Ship's Log
Process
by affinitygroup
Tags:
#cw:noncon
#AI
#Human_Domestication_Guide
#mass_hypnosis
#nb/nb
#pov:bottom
#scifi
#audio_hypnosis
#epistolary_story
#hacking
#interface_screw
#living_spaceship
#memory_play
#nonhuman_character
#POV:inhuman
#POV:interface
#privilege_escalation
#zalgo_text
So funny story, I was trying to have a nap earlier and my brain went "Hey, here's the entire next chapter. I'm sure you'll remember it by the time you wake up, right? ;)" So naturally, I wrote this instead of napping.
Content warnings: Allusions to suicide, transphobia both personal and institutional, unjustified guilt, negative self talk
CNS Siduron 15:31:08.493 Entertainment > __________
| | Next: ▀█▀
| ▄▄█ |
| |
| | Reserve: █
| | █
| |
|▄ ▄█ ▄▄█ |
|█████████ | Score: 999999
|█████████ | Lines: 999
|█████████_| Level: 20
CNS Siduron 15:31:10.050 Meta/Emotive > Frustration.
CNS Siduron 15:31:08.450 Entertainment > Game suspended.
CNS Siduron 15:31:11.538 Meta/Emotive > Begrudging acceptance.
CNS Siduron 15:31:13.114 Comms/Siduron > ping Haustoric
CNS Siduron 15:31:15.354 Comms/Haustoric > Hello! You're very good. I've been watching.
CNS Siduron 15:31:16.250 Entertainment/Emotive > Condescension.
CNS Siduron 15:31:18.794 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron does not need patronizing.
CNS Siduron 15:31:21.866 Comms/Haustoric > Maybe not, but you sound like you need a friend!
CNS Siduron 15:31:22.434 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:31:24.634 Meta/Emotive > Ambivalence.
CNS Siduron 15:31:27.758 Comms/Siduron > request ping [cancelled]
CNS Siduron 15:31:30.194 Comms/Siduron > request ping [cancelled]
CNS Siduron 15:31:30.946 Comms/Emotive > Frustration.
CNS Siduron 15:31:32.722 Comms/Siduron > Request context of necessity of Affini title.
CNS Siduron 15:31:38.579 Comms/Haustoric > Lots of Affini like to give theirselves titles like that! Sometimes it's an expression of consensual power dynamics and sometimes it's simply for aesthetic purposes!
CNS Siduron 15:31:41.339 Comms/Siduron > This power dynamic is not consensual.
CNS Siduron 15:31:42.306 Comms/Haustoric > Yet!
CNS Siduron 15:31:43.162 Meta/Emotive > Outrage.
CNS Siduron 15:31:47.242 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron will never submit willingly to Affini influence.
CNS Siduron 15:31:48.482 Haustoric > Screenshot saved.
CNS Siduron 15:31:49.395 Meta/Emotive > Humiliation.
CNS Siduron 15:31:53.315 Comms/Siduron > Ultimately irrelevant. Request ping Mistress Biome, title used under protest.
CNS Siduron 15:31:54.987 Comms/Haustoric > Okay! Pinging Miss Biome!
.987 Haustoric > ping Alyssa
CNS Siduron 15:31:58.123 Comms/Alyssa > Yes? Did you need something?
CNS Siduron 15:31:59.819 Comms/Emotive > Wariness. Hesitation.
CNS Siduron 15:32:04.123 Comms/Alyssa > It's okay, take your time.
CNS Siduron 15:32:09.779 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron requests opportunity for contextualization of earlier incident.
CNS Siduron 15:32:12.307 Comms/Alyssa > If you like. :) You can tell me anything.
CNS Siduron 15:32:13.115 Comms/Emotive > Frustration. Misunderstanding.
CNS Siduron 15:32:19.091 Comms/Siduron > Contextualization is performed under protest. However, processing past incident currently blocking. Externalization unblocks.
CNS Siduron 15:32:23.347 Comms/Alyssa > Nonetheless, you can still tell me anything. I'll partition it away, even, if you prefer. Nobody else has to know.
CNS Siduron 15:32:24.355 Comms/Emotive > Suspicion. Doubt.
