Valerie

The first day I slept as a vampire was one of the worst nights of sleep I had gotten in a long time. Since being enthralled, I had been used to sleeping soundly, dreaming horny dreams about my Mistress most nights, envisioning all of the wonderful things She could do to me. She was always in my thoughts.

But that day, even sleeping as Mistress’ little spoon, I only dreamed of drinking Celia’s blood, enjoying it, drinking it all and feeling like I still didn’t have enough even as their corpse laid in my arms. I dreamed of having Lauren all to myself and killing her too, keeping her alive out of love but slowly, gradually draining her over weeks until she, too, died in my arms, and there was nothing I could do, just like what would have happened to Emily if I hadn’t saved her.

I dreamed of never seeing the sun rise again if I wanted to survive, and cried what felt like real tears in my dreams.

This wasn’t what I was supposed to be. But Mistress willed it, and there was no going back now.

I woke up feeling barely rested. I was no longer in Mistress’ arms; She had moved over to an armchair in the corner, reading a fantasy novel. The windows were open behind Her, letting faint moonlight that felt pleasant and refreshing into the bedroom.

According to the clock, it was 9:22 PM — quite a lot later than Mistress usually liked to wake up, right when the sun was going down, about 7 PM in this part of spring. I had needed the sleep, even if it didn’t feel like I had gotten it.

As I began to stir, Mistress looked over at me. Her long, straight, red hair was uncombed, so She probably hadn’t been up for long. Her fanged smile was darkly radiant as always.

“Good evening, sleepyhead,” She said, putting Her book on the table next to the chair and standing. She was still naked, and I was in awe at the beauty of Her tall, slim body as She approached the bed with light steps. I stayed in place and put on my best smile as She scratched the side of my head, still resting on the pillow. My Mistress was always a sight for sore eyes.

“Good mor— uh… good evening, Mistress,” I said. It was dark out, and my circadian rhythms seemed to have already adjusted themselves to make that feel normal to me. Vampiric instincts, I had to assume. That said, it really didn’t feel like it ought to be nighttime. I had been good at waking up with the sunrise since I had been in high school…

The bedsheets still smelled like Gail, I noticed. Even before being turned I always knew when Lauren had been in my bed from the smell, but this was more than that. I felt that I could smell a whole trail from Gail leading out of the room. She was probably at home now, or maybe just getting into work for the evening, and I could likely follow the entire route she had taken since she had been here if I put my mind to it. But I didn’t feel so well-rested, and I was preferring to stay in bed instead.

“You didn’t sleep well, I gather?” Mistress asked, sitting on the edge of the bed by my side. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, bringing a pleasant warmth to my unbeating heart.

“Really badly,” I groaned. “Nightmares.”

“Oh, sweetie,” She said, tenderly gripping my side with Her hand, “I’m very sorry to hear that.” She had such love behind Her deep crimson eyes. I was so happy to be Hers, especially at a time like this.

“So… the whole day came and went, right?” I asked. It had to be true if it was really 9:22 PM, and it was pretty damn dark outside, but it still felt difficult to move. I dragged my body up into a sitting position. It was physically easy, my body feeling so light, but emotionally difficult to accomplish.

“It did,” Mistress said with a smile. “I was going to ask if you’d like to take a walk on the beach with Me.”

Somehow, She always knew what I needed. She really was a Goddess.

A few minutes later, Mistress and I had both gotten ourselves together and dressed, and we were headed downstairs in the stairwell. I had borrowed a hair scrunchie from Mistress and was wearing a black sweater and a pair of jeans, my own clothing which Mistress had brought over here from my place a few days ago, while I had been, well, dead. That was weird to think about. And now the clothes felt wrong on my body; it wasn’t the clothes that were wrong, though, but rather my own body. Even though my shape hadn’t changed, nothing felt as it once did.

Mistress was as lovely as always, though, wearing a black button-front mini dress that showed off Her curves. She always knew how to project style and confidence in a way that felt impossible to me.

Mistress was taking me outside now, She explained, partially to give Lucia time to finally clean up the broken mirror glass and install a new phone on Her night table. She didn’t want me being in that close proximity to one of Her thralls for this extended of a time, apparently. Gail and Sandra were both at the front desk, but Mistress insisted that we go outside with nothing more than a quick wave to both of them. Gail was my thrall, too, She acknowledged, but I couldn’t drink from her until she had recovered from the bite I’d already given her. I’d need to keep my distance while Mistress helped me get my instincts in check. Going out into the open air would help with that too.

The weather was very clear that night, without a single cloud in the sky, though there was a pleasant sea breeze blowing. Mistress’ hand was firmly clasping mine as She led me out onto the sandy beach.

