There’s only one other person in the waiting room: a guy sitting by the door reading a paperback. He looks pretty chill, I wonder what he’s here for. Otherwise, it’s just us. The white noise machine buzzing in the corner and Lucas’s hand on mine, squeezing occasionally.

When the voice from the desk calls my name it’s almost a relief from the waiting. Almost.

“Mickey, Good to see you again, how are you? Alright, so you’re here for something different today! Now as I said on the phone, Dr. Lawrence is out of town this week, so you’ll be seeing—” she glanced at the screen “Mmh, ok. You’ll like Dr. Delaney. He’s new to our practice, but he’s very good.”

I hear another voice behind her and she swivels to respond, then turns back to me.

“Looks like he just finished up. Well, I’ll let him take it from here.”

The doctor opens the door next to the reception window and motions for us to follow. “Good morning, come on back with me. End of this hall on the left.” The exam room has its own white noise machine running outside the door. Inside is the exam table with a paper sheet on it, next to an array of monitors on a wheeled stand. The doctor follows us into the room and shuts the door behind us. He gives me a firm handshake.

“It’s good to meet you. I’m Dr. Delaney, one of the specialists here, but please, call me Ross. Do you go by Mikayla, or—”

“Mickey. Usually.”

“Well Mickey, I’m so glad you’re here. I’m going to explain everything before we do it today, ok? We want you to be comfortable. But first off, let’s get you changed.” He hands me the gown. Green with little silver squares. “Now I know some people like to bring some comfortable shorts from home, did we mention that? Ok, you have them there, very good.”

Dr. Delaney turns to the counter to prepare something. I try to watch him, but Lucas hands me my bag and nudges me toward to exam table. My eyes keep flicking to Dr. Delaney’s back as I remove my shirt and pull on the gown. Lucas helps with the tie in the back as I unbutton my jeans. I start to slip on my favorite sleep shorts and Lucas stops me.

“Underwear on or off?” he calls to Dr. Delaney.

“Hm? Oh, off I think.” The doctor responds without looking up “Yes, underwear off please.” A fresh flush spreads across my cheeks as the underwear falls to the floor and I rush to replace them with the cotton shorts.

By the time I’m changed and climbing onto the table, he’s already wheeling over an equipment cart. Wires and electrodes. A tube of something. A roll of tape. He holds up the largest item, a rounded white plastic piece with elastic straps.

“Ok Mickey, I’m going to get this headband on you, and all this machine does is send some little non-invasive pulses. It really just, kind of turns a few areas up a bit in your head and a few areas down. And I promise it doesn’t hurt at at all. In fact… well, you’ll see.” He places the plastic piece on my forehead and wraps the strap around my head, gently moving my hair out of the way with his gloved fingers. “Need to make a good connection with the contacts on the band here,” he explains, “There we go, is that too tight?”

“It feels ok.”

“Good, that’s good. Now I just need to set a few more contacts here.” He peels off the adhesive backings and places wires at my cheekbones, one on the back of my neck. “And of course this is just a routine heart monitor.” I flinch as he reaches down the front of my gown, but I hold still. Lucas squeezes my hand.

“There we go. That’s all the sensors, and it looks like the contact is pretty good. We’re almost ready to start, but first I just need to get a good baseline.”

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“We just need to get you, hmm, warmed a bit so I see what we’re working with. The better of a signature I can read now, the more targeted I can be.” He’s taking off his gloves and dropping them in the bin by the door. “I’ll step out for a moment,” he tells Lucas. Now he and I are alone, but I can’t quite look at him. He squeezes my hand.

“I know you’re scared, baby,” he tells me softly, “but you’re gonna feel so good in oh, 40 minutes. Trust me.”

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“I really think you’ll like this, baby. Remember what we talked about? Remember thinking about how good it feels when all you can think about is your wet hole and getting touched, and pleasing me? And how being good takes up just all the space in that little head. Don’t you want to know what it’s like to feel that all the time? Be my perfect little toy? Wet and waiting for me? Up for anything?”

This is how he convinced me two days ago. Tuesday night, and now I’m here. I thought I’d have longer. It’s all I can do to stop my hips moving outright, but I know he can still see his words taking hold of me again.

“Yes, sir. I do want that, but…”

“But what sweetie?”

“What if it’s too much?”

