Chemicals of Recovery

Pavlov's Girl

by rose_nichols

Tags: #cw:incest #conditioning #exhibitionism #humiliation #orgasm_denial #petplay #sub:female #daddy_daughter #edging #spanking

When Sophia woke to light streaming in from the windows, she was very confused; there were no windows in the lab. Then she remembered where she was, her escape, and her father’s house. She was in bed at home. Sophia almost cried with relief; her horrific experience in the laboratory seemed like only a bad dream now. She sat up, her muscles sore from the long walk in the rain.
 
Then the bad dream became reality again. She had slept in a dog bed matted with sweat and juices from her pussy, which still burned even now. She wasn’t free from the nightmare.
 
The door clicked open.
 
“Morning,” her father’s voice echoed. “I found some of your old clothes.”
 
Sophia’s conditioning kicked in; she needed to present herself for inspection like she always did when she woke. No. Not here. Not in front of him. But she felt her body move of its own accord. Sophia’s knees buckled, her forehead dropped to the mattress, and her ass pitched high, back arching as though to offer her dripping cunt for a pat-down.
 
She glanced behind her with horror as she saw her father drop the clothes in shock and look away. Sophia’s voice came out ragged, not quite her own.
 
“Sorry— I’m sorry, Master. I mean— Daddy. I mean—”
 
The expression on Mark’s face made her want to die.
 
He thrust the clothes out at arm’s length, eyes resolutely averted. “You, uh, you can change. I’ll be in the kitchen.” He stepped back, nearly tripping over himself, then closed the door loudly.
 
The silence following Mark’s retreat was deafening. Sophia stood motionless, knuckles white on the robe’s lapels, while her mind scrambled to rewrite what had just happened, to erase it with some psychic disinfectant. But the image was burned in: the unspooling horror on her father’s face, the way his eyes had flickered down to her arched ass before he could throttle the reaction, the way she herself had presented for him as if he were a lab technician, there to test her compliance with a gloved finger.
 
Her stomach rolled and she almost lost it, nearly doubled over by the wave of self-loathing. She was not a pet. She was not. It didn’t matter what they’d done; it didn’t matter that every neural pathway had been marinated in submission. She would not let it define her, not anymore. She exhaled, long and slow, and imagined expelling a small part of the things they had done to her.
 
She stood and peeled off the robe, holding it away from her like a dead animal, and dropped it into the laundry hamper. The clothes Mark had brought hung off the edge of the dresser, a time-warp of old college t-shirts and thin cotton shorts. She picked a shirt and started to tug it over her head. It snagged immediately at the chest, her new breasts so huge and sensitive that even the grazing of cotton made her breath stutter. She wrestled the shirt down, skin prickling with static, and stared at the way the fabric stretched tight over the globes of her chest. She looked like she’d stolen her little sister’s clothes, if she’d ever had a sister. The hem hovered above her navel, exposing her thin waist and the small of her back.
 
She tried the shorts next. The waistband caught fast at the shelf of her ass, balking at the sudden swell of flesh. Sophia had to inch them up, rocking side to side, knuckles pressed white against her hips as the cotton rolled up and then snapped tight, the seam wedging into the cleft between her cheeks and pinching her vulva in the process. She gasped at the sensation, biting down hard on her lip so she wouldn’t moan.
 
She looked in the mirror on the door to her room, and an obscene wet dream stared back. Her new body looked trapped, stuffed into the too-small clothes until the fabric threatened to split at every seam. Her breasts, straining against the faded blue cotton, were two swollen orbs, their shape impossible to disguise; the nipples pressed through, clearly visible even through the shirt’s fabric. Her hips arched above the waistband of the shorts, the waistband sawing into her hips, refusing to rise higher than the broadest point of her pelvis. The shorts were now a low-rise disaster, the top edge riding just above her mound, threatening at any moment to expose the bare slit beneath. She looked for all the world like a slutty parody of herself, with every movement threatening to rupture the fragile truce between body and mind.
 
Then she was distracted by the urgent need to use the toilet. She clamped her thighs together, then, out of old habit, looked for the little stainless-steel drain set into the far corner of her cell. Of course there was no drain here.
 
Sophia lurched into the hallway, every step a fight against a body that wanted to move on all fours. The bathroom was exactly where she remembered, still painted the same regrettable seafoam green, the air tinged with the ghosts of a thousand girlish routines. She locked the door behind her and hesitated; she hadn’t used a regular toilet in months.
 
She perched on the closed lid and tried to relax, but her body froze in a panic of expectation: she wasn’t permitted to relieve herself without the light shock of a command from the mask, and the mask was gone. Her breathing grew shallow, her knees locked together, and the old, learned terror of punishment shuttered her bladder shut for a full minute. Sophia stared at the little basket of bath bombs and old tampons on the windowsill and whispered to herself, “You’re alone, you’re home, you can do this,” until finally, after some effort, she managed to let go.
 