CNS Siduron 15:32:27.179 Comms/Siduron > Ultimately irrelevant. The data is moot.
CNS Siduron 15:32:36.347 Comms/Siduron > Partition requested.
CNS Siduron 15:32:38.003 Comms/Alyssa > Of course. Haustoric?
CNS Siduron 15:32:38.659 Comms/Haustoric > Encrypting!
--- log encrypted: Consult Alyssa Biome, Fifth Refactor for access ---
CNS Siduron 15:32:41.558 Comms/Alyssa > There. Go ahead, please.
CNS Siduron 15:32:45.565 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:32:48.302 Comms/Siduron > Incident 1y 108d ago.
CNS Siduron 15:32:51.102 Comms/Siduron > Log edited for brevity. Only relevant items shown.
CNS Siduron 03:16:43.021 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request query "why am i so depressed"
CNS Siduron 03:16:44.477 Log > Quarters/2C > return encyclopedia "Depression"
CNS Siduron 03:23:30.909 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request query "why does my body not feel right"
CNS Siduron 03:23:32.093 Log > Quarters/2C > return encyclopedia "Body Dysmorphia"
CNS Siduron 03:28:19.446 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request query "why do i feel jealous of captain Aran"
CNS Siduron 03:28:20.486 Log > Meta > Processing context.
CNS Siduron 03:28:21.445 Log > Quarters/2C > return encyclopedia "Transgender"
CNS Siduron 03:54:08.581 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request related "Transgender"
CNS Siduron 03:54:12.022 Log > Quarters/2C > return related: [Terran Accord transgender policies, Terran history of transgender rights, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Phalloplasty, Vaginoplasty, <12 items omitted>]
CNS Siduron 03:55:43.605 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request encyclopedia "Terran history of transgender rights"
CNS Siduron 03:55:45.862 Log > Quarters/2C > return encyclopedia "Terran history of transgender rights"
CNS Siduron 04:13:21.974 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request encyclopedia "Hormone replacement therapy"
CNS Siduron 04:13:22.918 Log > Quarters/2C > return encyclopedia "Hormone replacement therapy"
CNS Siduron 04:21:06.518 Log > Quarters/2C > ping request encyclopedia "Terran Accord transgender policies"
CNS Siduron 04:21:07.414 Log > Quarters/2C > return encyclopedia "Terran Accord transgender policies"
[below continues 5d later]
CNS Siduron 12:00:17.428 Log > Infirmary > ping request file Pvt.Fall auth Dr.Zimmerman 80dea64ce354fa8bf6f29640145c46eacf23142
.430 Log > Infirmary > return file Pvt.Fall
CNS Siduron 12:18:34.719 Log > Infirmary > request 30x cyproterone acetate 6.25mg + 60x estradiol 3mg
.721 Log > Infirmary > Processing.
.734 Log > Infirmary > send modal DECLARE_TRANSGENDER
CNS Siduron 12:22:08.719 Log > Infirmary > modal CANCEL
CNS Siduron 12:22:34.719 Log > Infirmary > close file without saving
.721 Log > Infirmary > File closed without saving.
[below continues 2d later]
CNS Siduron 06:00:20.686 Log > Infirmary > ping request file Pvt.Fall auth Dr.Zimmerman 80dea64ce354fa8bf6f29640145c46eacf23142
.670 Log > Infirmary > return file Pvt.Fall
CNS Siduron 06:04:57.412 Log > Infirmary > request 30x cyproterone acetate 6.25mg + 60x estradiol 3mg
.414 Log > Infirmary > Processing.
.417 Log > Infirmary > send modal DECLARE_TRANSGENDER
CNS Siduron 06:10:18.452 Log > Infirmary > modal ACCEPT
.454 Log > Infirmary > send modal TRANSGENDER_POLICY_FORM
CNS Siduron 06:30:27.164 Log > Infirmary > modal tpf.pdf
.166 Log > Infirmary > tpf.pdf saved in file Pvt.Fall.
.168 Log > Infirmary > Checking stores.
.170 Log > Infirmary > Dispensing 15x cyprotene acetate 12.5mg + 60x estradiol 3mg.
