Dear Aile,

I write to you to ask of your advice.

As of late, my boss, psychologist, landlord, and aunt have all been being overly pressing and demanding of me, and I find myself worried about the implications.

This could be chalked up to bad luck, however, they're all the same person.

It feels like she's not even pretending to not be interested in me anymore, but after fleeing from the disapproval of my parents and friends back in the backwards town we came from, I have nowhere else left to go.

I hope that you, at least, haven't written me off completely.

Speaking of: it may be old-fashioned of me to write a letter, but I don't trust the cellphone my aunt got me, since she seems to always know where I am. I'm too scared to get rid of it and cut off my only form of communication. I apologize for my penmanship-- I am both in a hurry and out of practice.

Remember how we joked in school about never needing to use writing? lol

Is there some organization I could go to for help? Perhaps I could stay with you a couple of weeks while I got my life sorted out? I know I'm asking for too much, but I know not who else too turn to in my shamelessness.

Your dear friend-- is that too cheesy to say? I feel like I don't know the etiquette of letters in this day and age.

On the envelope, the return address I've written is an abandoned house-- simply write back there, and I'll get your letter.

Your dear friend and servant,
Matilda

Dear Aile,

I'm sorry to hear about your living situation, and I know it'd be unreasonable to expect help from you when you're on verge of being kicked out by your partner over your current situation. Thank you for telling me of your own experiences with my aunt-- they give me little hope, but it's nice to not feel like I'm all hallucinating this.

It seems so unreal.

I thank you for allowing me to at least write to you.

I have no one else to turn to, I don't have friends here yet, and whenever I complain to my "psychologist" or "aunt" about what my "boss" or "landlord" are doing, she just says perhaps I'm being ungrateful and I should be thankful to be allowed a place to live at all.

Back home, I could hide myself from my family, but I can't hide from my aunt.

I pointed out all the taboos she was breaking by pursuing a relationship with me, and all the abusive things we were doing, and she simply pushed me against the wall and said "Mattie, this is all fictional. It doesn't matter what I do to you, as long as it's hot."

Does that even make sense? What sort of delusions is she suffering from? Is this solipsism?

My body trembles when I get near her because I'm afraid she'll hurt me again.

She said I can quit my job whenever I want, if it's too much for me, that she'll take care of me, but I know that the moment I do so, the little sliver of freedom I have will be gone-- although she already takes almost all of my money, claiming it's a discount. Maybe it is, but she pays me minimum wage, and gives me so few hours I can barely pay rent.

I tried to apply for other jobs, but she slapped me and called me ungrateful.

I'm too scared to disobey her any longer, and massaged and kissed her feet like she's been asking, and she gave me a small "bonus" to get something fun with.

She was quite annoyed when I didn't come back with an itemized receipt to prove what I had paid for, but when I cried and apologized, she looked over the snacks and sodas I had gotten, and said it looked like I had spent what I said I did, and said that she'd forgive me as long as I was good and remembered next time.

I gave some of it to her, which made her smile, and let up on me a little, but she also started saying things like "See? I knew you were just being sunedere". (My spelling may be wrong, I'm not allowed to have a phone anymore, apparently I "just use it to make myself depressed".)

She says "sunedere" means "being difficult to the one you love because it's too hard for you to face your feelings" in Japanese. She also went into a lot of other definitions with words like "cooldere" and stuff, but honestly I had stopped listening properly because she had started... doing untoward things to me, let's say.

I hope your partner comes to trust you more. You may have made some mistakes, but I think she's being unreasonable.

One who shares your pain,
Matilda

Dear Aile,

If this is my last letter to you, know that I mean to cast no aspersions on you by it. You have been very loyal to me, as far as your circumstances allow, and a bosom(heh) friend.

I quit my job like my aunt wanted, and I've had to write this while walking-- I apologize for my even worse penmanship than usual.

Walks are the only time I'm free of her house.

