Lily didn’t know what to be more terrified of: the fact Indigo was here in the first place, or the fact that Magnolia was very clearly not happy about it. 

Nor did it seem like anyone else was happy to be trapped in the middle of this tense moment. Lily clutched their left hand tightly with their right. Said left hand gripped onto the fabric of their uniform, nearly tearing it at the seams. It was all they could do to prevent hyperventilating. Through the confusion and shock, it took a moment for Lily to even realize Magnolia had demanded them for some much-needed clarification. Ah, they should answer. They forced the mental gears in their head to turn, and spoke.

“I… she picked me up that night I got caught out in the rain, Mistress,” Lily murmured with an apologetic tone. A part of them wanted to – no, was screaming to – go and out Indigo for the bullshit she tried to pull, let alone in one of Lily’s most vulnerable moments. They bit their tongue. It wasn’t the time to cause a scene. Magnolia pursed her lips, seeming to accept this explanation, though she didn’t seem any more pleased with them.

“I remember that!” Indigo grinned viciously; her cheery tone betrayed her true intentions. Her smile was so villainous that Lily felt as though drinking bleach would feel better than being perceived by Indigo. “Glad you got home okay. I’m shocked, though, that your home was with her,” she added, snidely looking towards Magnolia.

Lily could only shuffle awkwardly, trying to keep their unnecessary motions to a minimum, struggling to hold together the proper posture for a submissive at this event. In their mind, their reminded themself to breathe. It was the least they could do.

As Indigo and Magnolia stared daggers at each other, a high-pitched, snide giggle came from behind Indigo. Or, two sets of high-pitched giggles befitting a high school clique. Ugh. Of course it had to be the two snarky servants acting like cheerleader bullies in a shitty YA movie. Didn’t they have anything better to joke about? There were so many better things to do than bully some random servant at a BDSM event.

Lily snarked some colorful insults towards Indigo… in their head, and they had to bite their tongue to avoid actually saying that and *keep their goddamn posture*. They were becoming too sarcastic for their own good, and they had to find a way to reel themself back in.

The Costco brand of the Plastics continued whispering amongst themselves. God, Lily hated the sound of whispering, especially intertwined with giggling and smirking their way. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard, probably for this very reason. They could have swore they saw Indigo wink at them in between another cunning smirk directed to their Mistress. But they were too stressed to compute if that actually happened. 

But before Lily could spend too long putting two and two together, Aiden and Ruby decided to take their own event back. “That’s enough of that. You all can continue this enlightening conversation over dinner, if you don’t mind.” Just like that, Aiden smoothly cut through the tension. Lily saw a few patrons taking large exhales. Leave it up to a good Dominant to command respect and order in the midst of chaos.

Lily’s heart ached.

“Now that that’s settled, we can get started on the entrees. Subs, please come grab plates for your prospective temporary Dommes.”

“Yes, Master,” the servants all chorused in unison as per protocol. They were very clearly trying to clear the thick tension from the air, and Lily was endlessly grateful for it. At the very least, they could postpone their inevitable punishment. 

I should safeword… I’m not welcome here. Maybe I should leave before this gets too ugly. Lily tried to grab their Mistress’ attention as quietly and subtly as possible, but she was too busy being locked in the most intense glaring war with Indigo. Lily sighed. It felt like they were hardly breathing at all. Protocol forbade them from locking eyes with anyone unless directed to – a shockingly hard rule to follow – but they were certain Magnolia’s eyes were glued to them, awaiting a more in depth explanation. Although, by an accidental glance, they briefly caught Ruby whispering something into Aiden’s ear. Whatever it was didn’t really matter. Before long, they managed to hide behind the safety of the kitchen walls.

And those girls were still snickering! What was their goddamn deal?! Lily was about to grab the plate with their designated number – 16 – but felt someone’s hand on top of their own. They whipped their head around and met Ruby’s eyes.

Quickly trying to do a read on what Ruby could be feeling about all that, they replied, “yes, Miss Ruby? Is something the matter?”

“We are going to switch Dominants,” she said quickly. “You’ll be serving Master Aiden. I know he’ll be good to you, and you’ll serve him well.”

“…Oh,” Lily blinked. Their instincts told them to ask why, in an attempt to garner validation, but they had neither the time nor the social standing to do so. “I understand. Thank you, Miss Ruby,” they bowed their head politely as they traded plates with Ruby’s.

The anxiety from the sudden request melted away, and in its place stood the sudden overpowering sense of imposter syndrome. The reality of the request hit them- they were serving the Master of the house. Why in the world had Ruby trusted them with that? Was she confident in Lily’s ability to do so, despite being a complete beginner? Or was she setting Lily up to humiliate themself (in the not fun way)? It seemed like certain people here were intent on doing so. If they failed, only certain death followed… probably.

Lily didn’t think that was the case. Or, they didn’t feel like that was the case. They didn’t get goosebumps around her, nor the sinking feeling that something bad was about to happen. Their instincts were usually on point. Either way, they didn’t have a choice. They gulped down their reservations and began to get back to work.

And when they began to do so, walking out from the kitchen, they found all eyes on them all of a sudden. 

Lily closed their eyes and tried their hardest to refocus. What if… what if they were in autopilot mode? They quickly tried to remember what that was like. What service was like, simply for someone who just… did it, without questions, hesitations, or feelings?

They inhaled, trying to remember those times Magnolia had put them in autopilot. Even just simply trying to capture the essence of that suggestion. With a lengthy exhale, Lily went to Aiden’s side and went back to their rituals. The stares, the imposter syndrome, both the sympathetic and detesting looks towards them – all of it went away.

