As Slow As You Need

by Cammie Dawn

Tags: #asexual #consensual_kink #domestic #f/f #romantic #transgender_characters #dom:female #sub:female

Penny and Beth are ready to become intimate but Penny is perhaps a little too nervous to commit to the moment.

This story has been suggested by 2 users.

This is the first in a series of stories, link to the second in Afterword.

"We'll take it as slow as you need, pet."

It was a lovely sentiment and Penny truly wished that she could believe it at face value, but now that she was starring down the barrel of a loaded evening with the woman she had been dating for almost two years, it all seemed too much to handle.

Penelope Darling was 29 years old and still on the first year of hormone therapy. Presently she was using female pronouns but even that she couldn't be sure of.

"I don't think I want to be a woman, I feel like it's more that I don't want to be a man." she had once confessed to her therapist. "I don't know if that's the same thing at all... I see other people... in my situation... and... I don't know if we're the same. I'm afraid I'm appropriating their struggle to avoid something else entirely. I just... don't... enjoy the same things most people do..."

Penelope was rarely sure of anything. It was her greatest character flaw. A meekness that bled through everything she did. A vulnerability which carried in her posture, the tone of her voice and even her very gaze.

Elizabeth Benson, scene name Amethyst Stormgaze, was 45. She had known Penny for the majority of the prior decade. Long before Penny had switched her screennames and begun being an active participant within the online kink communities that they both frequented.

The pair had been dating online for two years, though Penny may not have realized it was dating until long into the second year. They had been in physical space together for three weeks.

They had been taking it slow. This was neccessary. Penny had a strong and beautiful spirit but she also carried a lot of pain. Beth knew all about that. She had seen her own fair share of sadness and heartbreak.

"Come, sit down next to me." Beth insisted, patting a spot at the edge of the bed.

Penny's hair was dyed a rich blue which fell in faded gradient of green. It curled adorably at her shoulders, bouncing with every swift motion she made. She weighed 120lbs on a good day, literally half of what her partner did. She was acutely aware of that fact as she sat down and the bed's curve pulled her in towards her partner.

Beth, whose longer black hair fell like a shimmering ebony curtain around her framing the curves of her body, pulled her partner in against her chest and began to pet her.

"We don't have to do anything more if you don't want to, pet." she cooed gently, already feeling Penny's tense shoulders begin to sink against her embrace.

"I want to..." Penny sighed, "I... I trust you."

Beth slowly pulled Penny back and tilted her chin up. For a brief moment she marveled at how her gentle submissive opened up like a flower to her touch. Eyes dilated, lips seperating, a weak gasp of surprise.

"Then we're going to take it slow and we'll pause to check in and discuss where we need to." she firmly stated, maintaining eye contact long enough to confirm that Penny's instinct was to try and break it instantly, those beady azure orbs becoming far more intrigued with the far wall of the bedroom.

There had been tranceplay between the two of them. A lot of tranceplay. Penny never seemed nervous about that much. Both before and after her transition had begun she was quick to dive headlong into any situation which could result in her surrendering control to a more powerful and willing mind. It had not always been that way, Beth knew. In the early days of their friendship Penny's obsession was far more academic, far more hands off. Intrigued but not neccessarily driven.

"You say you trust me..." Beth began, stroking her finger possessively up and down Penny's arm, "Then I need you to ensure that I can trust you."

Penny's eyes pulled back to look at her partner with curiousity and caution. "My Lady?" she stammered, a well of fear lurking within the baited breath that buffeted her words.

Beth withdrew, giving Penny space. "You say you want to..." and again those eyes averted, finding interest in the sheets over her beloved, "But you don't look like you want to."

Penny's posture became tense, starring straight down at the bedsheets. "I want to..." she repeated, firmly. "I just. I'm afraid." the words lingered in the air for a moment before the younger of the two women shook her head vigorously, "No. That's not it... not afraid. Just--- nervous."

The truth lay somewhere between the two words she had used but was so far driven away from either that it would take further digging. Beth had time. Had patience. Warmth. They wouldn't already be sharing a bed if  they each did not desire the other on some level.

Beth nodded slowly before she carefully spoke her next words, aware that too much force would simply push Penny further away, "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. Promise." she raised her hands and offered a warm smile. "And if you decide that this kind of intimacy isn't what you need, then that's okay too. I'll still be here. I couldn't trade your gentle cuddles for anything in the world."

Penny's eyes fluttered defensively, gaze still averse. "...I... don't want to---" she hesitated, "not do those things..." she finally managed. "I just--- don't feel as... compelled to do them as everyone else seems to."

Adorable, Beth thought to herself, abosolutely adorable.

