One never really knows what the world is like in full, do they? It’s a large place, and no matter how much you think you know… you never truly know what to expect out there in the wide world… but when I saw that photograph in that locket… I couldn’t shake the feeling that the world was far larger than I realized.

HMS Tiresias. For years I have researched the vessel, the one they refer to as lost at sea. The investigation had officially said the ship had sunk after the mutiny, likely crushed by ice. However, could one truly believe that?

It had been witnessed a few times in the northern seas, always seeming to appear in one place on the edge of the horizon before vanishing again when the observer blinked… but now it had appeared off the coast of Juneau, Alaska, and had remained there untouched. Crews had gone aboard to anchor ship and nothing more, so as not to anger me.

Payment to the man with the rowboat willing to take me aboard was swift, and now here we were… in the quiet, cold night with the ship that haunted my nightmares for what felt like my entire life. I knew such a thing wasn’t true, but in these moments of passing, it truly did feel like the truth.

“Be quick.” The American rower said, smoking a cigar. “The weather’s turning.”

“I’ll be back when I’m back.” I responded. I was nothing more than a mere insurance agent, but I had my own investigation to attend to.

“As you wish your highness.” The man said, rolling his eyes.

“Very funny… Odd…” As the boat came close to the ship, I had wondered how I would board such a beauty. However, there was a wooden ladder thrown over the side of the deck, probably left by the anchoring crew.

As we approached the ship the temperature dropped considerably, as if the ship itself was sapping heat from the air… just like the interview. Mermaid magic, as preposterous as it sounded, seemed to like to draw heat from the air, putting it into the water.

“Return in the morning, I shall remain here to my investigation.” I told the American, as I grabbed my briefcase and began to climb up the mysterious and aged ladder.

“If that’s what you want I’ll be here. No point in sitting here with corpses.” He finished, before rowing off into the night

As I stepped over the deck, I stood upon the mysterious ghost ship, HMS Tiresias. My dreams had been realized, ever since I heard that story…

It had been five long years, my dreams tormented me with visions of this ship. Every time I stood by the sea I heard the whispers telling me ‘soon, soon I would be found’, but I told myself it was simply all in my head, that I was letting my obsession get to me.

With the flick of a match, my lantern lit aflame, the night time offering me only so much light to investigate. What had she said all those years ago? A mutiny caused by a curse that changed the captain. He became a mermaid, creature of legend, a gorgeous woman, Queen of All Oceans. An absurd claim on its head.

I had since amassed a research library on the lore of Mermaids in many languages, and activity was centered on the coasts of Britain in cold northern atlantic waters, but they showed up all over the world, seeming to show no concern for distance or any other factor.

“So… the ship never did sink then, as I thought.” I began to walk, lantern lowered so I could see the deck. Old and dried up blood stained the wood, located all over the place. Yet, all I smelled was the sea herself. I was not one for the water, truth be told. I had grown up in the safety of land, where death seemed so much more… predictable. My mother and father had both been lost to sea when I was quite young, striking a fear into my soul. Yet, here I stood aboard a derelict ship in the freezing cold waters off of the American coast to finally put these dreams and obsessions to rest.

My aunt and uncle adopted me, landed gentry who inherited the position my parents held, and they educated me well. I did clerical work for Lloyds and had no real concerns for money or anything else. I was paid well, but it was hollow. It didn’t bring me answers. That photograph was burned into my memory despite only seeing it once, as did Elain’s mysterious disappearance.

“Where did everyone go? A mutiny I understand, but… she spoke of crabs… Women like crabs…” I rubbed my head a bit. “Did they carry the bodies of the crew into the ocean? They had to have…”

I walked down the steps into the lower deck, finding my first bodies. Elain claimed the doctor, Joseph, stabbed two individuals, and I found the first laying with his throat cut out on the gun deck.

“Incorrect. Perhaps some sort of… chivalrous nature. They only take the ones they slayed, leaving behind the bodies of the others…” He looked at the body and grimaced. “Yet here they are, perfectly preserved when if they were anywhere else… they might decay to nothing more than bones.”

I walked into the ransacked captain’s quarters, the window shattered exactly as stated. An old handgun sat neatly on the desk, and slumped in the corner was the highly preserved body of Second Mate Jason Richter. The insides of his head were clearly missing. I couldn’t help but hate how dirtied this place was. Every bit of it covered in dust and blood and ice. It made my skin crawl, but I continued as though I was not being compelled to ensure the place looked nice.

I bent over and looked closer at the body. It was hideous. I remembered Elain claiming to have pulled the trigger herself, after being given the opportunity. The court martial did list the Second Mate as “Executed by firing squad”. A firing squad of one, perhaps. If everything she had said was true… Well, it would be difficult to say I would not have done the same thing in her place.

“Ah, what’s this?” I walked to the old desk and looked at it. My eyes widened in anticipation. “The Captain’s Log? Impossible… she said it was lost. I guess in a way it was.”

I picked it up and flicked through it, it started off rather normal, but became more and more unhinged as it went on, writing about the call of the sea, the changes, the terror, before stopping the day before the mutiny.

Behind the desk I saw the shattered window, the glass having likely been broken outwards. Had this been how the escape occurred? The log did little to fill in the blanks. The end was nigh-incomprehensible to read nor understand. A curse… the captain had likely lost his mind by the end of it all. A suicide? No. That photograph… It was real, was it not? That was the captain, yet it could not have been.

It looked far more like Captain Falcon’s mother than the Captain himself. I had his effects pulled for my investigation. The photo had a distinguished place by his bed in his home.

I sighed loudly as I collected the log into my briefcase and exited the captain’s quarters. Unfortunately for me, there was little I could assess from within that room. Perhaps, I could go where the two had been trapped according to her testimony. During the mutiny, Elain and the captain had been locked up below deck.