“It’s beautiful out here,” I said, taking in the salty smell of the ocean. The beach was empty by this time of night, long since abandoned by tourists, vacationers, and swimmers. We were the only souls here, though that might not have been an appropriate turn of phrase.

“It is,” Mistress agreed. “Nearly as beautiful as you.” Still holding my hand, She pulled me close, wrapped Her other arm around my back, and dipped my body into a low kiss. It felt wonderful. She was able to make anything feel truly romantic, even if it was a bit silly and cliche.

“I’m very happy to live on the shore,” She continued. “Before I moved in here, you know, I lived in an apartment building in the suburbs of Hartford. In retrospect, it was missing much of what I love about this place.” Mistress didn’t talk about her former living situations much, which She generally had to leave only due to some hunter discovering Her or something like that. It was a sad occasion for her when that happened.

Of course, Lauren and I lived in a suburban apartment ourselves, and it was very comfortable for us. But being out here on the beach of Plum Island tonight was wonderful.

“Sorry to change the subject, Mistress — it’s just that I’m still thinking about what happened with Celia last night. Had a lot of nightmares about them, and about Lauren, too. I want so very desperately to have the same kind of self-control that You do,” I said, awkwardly gripping my Mistress’ hand. I was sure I wasn’t capable of the kind of grace and elegance that She was.

“Hm…” Mistress thought to Herself for a moment. “Maybe it would make sense to get in touch with both of them then, in addition to Caroline? I’m sure Lauren would be overjoyed to hear proof of your survival firsthand.”

“You… uh, think that would be alright, Mistress?” I asked. “I wouldn’t hurt Lauren that way?” I wanted to believe Her very badly, but the risks were so great, as She had previously warned, and I wanted to obey the commands She had already given me as well.

“Well, if you keep it to instant messages, you wouldn’t be able to hypnotize her, sweetie,” She said. “You should do the same with Celia and Caroline. You won’t become overwhelmed by their smells, and you won’t be able to, well… you won’t be able to get to them, you understand.”

My Mistress sat down on the sand, looking up at the stars above Her, and I joined Her, my left arm wrapped around Her right.

“Yes, Mistress,” I said, looking out at the waves, stretching as far out as I could see. My body still barely felt like my own, and I knew on an instinctual level that I would never be able to hold myself back from drinking from Lauren, or even Celia, at least without Mistress’ help, and maybe not even then. I craved to own and control them like I now owned and controlled Gail… I craved their blood. I craved their blood so badly that I couldn’t sit still.

“M-Mistress…” I stammered, shaking and clinging to Her desperately. “Would You go swimming with me? I need to get my mind off of this… for just a moment.” I’d just take all of my clothes off and swim naked in those salty waves… it could be nice, I thought. I was sure the cold water wouldn’t be a problem for me now. It must have been in the low 60s and pretty breezy but I was loving the weather.

She sighed. “I don’t think that would be as pleasant as you think it would be, dear. Not in the ocean, at least. Those waves are running water, you know.”

I realized at once that She was right. As I focused on the waves, I realized that there would be nothing to do if one was flowing right toward me. Even with my vampiric strength, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to resist it. It wasn’t a matter of strength to begin with — it was a matter of willpower, of the fact that it would be so wrong to even try. Why? Why was that so wrong? I had already experienced it a little bit when I had taken a shower last night, but it was so stupid! I should’ve just been able to build up the courage for it! I was immortal now, dammit! Such a silly thing shouldn’t have been able to hold either me or my Mistress back!

“I… I liked swimming in the ocean, Mistress. Lauren and her sister and I go out to the beach every summer…” I said, my head slumping into my lap.

Mistress spent a long time looking out at the ocean before She responded.

“Many things will have to change, I’m afraid,” She said, gripping my hand tightly. “I truly wish it didn’t have to be that way for you.” Her voice was strained, and I could see a tear escaping from Her right eye.

“How did You get used to this, Mistress? I don’t want to forget what it feels like to swim in the ocean… to go out and see the sunrise.” The burns I had received when I had opened the window last night, on the whole left front side of my body, still hurt, even though their effects were barely visible. I wondered how long that would take to heal.

She chuckled sadly. “You know, Caroline asked me something similar. If I ever miss the sun. It’s something you get used to over time. It actually feels rather foreign when I hear of you and Lauren going out in the morning to greet the sun. It’s been My enemy for far longer than it ever gave Me life. I think that if you are given enough time… and you become well-enough accustomed to undeath… then I think you will feel similarly.” She left a soft kiss on my shoulder, handling me with care.

I believed Her implicitly, but how long would that take? Months? Years? Decades? Would I outlive Laurie by the time I was over watching the sun rise with her? Goddess, I would outlive her, wouldn’t I? There would come a time when she was an old lady, and I was still just me. I… I…

I broke down sobbing, head resting against Mistress’ right tit.