Even after sharing a bed for weeks and having spent years upon years in a highly active sex positive kink community she still shyed up at the mere mention of the specifics of intimacy. Beth let out an affectionate sigh and gestured her finger upwards. In response Penny's shoulders dragged back and her neck stiffened, rigid and fixed back on her Lady's eyes.

"That's right, pet." she cooed, "Lost in my eyes--- you know exactly what it means to look directly into a powerful hypnotist's eyes, don't you, love?"

Penny whimpered as she nodded back, stammering and unable to find words at all.

"And you know you can tell me anything and I'll listen, don't you?"

"'s... my Lady." she whispered back.

"What was that, pet?" Beth asked firmly.

"Y-Yes my Lady!" Penny chimed obediently.

Beth reached out and pet the mess of curly blue hair, "Good girl." and she delighted to see the sighing swoon of relief that washed over the younger woman.

Beth had been Penny's confidant almost half of her life. She knew many of the specifics. She knew that Penny's therapist had the majority of the legwork to do in finding her concerns and triggers, but she would always sit at the edge of the pool kicking her feet in the inviting waters and inviting herself to drown if she was not handled with extreme care. Just four years prior Penny had been frequenting the Covert Hypnotist and Mindwipe chatrooms which were breeding grounds for predators. This sweet fragile flower quivering at her powerful gaze yearned to be broken, to have her agency ripped apart and feel herself violated. A clear contradiction to Penny's behaviors or even her rationally stated beliefs. There was more to it than that. She could carry her suspicions on what it could be but she would never dare force it, or worse suggest her theories to the suseptible mind of one who would take her suggestions as compulsions and her theories as fact.

"Then tell me." her finger traced on Penny's bottom lip, teasing in a gentle circle. Both she and Penny knew what would happen if she flicked downwards from this position, "Why do you cower so..." her other hand reached to Penny's nightshirt, finger lacing the bare and exposed skin beneath her bellybutton, ready to tease further downwards.  "When I do that." Penny had already jumped back in fright from her Lady's touch but in the process had broken the connection with the bottom lip, simulating a flick against her skin and initating a gentle clap as the lips found one another again.

"Ah~!" Penny whimpered, her limbs bolting to action as the compulsion grabbed her by the spirit. She must kiss her Lady, right there and then. Their lips connected and Penny swooned in delight as Lady Beth kissed back forcefully and used gravity and her superior weight to lower the delicate lady onto the bed beneath her.

Penny blinked up in shock as Beth began to lace her fingers at the base of the nightshirt again but this time moving upwards and peeling the fabric with her. "Is this green, pet" she asked in a kind and patient voice.

"Green..." Penny whispered in the affirmative, closing her eyes.

For the past three weeks Penny had slept with a nightshirt or bra on. It was not a concern. Penny was not the first transwoman that Beth had dated and body positivity was always a sensitive subject. She was not going to force things, but she was going to tease the hinges of the door and see if Penny could find her bravery. If she longed to be broken, then perhaps she could be coaxed into blossoming instead.

With no resistance the shirt was peeled away and lay the young woman bare. Her small budding breasts still struggling to perk out and make their existence known to the world, slightly conal in shape but with so much more time in the oven to rise and fill out. Beth did not even need to audibly confirm her affection. It was carried in her eyes and the blush that readily came to Penny's face, along with the maintained eye contact said more than words possibly could. This moment was acceptance, it was beauty. 

Beth's finger reached down and begun to trace delicate circles around Penny's perky little breasts, breaching in towards the pink puff of her nipple, erect as always. Penny hissed gently and her body quivered beneath Beth. Her eyes shimmered with helpless and confused yearning and anticipation.

"Green, pet?" Beth asked again.

"...Green...!" Penny said, mustering courage and quite obviously pushing herself. Such strength and inner flame needed to be rewarded.

It was an enticing display. An inexperienced and fragile submissive open, exposed and accepting of exploration. Beth wondered if Penny could even begin to fathom how attractive or arousing she appeared in this state.

"Don't say it because I want to hear it. Say it because it's what you need to express. Your sleeping mind knows it will always protect you, even from me and especially from yourself." her cool and piercing glare met with Penny's gentle blue eyes and she found herself rigidly frozen against the sheets again. "I ask again and I ask your sleeping self as well as your waking self. Is this green?"

Penny pushed her teeth together, as if exerting the effort to throw herself over the top of this decision and gave a resolute nod. "Green."

"Very well, pet." Beth gently hummed to herself, thrusting her grip forward and capturing both of her partner's wrists, throwing them above her head. "Freeze!"