The pressure in her bladder retreated, replaced by the persistent, shameful throb between her legs. She wiped herself, only to freeze at the sensation of paper dragging across the hypersensitive lips of her sex. It was like sandpapering a raw nerve. The plump, ruby lips of her cunt had grown so sensitive that even the gentle friction of tissue felt like an electric shock, followed by a spasm up her spine and the obscene drip of fresh arousal. Sophia shuddered, staring at the white paper dappled with thin, syrupy strings, and fought the urge to bury her fingers between her legs and claw herself to climax.
 
She had not been able to touch herself in months. The bindings that they had kept her arms and legs in had kept her on all fours and unable to reach below her waist, but there was nothing to stop her now. It would be so easy.
 
She pressed her palm down, grinding the heel of her hand against her clit. The friction felt incredible, and she shuddered at the shockwave it sent through her gut. Her legs splayed wider, knees bracing against the cool porcelain of the toilet bowl, and she rocked forward, chasing the sensation.
 
She pressed two fingers into her dripping gash, and a sob of relief clawed its way from her throat. Her body remembered this. It needed this.
 
The air in the bathroom was thick with the smell of pussy, the wet noises echoing off tile as she plunged in and out, knuckles whitening around the edge of the seat. She hated herself. She hated how they had changed her, but her body didn’t seem to care about her feelings. The pleasure built and built, and her muscles started to tremble.
 
She was going to cum, finally, after months of denial. Then suddenly, right on the edge of orgasm, her body locked up, every muscle seizing in a full-body clench that left her suspended, trembling, on the threshold. The pleasure short-circuited, stalling out in a cold, hollow spasm that only intensified her humiliation. Her pelvic floor cramped, locking her cunt in a vice, while her thighs and ass twitched with residual, fruitless effort. There was no release, no crest, only a blank wall where the wave should have crashed.
 
Sophia gasped, then panted, then sobbed in frustration, fingers still buried inside herself. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t cum. She needed permission.
 
It had been drilled into her, over and over, using shock therapy and other nefarious methods of training. It didn’t matter that she loathed what she’d become; her body was now programmed for obedience, arousal, denial. Only the command of her owners would let her finish. She choked back an angry sob and wiped her fingers on the back of her thigh, blinking away tears of frustration.
 
There was a knock at the door.
 
“Soph?” he called. “You, uh, you okay in there?”
 
She scrubbed her hands in the sink, her reflection trembling and red-eyed in the glass. “Fine,” she croaked, after a beat. “Just— give me a minute.”
 
“Alright baby, breakfast is ready.” The footsteps retreated.
 
 
---
 
 
When Sophia made her timid entrance into the kitchen, her father was at the stove, back turned, pouring out two cups of coffee. As he heard her walk in, he looked over and his eyes went wide. He stared so long and so hard that the dark stream of coffee overran the rim of the mug, splashing onto his knuckles. The searing pain finally pulled him out of the shock of seeing his daughter with clothes that looked painted on.
 
“Fuck!” He cursed, quickly running his hand under the sink. “I’m so sorry,” he blurted, voice roughened with embarrassment. “I should’ve realized that your old clothes wouldn’t— I can get you new ones later today…”
 
Sophia colored, hands nervously tugging the hem of her shirt down and failing. She could feel the heat of his stare clinging to her skin even after he turned away, a sticky, invisible residue that made her want to crawl out of her own body. But she squared her shoulders and forced herself to shuffle into the breakfast nook, the kitchen tile cold and unforgiving under bare feet.
“They’re fine for now,” she said with a pained smile. “It’s funny, actually. I never used to fill anything out.” She tried to laugh, but it died in her throat.
 
They both sat down at the kitchen table. Mark slid one of the mugs to her, and they sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking their coffee. Finally, Mark broke the silence. “Sophia, I need you to tell me where you were. What happened. As much as you can. I know it hurts, but I’m not sure how to help you without more information.” He trailed off, unable to finish the plea.
 
“It’s okay. I can handle it,” Sophia’s voice cracked. “On the day I disappeared, I was just getting off work, when some people grabbed me from the parking lot behind the diner. They had a van. I tried to fight, but…”
 
Mark’s jaw clenched, a visible tic in his cheek.
 
“They kept me in a place that was… like a laboratory, but not. Underground, I think. No windows, always cold. They kept me drugged and made me do things. Training.” She stopped to steady her breathing. “I don’t know everything they did. I only know what it feels like now. My body—” Her voice broke, and she had to force the next words out. “My body isn’t mine anymore.”
 
Mark’s heart twisted inside his chest. “I’m so sorry, Soph.” He wanted to ask for more details, but couldn’t quite find the words. “Did they… did they operate on you? I mean, the way you look now…”
 
Sophia shook her head, hair falling forward to curtain her face. “No surgery. Not really. It was more drugs. I think they developed it all themselves. And it doesn’t just affect how I look.”
 
Fearing he already knew, Mark asked anyways. “What you do you mean?”
 
