The Florette's Dilemma
51- Third Time's The Charm
by Motherlygirl
Ursula and Mane walked into a changing room. It was spacious and luxurious, as all things in affini territory tended to be. A large four-walled room, its walls and ceiling a gentle warm shade of yellow, it had a bench, a sink, and two mirrors. One of them was a decent-sized square affixed to the same wall as the sink, a bit above it, while the other was a rectangle that took up much of another wall. Ursula grabbed two small seats from a corner and pulled them up by the wall with the larger mirror. A bar hung next to the sink with several washcloths on it. She walked over to the bar and grabbed one of them.
"Come give me the shaving cream, darling?" Ursula purred. Mane obeyed, sheepishly trying not to look at herself in any of the mirrors. Ursula refrained from commenting to herself about the room's setup; it was unlikely there wasn't a smaller room available where avoiding dysphoria from your reflection would be easier. She'd long since overcome hers- the principle effect of Erias's implant had been the eradication of all visible body hair from her entire body, after all. She was gorgeous, and she no longer felt compelled to reject the reassurance everyone gave her when she felt she wasn't. Loath as she was to thank one of the plants, she couldn't deny that her body was comfier for the old crone witch's involvement with it.
Perhaps if every affini was like Erias, she might trust them.
"If every affini was like Erias, they wouldn't be a species of colonizers," Ena snarked in Ursula's head.
It was true, she supposed. Still, now wasn't the time to argue philosophy with her headmates. Now was the time to pay her cub's kindness back. She smiled at Mane and gently asked her to take a seat. Mane obeyed and slipped off her coat. She seemed to freeze in place for a second and looked around erratically. Ursula's heart sank. What was wrong?
"Cub? Is something the matter?"
"Where-" Mane almost hissed, "do I put my coat?" Ah, that made sense. Ursula felt at ease again. She reached out and gingerly took Mane's coat, then in a single fluid motion twirled all the way around and hung it from a nearby hook (though a blunt one, naturally) that protruded from one of the walls without any mirrors. Mane froze, chuckled nervously at herself, and slowly loosened back up. Did Mane feel bad for reacting like that…? Ursula fought the urge to come down with another pang of guilt. Mane had always been a little bit delicate, but this…this was new to her. She debated asking why the girl seemed so terribly on edge, and in the end resolved to do so after they were done here.
"It's okay, cub," Ursula purred as she put a dollop of the shaving cream on one hand and started rubbing it against Mane's face and chin. "I'm here and I won't let anything hurt you anymore, okay?" Mane didn't nod or speak, but she gave Ursula a look that indicated she would if moving her head or mouth were an option. Ursula spread it on relatively thick. Then she walked to the sink and washed her hands to get what was left off. There was no need for putting warm water on Mane's face, as this solution softened one's hairs and skin, and loosened pores, on its own. She wiped her hands clean on a towel and then returned to sit in front of Mane with the razor in her hand.
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Mane stared directly into Ursula's big, beautiful eyes. Had they ever been this close before? Physically, that was. They'd never met in person back on Gisk, despite having spoken fondly on the possibility many times. Ursula was sitting close, her immaculately smooth skin, large chest, and divinely pretty hair all inches away. She leaned in and took Mane by…the hand.
"If I need you to move your head I'll just state a direction," Ursula reassured her. "I know you don't like having your chin touched and things have been invasive enough." Mane felt her body reacting to the beautiful goddess of a woman- her gentle caring grasp, the powerful but protective tone adding yet more appeal to her already beautiful voice, the face so thoroughly burned into her brain from hours spent in voice calls on her home planet. She was unable to do more but pitifully whimper. She tried to pitifully whimper in a way that said yes, at least. Ursula seemed to understand. She raised the arm with the razor and brought it to Mane's face. It gently came to a stop over her cheek.
Mane imagined doing this sitting in Ursula's body for a moment like an idiot, an absolute fool. Her body…reacted. It was annoying and made her slightly dysphoric, but it was nothing that having this much attention brought to her face wouldn't outweigh on its own. She tried not to let it show, though. The last two times this had been done with her, she was still completely fried from the…you know. And she still kind of was, of course, but her mind was in that stage of adapting to something where it's not new anymore and the second wave of horror, of "oh god this is never going away is it," had not yet come knocking. She'd never liked shaving. Doing it with someone else was…intimate, of course. She could feel the affini-manufactured blade gliding down her gently-prepped skin and slicing effortlessly through follicles that would have been infuriating on her own. No cuts, no knicks. This was definitely the superior experience, and having Ursula do it in particular sounded heavenly, but…
The razor completed its first journey down the contour of her jaw. Ursula took it on two more cycles across that strip of skin, eliminating any loose ends or annoying stumps that were left over. She seemed to know that Mane felt uncomfortable. She paused. She gave Mane's hand a reassuring little squeeze.
"Is everything alright, cub?"
Mane gave a thumbs up with her free hand and closed her eyes. Having zero visual input to her brain except for how hot Ursula was would only make the dysphoria worse. Letting Aria shave her had been one thing. Aria was new, she was fresh off of an adrenaline crash, she hadn't shaved in a long time. She hadn't done an especially great job but it was something. Melody had done better, but any dysphoria had been shoved out of her brainspace by the terrible intimate tension of learning her ex had a new girlfriend and-
Mane squeezed both with her eyelids and her fingers. The razor clattered instantly into the sink and Mane felt Ursula's now free hand joining the other in clutching at her own.
