My Brother's Journal

CW: Incest, NonCon, Gaslighting, ABDL, Hypnosis, Piss, Love Bombing, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation

"That's weird; Big Bro never leaves his computer unlocked."

     You notice your older brother's laptop has been left open. He is such an amazing big brother. Always caring, always there for you, the most accepting of you since you came out. You are truly blessed to have a brother like him.

He is usually so protective of his laptop that you have always been curious about what he does all day. He never talks about his job, but as long as it keeps the roof over your head, you haven't thought to pry.

He has really stepped up since your parents kicked you out when they found out they didn't have their precious little girl. Fortunately, your brother has a place of his own at your university, and living together has been amazing. You now have your own room and a new wardrobe and don't have to work or worry about housing. All you have to do is do some cooking and cleaning, and you are more than happy to chip in and help around the house.

Anyway, between all of his friends you have gotten close to, getting to bond with him, and him teaching you how to be a man, getting kicked out might have been the best thing to ever happen to you!

After getting lost in your thoughts for a few minutes, curiosity gets the better of you. The thoughts of “After all, he won’t be home for the rest of the day. What’s the worst that could happen? As long as I don’t change anything he will never know” fill your mind and before you could think better of it, you are sitting in front of his computer looking at the elusive command line interface that your brother loves.

root@terminal ~ # ls -l

total 6

drwxr-xr-x 2 terminal staff 64 Sep 30 01:58 PM config

drwxr-xr-x 6 terminal staff 192 Sep 30 01:57 PM Documents

drwxr-xr-x 3 terminal staff 96 Sep 30 01:57 PM Downloads

drwxr-xr-x 2 terminal staff 64 Sep 30 01:57 PM Music

drwxr-xr-x 2 terminal staff 64 Sep 30 01:57 PM Pictures

drwxr-xr-x 2 terminal staff 64 Sep 30 01:58 PM work

root@terminal ~ # ls -l Documents

total 2

-rwxr--r-- 1 terminal staff 0 Sep 30 01:57 PM empty-file.txt

drwxr-xr-x 2 terminal staff 64 Sep 30 01:58 PM jnl_brother

-rwxr--r-- 1 terminal staff 238 Sep 30 01:57 PM plan-for-world-domination.txt

root@terminal ~ #

“jnl_brother? What could that be?”

You navigate to the directory and are surprised that it seems like your brother has a series of files labeled “jnl_brother_” followed by a number.

“Might as well start at the beginning. I have always been curious about what he actually thinks of me. Although, him keeping journals about me is flattering, gods I love him so much”

root@terminal ~ # cd Documents

root@terminal Documents # cd jnl_brother

root@terminal jnl_brother # ls

jnl_brother_1 jnl_brother_2 jnl_brother_3 jnl_brother_4 jnl_brother_5 jnl_brother_6 jnl_brother_7

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_1

     Well, my therapist told me to start a journal as soon as she heard that my new little brother would be moving in. Dunno why. Process my emotions or some bullshit. Whatever. So here it is. My attempt to write a journal. This is so stupid, I lived with him as the two of us grew up, and now the only change is that we are older and I got a brother instead of a sister. There's not gonna be much of a change and I already have a spare room all made up. It was really shitty of my parents to kick him out just for coming out. Like it doesn't matter what he identities as, he has always had the fashion sense of a teenage boy so nothing really changed except for his name and pronouns. They didn't give a fuck when I came home with my first boyfriend, I really don't understand how this is any different.

I just hope it won't be too weird. I haven't seen the guy in years. Guess I will see tomorrow.

Whatever that's all for now. Fuck this stupid therapy crap.

root@terminal jnl_brother #

“Aww, I always knew he was an ally, but this is the first time I've heard about him having a boyfriend. It makes sense though. He is so much fun and such a sweet guy. Plus in the few months that I've been living here my entire wardrobe has changed and it's been revolutionary! I don't dress like a teenage boy anymore. I do feel kinda bad about making my brother have to do journaling if he hates it, but I bet it's been really good for him!”

You smile as you think about how cute your new wardrobe is and how sweet and caring your brother has been.

After checking the clock, you have plenty of time to keep on reading. You know that you shouldn't pry further, but curiosity keeps gnawing at you and eventually you give in.

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_2

Okay, week 2 of my journaling (I refuse to call this a diary) and I guess my therapist had a point. It is kind of nice to be able to organize my thoughts.

Anyway, it's been about a week since my brother moved in and seeing him after all this time was certainly a shock. I know he hasn't been on hormones or anything yet, but god damn. He looks like the spitting image of myself at that age. He is kinda cute honestly.

Move-in was nice and smooth, he was able to get situated pretty fast. He even had this grungy trunk of clothes that he must have snuck out full of the most random assortment of “guy clothes” ever. I guess I should take some of the blame for that, I never got to teach him how to not dress like a guy who literally gets no bitches (or bros, I ain't gonna judge). Guess I have a lot of making up for lost time to do.