“I know… I know You saved me from death, Mistress,” I said. “I know this is the destiny You’ve chosen for me, and I would never try to subvert it… I just… I just… I’m not cut out for this. I was in my element with Gail… just for that one moment. But now it’s all hitting me again… how much everything’s going to change. How even if I reunite with Laurie and drink her blood and make everything work… that I won’t be the same person I was.”

“Are we not always changing, My darling?” Mistress asked. “Why, things have already changed since we met, haven’t they? You and Laurie are both Mine now, for one example. You no longer work that horrible job at the greeting card store. You’ve stopped killing My kind… our kind. I think you’re capable of handling more than you realize.”

“Those were easy changes to make, Mistress,” I said. “They made me happy. They were my destiny. You made me make those changes. I didn’t have to do it alone… and everything was better when they were done.”

“You won’t have to do this alone either, Valerie,” She said, holding my shoulders and turning to face me. “Whenever you need Me, I will be by your side. That’s my responsibility as your begetter… to give you what you need to live a long and happy undeath.”

We sat there in silence for I don’t know how long, while the cool sea breeze washed over us.

“Earlier, Mistress,” I picked back up, “You mentioned how You had moved out here from Hartford… are You going to have to move again after what happened with Nicole or Caroline?” It would just be life changes on top of life changes, everything I knew being torn down before me.

“I considered it, in My panic when I was let out of the cage,” Mistress replied, gripping my body tightly. “I was sure that everything had gone wrong forever, this time. But when I realized that Caroline had ultimately accepted your turning, I decided to continue staying here. I don’t want to lose everything I’ve built here… it’s too valuable to Me. Though I must admit that I keep feeling like I need to look over my shoulder to see if someone’s planning to shoot Me again, every moment I spend out here…”

“Oh Goddess…” I said, feeling guilty for not having considered that She might be feeling that way. “I’d protect You, Mistress. I’d take the bullet myself.” I held Her tight, protecting Her the best way I could in the moment. I could tell She was getting a little skittish.

“...Perhaps we should return inside, darling,” Mistress said, fidgeting around and standing up quickly. She brushed the sand off of Her black dress almost frantically as I stood up myself. I could tell that these thoughts had finally started to get to Her, and wondered if it was my fault for bringing it up. I never, ever wanted to make Her feel that way, and needed to rectify it to the best of my ability.

She was already walking back toward the hotel by the time I was brushing myself off. I really hoped I hadn’t upset Her…

“Please, Mistress… I’m so sorry… I’ll never let anything happen to You…” I crooned, following Her back toward the glass door that glowed with light slightly too bright for my sensitive eyes.

She turned back toward me, tears in Her eyes.

“My Valerie… the hardest part of this for Me is knowing that you would give your life for Me… your undeath, now. So long have I been told that my thralls would do that, that you all loved me so, but I never had to consider what that would actually feel like until you did give your life… in that moment, I preferred to be like My own begetter rather than stand by and let you fulfill that promise.”

She spread Her arms, and I ran directly into Her embrace. She squeezed me as tightly as She ever had, and I could feel my bones straining under the pressure… they were so fragile. It was how a simple wooden stake could manage to pierce a vampire’s heart. But when Mistress began to ease up, so did my bones, and it was like they had never been under any strain at all.

“Just know, my fledgling,” She said, kissing me long and deep, “I would give Myself up for you just as easily.”

“Thank You, Mistress,” I whispered back, and I followed Her back inside, my hand in Hers.

We returned upstairs to Mistress’ suite, the air conditioning making it more pleasantly cool than anywhere else in the building and finally free of glass on the floor, with a replacement desk phone on the night table. She wanted me to get in contact with Caroline, Celia, and Lauren, and She promised to stay by my side throughout the process. I was nervous just picking up my phone, one of many possessions which Mistress had thought to bring here while I had been in the process of turning.

The screen was just a bit too bright, even when I turned it all the way down, so typing was a bit difficult. Mistress had gotten Her own phone modified to remove the backlight, She explained, and we made a mental note of it as just one more thing we’d have to do together to get me acclimated to this new existence.

I decided to message Caroline on Clamor first, if only out of cowardice. I tried to tell myself that it was for Mistress’ sake, but in retrospect, She hadn’t seemed too concerned about the possibility of Caroline coming back. I was doing this for me — to put off stressful conversations with my girlfriend and Hannah’s girlfriend.

<valerie_h> Hi

This is Valerie Hawthorne

valerie_h from the New England Vampire Hunters server

You might remember me as Naomi Rennt’s thrall

<ch> Yes I know who you are

She had responded almost immediately. I was a little surprised to get such a quick response, since it was close to midnight now, but it wasn’t like I didn’t find myself up this late on the regular… even before becoming nocturnal.

