“Ta-dah”

She said the words with a sense of ceremony and a flurry of finger waving. In most circumstances this would be a grand reveal complete with a red curtain pull.

But from my seat on the floor the object of the “Ta-dah” was squarely in the middle of a coffee table. It was a completed tower of Jenga blocks or at least…

“Only half?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Nicole shrugged. “I didn’t have the attention span for the whole thing. Plus, this way it looks like a stack of mini waffles.”

The image of the waffles was very clear in my mind. I could see the little rectangular blocks of wood crisscrossing into squares of baked wheat and processed preservatives.

“Are they hickory flavored?” I mused towards the wooden waffles.

“I guess if you lit the tower on fire.” Nicole did a waggle of her fingers, which I took to be mimicking cinders.

This was a normal conversation for us. We had minds of the never quiet variety. Lines of inquiry were more like jumps and hops from one idea to another, loosely connected by some eldritch association that was very clear at the time.

“Hmmm...” It was my stock response. A confirmation that I had heard her but didn’t know what to add.

And as usual when one of us used our stock response, the conversation went quiet. Only breaking into the occasional fidget or noise to satiate the never quiet brains. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It was our normal. Chatting between us came sporadically, in bursts or in short quips. The quips being one of countless thoughts constantly firing in our minds. But sometimes we’d settle on a topic.

“Want to play with my brain?”

All the ideas in my never quiet brain aligned in chorus at that question. All converging on one response.

“Sure, what are feeling like?”

I felt a tinge of discomfort when I sensed my own eagerness. Even if hypnosis was a shared interest, I always had trouble bringing up the idea. It always felt callous, especially as the hypnotist. It was like asking someone to fuck after exchanging a couple of sentences with them. Yet when offered, all those discordant thoughts immediately answered with desire.

“Well, going deep sounds nice.” Nicole pointed towards her head. “I’d like this to be nice and quiet today.”

The discomfort faded, my hopping thoughts finally marching down into lines. They all moved towards the endpoint Nicole had just defined. I considered our history, our past play and conversations. The different tools, queues, and words she had responded to. My eyes scanned around, taking in her demeanor and clothes. She was in a plain shirt and shorts. No shiny accessories to use. My eyes went to the room. Clicky pens, jangly keys, a wooden tower. How each object would sound and look played out in my head. A sudden pop. A trickling clinking. An empty clop.

“I think I can do that,” I felt myself smile with the words. A mixture of confidence and pride. “We’ll start with our usual. How are you feeling right now?”

Nicole laid back into the couch with a nod. “Good, it’s been a productive day.” She motioned to the half stack of wooden pancakes.

“Good,” I nodded back. I pointed to the tower. “How long did you spend on this?”

Nicole tilted her head up with a slow blink. I noted a slight bend in her lip as she considered the question. “Maybe 20 minutes?” Her voice more of a question to herself.

“Good,” I said. I watched her lips go into a small grin. Even if it was just answering a question, she still responded to that bit of praise. “Do you remember how the blocks felt?”

Another pause. She made a gentle stroking motion of her index finger as if replaying the memory. “Not light but not heavy. Smooth.”

“Good.” I saw her grin grow softer this time. “Think of each piece very carefully. Its weight. Its definition.” I gently ran a finger along the topmost row of blocks, mirroring her movement. Nicole’s eyes quietly followed along.

“Think of how each block is different.” I made a slow stroke with my index finger across each top brick. “The coloring, the tiny differences in texture, each block has so much to take in”

I studied Nicole’s face. Her eyes were trailing along with my fingers. She had a light grin and her own fingers had grown still. She was following along, but I would need a bit more before I could cast my hook into her mind.

“I want you remember building this.” I now motioned to the entire tower, gently running my fingers down as many blocks as I could. “Remember how you had to place each block. Putting all that thought into each little piece. Each piece needed so much of your focus. So much of your thinking. Isn’t that right?” 

“...Yeah…” Nicole’s eyes did a slow blink, her response more delayed this time, her voice answering with more breath. 

“Gooood.” I put on more of a drawl to my delivery, almost like a rising singsong.  Nicole’s head gently swayed in response. “Each block can contain so many thoughts. Shapes, colors, feelings, ideas. Put as many as you can into each one.”