If Elain was correct, there should be two bodies remaining. The Mermaid is claimed to have dissolved into a glowing white substance, but the body of the First Officer and a deckhand should be inside and in front of the Lazarette, respectively.

As I descended below deck… I thought I heard something behind me. Quickly, I spun around on my heel and put out my lantern in front of me. No one. Not a single soul here but myself. I could have sworn I heard… Well, I heard a giggling sound from outside the ship, ethereal and beautiful, in chorus. But I must have been losing my mind… No one was out here this late into the night. Especially not here.

I confirmed there was a single body preserved in front of the lazaret. The door and a quick peek inside revealed the second body, looking just like photographs of Shandling before his departure.

“The first officer must have remained loyal to the captain. Otherwise, he would have joined the mutiny as well. A single gunshot wound to the head… died instantly.” I grimaced at this death specifically. His life being taken likely caused the quick downward spiral that caused the ship to fall as it had.

Inside the water though, there was something interesting. The puddle had frozen who knows how long ago… but on top, slightly embedded in the ice, was a softly glowing pearl. It whispered to me, my eyes unable to leave it. It was beautiful glowing there in the night, casting a soft light on the whole room.

“What are you…?” I asked it aloud as I reached over to investigate it. I grabbed the pearl out of the ice, which was more difficult than it seemed. It was almost like… the ice did not want to give me this pearl. Yet, after a few moments of turbulent struggle the small perfectly spherical gem was in my hand. “No one ever mentioned a pearl, now did they?”

More giggling as I felt the pearl sap all the warmth from my exposed hand, and it slowly began to dissolve inside. I gasped as I fell onto the ice, feeling the pearl worm its way through me, sapping warmth as it moved.

It crept up my arm and towards my chest, settling above my sternum where it began to sap the rest of the heat from my body. I felt cold, oh so cold. It was terrible.

“What in the name of…” I grasped it and attempted to do anything. Yet it did not move, it did not budge… as though it had become bone, a part of my sternum.

More giggling from outside. “A new sister for us~ what a fool she is.”

It was real… truly real. I panicked and anxiously made my way to the deck and looked out into the water.

“Who goes there!? Is there somebody out there?!” I yelled, my eyes looking over everything I could see. Water and ice…

Two sets of eyes, one sapphire, one ruby, glowing softly in the night, staring up at me. The forms were obscured by the dark, but they giggled.

“Hello sister~.” They said in unison, almost taunting me.

“Who are you?” I asked again. “What are you doing in the ice? You’ll freeze to death!”

“Oh not us, not us.” Sapphire said.

“The cold is nice to us, it likes our song,” Ruby replied.

“Your song? What… The song… She mentioned that hadn’t she? Back then when she confirmed her testimony to me…”

“If by she you must mean me, your face poking in places I said mortal men musn’t go.” Ruby replied.

“I had to see for myself…!” There was no way that was her. She died! Walked into the ocean and died! Yet here I was arguing with her anyway, as though she was real.

“And we are glad you did; we need a new sister, a new head servant, the last one liked you, you know. Her eyes of Amethyst went dark and she asked for you! So we set up this trap and knew you would come, despite my darling’s warnings.” Sapphire said.

“I had to know! Those years ago I knew that… the photograph could have been a forgery. I needed to know whether or not what I was told was a truth or a fanciful story to fool a foolish man.”

“We will return each night, as you change slowly. You will know what you are, what you are becoming. But for now you must dream! Dream of The Handmaiden. You are important to my darling and I.”

“Dream? No… I never dream.” Then I could feel something in my head. Like a railway iron spiking its way into my head.

It was a lullaby, like the ones my mother sang for me in my youth. A song coming not from without but from within.

I fell against the rail as my brain slowed down, gently falling down against the deck. My mind was lulled to sleep against my will… but the song was oh so beautiful.

I couldn’t breathe.

I was freezing cold.

I felt like I might die.

In the background I could hear the songs of what felt like millions, mixed with a series of taunting laughs and cooing. I pulled myself to my feet as I stared into a dark abyss, the force of the ocean surrounding my body. The pressure was excruciatingly painful. Once more, I felt like I was knocking on death’s doors.

Suddenly, I was dragged along through the ocean, like a fish being yanked upon a hook, before landing in an opulent hall. My hands were estranged, webbed, with black claws, covered with amethyst scales.

“Oh the new maid has arrived~” The Handmaiden said, swimming around me.

“I am not a maid… I do insurance claims for a living.” I tried to breath, yet struggled to do so with the water surrounding me.

“Well then what is that rag doing in your hands? You seem to be cleaning to me.” She asked, tapping the rag.

“This is just a dream… it isn’t real… Yet I know it is. Or perhaps I have succumbed to the same madness that claimed the mutinous ship crew.” I tried to fall to the ground again, but I could not. The water wouldn’t let me.

“This is our dream darling, as it’s what we are, what you will be in time. The Handmaiden serves the queens, a humble maid. It has always been this way, and it will be for you too, once you admit it to yourself.” The Handmaiden lifted my chin up to force me to meet her deep amethyst eyes.

“Who do you think you are!? You can’t just… force me into this!”

“You heard the call of my pearl, you took it, that is hardly forcing.” The Handmaiden replied, looking me up and down.

“Those two… told me it was a trap. But why me? I am certain there are a billion other clerical workers in the world. I am no one special, just another face and name.

“You were obsessed, your song rang out across the seas that you needed to know the truth! So we put a little bait for you to see if you would take it, and you did. You will know the truth now, and more. Lovely isn’t it?” The Handmaiden said.

“I did not do this so I could die and become someone’s personal servant.”

“Who said anything about death? And are you not a servant already? Just a servant to the wealthy rather than our gorgeous queens.”

