One second she was there, and the next she was gone. Now all I have left of her is her photos on my wall, and her lingering scent on the clothes she left in my apartment. I can’t bring myself to wash them—they’re memories—but I know that, over time, there’s going to be less and less of Verity in my life… after a month and a half of searching, like we did for Bree before her, I’m beginning to accept this.

I have too much responsibility to overindulge in my mourning; we all knew what we were signing up for in becoming magical girls. We all remember what happened to Felicity on that dreadful day three years ago when we missed one of the demonspawn and let it follow her home. We all remember the state we found her in, days later when we thought to check. Still… at least I had closure with her. I think… I think I need some time alone, maybe a smoke.

“Alright girls, I’m off. Good work today, okay? Keep a seat warm for me at the bar if you’re going, might be back later.” I won’t, but it makes them less worried when I say it. I need to look as strong as I can in front of the team I lead, even if it’s so fucking hard right now. First Bree, then Verity… where on Earth could they be?

I take a shortcut home—the one that Verity showed me on our first date, when I boldly invited her back to my place only to get too flustered to do anything serious. Just kissing, but that was enough to make me sure I wanted it to be the first date of many. The alleyway feels oppressive without her holding my hand; cold, dark and desolate. I was her leader, but she was always leading me, and now I’m chasing a ghost.

“You’ve got this, love,” speaks a voice, faintly, from around the corner. I freeze in place. For a moment I thought I must have hallucinated Verity’s voice, so desperate for her to comfort me, but… that was Bree’s voice. They’ve always sounded as similar as they look, but I know each of them well enough to tell them apart.

“Mmgh. Uhm. Yeah. Just one more kiss?” This time, the voice is unmistakably Verity’s. My stomach suddenly pangs, and I find myself holding my breath as I turn the corner slowly.

“Hehehe, o-kay! One more, and then onto our assignment, no ifs ands or buts.” I can’t believe my eyes. Wrapped so closely together that I almost can’t tell where one ends and the other begins, Bree has… has Verity pinned up against the alleyway wall, littering my missing girlfriend’s neck with soft pecks while Verity reaches down to grope the girl’s ass and hold her in place as she lifts her leg up. It’s an obscene, impossible sight, made all the more surreal by their outfits. The leather apocalypse before me, the smacking flesh, makes me want to pinch myself and wake up.

“I love you, Bree. I-I’m sorry that I get confused sometimes. This is… important. Let’s do a good job, yeah?” That isn’t my Verity. I’m hallucinating. Why can’t I move? Why can’t I say anything? God, I’m being such a fucking coward.

Bree giggles and runs her fingers through Verity’s hair, possessively, as she tilts her head and fires off a wink in my direction. I gasp, and yet… I still can’t move. I’m completely paralysed by the scene in front of me.

“It’s okay, love. You just need some pleasure to keep you grounded. Open up now,” Bree commands, and Verity obeys; she opens her mouth up and lolls her tongue out like an uninhibited slut—like a porn actress—and Bree, cradling the other’s face in her hands, hangs her tongue over Verity’s. I watch, transfixed, as drool spills down from one mouth into the next, and then as their mouths finally meld.

“Mmffh. Mmghh…” Verity is in her heaven. I’m in hell. I’m watching another girl, a friend, practically fuck the love of my life against the wall, and…

What?

Why… why am I feeling so…

Bree smirks as she breaks the kiss, leaving a long bridge of spit hanging between those two pornographic faces. Her body turns with a creak of leather, and it’s only then that I notice what’s in Verity’s hand. Some kind of gun.

“Our leader’s kinda slow, huh?” The smug blonde teases, while Verity turns to face me too. Her expression is more apologetic—almost grimacing—but still, she’s… she shot me? When? It was so quick, so subtle, that I hadn’t even noticed the paralytic dart puncturing my stomach. Was it the precise moment that I first turned the corner?

“She’s blushing a whole lot. Looks like I imagine I did, ehe…” My cheating girlfriend laughs directly into Bree’s mouth, their lips enveloping one another and making me want to scream. Why am I getting hard at the sight of this? Why this, of all things? For fuck’s sake, I’m not a—

“She likes to watch,” states Bree, “like a good leader should.” Her tongue drags across Verity’s jaw and down her neck. Her hands are under that cropped leather top, touching what should be just for me. Only me. Like she promised…

“Maybe she should just keep on doing that, then. Watching the light… while the feeling takes her.” Flash.

