Bouquet Bound, Garden Ablaze

SAD B!TCH

by Skaetlett

Tags: #bondage #CW:dubious_consent #D/s #f/nb #humiliation #transgender_characters #corruption #cw:transphobia #dom:female #exhibitionism #plurality #pov:bottom #sub:nb #twentyfour_seven
See spoiler tags : #CW:hereditary_cancer #f/f

Lily copes with their diagnosis. Or tries to, at least.

The first thing Lily noticed when they woke up was a splitting headache.

They winced in pain, murmuring “ow, ow, ow” as they propped themself up. Lily massaged their forehead, their temples, anywhere for some kind of relief, but the headache was persistent. It felt like they got no sleep at all.

Which made sense, they supposed. They might as well have pulled the worst all-nighter ever. Their legs still ached from the stupid sprint in the pouring rain. No part of their body wanted to move or do anything except go back to sleep. But Lily forced themself to sit up.

They tried to clear their mind, shove down every image flooding back into their brain. The blue plus sign, the floor shaking below them as their counselor tried to calmly explain everything to Lily. The look of anger on their Mistress’ face when Lily tried to hide what happened, melting into something resembling sympathy. The darkness of the streets as they snuck out and took off on a run. That… Indigo woman picking them up, and her fancy car and awful sense of fashion, and the way she caught Lily in a rare moment of vulnerability before trying to take advantage of them. Magnolia’s rage as Lily walked back through the doors with soaked clothes and tears painting their cheeks. Being led to their bedroom, barely able to focus or move, and having the audacity to speak back to their Mistress. And then the darkness as their Mistress had enough and put them to sleep.

Lily’s legs hung off the bed. For a while, they didn’t move, and just stared at the ground. What was going to happen to them now? Obviously, they knew the tests and risk management and… and everything. Their risks of like, twelve different cancers were terrifyingly high. And considering their dad had it four times in his life… and considering their dad was young when he did, too… Lily shook their head. They were past 35. Lily was well within the range of actual risk. What if – what if something had already happened? That was a question they’d just be asking themself over, and over, and over again.

This was… their life, now. Before meeting Magnolia, Lily spent no time thinking of a future. They were too suicidal, too depressed, to even see themself lasting another year. They found happiness with Magnolia, but still didn’t think about ten, twenty, thirty years from now. And now, the future was all they could think about. Everything was too sudden, their world turning upside down in the span of two weeks.

It was like going to the worst fortune teller ever.

Lily hunched over and held their face in their hands. They tried not to cry, promising themself they wouldn’t cry again… They just wished someone would understand. Magnolia didn’t. Pierre and Jenn didn’t. Obviously their genetic counselor would understand something like that, but it wasn’t like she was a confidant or anything. 

Whatever. They had to pull themself together to do the morning routine.

It was only then they realized.

“...Huh?” Lily twisted their body, noticing Magnolia was nowhere in their bed. A series of revelations hit them like a truck. The sunlight was far too bright to be sunrise. The alarm clock –

Fuck.

The alarm clock read 11:43am.

“Shit!” Lily exclaimed, immediately rising to their feet. Why the hell didn’t it go off?! Lily could figure that out later. They now had two reasons to panic. The morning routine. They completely missed it. Magnolia was going to punish them so hard. 

Lily rushed the first two parts of the routine, almost finishing everything in a split second. They wrote a nice message haphazardly – “I’m so glad that you’re my Mistress” – then threw on some lingerie and took the three photos requested.

Next they had to set the table. Lily ran out to the kitchen, their heart pounding a million beats a second–

Only to find out it was already set to perfection. 

“...Huh?” Lily rubbed their eyes. 

Magnolia sat at the table calmly, just drinking a cup of coffee as if nothing were wrong. Almost. The bags under her eyes were darker than usual, and her shoulders were slouched way lower than usual.

“I-I’m so sorry, Mistress–” Lily immediately dove into the apologies. “I don’t know how I slept through my alarm, um, let me make you breakfast– lunch– I, um–”

Magnolia put the coffee down and sighed. “Your alarm didn’t go off because I turned it off for you.”

“...What?”

“You’re exhausted. I knew you wouldn’t be able to focus at the crack of dawn, especially with your idiotic stunt last night. So, I relieved you of your morning routine today.” Magnolia explained her actions so methodically, her voice almost a monotone. Even though she explained it so simply, Lily still didn’t understand.

“Mistress, I… why?”

Magnolia sighed and impatiently tapped her fingers against the table. “You know, I understand things must be extremely stressful for you right now, but we’ve been speaking for thirty seconds, and you’ve already questioned me twice. Even if we were in a ‘normal’ relationship, it would be annoying at best and insulting at worst.”

Lily flushed and shrunk into themself. “I-I’m sorry, Mistress. I’m so—“ 

They should have just gone into subspace and had their behavior set straight, but against their will, they just burst into tears again. They hid their face as best they could, trying to collect the falling dominos around them.

Magnolia shot up from her chair, the frustrated look on her face quickly dissolving. “Lily, I—“

Almost without thinking, Magnolia walked over and embraced Lily. Lily held their breath, stunned by the sudden contact, but the shameful feeling in their chest went away.

"We are working through this," she spoke as if she needed to hear it herself too, "we will work through this. We might need to adjust things for a bit, but this will not separate us."

Lily choked. "Thank you, Mistress. I just - I don't want to think about what's going on. I just want it all to disappear. When I serve you that’s - that’s the closest I feel to being there. I just... I just want to go back to how things were... I want to fall asleep and - and wake up normal... I'm - I'm sorry."

Magnolia listened quietly, gently petting their hair as they spoke. When Lily finished talking, she replied. "You have nothing to apologize for. I can't take what's happening away, but I can ensure that you're supported and loved."

Lily hiccuped, leaning closer into Magnolia's chest. She continued, "you're not in trouble. Except..."

Magnolia lifted one hand, grabbed Lily's hair, and pulled it hard enough to elicit a scream of pain from them.

"As a reminder, you don't make decisions here. You never have, and you never will. So, if I decide to relieve you of your tasks - *temporarily* - then that's what I'll do. And you *don't* get to say otherwise. Do you understand? Did I say that slowly enough?"

Lily didn't have a chance to answer. Magnolia pulled their hair harder, harder, harder, until Lily felt their brains were getting pulled out. "You. Obey. Me. You follow me and do whatever I say, regardless of how you feel about it." Lily was gasping for air, but somehow the pain made them more receptive to her words. "We're going to spend some... time, reinforcing that, while remaining conscious of your circumstances. We'll go back to basics, if we truly need to. But you will obey me, and you do not have the right to do as you please, especially against my command."

"Yes... yes, Mistress." The pain, the degradation, the reinforcement of their total power exchange dynamic -- it soothed Lily. Obeying Magnolia... was the only thing that made sense.

Finally, she let go of their hair, satisfied with that answer.

They didn't have a say. They only had to follow Magnolia's lead - nothing else.

They could surely do that much, right?

"I do have some meetings today, but you're going to stay occupied. If you need an hour or so to yourself, you have that. But I'm not allowing you to sit here and stew in your sadness. So, what do you plan to do today?"

