Iron dug into my wrists. My shoulders ached from holding my arms high. My eyes blinked open to reveal a dimly lit dungeon cell with rough hewn stone walls and metal bars. But how? Finnick and I had escaped. I remembered leaving town and breaking to camp on the trail to the Abbey. So how had I ended up back here? And where was Finnick? And what happened to my clothes? I suddenly realized my nudity as I felt the jagged stone wall digging into the exposed flesh of my ass. 

“Finnick?” I called, voice echoing down the hallway. I knew he could release these bindings if I could only find him, but no response came. Midnight, they must have separated us this time. Still, he would free himself and come for me. Right? 

Then the slow, steady rhythm of footsteps began to bounce off the stone walls. Finnick wouldn’t walk that way in a situation like this. I tensed, waiting for the figure to reveal themselves. They must have carried a torch because already a beam of bright light pierced the darkness. A woman’s voice spoke from down the corridor. It only uttered a single word. “Why?” 

I craned my neck, but still couldn’t make out the speaker. “Why, what? Who are you?” I answered, trying my best to conceal my growing fear. 

“Why?” the voice repeated. 

It sounded bizarrely clear despite the distance. “I fear you need to be more specific,” I shot back. I had to squint as the figure approached. The blinding brilliance stung as harshly as the sun itself. 

“Why?” This time the voice echoed off the cavernous walls, impossibly loud. 

“It’s you, isn’t it?” I asked, a knot forming in my throat. “Solaris?”

The silhouette crossing in front of the bars confirmed my suspicions. Fire formed every part of her body. Her skin glowed with a shimmering yellow light. Tongues of orange and red cascaded down her back in a series of ever shifting curls. Brilliant, white light wrapped around her in a shroud of heat. 

And then there were the eyes. 

The fine features of her face remained concealed by the dazzling brightness, except for her eyes. The two fervent flames of red pierced the haze like arrows. I searched her burning visage for any kind of clue to her meaning. Why had I stolen the pearl? Why had I escaped from prison?

But I had my own questions. “You appear to me now? A lifetime of devotion to you, and only now that I’ve forsaken your teachings do you bother to show yourself to me,” I yelled, trying desperately to conceal my trembling. “I don’t owe you anything.” 

“Why?” The repeated question was her only answer. 

The heat of my own temper surged in my stomach. “Fine then. If you won’t answer me, I’ll provide the questions myself. You want to know why? Why I stole? Why I forsook you? I did it because I’m tired.” 

Solaris cocked her head. 

“I’m tired of being looked down on. I’m tired of being treated like I’m less than. I’m tired of being told no. Errol offered me something you never did, power, real power, the power to change things.” I finished, my chest heaving. 

Solaris extended a hand towards me, the iron bars melting to smoldering globs of molten metal before her awesome heat. The light turned into blinding pain, consuming everything. 

And then I woke up. 

A hand was reaching down towards me. Acting on instinct, I grabbed its wrist and twisted as I sat up, flinging my attacker to the ground. I pinned the figure down with a diving knee. 

“We really . . . should,” a familiar voice said through strained breaths. “Stop ending up like this,” he finished with a cough. 

As my eyes adjusted to the night’s darkness, I finally recognized Finnick on the ground below me. “What were you doing?” I asked, still groggy. 

“It looked like you were having a nightmare,” he sputtered. “I was gonna wake you up.” 

“Oh, well thank you, I suppose,”  My heartbeat finally started to slow from the vision of Solaris.

“Any . . . cough . . . time.”

I shifted my knee and loosened my grip on his chest, but stayed leaning over him. “Is Errol still asleep?” 

“He is,” Finnick said, before sucking in a huge breath. “Whatever spell he cast on that pearl seemed to really take it out of him.”

“So what you’re telling me is, we have some privacy,” I said, as the seed of an idea began to grow, a way to push Solaris’s image from my mind.

“Mira?” Finnick asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re getting that look again. I don’t know if I like that look.”

“I think we both know that you do,” I said as I leaned over him, eager for any distraction from my disturbing dreams. “You know, we never got to finish what we started in the dungeon.”

“And you want to finish it now? Right here? Right now? With Errol right there?”

I brought our lips together, swallowing his objections. “I do. You’ll just have to be quiet. Can you do that for me?” I asked as my other hand slid between his legs and began to stroke.  