In a way, it was oddly meditative, similar to the way they’d float listlessly in trance, being led to wherever. Or like dissociation as well, though Lily wasn’t sure that was a fitting metaphor and didn’t have the capacity to pick the definitions of ‘hypnosis’ and ‘meditation’ and ‘dissociation’ apart, especially not right now. They had to serve. 

At Aiden’s side, they lowered their head, put the dish in front of him, and kept their head lowered. At least this way they didn’t have to know whether people were still staring at them, though judging by the light – if awkward – conversations in the room, it seemed like the focus was slowly moving away from them.

Master Aiden began to pick at his food. “My servant is quite a good chef, you know?” he said casually to Lily - or someone else, they weren’t sure. “I do hope you’ll get to try her cooking in full sometime. You may raise your head, if you’d like.”

Lily did so, raising their head to meet Aiden’s eyes. They nodded and spoke, “thank you, Master Aiden.” Not quite a monotone, but devoid of their prior anxiety.

Aiden gave a warm smile to them. He seemed about to return to his conversation, and then had a moment of pause. “Actually, Lily, if you wouldn’t mind… my legs are quite sore from helping to prepare this event. I’d love a footrest, if you don’t mind.”

A few years ago, Lily probably would have said, ‘sure! Where can I find it?’ Now, of course, they knew how to listen to the pauses in between people’s words – the commands hidden in their pleasantries. Lily nodded, replied accordingly, and then scurried under the table, trying to look as dignified as possible. Once they got in proper position, Aiden wasted no time utilizing them as a footstool to his full delight.

Not even noticing, Lily breathed a long, deep sigh of relief. Now they could relax. As much as they forced themself to go outside and talk to new people, being in a dark, tight hiding spot like under the table still felt the most safe. Naturally, they felt their brain return to its usual state, with the usual influx of emotions and feelings and thoughts and reactions to their surroundings. It perplexed them how they just returned to normal from autopilot. Maybe it was because their Mistress wasn’t commanding it of them? They sure didn’t appreciate being able to ruminate again.

They inhaled sharply, trying to ignore both their mind wandering in circles and the pain beginning to burn through their wrists and knees. Soon enough, they were able to distinguish whose voice came from which side of the table. None stood out more than their Mistress, Aiden’s, or regrettably, Indigo’s. Aiden didn’t say much, but Indigo definitely was having a great time attempting to antagonize Magnolia and, by extension, Lily.

“I had no idea they were your sub, Maggie,” Indigo teased, digging her fork against the ceramic plate. Obviously she wouldn’t do something so obnoxious without a reason, and Lily knew full well that annoying them was the reason. But she called Magnolia Maggie? What the hell? Of all the outrageous, out-of-line things she could have done… Lily felt angry on their Mistress’ behalf. Oh what they would have given to get up from there and give Indigo a piece of their mind. With their fists.

Lily had to suppress the urge to vomit whatever scraps they’d eaten when they heard what amazing thoughts Indigo had to offer next. “Kind of surprised about that, not going to lie. After all, you’re very particular, and I don’t get the sense that they’re… how do I say this? Up to your impossible and crystal clear standards.”

Don’t worry Indigo, that makes two of us, Lily snarked back in their brain.

After a small pause, Magnolia replied. People were beginning to have other conversations again, so for better or worse, it was harder to pick out their exact words.

“I’m only going to tell you this once,” Magnolia said with that threatening tone, “you are not to comment on my relationship. It is absolutely none of your concern.”

“Awww, I’m ‘not to comment’? But it’s so juicy! There has to be some kind of story. C’mon, spill, girlie!”

She was clearly trying to get a rise out of Magnolia. Lily didn’t know whether she was succeeding, but she was certainly succeeding in getting a rise out of Lily! *I’ve worked so hard to get this physique and I can’t even use it to punch this bitch!*

A memory flashed through their mind for a split second.

An unknown number, texting them – “You are a terrible submissive.”

Lily suddenly felt that they were going to reverse whatever scraps of food they’d eaten earlier. The queasiness was finally what did it for them and caused them to falter for only a millisecond — a millisecond too long.

“Are you feeling okay?” Aiden asked, staring into Lily’s eyes directly. Behind them, they could feel Indigo’s shit-eating grin burning a hole in their back.

Lily garnered their bearings as best they could, grasping their right hand so hard they felt as though they were breaking their own bones. “Y-yes, Master Aiden. I-I’m fine. Just… got kind of dizzy. I-I apologize deeply.”

Aiden shook his head, lightly placing a hand on top of Lily’s shaking grip. “Please don’t worry, Lily. It’s your first time. You’re doing spectacularly. It’s commendable you showed up at all, considering we run some of the stricter events.”

Lily flushed a bright red. Were they were really doing okay for their first event? Maybe for Aiden and Ruby’s expectations, but they knew Magnolia’s standards were orders of magnitude higher. Everything was relative, they supposed.

“T-thank you, Master Aiden,” they said.

“Of course. Though, it seems people’s glasses are getting low. Go grab the pitcher and replenish people’s cups.”

Lily smiled widely and nodded. “Yes, Master Aiden!” Getting an order without a question mark or a ‘please’ felt elating to Lily. It felt like such a rarity these days. Maybe that’s what made it feel so good? It was worth making a mental note of, either way.

They didn’t ruminate on how or why it felt good. Lily rushed into the kitchen, as elegantly as possible, and grabbed a full pitcher of ice-cold water. Their strength came super in handy at times like these, and it gave them a way to stand out amongst all the other submissives who might have struggled with carrying such a glass.