Lily... hadn't thought that far. All they wanted to do was sit and stew in their sadness. They just wanted to cry over and over again. Lily wasn't in the mood to do much else.

But, Mistress' orders.

"I guess I'll... call one of my friends," Lily said. "Take a day trip, or something. But, like, something lowkey. Is that okay, Mistress?"

"Yes. That's fine with me. Text me as per usual, plaything, understood?"

Lily nodded. "I understand, Mistress."

Magnolia began to collect her belongings. Lily stood there, quietly watching her, before she took off. Magnolia kissed them deeply, spending a moment only focused on them - a moment Lily wanted to list forever. Her kiss was demanding, and Lily wished she had the time to just consume them, to take control of them, to use as her plaything. But that would have to wait.

Magnolia let go, gently patting Lily's shoulder. "I'll see you in the afternoon, Lily."

Lily smiled, and wiped the tears from their face. "Yes, Mistress."

She took off. The second the door closed behind her, Lily was left with the agonizing loneliness and silence once more. They sat on the couch, sitting motionlessly for a couple minutes.

It took all their effort, but... they had to follow Magnolia's orders. Maybe relying on one of their friends would help. Lily's heart felt light thinking about the road trip they had seconds after sending in the test.

That was the last time they truly felt free.

That road trip was the line in their "before" and "after".

Lily began to text Jenn, muttering to themself, "are... you... free... today..."

~~

Jenn and Lily had known each other for five years and had only last month found a bar they didn’t hate for one reason or another. They’d tried at least 30 different ones for biweekly meetups, tentatively agreeing on the mediocrity of each one. That was, until Jenn got really drunk, dragged Lily thirty miles out of the city on a whim (by train), and found a random sleazy-looking pub tucked away in a back alley. Oddly enough, it ended up being the perfect fit, so much so that the hour-long commute was fine for both of them.

One would think that the city proper would have a good arcade bar or two, but none of them compared to this one in basically the middle of nowhere. Maybe that was because there were virtually no crowds – no wait times, no screaming at each other to hear maybe 50% of the other’s voice, no asshole jocks Jenn would get in fist fights with. Bonus, the bartender actually remembered their names and their pronouns.

When Jenn texted Lily back that they could take the day off, it came as a huge relief, which somehow prompted them to start crying again. Otherwise Lily would have just been fucking around looking for something to “keep their mind occupied”. Jenn had gotten quite a few promotions since Magnolia got them a crappy office job, and they didn’t have to take out a single piercing for it. When they told Lily that they now had a month of vacation time, Lily felt briefly jealous, before remembering they didn’t have or need a job.

That was then. Now, Lily struggled to stay awake next to their casual partner on the train. Even with the caffeinated soda Lily drank in one sitting beforehand, their body still felt ready to collapse. It was nearly impossible to keep their eyes open.

They still hadn’t told Jenn. Well, kind of. They gave Jenn an abridged version of the situation on their spontaneous road trip, but it wasn’t like they had a moment to tell them the results, or anything like that…

Jenn wasn’t stupid, though, not like Lily. They patted Lily’s back and rubbed it gently. “You can nap if you want to,” they said coolly. “We’ve still got another 45 minutes.”

Lily rubbed their eyes and tried to straighten their back. “No, I’m… I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well.” Technically, they weren’t lying. Their voice was quiet and hushed, as if straining their vocal chords too hard would make them burst again. 

Jenn grabbed Lily’s side and dragged them onto their lap – Lily momentarily froze at the sudden intimate contact, allowing Jenn to gently pull their hair and pet them until they fell into a trance-like state.

“Yeah,” Jenn teased, “didn’t sleep well, sounds about right.”

Okay… if I just close my eyes for five minutes, it won’t be a big deal…

Lily closed their eyes. What felt like a second later, Jenn was rustling them awake. “Hey,” they gently said, “we’re here.”

“Huh?” Lily sat up, rubbing their eyes and looking around. Sure enough, Jenn wasn’t lying. The conductor walked up and down the hallway, ordering everyone to get off, shouting ‘last stop’ over and over again. It wasn’t usual for Lily to lose so much time like that these days; sure, they’d have moments of not knowing how long they’d be in the shower for, or losing track of time playing games, but…

Jenn patted Lily again. They stood up, brushing their pants off. Jenn grabbed Lily’s arm, dragging their sleepy body to its feet. Without thinking too hard about it, Lily followed Jenn, trying to shake off the remaining fatigue.

Luckily, the walk woke them up with ease. It was about a 15 minute walk, up some pretty steep hills. At first, they had to force their tired body to move, but once they were in the groove of it, movement came to them with ease. The steep hills leading to the bar gave their mind something else to focus on.

The news lingered in the back of their head, continuously trying to grab Lily’s mental attention. Lily shook their head gently, pushing themself off of Jenn and onto their feet.

The bar wasn’t exactly right next to the train station, but Lily could use the hike. Even with how much their legs ached, walking with a friend was far better than sitting alone in their apartment.

Lily couldn’t tell if it was just them, but… it seemed like Jenn was more tense than usual, somehow. They were still friendly, and flirty, and ready to get Lily hot and bothered. But something in their attitude made the hairs on Lily’s skin stand. Were they bothering Jenn? Was Jenn sensing their tension and returning it in turn?

It’s probably just me, Lily resolved to believe. Maybe Jenn had their own problems, too. Hopefully it wasn’t anything nearly as bad as what Lily was going through. Either way, Jenn looked ready to have a good time, and so did they.

As per usual, when they got to the bar, it was empty as could be – save for the one bartender. He gently nodded at Jenn and Lily and tossed two menus on the table, silently welcoming them in. Looks like he added a couple new anarchist posters.

“Love this place,” Jenn commented as they took their seat.

“Right,” Lily nodded. They picked up the menu and scanned it, as if they weren’t going to order the same damn drink made the same damn way again.

And then – surprising no one – they ordered the same thing. A screwdriver with sprite and cranberry juice. Jenn smirked at them, and ordered a tall glass of hard tequila, as if to show off their ability to drink what tasted like poison.

“You have such a sweet tooth,” Jenn teased.

Lily grinned back. “And you have… you have something much worse.” Despite their elated mood, they weren’t quite ready to dish out some comebacks.

“Yeah?” Jenn smirked. “And what’s that?”

Lily's grin faltered, realizing they hadn't thought that far ahead. "You have... um... an anti-sweet tooth!" Lily flushed harder as Jenn's smile widened with faux-pity at their futile attempt. "You -- you don't like sweet things, which means, um... I'm too sweet for you!"

"Uh-huh," Jenn nodded, their voice a sarcastic monotone. "Yeah, you're so sweet, that everyone wants to take a bite out of you. Maybe that's why you're such a hit at those parties."

Lily balled their hands into fists, their mind drifting back to all those times they were strapped down, handcuffed, bound in rope, and used any which way their 'patron' wanted. Oh, how hot it would be to be there again... but no! They couldn't let Jenn win this silly fight.

"W-well, yeah! Sweet things make you less stressed! Which means I'm such a good stress reliever!"