<ch> We met

In a garage

Four days ago

Im glad youre alive

<valerie_h> I’m undead

<ch> I suppose

What do you want

<valerie_h> I

My Mistress Naomi wanted me to let you know I survived

She thought you’d want to know

I sat waiting for a response to that for quite a while, though I could see the notification that she was typing. All the while, Mistress played with my hair while I fidgeted around, anxious for a response. I really didn’t want to screw this up, but Mistress was whispering reassurance into my ear.

<ch> Im relieved to hear that. Im dealing with a lot right now after Nicole died. I hate that I had to do that. I hate that it came to that. Im trying to put my life back together and

I want to be angry with you

But youre at least as much of a victim as me

And Naomi

God!!!

I dont know what the fuck to say about her

I just hope shes doing right by you

<valerie_h> She is

<ch> Youd say that anyway though wouldnt you

<valerie_h> I would

But if you need a breakdown

She stopped me from hurting someone

She’s making sure I don’t take any more blood than I need

She means what She says

She doesn’t want to hurt anyone

And She wants to make sure I’m not hurt

She’s having me drink from people who are already enthralled

And keeping me away from my girlfriend to keep her safe

<ch> Those are all good things I think

Within a certain definition of good

Ive been doing some reading

Never looked at Nicoles resources enough

I always had such a one dimensional view of vampires

And Nicole and I only ever looked at hunting resources

She was so paranoid

Never trusted anyone else

She used to look at a few research blogs but didnt trust them

Im tired of killing vampires

Caused nothing but pain and suffering in the end

For everyone involved

So Ive been trying to get a more holistic view

Checked out blogs of Bobby Ivers, Dr. Luma, Natasha Singh

People who don’t just have an

Extinctionist mindset

I dont want to think like that

Its what made Nicole so dangerous

In more ways than one

Id rather find some way to coexist

Without wearing a garlic necklace everywhere I go

I thought for several minutes about how to respond before I started typing.

<valerie_h> Thank you

I’ll be real

I haven’t been doing great myself

Just

Being a vampire is really hard

And it’s never how I expected my life to go

My undeath

Whatever

I’d like to be able to coexist too

I think the same goes for my Mistress

<ch> Yeah

Sure

Look

Im not gonna say never message me again because thats never been good for anyone

But I need to get some rest

Im glad you survived

Seriously

<valerie_h> Good night, Caroline.

After I finished typing, I turned off my phone and put it down, returning to the comfort of darkness. I realized that I hadn’t been breathing at all for the last several minutes, and with my phone no longer in my hand, I probably looked very strange and still, not blinking, not breathing, not moving at all as Mistress held me. I had seen Her get this way before when She was panicking or under a lot of stress. That was pretty rare, but I recognized the same thing in myself now… breathing wasn’t necessary for me any more, so hyperventilating was off the table.

“Are you alright, darling?” She asked.

“I’m… I’m glad she doesn’t want to hurt You, Mistress,” I said. She had been looking over my shoulder for the entire time I had been messaging Caroline, providing me with some much-needed confidence. “It’s just, talking to her reminds me I’m not human any more. I can tell she’s scared of me. I don’t want her to be scared of me. If I was in the same room as her…”

I thought about what I might do if I were in the same room as her, and I remembered why she was scared of me to begin with. I didn’t want people like her to be scared. Being enthralled was so wonderful… and drinking people’s blood and enthralling them was just as good, I was finding. Even though she had been complicit in imprisoning my Mistress, Caroline was very attractive, and if I saw her again, her blood would be just as irresistible as Celia and Gail’s blood was to me. I would prove to her that submitting to a vampire didn’t have to be a scary thing. Or, if Mistress commanded it, She would be the one to prove that to her.

Still, that was presuming we could get her into a room with us to begin with, and that Mistress would approve of such a thing. Just like with Emily, it seemed like Mistress wasn’t interested in making Caroline Hers. Maybe I’d share Her wisdom someday… right now, I was pretty confident that enthralling someone was the biggest gift you could give them, and Emily and Caroline could understand that too, with my help.

Oh… and I realized that I should let Emily know that both Mistress and I were OK as well. OK in a certain sense of the word, anyway… she’d want to know, and I still cared for her. Maybe my turning would be what was finally needed to convince her that enthrallment really could be a good thing. It was so intimidating, though… would she hate me for what I had become?

“Of course, my fledgling,” Mistress said, scratching my arm with Her fingernails. “Fear is a useful tool to have when you’re faced with someone like Caroline, but I think that love is much more useful. My attempts at intimidation while I was in that garage did little for Me… in the end, I needed to appeal to My captors’ better natures… the part of them that wanted to help Me, even to submit to Me.”

