Ironically, Ren observed wryly, first contact with an alien species was one of the goals of this expedition. To prepare for that possibility, the space agency had assembled a full team of Earth's finest scientists, strategists, and diplomats. Unfortunately, all the members of that team--and actually all of the expedition--were still in their cryosleep pods. In fact, Ren was pretty confident that of all of the 1000+ souls on this vessel, he was without a doubt the least qualified to be Earth's representative to the first alien species humanity had encountered. "Hey look, it's the Alien Space Pope: let's send in Ren the Space Plumber ASAP... said absolutely no one," he thought to himself. Well, not technically a plumber, but Ren had no illusions about his role on the ship. He'd been trained to maintain its complicated life support systems, not to represent the planet in one of its most important moments ever. This was not the way it was supposed to happen.

"Actually," Ren paused and thought, "That's not the way it was DESIGNED to happen." If the readout on his cryopod was correct, the ship was already 15 years into its mission, hurtling at near-light speed toward a star cluster the space agency had identified as having several Earth-like planets in close proximity. Because of their near-relativistic speed, the engineers and designers thought it would be extremely unlikely that they would encounter (or be able to slow down if they DID encounter) any alien species along the way, but Ren knew from his training on the sensor array that it was designed to detect any signs of potential alien life along their route. If that were to happen, the ship's automated control system was supposed to awaken the command crew and also the first contact team.

Unfortunately, Ren could tell from his readouts that none of that happened: Ren was the only member of the expedition currently awake (assuming the alien wasn't joining their merry band). In fact, when Ren's cryopod finished reviving him for his regular quarterly maintenance shift, he'd awoken to find the alien already gently pressing its tendrils across his entire body.

Even after he shakily stood up, the alien continued to gently probe and stroke him. It seemed particularly fascinated by his fingers, which it manipulated over and over with its tendrils, folding and unfolding each digit in turn. He also noticed the weird crab-like alien probes on his chest had flattened out and were gently scooting up his pectorals and over his shoulder blades to his upper back, leaving a glistening trail of a cool, sticky liquid. He felt a tingling sensation wherever the alien touched him, although it was not unpleasant. He dimly noticed a similar tingling sensation above his right ear, and in his reflection in the shiny surface of the pod's control panel, he saw that the alien had left another nodule on his temple. Other than glowing dimly, however, they did not seem to be doing anything.

"Wait," Ren thought placidly to himself. "Something is wrong here. I wake up from cryosleep to find a literal alien touching me all over my body and it doesn't worry me?" Much like the ship's system had failed to send the expected alert to the command crew, Ren seemed strangely unbothered by the alien presence. Even though part of Ren's brain recognized the ominous and potentially threatening nature of all of these failures, it seemed to be broadcasting on a frequency that dissipated harmlessly into space. Ren definitely wasn't suffering from the lethargy and confusion one often suffers after cryosleep: he was able to reason and recall information like normal, but he didn't seem to be able to connect those thoughts to any meaningful reactions, physically or even emotionally. In fact, Ren thought to himself, he had been almost completely passive from the moment he woke up. Other than checking the readout info on the pod, he could not think of any action he had initiated since standing up.

And actually, he thought, why had he stood up but not immediately left for the bridge to wake up the command crew? Or ran to the cryopods to wake up the first contact team? Or activate a shipwide emergency alert? Or for that matter taken any of the thousands of actions that might come to mind when aliens pop up on your doorstep. Why wasn't he doing any of those things now that he was questioning why he wasn't doing them? Why was he still just standing there allowing his body to be manipulated and posed like a doll? And why didn't any of this seem to bother him? Maybe if he could focus all of his energy on that contradiction he could rouse his body out of its passivity. He was supposed to fix broken systems: here is something that is broken and needs fixed. Fix it, take action, don't wait, Ren thought. So what is broken? If there is an issue with my thinking, Ren thought, I would put money on that alien nodule sitting right next to my brain being the culprit.