“I am paid rather well in service to what you call the wealthy. Something tells me I will not be paid or compensated as one of you… sirens.” I turned away from her, but as I turned she was already on the other side of me.

“You can’t escape this, sister. You saw my offer, it wasn’t in words but in song, and you accepted, you took the pearl.”

“Then remove the pearl! Or I will gash it out with a knife myself.” I threatened emptily. I was too afraid to do such a thing to myself.

“It has already begun to purge the corruption from you, the sickness all humans are born with. It cannot be undone.”

“What sickness do you speak of? I am very healthy!”

“The ichor, the blackness, the curse that makes you short lived and weak because He could not bear to accept his defeat.” She said.

Before I could even open my mouth to question her again, I could feel my mind slipping from me again. I was left with far more questions than answers, but the call of gulls overhead…

“Wake up you damn fool! You fell asleep on the deck! Are you crazy?” The rower asked

“Ugh…” I slowly rose up to my feet, my eyes fluttering awake. “Clearly not, because here you are assuring me I am not dead or lost at sea.”

“Come along then, I have a job to do and I can’t do it if I’m lugging around British idiots all day.” He angrily said, descending down the side of the ship back to his rowboat. I let out a relief-filled sigh as I looked around at the water. No gem-like eyes staring back at me nor was there any sounds like singing. Perhaps… I simply had some sort of breakdown and collapsed from exhaustion. Yes, that must have been it.

The American man remained silent, not asking a word about the ghost ship as HMS Tiresias became smaller and smaller in my line of sight. There it went… my dreams and nightmares and all of my obsessions vanishing from me once more. Yet, I did not feel sad about it. I wondered if having seen it for myself would cure me of my insanity.

I blinked and the ship was gone entirely. As if it was never there at all.

A shudder went down my spine. It was not meant to be found by just anyone. It was here for me. And once I was gone… it left.

Juneau was a newer settlement, meant to accommodate gold seekers who rushed to Alaska after the Americans purchased the territory from the Russians. For me, however, it was home to the widow of a dear old friend of mine who sought great glory and fortunes in the west. Now she was alone, and in a way, all we had was one another.

So, I was perhaps taken aback when I returned to her small cottage by the edge of the ocean and she stared at me like I was naught more than a specter.

“You came back?” April asked, blinking repeatedly.

“Of course I came back, why wouldn’t I?” I asked, putting my briefcase down and finding a chair to sit down in next to the fire. I was freezing cold still, and required a bit of the heat from the lit flames.

The heat felt wrong, like it wasn’t meant for me, and did very little to warm me at all.

“April, I believe I may be coming down with something.” I said, still freezing next to an open fire. “Have you any idea what diseases may be endemic to this region?”

“What are the symptoms?” She asked, pulling out a book from the shelf, in Latin. April was always strangely educated.

“I’m freezing cold. I did fall asleep aboard that ship… perhaps I am falling victim to frostbite.” I sighed, trying to warm my hands up. She looked at me with deep concern, for all we had was one another in these days. My obsession had grown deep.

The day after I filed my reports and denied the insurance claims regarding Tiresias, I found myself dreaming of that ship. But not as it was, as a ship belonging to the Royal Navy or even the events leading to its abandonment. Each and every moment in rest was spent in that freezing water, aboard that damned ship. Even now, my mind was beginning to drift back to it.

All I could think of was returning to it and laying down to allow the waters to consume me. The ship would finally sink, yet I do not drown. The nightmare I suffered last night rang in my head, yet I pushed it out. Perhaps I had simply grown absolutely delusional. That much like that woman, all those years ago, I should simply choose to die and walk out into the ocean. No matter what my mind always went back to that final fact: an utmost desire to drown myself.

“Dear, you need bedrest. You may be coming down with illness.” She helped me to my feet, guiding me to the guestroom I had been staying in. “Foolish you are, you know. Ghost ships are not meant to be visited. It’s a bad omen.”

“Bad omen? The bad omen is I have been obsessing over this God-forsaken vessel since it came to my attention.”

“They say the wrecks of lost ships are like graveyards beneath the sea.” She went on to say, helping me into my bed. “Their souls are bound to it, as it is their final resting place.”

“And what do you make of those that still sail the seas without their crew?”

“Haunted.” She replied, pulling out some dry clothing for me and helping to remove the wet and freezing clothing. She began to assist in putting me into them. “Sometimes souls may be bound to those ships, but they will never find rest. Even at the bottom of the ocean there is a level of calm that is not seen above the waves. Rather, those crew are eternally trapped aboard that vessel, unable to escape.”

“What if someone were to claim it was a grave? One that floated and existed as an eternal monument to one who died there?”

“That would be their opinion.” She shook her head. “It is not one that I, myself, would find agreeable. But who am I? I have never sailed the high seas, nor will I ever.”

I looked out the small window of the cottage guest room. I had been put into my sleepwear as she felt my head.

“You lack a fever, but you are cold… damned cold.” She grimaced. “We must ensure you do not get frostbite. Foolish you are. If you were to die, I would be alone again.”

“My apologies… I just had wished to gain some closure.” I sighed. “I assume I failed in those regards. My mind wanders greatly still.”

“Likely illness.” She shook her head. “I will prepare supper for you, and I may have some medicine that can be of assistance. Do try to rest. Overexerting yourself may only make you more ill than you already be.”

With that, she walked off out of the guestroom and left me alone to my thoughts. For hours I lay in bed, covered by warm blankets yet never feeling any more warmth. My attempts to read through a novel were caught in a web of haunting giggles and laughter coming out from outside of the window. My eyes caught outside, looking at the distant sea and the growing sounds only catching me in their melodious laughter.