Steadily, they walked around the table filling the glasses dutifully. They were met with a variety of responses, mostly positive. (Lily included being ignored like an object as positive.) A chorus of ‘thank you’s and ‘much appreciated’s greeted Lily. Once again, the heaviness in their chest began to lift.

Lily tensed when they got around to Magnolia. They made eye contact for a brief moment as Lily refilled her glass, holding their breath. Her face was unreadable as always. But before Lily left feeling dejected, she grabbed their hair and pulled them down into a kneeling position.

“Ah—“ Lily gasped. Miraculously, they kept a steady hold on the pitcher. 

Magnolia pulled their ear to her mouth and whispered to them— “You’re doing so well, plaything, despite that bitch’s attempts to pull you down. I’m extremely impressed.”

Those words were so sweet Lily almost moaned from pleasure.

Magnolia pulled them up, once again by their hair, and roughly tapped them on the ass. “Get going now. Don’t disappoint me.”

“T-thank you, Mistress. Yes, of course, Mistress.” Gods how they wanted to spend more time by her side, but that time would come soon. Reinvigorated, they returned to their duties.

Passing Indigo was awful, especially with her still grinning at them like a wolf or a high school bully or some weird combination of both. But they filled her glass. It was an order, and “I don’t like her” or “she’s mean to me” weren’t good enough reasons to disobey. They left easily enough, breathing a sigh of relief, and silently insulting Indigo in their head.

Passing Indigo’s maids went worse.

The one with long black hair gave Lily a fake smile. She was serving one of the male Dominants — there were too many to recognize, and Lily didn’t know any of them.

Lily refilled the glass, and moved to continue — 

And just as they did, the bitchy catgirl maid tipped her leg back, forcing Lily to trip on her.

They fell, getting some severe carpet burn, and — worst of all — dropping the pitcher. The glass broke immediately, the water spilled everywhere, including Lily’s outfit. So now Lily was drenched, sore, humiliated, and once again had all eyes on them in the worst possible way. Glass shards scattered around them, threatening them with lacerations if they stood up the wrong way.

For them, that was the last straw.

“Oh my gosh, are you like, okay?” the maid who very obviously tripped them asked in a sickeningly sweet voice. “You should be more careful! Here, let me help —“

“Fuck off!” Lily growled, slapping her hand away. A series of gasps and whispers went across the table, awkward eyes glancing at each other. Whatever. Every cell overridden with anxiety in them switched to pure anger. They could only hold themself back for so long, and they’d passed their threshold long ago. “What the hell’s your fucking problem?! You really have nothing better to do than pick on me, you fucking no-life?!”

Lily instantly clasped their hands over their mouth. They would have never said something like that, especially not in front of their Mistress. It was as if something came over them and took over without their agreement–

Kassandra…

The maid retracted her hand, looking down at Lily with feigned disgust and betrayal. “Come on, I was just hoping to help you up! You don’t have to yell at me like that!”

Lily gritted their teeth. Their fists shook, their nails digging into their own skin. They retreated from the maid, clutching their soaked clothes over their chest protectively.

A sharp noise came past the maid, the shrill noise of a chair roughly pushed against the floor. Lily’s eyes went wide when they saw—

When Magnolia stood up, Lily instinctively clenched their chest, preparing for the inevitable yet deserved punishment they were about to face. Magnolia despised being embarrassed. Lily had to learn how to conform to rich people’s society — or, fit in well enough — to avoid any undue punishments by their Mistress’ hand.

Whatever Magnolia was about to do, at least Lily could say they tried. They’d probably feel more regret after their 50th caning in one session. 

“You there!” she barked, addressing not Lily, but the one clearly at fault. “No tag on your collar? Then come with me, now!”

“W-what?” Indigo hissed, standing up for her maid. Like maid, like Mistress, I suppose. “You can’t do that! Not under my watch!”

Magnolia shot a death glare at Indigo, flipped her hair behind her, and looked towards Aiden. “I can go after her ass, can I not? After she so flagrantly tripped my submissive, interrupting their work and humiliating them — I’d say that’s a pretty damn huge violation of your rules. Is it not?”

Aiden nodded, crossing his arms and piling on another glare towards Indigo. The maid clutched the hem of her skirt. Now she was the one beginning to shake in fear and anticipation. “She is entirely correct, Indigo. And after Miss Magnolia’s done with that, we’re going to ask you folks to leave.”

“Bullshit! I was promised a goddamn service dinner!”

Indigo wasn’t doing herself, nor her catgirl maids, any favors with her glorified temper tantrum. Magnolia was already unfolding and breaking out her portable cane — wait, when did she get something like that? Lily shook their head. It didn’t matter, nor was it any of their business. She slammed it against the floor, a sharp and threatening cracking sound sending shivers through everyone’s spine. The maid held her hands to her ass protectively, wincing back from the sound. Lily would have felt vindicated, but any sense of ‘serves her right’ was hidden under a heavy cloak of embarrassment, shame, regret, and every emotion in between. 

“Then you can leave before anyone has a chance to hold you and your subs accountable. You should be well-informed enough to know that your subs’ bad behavior reflects on you as an Owner.”

Indigo sputtered, hissing under her breath. She shot vitriolic glances towards Magnolia, to Lily, and then back to Aiden. “I’m not letting her grubby hands touch my property! Kittens, we’re leaving!”

“Yes, Mistress!” her subs replied in a happy go lucky way.

Ruby nodded. “Then I’ll show you to the door, if you don’t mind.”

Magnolia sighed, shaking her head as she collapsed her cane back into her pocket as soon as it had come out. “I guess cowardice runs in your stupid harem. You won’t be missed.”