I smiled. “It’s so good that if someone ever threatened my li—my undeath, I mean, that I wouldn’t even have to hurt them in self-defense… I could just make them love me instead.” I giggled, feeling reassured and relieved. Hunting vampires had been so fucking bad for me and I was so glad that I wouldn’t have to hurt anyone even if the tables were turned on me now.

“You could,” Mistress assured. “If either of us saw Caroline again, we could have her kneeling at our feet.”

“I’d love that so much, Mistress,” I said. My mouth was watering at the thought of it.

She straightened Herself out, looking a little guilty, sheepish, even.

“Of course, that’s just fantasy. I do not think it would be a good idea for either of us,” She said with a tinge of sadness. It made me sad too, to have that confirmed, but Her word had to be obeyed.

“Yes, Mistress,” I responded, trying to focus on Her rather than my predatory thoughts toward Caroline. It crossed my mind that I was going to need blood from someone tonight, one way or another, but I tried to suppress those thoughts, those needs, for the time being.

I decided to change the subject and move on. I really needed to.

“So do You have Celia’s phone number or something, Mistress?” I asked. “I’d like to get in touch with them next.”

“I’m afraid not,” She said. “Why don’t we pay a visit to Hannah’s room?”

Mistress informed me that though Celia had ended up staying here with Hannah the previous night, they had left in the morning, close to twelve hours ago. The two of them had apparently spent a long day together, gone to a movie and to Celia’s apartment and everything, but now that it was late at night, Hannah was back in her room on her own. It was kind of surreal just how much had happened while I was asleep.

Mistress was holding my hand as She knocked on Hannah’s door with Her other hand. As long as my hand was in Hers, She said, She would grant me the resolve I needed to not immediately lunge at Hannah. I would… I would try and internalize that. Mistress’ loving smile helped.

I could hear the sound of Hannah scampering within her room as she responded to the knock, and she soon opened the door with a big grin on her face. And… and her scent was strong now, close. I had already smelled her the previous night when she had gotten in between me and my prey—uhh, I was careful to try and address that train of thought—rather, when she had seen me nearly hurting Celia, her girlfriend who I was maybe going to kill if I was allowed to have my way. Jesus—Lilith?—I needed to put myself together. But Hannah smelled so delicious and I needed my fangs in her this second.

“Good evening, Mistress!” she said. “Good evening, Valerie! I’m, uh, glad to see you better put together than yesterday…”

I nodded. “Mistress has been taking really good care of me, heh…” My eyes were darting between Mistress and Hannah, barely holding myself together once again. I wanted to pounce on Hannah right then, but then again, she was standing behind the door to her own suite, so that wasn’t something I could just do. Just like the waves flowing out of the ocean, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to cross the threshold… this was a more powerful force psychologically than even Mistress’ will and Her reassurances that She would hold me back. If I wanted to go inside, I’d need Hannah’s permission.

“What is it you need?” Hannah asked. Mistress was stepping across the threshold now, long-invited into Her brown-haired thrall’s suite, wrapping Her other arm around her and kissing her on the lips, and I found myself compelled to let go of Mistress’ hand as my own hand would otherwise cross into someplace I had no right being in.

“Oh, my darling, what’s wrong?” Mistress asked, turning to look back at me. I must’ve had a weird look on my face, way out of my element and so bewildered by this invitation stuff. I mean, Hannah had opened the door for me, it should’ve been fine to go inside, right? But I needed to hear it from her explicitly before I could really be confident in that. It was bothering me like nothing ever bothered me to imagine stepping inside. I just wouldn’t—couldn’t.

“Um… can I come in?” I asked. I was probably just standing completely still, like a statue or a corpse, so strange and confused. There were so many foreign impulses to get myself acclimated to.

Mistress began giggling to Herself as Hannah became flustered and said “Oh Goddess, yeah, of course!” Everything instantly seemed normal again, my discomfort washed away as I stepped through the doorway, taking my Mistress’ hand in mine again.

“Oh, Hannah,” I said, lunging at her and grabbing her shoulders. Delicious-smelling blood, sweet, even feminine, ran to her face as her eyes went wide with awe and maybe a little bit of fear. I was startling her, and her heart was beating faster for it. She was already beginning to fall under my spell. It was so easy, unsettlingly easy.

“You smell so—” I tried to continue, but Mistress gently yet forcefully pushed the two of us apart with one arm each, giving me a stern look with Her crimson eyes.

“Valerie, we were here to ask Hannah for Celia’s telephone number. Let’s not get carried away, shall we? Perhaps we can each get a drink from My Hannah later.” Her emphasis on Her ownership of Hannah instinctually resonated with me — I realized that She was feeling territorial, or at least drawing upon instinctual territoriality to keep me from Hannah now. Hannah was already owned. I couldn’t just make her mine without my Mistress’ permission — her Mistress’ permission.