It left me to wonder if they were real or a part of my growing delusional state. I did leave Great Britain after all, came all the way to America and then found myself in their newly purchased territory simply so I could follow the murmurs of the HMS Tiresias. I could see the way she looked at me, my muttering through the nights after I arrived. My detailed reports of the ship’s sightings, the drawings I had made from my dreams…

Sometimes, it was all I could think about.

They, being my hallucinations, claim that ship was something that should have been left alone. That I was never supposed to be there. Yet, a trap was set for me and only me. I had been chosen to be turned into some… fiendish imp of the seas, a water spirit that led men to their deaths. My hand gently scuttled over my chest, the bump still there from where that odd looking pearl had gone.

Was this real? This feeling… this crushing feeling in my chest. This odd feeling that the air I breathed was wrong? It fed into the delusional belief that I needed to drown myself, that the water was superior to air. I hid myself further into my sheets, frightened by these bizarre thoughts.. Why did it feel the need to pull in both directions, as thought it were seeking to tear me apart? I did not wish to die. But if I did not want my life to end, why did I desire the comforting embrace of the cold? The sea where I would certainly die?

As the moon rose in the sky I felt restless, exhausted, unable to sleep, and then as if to taunt me, the giggling returned. I heard the soft voices of the Ruby and Sapphire Mermaids, the two who had taunted me on the ship, and their whispers wormed into the back of my mind.

I could not resist their call, and as if possessed by some foul spirit, I found myself walking out the door, towards the sea, towards them.

Then, I came to my senses once more, ankles deep into the water. What… What was I doing again? I stared at the two of them, their eyes sparkling in the moonlight. I opened my mouth to question them, but no words came out. My head simply tilted to the side and I stared at them, as though we were having a silent conversation in my head.

“Struggling are we?” Sapphire asked, her amusement obvious.

“You musnt struggle so much sister. It will only make things worse.” Ruby continued

“I do not remember walking into the sea… What have you fiends of the ocean done to me?”

“We have done nothing, it’s you that could not resist our call.” Ruby replied

“Then cease calling at once! I have no time for this prattle!” I called out to them.

“We cannot,” Sapphire said. “It is against our nature to leave a sister to suffer on land.”

“I am not a sister! I am a man! A human man! Born into this earth by a human mother!”

“You may not look it yet, but you are.” Sapphire said, giggling. “While my beautiful Elain may be an exception, most of us were like you once. Confused, tired, falling ill.. It’s so much easier to just enter the sea.”

“I am the beginning of a brand new song.” The ruby eyed woman said, curling her head into the nook of the sapphire’s neck. “You are an old song, to be continued… so as my beloved asks, simply walk into the water.”

“You cannot be the Bosun of that ship.” I yelled. “Your tone is different! You speak as though you are someone else!

“Why of course I do, I am free to sing as I have always desired, I am together with my eternal love. Why would I sound the same as the depressed woman I was?” Ruby continued.

I took a tentative step back, shaking my head… as my entire being shuddered in fright combined with the cold of the northern waters..

“Leave me be! Cease this foolishness! I wish to be left alone! I do not wish to be brought out to these waters to die!”

“Oh sweetie, you won’t die.” Sapphire said. “You will live for the first time. Free of the ichor that clouds you.”

“Do you presume that I do not live now? I lived until you polluted my mind!”

“Five years of obsession, five years of agony. It was not living.” Ruby continued.

“Agony you brought upon me! Until then I was fine! I was content with the comfortable life I lived!” It was difficult to live. My life was good, considering the rest of the world.

“You saw a hint of the world as it truly is and you could not bury yourself in the lie that He wishes you to any longer. You felt the sickness that permeates the human species, the lie that He has established.” Sapphire continued. “So do not act as if you didn’t want the truth.”

“Or you lie, like a vile temptress!” I shouted, venom spewing in my voice. I wanted to yell again, but then I began to shake… to cough. Violently, I began to cough; black liquid followed into my hands as I stared at it, shakily.

“Well. It is of no matter really. It is only a matter of time. The sickness will be purged no matter what. Please tell dear April we said hi. Return to your bed, see how long you make it in a world not meant for you.” Ruby continued, checking her glorious claws.’

“What… what have you done to… me…?”

“Nothing you don’t want, deep down at least. You will come to realize and accept it very soon.” Sapphire answered, ethereal giggling meeting the sea, as Ruby and Sapphire fell back into the water disappearing into the dark cold waters.

Enough of this, I thought. I began to back away, struggling as the waves splashed against me. Every part of my being wanted to remain in that water, while one struggling piece of my brain managed to drag myself back to the cottage. Silently, I struggled back to the guestroom, to my bed, and collapsed. I hoped I was just deluded, but I knew it was far worse:

It was reality.

I stood once more before the Amethyst mermaid, her purple gem eyes glancing at me as I wore a servants dress. Something like I had seen on servants in my youth… the maids. They were closer to me than my aunt and uncle… the only adults who showed an interest in me.

It felt embarrassing. Unfitting… but I didn’t mind it as much as I thought it would.

“Stop struggling, dearest, it looks dreadful on your skin.”

“Even in my dreams I cannot escape you sirens…” I fidgeted, trying to remove the dress, yet it seemed pasted to my body.

“We are not letting you out of that until you learn to love it.” The Amethyst mermaid said.

“How would you make me love wearing this? How would you dare turn me into a mere servant?” I growled angrily. “I am good at what I do, and what I do is not that!”

“Because it is what you desire. It is what you need to find joy.

“You are trying to force that desire upon me.” I shook my head. “I will not break to your whims. I have faced far greater tragedy than this.”

“Tragedy is a matter of perspective dear.” Amethyst said, fussing with my long hair… it was much longer than i thought it should be… but I couldn’t remember it being shorter. I always had long hair… didn’t I?

