23 Carriage Lane in Amesbury. It took me a moment to realize what that meant, but not too long.

Most importantly, she had gone someplace that I’d never be invited into. That much was clear as night based on the one time I’d texted with Emily since being turned. I’d have to try to coax her out instead. Mistress and I were already on the way, Her at the wheel once again. I had brought along a secret weapon that I was sure would get my Laurie outside. She was so close now. I would have her soon, despite everything, and I would taste her warm yummy AB positive blood — an uncommon delicacy, Mistress told me — and I’d have her back and kiss her and love her and she’d be my thrall, mine (even if she was Mistress’ too). We’d celebrate Mistress’ birthday together and she’d obey me and hug me and offer herself up to me.

It was obvious by now that Mistress believed I should have Lauren. Mistress and I had been texting Lauren and Celia side-by-side on Her couch, and She was quite clearly fed up with both situations. She had gotten pretty agitated and started growling and eventually threw a throw pillow across the room when Celia wouldn’t play ball. She knew it was unhealthy, She told me — Celia was just one girl, and while girls were irreplaceable individually, there’d be others. But still, She didn’t like to compromise. She calmed Herself and took solace in the fact that we’d both have our prey soon. I didn’t hear Mistress call anyone Her “prey” very often… She was really worked up about this whole thing.

It struck me, though, that She didn’t seem half as confident as usual. I guessed She was still really shaken after the kidnapping. I couldn’t say I’d be doing any better if I was kept in a box for 5 days straight, but there was more to it than that as well. She had seemed to pull Herself together on the night She went out with Celia, but She had come home maybe even more forlorn. I had thought She was happy at first, sure, but I realized after a little bit of time with Her that She was probably playing the whole thing off and painting me to distract Herself, drowning Herself in memories of Olivia. Maybe that’s what She needed to ground Herself, and the painting meant so much to me anyway. I was glad She could rediscover Her passions with me, even if it was for a difficult reason.

And now, as the car pulled into Emily’s lot, Mistress had been silent for the last 15 minutes, focusing on the road, maybe, or maybe on other subjects entirely. I was really worried about Her… helping Her feel centered again was just another reason to have Lauren for myself, and another reason to make sure that She got to have Celia.

She wouldn’t admit any of it, though. I felt like I could read my Mistress, and She was impressively emotionally honest in the right situation, but I knew that Her current struggles ran deep, at least back to when She took Lauren and I and probably quite a lot earlier. Whatever was at the core of it all, I needed to get to the bottom of it and help Her back out of that hole, one way or another.

I got out of the car and took my secret weapon with me toward Emily’s apartment, while Mistress lingered in the car for a few moments, distracted, before joining me.

It was 12:30 AM, and nobody was around but us. It felt strange to consider that convenient, but it most definitely felt that way.

I suddenly felt apprehensive as I approached Emily’s door. She had slept over at Lauren and my place the night I rescued her from her Goddess, and I took her back here the next day, staying over at her request. I had visited so many times after that too, checking up on her, helping her buy groceries and feel safe going out on her own again. It was the biggest thing I accomplished by being a vampire hunter, easily; the only time I actually felt like I was doing something productive.

But Emily had told me not to come here when we had texted a few weeks ago. I had agreed to that, but I was here anyway. It made me feel kind of queasy… did I really want Lauren’s blood so badly that I was at risk of becoming the exact thing that Emily lived in fear of?

The truth was, I really, really did… And the queasiness wasn’t even close to enough to overcome that hunger. I cared for Emily, but I couldn’t handle the thought of being away from Lauren for a single night longer. Emily wasn’t going to change her mind any time soon, but the nights I had left to spend with Lauren were very limited.

Still, in thinking about all of that, I had frozen up.

“Would you care to do the honors, dear? Or is something wrong?” Mistress asked, placing Her hand on my back. She was wearing a black tank top, black ballet flats, and a lacy white skirt tonight, which was blowing in the wind. I myself was keeping it basic with my favorite gray hoodie and jeans, hair tied up in a ponytail. I was feeling way too feral about Lauren’s blood to bother getting a nice outfit together, but Mistress had had my clothes washed a couple of days ago.

“Just, uh, jitters, I guess,” I said, letting a shiver run down my spine. “I feel like I can barely stand. It’s like when we went back to my place a couple of days ago but jacked up to a million. Plus, Emily… I don’t even want to think about it.”

“I’ll be right by your side,” Mistress reassured me. I saw Her tap Her foot briefly, though, a look of anxiety on Her face, and realized that She was probably more antsy to get this over with Herself than She was expressing outwardly. She was frustrated with Lauren’s departure for Herself, too — She had told me so when Lauren’s messages had cut off a few hours ago, probably due to Emily’s meddling. She had just been about to tell Lauren that She was coming to see her and that She expected her to come back to the hotel if it wasn’t for that. Now She had changed Her mind and it was up to me again, but I knew She still wanted the whole affair to end.

So in the interest of not frustrating Mistress any further, I marched up to the door and gave it a good, firm knock — but not too hard that I’d damage the door.

Oh, Goddess, and before there was any response, I could already smell Lauren from the other side. Beyond her personal scent, already known so well to me from all the nights we’d shared my bed together, there really was something distinctive about her blood. It was slightly tangy in just the way Mistress had described, the scent of AB positive. And there was another scent mixed in there too, more similar to one I’d smelled on a lot of people at the hotel, including Mistress’ thrall Sandra — what I was now beginning to recognize as A positive. That would’ve been Emily. They were both here, not that that was a surprise.

And Emily’s scent was getting closer now, wafting right under the door… I could hear her footsteps too, just barely.

“Get the hell away from here!” she shouted, in the sternest voice I’d ever heard from her. Or maybe it just sounded different now that I was the one being yelled at.

“Hi, Emily. I’m just here to see Lau—”

“GO AWAY!” she cut me off, banging back on the door with some hard object, maybe a baseball bat. The noise made me jump back instinctively, even knowing that a blunt object couldn’t really hurt me.

“I—”

“You promised,” she continued. “You promised me you wouldn’t come here. You’re not invited. Naomi isn’t invited. Go the hell away and never come back, I swear to you, Valerie.”

Hearing that had me paralyzed. I used to have so much with Emily… even though we hadn’t known each other that long, she used to call me her best friend, the only person she really trusted, even. I had never managed to damage our relationship this badly… it didn’t feel so worthless or transient next to Lauren when I was confronted this way. I really cared for this girl too.