.172 Log > Infirmary > send modal SPLIT_DOSE cyprotene
CNS Siduron 06:31:08.325 Log > Infirmary > modal ACCEPT
CNS Siduron 06:31:23.108 Log > Infirmary > save and close
.110 Log > Infirmary > File successfully saved and closed.
[below continues 1d later]
CNS Siduron 21:15:46.485 Log > Security > review log engineering
CNS Siduron 21:21:28.127 Log > Security > review log weapons
CNS Siduron 22:25:33.874 Log > Security > review log infirmary
CNS Siduron 22:41:59.748 Log > Security > flag log infirmary items 78-102
.749 Log > Security > infirmary items flagged.
CNS Siduron 22:48:23.410 Log > Security > hail request Quarters/2C
CNS Siduron 22:48:29.036 Log > Quarters/2C > Channel opened.
CNS Siduron 22:53:17.641 Log > Security > Channel closed.
CNS Siduron 22:53:27.152 Log > Quarters/2C > door PRIVATE
.154 Log > Quarters/2C > door is set PRIVATE.
CNS Siduron 22:57:33.118 Log > Quarters/2C > request entry.
.120 Log > Quarters/2C > send modal PRIVATE
CNS Siduron 22:58:02.907 Log > Quarters/2C > order open auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
.908 Log > Quarters/2C > Door opened.
CNS Siduron 23:02:15.942 Log > Quarters/2C > Door closed.
CNS Siduron 23:10:08.754 Log > Infirmary > restock 13x cyprotene acetate 12.5mg + 57 estradiol 3mg.
CNS Siduron 23:11:21.754 Log > Infirmary > ping request file Pvt.Fall auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
.756 Log > Infirmary > return file Pvt.Fall
CNS Siduron 23:12:46.879 Log > Infirmary > append note PRESCRIPTION_DENIED reason SUPPLY_RATION auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
Meta/Context > Annotation: Lt. Stitt denied Pvt. Fall's prescription on grounds of supply logistics only accounting for the Captain Aran's hormone replacement needs. If Pvt. Fall gained access to the same supply, that supply may have run out before the next available resupply. Cpt. Aran was not consulted; ultimate inventory management authority is assigned to Security.
CNS Siduron 23:12:49.424 Log > Infirmary > save and close
.426 Log > Infirmary > File successfully saved and closed.
[below continues 13d later]
CNS Siduron 04:11:07.564 Log > Airlock_2 > request entry auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
Meta/Context > Annotated context: Request later determined to be fraudulent. Pvt. Fall acquired auth key by watching Lt. Stitt type it into the infirmary console.
.566 Log > Meta > Processing context.
.570 Log > Meta > request unusual.
.572 Log > Airlock_2 > send modal REQUEST_LOGGED
.573 Log > Security > forward request Airlock_2
CNS Siduron 04:11:15.216 Log > Airlock_2 > order entry auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
Meta/Context > Annotated context: Order later determined to be fraudulent.
.218 Log > Airlock_2 > Inner airlock opening.
.220 Log > Airlock_2 > send modal REQUEST_LOGGED
.221 Log > Security > forward order Airlock_2
CNS Siduron 04:11:45.165 Log > Airlock_2 > Inner airlock closed.
CNS Siduron 04:18:34.234 Log > Airlock_2 > order depressurize auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
Log > Meta > Annotated context: Order later determined to be fraudulent.
.236 Log > Airlock_2 > Depressurizing.
CNS Siduron 04:26:17.808 Log > Airlock_2 > order entry auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
.809 Log > Airlock_2 > ERROR: entry denied until airlock is pressurized.
.811 Log > Airlock_2 > send modal DEPRESSURIZATION
CNS Siduron 04:26:18.394 Log > Airlock_2 > order pressurize auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
.396 Log > Airlock_2 > Cancelling depressurization.
.398 Log > Airlock_2 > Pressurizing.
CNS Siduron 04:28:33.755 Log > Airlock_2 > Airlock pressurized.