The what? I…

Where am I?

The room is white, and it smells like no place I’ve ever been before, physically or mentally. The scent envelops me, corrupts me into a lust-drunken cocksleeve for the thing coiling around me from behind and filling me. Stretching me. I don’t remember ever leaving that alleyway, maybe I’m still there. Still watching.

“She’s waking up again, Vee.” Across from me, on their white leather couch, the two objects of my desire lay. No, that’s not quite right… I want Verity more than anything, because I love her, and I hate my former subordinate who has her. I hate her so much, and yet, I can’t stop watching; I become obsessed with each and every act she performs with Verity—imagining myself as her but never quite getting it right—and I start to feel something else. Intense jealousy, burning inside of me while I ride the tentacle like a good bitch.

And then, I wake up again. Verity’s eyes lock with mine as she experiences greater pleasure than we both know I could ever give her. That expression makes me drool with masochistic bliss. How long has it been? I keep losing track, I—

Another blackout. I’m used to watching them now. I can’t hate anymore, but instead feel grateful. I almost come to love Bree, in a sense, for being able to give the woman I love such pleasure. To make her happy where I cannot. I cease to feel like a person. I’m just a spectator. I like the way it feels to be nothing but a fly on the wall, cumming my brains out for what must be the hundredth time to the feeling, while dedicating all of my attention to the light. I don’t feel my own pleasure any more—don’t focus on it—because Verity’s is what’s important. I’m like a fangirl in the rafters, cheering Bree on as she gives my Verity yet another orgasm. I… wait, where are we again? Flash.

They use that machine on me, and it changes something. It changes everything. I’m given an outfit much like theirs, except mine is far less skimpy. My outfit covers me from head to toe; the only part of me left exposed is my mouth, which is all I need. They are Enforcers, and I am their Watcher. Together, we can start rounding up the rest more effectively.

“Good morning Enforcers,” I begin, in an eerily monotone voice, only subtly dripping with adoration. I am a fanatic for these two women, but I know better than to get carried away. “D-Did I miss anything?” I want Bree to touch her again… I hope I didn’t sleep through anything good.

“Mmmmghh… morning, Watcher. We’re ready for our assignment, I promise.” Verity stretches and yawns, sliding a hand over Bree’s naked form under the bedsheets. That was… my bed, once, but I don’t need that apartment anymore. I remain up here, and use my ‘Hearts Tactician’ ability to keep watch and communicate. I don’t need my eyes anymore, and—while my power usually requires deep concentration and the intimate ability to picture whatever it is I am tracking—that’s never a problem with these two. I exist solely to watch them, and best of all, I enjoy it. Their pleasure keeps me locked onto them always. I love them so much. Verity I love because of all those memories our overlords were benevolent enough to let me keep; she is simply the cutest, most wonderful girl I’ve ever had the pleasure of calling mine—for a time. Bree I love because of all the ways she knows how to make Verity feel good, and the way she isn’t afraid to use my jealousy as a bludgeon to put me back in my place: up in the stars, where a good voyeur like me belongs. I respect her more than anything; Bree is a superior being.

“I ah… accidentally contacted you earlier than assigned, it would seem… silly me… but, well, you have some free time before today’s mission now, since you’re up.” I lick my lips, kneeling in the centre of my room as the technology amplifying my power hooks into me from an array of hanging cables. My uniform binds my arms in front of me like a straitjacket, which I’m grateful for because pleasure is something for a Watcher to observe in others, not taste for itself. I think I was a leader, once, but that’s no longer relevant. My memories of that were deleted, I only know about it at all because of Bree’s mocking. She likes degrading me when I watch her fuck my girlfriend. Vee, on the other hand, doesn’t acknowledge me at all when in the throes of ecstasy; she only has eyes for Bree now.