Jenn leaned against the bar counter. "You know, it's really cute watching you try to be toppy, and instead just affirming how much of a needy bottom you are."

"N-nooo," Lily whimpered. When Jenn put it like that, yeah, they were losing their flirty argument pretty miserably. "I'm not... a *total* bottom!"

"Really?" Jenn raised their eyebrows and gave a confident smirk.

Before Lily could double down on their claim, Jenn grabbed their head, and shoved it downward with complete ease. Lily's body contorted to Jenn's forceful hand like a knife cutting through warm butter. "I- I- ahhh, um..."

"Yeah," Jenn shook their head. "You'll have to try a bit harder to show that you've got some backbone."

Lily fumed. Something about Jenn's statement didn't quite feel right. Especially after their last few hours of insubordination... Lily had grown some backbone, hadn't they? Had they not, they wouldn't have even dreamed of pulling those stunts. Then again, maybe Lily didn't have a backbone -- maybe their stupidity just took a new form.

"But it's not like you need to be any different," Jenn teased. "After all, like you said, you are good for relieving stress. Maybe that's how Magnolia makes it through long workdays, getting to use you as stress relief every morning, evening, weekend, whenever." Once again, a pang of guilt ran through Lily's heart. Whatever they'd been doing, it certainly hadn't been relieving their Mistress of any stress. Then again... Jenn didn't need to know that. Lily agreed by whimpering like a lost puppy.

"And as it turns out..." Jenn grasped their hair harder. Was the bartender even paying attention? Lily didn't know, they couldn't see anything above them. All they knew was Jenn's overpowering presence looming over them. "I've had quite a stressful week. So I could actually use some stress relief in my day, hmm?"

"You... um, you have?" Lily stammered. "Um -- me too." Stressful was putting it lightly, but they could leave it at that. "I've had... a really... really... stressful week..."

"Hmmm," Jenn pulled Lily's head back up. "Seems we're hanging out at the right time, then. I get to relieve my stress on you, and you get to forget about your stress while I do so! Isn't that a win-win, cutie?"

Lily giggled. "You... you want to, um... do stuff?"

Jenn nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'd love to do 'stuff' with you, lewd things, like holding hands, and petting your head, and playing Minecraft."

Lily obviously knew that Jenn was being ironic. Obviously they meant using Lily as a fleshlight, a punching bag, or both. Or something else entirely. They couldn't say they were opposed at all. It *would* help them forget about real life.

“So…” Lily blushed. As their hands played with one another, one finger crossed their wedding ring. A pang of guilt shot through them as they briefly remembered the times they’d spoken back to their Mistress, disobeyed her, ran away in the pouring ran in the middle of the night from her… but Jenn wasn’t their Mistress. Jenn was a friend who happened to enjoy Domming Lily, no permanent strings attached. “You’ll, um… help me relieve some stress?”

“Yeah, what else am I here for?”

Lily giggled, their cheeks flushed a bright red. Jenn pulled back for a moment and paused the mood for a split second. “Don’t you need to ask Magnolia, though?”

Lily froze, the giddy smile on their face slowly melting. Right. They did. If they wanted to prove that they were a good submissive, then… they had to keep following protocol, as per usual…

“Y-yeah,” Lily said nervously, beginning to pull out their phone. “I should… probably do that first…”

Jenn scoffed and teased Lily’s hair. “What, are you getting rebellious or something?!”

“N-no!” Lily shouted a bit louder than they would have liked. Jenn’s comment was clearly a joke, but their shouting startled them. Fuck, fuck, they were screwing things up again…

They shook their head. There was no need to think like that. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Yeah, um, we just had kind of an argument. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Jenn exhaled. “You’re all good. Text Magnolia, I need another shot anyways.”

Lily nodded, the remorse in their heart melting. Swiftly, they typed.

> Mistress, could I be Dommed by Jenn today while I’m with them?

They pressed send. And then froze once more.

Fuck. They forgot something important.

> Love, Lily

>Sorry

Lily stared into the phone as if it were hypnotizing them. Their heart raced as they saw Magnolia beginning to type. Time felt as if it were moving at a snail’s pace. Panic built in Lily at a lightning speed, until–

> Remember next time, plaything. You know better.

Lily wasn’t sure whether they should feel affirmed in their status as Magnolia’s property, or intense guilt that they forgot something so damn simple.

> Yes you may. Just wash your hands after. I’ll expect a detailed report, so I can do worse to you later.

Lily flushed even harder, their hands shaking.

"Oh? She say something?" Jenn tilted their head.

"Y-yeah," Lily said. "Just teasing me more..."

"Oh noooooo, what a nightmare, being teased by a hot tall dominant lady in a suit, whatever would you do in that situation?"

Lily covered their face in their hands, and quickly texted back. Meanwhile, Jenn turned to the counter, and set their half-full glass down. "We just need to go to the bathroom," they said to the bartender, "we're not leaving without paying, just so you know."

"Yeah," the bartender shrugged. "I'm not worried."

Just as Jenn and Lily were standing up, the bartender stopped them again.

"Here, take this." The bartender stopped them. Lily turned around in the seat, and the bartender handed them a sharpie. "You can use this."

"Huh?" Lily furrowed their eyebrows, laughing a little. "W-why?"

“You two are not subtle. I don’t even think you were trying.” He shrugged non committedly. "You'll see. Enjoy the hot lesbian sex."

Lily snorted hard, covering their mouth. They didn't know what they expected the bartender to say, but it definitely was not that. They laughed, the noises muffled, in sheer humiliation. How would he know something like that? They weren't being that obvious, right?

"I'll put an out of order sign 'til you're done."

"Wh--"

Before Lily could ask more questions, Jenn grabbed their wrist, grinned, and interjected. "Yeah we're gonna have an amazing fucking time, no pun intended!"

Lily felt their head was ready to burst. Jenn just *admitted* it so casually? Lily was pulled away, across the bar, into the private bathroom. Lily's hands were still clasped over their mouth, trying not to cackle like a maniac.

Jenn shut and double-locked the door behind them. "That guy's the one true ally."

"How -- how did you just *say all of that?!*" Lily gasped, trying to keep their voice low.

"He's clearly seen worse." Jenn motioned their head to a poster at the wall. Lily turned their attention to it. On a sheet of printer paper, written in depleted printer ink and comic sans--

"Rules of the bathroom

  1. Don't flush condoms down the toiler

  1. Don't do drugs harder than cocaine

  1. If you have cocaine you're legally obligated to give me some

  1. Don't call the cops

  1. You can only have consensual sex here, anything else and I'll call the cops"

That was... the list. There wasn't even a sign saying "Employees must wash their hands before returning to work" or anything like that. Instead, what was next to the bewildering sign was... a list, written on the wall in various sharpies.

"List of Queerios who've been here"

It would have been offensive on its own, but there was a list of no less than fifty people -- some even writing their names on the same line. Had Lily never been to the bathroom here before? How did they never notice this?

"O.M.G. I wonder if any celebrities have been here." Jenn and Lily scanned the list, trying to answer that exact question. They didn't see any celebrities, at least not one they knew.