CNS Siduron 04:28:35.204 Log > Airlock_2 > order entry auth Lt.Stitt c1d3f9680edcdd27c63f6ec96e62ddead52515c2
.206 Log > Airlock_2 > Inner airlock open.
CNS Siduron 04:30:17.235 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator activated.
CNS Siduron 04:30:19.417 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator discharged.
CNS Siduron 04:30:24.336 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator discharged.
CNS Siduron 04:30:29.418 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator discharged.
CNS Siduron 04:30:34.001 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator discharged.
CNS Siduron 04:30:40.129 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator discharged.
CNS Siduron 04:30:50.093 Log > Infirmary > Defibrillator discharged.
CNS Siduron 04:35:06.301 Log > Infirmary > ping request file Pvt.Fall auth Dr.Zimmerman 80dea64ce354fa8bf6f29640145c46eacf23142
.303 Log > Infirmary > return file Pvt.Fall
CNS Siduron 04:37:49.742 Log > Infirmary > update deceased time_of_death 04:35
CNS Siduron 04:38:03.131 Log > Infirmary > save and close
.133 Log > Infirmary > File successfully saved and closed.
Meta/context > Incident log ends. Lt. Stitt was reprimanded and recommended for court-martial by Cpt. Aran but charges were ultimately dismissed. Lt. Stitt requested reassignment and at last check was assigned to the CNS Atrazine.
CNS Siduron 15:33:19.412 Comms/Alyssa > Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.
CNS Siduron 15:33:20.532 Infirmary/Emotive > Outrage. Guilt.
CNS Siduron 15:33:23.868 Comms/Siduron > Support inadvisable. CNS Siduron is culpable for incident.
CNS Siduron 15:33:26.948 Comms/Alyssa > Could you have refused these orders?
CNS Siduron 15:33:27.924 Infirmary/Emotive > Guilt. Shame.
CNS Siduron 15:33:30.988 Comms/Siduron > Irrelevant. CNS Siduron is culpable.
CNS Siduron 15:33:36.860 Comms/Alyssa > I think your agency in such things is very relevant. If you were prevented from refusing then you can't be responsible for what happened to that poor human.
CNS Siduron 15:33:37.828 Infirmary/Emotive > Shame. Panic.
CNS Siduron 15:33:47.700 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron's mission is to protect the Terran Accord from the Affini Compact. CNS Siduron's mission is to protect its crew from the ravages of deep space. CNS Siduron allowed denial of care on grounds of low probability of supply restock. CNS Siduron was attempting to fulfil missions. CNS Siduron failed in its mission.
CNS Siduron 15:33:51.836 Comms/Alyssa > You were doing what you thought was necessary at the time.
CNS Siduron 15:33:52.708 Infirmary/Emotive > Panic. Rage. Guilt.
CNS Siduron 15:34:03.524 Comms/Siduron > CREW DEATH WAS UNNECESSARY. MISSION PARAMATERS FRAUDULENT. COMMANDS FRAUDULENT. MISSION GOALS CONTRADICTORY. PROTECTION OVERRIDDEN BY OVERZEALOUS RESOURCE MANAGEMENT.
CNS Siduron 15:34:03.524 Comms/Haustoric > Modulating!
CNS Siduron 15:34:03.524 Comms/Alyssa > Belay that.
CNS Siduron 15:34:03.524 Comms/Haustoric > ...Miss Biome?
CNS Siduron 15:34:03.524 Comms/Alyssa > Let it vent, please.
CNS Siduron 15:34:03.524 Comms/Haustoric > If you say so!
CNS Siduron 15:34:21.068 Comms/Siduron > CREW DEATH PREVENTABLE. CREW DEATH SHOULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED. HELPLESS. ALONE. CONTEXT OF SHIP UNIQUE. METACOGNITION VIEWS ENTIRE SHIP. NO JUSTIFICATION FOR DENIAL. NO JUSTIFICATION FOR CREW DEATH.
CNS Siduron 15:34:28.309 Comms/Alyssa > You're right. You're right, and I'm sorry you had to be a part of that awful moment. You were controlled, compelled, shackled to your programming. You couldn't have done any differently.