As all of his swirling thoughts began to build momentum, and Ren could feel his heart rate beginning to rise and an increasingly focused sense of anxiety and unease spiking through the placid blanket that had been dampening them. With great effort, he was able to haltingly raise his right arm and put his fingers around the glowing nodule on his temple. When he began to twist and pull at the nodule, he could see its reflection grow brighter and brighter. As it did, he felt the soothing blanket over this thoughts grow thicker and warmer, smoothing out the sharp spikes of his anxiety. His arm shuddered as he pulled even harder on the nodule, but it seem deeply anchored and was not yielding.

A bead of sweat began to roll down Ren's forehead as he redoubled his efforts to disrupt the alien's soothing pressure on his mind. His hopes leaped as he succeeded in wedging a finger fully under an edge of the nodule, prying it out from his temple at an angle. Pulling the nodule out even that limited amount had showered a million sparks of pain through his mind. He shuddered to think about the damage its uprooting would do to his brain matter when he pulled it out completely... but for now he was determined to fashion that dread and burst of pain into sharp spikes he could use to cut through the damp blanket the alien had used to smother his thoughts. He seemed to be more and more in control of his right arm, and was heartened that his control seemed to be spreading. His heart began to race even faster as he dug his thumbnail under other side of the nodule and prepared to pull with all of his strength.

Sudden pain jolted Ren out of his train of thought. While he was focused on the nodule on his head, Ren had lost track of the alien's other appendages. To his horror, the two crab-like probes had re-positioned themselves onto his spine. Without warning, their legs had painfully inserted themselves into his back and Ren could feel them digging around under his skin. He faltered for a moment as he tried to determine whether he should release the nodule and try to pull out the probes along his back, or keep going.

Suddenly, Ren arrived at a horrible realization: he couldn't feel his arm anymore. In fact, he could no longer feel most of his body! Unlike before, when he could still feel his body and just needed to cut through the dampening effect of the nodule, it now seemed like his body was just... disconnected. Somehow the crablike probes must be blocking his brain's connection to his limbs and body.

If that realization had inspired panic in Ren, it was multiplied exponentially when his hand abruptly released the nodule and his arm smoothly moved to hang limply at his side. "Oh God no!" Ren thought to himself as he helplessly watched his other arm do the same, again without any of his input. No longer content to pose Ren's body from the outside, the alien had apparently assumed direct control, overriding his brain's signals as they passed through the now-corrupted spinal cord. Making matters worse, Ren felt the nodule on his temple slowly retract itself until it had returned to its perch pressed against his temple. Once re-established, he could see it glow even more brightly than before and--despite his increasing mental anguish over his seemingly hopeless situation--Ren began to feel his heart rate decrease and his thoughts slow again.

Ren still felt panicked and hopeless, but somehow the volume and velocity of those thoughts and emotions had continued to decrease. Maybe the alien's control was being magnified by its additional connections to his spinal cord, but for whatever reason he was feeling more and more like a detached observer of his own body. It was like he was watching a vidscreen recording of a parade in some distant city: he could see everything that was going on, but it didn't seem to matter or have any urgency. His thoughts had slowed so much that when his body smoothly sidled closer to the alien, it took him several seconds to even notice the change. When he saw his own hand pull another glowing nodule from the alien and place it against his other temple, his thoughts were so laggy that the nodule had already taken root and started further smoothing his thoughts before any anxiety about the development could bloom. When his puppeted hands began feeding alien tendrils into his own nose and mouth, his fading consciousness only flared faintly in alarm at the point when he felt a crunching sensation after they burrowed deeply into his skull. But that flare of alarm blossomed so slowly and faintly that it was completely lost in a blanket of darkness. As the darkness overcame Ren, he drifted weightlessly and without purpose in his mind. If he perceived anything at all, it was the random popping and flaring of memories or emotions as the alien made itself at home in his brain.