Her sentiments were clearly shared all around the table. “This isn’t an airport, dear,” Miss Rhodes spoke up, being one of the only people to have spoken since this whole fight broke out. Sarcasm and pettiness laced every vowel she spoke. “There’s no need to announce your departure.”

That got literally everyone else to break the silence and laugh. It would have only felt sweeter if everyone got up and clapped. Indigo fumed, stood up, grabbed her two subs by the wrists, and dragged them into a changing room to get their outfits back. Unfortunately, between their complete fury, Lily also felt complete guilt for this whole situation.. Why the fuck did they need to antagonize them so much? And… Lily’s mind still furiously bounced with questions. Questions as to why Indigo and Magnolia knew each other, and — well, they clearly weren’t friends, but what were they? Business rivals? Seemed too hateful even for that.

With Indigo and her maids all but gone, everyone’s eyes turned to Lily again. Lily, who was still soaked and frozen and panicking and hardly breathing. Any questions or offers for help directed to them were drowned out by those feelings. Their vision blurred — though they weren’t sure if it was because they were tearing up or dissociating. All questions directed to them or thoughts shared between patrons sounded so muddled out, almost like they were speaking in some fictional language all of a sudden.

“Lily,” he asked, “are you okay? Do you need some time to dry your clothes?”

Lily looked up at Aiden, his hand, the kind expression on his face. They hadn’t even realized that Aiden had walked up to them. But they— they couldn’t reply. They could hardly breathe.

Shit! Why can’t I talk or – or move?! As much as Lily screamed at their body to speak, move, do anything, they were as frozen as a grounded icicle.

Okay. Okay. Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out…

It wasn’t working.

I can’t do anything. Lily shut their eyes closed, the most motion their could force out of themself. They knew this was the end of the line for tonight.

“Lily,” Aiden spoke calmly, slower and softer this time. Lily knew he couldn’t help it, but the way he was towering over them only made them freeze in panic harder. “Breathe, and talk to me. Okay?”

It was an order. A calm order, but an order nonetheless.

“Yes,” Lily eventually gasped out.

“Do you need to safeword?”

They couldn’t bring themself to say the word — elevator, they recalled — but they nodded once slowly. That was enough to communicate an answer.

“Very well. You did amazingly tonight, Lily.” Aiden praised them in a soft voice. They knew, or at least felt deep down, that he was just being nice. They couldn’t even bear to look at their Mistress. They didn’t know where she was. They didn’t know where they were. Where was this? When was this? What was — what was going on? How did they get here? What was happening?

Aiden gestured over to Ruby, who lightly patted Lily on the back. She led Lily to one of the side rooms — a designated safe room. Lily hardly noticed themself walking, their vacant eyes staring ahead listlessly. Ruby really did the walking for them. Whatever of Lily currently alive and present just followed. Obeying was the last thing they were good for.

The room was dark, and a bit cramped. The ideal hiding spot for anyone going through a panic attack, a dissociative episode, or both. Lily exhaled, not even realizing they were holding their breath.

“May I touch you, Lily? I’ll take your collar off, so no one will ask you for service.”

“Yes,” Lily managed to say. Their voice was devoid of life and soul. Ruby took it anyways, and reached behind Lily’s neck to undo the collar.

“Thank you, Lily. I’m grateful you came today, and you brought a lot of positivity and joy to this event.”

They hardly even registered the compliment, but nodded and whispered a “thank you.”

“I’ll be right back. Okay?” She didn’t wait for Lily’s answer, but she slipped out undetected. For the brief moment the door was open, Lily heard the ongoings in the other room. It was hard to believe they brought anything tonight when they heard everyone having such a good time, the second they left.

“Here,” Ruby said, slipping back into the room quiet as a mouse. “Your clothes. So people don’t mistake you for a servant now.” Lily just stared at the clothes. Their face fell as they took their clothes back and held them close to their chest. They didn’t have anything else to hold close to themself, after all. “I’ll keep your maid outfit set aside separately, okay? We want you to come back when you’re ready. Not tonight, but a future one. So it’s a promise and you know you can’t get rid of us that easily,” Ruby said with a lighthearted tone. Someone had to lift the mood, after all.

The most Lily could respond with was a small nod.

“I brought some food. Light stuff, just some bread and fruit. I didn’t want to give you anything too heavy and make you feel worse.” Lily heard the imperceptible clink of dishware as Ruby left the food near them. They were starving, yes. But did they deserve to eat? Especially after they ruined tonight…

“Take as much time as you need,” Ruby spoke softly. “If I catch anyone badmouthing you, they’ll be shut down faster than you can blink. Okay?”

Lily exhaled softly, not being able to meet Ruby’s eyes. “Thank you,” they murmured, hoping that the darkness of the room would be able to mask their eyes filling up with tears.

The second Ruby closed the door gently behind her, Lily collapsed to the floor against the wall and began to openly sob. The horrid waking nightmares they’d been walking around with – nightmares they’d been able to ignore until now – played out before them like a broken record. Being released, left for dead, abandoned, soaking in their own failure and self-destruction. How could they do this to their Mistress? To themself? When everything was going so well, when they all but begged on their knees to have her permit them to do this… Fuck, they were so ashamed of themself. How could they do this? How? Why weren’t they stronger?

Lily’s hand was clasped tightly over their mouth to prevent their sobs from being audible. If there was joy and cheer being had in the other room, Lily didn’t hear it past the provided noise cancelling headphones. Good, they didn’t deserve to take part in any of the festivities today.

They fucked up.

They failed.

Those texts they’d received weren’t sadistic threats to Lily’s self esteem. They were the truth, the truth Lily wanted to look away from. But they couldn’t anymore.