“Yes, Mistress,” I said, knowing deep inside myself that this was a subject I needed to be wary of. You didn’t mess with other vampires’ thralls without permission, even if they didn’t belong to your Mistress. It had the potential for seriously disastrous results.

That didn’t stop Hannah from smelling amazing, though.

“S-so, uh… you need Celia’s phone number?” Hannah asked me, pulling herself together. “I’m, um, sure You have a good reason for doing this, Mistress, it’s just… you think it’s a good idea for Valerie to talk to them so soon after what happened? I promised them I’d advocate for them, I…”

“She’s going to apologize, sweetie,” She said, scratching the chin of one of Her favorite thralls, and I had a feeling there was a part of Her that wanted to show off to me, to show me how much Hannah was Hers. Hannah’s adorable queer vibes and willfully submissive nature were both so desirable to me now. When I had been a mere human thrall I envied her and looked up to her for those traits, but now, they just made me hungry.

“Oh, uh… that’s good…” Hannah said, dazed by Mistress’ affection. “I’ll… send you… their Clamor account…” Her eyes were rolling back into her head, brought under Mistress’ spell immediately. It was so adorable to see. She hadn’t been conditioned in quite the way Gail was — she was just primed to act like this, all on her own. Unlike most of us, Mistress had never needed to rip her will away.

Mistress soon collected me and we returned to Her suite, leaving me with a lot to think about… and a good deal of unresolved hunger. I’d have to wait, though. A meal would come only when Mistress decided to let me have one.

For now, it was time to curl back into Mistress’ arms, and give what I owed to Celia.

<valerie_h> Hi

This is Celia?

It’s Valerie

The vampire

From last night.

The chubbier one with blonde hair, I mean.

<dangerous_theydy> i know who you are, valerie.

hannah told me all about you.

Uh oh. They had responded faster than I anticipated. I had pretty much expected to not have to follow up on this until the morning…

<valerie_h> Uh, yeah, sorry.

I just wanted to message you to say I’m sorry

For uh

Hypnotizing you and stuff.

I might have hurt you

If my Mistress hadn’t stopped me.

<dangerous_theydy> right, you do the mistress stuff too.

look i’ve been trying to wrap my head around this shit

but i don’t need your apologies

hannah pretty much explained it to me

you were like

overcome by your instincts

i’ll live

I didn’t think they owed me acceptance of my apology, but there were few things that aggravated me more than someone not accepting my apology. I just… I just wanted things to be OK, and for them to know that I really didn’t want to hurt them — that I would take steps not to hurt them if we were to meet again. Shit, we probably would meet again. I had to imagine that Mistress would end up enthralling them eventually. Or maybe I would, if Mistress would let me, once I had the capability to treat them nicely. But I didn’t think that saying so would be a good way to get Celia on my side right then.

<valerie_h> I’m glad you’re doing well enough.

Stay safe, OK?

I’m glad you have Hannah to lean on.

<dangerous_theydy> me too.

be careful and

try to think about how people you’re lusting after would feel about it afterwards ok?

all i’m asking for.

<valerie_h> OK.

Good night, Celia.

<dangerous_theydy> good night valerie.

I thought about what they said, what people would think after an encounter with a vampire like Celia’s. Back before I had been enthralled, I had imagined that it would be a bad thing afterward, something that would leave one terrified, violated, even. I hadn’t been completely wrong… the experience of being defeated and taken by Mistress was slightly terrifying and violating, but the end result had made it all worth it. She had fixed me and given me everything I ever wanted: purpose, affection… now even my very existence was thanks to Her. She had even played matchmaker for Laurie and I. And as She was looking over my shoulder now, I worried She would misunderstand.

“I know enthrallment is a gift, Mistress,” I said. “I hope Celia understands that too, eventually.”

“Me too,” She said hungrily. “I’m going to go to dinner with them and Hannah soon, you know. They told Hannah they were interested. I’ll be sure to give them a very good time.”

Even as She was my Mistress, there was a part of me that almost flared up in anger at that, a primal possessiveness. The part of me that wanted to say “I saw them first”, that would drive me to try and kill anyone or anything, human or otherwise, that tried to take them away from me. But She was my Mistress. If She wanted Celia, She would have them, and I was sure She’d feel just the same way. It hardly mattered anyway. All that was mine was Hers, so if Celia was mine, they’d be Hers too.

“I’m happy to hear it,” I said, trying to avoid gritting my fangs. I wanted, needed to be happy for Her. I had no right to question Her dominion over all those She desired.

But She knew me so well, and brushed Her fingers through my hair in the gentle and nurturing way that She loved to.

“Hm hm, getting a bit jealous, My fledgling?” She asked in a teasing tone. “You may say that you laid eyes on them first, but this is My home, you know. And they’re the partner of My thrall. That said… I do not intend to keep them from you. I think they very well may end up being yours. But remember that if that is the case, like all things, it’s only with My permission.”