Nicole was starting to bend forward. Her eyes locked on the half tower. I moved my fingers to direct her attention to the top most blocks.

It was time to cast my hook.

“Very good, my doll.”

Nicole’s body tugged itself forward. Her eyes fluttered but kept following along with the tracing of my fingers. Her mind floundering but unable to resist the pull. 

“You’re putting all your thoughts into the blocks. Your mind all stacked into this tower. Isn’t that right my doll?”

“Yes Master...”

There it was. The shift in tone. That mumbly breathy reply. The droop in her posture. Eyelids drifting between opened and closed. It was the sights and sounds of Nicole opening her mind to be played with.

“Very good, my doll.” I heard a small sigh as I took a block from the top of the tower. “All of those thoughts you put into this block, I’m holding them right now. Like a piece of your mind is in my fingers.”

I gently twirled the block around, watching Nicole’s head sway in tandem.

I pinched the block between my fingers. Nicole stiffened.

I motioned the piece to the Jenga tray next to the table. “So what will happen if I tossed this block away? All those thoughts and feelings just dropped. What would happen to that piece of your mind?”

There was a hitch in Nicole’s breathing. Her mind being like a toy I could play with piece by piece was exciting her.

“I...I-”

Clop

Nicole gave a tiny gasp. Her body did a small spasm forward. Eyes fluttering.

“Very good, my doll.” She relaxed with a long sigh at the praise. “And just like that, those thoughts are gone. Tossed away.”

I took a center block from a row below. “Imagine this one has all your thoughts on moving. Everything about how to move your body, right between my fingers.”

I placed the piece sitting upright in my palm. Nicole’s posture straightened, going from a forward bend to an upright sit on the couch. Her gaze still on the piece, face flushed, eyelids fluttering.

Clop

Nicole sank backward into the couch. Her legs oozed forward, nearly threatening to bump the table. Her arms noodling along the cushions. The only motion was her head gently tilting to watch my hands.

Another piece. 3 rows down this time, from the side. The tower wobbled ever so slightly and I heard Nicole moan.

“Next. This block has all your words in it. Your voice like a toy in my hands.“

I squeezed the block in my palm so that the top still popped out. Nicole squeaked.

I laid the brick down in my open palm. “Tell me you’re a good doll for your Master.”

There was a quiver in Nicole’s breathing. Words struggling through the fog. “I-I’m a good doll for M-”

Clop

Nicole gasped and shuddered. The last of the words dissolving into mumbling breaths. Mouth hanging open, face flushed.

I took from the same row this time, leaving that entire level balanced on one lone brick. The tower wobbled even more. Nicole’s breath growing shaky.

“These are your inhibitions. Shame, embarrassment, modesty. Any ideas keeping you from letting yourself feel good.” I clasped the piece into my grip, smothering it completely. “Just let that pleasure wash through you my doll.”

I saw Nicole’s fingers curl ever so slightly before remembering their own paralysis. She closed her mouth and eyes, a moan escaping.

Clop

The moan became a whine. Her body did a restrained roll against the couch cushion.

And so I continued. Dismantling her mind piece by piece. My never quiet brain taking note of each change in breathing, each twitch of her body, and flush of her skin. Thinking how to use each one for current or future play. As I removed the parts of her that remembered how to wear clothing. I wondered how much difference there was between how she felt and how I felt.

We took solidarity in our thoughts being chaotic and difficult to rally. The straight lines of thinking normal society demanded leading us to trip and tumble over ideas that wanted to leap and run. Yet here, we were both focused on a singular thing. A singular person.

The tower was now a collection of criss crossing wooden blocks. I thought again of those wooden waffles as I watched it wobble. Yet the tower still stood defiant and half tall. The same could not be said about Nicole who was now naked and dripping on the couch. Panting shakily with every wobble of the blocks.

I looked towards the tray with the discarded blocks and an idea struck me.

Without a word, I pushed what was left of the tower towards the tray.

Clack clack clop clop clack

There was a long whine. Nicole’s entire body shuddered, eyes rolling back to their whites. Her gaze going unfocused in the afterglow.

“Very good, my doll.” Her breathing calmed. “Now, let’s start building you back up.”

I picked up a block from the tray. “This piece holds all the ideas of wanting to be a good doll for Master...”