitted to have privacy. The sink on the left had a large shelf and was covered with beauty products. The shower on the right was large. It could easily hold three people. I suspected it was large so men could fuck me there. A simple ordinary toilet was on the far side opposite the doorless doorway. I urinated. I knew I would be exposed to anyone who walked into the bedroom while I toileted.

I returned to the bedroom and put on the green lingerie. It was a translucent dress that emphasized my exposed nipples. It had a hemline barely below my crotch. I left my bedroom after five minutes. I did my best to follow Jenny’s instructions. I put on a tired face. This was an easy act. My recent tortured dreams and fears had left me tired.

I walked down the hallway. I emerged into a dining room filled with women. Many women were at cafeteria tables eating breakfast. Others were in a line. The line snaked around towards an opening in the wall. I suspected the food was distributed there. Most women were dressed in lingerie. A few were completely naked. Several of the naked women had welts on their bare behinds. The room was strangely quiet. The sounds were primarily of utensils and dishes. None of the women were talking. All kept their heads bowed. I bowed my own head and got in line.

The line turned a corner to a room with an odd scene. In the center of the room was a 9 foot tall metal statue of a naked muscular man with an obscenely large cock. The statue was a fountain. White liquid streamed out of his cock head into a basin in front. The liquid streamed back from the basin into a base under the statue. One by one the women knelt in front of the statue. Each woman placed her mouth into the stream to get a good swallow. After swallowing each woman murmured something. She would then rise and move to the next part of the line.

As the line inched forward I got closer to the statue. I could begin to hear what the women were saying. Each one reverently murmured, “I vow to be submissive, obedient, and respectful to men. My purpose is to please men. Men have the right to use my body in any way they see fit. I devote myself to the service of men. When there is a conflict I will obey the hierarchy of men.”

I didn’t like the statements. I certainly didn’t want to be trapped here forever saying them. When my turn came, I did my best to replicate their actions. I put my mouth into the stream and got a good swallow. I realized it was soy milk. This wasn’t my favorite. At least it wasn’t cum. I swallowed and reverently murmured, “I vow to be submissive, obedient, and respectful to men. My purpose is to please men. Men have the right to use my body in any way they see fit. I devote myself to the service of men. When there is a conflict between men I will obey the hierarchy of men.”

I wasn’t normally that good at memorizing lines. I somehow knew every word of this vow. This must be a residual memory from my time as Eva. I must have said this vow thousands of times. I somehow knew that this was the “feminine vow.”

I felt an urge to fulfill this vow. Planning to escape was clearly against this vow. I felt an urge to tell others that I was being tempted to become a traitor. A betrayer. I needed to beg for forgiveness. I needed forgiveness for failing my vow. I found it difficult to resist the desire to reveal the plan to betray my kidnappers. I worked to squelch the desire to expose the plan. I resisted, with effort.

I stood up and got into the next line.

I received a plate with two pieces of plain wheat toast. It came with a bowl of plain grits and a side of vitamin pills. I saw no condiments anywhere. I also received, as a beverage, a warm glass of water. I took the unappetizing meal, such as it was. I went to a table. I did my best to act like every other woman. After wordlessly eating and drinking I went back towards my bedroom. No one seemed to think my actions were unusual.

I couldn’t wait to escape this hell hole. If I could keep up this façade a little longer, I’d be free.

I re-entered my bedroom. Jenny joined me a few minutes later.

Jenny said, “You did well. You’ll need to prepare for your shifts. Take a shower. After that, follow the schedule on your nightstand. It will tell you what to wear and what kind of make-up to use for each client. When he comes in, get on your knees and say, ‘How may I please you, sire?’ in the most earnest way you can. When he’s done, get on your knees and tell him, ‘Thank you for the opportunity to serve you, sire.’ Remember to address all men as ‘sire’ and do everything you can to please them. You’ll get some rest after each shift. It won’t be as long as you’d wish.”

I nodded assent. Jenny seemed satisfied. She left to prepare for her own shifts.

The nightstand had a small mirror, small clock, and a paper schedule. I read the paper schedule. I needed to hurry. I showered and prepared for my first client. For this client I was required to wear a red negligee that covered my nipples but had a plunging neckline. I needed to wear red eyeshadow to match. I also inserted some lube in my cunt. The schedule reminded me lube was required for each client unless stated otherwise. There was even a cartoon bubble saying, “Remember, a slick cunt makes a happy cock!” I feared I was running late in my preparations.

