Narrator: You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Juniper Gladiolus (She/Her/Your Gladiolus). The cases are real! The florets are cute! The rulings are subject to any further evidence that may come to light at a later date, as any fair courtroom should be! This, is Judge Juni!

Today we have a most difficult problem to solve for our intrepid would-be floret. They can’t decide which of three different Affini they want to be their owner. The trio have brought their little darling to Judge Juni today to help them make the difficult choice!

Judge Juni: Well hello there little one, what’s your name then?

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Lizzy Lutie Lemforth, She/They Your Gladiolus

Judge Juni: Awwww, that is some adorable alliteration you’ve got going there sweetheart. Alright, you’ve been brought to me to help you make a decision regarding which affini to choose as your owner, is that right?

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Yes, there are three that I really like lots and lots! They all are wonderful in their own unique ways and it’s just too hard to choose one of them because then I’d feel sad about the other two who I wouldn’t see as often or get to do things as much with. As soon as I think about picking one I just get really sad thinking about the other two and how they would feel and then I feel awful. I really need help choosing Judge Juni!

Lots and lots of awwwwwing from the affini present, some worried and sympathetic looks from the florets and yet another rendition of “Oh, my core! I can’t stand it!”. Judge Juni elects to ignore the melodramatic affini in question…. this time.

Narrator: Judge Juni has put her head in her hand and started tapping the side of her head, something she is only ever known to do when presented with the most taxing of problems to solve! My goodness. Is she truly up to performing dutiful due diligence on this difficult decision?

Judge Juni: Hmmmmm, a most complicated conundrum indeed, no wonder you came to me for help little flower. Well to start with I’d like to call each Affini up one at a time and you can tell me how you met, exactly what it is you love about each other the most and then we’ll take if from there. Does that work for everyone?

Everyone: Yes your Gladiolus!

Judge Juni: Perfect! Alright. Affini number 1, step up and tell us your name.

Chrophile Supranubius: Chrophile Supranubius, Third Bloom, He/Him Your Gladiolus

Judge Juni: Perfect, and what made you want to take little Lizzy as a floret?

Chrophile Supranubius: Well, I was part of the Terran Integration Team that was helping to assist sophonts on little Lizzy’s planet in adjusting to life in the compact. Signposting, helping them make appointments with various people, that sort of thing.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Yeah, the TITs! Best acronym I’ve ever heard of frankly.

Slight blanching from Judge Juni before recovering her professionalism with a slight cough

Chrophile Supranubius: Chuckles, Yes dear. I seem to recall that after you had asked me for directions to ‘Hab Design with Wood and Pine’ and I told you the name of the team so you could get hold of us again if you needed anything you couldn’t stop giggling for the next ten minutes.

Narrator: Hab Design with Wood and Pine is run by Woodius Goodius and Pinecone Barkyhome. Strange names indeed but their work is unparalleled in the realm of highly detailed wood carved furniture and the most exquisitely detailed buildings this side of the core worlds. If you want some then ask you owner to take you and say please very very nicely and just maybe your dream might come true! <3

Judge Juni: Muttering to herself about emoji’s in the narrator’s speech again.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Not my fault, you lot chose the name so I can’t be held liable! But really it wasn’t that which endeared me to you. It was you deciding to take the time to show me round in case I had another ‘super cute giggle attack’ that made me add you to the list. You were so patient, even with all the weird requests I wanted for my hab.

Chrophile Supranubius: Stained glass windows but in a big gay rainbow way and lots of indoor trees, the latter of which I think any affini would approve of.

Agreeable murmuring among the audience

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: And then, even when that was done you insisted on helping me find which restaurant would be quietest while still being able to cater to my food needs so I didn’t end up with Mr Grumble Tumble having a go at me again for daring to eat anything slightly outside of my strict list.

Chrophile Supranubius: We really should get you to a vet for that tomorrow sweatpea. I’ll book one for you when we’re done here. It’s hardly difficult to see why I wanted to keep helping you when getting those needs met led to more of those adorable giggles escaping you. How could I possibly not? I mean, just listen to this everyone.