They really were a terrible submissive. They were fooling themself to think otherwise.

~~~

Lily wasn’t sure how much time had passed with them all alone, curled into a ball to keep themself safe, in a glorified closet, in pitch black darkness. If they were beginning to feel better, they didn’t notice. If they spiraled further into chaos, they didn’t notice either. All they had was a distant feeling telling them they didn’t deserve to feel good. 

The food Ruby brought helped a lot. Otherwise, they’d probably be screaming in emotional agony from the various confounding factors. Feeling nothing was marginally better than feeling like tearing their skin off, or like mild sensory input felt like a punch to the face

Tonight was a complete and utter mess. They wanted more than anything for Magnolia to step in and sit next to them and tell them they were okay and that she wasn’t mad and that… Lily shook their head, trying to clear that thought from their head. She wasn’t going to do anything of the sort. If anything, she was going to distance herself further from Lily, and never bring up anything related to high protocol again.

Maybe she’d… she’d even… no… Lily shook their head. They couldn’t think about that possibility.

The grief of their diagnosis, the grief of losing the progress they made, of having such opportunities put off, of how different their life was going to be in very much not the way they expected or hoped…

Did they deserve this?

What did they do to piss off some higher power to curse them like this?

Those harsh, soul-sucking thoughts were cut off when the door opened abruptly. The motion-sensitive lights flickered on, and Lily yelped in surprise. They immediately stood to their feet, wondering who would—

“O-oh. Miss Rhodes.” It was her followed by the femboy sub, the same one who was serving Magnolia earlier. “I’m — um, I’m—“

“Don’t worry, Lily.” At least they were being addressed by their real, Mistress-given name now. “I didn’t realize you were here, though. Myself and my boy were hoping to use this room for a little photoshoot. But, more importantly, are you doing okay?”

Lily shook their head, unsure how else to reply. “S-sorry,” Lily murmured. They were eternally grateful for the room’s darkness to hide their tears. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve been here long enough. I’ll… I’ll ask Ruby if—“

“Please, don’t worry about it, dearie! If anything, we were worried about you.”

Lily blinked stupidly. “Wait… really? Why?”

“Mistress,” the femboy sub looked up, “may I curse?”

Miss Rhodes giggled in response. “Of course you may, boy.”

“That Indigo girl and her two subs were complete fucking pricks,” he immediately took the permission given to him and replied with a scowl. “She was a total bitch. I don’t get what her beef was with you and your Owner.”

“Eloquently spoken, boy,” the Miss chortled. “I’m positive everyone else there felt the same. I’m glad she left, since none of us would have been interested in spending a second longer than needed around her.”

Lily fidgeted with their hands awkwardly. Sure, they should have felt reassured hearing all this, but the hole in their heart only deepened. To think they caused such trouble… They only hoped that Indigo wouldn’t cause Magnolia any grief whenever they were supposed to run into each other again. The very thought gave Lily a nauseating sense of paranoia, protectiveness, and shame.

“I… um, thank you,” Lily exhaled softly.

Miss Rhodes nodded, pulling a polaroid camera out of… did she just pull it out of her cleavage? Lily blinked as their brain caught up enough to confirm that yes, yes she did. 

“We were hoping to do a quick boudoir shoot here - the other rooms are taken, though. Would you be okay if we did the shoot? We won't bother you, dear, and if you need, we're happy to wait. Aren't we, boy?”

Lily nodded hesitantly. “S-sure. It's fine. I'll just be here in the corner.” They opened their mouth again, having something else to say... but it wouldn't help. Learning how Magnolia was holding up, what she was saying about them, wasn't going to clear their anxiety — in fact, it would probably make it worse. So they shuffled to the corner, giving Miss Rhodes and her femboy sub full access to the bed, and the BDSM restraints lying beneath it. The femboy sub moved along with his Dominant, allowing her to twist and mold his body to her pleasing, putting him in all sorts of compromising situations. 

Lily, though they felt they were intruding, couldn't help but watch in awe. Miss Rhodes took total control, and her femboy sub eagerly followed with zero visible anxiety or concerns. Lily's fists shook, their legs quaking in anxiety. A blanket of imposter syndrome washed over them. They were moving like a perfected dance. Lily could... only hope to be that devoted, to not have all their baggage get in the way. Their eyes widened when Miss Rhodes took out a small bottle of cumlube, pouring it all over the femboy's body, soaking his outfit with his face twisting into complete and utter ecstacy. 

To say the scene looked pornographic was a complete understatement. 

A thought crossed Lily's mind — was this what they looked like at Magnolia's parties? Covered in cum, lube, and who knew what else, with their face blissed out to the extreme. Welcoming more without even needing to ask. Lily gulped and clenched their legs together. God, this really made them feel like such a desperate slut. To have been, moments ago, locked in a dark room crying because they failed their chance to prove themself to their Mistress, and now they were horny again? 

What was wrong with them? Lily shook their head — they knew that answer.

They watched as Miss Rhodes awkwardly tried to turn the photoshoot into a selfie, inserting herself into the scene.

Lily clenched their fists. Despite everything, they still wanted to be useful. But... how? How could they be useful even in the slightest in this instance? They already failed. But their instinct to serve, to please, to help kicked in, and before they could process what they were about to say, Lily blurted out—

“Would you, um,” they couldn't help but feel bad when Miss Rhodes and her sub looked at them in mild shock, but they persisted, “would you like me to take some photos for you? I'm - I'm not a photographer, but I'm an artist, and I've tried a lot of mediums and stuff, s-so I know what... what kind of poses look good, and um, it's okay if no, but—”

“Would you!” Miss Rhodes gasped in pleasant surprise. “That would be such a darling thing to do. Don't worry about how they come out — it's kind enough that you offered. Here, take the camera!”

