The Florette's Dilemma
27- Worries
by Motherlygirl
Mane knocked on a door. Aria's directions had served her well but she was still...nervous. This was her first forray into a hab other than hers. Had she asked Effus permission to do this? She wasn't sure if she had or not. She thought that she had. Was it yesterday that she'd done it? The day before? She shook her head. These questions could wait their turn to be answered. For now, the only consideration she could afford went as follows: was she fucked? This affini was Melody's owner. As much as she hostly kind of hated having to think those words in that order, it was still undeniable that it meant she...couldn't really continue having Melody in her life if she and the affini didn't get along at least passibly. And that was far less likely to be possible if she didn't apologize in some way, so...there she was. Visiting their home. She waited for a moment, got no answer, and decided to knock again. Her knocking was louder this time, but still decidedly rather lackluster. Still, it failed to get an answer. She sighed and turned around, figuring that the hab was probably empty. She had made it two or three steps when-
The door slid open. The unusually colored affini who owned Mane's ex girlfriend shuffled out of the room. She came to a stop and looked down at Mane for a second. Mane, on her part, had frozen in an awkward emotion that vaguely resembled...was it fear, maybe? She wasn't really sure. In any case, it was like she had goosebumps that were trying to bite her. It was a truly nasty feeling, really, and Mane was not fond of it in the slightest.
"What brings you here, little one?" The affini asked. Her voice was lilting and tinged with an uncomfortable sense of worry. Mane was forced to slowly turn in place to point her face in the affini's direction. She was locked into delivering her apology now, she supposed. The human girl gulped and contemplated the things she could say. What to start with?
"I, um, hello I- I…." Mane said, her fear and confusion readily audible in her weak voice. She looked up at Cordelia and tried not to let her mind think about the terrible violence Cordelia's massive body would be capable of. In these efforts, she failed rather badly. No, no, she thought to herself. Cordelia was kind and gentle. Melody would not have allowed herself to be owned by a being that wasn't. "I'm sorry. About...you know, when- about when we met. About that outburst of mine. I'm sorry I blew up at you like I did." She shuffled her feet awkwardly and had to force her gaze not to falter. Shit, would that be taken as aggression? She was an inferior species in their eyes, after all, a pet species, should she be gluing her eyes to the floor instead? Surely she was in no position here to be standing her ground-
"That's perfectly alright, darling," Cordelia said. She arched forward into a quadrupedal shape and placed her face slightly lower than Mane's, gazing up at her with a pair of soft and gentle eyes. "You've done nothing to apologize for, Mane. You have been a wonderful human since you arrived."
"Bullshit," Mane sneered. Did this fucking plant think she would buy that? "Forgive me if you like- and I appreciate the kindness- but you cannot tell me I have nothing to be sorry for." Mane crossed her arms. Her nails dug into the supple skin that led into her elbows. Her upper lip curled up in disdain. She hated these saccharine lies. The affini, she'd been told, were supposed to be honest and straightforward. She had heard they were refreshing for neurodivergent people especially, and from other places than their propaganda to boot. "I threatened to KILL you." Cordelia tilted her head for a moment like a confused dog.
"Sweetheart. I grabbed a woman you loved and ripped her out of your view- you were scared and angry. Of course you'd react poorly. Do you think I'd keep composure if someone abducted my little Melody?"
My little Melody. The words attacked Mane's ears like the wretched claws of a vengeful harpy. They stung her soul and sliced down deep into her core. She...hated the sound of that.
But that was just something to get over. She wouldn't be able to coexist with this terrible new world if she couldn't do that much. So...she really just didn't have a choice in the matter. Melody belonged to Cordelia now. Cordelia...owned her. Melody was Cordelia's. Her pet, her human, her belonging, her possession.
Her little Melody.
"You bristled, dear." Cordelia's voice was sweet and gentle. It wasn't as sickeningly so as Effus' tone tended to be, but it was still soft and careful. Mane felt a part of herself tempted to trust it. She believed in Melody's judgment after all...didn't she?
...Melody trusted her back in the day, though. In fact, Melody still seemed willing- perhaps even eager- to trust Mane now. Perhaps Melody's judgment shouldn't be trusted. Mane hurt people. She hurt Melody, and she had also hurt the people who loved Melody.
Mane squinted. Instinct asked her to point them away from Cordelia but she stubbornly refused to heed its requests. She met Cordelia's gaze with scorn. Heat crackled and burned inside of her. Why? Why was it so hard for this plant to accept that she had done something wrong?
Why wasn't Cordelia angry?
"Yeah. Cause I'm…" angry?
Why was she angry? Mane was here to apologize, wasn't she? This wasn't going to help! Not her cause, not Melody, not Aria, nobody!
The anger went cold. Shame rapidly took its place.
"I'm sorry…" Mane's face fell. Fuck. Her nails clawed harder into her soft skin. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
"Dear." Cordelia scooted up towards Mane and rose to be face to face with her, the four-legged form she'd taken curling around Mane's lower body. "Something is upsetting you, darling. Did Effus make you do this?"
"No," Mane said as she shook her head. She curled inwards as if to hide from Cordelia. From her insufferable, intoxicating, undeserved kindness. Mane's arms curled tighter around her body. She grimaced. Fear gripped her. Cordelia would never forgive her if she kept this up.