Chrophile picks up Lizzy and starts nuzzling her nose and jiggling her about

Chrophile Supranubius: Queefity Leafity not made with beefity wiggle those kneefity make a cute squeefity~

Lizzy decends into unrestrained giggling

Narrator: Nonsense words they may be but the effect is clear. Such adorable giggles you would be hard pressed to find anywhere else!

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: (Still giggling) W-what did that have to do with my needs?

Chrophile Supranubius: Why, I detected with my special detecting vines a need to make you giggle of course. I don’t make the rules…. yet. That’s just how it was petal. Besides, you were adorable! That’s reason enough in and of itself. In fact….

Chrophile again picks up Lizzy and starts nuzzling her nose and jiggling her about while doing a little slow twirl

Chrophile Supranubius: Hoggity loggity hidden in foggity stuck in a boggity home to a froggity!

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: (Through Giggles) Noooooo!! You’re gonna make me bluuusshh

Chrophile Supranubius: I know, and that’s because everyone deserves to see how precious it is my sweet little Lizzy. Also do your shoulders now not feel a little less tense?

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Wait… how did you know that? Every time you somehow know my needs even before I do as well as what to do.

Chrophile Supranubius: Special affini powers of course. Oh please do pick me, I’ll make you giggle like that every day. Making you smile comes as second nature to me and I’ll happily do it for as long as you wish.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Soooooo all the time then?~

Chrophile Supranubius: If that is your desire my sweet little giggly cutie~

About five seconds passes with a lot of hand flapping and desperate little noises from Lizzy before she finally snuggles right into Chrophile’s vines and starts rubbing against them happily

Narrator: Aaaaand with the we’ll be back after these helpful messages for how to order custom plushies!

After the outro tune another little song breaks out while the camera is moved. “Ad-break time! This one’s actually fun, so cuddly little petals can feel good in their tums!”. An affini who is a bit on the smaller side is surrounded by plushies of various shapes and sizes, her vines absolutely full of them.

Helianthus Annuus: Hello everyone! My name is Helianthus Annuus and I run Soft and Squidge where we make plushies to suit your extra cute needs! A plushie that hugs you back? Very doable. One that can send audio messages to your owner of your most adorable noises while you hug it? Eminently achievable! A plushie you can sit inside of with your owner that cuddles them as well?! Utterly understandably useful!

Whatever you want out of your special cuddle friend we will endeavour to make it for you. Just ask your owner to bring you to Soft and Squidge or, if you are a little nervous, then you can find me on the overnet as well and leave an adorable message for me. So, know a little one who needs a special touch on their plushies? Send them into my vines and I’ll have them a snuggly friend in no time!

Camera jerkily moves back to focus on Judge Juni and the motif plays again

Narrator: We return to the courtroom where Lizzy has finally calmed down somewhat.

Judge Juni: Well that was certainly very strong evidence indeed Chrophile. You clearly have a very strong feel for little Lizzy’s needs and make her giggle so very sweetly. I can see why you are such a strong contender in the race for her heart. Alright then, lets hear from affini number 2! Step up here please and state your name.

Verbena Cudleia: Verbena Cudleia, Twenty-Fifth Bloom, She/Fae/It Your Gladiolus.

Judge Juni: And how did you two meet then?

Verbena Cudleia: In a strange little occurrence. She fell off of her roof and landed on top of me.

Judge Juni: She fell off of her roof?! Was she hurt?! Pet, quick! Get the hab safety team on the line, and the vets! And the Psychological analysts so we can find who thought it was a good idea to make a roof a sophont could fall off of and see how they could leave such a glaring error!

Narrator: Stephy Gladiolus, Twelfth Floret, She/Ze: Non-Judgemental Judging Assistant, Plushie Distributor, and phonecall maker extraordinaire, who has learned through expert training and help from her owner how not to cry on the phone anymore, except when appropriate, is on the case! Just look at zer go! Gosh!

Absolute whirlwind of several phones floating round Stephy’s ears as she grabs each of them and somehow holds several conversations at once while furiously writing down all the details.

Verbena Cudleia: She was fine, I caught her, and apparently there was a safety bar on the hab roof but a mistake in the paperwork made by a certain floret who was slightly too high on class As while in the office led to it being too low and she tripped over it while shuffling backwards after watering some of her plants. Naturally this has been rectified now with said florets owner having taken all the necessary precautions to make sure that their little softy doesn’t go to work that high again unless supervised at all times by them. They also apologised profusely and sent through a vinemade plushie to try to make things up.