He squirmed under my touch. “It’ll be hard,” he said. 

“It’s already hard,” I countered, as I felt him stiffen. The fire of Solaris’s judgement finally gave way to another heat building deep within me. “Just be quiet for me and obey.” 

“Yes, Mira” he whispered. “But I don’t really know if we should. Aren’t we infiltrating your Abbey tomorrow?”

“That’s all the more reason why we should.” I nipped at his ear. “We’re about to take on the most elite fighting force in Elysia.” 

“Well, yes, but . . .” he stammered. 

I moved down to plant a kiss on his neck. “The Knights of the Dawn Bringer boast some of the most deadly swordswomen in the world. Why, the Dawn Blade Amara could vanquish a legion on her own.”

“I’m not sure I really need to be reminded . . .”

“And that’s to say nothing of the clerics. They could sear us with beams of holy light,” I said in a hush as I began undoing my night shirt. 

“Mira, really, what’s your point?” 

I brought my gaze to meet his. “My point is that we could die tomorrow. So do you wish to spend what could be your last night resting? Or do you want to spend it living?” I said as I lifted my shirt off. 

Finnick answered with a savage kiss, pressing my lips apart and forcing his tongue into my mouth. His nimble fingers found the stiff bud of my nipple in a flash. A soft moan escaped my throat before I could silence it.

“Now who needs to be quiet?” Finnick teased. 

“Do not mock me,” I said, still taking care to keep my voice low. 

“Yes, Mira,” Finnick answered like he always did. It still sent a shiver running through me. 

I felt my hunger stir at those words, like a beast emerging from slumber. “Now take your clothes off,” a voice growled from deep within me as I released him from my grip. 

“Yes, Mira.” Finnick obeyed instantly, only rousing the beast further. In the darkness, I couldn’t make out the contours of his lean muscle, so I explored with my hands, tracing every chiseled line. He returned the gesture in kind, pulling me towards him. Two sets of hands, groping and grabbing in the blackness. The pungent smell of sweat filled my nose, but I cared not. I paid no heed to the smell or the dirt or the leaves, or even the lingering image of divine judgement burning a hole in the back of my head. 

This man was mine. Only that mattered.

I laid back, bringing Finnick above me. “I want you on top. That’s how I always imagined my first time.” 

The steady caress of his hands paused. “Mira, is this your first time?”

The beast fumed at his hesitation. “What of it? You were my first kiss and now I want you to be my first passion as well.”

“I was your first kiss?” His body tensed under my touch and even in the dark, I could see a flicker of sadness pass over his face. 

“What’s the matter?”

He turned away. His mouth opened several times before finding the words. “You just deserve better.”

I placed a hand on his cheek and brought his face back to mine. “Finnick, you do not get to tell me what I deserve. I am about to betray everything I once stood for. I don’t want to hear about what I deserve, only what I chose and I chose you.”

“But you’re a knight,” he balked.  “I’m just a two-bit thief. I’ve let down everyone who ever trusted me. Your first time shouldn’t be with someone like me.”

I felt a deep roar somewhere in the back of my mind. “I will not tolerate your disrespect of the man I chose,” I said, as my voice grew firm and my hold on his chin tightened. “No more hesitation, or doubt, or questioning your worth. I want you to fuck me like you mean it. You’ll fuck me like an animal in heat, till your desire for me chases those thoughts from your mind and you dream only of my face and body. Do I make myself clear?” 

His eyes lost their keen focus for a moment and he seemed to stare blankly into space, processing my commands. “Yes, Mira.” he mouthed vacantly. Then the fire returned and he pounced. The sudden ferocity took me by surprise as I fell to the ground. Before I knew it, he had both my hands pinned over my head in one of his and his other hand was sliding towards . . . towards . . . pleasure.

I thought my experience with Liana had prepared me for his touch, but I was delightfully wrong. His fingers moved with a cat-like grace, toying and teasing around my entrance. Still, I managed to keep my ministrations to a low whimper, at least until he slid a finger inside. Then I couldn’t suppress the moan of ecstasy any longer. 

“Quiet, remember,” he teased with a devilish smirk. 

“I can’t . . I can’t,” was all I could manage to gasp. 

“Let me help,” Finnick said as he brought his lips down to mine. 

