The Affini and her Nerd

In Which Mats Rants About Shakespeare and Affini Shakespearean Scholars

by Ezra Carmichael

Tags: #D/s #dom:plant #f/m #Human_Domestication_Guide #microfiction #no_sex_no_nudity #caregiving #dom:female #humor #scifi #sub:male

Strictly speaking, ranting about Shakespeare is Mats' default state, but this is the first time Liliac gets to experience it.

“So… I was thinking”
“You know you don’t need to, dear.”
“I know, but I was talking to my friend Mats…”
“That’s the cute one, right?”
“You think all of my friends are cute.”
“Well they are.”
“You haven’t met Mats, actually. Anyway, I think you should take Mats on as a floret.”
“Mats isn’t a floret?”
“I do have friends who aren’t. Human ones, I mean.”
“I’d ask you to tell me about Mats, but you’re about to get really really high.”

A few days later:
Liliac Syringa, Sixteenth Bloom, this is my friend, Mats.”
“A pleasure to meet you. Has anyone told you you’re adorable?”
“Liliac, don’t hit on him just yet. Give him a moment.”
“But he’s so cute. Look at those glasses! You do know we can fix your eyes? No risk to you at all.”
“I think a doctor might have mentioned that once. I dunno. Generally I don’t bother with that stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“Anything… irrelevant. That’s why I need, want, an Owner.”
“He passed out from hunger a few days ago because he’d forgotten about eating.”
“I was reading Rosewood’s translation of Macbeth. Dunno why, it’s utter shit. Most of her translations are. And she won’t respond to my emails telling her to either blossom up and spend a few years studying the history of English theatre or translate something no one cares about.”
“He suggested Atlas Shrugged.”
“You can’t ruin something that’s already broken.”
Atlas Shrugged?”
“Don’t ask. You wouldn’t like it.”
“So you want to become a floret so someone will feed, house, and clothe you?”
“And tell him when to sleep. And bathe. And go outside.”
“I’m outside right now.”
“Um, Mats, we’re literally in Liliac’s house right now.”
“Are we?”
“You see what I mean.”
“Yes, he definitely needs someone to take care of him. And he is adorable. I can just picture his face when he’s blissed out.”
“I did want to negotiate that. I get that you should get something out of being my owner, so I’m okay with getting high occasionally, but I need to be able to do my work.”
“Your work?”
“So as you know, all of the translations of Shakespeare in Affini are garbage--”

“So… the summary is that Shakespeare wrote plays and poems that you like?”
“That everyone likes. Except people who read him in Affini because, as I said…”
“Please, don’t repeat the rant about Affini translators.”
“No, he should. He’s so cute when he infodumps. Go ahead and rant, Mats.”

I couldn't resist the dig about Atlas Shrugged. Rosewood is Mats' archenemy. She probably doesn't know he exists.

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