But this kind of venom… beyond any personal comparisons Emily made, was this what convinced Mistress to let her go? Neither of us were used to this kind of hate…

“Please bring me Lauren, Emily! Mistress… Mistress is here too, Lauren!” I begged, raising my voice in the hopes that Lauren would hear what I had said. Emily’s apartment was a studio; there weren’t many places that Lauren could hide if I spoke loudly.

“Darling, let’s take care not to alert the neighbors if possible,” Mistress said, having sidled up next to me. “That could make things considerably more complicated than we’re prepared for.”

She was right as always — I didn’t want the people in the other apartments to overhear and potentially expose Mistress and I.

But it seemed like it didn’t matter anyway. There were shuffling sounds coming from behind the door now, Lauren’s scent growing stronger, and I heard the two of them arguing.

“Lauren, no!” Emily said. “We’re not opening the door for them, I—”

“I’m not inviting anyone in, Emily! I can’t, just let me—I have to talk to my Mistress!” Lauren insisted.

“No—no! Lauren, don’t open, just… use the peephole if you have to!”

“F-fine.” I heard Lauren’s hands press on the door. I couldn’t see Lauren back through the peephole, but I could smell her, and she was so close now, a matter of inches… it’s just that one of those inches was solid metal.

“OK, now look away!” Emily shouted, and I heard shuffling again as, I assumed, Emily pulled Lauren away from the peephole.

“So… so who was there?” she continued.

“Mistress and Val. Both of them…” Lauren said. “I hadn’t… I hadn’t quite considered how pretty Val would be like this. Goddess…”

“She looks the same, more or less, I’m sure,” Emily said. “Don’t let yourself fall for that. It’s just her charisma, you know?”

“And, uh, there was someone else there too. Didn’t recognize her,” Lauren continued. “Some, uh, lady with black hair? Kind of glassy-eyed? Oh Goddess, I just realized it might be…”

“Who?” Emily asked. “I didn’t—”

“Cassie. Maybe. Haven’t seen her myself.”

Lauren was right — Cassie was the secret weapon that I had brought along. I had been keeping her in trance until she was needed, so she was probably barely aware of anything that was happening. I had been holding her hand since we got out of the car, leading her around. She was dressed in her Massachusetts Tech shirt and jogging shorts tonight, leaving a lot of exposed skin for me to sink my fangs into if I wanted.

“Cassie, Cassie… oh my fucking god, the girl who Valerie enthralled? Oh my fucking god, we need to block the door, Lauren,” Emily said, her voice turning shrill with the sound of panic, and I heard shuffling again.

“Jesus, Lilith, I’m not gonna have her break in!” I said. “That’d be so awful! I thought Laurie might just want to see her to help her understand that being my thrall is OK. That I’m gonna treat her sweetly.”

Then I turned to Cassie and said, “awake and alert, honey.”

She took in a deep breath and put a hand on her head, seeming dizzy for a few moments as she got her bearings.

“Uh… Goddess,” she said, tensing up. “We’re, um, where is this?”

I had put her in trance before we had left, thinking it would be cute to pull her around like that without her even knowing where we were headed. But now I had to explain myself, which made me feel a little silly for doing this to begin with.

“Emily’s house,” I said, probably too quietly for Lauren and Emily to clearly hear. “That friend… former friend I mentioned? Lauren’s here. Here, look, Mistress and I aren’t invited inside so just, uh, speak to them through the door here. Tell them how you feel about being a thrall. Not too, too loud though. They’re right on the other side of the door.”

“Yes, Goddess,” she said, stepping in front of me to face the door. Lauren and Emily hadn’t said anything more themselves. They seemed to just be waiting, like they were really nervous…

“Hi, I’m Cassie,” she said, out of her element. She had told me about her huge fear of public speaking and I felt a little bad for having her do this given that. “I’m really happy being my Goddess’ thrall! I had a bad breakup before meeting Her and I’m barely even thinking about that any more because most of the time I’m just thinking about Her. She can basically do anything to me and—”

“Oh my god, stop!” Emily shouted. “Are you just gonna have this girl shout propaganda at us all night long? Don’t you realize that Cassie is at the heart of the problem in the first goddamn place?”

“Well, I figured that y’all could stand to hear that she’s doing OK, you know,” I said. “She’s being well taken care of and stuff. I’m learning. Mistress says I’m doing a good job.”

“She is doing a good job, I might add,” Mistress said.

“Who cares how good a job anyone is doing?” Emily said, as I heard a banging sound that only could’ve been her slamming her hands against her side of the door in frustration. “Valerie, you asked me of all people if it was OK to enthrall this woman. You, Cassie, hello! Your so-called “Goddess”, basically an ordinary woman in her late 20s named Valerie Hawthorne who, until about six months ago, stocked shelves and manned the cash register of a greeting card store in a strip mall, mind you, texted me, basically the poster girl for being fucked up about being enthralled, to ask me if it was ethical for her to strip the free will and literal lifeblood out of a random woman who she saw in the hallway of a hotel. That sound like the actions of someone who’s living completely guilt-free to you?”

“I mean… I mean, I know my Goddess was feeling really guilty the night She took me!” Cassie said. “But She overcame that and I’m so happy that She did. And She is a Goddess! I don’t care what kind of humble origins She came from, what form She takes. She’s my Goddess…” She leaned against my shoulder then, holding me lightly as though she were defending me from Emily’s comments.

Emily let out one of her usual exasperated sighs, and said, “I don’t know why I bother to convince a thrall. You’re not the one who needs to be convinced. I know how it is, girl. Hopefully you have a less violent way out of this than I did.”

“I just want to say,” Lauren spoke up, “the whole Cassie situation is reason number one why I came here to begin with, Val! I don’t want to be treated the same way as her, and you bringing her here isn’t gonna convince me! It just kind of freaks me out more, actually. If I say I don’t want to be your thrall like I have a dozen times now, I want you to back the fuck off and respect my autonomy!”

This was breaking my goddamned brain, or undead animus or whatever because Mistress had told me that apparently, She could still remain semi-conscious after being shot in the head. Nothing my girlfriend had said since I was turned made any sense.

“But Laurie,” I responded. “Neither of us have any autonomy to begin with! We’re Mistress’ loyal servants who exist to serve and obey Her!”