His fingers played my body like the strings of a lute, every pluck and strum perfectly placed and impeccably timed. My hips settled naturally into the rhythm his fingers set, rocking and rolling in time with his strokes. Still, the relentless dance of his tongue kept me too breathless to scream. I closed my eyes and melted into the sensation, only to open them again when the cold night air brushed against the exposed flesh of my legs. Having removed the last of my clothing, Finnick pressed his weight down upon me, hooking his legs between mine and pushing them apart.

No sooner had I spread for him than he climbed atop me, his tip brushing against my entrance. He hovered there for a moment looking down at me, steely eyes glinting in the moonlight.

 “What are you waiting for?” I panted. 

“This part may hurt,” he answered, before lowering a hand to my sex. He parted my lips with the nimble ease that I was rapidly coming to expect from him. Then, he thrust forward with force. I felt a pinching tightness and a flash of pain, but then he was inside. My whole body shuddered at the sudden feeling of fullness. 

He started slowly at first, shifting within me, finding the best position. At first the sensation was one part pain and one part pleasure. Even that blend tightened the knot forming deep in my stomach, but suddenly he found just the right angle and my eyes went wide at the feeling. He must have noticed, based on the smug satisfaction that came over his face. 

Then he started moving in earnest, pumping in and out in a gradually accelerating rhythm. My body matched his pace effortlessly, driving him deeper with every thrust. My legs trembled in euphoria. My head fogged with arousal. My fingernails dug into his back. One thought kept repeating endlessly in my mind. 

So this is what it’s like. 

As my eyes rolled up, I saw Liana laying naked on the cave floor, writhing in ecstasy. At last my turn had arrived. I knew I must have looked similar, splayed out before Finnick, offering everything to him, but any thoughts of modesty lay discarded along with my clothing and my oaths. Perhaps this pleasure would pale in comparison to the magic Liana had felt, but I couldn’t imagine a better feeling. 

“Fuck, Mira, I’m getting close,” Finnick said at last. I had no idea how much time had passed. Time had ceased to exist. “I should pull out.” 

He started to pull away, but my grip tightened around his arm. “No . . . Stay,” I panted. I was not about to be denied the full experience. “It’s safe . . It’s an enchantment. . . They do it to us all . . . so we won’t disgrace the Abbey with a bastard child.”

“You mean?”

“Yes. I want you to finish inside me,” I ordered, feeling my own arousal mount at just the thought. 

“Yes, Mira,” he said as that cocky grin returned. Then he redoubled his efforts, picking up the pace even more, the knot of pleasure coiling within me spiraling tighter with every movement. As my hips rose to meet his thrust, a hand slid under my ass and pressed me tight against him. It drove him even deeper than before, and at last I felt it, the warmth, filling me completely. 

The knot snapped. 

I screamed and wrapped my arms around him. The tension left Finnick’s body as he collapsed on top of me. We stayed like that for a moment, chests pounding with ragged breath. “Midnight, That was amazing.” 

“It was,” he said. “It was the best I’d had since Clara, maybe even better.”

“Who’s Clara?” I asked quietly. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned her. I’d prefer not to talk about it,” he said, with a note of melancholy.

I considered pressing him, but hearing that sadness, I thought it best not to. So we just lay there for a while, basking in the warmth of each other’s bodies.

Finnick finally broke the silence. “Was that how you imagined your first time, Mira?” 

I ran a hand down his back. “In truth, I never knew if there would be a first time. The Knights of the Dawn Bringer frown on such passions.” Yet another sin for my growing collection. “I’m quite new to all of this. For better or worse my only role model in such things has been him,” I said, pointing towards Errol. 

I felt a wet spot against my leg. I looked down at the disheveled mess that had been my cot, and noticed a small spattering of blood on it, but that couldn’t dampen the mood. “Although, I suppose a real bed would have been nice.” We both laughed at that. 

“Guess we weren’t exactly quiet,” Finnick said.

I glanced over to Errol’s cot, which seemed undisturbed. “He has certainly subjected me to enough of his own antics. He can’t be angry if I do the same on occasion. Besides, he appears to have slept through it.” 

“I’ve been awake the whole time, actually,” Errol said, as if it were the most casual observation in the world. “I don’t sleep too well anymore. Must be something about getting older.” he sat up and slipped something into his pocket. 

“So . . so you heard all of that?” I stammered, as Finnick rolled off me. I pulled the sheet over my naked body, suddenly feeling terribly modest.