“Yes, Mistress,” I said, knowing how right She was. “I should probably talk to Laurie now.”

“Good girl,” She said. “So responsible and productive tonight!”

This one made me the most nervous of all, just because it made me the most excited. I was acutely aware of how much I desired Lauren, and what Mistress had warned of. I wanted to keep loving her as I had , but I needed to own her too. And I wanted her to understand that I was still me, because I thought I was, more or less. I was still the same girl she had fallen in love with, even if things were going to have to change a little. Things had changed for us before, like Mistress said, when we finished college together and later when we had both become Her thralls. Another change didn’t have to be the end of the world. I gulped and steeled myself for what was to come.

<valerie_h> Hey honey!

I’m alive

Sort of

Undead

<LovelyLaurie> valerie!

hi!

oh my Goddess ive been waiting every moment with bated breath for you to message!

dont worry though Mistress let me know you’re alive

undead fuck

thats so weird to say sorry!

how are you doing?

<valerie_h> Um

Heh

Pretty OK all things considered

I guess

Everything feels pretty weird

<LovelyLaurie> i bet!

so like

do you crave human blood now?

<valerie_h> YES

Yours

I felt embarrassed for typing that out so quickly, but Mistress only patted me on the head and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

<LovelyLaurie> oh wow 😳

i guess you would huh

uh is that gonna be safe though?

<valerie_h> Well

Not right now

I couldn’t handle myself

Like seriously

Mistress says so

She says we can’t see each other until I’m able to control my bloodlust

It’s hard

I almost hurt Hannah’s gf Celia last night

Mistress stopped me and they’re OK more or less

But I also got to drink from Gail and she was SO GOOD

Been daydreaming about what you’ll taste like every moment since I was turned <333

<LovelyLaurie> i mean

thats good and all

and pretty hot

but like

even if you did bite me safely

and didnt drink too much

well i mean

im worried it would mess up our relationship

<valerie_h> How so

<LovelyLaurie> i mean rn were like

girlfriends

with an equal relationship

like Mistress is our girlfriend too but Shes our Mistress

if you drank my blood wouldnt i be your thrall

i dunno if i feel comfortable with that

unless like

Mistress ordered you to enthrall me or something

<valerie_h> No, she didn’t.

<LovelyLaurie> ok yeah then idk if you should bite me

even though it sounds really hot

She was right. This was exactly what I had dreamed about yesterday, becoming so consumed by bloodlust that I’d make Lauren my thrall and drink her dry. But even though it scared me so much and would be a change I couldn’t undo, my instincts were making me want it so bad.

Mistress must’ve seen the stress on my face again, because she gave me another kiss on the cheek, and said, “this will always be your decision, Valerie. I’m not going to order you to enthrall your girlfriend, not if that’s not what you want.”

I smiled and kissed Her on the lips. I had such a kind Mistress.

<valerie_h> I understand

Mistress wants me to make this decision.

So you and I will handle this together, OK?

I won’t let anything get in the way of our love

I promise

<LovelyLaurie> thanks honey

looking forward to seeing you

whenever youre able

<valerie_h> Me too! me too me too me too

I love you lots

Have a good night, OK?

<LovelyLaurie> OK!

i love you too

and tell Mistress i love Her too ok?

good night to both of you!

“She loves You, Mistress,” I said.

“I’m very aware,” She responded, stroking her fingers through my hair sweetly. “I’m glad you were able to get in contact with her.”

“Me too, Mistress. I want to see her again so badly.”

“In time, sweetie, in time.”

Mistress and I decided to hold off on me contacting Emily until a later time. I had done enough for the night to be proud of, She said, and that made me feel warm, or maybe pleasantly cool was more like it, given that I was enjoying the 60 degrees Fahrenheit that Mistress kept Her thermostat set to, which felt better even than the room temperature air out in the hallway.

And so we returned to Hannah’s suite. I needed a meal tonight, after all — Mistress and I both did.

When Hannah opened the door, I no longer felt as anxious as I did earlier in the night. I was invited now, a welcome guest, and I could come and go as I pleased. And my host looked happy to see me, too, as she ushered us inside.

“You um, both want to drink from me?” Hannah said, her face going red again with her sweet-smelling blood.

“We do, my dear,” Mistress confirmed, wrapping an arm around Hannah’s back and leaning down to kiss her. Goddess, She really knew how to treat a girl right.

“Yes, Mistress,” Hannah said in that quiet submissive tone of hers. Hearing it was making me even hungrier than I already was.

And Mistress was looking at me expectantly.

“Well, Valerie,” She said. “Lead the way.”

“Uh, yes, Mistress,” I said. “What should I do?”

She smirked, and giggled a little, while Hannah stood there watching with submissive glee, eager to be acted upon.