“We are,” Lauren said. “But we can still make some choices within that framework, right? I don’t think that me doing this is upsetting Her, or She would have told me. I mean, it isn’t, Mistress, is it? I’m not hurting You by being here?”

Mistress turned away from the door and growled, balling Her fist. I knew how much this whole situation was frustrating Her, but for one reason or another, She wasn’t speaking up about it. One of Her personal demons, I guessed. She had hated being pushed around by Her own begetter, so now She was refusing to push me around. But I loved being pushed around by Her. I wouldn’t have minded at all…

“I would like you at My birthday, Laurie,” She said, turning back to the door and speaking in a very measured tone. “And I will not say that this isn’t… perplexing to Me, to say the least. But I do recognize that you came here to evade Valerie rather than Myself. This is not My conflict to resolve. You may remain in there for the time being, if it’s what you need.”

Now I was balling my own fists too. Every time this subject came up… well, I didn’t want to think too poorly of it, but Mistress sounded straight up wishy-washy about the subject. When we had met, She had been one of the more decisive and straightforward people I’d ever talked to. Lauren, who struggled a lot with decisionmaking herself, really admired that about Mistress, even. It left me with so little to work with as Her loyal fledgling. If I was going to carry out Her will, I needed to know what Her will was, and that was really hard to balance with a patient attitude.

“Thank You, Mistress,” Lauren said, and from the barely-audible thud and a slight shift in the location of her scent, I realized that she must’ve fallen to her knees.

“Got it, Valerie?” Emily asked. “Your ‘Mistress’ has spoken. Get the hell out of here and leave Lauren in peace.”

And she was right. From a certain perspective, there was nothing more to do. I wasn’t getting invited in. Mistress wasn’t gonna help get Lauren out. What could I do? Lauren could hide, and eventually the sun would rise, and I’d have no choice but to leave.

But I couldn’t just leave it at that… I wordlessly motioned to Mistress and Cassie, beckoning them out into the parking lot, further from Emily’s door. They followed, though Mistress was crossing Her arms and looking back at the apartment wistfully.

“Mistress,” I pleaded, loud-whispering now. “I—I just don’t understand… I don’t understand why You’re being like this! I mean, I can tell how frustrating this is for You, You know! I want… to help You. I think I’m causing these feelings for You, aren’t I? You don’t have to worry about me! I’m getting better at handling myself… but Lauren, I need her, Mistress. How am I supposed to get her out with Emily running interference? If listening to Cassie won’t even be enough?

“But um, Cassie, by the way, you did a good job. Thanks for trying…” I took both of her hands in my own, giving her my best smile. It was enough for her, and she began smiling back. Goddess, thralls were so easy to please…

“Of course, Goddess. I’m glad I could serve—”

“Now, My apologies for interrupting, Cassie,” Mistress said, turning away and running Her fingers through her own hair with a great deal of frustration. “But I… ah, Valerie, it’s truly no use to tell you that I’m not a bit anxious. Even more so with Celia coming by soon. I tell Myself that if I can just make it through one more night, but…”

She trailed off, looking up at the stars above us. There was a bit of light pollution in this town, more than Mistress got on the beach at home, but the skies were clear and a lot of stars were visible. The ephemeral light, nowhere near bright enough to bother me, made both Mistress and Cassie look even more beautiful than usual.

“But Mistress, would it be easier on You if I just took Lauren? I get the impression that this is like half the stress You’re going through. Once she’s mine, everything can go back to normal…”

Mistress turned back to me with crimson fire in Her eyes, enough to make me jump.

“It will not be normal again, Valerie!” She shouted. “Nothing will. It’s not just Emily, darling, or Lauren, or Celia. Not even the hunters. It’s you, dear. I was not supposed to have a fledgling. You were going to remain My thrall, and you would eventually age, enough for us to part ways. We’d have our tearful goodbye, and I would keep on going. There would be other girls, none of them the same as you, but you’d remain in My memory. I would not turn anyone… I would not kill unnecessarily. I would hold fast to My principles. And in adhering to the latter, I have failed in the former. In ensuring that you survived with the gift of enthrallment, I created a partner who I wasn’t willing to let go of…”

I fell to my knees. There was nothing to do but apologize.

“I’m sorry, Mistress.”

That only caused her gaze to flash an even brighter crimson, reflecting the starlight above.

“It’s not something to apologize for!” Mistress dashed up to me, reached out Her hand and pulled me to my feet in one single motion, locking eyes with me. “It causes Me distress, yes, but… that was an unsustainable principle. At least in the circumstances in which I found Myself. I love all of My thralls, of course, but I never thought that I would lose someone so insultingly. You saved Me, dear. I couldn’t just let you be a human shield. And now, Lilith, you’re My fledgling, My responsibility. It’s true that I enjoy being in control, but you’re not merely My thrall any more. You need to learn to be in control of yourself! Especially when it comes to your own girlfriend. Some decisions are simply not Mine to make. If you desire Lauren for yourself, you must take her.” She looked over at Cassie for a moment. “Lilith knows you’re skilled enough to manage such a thing, even without My help.”

I hugged Mistress tightly, wrapping my arms all the way around Her. She was so generous, so forgiving, after I had put Her through so much. I really was in debt to Her. And She had such a beautiful, nicely shaped body too, and soft skin… Goddess, it made me miss when She had been supernaturally seductive toward me. Now was a time when I needed my thoughts overridden badly.

But that wasn’t Her will. It was up to me to get Lauren out of the apartment.

“Thank You, Mistress,” I said, giving Her a big squeeze. “You’re so sweet to me.”

“You deserve it, My fledgling,” She said, then gave me a big kiss on the lips.

Cassie had just been watching the whole time, without really saying anything. It was pretty cute, actually — she had learned to speak when spoken to in the presence of Goddesses like us.

Uh… was that OK to say? I rethought that for a moment. It was hot to call myself a Goddess, but was it doing my Mistress a disservice? It probably didn’t matter. She didn’t seem to mind, at least.

“Come on, Cassie. I might need your help again.” I took her hand the way Mistress liked to take mine, and walked back on up to Emily’s apartment. I was coming up with something resembling a better idea of what to do now, at least. My frustrations were more coherent now, more clear. That’s what Mistress had given me.