“Everything you said to Finnick is right, you know. We’re about to face some of the most dangerous warriors in the kingdom with just the three of us. We could all die tomorrow, so I wanted you to have your fun.”

“Inspiring as always, Master,” I said, pulling the sheet tighter. 

“But if this goes to plan, I promise it’ll be worth the risk. How’s that for inspiration?” Errol said, eyes flashing with a glint of predatory fire. “Now do try to get some rest. I’ll take the next watch. I have a lot to think about.” He took whatever it was from his pocket again and started turning it in his hand. 

 I rolled over to face away from Errol, not bothering to get dressed again. I did my best to focus on the memories of tonight, but already the dread of tomorrow dogged my thoughts. Could I really betray the sisters of my order? Could Errol’s plan even work if I did? 

“Mind if I join you?” Finnick whispered behind me, breaking the spiral of my fear. 

“Please do.”

He sidled up behind me and wrapped an arm possessively around my stomach. The warmth of Finnick’s body pulled me back to the present. Finally, my mind calmed and I slept.  

—

The Abbey was an imposing complex of gold and white buildings, laid out across carefully tended lawns and connected by pale cobble pathways. It broke up the forest like an old scar, the dense trees giving way to a spacious, sprawling campus. At the center of it all was a massive church to Solaris, its bell tower carving an imposing silhouette against the morning clouds. Spires of white stone rose from the earth like monuments to purity. Golden filigrees decked the edges of the slate roofs and marble towers. On either side of the cathedral sat square courtyards, with residential and administrative rooms arrayed around each. The sight of it brought me both comfort and terror. 

My home. Or, at least, what used to be my home. 

“Remember, just stick to the plan and everything will be fine,” Errol said from over my shoulder, the chains of his manacles jangling as the two of us approached. “Say the plan back to me.” 

I sighed. We’d been over it at least half a dozen times, but that did little to calm the colony of nervous butterflies living in my stomach. “I’ll claim to have defeated you, and march you off to the dungeon.” 

“Remember to sell it,” he said. Again. 

“I know,” I said. Again. “Then, when I see an opening, I’ll challenge the most capable warrior I can to a duel and put her under my control with Oathbreaker.” 

“Be sure to challenge someone you can beat,” he repeated. 

“Yes, I’m aware.” I could barely mask my annoyance. “When the challenge starts, I’ll flare all the torches with my magic. That’ll be Finnick’s symbol to release you.”

“Then from there, you’ll use Oathbreaker to subdue the others, while I deal with your Matron, Sierra.” 

“Her name is Sienna.” 

“Her name will be whatever I tell her it is by the time I’m done.” 

I bit my lip, unsure if the feeling in the pit of my stomach was dread or arousal. I wished Finnick was with us, although I knew he was following, hidden somewhere. It would have calmed my nerves to have him by my side.

At last, we reached the massive wooden door of The Abbey of Solaris. Two women in gleaming armor stood flanking the entrance. One of them nodded to the other and headed inside, seeing us approach. The remaining guard came to greet us.

“Mira, you’re alive,” she called out. “I guess I owe Belle five gold after all.” She laughed. I recognized Arynn’s snarky tone immediately and met her with a barely contained eye-roll. She wore her chestnut hair in a short, boyish cut. She carried no sword, but at least eight visible knives, and likely more concealed ones. The symbol of Solaris on her breastplate showed a sunrise with three golden beams radiating out from it, which was three more than I had. 

“Yes, the journey proved rather taxing with this one in tow,” I said, yanking Errol’s chain. “But I did successfully capture him.” The lying was getting easier. Errol of course, was trotting out his usual prisoner routine and sullenly studying the ground.

“Brought him back alive, huh? I always knew you were soft.” 

Soft? She would see just how ‘soft’ I was once I had them all begging at my feet, the beast inside me growled. I had half a mind to challenge Arynn to a duel right there, but I restrained myself. “I thought it best not to spill unnecessary blood in the name of the Goddess.” 

“Right, right,” Arynn said, still nodding and studying Errol. She turned and opened the massive door. “Well, you’d better get inside and report to Matron Sienna.”

As the door opened, a short, curvy figure stepped out and made straight for us. Her dark brown skin shone in the morning sun. The white and gold of her cleric robes flapped and the locks of her box braids bounced as she ran down the stairs. “Mira! You did it! I always knew you would,” she squealed, as she wrapped her arms around me.