Judge Juni: Ah another speedy but well thought out solution leading to a happy ending in the compact.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Never would have seen that under the accord that’s for sure. I couldn’t believe how quickly it was sorted. We’d barely sat down in the recovery centre when the message came through on fae’s tablet that the bar had been fixed. After that I was a little overwhelmed for a bit, what with coming that close to being hurt. Verbena was so very gentle with me though. I’m used to having my mind running at five hundred miles a minute but with her something just… clicked. Like all my worries had just drained out of me. I relaxed so much that I fell asleep on faer for a bit, and when I woke up it had taken the day off to take care of me.

Verbena Cudleia: You looked so peaceful, it would have been the biggest crime of all my blooms if I had disturbed you. I thought it best to take you back to a familiar environment and then make sure you got all the gentle attention you clearly needed after such a big scare~

Narrator: Oh this is adorable, little Lizzy has been reduced to a flappy blushy little cutie. Judge Juni better watch out else the courtroom may once again succumb to a cuteness catastrophe!

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: W-W-Well, You sure did that, yup. Ahem

Verbena tucks a little flower behind Lizzy’s ear before giving her just a quick but gentle scritch. Just enough to coax another little squeak but not so much that Lizzy entirely loses her ability to focus.

Verbena Cudleia: You made a such a lovely little dance partner later on as well. Such a quick learner for someone who hadn’t danced before in front of or with anyone.

Judge Juni: What’s this about dancing?

Verbena Cudleia: After little Lizzy had recovered a bit she was still a little shaky in her movements, tentative almost. I’ve spent the past three blooms learning how various sophonts move and dance and teaching others how to imitate them. I’ve found it works therapeutic wonders for someone who needs to feel confident in how their body moves again.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: I-I mean, you swept me off my feet, figuratively and literally. I’ve never been able to move like I can now. You’ve got me dancing around the hab in the morning, even on the roof when I’m watering the plants.

Verbena Cudleia: You were so nervous at first. Jerky, embarrassed and shy until I gave you just a little puff of Class-D to get you to relax. After a little... ‘encouragement’ you were trying to twirl me around at points. Such a beautiful little partner you make, so very easily moldable to the whims of my movements~

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: I would dance every day with you if I could. You are so very good at ‘encouraging’ me Verbena~

Verbena Cudleia: I think you need some ‘encouragement’ right now my darling little sycamore seed. So very precious as you twirl around. Let’s show you off hm?

Verbena gently plucks Lizzy from her seat and starts waltzing around the room, helping Lizzy twirl around with grace and aplomb, affini start cheering and generally being encouraging/a nuisance in the courtroom

Judge Juni: Part of me will have to insist on order….. in a bit. Oh dirt this is beautiful to watch.

Stephy has finished zer phonecalls but is now crying

Judge Juni: Stephy my darling little flower, what’s wrong?

SG: There was a lovely beeple in the office and they said my voice was really buzzy and lovely and they were really sweet and nice to me on the phone and… and… *happy little sobs*

Judge Juni: Oh sweetheart, my precious little petal come here. You did so well making all those calls and I’m so very happy that you had such a lovely time chatting to that beeple. My good, wonderful little Stephy~. Let’s watch the dancing together while we cuddle for a bit hm?

Stephy is lifted out of her chair and cuddled into Judge Juni, making a high pitched quiet noise of emotional overwhelmedness combine with happy squeaks.

Narrator: A joyous and touching end to this part of the show indeed. Oh roots, they’re all so very soft and adorable. We’ll be back after these helpful messages on how to give the best cuddles to a spectrum jelly!

Camera moved to the side again. A bigger than normal jerk happens along with a whispered “Oh Frost, the cable’s stuck again” before it is eventually fully turned to a darkened corner of the courtroom. An affini is cuddling with her spectrum jelly floret and is a little startled by the sudden camera pointed at her.

Epiphytes Bromeliaceae: Oh, we’re live right now? Ok, um. Hello everybody! I am Epiphytes and this is my floret Imago, and today we’d like to make sure that you all learn some of the nicest ways to make this particular type of spectrum jelly wiggle while cuddling together.