The command hit her and took impact within a fraction of a moment, her body already stiff from nervous tension was now locked up in the position Beth had left her in, arms crossed above the blue tufts of her hair.

"Head can move. You can nod, you can speak--- and yes, you can breathe, pet..." and Penny gasped in to prove that she had seemingly forgotten to do that very thing.

Beth pulled in and clamped her lips around Penny's left breast. Her pale exposed skin bristling a warm glow. As Beth began to suck harshly against the nipple, delicately teasing teeth without ever forcing them, Penny's body became tighter and tighter, locked and incapable of free motion and yet nerves and impulses were commanding her from within.

"Nnn~~~" Penny grunted, trying to sway her waist, kick her legs, drag her arms back--- anything. But all she could do was rise and slam her head against the pillow. It was so much, so suddenly. All at once. It was white hot fire being poured into her veins, it was lightning crashing through her system. Every attempt to push against her commanded freeze trigger only forcing her mind and body to accept the epicenter of pain and pleasure. Too sensitive. Too painful. Too pleasurous. Too much. All it once. 

Her throat gritted, chirped, cycled through different vowels in order to find something, anything to channel this raw energy which Beth only worked to increase as the waves cascaded over themselves one by one, her arms pressuring down to secure Penny's tiny waist and help her remain as still as she was commanded to be.

Penny wanted to just move the sensation, to be able to do something with this excess other than absorb it but there were no options and the tornado of numb fire was not subsiding, if anything it was getting more intense.

"YELLOW!" she choked.

And the pain stopped.

Her legs were twitching, finger tense and locked even beyond the effects of the trigger. If Beth were to brush the hairs on her arm she may have broken then and there in a screaming display of fragility. But the twitching tempered, the fire doused and the mood softened. Beth remained silent a moment, warmly regarding her pet as the expression from her face melted from a sense of restrained anguish to a placid calm.

"Too much?" she finally asked, sweetly.

"...too much...!" Penny choked, any delicate pretense in her voice erased by her desperation. Something she would likely despise herself for later when she recognized it had been lost.

Beth's hand returned to the soft dyed curls and stroked tenderly. "Good girl." she stated firmly, as firm as any command she had ever given. "Good. Girl." noting Penny's confused blink her smile broadened and she continued, "You did exactly as I instructed you. I told you to communicate if it was too much and you did just that. Good. Girl."

That was the exact thing Penny needed to hear. Her eyes were stinging tears but her expression betrayed only delight. Still frozen, but quite relieved, she melted into the sheets. "Thank you, My Lady."

"Would you like to stop for today?" Beth quietly asked, tracing circles on Penny's exposed belly and feeling her body twitch and shudder against the gentle contact.

"N---no my Lady!" she finally cried out. Her pleading voice showing a clear desperation to earn back any perceived loss of favor.

Beth sighed and closed her eyes, the contradiction of needs, desires, hopes and fears was too much to untangle. She would have called the session there if she didn't fear it would do more damage than good to be rejected at the sign of a yellow flag. A red one, yes, of course the scene would end. That's how things work. But Beth had been an outside observer on Penny's prior relationships. She knew the negative conditioning she was up against. She'd seen it happen in real time, unable to do more than be a friend. Now she was more than a friend and she could do more than a friend could.

"You were struggling quite a bit there, pet..." she finally said, much to Penny's visible confusion. "You know what happens when you struggle, don't you?"

"Ah...!?" Penny gasped out, her body wanting to reflex into a defensive pose but still compelled to remain in position.

"Say it, pet." Beth commanded, still stroking Penny's stomach.

"...struggling... makes me..." she whined gently, barely audible against the rumble of the air conditioner.

"Makes you what, pet?"

"...makes me... sleepy..." she stammered, eyes fluttering from effort.

"And you have been struggling quite a lot, my love." Beth smiled deviously.

"...yes... my Lady..." the struggling little toy squeaked ineffectually in reply.

"So that must mean you are ever so very sleepy, doesn't it pet?"

"...yes..." the squeaking was now a swoon, somehow even less audible than the previous whisper.

"Then sleep, pet. Sleep deep now."

And she did.

Sinking into the pillow, a blissful smile plastered on her face, hands still crossed above her head, feet flopped uselessly at the end of the bed. Beth wished she could snap a quick photo there and then to show Penny any time she doubted how beautiful she was.

"Good pet. Very good." Beth sighed, slipping from playful to caring. Hand not leaving the gravitational pull of her pet's tummy. "Deeply resting, carried by my voice. So safe and tranquil right now. Open and empty. Blank and helpless..."

Penny was all those things and so much more.

