My first time trying edibles, Carlos let me try his mints. They were watermelon flavor, so they didn’t taste like mint. They honestly tasted kind of weird, but they were easy to dose and decently effective. We sat and talked and watched Uncut Gems. It was nice.

My second time trying edibles, Carlos offered some chocolates that he liked. I liked them better because the weird taste didn’t hang in your mouth as long as the mints did. And they actually tasted like chocolate, albeit kind of weird chocolate. I guess chocolate really is an aphrodisiac, because couldn’t help but feel worked up while we watched The Green Knight. That, or Dev Patel is even hotter than I thought. Or maybe both.

My third time trying edibles, Carlos raved about these jalapeño ranch pretzels. Three tastes I would never consider putting together. Honestly, I’ll bet whoever made them was high when they came up with it. I’m not really one for spicy stuff. But if chocolate gets you a little warm, boy howdy – jalapeño will get you absolutely steaming. Look, I am not immune to Denzel Washington, but we were watching Macbeth, not Malcolm X. Plus, by Act 3, I was... focused on something else.

My fourth time trying edibles was the next morning. Carlos offered some infused coffee, and it was wild; it was like every part of my body was blooming. And it felt… wonderful. Carlos turned on a movie I didn’t know. It was a big spiral with some warbly noises. But it was still really compelling. And I was so damn hot. Carlos sat with me and stroked me while I watched. I think he whispered some stuff in my ears, too, but I was so focused on the movie that I didn’t really hear.

I’ve stopped counting the times now. Something with every meal, it seems like. Sometimes, if I seem too clear-headed, Carlos sticks a gummy in my mouth. I always feel a little empty when he takes his finger out. A little empty and really horny.