Imago is communicating what Epiphytes is saying using her own species main method – a beautiful sequence of lights that gently illuminates the spot around them and their owner.

Epiphytes Bromeliaceae: Firstly, the top right here can be very gently squoodgled with a few vines, tentacles or perhaps a hand or paw in such a manner that it makes a delightful shiver through the body. This causes some of their adorable little tentacles to swing in a delicate and mesmerising way, just like Imago’s are now. Is that nice my beautiful, radiant pet?

Imago lets loose a mixture of blues and reds, easily communicating a sense of ease combined with an enjoyable fluster to even the untrained eye. Epiphytes lets loose some of her own bioluminescence which seems to soothe Imago into intertwining some of their tentacles with hers.

Epiphytes Bromeliaceae: Secondly, as you can all see, the haustoric implant comes close to the surface here and here, giving you a delightful opportunity to stroke closely to it and elicit a full body melt in extreme cases like so.

Epiphytes strokes one of the two spots and Imago loses any ability to support themselves, falling further into Epiphytes’ vines while unleashing a few short bursts of light in an erratic manner before resuming a soft glow with less harshly vibrant colours. Epiphytes gives Imago a moment to recover and communicate what she just said to the viewers

Epiphytes Bromeliaceae: Lastly, but certainly not least, the middle segment here is extremely sensitive. Now this part in particular must be treated very delicately and with the utmost respect. However, when pet in the most loving of manners it will cause your spectrum cutie to emit the most wonderful of illuminations. Are you ready my little squishy delight?

Epiphytes gives Imago a moment to finish her sentence and communicate an affirmative before she ever so gently strokes part of the middle segment. Imago flashes for a moment before fading into a softly pulsing blue colour with her tentacles gently squeezing Epiphytes vines. Utter contentment radiates from the pair of them as Epiphytes speaks softly.

Epiphytes Bromeliaceae: And that my precious sophonts is all we have for today. Remember, all sophonts are unique and this is just a general guide. Others may prefer something much different so always be a polite little cutie and ask what they would like. Take care little ones.

As Epiphytes lavishes attention on the extremely melty Imago the camera whirls around again, this time sans a cursing affini, and centres once again on Judge Juni.

Narrator: Welcome back to the courtroom of Judge Juni! The dancing has ended with a spectacular flourish and water has been distributed to all participants. This is your reminder to make sure you drink your water cuties! Stephy has also been calmed down and reminded that she is a very good pet who deserves yet another gold star for her wonderful efforts on the phone helping to keep all florets everywhere safe from falling over a bar ever again!

Judge Juni: I present to you now, your one hundred and fifty fourth gold star for excellence in non-judgemental judging assistance. Take it with pride in your heart my precious little star.

Stephy is just absolutely smitten and overjoyed at having received such a prestigious honour again. The gold star is stuck on the newly extended end of her little sign, compiled specifically to better display her magnificence. Polite applause and a few whistles break out.

Stephy Gladiolus: Thank you so much Mistress! I’ll treasure it always <3

Considerable awwwing from all affini in the room and some of their pets.

Judge Juni: You’re welcome my little treasure, but tell me, how did you get emoji’s into your speech as well?

Stephy Gladiolus: The narrator called it good little helpful pet privileges

Judge Juni takes time to look up and eyeball where the narrator could conceivably be with a “We will talk later” face. The narrator coughs and hastily moves on

Narrator: *ahem* We have seen two of the tree, I mean three affini vine-ing, sorry vying for the heart of our precious little Lizzy here. Judge Juni just needs to call up the last one before helping her make a decision, if she can of course tear herself away from being a narrator-berater…..!

Deep breath from Judge Juni, eventually tearing herself away from being a narrator-berater but writing down a note to return to the issue later.

Judge Juni: Alright, let’s have the last affini stand up here please. Tell us your name and then all about you and little Lizzy the lucky here.

Dionaea Fescuetea: Dionaea Fescuetea, Second Bloom, Zir/Zem Your Gladiolus. I met little Lizzy at a sophont hunt.

Judge Juni: Sorry, a hunt? How does that work?

Dionaea Fescuetea: Well, the sophonts get a headstart, usually quite a lot of them and hide within a specific area, then the affini go and hunt for them.