"So you chose to do this yourself? Awwwww, you're such a darling. I'm proud of you." A vine stretched towards Mane's face and waited for consent. Mane shook her head no. The vine hesitated for a little before it retreated. "Darling...do you reject care like this often?"
Yes. "No." That was a lie. "Yes. I lied. Yes I do."
Cordelia nodded gently. "You've clearly been through a lot dear. Seeing you showing so much courage in defense of my precious floret...I'm quite fond of you."
"Huh?" Mane shattered. Tears started rolling down her face. Cordelia smiled slightly at her. "What do...no…?"
"Yes, darling. What else would you call such a spirited act in defiance of a foe so vastly more powerful than yourself? I know you would never attack me, and you know you couldn't harm me. But you came to her defense anyway, because you love her."
Love?
Yes, obviously. Mane loved Melody. But that wasn't why she did that. She did that because she was violent and possessive. The idea that that violent, offensive outburst had been motivated by love was patently outrageous, all the way down. It was unthinkable. Love was beautiful and gentle. That had been...awful. Violent and awful and ugly. Possessive and terrible and...scary. Mane's anger was dangerous and hateful. A necessary evil to be scorned.
"No." Mane finally looked away. The soft light in Cordelia's eyes was too much for her now. She couldn't bear to look at it any longer than she already had.
"No? Then what was it, darling?"
"It…" Mane felt like she had shrunk. She had no idea. "I don't...know…" she nervously touched Cordelia. Cordelia responded with a gentle touch of her own. The viney hand on Mane's shoulder was soft and light and cool to the touch. "Not...not that…"
"What makes you so sure, dear?"
Mane didn't answer. She shook her head.
"I don't...maybe it was...maybe you're right."
"Awww, darling. Come here." Mane was scooped up and carried into a quiet room in Cordelia's hab where the affini snuggled her for hours. She cracked before long and started sobbing. Cordelia lovingly tended to her and listened to her pained wails with patience and tenderness. She used a barbed vine to brush Mane's hair, and wiped tears from her eyes, and cooed over her lovingly.
"It's alright, little one, all is forgiven," Cordelia purred in Mane's ear, "I think you're a good girl. Absolutely beloved darling. I'm so proud of you. I'm sure Melody is too."
At the mention of her ex, Mane's bawling intensified.
"I'm so sorry, I hurt her I hurt her I hurt her I-"
"Shhhh." Cordelia squeezed the human tenderly. "She forgives you. You were young and scared and in awful circumstances. It's going to be okay, dear. You're a good girl."
"No," Mane objected through her tears, "No I'm not! I, I-"
I'm a sadist, she almost shouted at Cordelia. I'm a murder! I'm violent and impulsive and dangerous! Stop being so nice to me! I don't DESERVE it! Stop throwing your kindness in a sewer drain like that! It's insulting to Melody!
But she didn't say any of that. Not out loud, and certainly not to Cordelia, or to any affini at all for that matter. She accepted the affection and withheld her baggage. She allowed Cordelia to brush her hair, pet her, and stroke the backs of her hands. She even found that, on some level, she enjoyed those things.
Cordelia kept up the steady flow of affection. She listened to Mane and provided soft verbal reassurance along with slow, caring touches. The combination of the two slowly helped Mane to calm herself down.
"There, there, little one," Cordelia purred once Mane had properly stopped crying at last. It was all the human could do in response to nod her head slightly. Cordelia squealed and gave Mane another soft squeeze.
"Thank...thank you," Mane muttered just above a whisper. She started awkwardly trying to sit up. This alerted her to something: several of Cordelia's vines had wrapped her up. She wasn't a fan of that. She...was not a fan of that, correct? Wasn't she?
Fuck, she wasn't sure. The vines were compassionate. They had the warmth of a hand that cared about one's well being. Mane hadn't...felt that…
When had she last felt that, before the murder? It would…
It would have...it would have to be…
Melody.
The last time someone's skin had met hers truly with that warmth, it would have been Melody. Mane felt the realization knock the wind out of her as surely as any fist.
Fuck.
"Hold...me…" Mane whimpered. She collapsed into the bed, overcome with shame. Vines cradled and treasured her. She wasn't paying attention.
God, even when she set out to make things better she was an annoyance.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Mane heaved. Cordelia pressed Mane's body against herself and squeezed again with her vines.
"No no, dear, no apologizing for this. You need attention. You need affection-"
"But I shouldn't-" Mane tried to object. A hand made of foliage gently rested on her head and the gentle weight cut her off.
"Terrans need attention and love. You're a social species. If you're denied them, of course problems happen. You've done me no harm and that's that, okay?"
"Oh…" Mane hesitated. It was an olive branch and she couldn't afford to reject it. "Okay, I...guess I believe you. Thank you."
"Good girl," Cordelia praised. She rubbed Mane's back. "I'm taking Aida shopping for clothes today, would you care to tag along with us?" A pause. "Aida, uh, Aida being my other floret."
"I…" Mane sighed. "I guess so."
Yes!!!! Yes!!!!!! This is so lovely and perfect and so good and I love it!!! Good girl Mane!!!