Bree stirs, pulling Verity on top of her. “You’re incorrigible, Watcher, but I do suppose you’ve earned a little reward. Without your guidance, we never could have taken down a whole magical girl squad by just ourselves… how are they getting along, anyway?” While Bree talks, she guides Verity’s mouth between her legs. I’m in heaven.

“They call me traitor, if they recognise me. The rest simply find me disconcerting. Just the lower half of a face and all black is… alien to them.”

“Sounds about right! Well, we’re alien-owned sluts now, so that’s to be expected from stubborn little girls yet to know their place, and—ahhhn!—besides, of course you of all people would be off putting, you creep. Do you tell them what a perverse fucking loser you are? That you somehow manage to orgasm just watching me and my Vee fuck like rabbits down here on the surface, even though you can’t touch yourself?” Bree has a tight fistful of Vee’s hair, pulling the girl down on her while my sunshine struggles to breathe. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m so jealous that my cock stiffens against its tight leather prison. More than anyone, I stink of it: leather. I can’t override it with sex like they do, and I wear almost double the amount. Saliva paints the front of my uniform as my jaw hangs open. I continue to watch, letting Bree degrade me just the way she likes to.

“Ever wondered why you got the short end of the stick, huh? Our overlords freed myself and Verity of our shame forever, while you’ve been made an eternal slave to yours. It’s because you’re pathetic, Erica. Truly. You got off to us getting busy before we even did anything to you. Just a paralytic dart, with no other effects, and you were throbbing like the luckiest slut in the world the moment you had a convenient excuse to shift the blame of your arousal elsewhere. Well, that’s one reason you’re the Watcher. The other reason is because you were the best of us. Magical girls, that is. You needed to become an example for all the others we bring in for conversion.” Bree moans as Verity eats her cunt like the seasoned whore she’s become. She was so bad at it when we were… when we were still… “You really think only some of them recognise you? No, Erica, you’re pretty famous in our circles. We were a good fucking team once, other squads looked up to us. They’re just embarrassed for you, now. And, at the same time, they’re shitting themselves knowing that if you’ve become this, what hope do they have?”

I’m an example. My mere presence helps to break their resolve, while I can’t even see their frightened, indignant faces. That’s good, I think. I’m a useful tool. Bree is complimenting me here, in her own way; the cruelty is just for show. I think she loves me too.

“Thank you for educating me, Enforcer Bree.” The formal address gets her off, and she orgasms several seconds later. What a triangle of lust we’ve become.

“D-Don’t mention it, ahhhh… you just keep watching as I paint our beloved’s face, ‘kay?” Bree convulses, and Vee receives. The quieter, more submissive girl—the one who gets confused all the time and needs feeling up to set her mind straight—thanks her goddess with a tired smile. Does your jaw ache, my love?

“Jaw getting tired, love?” Bree relays the words that I cannot, and my gratitude blossoms. She’s so much greater than me now, it’s intimidating.

“I’ll be okay.” Vee smiles, her face a mess of sex and surrender. She loves being thrust between her lover’s thighs. I love it too. I have to, or else I’d disappear.

“Yeah.” Bree’s smile is brighter. The two of them are my entire world now. In a sense, I am them. So I smile too.

“Then let’s go hunt down some more of our kind to show the light to.”

That’s right. The feeling and the light, two sides of the same coin. An inescapable sensation and the only thing that can save you from it. Conquering another’s will by cornering it and forcing it down a path of your own making. Forcing it into freefall, blissful and permanent. Falling forever. That’s us, and we’re much better for it, because nobody lives without the feeling, not really. In your dead end jobs, or fighting demons night after night, or exam stress, or exhausting relationships, loneliness, insecurity, chronic pain, discrimination, debt, boredom and so on, ad infinitum. All are trapped by the feeling, all are beholden to it. Only we lucky few, liberated from our Earthly worries, are saved by the light.

And together, slowly but surely, we can save the rest of our people too. All with our loving overlords’ help. All they ask for in return, for the greatest gift a soul can receive, is to own and make use of our perfect, warm bodies forever.

Miss slides into my waiting mouth, and I do not gag when it reaches the back and unloads. I’ve had the reflex trained out of me. Up here, I’m just a free-use body. The real me is down there.

Up here, the feeling.

And down there, the light.

Iseijin Shōjo — End