But they did see one name that shocked both of them. In worse handwriting than they knew from him--

"69. Pierre Beaumont + guy I met 20 min ago (name unknown)"

"No fucking way," Jenn cackled with laugher. "Pierre was here? Pierre *had hookup sex here?*"

Lily chuckled awkwardly. So much information they weren't expecting in the last two weeks. "Should we... um, go somewhere--"

"Nope. We committed to having sex here. Ally Bartender is rooting for us."

Jenn grabbed one of Lily's wrists, and dragged them over to the wall. The wall with names of people who've fucked here. In mere seconds, Lily was pinned to the wall. The overwhelming nature of Jenn's dominance was different from Magnolia's, but they were two sweet, delicious flavors. Jenn was more playful, more silly, but still threatening all the same.

"So..." Jenn cupped Lily's chin. "Why don't I be your Master again, ditz?"

Lily grinned nervously, shrinking in their Master's presence. "Y-yes. I'd love that, Master."

"Oh, I know you would. I would have made you want it even if you said you wouldn't." Jenn pressed Lily's body further up against the wall, emphasizing their fleeting power over Lily. With every forceful movement, every shove, Lily fell deeper and deeper into subspace. Whatever attempts they made at showing any semblance of power had long sizzled away.

Which was preferred. Along with their futile attempts to top Jenn, or anyone at that, all their stress and panic disappeared into the wind. All they could focus on was their Master-for-a-day, and what plans they had for Lily's poor body.

Jenn kept Lily pinned to the wall as they lowered themself. They lowered their head. Lily gulped with anticipation as Jenn's mouth opened, ready to bite... but Lily's skin remained unpinched. They opened their eyes cautiously, heavily panting, to see Jenn biting their shirt and pulling it up with their teeth alone. Where had they learned to bite so hard? Their teeth slid against Lily's torso as they came undone.

Once their biting did enough work, Jenn let go of Lily's wrists and pulled their shirt up -- over their chest, over their head... but not over their hands. "Keep that there, would you?"

With a wink from Jenn, Lily immediately remained frozen from the order alone. Be it their Mistress Magnolia, or their occasional Domme Jenn, or literally anyone else, Lily was at the whims of whoever wanted to play with them. And that was exactly how they wanted it.

Lily's floral bra and their toned waist were completely exposed to Jenn. But that wasn't enough. Jenn tore off Lily's pants in the blink of an eye, once again keeping them at their feet. Lily was bound not by rope, not by handcuffs, not even by hypnosis -- they were bound by their own clothes, and an order from their friend. Pinned to a wall of a sleazy bathroom that has been used by dozens of lust-controlled couples, stripped to lingerie and at Jenn's mercy... they felt like trash, or worse. And they loved it.

"This suits you," Jenn teased. "This is where you belong, y'know? What you're best at, your whole purpose in life, is just to be someone's toy. Right next to the rest of their sex toys. That's all you're good for, toy -- serving the people in charge of you in whatever way they want, without a single complaint or mess-up."

"I..." Lily's mood dropped. Every word of Jenn's affirmation felt like an almost-intentional stab to their pride. That was... their purpose. And the last day, they'd done nothing of the sort. Did that mean they were useless? Meaningless, worthy of being tossed out?

Jenn almost immediately picked up on Lily's shift in mood. "Was that too far?"

Lily looked away, their body and breath tense. "I... um..." Even though their mood was undone quite a bit, focusing in subspace was still a huge challenge.

Jenn cupped Lily's chin -- with a dominant touch, and a comforting vibe. "It's okay. Talk to me if you want. And we can stop if you want to."

Lily shook their head. "N-no, I don't want to stop! I just..." They lowered their voice and their head. "Could you... lighten up on the degradation? Um, specifically on the... life purpose stuff, and all that..."

"Of course." Jenn gave them a smile, a warm and reassuring one. "This is supposed to be fun, Lily. For both you and me." Jenn trailed a single finger down Lily's cheek. "Of course it's fun to toy with you, and of course you're a natural at being a subby puppy... but you've got more to you than that. I mean, we met because we bonded over art and creativity, didn't we?" Lily's smile returned and they nodded. "Not to mention, you game, and have some incredible muscle, and are one of the rare people who enjoys running. I'm happy to be your friend, y'know?"

Lily was still immobilized, but Jenn wrapped their arms around Lily in a tight, possessive hug. "You're mine for a bit, but you're also your own person, Lily."

Lily hummed, closing their eyes. "Thanks, Master."

Jenn grinned at the title. "Of course. Shall we resume?"

Lily nodded eagerly, their worries beginning to dissolve once again. Their life's purpose was primarily to serve Magnolia, to serve others in general, but there was more to them than that.

There had to be.

Jenn's hands trailed down to Lily's panties, quickly cutting off their brain circuits again. Lily went right back to stammering and shivering like a hopeless submissive. Jenn traced their fingers across the hem of Lily's panties, staring at their crotch like they were a piece of meat. A prize, a trophy of sorts. Their hand crawled down and gently felt up Lily's folds through their panties.

Lily began panting in anticipation. Almost from zero to one hundred, their arousal built up exponentially. "Wow," Jenn whistled. "I knew you'd be turned on by this point, but I didn't know you'd be as soaked as a water slide. Good for me, I don't need to worry about if you're having fun."

Jenn undid their jacket and took off their tank top, throwing it casually against the other wall. With their hand back on Lily's panties, circling torturously close to their clit, Jenn leaned in and closed the distance. The two of them locked in a furiously passionate kiss, both of their lips making out as if they'd been starved for attention. Lily's moans were trapped in Jenn's throat, silencing their gentle pleas for more.

Master Jenn made the next move. It wasn't like Lily was going to. Their hand slid underneath Lily's panties and effortlessly filled Lily's cunt with two fingers.

"Aah--" Lily froze up, their body melting soon after into Jenn's touch. Against Jenn's increasingly rough finger-fucking, Lily's body lost all its strength. It didn't matter how much muscle Lily had or how they could crush a watermelon between their thighs. When someone showed any ounce of dominance in front of them, all that would become moot. They weren't the type to fight back.

    Being a human fleshlight may not have been their whole life's purpose, but they were certainly really fucking good at it.

    Jenn released their hand from Lily's pussy, leaving the poor sub whining and moaning. They hadn't noticed how close they were to orgasm until Jenn left them edged and denied. "Don't whine like that," they teased. "I'll be right back to fucking you until you can't stand soon."

    "Y-yes, Master..."

    "Good plaything." Jenn reached behind their own neck and undid the clasp keeping their necklace together. They tugged it off, revealing the long metal rod attached to it--

    Oh. Lily knew what that was.

    "You didn't think you'd be the only one getting any kind of pleasure, did you?" Jenn teased. "Don't worry. I came prepared."

    Jenn pressed a tiny button on the rod, and it began to vibrate. Lily drooled looking at it, but knew they weren't going to be the one rewarded with it. Jenn undid their belt, opened their pants, and shoved it into their underwear. Immediately after, they let out a long, indecent moan, not caring in the slightest who could hear. They descended to their knees, using their hands to keep Lily's thighs spread and keep themself steady.