“Yes, Goddess,” Cassie said. Mistress sat down on an empty section of curb, giving me a look of encouragement. She might’ve still been stressed out, but it seemed like She had gotten something really important off Her chest just a moment ago.

“S-shit, Valerie’s coming back!” I heard Emily say from behind the door thanks to my sharp hearing. Seemed like I had been watched.

“Laurie,” I said, pressing myself up against my side of the door, desperately wishing I could go inside and feel the texture of her skin and the warmth of her blood under it. “I’ve got a question for you. Just a question.”

I waited. No response, not for those tense few seconds, at least.

I heard Emily start, “No, come on, Lauren, I really wouldn’t—”

“What’s up?” Lauren said. “Could you, um, maybe have Mistress relay to me or something? Emily’s right, I really shouldn’t be doing this…”

“Mistress wants me to handle this myself. She said it’s my responsibility,” I said.

“OK,” she said. “Ask your question, then.”

“So, you love being Mistress’ thrall, right?” I asked. The answer was obvious, of course, but I was building up to something.

“Of course!” Lauren said. “Of course! None of this has anything to do with that, Val, you know She’s my Goddess, our Goddess, and—”

“I agree,” I said. “Goddess, I miss making out with you and singing Mistress’ praises together, curling up every night and knowing we’re both Hers, feeling up each other’s bite marks…”

“Me too, Val. But you don’t get any bite marks any more, do you?” she said.

“Heh, it’s kind of faded and only so sensitive any more, but I’ll keep the one that Mistress gave me on my neck to turn me for good, actually. Part of how it works.”

“Oh, that’s cute…” Lauren said. “I’d love to touch it when we resolve this.” Again, an implicit reassertion of boundaries. That was really frustrating me… It was at the heart of all this.

“So, you love belonging to Mistress, just like me, of course,” I said. “But you didn’t want that at first, did you?”

“I mean, I was just scared. You and Emily had gotten me all worked up, I had a mistaken apprehension of what it’d be like. But it feels so good to obey Her that I forgot how to be scared any more. It just makes me horny now how much that fear was suppressed and turned into love and adoration even though it felt so intense before.”

“So… what if you’re just scared of this too, sweetie? What if I could take all of those fears away? Turn it into love, just like Mistress?” I asked.

“I… I already love you, Val,” she pleaded. “I don’t need to be brainwashed into that.”

There being a door between us was less than ideal. I wished Lauren could see me and see how pretty I was, how pretty I had become. My voice could only do so much on its own, especially in such a high-stress situation…

“Can you take no for an answer, Valerie?” Emily asked. “You’re better than this, aren’t you? I know you are.” Gah — couldn’t she see that this was a conversation between Lauren and I now?

“This isn’t your concern, Emily—”

“You’re having it at my apartment! I’m involved!” she snapped.

“I didn’t want to do this here,” I said. “Never meant to get you involved, even though, uhh, you do admittedly smell really nice too. I can tell from all the way out here.”

All I got in response to that was a nervous, angry, exasperated laugh, which quickly faded, Emily apparently moving further from the door in response. That was convenient, actually.

“I, uh…” Lauren said, seizing up behind the door, I was pretty sure. “Emily went back into the kitchen.”

“She gonna be alright?” I asked. “I really didn’t mean to—”

“V-Valerie, do I smell good to you too?” Lauren blurted out. “I’ve been thinking about what you’d think of me ever since you were turned and it’s a complicated thing but now we’re here and you said you could smell Emily and you can probably smell me, right? What do I smell like… to you?”

I slammed my hands against my side of the door, almost denting the metal — but not quite. Damaging my way into this residence was feeling really wrong on a deep, internal level. But Lauren was also asking an exciting question, the kind that submissive girls made when they wanted to have their blood drunk.

“Uh… you’re sweet and tangy, just like Mistress likes to say. I think it’s something like what oranges smell like? But, um… it’s hard for me to really envision what an orange is supposed to taste like now. You’re nothing like any orange I’ve smelled, anyway. You smell like my girlfriend. You smell like… like fiction writing. Attention to detail. Passion, I think? And protectiveness toward yourself and others. But also kind of tangy…” I giggled, excited at how close she was now. I was pretty sure she was directly on the other side of the door too, both of us pressed against it, only a couple of inches apart…

“Goddess… that’s sweet of you, Val,” she said.

“You’re sweet of you,” I shot back, in the silly way that we often would to each other. “That’s what I’ve been saying. I want to taste you so badly, Laurie, more than anything in the fucking world. I came here already thinking that and after smelling you I don’t know how I could ever pull myself away. I love you, Laurie, love you, love you, love you, I need you to be mine. You know?”

“Y-yeah…” she breathed. “I just… just wish there was another way.”

“You won’t once I have my fangs in you,” I reminded her.

“I know, but… I don’t want that either,” she said. “I just… I keep telling you, Val, I wish you’d understand… it’s a matter of priorities. I can’t just… give it all up. Mistress is the only Goddess I want to worship. And She’s not telling me to do this. I almost wish She would… I want to know what your fangs are like. All the little ways that they’re different from Hers…”

“You, um, you think they’d be different?” I asked.

“Um, yeah…” she said. “I mean, you and Mistress have pretty different bodies. I’ve gotta imagine that getting turned is a little like taking hormones. It’s gonna turn out a little bit differently for everyone, right?”

“Heh… guess so,” I said. Huh, wild. Three of my partners were trans but I never expected to have any similar experiences myself. That was eye-opening.

“But, um, Goddess, I sorta wish that Mistress would tell you to do this too,” I continued. “To let me have you. So you’d come out and… you’d let me be gentle with you, just like Mistress. I could hold you in my arms as I drink from you, long and slow and sweet. I’d make you comfortable, sweetie…”

“Can you stop trying to play her already?” Emily said, her voice growing louder. She must’ve returned from the kitchen. “Just go home already. Get out of here before the sun comes up.”

I snuck a peek at my phone, and said, “It’s not even 1 AM yet. We’ve got time.”

“Look, Emily… she’s got a point to a certain extent. I think I see why she’s so desperate for this to work out,” Lauren said.

“Focus, Lauren!” Emily shouted back. “She’s playing you using her bullshit mind powers! You know about it as well as anyone!”

“I… yeah, but… I mean, I just don’t want to fight with my Val,” she said, her voice wavering. “This is the most exhausting fucking thing, Emily. I was coming here hoping to avoid an actual confrontation at all. I don’t want to fight her.”