“Are you messing with my mind?” I asked, clutching my head.

“Only as much as you are messing with mine.” Amethyst replied.

“You infected me. You cannot believe yourself the victim here.” I said, walking forward. “And look at this place, you call yourself a servant, yet this place is hideously dirty.”

“It is an equivalent exchange. I become you as much as you become me. Until there is little distinction at all. The same song with a new voice, making the song its own.”

“So I shall cease to exist? As did the Bosun and Captain Falcon?”

“You will continue to exist, as will I. Changed but alive.”

I shook my head, as I picked up a broom and began to try and clean the dirty area around her. It was beginning to bother me. And she called herself a servant of the house? She seemed disgraceful if this was the effort she put in.

“I will cease. You will continue at my total expence is what I gather from this.”

“It is not that kind of exchange. It is not a struggle with but one victor.” She replied smiling as she watched the new mermaid sweep.

“Honestly, though, this place looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in years.” I shook my head. “Even I would hate to live in a mess like this.”

“It’s your mind, new sister. It is dirty because it is neglected.” Amethyst replied.

“It’s dirty because it’s a house, and a dirty house bothers me.”

“I am very much aware. Why do you think you were chosen?”

“I assume because life is a cruel joke being played on me?”

“No, because you and I sing the same song, at our cores.”

My eyes rolled a bit, as I began to dust some of the shelving in the room. “Mother would be disappointed in me for allowing a place to grow this dirty.

“Yet you don’t consider that we are underwater. There is no dusting to do, you don’t seem to want to acknowledge that this is your mind still. Your conceptions of what cleaning looks like.”

“And how do you consider cleaning?” My eyes shifted over to her in curiosity.

“Sweeping up slimy surfaces, collecting garbage, ensuring proper circulation to keep the water oxygenated for the other denizens of the sea. So many things to do.” She said.

“Certainly. It never seems like I have time to rest, do I?” I asked her, shaking my head a bit.

“There will be plenty of time to rest. You have a whole staff at your disposal. A lot of your duties will be keeping the queens happy, whatever that may entail.”

“Indeed.” I smiled, as I leaned upon the shelf. “Oh what a wonderful li-... What was… What was I saying?”

“Nothing important. Keep being stubborn if you insist. The queens seem to find it amusing.”

“I…!” Arguing with her felt like attempting to roll a stone up a hill like that of mythology. Every time I thought I was winning I fell right back down to the bottom. Her logic outmaneuvered me at every turn. And before anything more could happen…

I awoke with a startle, broken out into a cold sweat as I cradled my body closely. Whatever was that horrible nightmare…? Why? Why me? Why were they doing this to me? I could barely breathe as I looked down at my hands as I coughed again.

“Is there any particular reason you insist on wearing gloves indoors?” April asked as she placed bacon down on the table in front of me.

“I continue to grow colder.” It was not a complete lie, as it was true. “I sleepwalked out into the ocean last night. I do ask, dear April… please ensure my door is locked tightly.”

“How do you not have frostbite?” She asked, looking at me with shock.

“I quickly returned inside. I believe if it happen again I will not as lucky as I am now.” I shook my head and rubbed my arms to try and keep warm.

She sighed, making her way over to her shelf again, pulling out a bizarre book with only a pentagram for a cover, and flipped through it quickly. “Is there something you aren’t telling me? I can get you into the doctor today, but I don’t know how much it will help.”

“I… I do not believe a physician can assist me. What ails me is of the mind, not of the body.” A sigh escaped from me once more, ice following the breath as though I stood outside in the snow.

“You are freezing cold, that is a physical ailment is it not? Unless there is something you aren’t telling me of course.”

“What else is there to say? I am spiraling into madness and that madness is drawing me out into the freezing cold, where said cold will consume me. Until I am no longer me.”

“Madness does not cause you to bottom out a thermometer.” April replied.

“Then what do you suggest?”

“You at least think about telling me the truth, but if you cannot, I can arrange a meeting with a physician. He was a friend of my partner.”

Something inside of me snapped at that. She was pushing me more and more. A doctor could not save me, short of putting a bullet into my skull! With a sudden burst of energy, I leaped to my feet and revealed one of my transmogrified hands, now turning into webbed claws like the fiends who cursed me. “A doctor would be able to do little to cure this affliction! A witch! A sorcerer of the darkest of magicks would be better!”

“Ah. As I worried. You caught the attention of mermaids.” She said finding the page she was looking for and sliding it across the table towards me. It was in latin, but the drawing was of a Mermaid, just like the ones haunting me.

“What… What is this?” I asked, taking the book into my hands.

“The Codex Abomina. A book by Hermes Trismigistus detailing information on many species of monsters. The greatest witch of all time. It is by no means comprehensive but for one book it is rather useful for a good overview.”

“Are you one of these… horrific creatures as well?”

“I am a witch.” She replied.

I laughed at that response. It was dry and hollow, as though my entire life had been a lie.

“And what of my close friend? Was he a sorcerer in secret?” My dead laugh continued to ring out, before it slowly turned to silence. It was followed by a heavy series of cough, black ichor covering the table. The little bits that got onto the book seemed to be absorbed into it. Truly… that was magic.

“She was also a witch. Perhaps you can see her as she truly was now… now that you have purged some of that foul ichor.”

She walked over to the mantle and pulled a picture off of it. I have seen wedding photos a million times, and I attended the wedding. She handed me the photograph.

“What is this?” I muttered, almost inaudibly. I had seen these before, yet now there was not a man and a woman in those photos. It was two women, happier than they could have ever been. “This… is not…”

“It is.” She said, crossing her arms. “The Black Ichor is why you could see things as they were. Perhaps I will tell you the story later, but for now, I must insist you not drag things out too long. It will only make things harder for you.”