"You said Yellow a moment ago, pet." Beth started, carefully, knowing she was going to be walking on very fragile ground in this moment and Penny's safety was her only concern. "Was it because you wanted me to slow down or because you were afraid to say Red?"

Penny's face scrunched up in concentration, trying to parse reality without the cognitive function to overthink it. In Beth's experience most subjects just spoke directly from their base impulse, literally the first thought that came to their otherwise empty head. Penny struggled sometimes. Either to find the thought, or to feel safe enough to share it. She always did though. Usually without coaxing.

"Both..." she finally admiitted in a distant tone.

Beth had suspected as much but couldn't work out the balance without confession.  "Which was stronger, love?"

"...Slow down..." she slurred, "Still want to be with you... still like you playing with me... but afraid to speak up. Jill would stop the session if I..." her nose and brow furrowed in an attempt to summon language but it didn't come.

"Jill was not a good girlfriend." Beth found herself suddenly interrupting, silently cursing herself for pouncing too quickly on that spot before Penny could finish her empty thought, "She punished you for having boundaries. That is not Green. That is not safe." she had to work hard to keep the venom from her voice, Penny's ex-partners had done some work on the already fragile young woman. Intentional or otherwise, every time Beth stumbled upon an unexpected gift within Penny's open and eager mind carried over from her previous relationships, she thanked gods that she would never meet them in person.

Penny's deeply hypnotized face revealed shame. Beth stroked the side of her face to pacify it right away.

"We will take this as slow as you need, love." she said, "I said that before we started and I meant it."

"Just... scared." Penny whimpered, unprompted.

"Scared of what, love?" Beth asked, a little taken aback and more than ready to let the entranced mind of the woman she loved take the wheel for a moment and guide both of them forwards.

"...might not... be..." another adorable scrunching of features signified her struggling to find language, "...sexual." her expression melted into comfort for having gotten over that hurdle. "Haven't had ---orgasm--- in... seven weeks... when I do it hurts... feels bad. Makes me feel..." another pause to find the right word, "hollow."

Beth said nothing, her hand kept at Penny's face. Silently inviting her to continue when ready.

"Love... being... hypnotized... being played with... finding..." she took in a long breath before pushing on "...deeeeep space... feeling... free... letting voices inside go... quiet."

Beth watched. Waited. Listened.

"Scared... when I stop wanting to be a..." her face dropped into an upset pout, "...fucktoy..." the word even while slurred out of entranced lips sounded like raw sewage. Beth had heard those syllables spoken in yearning desire, within a wickedly commanding smirk, in the giggled delight of an empty little airhead. She'd never heard someone so--- repulsed by the concept. Well. No one whose Twitter timeline didn't feature spiral eyes and naked bodies more than half the time.

It was obvious that Penny breathing that word out had been a massive hurdle for her because she needed to reclaim herself before continuing. "---partners would... abandon me." the sorrow contained in the confession cracked through every layer of the inexcorably deep trance. Beth reached in and delicately slid away a tear from the corner of her pet's eye.

"Thank you for telling me, pet." she said slowly, carefully, warmly. In waking times there would be questions about her former partners and the people she threw herself at online over the years. "You don't have to be anything or anyone other than who you are for me." she cooed. "And we'll have time to work things out." 

Penny's tormented features melted back into relaxation, feeling the perceived danger of the moment pass.

"Do you still say Yellow, even if you knew I didn't need to play with your body unless you wanted me to, pet?"

She hesitated a moment before whispering "Yes, my Lady.".

"Then tell me what's green, pet." she lingered, watching her pretty Penelope struggle to manage a single thought within that beautiful head of hers.

"Want you to... play with me. Want to surrender. Trust you." she husked in muted delight.

Beth sighed and smiled, she would have loved to have lovingly called her Penny out on being a handful, being demanding, being unhelpful. Any affectionate little mark of acknowledgement that all the onus of imagination had been hoisted onto her shoulders. But there was an inch of a chance that Penny could absorb that poorly. Best to be delicate in troubled waters.

"Very well, pet. If you don't want me to ravage your body, which is green may I add, then I'll ravish your mind instead.".

Most people go their whole lives without hearing anything even half as beautiful and delightful as the gasping sound Penny made in responce. Just one squeaky intake of breath conveyed so much surprise, joy, hope, comfort and relief. It was everything. Beth's reward, a gift of peace of mind and a promise that the future would be brighter for them both.

"So eager, my love... perhaps you already knew how much your brainwashing had prepared you for this moment." she paused for another tense whimper from the still frozen submissive beneath her, slowly climbing back into her domme-space, allowing Penny to do the reverse. "Feeling your mind already slick and inviting. All your thoughts just sliding away," with a delicate brush stroke of her finger against Penny's forehead, Beth brushed those stray concerns aside and pressed on, "more and more helplessly hypnotized, feeling your body and your mind give in to me and my power with every passing second."