I'm gonna be the best brother I can!!!

root@terminal jnl_brother #

You remember those early days. You used to be such a clueless boy, trying to ape the styles that you saw in magazines. It was right around that time your big bro started teaching you all the things a big brother should! You will always remember those lessons like: how to shave, how to dress appropriately, deodorant, and most importantly, how brothers are there to help each other no matter what it is and there is nothing stronger than a brotherly bond. You start to beam thinking about how that was only the beginning and now your bond as brothers is stronger than ever before. It's such an amazing feeling of intimacy that you know that you couldn't live without.

“I wonder how much closer the two of us would have been if I had just came out earlier? I wish I had the chance to grow up as brothers with him.”

Your thoughts turned to thinking about the childhood that you could have had, but eventually you crack a grin and resolve to make up for lost time.

Your mind eventually goes back to the journals and you get more and more curious about what they could possibly contain.

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_3

Week 3, so far so good. I've been settling into the new normal. I get up and damn does the kitchen smell amazing. If I knew how amazing having him living here would be, I would have invited him years ago. Ya know, there is nothing more attractive than someone who can cook. I used to eat basically nothing but fast food and takeout, but ever since he moved in I've been enjoying the first good food I've had in ages.

Honestly, I can't say how much better my life has been since he moved in. My place is clean, my belly is full, and I'm never lonely. It's like having a live-in maid.

Heh, I wonder if I could make that happen. As a joke. He would look cute that way.

Anyway, enough of those thoughts. Thank fuck my therapist is never going to read these.

Enough of that nonsense, I would have absolutely no idea how to get an outfit like that anyway.

I... I Think I should end it here.

root@terminal jnl_brother #

“Heh, that was such a fun Halloween. I looked so cute in that outfit. I am amazed that he was able to find a maid outfit on such short notice. It was nice to be getting so much attention, and he was so protective of me. It was genuinely the safest I've felt in public since I came out!”

You still occasionally wear that outfit around the house. Your brother always has the funniest reactions to it. He is so cute when he gets all flustered and blushy. It's always fun to reach into the special corner of the closet. You have amassed quite the collection of clothes that seem to provoke that reaction. They are a smattering of assorted short skirt outfits and suits. You guess that him being pan makes sense in hindsight. It's been wonderful for your self confidence.

“Let's see here. I probably have time for about 3 more journals. Should be able to finish it all tonight! Gotta seize the opportunity, never know when I'll get the chance to read 'em again.”

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_4

It has been a few months since I wrote here, but fuck me! Why does he have to be so damn perfect? He is literally everything that I could have wanted in a person. Super cute, amazing cook, fantastic listener, helpful no matter what! FUCK!!

I shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts. He's my brother for fucks sake. Everything he does drives me crazy! Even his voice is starting to crack and he is getting a little bit of super soft body hair. These thoughts are so wrong, but as long as I never act on them everything is fine. There's no punishment for thought crimes after all.

Ever since that damned Halloween, he has been teasing me by wearing clothing that covers about as much as a tea towel. I am not complaining, but I just wish he understood the impact that he has. I am thinking about getting him some new clothes so I don't have to think about him in those clothes. Plus, if I end up indulging in some of my own interests, as long as he is happy that's all that matters. After all, brothers help each other out ya know?

This is getting long winded and I should probably wrap this up. Tomorrow I can take him shopping, get him some new clothes that suit my interests, and hopefully that's enough to push these thoughts out of my head.

root@terminal jnl_brother #

“Huh, so that's why he bought all of these cute clothes for me. They certainly have become a staple of my daily wardrobe when I don't feel like coordinating an outfit. It's so much easier when I only need to put on a single piece and do the snaps! I guess that shopping trip makes sense now. I am honestly surprised that he would ever think about me like that. Like I am flattered, but it's still surprising. If I'm being honest, I don't hate all the extra affection. Plus I'm smart enough to be able to put a stop to anything if he were to go too far. He loves me too much to ever put me in that kind of situation anyway.

Being called amazing, helpful and cute certainly is an ego boost though! I'm going to be riding that high for a while. I would be lying if I said that I have never snuck a peek at my big bro and liked what I saw. Oh well, a guy can dream can't he. Must say that I'm now more curious than ever about what he thinks about me.”

You eagerly crack open the next entry, without a single thought as to the time.

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_5

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you”, Mathew 7:7

As fucking if.

I thought that if I was able to indulge in my fantasy just a little then these feelings would subside. That plan has completely backfired. I must admit that I have been enjoying my little brother more than I could have ever hoped for. He just keeps getting cuter, and son of a bitch I keep wanting to jump his bones more and more. The way he fucking looks at me, calls me “Big Bro”, treats me like his hero. I can bet he wouldn't think so highly of me if he knew the truth about what I am thinking. I feel like such a damn pervert when I picture taking him in my arms and showing him the kind of love that only I can give.

FUCK

This isn't right.

I absolutely shouldn't be thinking about how soft he would be under me. How cute he would be with a look of awe and fear in his eyes. I'm gonna talk about this with my therapist and see if she can help me get rid of these thoughts. Hopefully this is the last journal entry. Maybe I can close this chapter of my life for good.

root@terminal jnl_brother #

“That's… holy cow… I thought I knew how he felt about me…

That he would have those kinds of thoughts about me is certainly unsettling. It also makes me feel a little special if I'm being honest. Like I know I should be repulsed by all this, I AM repulsed by all this. But… why am I not running away, why am I not recoiling in horror.