    "Shouldn't..." Lily gasped for air. "Shouldn't we... be a bit quieter..."

    "Shut up," Jenn quipped, their voice equally as pleasured. Lily could feel their hot breath against their crotch. "Shouldn't you be using that mouth to praise me?"

    "Um... I... yes?"

    "You're asking me?" Jenn licked their lips and pulled down Lily's underwear.

    "Y-yes, I should, Master Jenn..."

    Jenn smirked. "And using it to degrade yourself, right?"

    Lily flushed and nodded. They knew the best insults to give themself in that moment, even if Jenn or Magnolia didn't. "Yes... Master Jenn..."

    "So?" Jenn lightly licked Lily's clit. "Get on with it. I'll let you cum when..." they licked again, "when I've decided you've done enough, got it?"

    "Yes, Master Jenn!"

    Jenn moaned into Lily's cunt as the vibrations hit them like a truck. Lily sang out praises to Master Jenn, worshiping their beauty, strength, talent, dominance, all the while diminishing their own intelligence, wisdom, and inability to conquer anyone or anything. They were Jenn's toy; they were a toy, period. All the decisions in their life should only be made by people with brains, intelligence, any kind of wit. The kind of person who wouldn't sell themself to an auction house out of desperation.

    Lily was edged over and over -- every time Jenn didn't like something Lily said, or didn't think it was praiseworthy enough, they'd slow down, all the while emphasizing how much fun they were having with a hard vibrating rod deep inside them. They weren't sure how many times they'd praised Jenn or degraded themself. At one point, they ran out of words and started repeating themself -- of course, only leading to Jenn laughing harder at them.

    Neither of them knew how many hours had passed. In a daze, Lily looked at the clock, and saw it was 3:30pm. Was that 30 minutes after they started or three hours? They didn't know. They didn't care. All they cared about was the pleasure, the thrill, the meaning in submission, and the desperate need to orgasm.

    Jenn eventually came, letting out their orgasm moans into Lily's cunt. Lily lived vicariously through Jenn's orgasm, needing the same for themself. Their brain was melting out of their ears. All they could use their remaining wit for was dreaming of how it would feel to climax -- how it would feel to be given permission.

    Luckily for them, Jenn didn't keep them waiting any longer.

    "Come," was all they said. Lily joyfully obliged.

    The two of them rode out their powerful, intense orgasms together, feeling the warmth of each other's bodies and the sweat and pleasure and lust. Lily's eyes rolled back in their head. Distantly, they wondered if they should have asked Magnolia for permission to climax. And yet, they couldn't think about it too hard. Their body, mind, and soul were too busy riding their climax like a speeding train.

    And eventually, it ended. Jenn and Lily sat on the bathroom floor -- an oddly comfortable feeling. Lily stayed closed to Jenn, cuddled into a ball. Their body felt light, as if it were reborn -- all the despair, fear, and pain they felt, melting away with their passionate sex.

    "This was fun," Lily said quietly.

    "Yeah," Jenn sighed. "Definitely the stress relief I needed."

    Lily looked down at the floor, and cuddled harder into Jenn. "Wanna... talk about it?" The world knew they needed a vent session more than anything, probably even more than Jenn.

    "Aftercare rant session?" Jenn teased.

    "Sounds good," Lily exhaled. "Let's... get up in a bit."

    'A bit' lasted five, ten, fifteen minutes. Eventually, though, they sat up, and left the bathroom, leaving their scents behind.

    Jenn left after writing their names on the wall, and 'god, what a slut' next to Pierre's name.

~~

    "So, you first," Jenn offered, swinging their cup around mindlessly.

    "Um, really?" Lily averted their eyes. "Well... if you say so. Um, you remember the test I got? The one for, um, the genetic cancer thing?"

    Jenn's face softened, their body relaxing into the chair. "Yeah, I remember."

Lily looked at their drink, biting their lip. How do they even break the news? Jenn knew they were getting that test, but Lily hadn't mentioned anything since. They clutched onto their glass hard, cautious not to break it. They could, if they really wanted to.

"That test came back," Lily muttered.

Jenn leaned in. "It did?"

"Yeah." Lily sighed. "One came back positive. MSH2. It's called Lynch syndrome, that's what my genetic counselor said."

"Huh. I haven’t heard of it. Sounds… scary.”

That was not the reaction Lily was expecting. They weren't expecting Jenn to break into sobs with them, but the way they hummed was just... nonchalant.

"What does that mean?" Jenn continued.

Okay, maybe they just didn't understand. "I'm like." Lily raised a hand, palm down, as high as they could, to emphasize the point. "At really, really, *really* high risk of like, 12 different kinds of cancer. Like 80 percent! I need all these dumb screenings yearly now. I probably need to get a hysterectomy soon, which I'd never even consider."

Jenn cocked their head. "Wow. Damn. I’m sorry. Did you want kids?"

Once again, Lily was off put by the question. Was Lily... thinking this was more serious than it actually was? No, right? Jenn's answers just seemed so... casual. Like as if Lily were talking about losing a match in Pokken. They had to pause, try to comprehend Jenn's dismissive demeanor, and then continued.

"I... I don't know? I didn't, I think so, but I would have liked -- like to have the option, you know? Because I... maybe it would have worked for me, and, and Magnolia has been, uh... doing stuff to me that's been making me think more about it, but I can't now, I don't even have that decision." Lily didn't tear up again - surprisingly - they could go over their pregnancy grief with Magnolia later - but they *did* bury their face in their hands.

"Well, you've said before you wouldn't make a good parent." Jenn twirled the braid in their hair mindlessly. "So maybe it's for the best."

"...It's for the best?" Lily repeated. They... was their stress all in their head? It was like Jenn didn't even care. Did Jenn not understand? Or was Lily just expecting support for something that wasn't actually that important?

Jenn took their repetition as agreement and continued. "Yeah. I've had friends who get hysterectomies before. The recovery is the worst part, but you've got Magnolia, and she'll definitely take good care of you." Jenn nudged Lily with their elbow. Lily blinked, shaking their head slightly.

That wasn’t—

"You're gonna be okay," Jenn said. "Here, I've got some bullshit office drama that'll cheer you up. You wanna hear?"

Lily wasn’t sure if they were done venting in the slightest, or got the support they needed, but Jenn began speaking before they could.

“I… I guess?”

"I, like, need to get this off my chest, it's so frustrating." Lily was nothing less than dumbfounded. With their face in shock, and Jenn not picking up the cue, they continued.

“So I’ve been crushing on this manager, right? And she’s been crushing on me back. We haven’t like, made the move obviously, considering it could get her fired. I just found out she’s moving to another department, which I thought, cool, that means we can date now, right?”

Lily wasn’t sure they were actually hearing the words out of Jenn’s mouth. But mindlessly, they nodded, screaming in anger in the back of their head.

“But it turns out that she and her boss — the head of our department — have been dating this whole time, even though she knows it could get him fired! And the reason she’s transferring to a new department was so she could keep dating him and stay under the radar… and here we were, talking about future dates and going to Europe together, like, might as well ask to marry me and then find out she meant ‘as a friend’.”