“They know what they’re doing, they only go as far as it takes to get the target response. You’re in good hands here.”

“That form said there could be permanent effects!”

“Not from just one treatment. That’s if you come back over and over.”

“I don’t want to do more than one, ok? Promise”

“Just one. Just to see if you like it.”

I nod.

“And I think you really will like it. You know how I know? It’s because I know you’re scared right now, but I also know your hole is wet. No, hey, look at me. Is your hole wet?”

I whimper and rub my thighs together. “Yes sir, my hole is wet.”

“That’s right baby, your hole is wet thinking about doing this for me. Thinking what a better toy you’ll be for me—”

He’s interrupted by the knock at the door. “Come on in,” Lucas calls, and when the doctor opens the door he adds, “I’d say they’re pretty well warmed up.”

“Yes indeed!” Dr. Delaney chuckles, returning to the monitors. “Good, that’s a strong reading.” I crane my neck to try to see what’s on the screen, but it all just looks like squiggly lines. He switches between a few tabs and he must be happy with what he’s seeing because he tells Lucas, “Thank you, we’ll give you a call when they’re all finished.”

I freeze. “Wait, you’re not staying?”

“It’s ok,” he tells me, “I know you can do this. Be good for Dr. Delaney.”

I nod.

“Mickey, look at me. Be good for Dr. Delaney?”

“Yes sir, I’ll be good for him.”

“That’s my toy.” He kisses me, squeezes my hand one more time, and he’s gone.

“Ready to get started?” The doctor asks.

Deep breath. “Yes, sir, I’m ready.”

He holds up some kind of plastic controller for me to see. Ergonomic grip on the side and a red button on top. “Now when I press this button, it’ll send those little pulses. Just a bit at a time. It’s safety-limited not to send too much, how does that sound?”

I shift on the table, but I can’t find my way to an answer. I don’t take my eyes off his finger resting on that button.

“Hmmm, ok, I tell you what. I don’t normally do this, but I see you’re having some trouble, so I’m going to let you hold this.” He presses the controller into my trembling hand. “You’re in the driver’s seat, ok, Mickey? What do you think?”

“Thank you, sir.” I manage.

“Good. Now just give that button a quick tap for me to get us started. A little quick tap.”

Seconds tick by. The white noise machine buzzing, I feel Dr. Delaney’s eyes on me. I imagine Lucas is still next to me. I want to be good for you, I tell him.

The first tap rushes through me before I can tell what it is. An unidentified jolt fading to a soft sort of hum under the metal contacts on my scalp.

“That’s good. How do you feel?”

“I’m, I’m not sure. Tingly, a little?”

“Anything else?”

“Um, no, I’m not sure.”

“That’s fine. Give me another tap, then. Just a little longer, now.”

This time the rush draws a gasp from me and when it fades I feel it settle lower down.

“Yes, That’s a nice peak there.” He’s looking at the monitors again. “What do you feel now?”

“It feels,” I try to find the words, “well, I guess don’t know if I’m feeling it, or imagining it.”

He nods, and waits for me to continue

“It feels… I feel a little,” be good for Dr. Delaney… “I feel a little something around my clit. And around my hole.”

The softest chuckle. “Well, that didn’t take long.” He finally turns back toward me and gestures to the remote.

I hesitate. The buzz in my clit. The buzz of the sound machine. My finger resting on the button. When curiosity takes over, and I press long enough to really feel it.

There’s pleasure in it this time, unmistakable. Starting in my head and sweeping down my spine, settling already around my hole before I’d even released the button. I struggle to catch my breath, and I almost go back for another hit. I almost throw the remote across the room. Dr. Delaney is speaking, maybe to himself. “Ok, yeah, I like to see that…” When he turns to me, I know what the question will be.

“How did that one feel?”

I can’t help seeing myself from his eyes: flushed, wide-eyed. Legs spread. I squeeze my eyes shut. “It felt really good this time.”

“It’s ok to feel good, Mickey.” I look up and he’s smiling warmly. He rests a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It’s ok for it to feel good.”

A moment later his hand is reaching under the gown and I start to rise, pulling my legs shut. His other hand on my should presses me back down. “Steady there, I just need to check your progress.”

His gloved finger finds its way between my clenched thighs and taps up and down over my slit through the thin fabric.