“Well… that’s the cost of not doing what a vampire wants, it seems,” Emily said. “You either agree to become an obsequious yes-woman or you fight like hell, stay obstinate, and hope against hope that they’ll let you go.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” my Laurie replied. “I don’t want to believe that…”

“I just don’t get it,” I cut back in. “If you want Mistress to make you want it… why… why can’t you just make the jump yourself? What’s the difference between wanting it and wanting to want it?”

“It’s almost like an intrusive thought,” she said. “There’s the part of me that wants to surrender and kneel for you and let you become my Goddess. And there’s the part of me that thinks it’s a horrible idea and it’d destroy our relationship forever. It’s always been like this… I don’t know how to square it.”

“But wasn’t that the same with Mistress?” I asked. “I mean, more or less? What makes us so different here? I mean, Mistress can do what She likes with both of us of course, we’re Hers… I’m so happy we’ve rebuilt our lives around Her! But what makes me different then? I know you’ve said all that about us having a different relationship to begin with, we’re already girlfriends, but what’s really so different? Why can’t I have the same thing?”

“Valerie… look at what you’re saying,” Emily said. “Take a step back.” She was keeping perfectly composed. I still had no idea how she was able to do that in the presence of our kind.

“Why is it bad when I do it, Lauren?” I shouted, playing with my hands to let out frustration. “Mistress and I are the same! Why can’t I be praised for doing what She would do?”

I fell to my knees and broke down crying. I only wanted one thing here… why was it so hard to get it? I was following the only example I had… my moral center, my Mistress and Goddess… Was that so wrong? I had rebuilt my whole life around Her, more than that, so much further than just my life now, and I was going to be told it was wrong by Mistress’ own thrall? The love of my life?

“Uh…” Lauren whimpered in a small, trembling voice. “You’re not my Mistress. That’s why.”

“But… Mistress wasn’t your Mistress either until She was!” I said. “It was our destiny to be Hers. It was an act of divine providence. Can’t it be the same between you and I? I… I’ll be your Goddess just the same way. I’ll hold you in my arms, spoon you, keep you safe… we can keep what we have, Laurie. I’ll just be your Goddess from now on. OK?”

“‘Ooh, everything will be the same, except you’ll worship me like I’m a perfect Goddess even though I’m just a regular, mild-mannered lady who happened to get turned into a vampire’,” Emily mocked, interrupting Lauren just as she was about to speak. “Are you listening to yourself, Valerie? It’s a big change to make. Don’t treat this like it’s some simple thing. Kathy fucked me up bad, you know. Are you ready to put the same kind of thing on your own girlfriend?”

“I—I wouldn’t be like Kathy!” I said, really hoping it was true. “Listen to Cassie! You’re doing well, aren’t you, sweetie?” I patted her on the back as lightly as I could manage, sending her toward the door. She had been waiting by my side like a good girl all this time…

“Of course I’m doing well, Goddess,” Cassie said, a big smile on her face. “I love You! I never knew I could be OK with such a big change in my life! But I guess it’s like You said about Your own Mistress. It’s destiny… I know I was always meant for this.”

“S-see?” I said, balling my fists. I was doing the best I could, OK? What the hell more could I do to prove myself? I could never be Mistress, but I’d do my best to emulate Her, and emulate Lilith, and be the best Goddess I could be.

Nobody said anything, and the silence was palpable. I looked back at Mistress on the curb. She had brought a book from the car and was reading it, probably tuned out of our conversation a little. I guessed this really was up to me. And… and I didn’t want to say it, but that was…

“This whole thing has been pretty frustrating,” I said, pressing my right hand against the door while I held Cassie’s hand with my left. “I’m used to Mistress telling me what to do. Having to make a decision like this is hard. I’ve wanted to be decisive about it.”

“God, I know how that is,” Emily said. “I mean, you remember, Valerie. Day we met, you asked me if I wanted to go out for burgers or tacos, and I couldn’t decide… I was used to picking the one that Kathy wanted.. That was all I knew how to do at that point.

“But Naomi didn’t put you up to this, right? That means you can choose not to do it, you know. It’d be completely reasonable. It would be what Lauren wants.”

“I… yeah,” Lauren agreed.

“But I… it’s not what I want! I want to taste you, Lauren!” I said. “I’ve been thinking about you since the night I was turned. You and your blood… your blood!” I couldn’t stop myself from drooling and pressing myself against the door, but I tried, struggled to pull myself back. I wanted to at least try and appreciate what Emily had to say.

“It’s just… it’s just, Mistress does care,” I continued. “I know She does. Otherwise She wouldn’t have brought me here. She wouldn’t have supported me through this whole thing. There’s been no order to take you, it’s true… but She wanted me to reunite with you. She’s encouraged it… And I just have to wonder, why is now the time when She’s hands-off?

“Why is She just now choosing to respect our consent?”

I stood there panting for a few seconds, feeling faint, like I could barely stand, even though I didn’t need to breathe. Cassie wrapped her arm around mine, helping me stabilize… but somehow, she wasn’t helping.

It was Emily who spoke up first.

“Valerie, you realize how fucked up that sounds—”

“It’s not fucked up if Mistress does it! She has no need to respect our consent because I’ll always consent to anything She would ask of me!” I exclaimed. “Don’t you fucking understand?”

“Just stop, stop, please, both of you!” Lauren shouted, bringing her voice down to a whisper mid-sentence as we all once again became aware of the noise we were making. People would hear a lovers’ quarrel and not want to get involved, hopefully. That was the best-case scenario at this point. Goddess, I really hoped that Emily wouldn’t somehow snitch on us to some vampire hunter. It was wild considering that I even had to worry about that sort of thing. I really didn’t want to become a target, not to mention the danger it could bring upon Mistress…

“Look,” Lauren continued, speaking just above a loud-whisper, “Val… Val, there’s something here, I think. So many times Mistress has gone and made our decisions for us, as is Her right, of course. So the question is why, right? Why leave this to us, when She clearly has some kind of answer in mind? She’s a Goddess, She wouldn’t just do this by mistake…

“Mistress loves taking women as Her thralls. If She were in your shoes, Valerie, that’s probably what She would do, right?”