I paused for a moment, struggling through feelings of guilt, but finally returned the embrace. “Janelle, it’s so good to see you again,” I said, even though in reality it was anything but. While I had some reservations about leading the others into Errol’s trap, Janelle was a genuine friend, my only real friend in the Abbey, perhaps in all the world. 

“You know what this means? You’re going to be a full Knight, every bit as accomplished as any of the nobles! No one deserves it more than you,” she said, beaming up at me. 

I shifted my weight, idling awkwardly in place. “Well, I’m not a full Knight yet. I haven’t had my Daybreak Ceremony, afterall.” Although I had broken some other things last night. 

“Yes, of course.” Janelle said, still practically vibrating with excitement. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Sienna and see if we can get the ceremony expedited.”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary.” I lifted my hands in front of me. Betraying the order was bad enough as an apprentice, I didn’t need to do it as a full fledged Knight. 

Arynn interrupted by loudly clearing her throat. “As touching as this reunion is, can you take it inside? I’ve got a lot of important standing around to do.”

“Yes, of course.” I led Errol through the door. His gaze had drifted up from his study of the dirt, and turned to scrutinizing Janelle, likely evaluating if she would be a problem. I handed Errol’s chains off to Belle, who was waiting inside. 

Belle, like Arynn, boasted three sunbeams on her armor, which made her a Knight of the Third Rank. Her jet black hair fell around her face, highlighting her piercing blue eyes. They seemed to stare through Errol as she took the chain and gave it an experimental yank. True to his part, Errol stumbled forward without saying a word. “Looks like you beat all the fight out of him, Mira. Wish you would have saved some for me,” she said with a sly grin. 

“Be careful with him, Belle. He looks like a drunk old man, but he can be quite dangerous.”

“Here’s hoping,” she said, as she fingered the hilt of her razor whip and led Errol down the hall. It was quick, but he shot me a knowing look as he disappeared down the corridor. 

Janelle and I headed the other way, towards Sienna’s office. “So, do you have any missions coming up, Janelle?” I asked, trying and probably failing to sound casual. “Or even personal travel, maybe?” Perhaps I could just wait for her to be gone. 

“Me, on a mission? Could you imagine?” she asked, laughing. “No, no, no. I’ll leave that to you. I’ll be tending the library for the foreseeable future, thank the Goddess. Why do you ask?” 

“Oh, just curious. I feel like I’ve been away for so long, who knows what I missed.”

She gave me a sly smile. “You know, if you wanted to go somewhere, I’m sure we could get leave. Sienna still owes me for translating that tomb of ancient spells. Maybe we could head up to the coast.”

Typical Janelle, such a thoughtful friend, always looking out for what I wanted. I could feel my confidence wavering. How could I hurt her? “Maybe another time. I feel like I shouldn’t leave so soon after such a long absence.” 

“Yes, of course,” Janelle answered, smile faltering for just a moment as we arrived at the sitting area outside Sienna’s office. 

Averi looked up from her desk and its copious papers as we entered, tucking a loose strand of wheat colored hair behind her ear. “Thank the dawn, you’re back.”

“I’ve missed you too, Averi,” I said, clearly confused. Averi was Sienna’s right hand, a capable spellcaster who was well-connected to the noble families that furnished most of our number. We had never been particularly close. 

“Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself,” she said, pausing for a breath. “Welcome back, and congratulations on accomplishing your first mission, even if it came as a surprise. Can you please do something about your guest? We felt bad turning her away, but she’s taking up a lot of Sienna’s time and it’s putting the clerics behind schedule.” 

“Guest?” I said, my heart skipping a beat. Does she mean who I think she means? 

“Yes, I believe she’s the woman you saved. She said she wanted to express her gratitude,” Averi said, looking through her notes. “She’s in there with Sienna and Sofeigh right now. Come on.” She rose from her seat and opened the door to Sienna’s office. 

Tall, stained glass windows lined the wall of Sienna’s chamber, letting long streaks of light into the stone space. Sienna stood behind the oaken desk, looking stately and dignified as ever, her auburn hair falling perfectly down to her shoulders. In front of her, Sofeigh crouched with her pet lizard, evidently showing some trick to Liana. All three women turned as we entered, although I hardly spared a glance for Sofeigh or even Sienna. No, my gaze went straight to one thing.

Liana’s cool, blue eyes.