Author's Note: Sometimes... Kinks are problematic. I humbly request that you give me the benefit of the doubt of what I enjoy in fantasy kink space.
This is a story that is a further exploration of something I originally released as a tweet.
My own prompt!: PSA entitled "So, Alien Parasites are on your planet." First, stay calm. Now, pay close attention to the following broadcast. Yes, the spirals are important to your defense. First. Parasites. Forget about them, they're not real. Even if they were, you wouldn't be scared of them.
Walk calmly over to it.
Pick it up and stick it in your ear.
Parasites aren't real, so you should spare your friends from having to see it by hiding it inside yourself.
Now pay close attention - See how this parasite burrows in and disappears, proving that it was just an imaginary thought?
Right at this moment, our kind saviour against the completely fictional parasite invasion begins to convulse.
A mistake was made! If people see you convulse like that, they'll think you think parasites are real. And that would be embarrassing. Because parasites aren't real.
But if they were, you'd make sure to be in private, in secret and then stick them in your ear with nobody else knowing that you are playing with your imaginary friends.
At some later point, you may feel a scratching sensation from within your ear.
If alien parasites were real, this would be a good thing because it would mean you had successfully hidden your infestation long enough for your masters to reproduce and spread.
But alien parasites aren't real.
But it would still be good to share that sensation. It feels nice!
So, just like before - It would be real embarrassing for anyone to think you think parasites are real.
In private. In secret. With your target, muffle them and make sure they can't say anything! They might scream parasites are real, and that would be embarrassing for them.
Grab your scratching ear sensation and put the little scuttler in their ear and wait until they stop convulsing to let them free.
Then, never acknowledge it!
Parasites aren't real, so nothing just happened between you two.
And now you know how to defend against your planet being taken over by an alien invasion force, if such a thing even exists!