I nodded, and Lauren continued, “Or, maybe, like Emily here, like the hunter who kidnapped Her, Mistress would leave me alone. Not enthrall me. One or the other, enthrall me or let me be. But She isn’t in your shoes, Val. She’s not even telling you what steps to take; She’s refusing to offer any input, even.

“So, what if there’s a third option? What if Mistress wants us to do something that She’d never do? What if She needs us to improvise?”

Oh… my Laurie was brilliant. She must have been right. There had to be some way that I could have her for myself and not enthrall her. Something that went even further beyond the scope of Mistress’ usual routine… something that even She had never tried before in 200 years.

“I’m sorry, what is this about Me?” Mistress said, walking up behind me with Her arms crossed. She looked kind of perturbed and suddenly I regretted this entire line of questioning. But it couldn’t be disregarded entirely, either… not before I knew what She was thinking.

“Mistress,” I said, unwrapping my arm from Cassie’s as I kneeled on the floor before Her, head hung low. “I know what I want to do. At least, I think I do.”

“Valerie, what are you…” Emily began, trailing off. I hoped that she would let me have this.

“Heh, we’ve been here before, haven’t we?” I said. “It’s just like the night You took Laurie, Mistress, but now I’m in Your shoes. If it went the same, Laurie would be my thrall at the end of this. But Mistress… aren’t You tired of the same thing happening over and over again? I think… I think that Lauren and I both are.”

“I’m not altogether sure I understand,” Mistress said, looking off to the side. She brushed Her bangs out of Her face as it fluttered in the cool spring breeze. She was so beautiful, especially from this low angle.

“Well, it’s just… You and I came here expecting me to take Laurie, right?” I said, looking up at Mistress with a smile. “But Laurie is worried about what happens to our relationship if I do that. So I’m thinking, what if I can drink her blood and preserve our relationship?”

Mistress’ shoulders slumped as She heard that, and She frowned at me. “That would not be as easy as you might think, my fledgling. The only way I would know to do such a thing would be to remove her memories of being bitten at all. But as long as you remain together, I do not know how practical that would be to maintain, and Lauren would retain none of the experience, you understand?”

I nodded.

“Besides,” She continued. “Thralls are so adorable, aren’t they? I strain to see what benefit you’d gain from leaving Lauren without that experience.”

“I already have that experience, Mistress,” Lauren said apprehensively. “I’m Yours forever. Unless You’re ordering me to submit to Val…”

Mistress whirled around away from the door and put Her hand on Her face, then turned back around, gritting Her fangs. “No, no, this is not My… this is Valerie’s choice.”

“I’m so grateful to You for that, my Goddess,” I said, kneeling back down. “For a while here I couldn’t understand why You were affording me that freedom, but I think I get it now. You wanted to challenge me, didn’t You? You wanted me to think beyond the binary choice that’s been laid out…”

“Er… er… but I just don’t see how one would do that,” Mistress said.

“Then figuring that out must be up to me,” I said. “You’re right, of course, Mistress, that thralls are adorable. I loved being Your thrall and Cassie is extremely yummy.” I hugged my Cassie’s leg from ground level and ran my fangs across her skin, causing her to go almost limp and moan wildly, barely able to stand on her feet with that kind of stimulation. Mistress seemed happy to see it, and squatted down to see us more closely, eye level with me. That meant I had to kneel down further, nearly prostrating myself as I pulled my fangs away from Cassie.

“Thank You, Goddess, I love You, Goddess…” my thrall murmured. But I was already thinking back to other things.

“It’s just, Mistress, I have an idea of how to do this,” I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

“You do?” Lauren asked.

“You do?” Emily repeated.

“You do?” Mistress asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“I think so,” I sighed, looking up at Her. “At least I want to think so.”

“Valerie… you aren’t thinking of bringing her permanent harm, are you?” She asked, snarling. “Is that what you mean when you say you want a third option? I won’t allow that.”

“Oh Goddess, no, no!” Lauren shouted, while Emily let out a groan in fear and disgust. But no, no, they all had it all wrong. Even Mistress wasn’t immune to misunderstandings.

“No, I promise, no!” I shouted, looking between Mistress and the door frantically. “I just… I have an idea of how we could preserve our relationship, Laurie! Long-term! We can have it both ways!”

Mistress shook Her head gravely. “I’m telling you, Valerie, whatever you try, I don’t think it will work…”

“Please, Mistress,” I said, bowing my head. “Please hear me out. Don’t You think that trying something else for once could be productive? You could learn something new about Yourself. Your capabilities, the capabilities of our kind, beyond what You could have imagined.”

I looked back up at Her with a little smile, and whispered, “You liked it the last time I told You what to do, right? Now I’m just laying out another option we can both use. Wouldn’t You like that, Mistress?” I put my hand on Her cheek and gave it a soft caress.

Her expression, somewhere between a smile and a frown and an enraged glare, was completely inscrutable to me, even after being Hers for all these months. I realized that I might have overstepped, but I did know that Mistress enjoyed being treated as a lesser once in a while, deep down. I hoped it came through that I wanted only to please Her, and to find a solution to the Laurie situation that would preserve everything that the three of us had together.

“I… am satisfied with the way I’ve carried out My undeath,” She eventually said. “I didn’t… I didn’t cause this, Valerie. I didn’t encourage it. But… if you believe it would please Me, I will hear you out.” She crossed Her arms, appearing very small as She crouched down beside Me, despite Her imposing height.

I took Her hand and squeezed it hard. “Thank You so much, Mistress. I’m blessed to have this opportunity.”

I stood and turned back toward the door, while Mistress remained crouching, looking off to the side. The girls in the apartment had stayed silent. I wondered what they were thinking about all this, hearing whichever parts they did.

“Laurie. What if I let you be my girlfriend some of the time?” I proposed. “And the rest of the time, you could be my loyal thrall, waiting on me in the same way you wait on Mistress.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Emily said, annoyed. “So it still comes down to her losing—”

“You mean, we could still have our relationship?” Lauren interrupted. “How would you…”

“It’s a trick, Lauren!” Emily said, the two of them seeming to physically struggle against each other. “She’s just gonna take you, how could you ever trust her to—”

“It’s not a trick!” I said. “I… I value what Lauren wants in our relationship too. I just… I have such a craving for you, Laurie. I can’t let that go. I need to have you. I need to find a compromise. I don’t know how I could ever handle myself any other way. You’d just be… standing there, you’d prick your finger on a toothpick and I’d…” I shivered, thinking of how wonderful that would be. I was improving, but I still had nothing close to Mistress’ capacity for self-control.