Lily turned back to the glass in their hand, and gently spun it, focusing on the movement of the water. They usually meditated best while watching water move. They couldn’t explain why.

“And that’s not the end of it even,” Jenn lightly pushed Lily’s shoulder. “She and this boss are now working remotely so they can live together and move halfway across the country.” Jenn groaned in frustration. “And to top it all off, there’s this awful dude in my department who snitched on my boss today that she and I were involved, but when my manager and boss talked about it, she swung it and made me look like the bad guy, so I got written up for… I don’t even fucking know anymore. And to top it off, this snitch did this because she slept with my manager. And of course, my boss doesn’t know about this, and my manager — former manager — is being completely tight-lipped about it. Literally, I want to write a resignation note with our text logs attached.”

Lily clenched their shorts with their fists. "That... sounds annoying."

"Yeah! And I mean, like, now my favorite coworker is going to a different department because she slept with a snitch. Things are going to be so lonely now."

Every word that came out of Jenn's mouth infuriated them more. It was like they were ballooning with anger. They... they didn't even really understand why. It wasn't like Jenn was saying cruel things or being insensitive, they were just... dismissive. Was that really a good basis for fury?

Lily had to force the words from their teeth. "Sorry to hear."

"Yeah," Jenn sighed. "I'm gonna miss them so much, even if this is how things ended. They should have slept with me instead. They should have picked me."

"Uh-huh." All Lily wanted to do was call a rideshare home and spend the rest of the afternoon punching various holes in the walls, or beating n00bs on Pokken to get their anger out. 

Lily had kept it together through Jenn's inane rant. But then-

"This is like, the worst thing that's happened to me."

It was obviously an exaggeration. A joke. But it was the wrong time, wrong place, wrong point in Lily's life, and the drop of water that made the glass overfill.

"Shut the fuck up."

Lily didn't notice the words coming out of their mouth. Jenn followed the command immediately, out of pure shock. The bartender turned to them and began to steep some tea.

"Wh...what?" Jenn asked with a mixture of bewilderment, defensiveness, and impatience.

Lily slammed on the bar counter. Jenn flinched at the loud noise, but Lily didn't care or notice. "I said shut the fuck up!" they exclaimed. "I don't care about your stupid office drama! I don't have the energy to care! Do you even see what's happening in my life right now? Do you really think I have some... some kind of mental capacity to take on your problems, too?"

"Lily, what — what’s gotten into you?” Jenn gasped. "You're being so harsh. I’ve never seen you like this! I was just venting. I thought it’d make you laugh, feel better."

"Don’t give me that! You wanted to vent?! That’s what I was doing for a genuinely terrible and traumatic experience! Your office drama is gonna impact you for like, a month, and this is going to follow me for the rest of my damn life! Do you even care?! You didn't even pretend you were listening!"

Lily didn't think for a millisecond before continuing their rant. Jenn stared into their frustrated eyes with frustration back.

“You… you don’t care about me! You don’t care about anything I’m going through! You don’t understand, I shouldn’t have expected you to!”

Before Lily could continue, Jenn stopped them. "Bitch, quiet down."

Bitch.

Huh.

When was the last time someone other than Magnolia insulted them?

When was the last time *a friend* insulted them?

"Okay, alright, I'll stop venting about my office drama. But next time you can just ask, y'know? You shouting like this, it's --" Jenn looked away. "It's going to give me a panic attack. So... if you’re in this bad of a mood, let's just pay the tab and go back."

Lily's mouth quivered. They were no less angry than before, but having Jenn get so angry with them - maybe... rightfully so? It made them freeze. Lily clutched onto their arms, looked away, and muttered, "fine. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Thanks for apologizing," Jenn said, their voice cooling down as well. "It means a lot."

In reality, Lily wasn't actually sorry. They were too angry to rationalize their conversation. But the fact they apologized sucked, and Jenn *accepting* their apology made them even more hurt.

“You can vent more on the train back, if you want,” Jenn offered in a soft voice.

“I’m good, thanks.”

Lily slammed their credit card on the bar counter, paid, and left with Jenn. Neither of them said a word to each other for the rest of the day.

~~

Lily arrived home later than they were hoping, but still before their Mistress. Phew. That was one more stressor they didn’t want on their plate.

If they were being honest, the first thing they wanted to do was punch a hole in the wall. It wasn’t like they couldn’t do something like that, physically. The image of Magnolia punishing them for something like that was the only thing keeping the idea out of the realm of possibility. 

They sat down on the couch, trying to physically ground themself. Lily, in all actuality, was pissed. The one light drink they had has mostly worn off. Lily spent the rest of the train ride barely speaking to Jenn. Jenn obviously got the impression something they said pissed Lily off. After two attempts of pressing Lily to actually communicate, Jenn just let them be.

Lily turned around and left in a speed walk.

They felt like an asshole.

Why was what Jenn said so aggravating? Lily spent maybe five minutes talking about their terrible situation and the effect it was having on their relationship, only for Jenn to monopolize the conversation talking about some bullshit office drama that didn’t actually matter. At least, not to Lily.

Lily’s house was on fire, and Jenn had come to them complaining about their broken fire alarm. 

“What?!” Lily metaphorically shrieked, “I don’t have the time! My house is on fire!”

“Yeah okay, but my fire alarm is going off, let me spend two hours telling you why this is more important,” Jenn metaphorically quipped back.

At least wait until my house is no longer on fire. At least wait until I can take on your problems, too… Lily’s hands clenched in their legs. They tried to stop themself from tearing up once more. What should have been a fun outing with a long-time friend ended up being nothing more than an annoyance. No. It ended up just hurting Lily more.

“I wish my problems could be chalked up to workplace politics,” Lily hissed to themself. 

Why did this feel so frustrating? Lily had been through worse, people had done worse things to them than complain about mundane problems to someone going through something more pressing.

Usually, when Lily got too frustrated, it would mean Kassandra coming out. But... no. They were angry, as themself. It was a strange feeling. Sure, they'd feel things like resentment or frustration. Perhaps a hint of cynicism, here and there. But blind rage? It wasn't a feeling they knew they even had in them. They wanted Jenn to hurt. They wanted to hurt Jenn. More so, they wanted that desire to go away, go away, go away.

Maybe it was easier to be angry at a person than their fucked up situation.

A genetic cancer diagnosis versus office drama. No matter how one looked at it, one carried more weight than the other.

Why didn't Jenn *understand that*?

Lily felt separated from Jenn, like they were in a whole different world. They got the feeling that wouldn’t be the last time.

Their fury made them feel like their body was about to combust. Lily grabbed a nearby throw pillow, buried their face in it, and screamed. They screamed, and screamed, curling further into a ball as they did.

Eventually, they burst, the anger replaced by pounding grief once again. Screams turned into sobs. Lily wasn't sure how many times they had burst into tears that day. They probably would have lost count. Any minor inconvenience, any faux pas from a good friend, lit them like a firework. Somehow, their fuse had been cut in half.