Instead I feel a weird acceptance? Like I've known this all before???

Also, if he told his therapist about all this, why are there 2 more entries?????

None of this makes sense. I want to… no, I need to know more. Why are all these revelations comforting????”

You open up the penultimate journal, your mind feeling a rage that burns hotter than the sun while your body and heart are filled with a warmth and love that you can't understand the source of.

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_6

Well shit, I didn't expect to be back here so soon. My fucking therapist told me to hit the bricks and this is about the only thing that gave me any sort of clarity. Apparently she “didn't want to deal with some kind of incest freak”. If this is the kind of treatment I can expect for opening up about my secrets, then fuck em all.

I'm gonna start living for myself and make sure that I never get hurt like that again. It's gonna be me and my little brother together forever!

I remember learning a bit ago about hypnosis, and I've been trying it on him for the past few weeks. It's incredible what you can slip into a suggestion, and I am going to try another suggestion to make it so that the two of us can be together forever.

Soon he will be all mine!

Together forever!

root@terminal jnl_brother #

“What the???”

Your mind is recoiling from the sudden reveal. Hypnosis isn't real, and even if it was you would have been smart enough to know that it was happening.

Yes, you are wearing the clothes that he chose for you.

Yes, you feel your knees get a little weak whenever you think about his handsome face.

Yes, the thought of making him happy fills you with all the joy in the world.

But, this is horrifying and furthermore impossible. There's no way you could have your mind re-written like that. To think that what your brother wants to do to you is in any way acceptable.

“Alright, it's time to finish this saga and report him to the police. Or our parents. Or someone! Just gonna finish the last chapter so it becomes the last nail in his coffin!”

Filled with determination, you open up the last entry and are surprised with what you find.

root@terminal jnl_brother # cat jnl_brother_7

Ya know what I absolutely love about my little brother.

His curiosity.

He is endlessly curious about everything.

Even when he isn't supposed to be.

As a reward for your curiosity dear brother, I ask that you simply stay still. Relax. And I can't wait to see you when you wake up.

Sweet dreams baby bro <3

root@terminal jnl_brother #

A sudden stab in your neck jerks your attention to the fact that your big brother standing right behind you.

You suddenly feel faint as your vision begins to fade. The last thing you see is your brother's handsome face smiling and assuring you that everything will be okay.

Cold

That's the overwhelming feeling that comes over you as you begin to come too.

As your eyes slowly begin to open and focus you immediately notice the bars. You seem to be in some kind of modified dig crate. The second thing that you notice is what you're wearing.

You seem to be in a onesie like the kind that your brother bought you. It's black with puppy paw prints in various colours. Except unlike the onesies that you are used to, this one is locked on. Even if it wasn't locked on, the black mittens affixed to your hands would make escape difficult to impossible.

Suddenly, your brother's soft voice rings out, “Oh? Is my sweet baby brother finally awake? I was a little worried about using too much sedative”.

Your head is spinning as a flood of realization sweeps over you.

Your brother has been planning this for so much longer than you thought.

The lights turn on and you recognize the basement of the house. You are in a dog crate like you thought, but in addition to that there seems to be 2 bowls next to a slot in the crate, one filled with food and the other with water. The most troubling part of it is that you can't seem to close your legs all the way.

With a striking realization, you realize that you are wearing a diaper.

“How long does he plan on keeping me in here”, you think to yourself.

As if he could read your mind, your brother says, “I do hope you're comfortable. I love you so much and it is a shame that I have to resort to these methods. At least at first. I know what you are thinking, ‘How could he do such a thing?’ and I want to assure you that I am only doing this because I just love you so much!”

You begin to feel uneasy about the fact that none of this surprises or concerns you.

“B…big bro? Why does this not bother me? I should be freaking out, but I'm… not???”

“Oh my dear sweet baby brother. I have been taking care of you this whole time. Why would anything I do freak you out? I already have complete control over your mind and body, but I do it with love so there's nothing to worry about. Would you like a demonstration, Pet?”

As soon as he said that last word you felt your body start to get on all fours and you sat up like a mutt.

“Very good pet, now I need to relieve myself. So pet, I need you to come here.”

He flicked a latch on the crate and your body started to move of its own volition over towards him.

“Good boy. Now to show you that you belong to me body and soul, I think it's time for me to relieve myself.”

You can only look on in horror as you sit up and open your mouth. Unable to move to resist what you know is coming.

Your brother starts urinating down your throat as tears start to fill your eyes from lack of oxygen. Horror fills your mind as you are unable to move or swallow to get air.

Seeing how desperate and pathetic you look, your big brother grins and says, “Such a beautiful pet, I suppose I should let it breathe… okay, with these next words you will take me inside you and your mind will empty. Just sit back, relax and let your mind flush.”

With that final word, you swallow everything in your mouth finally able to get air. As the hot urine goes down your throat, your mind goes with it.

You finally relax and let all those human thoughts leave you, knowing that you are safe and loved forever in the embrace of your big brother.