Stephy Gladiolus: Hide and seek then?

Dionaea Fescuetea: With one key difference, that being that once you’re found you have to run away and try to escape the affini however you can, within reason of course. Little Lizzy here gave me quite the run around.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: You couldn’t find me for ages and when you did I kept running off and climbing apple trees to hide from you.

Dionaea Fescuetea: It was a very clever trick little one. She’d coated herself in apple scent so I couldn’t smell her like I often do other sophonts.

Judge Juni: You require meat as well, correct? That would explain your sensitivity to scent.

Dionaea Fescuetea: Not just that, I can also produce my own scents in more copious and powerful amounts than most affini. It helps to lure in my prey. So I ended up...

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Being a big cheaty cheaty!

Dionaea Fescuetea: Giggle, there was nothing in the rules against it flower~. I made myself smell like an apple pie. She couldn’t resist coming down from her hiding spot and getting caught.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: As I said, very cheaty. At least you did take me for a big apple pie with extra cream afterwards.

Judge Juni: Well if zir’re so cheaty then why do you want zem for an owner?

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: ….. I never said I didn’t like it…..

Dionaea Fescuetea: You’re rather fond of having it unfair sometimes aren’t you little one.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: ……. meeeeeeaaaanniiiieeeeeeeeee!!!

Dionaea Fescuetea: My dear little cutie, so terribly wronged by the big bad affini meanie~

Is swept up and doted on in a most unfair manner. Dommey rumblings are emanating from a not inconsiderable amount of affini. Several pets and some (currently) independent sophonts are blushing heavily

Judge Juni: Oh roots, that’s extremely cute but I am afraid I must insist on order before you set the whole room off again. Tell us a bit more about your relationship with zir Lizzy.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Well, they also work as a perfumer because zir can smell things so well and make them zirself. And like, have you smelt zem? It’s like walking into a room full of scented candles mixed with a fruit pie and christmas dinner all at once! If zir wasn’t so good at regulating it then it would be overwhelming but somehow it’s always just right. I tried to get my hab to smell half as good and ended up making it stink like a poor quality car air freshener instead. Utterly unfair, again! If I’m gonna be subjected to this then I want that unfairness on my side!

Dionaea Fescuetea: You can’t win against me so you want to join me instead. What’s that saying again? Checkfriend?

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Checkmate. It’s a chess thing.

Judge Juni: What do chests have to do with things? Is this another terran joke about breasts?

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: What, no! Chess, as in the game?

Dionaea Fescuetea: There is a game about chests? Well that does make sense considering how much a lot of your species seem to like them. Many of us choose to form ourselves very well endowed partly for that reason.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: No that’s not.., ach! Never mind. The point is you are utterly unfairly nice, even when you’re mean. You make me feel safe to be playful like that because the outcome will always still be good for me. I’m not used to that, I have to be serious about everything or else eventually it goes wrong somehow, but not with you. I wanna run around the park again with you chasing me and tricking me into running back to you with your crafty cheaty ways.

Dionaea Fescuetea: Grinning. Oh sweet easily let little treat, I would trick you into giving me everything. You would lose constantly and love every second of it.

Extremely flustered noises from Lizzy. Some rather wicked grins and knowing looks are exchanged between affini audience members before rounding on the florets in the audience and just giving them a look or a simple headpat, reducing the room to a lot of mewling.

Judge Juni: Alright everyone! Settle down, order now! We’ve got a case to finish. Keep it in your vines for just a bit longer and then we can make them all little messes to our cores content.

Stephy Gladiolus: M-m-me as well Mistress?

Judge Juni: Especially you. Grins

*Loud meep and hiding blushy face from Stephy Gladiolus

Judge Juni: Ok, we’ve heard all the evidence. Three very lovely affini all vine-ing, oh dirt it, vying for Little Lizzy’s affections and her just unable to choose. It’s such a hard decision after all.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: What do I do Judge Juni? It’s too hard. I just can’t make the decision, I.. I just can’t.

Sad music starts playing on the worlds most sympathetic and most certainly not small violin, because an affini would never belittle a florets troubles, no matter how small and easy they are to solve

Judge Juni: Well, let’s ask your prospective owners shall we? Chrophile Supranubius, what should she do?