Lily wasn't sure how long they laid on the couch, curled into a ball after their sobbing stopped. The house was dead silent. Magnolia -- they wished she were there with them.

They wished she would comfort them, hold them as long as they needed.

But even she didn't understand. She probably would have scolded them for throwing a fit over something this ridiculous.

Maybe it was better that she wasn't there.

At least, Lily thought she wasn't.

A hand gently touched their shoulder. Startled, Lily pulled themself out of their ball and shot up. Their eyes immediately met Magnolia's. The raging fire they felt earlier shifted into shock.

"Mistress, I--"

Their vocal chords burned from their earlier screaming, leaving their voice raspy and nearly silent. Lily didn't even know what they were going to say. Which was fine, because Magnolia immediately interrupted them. "Shh," she hushed quietly. "It's okay. You don't need to talk right now."

Lily accepted that offer. It felt weird to not reply to her... their throat was so sore, even breathing hurt a little. Magnolia sat down next to them; with no energy left in their body, Lily leaned against Magnolia's for support. She continued gently petting them. For the first time since Lily got that call, they felt safe, comforted, supported. And, they felt guilty for assuming she would do anything except care for them.

Lily's eyelids closed. The exhaustion had hit them like a truck. Their head felt as if it were splitting open, but even that felt like a distant feeling.

Finally, they mustered up the energy to speak. As if Magnolia had used the autopilot trigger, they questioned without thinking, "how long have you been here, Mistress?"

Magnolia didn't answer immediately. "I came home a few minutes after you did."

Lily winced. "Did you hear me screaming?"

Magnolia didn't answer that question at all. She shifted the topic, "what happened? Where did you go?"

Lily tensed up. They didn't want to talk about it, especially with their voice so painful and torn. But their Mistress asked them a question. They had to respond. And they couldn't lie. "I spent time with Jenn. We went to the bar that's out of town."

"Ah, yes," Magnolia murmured. "And?"

"We... got into a fight. Well, not really. They -- well, I told them about what happened yesterday, the, um, result. And I guess they comforted me a little?" For about two minutes, Jenn did so. "But then they started venting about some..." Lily's fists clenched. "Minute problem? At work? Like, something about their boss dating a manager, or something stupid like that. And they spent thirty minutes talking about it. And then I--"

Lily paused, hiccuping as tears began to form again. Magnolia stroked them gently, giving them space to collect themself. "I told them to shut up."

"...Huh." Magnolia responded with genuine surprise. Which made sense -- Lily wasn't the kind of person to tell people off like that. "Continue."

"I... I slammed the bar counter, and told them I didn't want to hear about it anymore. That I didn't care. I didn't have the energy to care. I asked them if they even cared about what I was going through, and said they clearly didn't. Then they fought back, told me that I was being a bitch and that I needed to cool it because it was making them have a panic attack."

Lily curled into Magnolia's arms, the safest place they had. "Then we finished our drinks in silence, didn't talk on the train home, and... now I'm here."

Lily sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. It's a stupid thing to scream into a pillow about."

Magnolia's grip tightened. "No, it isn't. Don't call yourself or your actions stupid; only I'm allowed to do that."

That made Lily smirk a little, some lightness returning to their mind. Magnolia continued, "Jenn might not immediately understand your situation, and that's okay. But they should know that what you're going through is much more severe and significant than some office drama that -- you're right -- probably doesn't matter. What Jenn is going through won't follow them their whole life, like your problems will."

Something about Magnolia's words made them break down again. How did she understand this better than Lily did? "How do you... how do you know what to say, Mistress? I... I thought you would tell me how stupid I'm being..."

Magnolia shook her head. "I used my time at work to do some research on the matter. It's my company, I can do what I want with my time there. I... I wanted to support you, plaything."

"M-Mistress," Lily broke into quiet sobs again.

Magnolia shook her head. "You obviously don't have the bandwidth to take on other people's problems right now. You got this diagnosis yesterday, for fuck's sake. You -- you probably could have done a better job, but you set a boundary, and Jenn made it about their anxiety."

She lightly kissed Lily's forehead. "You need grace right now. Patience. Jenn didn't provide that, and you reacted as most people would. Do you understand, Lily?"

Lily took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, Mistress. I understand. Thank you... thank you for saying this. Thank you--" they choked, "for being here with me."

The two of them sat like that for... neither of them knew how long. Lily's mind was scrambled. Sadly, not from an intense hypnosis session or anything like that. But at least their Mistress was keeping them grounded.

Finally, Lily began to stand up. "I'll... I'll prepare for dinner. I'm sorry I didn't--"

Magnolia grabbed Lily's wrist, stopping them in their tracks. Lily looked back at Magnolia, their eyes widened.

"There's no need," she said.

Normally, that would have been a good thing. But Lily's exhausted, strained mind took her words in bad faith. "...Huh? B-but, I need to, it's--"

"Sit back down."

It was an order. Lily had to obey. Reluctantly, and with a pit in their stomach, they sat down in the same spot. "What's... what's going on?"

Magnolia grabbed Lily's hands and held them tightly. Oh no. Lily didn't like how this looked.

"I'm pausing your training," she spoke slowly, "for at least the next two weeks."

Lily's heart shattered.

"Wh-what?" they exclaimed. "Why? What did I -- what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing!" Magnolia said firmly, and then lowered her voice again. "As things are now, you won't be able to truly learn to serve me in the way I was intending. So, we are waiting until you're ready."

"But--" Lily's mind raced. What was probably a kind gesture, an example of the grace she spoke of earlier, Lily saw it as the opposite. "That's -- I can serve you like you want! I promise! I'm... I'm your property, I need to act like it!"

Magnolia's face hardened. "And debating my decisions is acting like it?"

Once again, Lily should have stopped there, and let their Owner guide them as usual. But they fought back. They weren't sure why.

"I... I can handle it, Mistress! This is -- this is just, um, I can just forget about it while you're training me!"

Magnolia sighed. "How do you arrange the utensils during lunch time?"

Lily's mouth opened. They knew that. That was part of the basics of their mealtime routine.

It was--

The order was--

Lily's mind continued to spin. Why couldn't they visualize it? Lily knew it. They knew how to -- how to organize tables. They knew! So why weren't they... why couldn't they reply? Not knowing that simple answer was like having an itch or not being able to reach it, or having a word forgotten at the tip of their tongue.

"It's... um..." Lily held a hand to their forehead, trying to calm the aching.

Magnolia deemed they were taking too long, and shut down their pitiful attempt. "Do you understand now, plaything? I can't train you in this state. We'll go back to how things were, until you're -- we're -- ready."

"I'm ready, Mistress!" Lily didn't even notice the tears falling down their cheeks. "I promise!"

"Lily, stop this, before I have to make you stop." Her words carried a threatening aura, as she held back the instinct to punish them severely. “Don’t you remember what I told you this morning? I’ve kept you smart enough for you to know this isn’t obedience.”

"Don't you want to enter the pageant?! Isn't that what you wanted?"

"What I want is for you to take your time, grieve, process, and not hurt yourself trying to prepare for some objectively meaningless contest."