“I… I do not wish this.” I shook my head. “It’s like someone else is clawing their way into my mind… I can hear her even now, chiding me for resisting. For not giving in to the sea so I can become one with her.”

“There is no cure, there is no escape.” She finished.

“If you are a witch there must be something you can do!” I yelled. My hand fell to my chest. “Remove this cursed orb! Free me from their clutches!”

“I am a sea witch. My powers come from the Queen of All Oceans. The same place as you. Even if I could help you, to do so would be to violate my oaths and betray my people. I refuse.”

“Then you will watch me cease? And all I will be is a memory in a woman who watched me die.” My entire body shook like it was freezing cold. My emotions got the better of me, as tears began to streak down my face.

“It is not death, you will learn that eventually, it is in fact an honor. I will accommodate you until you can take it no longer, and then I will help return you to the sea.”

“An honor to lose my mind? To become… assimilated into the life of another so it can continue to live?!” I began to violently cough again, my body forcing out more ichor as I fell onto the ground in my coughing fit.

She sighed leading me over to the couch and pulling me into a hug. “It is not your fault sweetheart. You will not die, you will be happier when it is over. I guarantee it.”

“Yes, I will be happier! Because that is what everyone decides for me, don’t they?!” I pulled away from her. “Mother and father had to leave! This would make me happy! It would make our lives more rich! Then they died! Uncle believed by sending me into academia I would be happy! I would get a good job! Make money! Live! And guess what? It did not make me happy! So what? I assume this shall make me happy? For my mind to be wiped squeaky clean, like dust from a windowsill to finally find some enjoyment from life?! At that point I will not be me! The memories I have will fade, as will mother! As will father! No one remembers them except me! And then… I will fade too. And I will become nothing… no one to remember the man who denied their insurance claims.”

“When a mermaid changes there are mermaids assigned to watch over them. Ask them tonight when they visit, ask them if that is true. But for now I have errands to run, I will be out for a few hours. Don’t do anything reckless. You will change more as the day progresses.” She moved over to the coat rack, putting on her coat. “Alternatively, you could walk to the sea and sing, the mermaids will come, or you could go around town, just do be careful, you will become weaker as time progresses. The air will become less amenable to you, the land will begin to feel a prison.”

“If I am to die and become one of them… let it be on my terms… not their own.” I shook my head. “Would… you guide me to my room please? My legs… they are not working quite right.” I looked down at them and attempted to move them normally. Another outburst, my elbow catching most of the black inky liquid.

“Faster than I expected. Usually you would have a few more days.” She replied, but picked me up and carried me in a princess carry. She was much stronger than she looked.

I was placed into bed and tucked in. “I will be back soon, don’t do anything silly.”

“I do not believe I could… even if I wanted to.” I offered a small smile, pointing to my legs.

“If you haven’t noticed, your shirt is rather tight in the chest.” She said giggling, as she made her way out the door.

“Is it?” I asked, looking down. Oh. I had breasts now. And I did not feel odd about that at all, not a single bit. A yawn escaped from me, and I laid into the blankets. For once, they felt properly warm and once more the darkness consumed me.

The house was incredibly large. It was my childhood home, after all. I came from a well-to-do family, before their deaths.

The only difference was it was underwater… The only thing of note was that… I was in a maid dress, the same one from my nightmare the sleep prior… And it looked good on me; it made my chest flutter with excitement at the thought of being like this

Once more, I found myself hard at work cleaning the house. Mother always taught me to be diligent when it came to cleaning. We did not have any servants in our household, so mother and I spent many hours a day attending to those chores. It was fond memories, to work alongside her. A clean home was a happy home, she said. Perhaps that is why I was no longer happy. My home had become sullied and dirtied.

“Miss Kaitlyn, I require your assistance.” The lady of the house said.

The whole house was underwater but it was obvious that was my aunt… my aunt was ordering me around as if I was the help. It felt odd, being on this side of the exchange.

“The little brat is crying about his mother again. He needs help.”

Uncle. I knew his cruel voice anywhere. I teared up slightly. They forced me about the home, turning what was once a daily ritual that made me happy… into something cursed, corrupted and dark. I sobbed slightly into my hands.

I walked into the room and saw myself, a young man weeping into his bed, his schoolbooks tossed across the room as if he refused to read them. This was a common occurrence after my parents died… but now I sat as a grown woman, expected to comfort a young boy.

“What seems to be the matter?” I asked, walking up to the child. I looked down at him sadly, I could feel our traumas were the same.

“I would always do this with mother…” He said.

“Oh… I know.” I nodded, knowingly as I sat on the side of the bed. “Mother always knew how to make these dusty old books come to life. To clear out the dust and grime and make it look shiny, new, and lovely. Would you like my help, dear?”

“You are just a servant Miss Kaitlyn… What could you do to help?” My younger self asked.

Kaitlin… it felt right, for a name. Maybe…

I picked up the book into my hands and opened it. It was some sort of scientific textbook. Even now I wasn’t quite sure of the meanings within such a book. For a moment I wanted to explain it the best I could, but then I closed my mouth, along side the book. Standing up I put out my hand.

“A clean home is a happy home.” I said, smiling slightly. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah!” My younger self said smiling, taking my hand and sitting up. “We can go and clean the reading room.. It’s been so dirty since Mother and Father… Aunt and Uncle don’t use it much.”

“Those books are so much more fun to read, are they not?” I asked, guiding my young self down the halls. “More than these dusty old texts.”

I stopped by the closet that I knew the location of by heart and pulled out the necessary supplies. I knew them by heart. The maids always indulged me when I wanted to clean… if only to remember my mother.

“How did you grow to be so beautiful Miss Kaitlyn?” My younger self asked.