“Well, you did well yesterday, but I suppose I did insist upon you relying on instinct and example alone, didn’t I?” Mistress asked. “Perhaps I should be a bit more in-depth tonight.”

“Thank you, Mistress,” I said. I had been looking forward to this — proper instruction on how Mistress worked Her magic so well, if I would be permitted to know.

“Of course, My darling,” She said. “It takes time and practice to be as seductive as Me.” She put a single pale finger under my chin, and I moaned.

“So what I’d like you to do, Valerie,” She continued, looking me straight in the eyes, not lulling me into trance, not any more, “is speak to Hannah, and when you do, I want you to pay attention to the way you’re speaking. The… hm, the whispery quality that your voice might have. A certain wavering. It’s instinctual, difficult to describe, hm.

“I fear I’m not speaking very clearly Myself.” She was looking down now, trying to find the right words, it seemed. Then she swiveled toward Hannah, looking directly at her. “Like this.”

I could only barely detect the difference in Mistress’ words. There was some kind of lilting quality to it that was always sort of there in Her beautiful voice, something that was kind of hard to notice. Probably harder when I had been susceptible to it as a human, but still hard now.

Whatever it was, it was having an effect on Hannah, though I’m sure she’d have been whimpering anyway if Mistress looked at her and said anything. Still, there was a certain dazed look on Hannah’s face that I recognized well by now, the sort of look humans got on their faces when they were being hypnotized, a blank and sort of placid relaxation that would make her easy prey.

“Awake and alert, Hannah,” Mistress said, invoking one of her triggers. Hannah instantly snapped back to awareness, sighing to herself in satisfaction. It was a delicate art that our Mistress practiced.

“Now then, Valerie, you try it,” She said. “Use your beautiful voice.”

I said, “yes, Mistress,” but I wasn’t feeling very confident. It was so much easier to feel confident in myself, to satisfy my predatory instincts, when I was acting on raw bloodlust, compared to when I actually had someone in front of me who I was supposed to be drinking from. I probably needed to change that, if I really wanted to have the influence I wanted to have over Hannah. I knew she would make an excellent meal.

So I mustered up all the courage I could, and I said “kneel for me, Hannah.” In trying to emulate my Mistress, I felt that I was doing more than just speaking a certain way; it was the whole way I was emoting, body language and all. People said that body language made up the majority of communication, and maybe that was right. There was a way in which I thought to wave my finger, to pose myself, as I took on that slightly whispery tone of voice that seemed to amplify the effect this was already predictably having on Hannah.

Hannah knelt down on the carpet beneath her and lowered her head, looking toward the floor. It was very adorable of her. I realized that humans couldn’t even look me directly in the eyes, much as I historically couldn’t look into my Mistress’ eyes without losing myself. That was kind of hot… it engendered a kind of instinctual deference that was pretty much unavoidable.

“Yes, ma’am,” she squeaked. But like Gail, I wanted her to address me properly.

I lifted her chin up to look at me, though she still averted her gaze from mine.

“‘Yes, Goddess.’ Say it,” I ordered.

“Yes, Goddess!” she said with a small smile, easing herself into submission so eagerly.

“Good girl,” I said, scratching her on the top of her head, feeling her straight brown hair between my fingertips. I saw her shudder in ecstasy as I did.

“You’re a good girl yourself,” Mistress whispered into my ear. “It was a good second outing. I’m sure your next will be even more impressive. We’ll have to see about getting you set up with someone less, mm, brainwashed.”

Hannah let out a long moan, doing her best to nod her head in response to hearing that last word about herself.

“Hannah and Gail, they’re both very easy prey, you know,” She resumed whispering. “And I love that for them. But it would be very cute if we could find someone cute for you to drink from, mm, maybe someone staying here at My hotel? On a later night, of course.”

“Yes, Mistress,” I said. The thought of enthralling someone I had never smelled or seen before was actually pretty extremely intimidating to me. Would that really be a good thing to do? It was OK when Mistress did it, of course, but like I always said, She was my Mistress. She could do anything She liked whatsoever, and it would be moral and correct. But if I did it, wouldn’t that just be compromising someone’s free will? Did I have any right to do that?

But those worries were quickly silenced again by my own assurance that doing Mistress’ will would also be right, no matter what.

And I had something more pressing to focus on, anyway. More precious, even.

“Hannah, stop averting your gaze and look into the eyes of your Goddess,” I said, jerking her chin closer. It was really hot to be in control. I had nothing to worry about, thanks to Mistress’ approval. Besides, Hannah was willing, and she loved to submit, and that was the best part.

Hannah’s eyes went blank, she lost herself, and I felt assured. Mistress and I would be having a delicious meal tonight, and I felt more confident than ever that things would turn out OK for everyone involved. My Mistress could do no wrong, after all.