"Breathe, breathe," purred Ursula in what Mane could easily tell was a deliberate imitation of her own self care domme protocol. "It's okay dear, innnnn and out, I'm here niiiice and slow, innnn and out." Mane complied and felt a bevy of memories rushing forward. It was like her mind was a pool, and this performance of her best self by Ursula specifically was a body crashing into it and sending dozens of bubbles up to the surface. She remembered Ursula going under for her; Ursula discovering over time that she always crashed afterwards, and politely requesting that the play stop, and then the sessions themselves. Mane had done so immediately, of course. She recalled against her own judgment the irrational guilt in Ursula's voice as she'd asked for each, as though her wishes were wild and uncalled for rather than mere expressions of her needs that ought to be respected with no caveats and no questions asked.
Mane was called back to the present by touch. The back of Ursula's hand brushed her cheek gently. Mane felt herself melting involuntarily. If her mouth weren't essentially wired shut, she would have let loose a gentle little mewl as she did. The bad memories, the feelings, the guilt- they all vanished, smothered by that gentle little show of care and affection.
"It's okay, Mane," Ursula said again. "Take your time. Breaaaathe. I'm here. I've got you. It's gonna be okay." The impression was spot on, despite…how many years apart? That meant she had left a pretty big impact, to be worth remembering that way, right? It did, it had to, didn't it? Mane calmed slowly, taking comfort in Ursula's hand on her face. She breathed slowly, felt herself coming back the rest of the way to the present.
"Do you want me to continue?" Asked Ursula. Feeling seen, understood, loved, Mane could only nod her head and whimper through her closed mouth. "Alright, darling little cub. I need to let go of your hand for a second to go fetch the razor though, okay?" The hand on her face went back to clasp Mane's hand. Both of Ursula's squeezed it gently. Mane, eyes still tightly shut, nodded.
The grips on her hand vanished. Mane heard a few footsteps, some running water, then a faucet shutting. A few more footsteps. A body slouching onto a seat near her. Mane focused on the now. On Ursula's gentle care, on her obvious adoration. Mane didn't feel she deserved it, but that was probably her own biases speaking. The razor traced her face again, vertically. She couldn't feel the blade at all, only whatever soft part was actually making contact with her skin- and, of course, the peculiar feeling of a stimulus one had grown accustomed to suddenly vanishing, as her hair was removed. She'd always kind of enjoyed hair cuts for that feeling, but her hate for having short hair complicated the matter.
"You're doing great, dear," Ursula reassured her. The razor delicately, lovingly glided down her face twice more across the newly smoothened strip. It moved to the next, traversed it three times, then the next. It was clear Ursula had a better idea of what she was doing than either of the others. The blade almost danced like an ice skater. Its touch was soft, caring, but assertive and void of questions. Mane could not see where it was and yet that thought did not even occur to her.
"It feels so good to just…let go for someone," she remembered Ursula saying on Gisk. "I don't know if that's the trauma talking, but with you especially…knowing that whatever shifting boundaries you stumble into, I can trust you to keep your distance once we know about them…it's such a beautiful feeling."
Was this the feeling what Ursula had been referring to? Sure, some of the macabre romance some might feel in trusting their partner with a blade would be lost here- somehow it seemed unlikely that an affini-made razor would actually have the ability to seriously hurt someone even on purpose- but that wasn't Mane's kind of scene anyway. Being vulnerable, but knowing you were still completely safe- it wasn't a bad feeling at all.
Still…
Ursula's voice echoed a sentiment Mane had heard it express some time ago now.
"I need the people I love to be okay with hurting me occasionally, because I'm impossible to love otherwise."
Did she still feel that way? If she didn't…had Mane helped any? Had an affini perhaps?
The blade offered no answers. It traced her face yet more, gently slicing away all of the hair that she disliked so much.
"Can you push out your lips for me?" Ursula asked. Mane did as requested. With a few awkward tugs, the razor removed Mane's mustache. "Bottom lip?" Mane did as told again. The blade made quick work of the hair on her bottom lip as well, then danced across her chin doing the same. There was a brief period of nothing. Mane was pulled back into her own mind. She didn't feel Ursula tending to the rest of her face, to her jaw, to the spots behind her ears.
Ursula had done so much for her. Here she was, doing yet more. Was it…reasonable to feel that perhaps Mane had not done enough?
She recalled Ursula telling her that one of the triggers she'd installed had averted a PTSD attack. She remembered reassuring Ursula whenever someone mistreated her. She recalled the plushie that she'd gotten Ursula as a birthday present to herself, to help Ursula feel more loved and less alone. Did she still have that one, like Mane still had Pengi and Melody still had…Mane? She thought about asking, once she could safely use her mouth again.
"Lift your head a little bit, dear?" Mane lifted her head. She felt the razor finishing up with the last of the hair on her neck. It wasn't long before its probing touches came to a stop. She heard Ursula stand up from the seat. For a few seconds, neither young woman said anything. Then, Ursula broke the silence. "All done! Let's wash you off okay cub?"
Mane stood up and opened her eyes. She was back in that room, with Ursula standing about half a foot away looking confident and satisfied. She noticed her coat hanging from a hook. Right, she'd have to fetch it. But for now…
Mane approached the sink. The girl
The girl
The girl in the mirror was soft and stared back at her with gentle, weary eyes. One hand reached up in disbelief at her own face and rested on her jaw.
"I'm…so soft…" Mane muttered as a wave of joy exploded against her. Ursula chuckled and smiled a smarmy, self-satisfied grin. Mane stumbled closer to the mirror and haphazardly washed off her face. Eliminating the remaining foam from her body wasn't hard, though she did have to extract some traces of it from her hair using her fingers. Her mind was stuck on how…soft she was.
"I'm…so soft…" she muttered again and again. "Soft…" tears started rolling down her face.
"Aw…" Ursula murmured behind her and pulled her into a hug. She squeezed Mane's body against her own.
All was well. For a long while, they just basked in the warm radiance of each other's company.
"...now for the fun part," Ursula purred.