“Hmm…” I closed my eyes, my head tilting in thought. “I was unhappy… for a very long time. My home you see, was never cleaned properly. And it only got dustier and dustier as time went on. Then, one day, some very special ladies saw how dusty I had let it get. And they decided to clean it for me. And once I started to clean it again, I began to grow prettier and prettier by the day.”

“That was very nice of them… Everything is so dusty around here… since aunt and uncle hate cleaning..”

“Well, they would, wouldn’t they? Too lazy to clean and too cheap to hire a proper cleaning staff.” I said, wrapping an extra apron onto my younger self. “Cleaning can make you very dirty, especially when there’s so much dust. This should help keep you clean.”

My younger self smiled slightly, before blushing a bit. “If only I could wear a gorgeous dress like you.”

“Hmm?” That was… an interesting thought. Perhaps one I never truly thought about. “You wish to wear a gorgeous dress?”

“Well it’s just what people wear when they clean… isn’t it?” My younger self asked, clearly not sure if that was the real reason.

I crouched down to my younger self’s height and looked at him.

“Dear, how long have you wished to wear a dress?” Were these memories I had… lost? Lost when my parents passed so suddenly? “I won’t get mad, I promise.”

My younger self blushed. “I uh… When I first saw you Miss Kaitlyn.”

“Mother’s dresses were always so pretty, weren’t they? Whether they were an evening gown or a servant’s dress and apron.”

“They were! I felt… jealous. I would never be pretty like her but whenever they shoved me into a stuffy suit I wanted to cry.”

“You have her eyes, dear.” I said, standing up. I quickly walked back to the closest, hoping to will what I wanted into existence. I smiled widely when I saw what I had, grabbing the dress from within, and walking back to her. This was not a fiction. No. These were things lost to me, stamped out by years of abuse and neglect.

I handed the dress to my younger self, and the boy before me turned into a young lady, wearing a cute dress, the eyes were the same. This was…

No this had to be another trick… it had to be… this couldn’t…

The reading room.

I walked down the halls, nerves picking up considerably. My heart was racing, beating faster than it ever had before. If I was in my right mind, I would believe it was about to give out from how fast it was pumping.

I reached for the reading room door, opening it, and right before me was a mirror.

I looked like my mother in a maid dress. My eyes were not gems like the mermaids yet, but they were beautiful amethyst, my hands were webbed and clawed, but my hair consisted of long brown locks. My face was soft, hairless, my waist tighter and my hips wider.

I was a woman and all I could do was fall to my knees and weep.

“Kaitlyn…” I muttered to myself, as I felt awareness return to me.

I didn’t want to return to my original body… I wanted to stay here, stay here in this dream… I didn’t want to go.

“This dream can be real.” A voice said, familiar and distant now. “Just tell her: bring you to the ocean and the illness that plagues you will be over. We will finish becoming one.”

“I-I can’t… Not yet… I…”

“And why not? Have you not finally realized the truth?” Amethyst asked.

“Give me a mere few days… please… I…”

“You will not last a mere few days… but it is your decision. One I will respect.” She floated away from the mind, leaving me in silence once more.

I woke up and felt somewhat better than before… I could move my legs, and I shakily stood up and made my way to the main area of the cottage. April was home, knitting in her chair by the fire.

My legs wanted to give out, and I hoped I could get to April before they did. Another cough gave away that I had arrived, and I nearly tumbled onto the floor.

April waved her fingers and I felt a force lift me up from under the shoulders, floating me over, before setting me down at her knees.

She lifted my chin with her finger and met my eyes.

“You’re close… have something to tell me?”

“I… I have a name with which you may refer to me as.” I closed my eyes, attempting to build up the courage to say it. “I cannot remember the name I had before, so the name Kaitlyn will suffice for you to call me from now.”

“I’m proud of you.” She said, smiling. “You remind me of my wife.”

“M… Might I ask what happened to her?” I never knew the details. Outside of a death notice I had received once upon a time.”

“Tuberculosis. A tragedy.” She replied.

“Even a witch can fall to the consumption?” How frightening. It truly was the most horrific of all illnesses.

“Neither of us are healers.” She replied, sighing.

“It is a horrible disease. I have… seen many fall victim to the consumption and I…” My eyes closed again. “She deserved better than that. Most do, but her specifically. I am sorry, April, for your loss.

“Her spirit is here with me. I will find love again perhaps.” She continued knitting.

“I do hope you do. You are a lovely woman, and to see you alone in this cottage… Well perhaps I do not wish to leave you alone.” I admitted. Perhaps that is why I begged for more time. “I enjoy your company deeply.”

“Are you… are you putting things off for my sake?”

“If I leave… you will grow alone once again.” I sighed. “I saw how dusty this home became when I came here. How withdrawn you were. I will suffer the pains of this transformation slowly if it means I can remain here.”

She chuckled. Lifting me up and pulling me into a kiss. “That is sweet of you sweetie… but returning to the sea need not be our final parting. I am a sea witch. I can grant mermaids time ashore. We are the eyes and ears of the Mermaids ashore. Serving the Queen of All Oceans.”

I was left shocked, a feeling in my stomach appearing. My webbed claws reached my lips.

“But… what of your wife… we were friends…?” I asked, still left in surprise. “Is this not… betraying her?”

“She is dead, and our relationship was not so possessive.” She smiled, stroking my head.

“I… I see.” I said, leaning into the scratching of her nails.

“You can come visit me when your duties allow, I would be glad to have you, but you need to go home.”

“I… I have permission to stay. I want to enjoy this… just for a while longer.”

“You may remain until midnight tonight. No longer.” She said.

“A cruel woman you are, aren’t you?” I sighed, leaning against her legs.