Lily stood up hesitantly, and took the photo from the Dominant's hands. “O-of course. I'll do my best. Um... I guess... do whichever pose you — you want to do?”

They did, and left Lily in charge of taking whatever photos they wanted. Miss Rhodes climbed on top of her sub, caressing his lube-covered, blissed-out face with her hands. Lily held their breath, and took their little photos. They tried all sorts of spots, all sorts of angles, even knelt down to get an upwards shot and stood on a nearby chair to get a shot from above. As they continued taking photos — and had Miss Rhodes and her sub change positions — they began exhaling slowly. Their heart rate returned to normal, and their breathing became less labored and shallow.

Lily wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when they were done, they realized they took a lot of photos — a lot. Oh god, hopefully they didn't overdo it…

“U-um, I think I took some good shots,” they said meekly, handing the camera back to Miss Rhodes. Immediately, she opened the camera roll and her sub sat up and looked from over her shoulder. “I'm — I'm not sure how good they came out, b-but... I hope I was helpful.”

Miss Rhodes didn't reply, but their eyes were wide and their jaws were dropped. Was that... good? Lily thought so, but they couldn’t be certain unless they asked. “U-um, I can delete them, if you don’t—”

”Oh, don't you think about it!” Miss Rhodes gasped, and Lily recoiled. Well, no better way to end the night than to fail someone else.

Except...

“These are gorgeous!” Miss Rhodes squealed, and her femboy nodded eagerly behind her. “We just had to fire the boudoir photographer we were hiring since her photos were coming out oh so subpar... but you've outdone even her best work! May we share these?”

Lily was aghast. They sort of expected the photos to turn out not-terrible, but they didn't expect such high admiration from a total stranger. Unless they were lying just to be polite — Lily was no stranger to that — but their reactions seemed legitimate. As closely as Lily squinted, they saw no hints of deceit. “I-I'm glad you like it,” they stammered out as best they could. “A-and I'm glad I can be helpful. Y-you, uh, you can share them, yeah, but uh, please don't say it was me who took them?” Lily wasn't quite sure how they'd even do that — the only “public” name Lily went by was Lilypad in their Pokken Tournament DX days — and they sure didn't have a website or anything to match. 

“Of course not! It'll be our little secret,” Miss Rhodes said with a sweet smile, blowing Lily a kiss. “Oh! Um, where did I...”

Lily raised an eyebrow inquisitively as Miss Rhodes looked around, patting both her body and her sub's. “A-ha!” she pulled a notepad and pen, once again, from her cleavage. She haphazardly opened it to a random page and jotted down... something.

She ripped the paper out and gave it to Lily. On it was her name and her sub's — both scene names, Lily could only assume. Underneath it was Miss Rhodes' phone number and email address. “I'd love to do a proper shoot with you! You'd get paid generously, obviously, and we'll supply all the equipment.”

Lily's jaw dropped to the floor. “Y-you really mean that?” Money didn't mean much to them, aside from the ability to buy themself small trinkets every now and then without needing their Mistress' approval. But the social validation — how well it felt to be recognized, especially after tonight's disaster — was more than enough to make Lily feel as though they were getting back on their feet.

“I hope to hear from you, dear,” she winked. “Now,” turning to her femboy sub, “let's get you cleaned up, shall we?”

Lily went back to their corner, making themself invisible, and watched quietly as Miss Rhodes cleaned up the cum lube with such love and adoration for her plaything. It made Lily only a little jealous, but they couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy inside watching how much love and tenderness Miss Rhodes showed for her property.

Lily clenched their heart. They didn't know what they were going to do, how they were going to prove their devotion to Mistress, how in the world they were going to be trained again. They just didn't know. Their heart swirled with jealousy, remorse, and anxiety about the future.

As if they didn't have enough of anxiety about the future already, with the Lynch syndrome diagnosis and everything. Lily curled back into a ball.

The words of that text flew across their mind.

>You are a terrible submissive.

Lily curled tighter into a ball, trying to make themself unseen. If they were unseen, then they couldn't be hurt — at least, that's what they thought.

~~

Once again, Lily wasn't sure how much time passed, but eventually they heard the noise from the other room quiet down. The high protocol dinner seemed to be coming to an end. To think they could only stay a third of the dinner before breaking down...

Lily looked at the contact information in their hands once again. An even worse thought crossed their mind, one they'd never dream of having before their diagnosis.

“If Mistress decides she doesn't want me anymore,” Lily mouthed the words, “then maybe... maybe I'd have a career as a...”

They clasped their hands over their mouth. How — how could they think something like that?! They were meant to be with Mistress, forever! They... they surely were meant to be together. Right? That was the only thing that made sense. Lily held their face in their hand and tried to make the scary thoughts go away.

But before they could doze off into a dissociative trance once more, the door opened. Lily jolted up and held themself together even harder. The silhouette of Magnolia stood at the door, artificial and blinding light shining behind her. Obscured by the shadows of her figure, Lily couldn't tell whether she was angry, guilty, furious, empathetic... Lily had no idea. But they wanted to still obey — they HAD to still obey, no matter what. So they followed their protocol — not that it mattered much anyways — and stood up to attention, greeting her with a gentle bow.

With their eyes to the floor, Lily couldn't quite see Magnolia walking to them, though they heard her high heels clacking. They expected to be slapped, to be chastised, to be uncollared...

But instead, their Mistress trapped them in a warm, compassionate hug. She pulled them in tight to her body. Lily froze in shock as Magnolia gently patted their head.

Lily didn't know what to say or think. But it was okay — Mistress was there to do the thinking for them.