My fear sped my every action. I was ready fifteen minutes before my first client. Perhaps having that extra time was a mistake. I now had time to think about what I was about to do today. I’d been a virgin when I was kidnapped. My body might no longer be a virgin, but in my mind I was still a virgin. I would have never sold my body for any price.

My emotions told me I was a 21-year-old college student. I led a charmed life. My rich daddy made sure I could buy anything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. No one had ever told me “no.” My mommy had taught me the ways of the sisterhood. I’d learned the pleasures of fashion, shopping, and good wine. I’d learned the joys of exotic foods. How to enjoy travel. How to enjoy a life of ease. How to flirt to get young men to do your bidding. In a few years I hoped to marry a rich man. I’d have a spectacular all-about-me wedding ceremony while wearing a gorgeous gown. We would move into a mansion to have two daughters, a nanny, and a cat. I expected a doting husband. If he stopped doting, I’d divorce his ass and keep half his stuff.

My intellect told me I was now a 28-year-old woman in a dangerous place. Most of my joys would never happen again. No travel, no shopping, no fine dining. I’d have to stay away from the outside and even windows. I would never have children. Instead, I had a schedule of clients who I would have to sexually service today. I’d even have to act delighted about it.

The seconds ticked by. I was horrified by my situation. I tried to think of ways to escape without providing sexual services. None came to mind. Fear gripped me. I had never needed courage. After a life of ease, courage was hard to find.

Finally a man arrived in my bedroom through the curtain. He was wearing a dark suit and tie, with polished black shoes. He was about 5’11”. His dark brown beard made his age hard to guess. He seemed to be in his late 20s.

A man! I had a deep desire to please him and obey him. I knew this was a side-effect from years of brainwashing. I couldn’t help how I felt. I also didn’t dare disobey now.

I knew what I had to do. I knelt and in my most cheerful voice asked, “How may I please you, sire?” I felt dread. I had to hide it. If he saw my dread, I might never escape.

He grunted. “Stand and turn around slowly, cunt.”

“Yes, sire.”

I stood and turned all the way around slowly. I kept my hands down to let him see all of his property.

He grunted, “I’m in a hurry. Strip, turn away from me, get on all fours.”

“Yes, sire.”

I did as instructed. After I got on all fours I rotated my hips to ensure he would have easy access to my cunt. I stared at the floor.

He moved to my side and pressed my face into the carpet. I was forced to bring my forearms down so my hands and elbows were on the floor. He grunted, “stupid cunt, you should know better. Face down, ass up.” My nose hurt from being pressed into the carpet. I kept my face in the carpet. I pushed my ass even higher to present it to him. I stared straight down. The only thing I could see was the carpet.

I could hear him unzip his pants and fiddle with his clothes. He soon knelt behind me.

Without warning he thrust into my cunt. I reminded myself that as Eva I had been violated countless times. Yet it wasn’t the same. I was a virgin as far as my normal memories were concerned. I had been holding on to my virginity for a special day. I had dreams of an amazing first night after my wedding.

I was now giving away my virginity to a man I didn’t know. I couldn’t even see his eyes, or his face, or his body. I was an object to him. My first time, instead of being special, was as a nude cocksocket. I would never get my virginity back. I stared at the floor. I was horrified at what was happening to me.

He smacked me hard on my butt. “What’s wrong with you, cunt? Are you going to limply stay on all fours? Give me some good service or I’ll report you.”

I instinctively trembled. Did I displease a man? Displeasing a man was worse than death! I tried to control my brainwashed emotions. Even if I ignored my desire to please him, if I didn’t please him I might never escape. “I’m so sorry, sire. I will do my best to serve you well, sire.” I pressed back with my hips and cunt to grind and pleasure him. After a few minutes he came into my unprotected cunt. After his release, he gave me a few hard thrusts to show me who was in charge.

I bowed my head. He smacked me again on my naked butt and stood up. He said, “You’ve been better. Get your act together or you’ll be reported. I’d report you now but I need to go.” With that, he left.

Once I was sure he’d gone, I collapsed into a quiet cry. Instead of a special first night, I’d been deflowered by a man I didn’t know. I didn’t even know his name. He was a man who had dehumanized my first time. A man who had made me stare at the carpet while he took my virginity from me. A man who had disapproved of my actions. A man who didn’t consider this event, or me, important at all.