“I’d want it too, Valerie,” Lauren said, her tone evening out. “I’d want it every single day. I’ve been sitting here for the last three days wanting it. I’ve been dreaming about you for the last three days, my love, wanting you. Wanting you to take me… wanting to succumb to your voice. Even with a few inches of steel between us, your voice, Valerie, it’s, Goddess, it’s irresistible. I want to let it take control of me… stop worrying, and stop—”

“Get ahold of yourself, Lauren,” Emily said. “You cannot let yourself fall for this, not now, not after all of this, Jesus Christ…”

“I want to fall for it, Emily,” my girlfriend said dreamily. “I have since before I even came here. I just want to know how Val’s gonna make it possible.”

“Y-yeah,” I responded, hopeful that my plan would work after all. I was pressed up against the door again, wanting to take in as much of Lauren’s amazing beautiful perfect scent as I possibly could. I could only imagine that she was doing the same on the other side, or at least trying. The two of us were drawn to each other, that was for sure.

“What I’m thinking is that I’d first need to put you in a nice, deep trance before I drank any of your blood, Laurie,” I explained. “I’d have to, hmm, sort of record an image of your subconscious, the way you feel about me right now, deep down. The way you view me pre-enthrallment. It’d have to be carefully crafted… I’d need Mistress’ help with it for sure, but I know there’s at least a part of Her that wants to see this through, so I think I should be able to get Her to.

“Then, once you were mine, I’d need to give you a new hypnotic trigger, also carefully crafted with Mistress’ help. When it was activated, your subconscious state from tonight would come back. I’d need to make sure to implement this part quickly, right after you came to for the first time. We’d be back to being equals, and you’d keep all of your memories, because it’d just be an image of your subconscious state, not your conscious one. There’d be a strong continuity, I’d make sure of it. Then, when I felt like it, I could switch it back off, and you’d go back to your rightful place, kneeling at my feet. How does that sound?”

“Uh… Goddess, that sounds amazing…” Lauren murmured. “In… in a lot of ways. I guess I’d just want to have some kind of schedule… to hold you to it. Some time when I’d be able to go back to being your regular girlfriend reliably.”

Urgh… there was still so much complexity in this for her. Why couldn’t I just have her and have her now and figure out the rest later? But that wasn’t going to be practical with my own plan, was it?

And meanwhile, Mistress was looking completely zoned out, leaning against the brick wall of the building with one hand, looking out of breath, like She even needed to breathe.

“A moment, Lauren,” She said. “If… if you wanted to do such a thing, Valerie… and I still can’t say I fully understand why you would, but if you did… I think that first part would be the key. Preserving the feeling of what it was like not to be yours. I think that, based on experience… that might counteract the joy of enthrallment. If you ever wanted to counteract joy and fulfillment, Lilith! Why are we even entertaining this?” She covered Her face with Her hands, but I could tell that, ironically, there was some fulfillment in this for Her. Otherwise, I had to imagine that She would shut this down, regardless of anything She had said before. She had the power and the right, and She knew how to use it…

“You would help me figure out the details, Mistress?” I asked, practically fluttering my eyelashes. Even fledglings had to ask for favors sometimes.

“Gah! Yes!” Mistress growled, slamming her fist into the brick and breaking off a few pieces. I looked around worriedly, but no one was coming out of their apartments just yet. I hoped they could sleep through all this.

“I would do anything for you, my fledgling. Anything. Even something which I can’t see the purpose of… and I will take solace in the fact that Laurie will remain Mine regardless.” She took my hand gently and offered me a smile, a few tears streaming down Her face.

“This is some real horse-piss-shit, Lauren,” Emily said. “They’re collaborating outside, Laurie. It’s some good cop-bad cop shit. Are you gonna listen to cops?”

“M-Mistress is right,” Lauren said. “One way or another, I’ll always be Hers. She has no reason to try and trick me. Otherwise She’d order me out here Herself. There isn’t any need for games when my soul already belongs to Her completely. She’s nothing like a cop… She’s a Goddess.”

“I… I guess that makes sense,” Emily said. “The not needing to trick you part. She isn’t a goddess. But… are you sure this is what you really want?”

“If Valerie is willing to make some compromises, I think so, yeah,” Lauren said. “Like, Val, what if it was just once a week that I was your thrall? And the rest, we can just be regular girlfriends. Sorta like, you know, having sex once in a while?”

Distracted from their conversation by my closeness to Mistress, I looked back over at the door. Only once a week? That was a little disheartening, especially since we got into bed together quite a bit more often than that (usually when the subject of our devotion to Mistress came up), but I was sure I could win her over…

“T-that’s all?” I asked. “What if it was… like, at least half the time?”

“Uh… that’s a lot…” Lauren said, a hint of fear audible again.

“See, there’ll always be more upsells—” Emily started.

“It’s kind of hot that it’s that much,” Lauren giggled. “I’ll do it. I’d love it.”

I practically jumped for joy at that, leaping out of Mistress’ arms, then grabbing Cassie and hugging the both of them, overjoyed that I had found a way to make this work. I began laughing a little madly, drooling at the thought of having Lauren for myself even half the time, 50% more of the time than I already had her. Cassie started laughing too, excited about my excitement, and even Mistress began laughing too. I knew She would be won over from the start, of course, at least I wanted to think so.

I heard the sound of a latch turning and whirled my head around.

“No, Lauren, stop, what the hell are you—” Emily shouted, and I watched as the door finally swung open, the two women struggling together over the doorknob, Lauren forcing her whole self into view. She was wearing her green and purple flannel and white mini-dress, both of which looked a bit crumpled and unwashed, and her straight brown hair looked clean, but a little frizzy. She was just as beautiful as the last time I saw her, close to two months ago, and it reminded me that we still had a long, long time together.

Emily, on the other hand, was scowling as she failed to keep Lauren from opening the door, Lauren having better leverage from her angle. Her brown skin was beaded with a huge amount of sweat, unlike Lauren’s light skin, and her clothing was unkempt — she was wearing a set of gray pajamas. I really didn’t like to see her in this state. It reminded me of when I had first met her.

She looked up by chance, and her eyes met mine, and the door swung the rest of the way open as she lost hold of it completely.