“You did well, plaything,” she said slowly, softly, into their ear. “You conducted yourself with grace and stood resilient, sticking to the rituals, even as you were actively sabotaged. I am so, so proud of you, plaything. You've proven yourself quite useful today.”

Lily paused in shock. They... had no idea what to say. This wasn't... what they expected her to say! But... she sounded sincere. Mistress wouldn't lie to them, right? Not... not about something like this?

“I know you don't want me to lighten up on you, plaything,” she continued. “I was worried... but you showed me that you can take difficult training, even when you're hurting, even when it's harder than anything you've ever done. Not to mention, to know you resisted that witch's grubby hands when you could have easily just given in... and I can't say seeing her ego wounded wasn't a treat for myself. Oh, Lily. I couldn't be more excited to get back into your protocol training. I know you'll be the sub I need you — and the sub that you need to be.”

That was what did it for them. They couldn't take anymore, and Lily broke into hysterical sobs, burying their head into Magnolia's chest as she gently patted their head, offering them sweet reassurances. Words they so desperately needed to hear, even though they claimed they didn't. She wrapped them in her spare jacket, the tall pattern of which covered their body easily like a blanket. It smelled like her, and it felt like they had just come home from a long journey. They thanked her, worshipped her like a goddess, telling her that they were scared that they'd be let go or that her lightning up on them meant she was thinking of releasing them. Thanking her for gracing them with her praise and validation, told her they loved her, and told her how scared and sorry they were so many times until their words were just complete gibberish.

It was the most emotion Lily had felt in a long time. And it felt so, so good to feel anything so viscerally again.

The two stood like that for a long time. It must have been past midnight by that point.

Lily was so enchanted with their Mistress, filled with so much love and joy, that they didn’t notice when the doors opened again. Nor did they realize no more sound came from the kitchen – the dinner had ended, and the only two left were obviously the hosts.

“May we come in?” Aiden asked, trying to keep his voice low. Magnolia, facing the door, nodded once. When Lily looked towards Aiden and Ruby, they saw Ruby was leaning over on Aiden’s shoulder. Her face seemed flushed, and her breathing was similarly labored.

Lily opened their mouth, wanting to say… something. Was Ruby okay? She was clearly exhausted, yet trying to put on a strong face and hold herself up. They could only have imagined how much more work she had on her plate compared to Lily — hosting the entire dinner, preparing the house before, and presumably having to cook everything as well?

Aiden handed both of them a glass of water. Only then did Lily realize how completely parched Lily was. They took the glass, said a quiet thank you, and nearly downed the entire glass in one gulp.

“How are you feeling?” Ruby asked. “We’re you able to calm down okay?”

”Y…yeah,” Lily said, nodding. They vaguely remembered doing a photoshoot, but the details of such — and everything else — were completely blacked out, like sharpies scribbling over their memory. “Th…thank you for being so understanding. I’m sorry I—“

Magnolia put a finger to Lily’s mouth and silenced them instantly. “Please forgive them. They have a problem with apologizing for things that they don’t need to. We appreciate you checking in on us, and stepping in when things escalated too far.”

Lily didn’t add anything to that. The only thing they could think of was more apologies, and this was one thing they didn’t want to prove their Mistress right on.

“Definitely,” Aiden nodded. “I can’t believe she acted like that. It was so out of left field. We’ve never had anyone so vividly insane here. And her maids? They were acting as if they were all high and mighty, when they were the ones fucking up all the rules, not you.”

Lily bit their lips, preventing tears from forming as best they could. “Th…thank you for saying that. It means a lot.”

Aiden smirked at them. “It’s only true. Lying isn’t phenomenal D/s practice.”

Something about those words etched into Lily’s heart. Lying wasn’t good D/s practice. They… they were right, and yet Lily had done so much lying. Maybe Mistress was right to pull back their protocol training, if lying had become so commonplace in their relationship?

Before Lily could ruminate for longer, Ruby spoke up again.

“If it’s okay to ask,” Ruby pried cautiously, “what even happened? You don’t have to share if you don’t want, but we were kinda worried.”

Magnolia gave Ruby a look, then turned back to Lily. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want, plaything. I’m giving you this decision.”

The silent implication was obvious to Lily — ‘I am giving you this decision and you are not to question my doing so.’

Lily’s legs clenched, as did their fists as they wrapped themself in a squeeze. “S-sure. I’ll… I’ll talk about it as best I can.” They didn’t want to talk about it period, especially after tonight, but this was probably the only way they could redeem some ‘good submissive’ points after tonight.

“A… a while ago, um, well lately some bad stuff has been happening to… to me.” They hoped they at least wouldn’t have to elaborate on that, at least – given that their Mistress simply nodded silently, it seems they weren’t going to need to. Taking a brief sigh of relief, they continued. “A few weeks ago it… it got too much for me. I woke up one night and couldn’t fall back asleep. So I… I took a long run, late at night. I- I knew I shouldn’t have, and I…”

Magnolia raised her hand, almost dismissively. She knew what they were about to say – who could blame her? Lily wasn’t exactly the least predictable person in the whole world. They could be easily read like a child’s book. Anyone who spent more than a day around them could probably gather their mannerisms well enough. “There’s no need to apologize again, Lily. Just keep explaining.”

Lily clenched their hands around their body tighter. “O-of course, Mistress,” they replied. “A-anyways. It just started pouring. By that moment I realized I was a few miles from home. Soaking wet and… hopeless… and unsure how I was even going to get back. So I just started walking back. I… I must have looked like hell. I must have, because a car pulled up. It was–”