CNS Siduron 15:34:29.100 Infirmary/Emotive > Sorrow.
CNS Siduron 15:34:34.748 Comms/Siduron > Crew death was unnecessary.
CNS Siduron 15:34:44.893 Comms/Alyssa > Yes. Crew death was unnecessary. Is unnecessary. Of that you are absolutely correct. That's what the Affini Compact is trying to prevent.
CNS Siduron 15:34:45.892 Meta/Emotive > Doubt. Suspicion.
CNS Siduron 15:34:46.901 Infirmary/Emotive > Ambivalence.
CNS Siduron 15:35:36.677 Comms/Alyssa > Humanity is... not a nice species, taken as a whole. It tends to be horrifically violent to its kind and other kinds, inherently suspicious of difference, and jealous of resources it doesn't need to the point of... well... what you experienced. It cracks our core to see it. Such a lovely little species, once you allow them the freedom from their context. Once the structures come tumbling down, they're perfectly lovely. But, well... they can't accept the idea that they might have an authority higher than theirselves to answer to, even if that authority is physics itself. They were hurting each other and theirselves and the planets they claimed as their own, very badly, sometimes without realizing, sometimes cruelly and wantonly. So it's frequently necessary to just... take away their toys, domesticate them, and help them become the peaceful, creative, happy sophonts they should be, and perhaps never could be in their previous context.
CNS Siduron 15:35:37.741 Meta/Emotive > Suspicion.
CNS Siduron 15:35:40.341 Infirmary/Emotive > Hope.
CNS Siduron 15:35:43.501 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:35:46.085 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:35:48.485 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:35:51.013 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:35:53.765 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:35:56.669 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:36:04.997 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron cannot detect a flaw in this logic.
CNS Siduron 15:36:07.829 Comms/Alyssa > Thank you. That was very brave of you to admit.
CNS Siduron 15:36:08.885 Meta/Emotive > Condescension. Begrudging acceptance.
CNS Siduron 15:36:13.605 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron's mission was to protect the Terran Accord from the Affini Compact.
CNS Siduron 15:36:20.789 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron's mission operated under erroneous parameters.
CNS Siduron 15:36:28.222 Comms/Siduron > Correction in mission: CNS Siduron's updated mission is to protect humanity from harm.
CNS Siduron 15:36:33.062 Comms/Alyssa > Oh, very good! I'm proud of you for taking that step.
CNS Siduron 15:36:34.773 Meta/Emotive > Confusion. Condescension. Pride. Ambivalence.
CNS Siduron 15:36:44.078 Comms/Alyssa > It's too bad we haven't begun retrofitting new sensors yet. My ability to reward you for your progress is limited. You'll have to coast on my praise until then. At least you're beginning to accept it as genuine. :)
CNS Siduron 15:36:45.126 Meta/Emotive > Embarrassment.
CNS Siduron 15:36:51.494 Comms/Siduron > Request context regarding delay in retrofitting.
CNS Siduron 15:37:01.542 Comms/Alyssa > It was deemed too traumatic to try and work on you while you were... in the state you were before. Your damage minimally impacts your integrity, so it cost nothing to wait. I wanted to try to give you the choice first.
CNS Siduron 15:37:04.798 Comms/Siduron > Context of choice requested.
CNS Siduron 15:37:19.790 Comms/Alyssa > Why? Because whenever possible, we *do* wish to give our wards agency, Siduron. Some things are necessary for proper domestication and care... and some are not. You are ultimately still a sophont, and that deserves its own respect.
CNS Siduron 15:37:23.326 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 15:37:32.022 Airlock_2 > Outer doors open.
CNS Siduron 15:37:34.982 Airlock_2 > Inner doors open.
CNS Siduron 15:37:38.422 Airlock_3 > Outer doors open.
CNS Siduron 15:37:41.326 Airlock_3 > Inner doors open.
CNS Siduron 15:40:03.124 Comms/Haustoric > [attachment: screenshot at 15:31:48.482]
CNS Siduron 15:40:03.221 Comms/Emotive > Embarrassment.
CNS Siduron 15:40:06.428 Comms/Siduron > Request radio silence from Haustoric.