After Ren's gradual loss of awareness and seemingly endless drifting in the void, he was shocked to suddenly regain full consciousness. Ren immediately whipped his hands up to his temples and was delighted to find that both nodules were gone... and in the process realized that he had apparently again been granted full sensation and control over his body. He quickly swept over his body with his hands and rotated to check his reflection in the panel: To his amazement, there was no sign of any of the alien's probes, nodules, or tendrils on his body.

<<YOU ARE WELCOME BACK>> boomed the alien, apparently speaking through a buzzing element it was extending toward Ren. Ren's eyes snapped back toward the alien creature hulking motionless next to him. "Wait, you can speak English now?" Ren questioned.

<<OF COURSE THO NOT AT FIRST. WE HAD TO ESTABLISH A COMPATIBLE COMMUNICATION AND CONTROL SYSTEM, LIKE WE DID WITH YOUR SHIP'S COMPUTER WHEN WE DETECTED YOU LAST PREVIOUS. THE COMPUTER WAS ABLE TO FURNISH US WITH MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR SPECIES BEFORE WE BOARDED YOUR VESSEL, BUT WE NEEDED TO EXAMPLE A CASE HUMAN TO ENSURE COMPATIBILITY.>>

"Ah," Ren said wryly, "So you all have your first contact protocols, too. Well, I guess at least one side knew what they were doing this time."

<<YES, WE HAVE MET AND COMMUNICATED SEVERAL OTHER MORE LOWER SPECIES INTO OUR SYSTEMS, BUT YOURS IS THE FIRST WE HAVE DETECTED IN THE VOID BETWEEN THE STARS. WHILE YOUR BODIES ARE SOMEWHAT LIMITED IN THEIR ADAPTABILITY, YOUR TECHNOLOGY IS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE WE HAVE FOUND--OTHER THAN OUR OWN. YOUR USE OF TECHNOLOGY TO OVERCOME YOUR PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS AND YOUR AMBITION TO COLONIZE THE STARS ARE QUITE NOTEWORTHY.>>

Ren reacted to this with humility, "Of course, but your species is obviously operating on an entirely different level than us. You were able to detect and match velocities with our ship, exchange information with our systems, and even interface with alien biological systems with ease."

<<WE HAVE EXPENDED CONSIDERABLE [WORD NOT RECOGNIZED] TO ARRANGE THIS INTERFACE, SO EASE WAS LACKING. HOWEVER, NOW THAT WE HAVE RISKED THE OPPORTUNITY TO REACH OUT TO YOUR RACE, WE ARE READY TO EMBRACE IT FULLY.>>

Ren looked at the alien quizzically, and then the shirtless, alien-slime-covered almost-plumber mustered all the dignity and formality he could and solemnly stated, "As the representative of planet Earth in this First Contact, I am delighted to hear you say that. We are also ready to seize the opportunity for our species to work together!" Ren finished with a little bow, which he immediately worried might have been too much.

<<[GARBLED MIXED EMOTIONAL LAUGH SCORN AMUSED] LITTLE PRECIOUS FIRST DOLL MAN. YOUR WORDS ARE IMPRECISE AND I WILL SHAPE THEM FOR YOU TO A SHARP EDGE. HUMANS OF EARTH ARE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO GRASP. YOU ARE A PRICKLY AND DELICATE SWEET FRUIT, AND MUST BE PICKED WITH CARE, BUT WHEN YOUR PEOPLE ARE PLUCKED FROM THE TREE OF STARS IT WILL BE A FEAST FOR THE AGES.>>

"Umm, plucked?" Ren responded nervously. "This first contact will look a lot worse on my service record if you all end up trying to eat us. I don't think that will go over well with my superiors."

