When student morale hit an all-time low, the psychology department took desperate measures. They programmed the computers in the main hall of the school library; every evening, one random computer would hypnotize its user. Once hypnotized, the student in question would walk into the unused – but unlocked – Classroom 413, where they would sexually service anyone who needed it. After a few hours, they would return to their computer, forget the experience, and awaken with the assumption that they fell asleep at the desk.

It was a win-win for everybody, really; students had a way to relieve stress, and the subject would get a few extra hours of sleep that they almost certainly needed.

But reader, I hear you asking: “with all the people making use of this service, wouldn't people hear about it and avoid using the computers?”

To which I say, “of course not.” Remember, these were psychology majors. They knew just how intriguing, how enticing, how utterly hot it was to be the one hypnotized. The subject could imagine anything happening in that blank stretch of time. Who had used them? It could be that scantily clad soccer player with the great ass. Or that poet in the corner of the coffee shop they’d been too shy to speak to. Or both, perhaps at the same time. The subject could fantasize about anyone on campus; any momentary glance could be a glance of recognition from that clandestine night.

No, fear not – the computers were more popular than ever.