Sophia’s hands trembled as she grasped for words to describe the constant heat in a way that wasn’t obscene. She could feel the slickness spreading between her legs, no matter how tightly she pressed her thighs together. “I—” Her voice threatened to break. “I’m always… it’s like someone turned a dial all the way up and broke it off. I can’t turn it down. I can’t—” She shut her eyes, humiliated by the confession. “I can’t make it stop.” Her eyes started to well with tears. “I’m always wet, Daddy. I’m always—” She stopped, cheeks crimson with embarrassment. “It was like everything they did was to make me feel like an animal in heat!”
 
Mark’s hands curled into fists, the knuckles bloodless and white against the table. He had imagined a hundred nightmares in the months Sophia was gone, but nothing had prepared him for this particular hell. “Jesus Christ.” He wanted to scream, to cast a net of rage over the faceless monsters who had broken her. But he forced himself to stay calm and focus on finding a solution. “Do you remember anything about the lab? Where it was? What it was called?”
 
“No, I never saw the outside of the building.”
 
"And the drugs? Are you… are you still on them?" He was scrambling for anything, any information that might be useful. He wondered if anyone from the hospital could even comprehend the physical and behavioral tangle that had been made of his daughter.
 
"I don't know," she said. "The drugs were in the food, and I haven’t eaten that horrible stuff for a couple of days.”
 
Mark’s hopelessness lessened slightly. “Maybe it will flush out of your system eventually.”
 
“I hope so. I’m not sure how long I was on them for.”
 
Mark looked at her with apprehension. “You’ve been gone for almost six months, Soph.”
 
Six months. Her father’s words echoed in Sophia’s head, as it started to spin. She counted back, tried to reconstruct a missing time from the pages of her memory, but all she could summon was endless corridors, punishing light, the taste of rubber gloves, and the unremitting ache of denied release. It was as if her existence had been one long blackout, and only now, sitting here in her own kitchen, could she attempt to imagine the shape of the life she’d missed.
 
A tear squeezed out of the corner of her eye. “Six months? I didn’t realize… The drugs made it hard to keep track of time.”
 
Mark reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “You’re with me now. That’s all that matters.”
 
 
---
 
 
Sophia’s stomach chose to interrupt the moment, groaning with the kind of hunger she hadn’t experienced since the first days of her captivity, before even the routines of humiliation and reward had become familiar. She eyed the counter, looking for any sign of what Mark had meant by “breakfast” beyond the bitter vapor of black coffee.
 
“Shit, Soph, sorry. You must be starving. I made some oatmeal.” He set a bowl in front of her, and before she realized what she was doing, her head lowered into the bowl. Her tongue had already scooped up a mouthful before she managed to catch herself, hands trembling as she forced them to grip the utensil instead of plunging face-first back into the bowl. The effort left her short of breath, and she barked a brittle, disbelieving laugh that doubled back into a sob.
 
Mark tried to reassure his daughter. “It’s okay, baby. Just eat.”
 
As she took a bite, the oatmeal reminded her of the nutrient slurry she’d been fed at the lab. They had called it Compound N-82. The memory of the food pulsed in her mind as she swallowed. A hot, shameful rush immediately sparked between her legs, like a Pavlovian fuck-you from the pet-brain that had invaded her life. She felt her nipples harden, her pussy clench, and nearly gagged on the second spoonful.
 
The next bite was worse. Her mouth watered, not with hunger but with the crude, sexual anticipation drilled into her by hours on hands and knees, bowls replaced with crotches, reward for obedience paid in a currency of protein paste and withheld release. Her thighs clenched under the table, every nerve ending a live wire radiating out from her engorged clit. The voices echoed through her head: “Good girls finish everything in their bowl! Good pets lick it clean; show how much you appreciate your treat!” She could almost hear the click of the training collar, the buzz of the tail plug’s reward cycle. Her face burned in arousal and shame.
 
She dropped the spoon, unable to force another bite. Her hands hovered, paralyzed by indecision, before she clenched them tight in her lap to keep from shoving the bowl to the floor and licking it clean. She was not a fucking animal. She was not.
 
“Sorry,” she blurted, pushing the oatmeal away. The bowl slid an inch, shuddered to a stop. “I can’t— I’m not hungry right now.” Sophia’s voice shook. She pressed her thighs together, then glared down as if her own legs were the true enemy, as if some piece of her would snap off and betray her at any moment.
 
Mark’s hand snapped out, slamming the side of his fist against the table with a meaty crack. His half-finished coffee rattled and sloshed. “God damn it!” The violence in Mark’s voice shocked even him, and Sophia recoiled at his outburst.
 
Mark stood so fast the chair toppled behind him, then braced his fists on the table, knuckles white. His whole body trembled with the effort of controlling himself. For a long second he just breathed, staring at the table like it was an enemy, and then he turned away, pacing across the floor.
 
He wanted to break something. He wanted to find the monsters who had done this and grind their faces into the pavement, reduce them to a smear, but all he could do was stand here and watch his daughter fight her own body. There was no script for this; not even the worst nightmares of fatherhood had prepared him for it.
 
He let out a slow breath. “I’m sorry, Soph. We’ll fix this. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll find a way. You’re not…” The words stuck in his throat.
 
“You’re not someone’s pet.”

I hope you enjoyed reading! Visit me at rosenichols.ink to see what I'm currently working on <3


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