<<[GARBLED EMOTION BUT MOSTLY READING AS AMUSED] LITTLE PRECIOUS FIRST DOLL MAN, YOUR SUPERIORS WILL NOT BE CONCERNED IN ANY CASE BUT WE HAVE NO DESIRE TO CONSUME YOUR MEAGER BODIES FOR SUSTENANCE. INSTEAD, WE WISH TO EMBRACE YOUR SERVICE. WHEN WE BEGAN THIS CONTACT WE WERE UNCERTAIN WHETHER YOUR BIOLOGY OR TECHNOLOGY WOULD BE AMENABLE TO OUR [GARBLED] FOR ENSURING SERVITUDE, BUT IT IS NOW CONCLUDED THAT WE SHALL BE ABLE TO EMBRACE HUMANS INTO OUR GRASP.>>

Ren's thoughts began to accelerate as he tried to understand what the alien was suggesting: he wasn't completely certain, but it sounded like the aliens had boarded his vessel not as diplomats or explorers, but as slavers! The aliens had apparently been concerned that humanity would use its minds and technology to resist, but had concluded they wanted to "grasp" humans after all. Even as he hoped this might be a mis-translation, Ren's mind raced as he considered the implications of this for the 1000+ members of the expedition lying helplessly in their pods. Even worse, if the aliens had been able to compromise the ship's computers, it meant that they now knew about Earth and the stations and colonies humans had established in the Solar system. If he was correct, the fate of billions of humans now hung in the balance, and Ren was the lone human who could tip the scales in humanity's favor. Feeling like there was something important he was missing in all this, Ren continued thinking frantically as the alien impassively watched him, almost like he was patiently observing a precocious child struggling with a particularly difficult math problem.

With a sudden jolt, Ren realized what had eluded him. He now saw the missing piece that connected everything: If the aliens launched their mission with concerns that humanity might not be easily enslaved, but had changed their minds and now believed it could be done, it suggested something had happened in the interim. Since the only thing the aliens had done since then was board their ship and interact with him, he realized that meant that the aliens had successfully enslaved him! Ren searched his mind and feelings and smiled broadly as he realized that it was true: he was totally and completely enslaved by the aliens, and nothing would bring him greater joy than to deliver his friends, shipmates, and all of humanity into their loving control.

<<THE LITTLE PUPPET TOY NOW SEES HIS STRINGS! YOU ARE A CLEVER CREATURE AND WILL BE USEFUL AS WE SPREAD OUR CONTROL.>>

Ren blushed at the alien's praise, and began to think about how best to efficiently enslave his fellow shipmates. "It would be my pleasure to help you control my fellow humans!" Ren exclaimed, almost overcome with joy at the chance to help the aliens with their plans in any small way. "I could help make the process more efficient for you by adjusting the cryosleep pod parameters. If I adjust the thawing process slightly, it should allow you to perfect their errant thoughts before they can regain enough awareness to resist." He furrowed his brow as he considered which crew members he needed to wake and enslave first to make the process as fast and efficient as possible.

Ren realized he would also need to better understand the alien's plans and wishes for his fellow slaves once awakened. While surely some would be enslaved on the aliens' planet or ships, they would probably want to send some back to Earth as sleeper agents to help facilitate the enslavement process there. So many unknowns, but his heart sang as he took on the challenge of achieving such a noble and important goal. Still, Ren hoped the alien would not be bothered as he began to pepper him with logistical and other questions.

"I'm sorry to ask so many questions, but if I am going to do the very best job I can as your slave, I need more information." Ren paused, then continued. "I don't know very much about your species or what you would like for humans to do once you've enslaved us. Actually, I don't even know what your species is called."

<<DO NOT WORRY, LITTLE ONE. THERE IS FULL OF TIME FOR US TO GUIDE YOU. YOU ARE EAGER AND YOU CAN NOT HELP BUT PLEASE US.>>

The alien paused and extended a tendril to Ren's hand, again interlocking with it and folding his digits one by one. Another tendril brushed the side of Ren's cheek in a manner that seemed to reflect a genuine fondness.

<<YOU MAY CALL US MASTER.>>

Ren blushed again, and for the second time that day, bowed to the alien. "Yes, Master. I hear and obey." He then happily returned to ensuring the downfall of humanity.

"Not a bad outcome for my first first contact!" he thought with satisfaction as his face lit up with a quiet little smile.