"Y---yes my Lady!" Penny pleaded, her head doing all the moving for her body. 

Beth's hands started delicately framing Penny's body, never quite making contact but breaching deep within personal space, displacing a few stray arm hairs as she moved, pulling her lips to Penny's neck close enough for the hot air of her breath to catch but the promised bite or kiss to never make contact. Even the implication of this intimacy was making Penny quake beneath her, paralyzed and sensitive beyond all measure.

"You like that, don't you, pet?" she purred victoriously.

"Greeeeen...!" slurred Penny in reply.

"Feeling my words penetrate you, feeling yourself surrender and let go and yearn and need..." she hesitate, blowing against the neck and revelling in the ensuing shudder. "Yeees... I think I'll be fucking your mind plenty from now on, my love... until you're comfortable doing anything else."

There was a moment of hesitation, just the brief flicker of Penny being brought back into negative space before Beth swiftly maneuvered to her pet's ear and husked. "Deeper and deeper still..." allowing Penny to gasp out another emotional explosion of euphoric surrender.

"Good girl..." she purred, daring to kiss the hair above her ear. "Very good... so docile and helpless. Held by my words. Compelled by my words. Letting your pent up lust, your forbidden desire be exposed now, without shame and completely accepted, knowing the more you release the more you can experience this euphoric ecstacy."

The whimpering beneath her picked up in succession. She had been tongue deep in clitoris and had received less feedback. Penny didn't just desire this, she needed it. Beth briefly wondered just how long she'd waited. To be loved in the way that she yearned for, instead of having to emulate a version of love making that was so alien to her that it caused her pain and distress.

"GOOD GIRL." Beth affirmed so forcefully that it may well have stamped itself upon the poor little thing's forehead. Her hand snaked behind and clumped a grasp of hair into a fist and yanked back. The void of sound choked by Penny's windpipe communicating just as much as any of her melodic whimpers. "Doubling! Tripling! More and more! So much you can't help it!" as Beth's intensity increased so too did Penny's to match it, her breathing now in wild and excessive gasps bordering close to hyperventilation.

Beth tugged again. "NOW." she commanded. "NOW!" and Penny's gasping mewled out into a shuddering raspy orgasm that impacted not the body but the mind. Her toes locked up, breaking free of their hypnotic paralysis and her head rapidly kicked up and down, desperate. Her arms attempted to flail but Beth was able to maneuver herself to eclipse and restrain her pet.

Penny's droning euphoric peak persisted long into twenty seconds, as if years of disappointing physical climaxes and dysphoric disappointments with her present hardware had been undone in an instant by this powerful explosion of emotional and intimate passion.

"Good girl, good girl, yes." Beth cried, delighted, pulling her pet in for a hug, Penny's limbs no longer able to keep the hypnotic freezeplay going but also too loose and empty to do anything more than flop into her domme's embrace. "Good girl, good girl, I love you, I love you, I love you." she repeated into the dyed curls. Locked into Beth's shoulder, Penny could only close her eyes and feel her lip tremble as aftershocks washed over her again and again. Melting into bliss and oblivion.

"You did so well. I'm so happy with you. So so proud of you. My good, sweet beautiful girl." Beth continued, not daring to let her go for a second. She needed her pet to know that she was accepted but she also needed to express her own delight. The two had taken a first step into a terrifying terrain. A gamble had paid off and Beth had placed so much faith and trust in her pet and found that it was all repaid in kind. This bond of trust respect was stronger now than it had ever been and only invited further depths of positivity for the future.

The moment burned and then it simmered and then it melted.

Penny collapsed back onto the pillow, a wide grin plastered upon her face, boasting a relief the likes of which Beth had never seen in a lifetime of playing with hypnosis.

"Tell me something you need me to know, pet..." Beth sighed, satisfied.

Penny's face scrunched up as it tended to do when it was incapable of discovering a quick and easy answer. She would later confess that she was worried about reciprocation, about taking more than she gave, about not being able to match Beth's physical needs. But somewhere in that most perfect of moments she just couldn't vocalize a negative thought. Something about that felt impenetrable. Impossible. 

Not forbidden, never forbidden. Communication is always green.

...and there it was. The exact words that this delighted pet needed her Lady to know.

"Everything was Green." she whispered.

Beth could only chuckle fondly in responce before firmly commanding "Kiss me. Now.".

A new chapter ”Enough For You” is now available.

Thank you for reading! As always comments and feedback appreciated. Follow me on Twitter @Camden_Dawn for future updates and info.

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