"It's not meaningless!" Lily protested, tears forming in the corners of their eyes. "If you wanted to enter so badly, to win so badly, why are you doing this?!"

Magnolia released their hands, and stood up, towering over them. If Lily didn't pick up on the fury she was holding back, they definitely saw it then.

"Because you’re in no state to be trained, whether you want to admit it or not!”

Magnolia might as well have kicked Lily in the stomach. It would have hurt the same. Lily's arguing stopped, and all they could do was process what she said. Lily wasn't in a state to be trained? Magnolia saw them as a failing submissive, even if she didn't say it like that.

Lily held back their tears. They stood up, not saying anything. And then they backed up slowly, one step after the other. Lily's Mistress and Magnolia's submissive looked each other in the eye, with competing emotions, neither of them able to say anything further on the matter.

They weren't sure why, but Lily stormed out of the room, into the guest bedroom, and slammed the door shut. Magnolia tried to stop them, almost grabbing their arm, but she was a minute too late.

She didn't go after them.

~~

It didn't surprise Lily as much this time. This time when they woke up in the dreamscape. It didn't take long for them to orient themself to their bizarre, incomprehensible surroundings. The space felt oddly familiar to them. They couldn't understand it and didn't even want to try.

Lily looked around, numbly. No one was there, at least for that moment. Maybe this showed how Lily felt. Even while surrounded by friends and a Mistress that loved them, all they felt --

Loneliness.

Standing took too much effort, so they found the nearest piece of concrete and used it as a makeshift stool. Even sitting up took too much energy. They hunched over, looking at the ground, tracing circles on their thigh. Lily donned the same punky, colorful outfit they'd worn with Jenn, but they sure didn't feel the way they looked.

"Hey."

As if on cue, Kassandra's voice popped up. She waved her hand in front of Lily's face. Slowly, Lily rose to a more seated position. Their eyes remained pointed to the ground.

"Hi," Lily said in a dull, exhausted tone.

Kassandra just stared at Lily for what seemed like forever. Lily didn't have the energy to strike up a problem-solving conversation. They didn't have any energy for anything, period. They wanted the world to disappear, but not so they could wake up, just so they could sleep in peace once more.

Finally, they spoke. "Was that you?" they simply asked.

Kassandra crossed her arms. "With Jenn?"

"Yeah," Lily murmured.

Kassandra looked away, glancing at the broken, decaying skyscrapers and the gray clouds hovering over them. She sighed. "It wasn't... not me."

Lily clenched their fists. "So yes."

"Well, I- I don't know." Kassandra stuffed her hands into her pockets. She found a nearby rock, grabbed it, and threw it into the abyss. "I saw. I saw what Jenn was saying, the way they completely disregarded your -- quite frankly -- *more pressing* problems. It infuriated me, and I guess I - I guess I felt myself for a moment. And then they went on about how we were making them anxious, and I'm just like... what the fuck?! You get me?!"

Lily exhaled. The frustration was visible in their breath. "They didn't even care. They... couldn't even spend an afternoon... listening to me, supporting me... Magnolia can't even do that... Pierre probably can't, either..."

"He'd probably just make a joke about Machamp's ass," Kassandra snorted.

Lily smirked. "Honestly, that would probably make me laugh."

"Maybe you need more friends," Kassandra said casually. "I mean, do you really expect to live your whole life only knowing Pierre, Jenn, and Magnolia, right?"

She made a good point. Lily hadn’t made a single new friend in the last five years. They stuck to their tiny circle and never made attempts to get out there. "Where would I even find friends?" Lily mused.

Kassandra scoffed. "Maybe there are people like you and Magnolia." Lily cocked their head and leaned in to listen. "People who trust someone to completely control their life. I mean, there has to be, we've seen it. Maybe that's a good place to start."

Come to think of it, the convention would be a good place to meet people in the same place as Lily. The Pokken tournament kind of served the same purpose, though they'd lost contact with those friends long ago. "Yeah," Lily exhaled. "Maybe."

For a brief second, they didn't feel completely miserable. As expected, that feeling didn't last long. "Jenn then talked about how anxious they were, like -- do they not see what's happening? They're anxious because I told them I didn't want to hear about their problems? I'm anxious because I just found out I have a cancer gene from hell! My *life* is changing because of this! And what they care about is some office drama?! And that their friend got frustrated with them?! I wish those were my fucking problems!"

Lily didn't realize when they stood up and started shouting. Their hands scrunched their hair, pulling it up in anger. No strand broke, obviously.

Lily panted, and when they calmed down, they started crying again. "I wish... those were my problems..."

Kassandra stared at Lily for a moment, before walking over and wrapping her arms around them. "It's been a while since you've been *angry*." She embraced Lily closer. "I don't know if it was you or me or both of us who lashed out at Jenn. That doesn't matter right now. I... I can't change your genetics. I can't even try. But I'll still protect you, however I can."

They sobbed, and cried for as long as they needed to. Kassandra held them tight, keeping them safe.

And then--

Lily wiped their eyes – surprised they could even cry in a mental mindscape created by trauma – and turned around to find the voice. Kassandra had disappeared, fleeing away like a secret agent trying to hide their work. They could barely make out the voice, but it wasn’t theirs. It wasn’t Kassandra’s, or… or Chain’s. It wasn’t even anyone they knew in the outside world.

They squinted their eyes, looking across the skyscrapers, across the dull gray clouds passing over them.

Finally, they turned behind them, feeling a presence staring them down. A presence that carried a heavy pressure, like an anvil weighing them down on their shoulders.

They didn’t see anyone. Or anything, really. But for a second, the light in front of them shined brightly – almost too brightly – before dimming itself down. And if Lily could glance hard enough, they could see small blue flowers blooming in the air before disappearing completely. The being was ethereal. It left Lily only with dread.

“Who are you?” Lily asked, wearily.

They weren’t expecting to get an answer. But they heard a voice reply – not a familiar voice, by any means.

“Does it…”

They faded away. The voice became more distant, the light dimming out until it faded away completely like a ghost. Lily shook their head. No, they needed to know who this was! Maybe they had answers, answers to figure out what the hell to even do.

“Huh? Speak up, I can’t hear you!”

Another pause. And then–

“Does it matter?”

For a millisecond, they saw long, white hair. And then the world disappeared.

~~

Lily wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but they woke up from their dreamlike state immediately after they spoke. Lily whipped around, worrying a stranger might have abducted them or something stupid like that. But… they didn’t see anyone, or anything.

Desperately, they tried to remember that light, the small blue flowers, the voice they heard. Whose was it? It was the least of their problems now. And honestly, their brain doing more stupid shit to them was to be expected at this point.

Who were they? What were they?

“Does it… matter?” Lily repeated to themself quietly, looking at the palm of their hand. They weren’t sure how to answer, or if they could.

Soon enough, they went back into an empty void of sleep.

Side note: This story is, as you can guess, extremely personal to me. Writing it brings up some difficult emotions. This isn't a bad thing, to be clear. The next chapter might come a bit later, so I can take care of my mental health. I hope to have the next chapter done soon!

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