Chrophile Supranubius: She should definitely pick me, I’ll make sure she’s always taken care of before she even knows what she needs so I can hear her giggle with happiness every single day. There’s always a place in my vines for her~

Judge Juni: Verbena Cudleia, what say you?

Verbena Cudleia: Oh little one, you should pick me. We can dance to your hearts content and then I’ll show you the most blissful relaxation any sophont could ever wish for~

Judge Juni: Dionaea Fescuetea, your thoughts?

Dionaea Fescuetea: Give yourself to me tiny prey. I’ll let you run, let you struggle and then catch you oh so easily with nothing but most finely crafted scents, gently dragging you back to the most unfairly delicious of baked goods as you squirm and complain about how utterly unfair it is that I can cook so well~

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Gaaah! I can’t decide. You’re all so wonderful in your own ways. I wish….

All 3: Yeesss??

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: I wish… I wish I could just have all three of you. I don’t want to lose what I have with any of you.

All 3: Grinning at each other* Deal!

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: Wait, what?

All 3: Deal! You’re ours now.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: B-but I need to choose. I can’t have three owners at once… can I?

Chrophile Supranubius: I’ve checked the rulebook ahead of time, no rules I could find were against it. Nobody in the Xenoarcheobureaucracy knew any rules against it either.

Verbena Cudleia: More dance partners can often make for a more vibrant time, and more people in the cuddle pile makes for a softer, gentler time does it not?

Dionaea Fescuetea: We can have so much fun chasing her together, and I can show you both how to make her feel utterly unfairly outmatched by all three of us at once.

Lizzy Lutie Lemforth: B-B-B-B-But my name? I can’t take three peoples names at once!

Chrophile Supranubius: Oh sweetheart, we already figured it out.

Verbena Cudleia: And we know you like having three Ls in your name so we kept that too

Dionaea Fescuetea: And just to make sure you know how utterly impossibly unfair we’re going to be, we’ve combined our names to make this:

Chrophile Supranubius: Little

Verbena Cudleia: Lizzy

Dionaea Fescuetea: Lutie

All 3: SupraCudleCuetea

Judge Juni: Clearly highly amused Pet, draw up the domestication contract would you?

Stephy Gladiolus: Already done Mistress!

Narrator: In a stunning turn of events it seems that the penny has finally been dropped firmly for our prospective floret. All three affini want her and all three shall have her!

Little Lizzy Lutie SupraCudleCuetea: YOU’RE TELLING ME I COULD HAVE JUST PICKED ALL THREE OF YOU AT ONCE AND SAVED MYSELF ALL THIS WORRYING!!!!?? AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!????

Judge Juni: Now now, order in the court please

Little Lizzy Lutie SupraCudleCuetea: Sorry Your Gladiolus, I just can’t believe you would all be so meeeeaaaaaaannnnnnnn!

Dionaea Fescuetea: In our defence it was extremely cute, and also my idea.

Little Lizzy Lutie SupraCudleCuetea: Biggest meanie I ever ever ever did see! Hmph…. Wait, did you make your surnames combine into Super Cuddle Cutie?

All 3: Yes!!! Unbelievably pleased with themselves.

Chrophile Supranubius: You are super

Verbena Cudleia: You’re certainly cuddly

Dionaea Fescuetea: And we will make it legally known that you are most definitely a cutie!

Little Lizzy Lutie SupraCudleCuetea: Cackling You are all complete DORKS! And I love all three of you. Thank the stars I don’t have to choose between you all any more.

Flops onto the desk and groans

Narrator: And there you have it folks! The contract has been placed before Lizzy and all she has to do is sign it….. and there we go! Little Lizzy Lutie SupraCudleCuetea is now the floret of all three affini!

Judge Juni: By the power vested in me by this most well organised, if sometimes noisy, of courtrooms I pronounce you Owners and floret. You may now pet the cutie!

The courtroom is filled with cheers, whooping and a few happily sobbing affini and quickly descends into the sounds of cooing affini and squeaking, moaning and generally happy florets.

Narrator: Aaaaaaaand that’s it for today everybody. Another conundrum solved by the talented, amazing and merciful Judge Juni!!

Judge Juni: You and I still need a conversation about those emoji’s you know

Narrator: Oh dirt. :S