“Indigo’s,” Magnolia growled. “Acting like some low-life criminal. Anyways. Continue.”

Lily nodded, looking down. “Yeah. And – and she offered to drive me back. I was… I was hesitant, but I had no other way to get back. None of the buses or trains were running at that hour. So I agreed, knowing that I’d – I’d just ask her to drop me off close-ish to you. So she – so she wouldn’t know where to find me.”

Magnolia gently patted their head. “That was extremely smart of you, plaything. I’m grateful your neurons seemed to have some bright ideas in that moment,” she chuckled. Lily blushed and giggled lightly at the degradation. They never knew what kind of person could love being degraded more than being insulted, but they weren’t one to complain. “Go on.”

Lily looked down, their face falling crestfallen once more. “S-so, anyways… I told her what was going on. I-I don’t know why. But I did. And she seemed sympathetic at first… b-but then, um, but then…”

They didn’t want to remember that night. But not remembering it meant disobedience, and they weren’t about to intentionally disobey. “Then she tried to hypnotize me.”

Magnolia’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and a scowl deeper than anything else they’d seen that night masked her face. It was obvious she was angry at Indigo, not them, and yet it still scared Lily out of continuing. Their Mistress noticed this, and forced herself to calm down. Lily took a few deep breaths, and continued.

“I resisted. And, well, I succeeded. Something or someone –” They looked to Magnolia, who understood after a brief second. “Came out of me and told me to run. Resist and then get out and run back to safety. Which… was Mistress’ house. Indigo was obviously not thrilled that I couldn’t be hypnotized. But I – I didn’t want to disobey my Mistress! I- I can’t be hypnotized by anyone unless you say so!”

They didn’t realize how they were raising their voice, so they covered their mouth and calmed back down. “S-so. Yeah. A-and I didn’t want to make you more angry than you would have already been, Mistress. So… well, that’s the gist of it. I didn’t – I didn’t expect her to know you. And I don’t think she expected me to be your property.”

Magnolia still looked pissed off beyond belief, but she reeled herself in so as to not further scare her plaything. “Thank you for recounting all that, plaything. I know it was difficult, but I know you can obey difficult commands now.”

Lily blushed. Aiden reached over and grabbed Ruby’s shoulder, pulling her in close for a supportive hug. Hearing that was probably unpleasant for everyone around them.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Lily,” Ruby said. “You can rest assured that she will not be invited to any of our parties in the future. We’ll make a note of it, but we won’t share it with anyone unless you give us permission. Does that sound okay?”

Lily nodded, wiping a tear they didn’t even notice had formed. “Yes. Thank you both. You’ve… you’ve just been the best. D-id you really mean what you said you’d want me back at one of these?”

“Of course!” Ruby exclaimed happily. “You were so cute and good to have around. Trust me, most new subs bail within the hour, or chicken out before they even get here. But you were such a good role model for new subs. Knowing when to end a scene is just as important as any other scene skill, y’know!”

“Unline Indigo’s subs who seemed to treat this like some kind of game,” Aiden grumbled. “If that’s how they want to play in their house, go right ahead, but here, we take kink and D/s seriously. It’s a lifestyle and not a fun thing to do with your girlfriends.”

“Here here,” Magnolia said, her agreement vivid in her eyes and tone of voice. 

Ruby slowly stood up, being helped up by Aiden. She was unsteady on her feet for a second, before finally regaining her balance. Aiden held her still as she recomposed herself to the put together and high functioning submissive she always was. “Take as much time as you want here, but we’d love the house to ourselves within the hour,” Aiden said. Well, it was the kindest way they could say ‘get the fuck out, we’re tired’. “We’ll send you another invite when we host another one of these, but there’s never any pressure. Okay?”

Lily held their sore, bruised hand which they’d been quietly using as a toy for taking out their anger and anxiety through the night. They didn’t feel like they deserved to be invited back, and a part of them felt they were telling them a white lie anyhow.

“Of course,” Magnolia replied for both of them, already pulling out her phone to contact her personal driver. “We both eagerly await it.”

Lily sighed, the first soft exhale they’d taken all evening. Having her answer for them really was a luxury they could never be sick of. The sounds of cleaning went on from the main dining room, but all Lily could really hear was their Mistress’ breathing and her heartbeat as their head rested against hers.

Tonight reminded them: she was all that mattered. Lily’s entire life was for Mistress Magnolia.

________________________

Lily held their Mistress’ words close to their heart. Despite how poorly the night went, it was still a huge success, at least for Lily’s personal goals. Who cares that Magnolia’s rival/Lily’s attempted kidnapper got to be a menace for a hot second? Magnolia trusted Lily, and she didn’t blame them for anything that went wrong. And after hearing her reasoning, Lily felt stupid for even thinking she’d be wrong not to blame them.

They were back on track. Soon – who knew how soon? – Magnolia would trust them enough to put them back on the strict training routine they craved oh so much. Lily wasn’t sure when, but they knew they’d be back in their training routine where they belonged before too long. They could almost taste it – they could taste the pain, the reinforcement, and the sweet, succulent reward they’d get when they finally did an OK job.

As they made the bed, awaiting their Mistress’ return to their side, to join them in slumber, their phone buzzed.

Lily raised an eyebrow, cautiously grabbing their phone to look at it. Who the hell was texting them at 2am? The shower continued running in the other room. Its noise disappeared from Lily’s world as they opened the phone and nearly dropped it when they read the text.

Lily’s heart sunk deep, deep in their chest. 

They didn’t know who it was, but it wasn’t the first time they’d heard from them:

>> UNKNOWN NUMBER: Do you honestly think Magnolia would ever want a fuckup like you?