I let out a little gasp, not having meant to do this to her at all. But now that I had the opportunity, her A positive smelling so delicious…

I hadn’t even considered this possibility all night. I was just here for Lauren. Mistress had written off this possibility seven months ago. But it was happening now, regardless of what any of us had intended…

Lauren almost tumbled to the ground as the door swung open with no resistance from Emily left. She was just staring, staring, completely under my spell.

“Emily, I’m sor— oh,” Lauren said, looking back at Emily, still standing beyond her apartment’s threshold. Lauren was out here now, right next to me, easily within grasp. I had been looking forward to her all night. But now a whole new taste was on the horizon.

“Oh my,” Mistress said. “What have we here? Like a moth to a flame…”

“Mistress, she’s mine. P-please,” I grunted, glancing at Her weakly. Mistress could have her too, of course, She could have anything, but I did feel a little territorial.

“I-is she, Val?” Lauren asked, staring at Emily, bewildered. “Are you… is She gonna be yours, too? Is that a good idea?”

“Well, she’s already in the process of becoming mine, I think,” I said. “Aren’t you, Emily?”

“Y-yes, Goddess,” she said, with the slightest hint of gritting her teeth. I… I felt a need to stamp that out. To stamp out the last hint of resistance this girl could give, over a year after I saved her from a similar fate…

“Come out here, won’t you? No need to stay in the apartment,” I commanded. These two had been out of my reach all night. I couldn’t even see the two of them for this whole engagement. I was getting real tired of that.

She emerged like a sleepwalker, stepping right over the threshold, directly toward me, and said, again, “yes, Goddess.” Only this time, that hint of resistance seemed pretty much gone.

“Excellent, my fledgling,” Mistress said. “Perhaps now we can gain access into her home, and feast on her together?”

It was a nice idea, and it would clearly please Mistress… plus, it would give us a cozy place to do all of the stuff I had talked about with Emily without having to drive all the way back to Plum Island or Hooksett or whatever. But then again… I had promised Emily I wouldn’t come here, that I wouldn’t go inside her apartment. This was maybe her one safe place in the whole world. Could I really violate that? Could I justify any of this? After all I had done for her?

I closed my eyes and thought for a second, groaning, then decided.

“Go back inside, Emily. Then wake up.”

She did, grumbling “yes, Goddess” one last time before returning inside.

I had to set some limits. After everything, Emily still really mattered to me.

Mistress covered Her face and began pacing.

“That was a bit of a massive opportunity loss, sweetie,” She said.

“But it’s the same kind of decision You made, wasn’t it, Mistress? Back at my apartment?” I asked.

“I suppose, dear,” She said, sighing and looking up at the stars. Tonight, I felt like I knew Mistress better than She knew Herself. Maybe that was an arrogant and wrongful position to take as Her devoted fledgling, but then again, I was going to be Hers forever. I needed to understand Her needs and understand them well, and cover all of Her weaknesses. Forever was a long time to keep Her safe.

“V-Valerie,” Lauren said, pressing herself into me for a huge hug. “I love you so much. Thank you for not doing this.”

“Y-yeah. I… Lilith, I missed you,” I said, giving her a huge hug back.

“You’re so cold now, sweetie. Just like Mistress,” she said. “It’s really fun. And gosh, your fangs… can I touch them?”

I nodded, opening my mouth a little to make it easier for her.

She touched a finger to my left fang, and I let out a little moan, suppressing the urge to bite down. Fuck, that was so sensitive… it felt kind of nice.

“Gosh, they’re sensitive, huh?” she said. “I really like that. See, honey, we’ve gotta explore stuff like this together! Might be a little harder if I’m acting all like ‘yes, Goddess’, ‘no, Goddess’, all the goddamn time.”

I started giggling, and just embraced Lauren again. She did have a point. Maybe I did need someone like her to help keep me in line and figure out who I really was. In a way, she’d fill a similar role that Olivia had for Mistress, even if she was just a human.

“And you’re Cassie, yeah?” Lauren said, barely reaching a hand out from my iron grip to grab my thrall’s. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, Lauren,” she said, giving Lauren a bit of a professional smile that I knew she had learned from working at a college. “I’ve heard a lot about you. You really love my Goddess a lot, don’t you?”

“I… hehe, yeah, I do,” Lauren said, maybe a bit uncomfortably, I wasn’t sure. “I’m glad she’s had you while I’ve been apart from her. You’re cute, you know?”

“Thanks,” Cassie said. “I try to be pretty for Her.”

“So,” Mistress said, getting ahold of Herself and clapping Her hands together. “Shall we depart back to your home? It seems like only an appropriate place, and we can hash everything out tonight.”

“Yes, Mistress!” Lauren and I both said, almost in sync — Lauren stopped and giggled at me over that, squeezing my hand tight.

“Goddess, it’s good to see you both again,” Lauren said, pulling us both into a hug.

“Valerie!” I heard, confused about where it was coming from for a second. I looked up, away from everyone… Emily was standing in the doorway, looking at me with a tired expression on her face.

“I’m going to bed,” she said, letting out a heavy sigh. “I almost forgot quite what that felt like. Being, uh, entranced. Those brilliant red eyes…”

“I-I’m sorry—” I stammered.

“Just… just stop,” she said. “I understand you’re going through something I can’t quite understand. And I’m pretty sure that you didn’t do anything… I mean, you didn’t, right?”

Mistress put Her arm around my back in support, and Lauren did the same a moment later, from the other side. And Cassie was kneeling next to me a moment later, holding onto my leg. Goddess, I really hoped no one came out of their apartment to see this.

“I didn’t,” I confirmed. “All I had you do was come over here.”

“Then you take good care of Lauren, alright?,” Emily asked. “I really mean it. If you hurt her, I’ll make you regret it… whatever way I have left. And Lauren, Cassie, you take care of yourselves too. Prioritize yourselves in whatever ways you still know how.”

The two thralls gave small, unsure nods, while I took a deep breath and gave Emily one last look.

“They’ll be safe with me, Emily. Count on it.”

She closed the door, and I was left wondering if I’d ever hear from her again.

I really did mean it, though — Lauren and I would have that 50/50 time together. It wasn’t just what was best for her, though I really did want to believe that it was. It wasn’t even just what was best for Mistress. Even as a loyal fledgling, I had to consider what was best for me, too.