Her Voice
Forbidden Thoughts
by goodbot
Tags:
#consensual_kink
#f/f
#friends_to_lovers
#transgender_characters
#comic_book
#orientation_change
#romance
See spoiler tags :
#pluralityOlivia is being weird about all this.
Being experimented on, being told what to do and put into strange mental states, is uncomfortably close to her kinks. She can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. She’s still straight, and whatever she was feeling when Alison messed with her head wasn’t sexual, but now that she knows the feeling of being mind-controlled first-hand, she can imagine what it would be like if it was sexual.
As she fails to fall asleep that night, her thoughts drift to a horny fantasy. She pictures an attractive man – not much like Alison’s pre-transition self, she was kinda cute as a boy but never had the kind of confident masculinity of the doms Olivia fantasizes about – a man talking to her in the voice, making her do and feel whatever he wants. Programming her into a mindless pet or obedient drone. Rearranging her every thought and feeling with his words.
A voice in the back of her head interrupts her: ‘Fantasizing about a man with Alison’s power is way too close to fantasizing about Alison as a man, and that’s FORBIDDEN.’
That part of her is right, she doesn’t want to be thinking this way. She respects Alison as a woman. She’s her best friend. She definitely doesn’t want to risk digging up old feelings about a boyfriend who never really existed.
Out of curiosity, she tries to imagine Alison in that same kind of fantasy. Alison using the voice on her, reprogramming her, using her for her own pleasure… and it doesn’t do the same things to her. Having Alison playing with her head was fascinating, but it’s never going to light up the weird irrational part of her brain where her hypno kink lives.
She thinks back to when they broke up. When Alison came out to her, Olivia had wished they could make their relationship work. In every other way Alison is exactly her type: smart, caring, cute (even cuter now that she’s herself), and driven to make the world a better place. And she loved Alison so much, in the overenthusiastic way of a high-school girl in her first relationship. She still loves her as a friend. But just knowing that Alison was a girl, even before she changed her look and got on hormones, was enough to turn off Olivia’s sexuality.
She never told Alison this, but after they broke up Olivia tried something called bihacking. She tried to train herself to notice when women looked attractive. She tried masturbating to pictures of women, cis and trans. She tried arguing with her brain about how being bisexual is just objectively better.
It didn’t work; whatever switch in Olivia’s brain makes her only aroused by guys remained unmoved. At best she could kind of aesthetically appreciate women, and she developed a sense of what a Counterfactual Bisexual Olivia would be into. The real Olivia is jealous; Counterfactual Bisexual Olivia is doing great. She gets to date her best friend. She gets to live with her girlfriend. She even gets to live out her kink because of Alison’s superpower.
‘Oh.’
Being experimented on, being told what to do and put into strange mental states, is uncomfortably close to her kinks. She can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. She’s still straight, and whatever she was feeling when Alison messed with her head wasn’t sexual, but now that she knows the feeling of being mind-controlled first-hand, she can imagine what it would be like if it was sexual.
As she fails to fall asleep that night, her thoughts drift to a horny fantasy. She pictures an attractive man – not much like Alison’s pre-transition self, she was kinda cute as a boy but never had the kind of confident masculinity of the doms Olivia fantasizes about – a man talking to her in the voice, making her do and feel whatever he wants. Programming her into a mindless pet or obedient drone. Rearranging her every thought and feeling with his words.
A voice in the back of her head interrupts her: ‘Fantasizing about a man with Alison’s power is way too close to fantasizing about Alison as a man, and that’s FORBIDDEN.’
That part of her is right, she doesn’t want to be thinking this way. She respects Alison as a woman. She’s her best friend. She definitely doesn’t want to risk digging up old feelings about a boyfriend who never really existed.
Out of curiosity, she tries to imagine Alison in that same kind of fantasy. Alison using the voice on her, reprogramming her, using her for her own pleasure… and it doesn’t do the same things to her. Having Alison playing with her head was fascinating, but it’s never going to light up the weird irrational part of her brain where her hypno kink lives.
She thinks back to when they broke up. When Alison came out to her, Olivia had wished they could make their relationship work. In every other way Alison is exactly her type: smart, caring, cute (even cuter now that she’s herself), and driven to make the world a better place. And she loved Alison so much, in the overenthusiastic way of a high-school girl in her first relationship. She still loves her as a friend. But just knowing that Alison was a girl, even before she changed her look and got on hormones, was enough to turn off Olivia’s sexuality.
She never told Alison this, but after they broke up Olivia tried something called bihacking. She tried to train herself to notice when women looked attractive. She tried masturbating to pictures of women, cis and trans. She tried arguing with her brain about how being bisexual is just objectively better.
It didn’t work; whatever switch in Olivia’s brain makes her only aroused by guys remained unmoved. At best she could kind of aesthetically appreciate women, and she developed a sense of what a Counterfactual Bisexual Olivia would be into. The real Olivia is jealous; Counterfactual Bisexual Olivia is doing great. She gets to date her best friend. She gets to live with her girlfriend. She even gets to live out her kink because of Alison’s superpower.
‘Oh.’