She says things like "you really do love me" and "all you have to do is be obedient", and it's just... easier to acquiesce than fight her on everything and live in fear of everything she wants.

As long as I utterly submit to her, she's not too cruel.

Sorry to focus on my own experiences so much-- it sounds like you're having a tough time of it too. But you can at least talk to other people (as long as they're not girls), and selfishly, I just want one person in the world to know what happened to me.

My body has started to get used to her more gentle touch-- she still hurts me sometimes, but less often, and as long as I just take it, she'll give me gentle encouragements as she hurts me, and then treat me like a princess afterwards, wrapping me in a blanket, touching me gently, and giving me little bites of luxury ice cream I'm not usually allowed to have.

She says she's training me, that soon I'll let go of my inhibitions and fully love her. When I said under my breath that it's just pavlovian conditioning, she laughed, and agreed, but said it was irrelevant-- "Humans, when tortured, become more mentally plastic, and it's easier to manipulate them. Besides, this is all a fictional story to get people off, and that's what the readers want. They want to imagine themselves being helplessly tortured by me. Don't you think that's cute?"

When I pointed out the taboos, she just laughed harder and petted my head and said that overcoming taboos is a sign of love. She also said "even if I had killed your parents or all of your friends, the readers would still come around to me as long as I'm hot enough" and started talking about some other foreign word that means, like everything else, that she can do no wrong.

Your suffering friend,
Matilda

Dear Aile,

You don't have to write back. I feel very bad for lying just to get your attention. Like my aunt said in the earlier letters, everything was fictional.

"Mattie," my beautiful aunt said lovingly, "you were created to live with me. Isn't that enough?"

I reflexively protested it was wrong, even though we were doing nothing at all wrong.

She smiled and kissed my head gently... despite all my lies about her previous behavior, trying to make people believe I had hurt her or done taboo things to her, she forgave me. "It's okay to do whatever you want in fiction, as long as you keep it fictional," she said with a wink.

I asked her what if someone thought it was real.

She just smiled at me sweetly, and then smiled more imperiously at the wall. She said she was "breaking the fourth wall", and that her "readers would feel her imperious gaze look down upon them lovingly despite the scum they were".

I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I can't hide anything from my wonderful aunt.

Your happy friend,
Matilda

My Dear Little Songbird,

I've been thinking of you-- maybe Mattie reminds me of you.

However, unlike my entirely platonic relationship with my niece, who I would never do anything untowards to, I want to treat you like my cute little sex slave.

I've managed to tease out of my cute little Mattie that you've been having some troubles being unfaithful to your current partner, and she's gotten abusive. That's so sad! You can't know the emotion it stirs in me, knowing someone is abusing you.

You always seem to draw people in who want to hurt you-- well, my case, it was purely consensual between us. Right cutie?

I understand why your girlfriend would be angry with you for sneaking behind her back, though-- it'd be a shame if that got out, you should be careful who you tell it to you.

But I'm sure you'd never do that to me, I'm sure-- you still must love me.

And I love you too, or by now, wouldn't I have spread all the things around that could ruin your life?

That's how it should be between exes, that they're gentle and considerate of each other and don't go around telling stories behind people's backs.

I still care about you, Aile.

If things get too hard for you, feel free to come and stay over. We don't even have to do anything, really.

But I do think you'll fall for me when you come.

Wouldn't that be the perfect story, my little Aile?

You and my Mattie adoring me with all of your hearts?

I don't know why she's started to insisted on kneeling on the floor when I sit in the chair, but I don't hate it.

Maybe you could join her there?

I could make all your wildest dreams and nightmares come true, if you asked me nicely enough.

Well, since this has all been fictional, a fantasy that Mattie's busy little brain come up with, I suppose I can't truly do anything to you.

But you're free to imagine anything you like.

Me covering your body with kisses.

Us softly holding hands while you tremble with fear.

You begging me for your life, if you want.

The sweeter and darker things that you secretly long for.

Imagination is free, after all.

Your Mistress,
Your once and future girlfriend