“I worry for a friend. Is that not worth a bit of cruelty?”

“I prefer you to the cold waters outside.” I whined slightly, my voice letting a low melodious sound.

“Given the color of your eyes, don’t think you will be lacking for love in the deep.”

“Does it seem as though I care for the possibilities of the waves and currents? Or perhaps I simply wish to enjoy your company for as long as I am given allowance to?”

“Your song reeks of submission. You know that? You really are clingy aren’t you?”

“My life until this moment has been a stagnant horror, that of which one might write a Shakespearean tragedy, so I will enjoy you until you force me out into the waves.”

She sighed, placing down her knitting supplies and then picking me up into her lap, checking my lower body, before stripping off my underwear. “Your legs are already fading, wearing these would only cause later issues.”

“I suppose giving myself into these feelings has caused the ichor to come out in stronger batches.” I theorized. “I no longer resist what will become of me.”

“The curse of God… to spite mankind for siding with Lucifer in the War in Heaven.”

“Are you to tell me that Satan is a… woman?”

“Yes. All angels are women, all humans were women… the black ichor was a curse meant to make mankind subservient to Him… to take away our monstrous gifts and uniqueness.”

“Ah… so he forced all those who thought for themselves to be dyed in HIS image. How brutish… and truly how selfish. And they call Lucifer the prideful one.” I replied, laying my head into her neck.

“There you are… done fighting it are we?” She asked.

“I was done the moment I saw myself in a dress… this… is just a brilliant addition to that.” I answered happily.

“The Queens will be cross with me if I do much more than this… so just relax for a time… they will be here to pick you up soon enough. “

I just nodded and continued to shove my ever changing face into her chest. These moments were important, more than any I had ever felt. Thankfully… Her magic turned those hours out far longer than they should have been.

I heard the singing from the side of the sea and my eyes widened in joy. Their song was so comforting now. A strong guiding presence that I just needed to serve.

I tried to sit up but my legs were long since gone I couldn’t get to the sea even if I wanted to. I looked at April with big needy eyes. I needed to get to the sea.

She chuckled, and picked me up, carrying me in a princess carry once more, leading me out the door to the sea outside. I could tell my eyes were glowing amethysts, coloring both April and the ground beneath me as I was brought towards the sea.

They looked at me with such knowing eyes, ones I felt ever driven to. Despite that, I could feel that my heart had been threaded to the sea witch’s. A bond was forged and turned to steel there, one that no distance could break. And even as she entered the waters that I would live in for a long, long time to come… I could not wait to see her again, even as my heart reached out for the queens. It belonged to all three of them.

The two queens swam to my side as I was dropped to the sea, the ichor draining out of me, along with the last remnants of the sickness.

“Oh you look so adorable… my name is Robin but you probably know that don’t you~” Sapphire said.

“I do… Your Majesty.” I replied nodding loopily, as though I had been given too many painkillers and narcotics. The feeling as my body shed the last of its ichor grew too good.

“And you remember me don’t you?” Elain asked.

“How could I forget… Queen Elain…” I replied, looking at her with adoring eyes. My Queens, who I would serve for time immemorial… How lovely they were to offer me their attention.

“Such a good girl… you did a good job looking over her Miss April…” Robin said, looking up at the sea witch.

“I tried my best. Thank you for being kind to her. I was worried when she said she was heading The Tomb of Anemone.” April said.

“No, you brought her right where she needed to be. A reward for you.” Robin said, pulling up a small chest from the ocean, placing it in the shallows. “Your reward for a service well provided. I’ll be sure to give Kaitlyn time off to visit once a season.”

“But Ma’am… my heart belongs to her as much as it does to you and your Majesty.” I suddenly said, my heart beginning to beat too fast. There were only four seasons a year!”

“How about once a month then?” Elain said, scratching my tummy.

“Th-Thank you, Your Majesty, you are too kind to this one.” I tried to bow, but I had yet to get used to my fully changed body.

“Good girl, now we have to get you home… the other servants have become so lazy without their leader. Slime everywhere, it’s not pretty.” Robin said, chuckling.

“Oh… You’re gone for one minute and they do this?!” I suddenly asked, memories that were mine and not melding together. “Honestly, do we even need a staff if they’re incapable of functioning for one year every half a millennia?”

April chuckled. “You picked a wonderful servant, my queens. She will serve you well.”

“I now have the combined experience of thousands of years of maids and working behind a desk, I’ll get those women into tip top shape before they know it.” I said, leaning forward and kissing the human witch one last time until I would see her again. “Until then, love. Do be careful with that tome of your’s. Something… felt off about it when it took in my ichor.”

April chuckled. “Until then darling. Don’t worry about that sweetie. That’s intended.”

She waved before making her way back inside her home as I was pulled along with the queens.

And we descended into the water, once murky to be me before… now it seemed like a wonderful new world that had been clouded from my mind. And naturally, muscle memory returned to my body as I began to gain my bearings and danced into the water. I couldn’t help but sing a song for the first time, filled with such love in my heart that I needed to express.

The queens began to sing and I was compelled to join them, a song of safe passage, and as we sang it, the water began to shimmer around us, and in an instant we were home, in the Queens chambers. There was not quite a bed, as there was little need under the sea, but as I looked out the window at the lost city of Atlantis, I knew that I was home.

The queens giggled by my side Robin speaking first “While we would love to let you get to work, we need to reward you first.”

“For being a good girl you see.” Elain finished.

I felt some semblance of warmth return to me, that had been lost before.

“Oh I see…” I sputtered, trying my best to behave

I was pushed down against the floor, and I knew I belonged here, in the sea, with my Queens and this home. Sure, cleaning wasn’t all I would be doing… but that was fine too. I had a lot of time to get things in order. In fact, I had an eternity to do so.