“But, sir! Only my owner is supposed to—”

“I know, I know. He told me he doesn’t usually like to share. But we agreed as part of your treatment that I do need access. Hmm, yeah ok, good signal,” he was looking at the monitors again, as the finger danced over my clit.

“He agreed? But he didn’t tell me…”

He looks back at me but keeps up rubbing my clit through the soaked cotton.

I try to sit up again. “He didn’t tell me you’d touch me like this!”

“He told you to be good for me,” he reminded me

Tears sting the corners of my eyes. “He didn’t tell me you’d touch me like this!”

“He told you to be good for me, and now I’m telling you press that button again, now.”

“I can’t, I can’t. I don’t want to press it. I don’t want to feel it.”

“Press the button, and let yourself feel good. You know that Lucas wants you to feel good like this?”

“I know…”

“That’s why he brought you here, so you can feel good all over, with no distractions.”

“His perfect toy,” I say softly.

“That’s right, his perfect toy. Are you ready to show me you can be good?”

I brace myself and tap the button once. Quick like the first time. Still pleasure, but somehow softer.

“That’s right. Another one.” Another softer rush, more glow than buzz. “There we go, feel a little better?” I nod, becoming aware of the tears on my cheeks.

“I adjusted your levels a bit to help you calm down. You’re responding quite well you know. You just needed a little adjustment.” His gloved hand finds the waistband of my shorts and slips down to tease the entrance of my hole. “Another press, and hold it down for me.” As I press, his fingers slip into my hole and move in and out as I press and press and push my hips into it and press and—

“And release. Thank you.” He was standing to the side of the bed now, “That’s a very strong response. I think we might be nearly done for today, but we can do a few more small presses, if you want.”

“Yeah! Yeah, I, aaahh.” Each little rush runs through me. Each little glow. “It’s nice, uuuh…” I work my hips back and forth until the seam of my shorts teases into my slit. Grinding, rushing, glowing.

“And I think that’s enough for today.” I whine and try to get the remote back, but he’s already placed somewhere out of my view. Instead, I just look up at him. Buzzing, glowing, wanting. “Don’t want to overload you if I let you have too much on your first treatment,” he tells me. “Understand? That’s good.”

He’s taking off the headband, peeling off the stickers with the wires. He helps me back into my t-shirt and lets me lean on him as he takes me back down the hall. He smells really nice.

“Here we are! How steady are you, can you stand on your own? Ah, little wobbly, there you got it.”

He waits with me until the waiting room door opens and then Lucas’s arms are around me and I’m melting into him.

“They had a very strong response,” the doctor is telling Lucas, “They took to it really naturally, as you can see. Once they reach their new baseline, I’d say you’re looking at a few weeks, maybe more like a month of the target effects.”

“Mhm, that’s very good to hear!”

“I don’t anticipate any problems, but there’s always a few patients who have a little trouble adjusting after this treatment. If they’re getting distressed at all the next couple days, don’t hesitate to come back. We’ll get things sorted out.”

“Trouble?” I ask.

“Nothing to worry about.” Dr. Delaney tells me. “Just remember not to push yourself too much, ok? You shouldn’t have any trouble tonight, but tomorrow if you find you’re really pushing to try to think and focus too hard, just remember it’s ok to feel good. It’s ok that your brain isn’t working the way it used to, just let it feel good. And remember Lucas here knows what’s best for you. Understand?”

“Yeah. Let it feel good.”

“Exactly. And Lucas knows what’s best for you.”

I nod my head into Lucas’s chest and his hand comes up to cradle my cheek. I try to take his thumb into my mouth and he pulls it away with a laugh.

“Not here sweetie! Let’s get you home first. I got you a soda in the car then we’ll get you home and I can give you what you need, how’s that sound?”

“Just a few things before you leave!” comes the voice at the desk. “Ok to use the card you have on file? Mmhmm, okay, so next appointment in two weeks… that brings us to Sept 17. How’s 11:00 am? Perfect, I will see you both then. Drive safe!”

“It was so very nice to meet you, Mickey!” The doctor’s voice. His hand on my shoulder again.

“Tell the doctor thank you for treating you so good,” Lucas prompts me.

I reach my head around and kiss the top of the doctor’s hand. “Thank you, Dr. Delaney. Thank you for making me feel good.”