Negotiations on shaky vines

Chapter 2?- Alternate fate

by Exhausted_ambition

Tags: #dom:female #f/f #hypnosis #petplay #pov:bottom #scifi #anxiety #CW:dubious_consent #cw:violence #dom:internalized_imperialism #dom:plant #drug_play #Human_Domestication_Guide #ownership_dynamics #sensation_play #sub:capitalism #sub:female #trans_egg #transgender_characters

CW: Identity death, depression, identity obliteration
 
This is the product of morbid fascination. This is not canon to the story and if you want to make sure your view of the ending is not changed, don't read this. There is nothing happy or satisfying here 
If you just read the proceeding chapter: turn back! Let the true and happy ending settle before you even consider delving into this.
 
If you are still here, enjoy the alternate bad ending to NOSV
---------------------Centhia, West New Habsburg, Presidential residences, 15.04.2554, 06:25------------------- 
 
Hendrik woke with familiar dizziness and vertigo. Ripping off the Luxury-MENI brand sleeping patch, he raised himself out of the bed; breaking through the fog of sleepiness was done with one brutal motion. 
 
It was a small bed made to be hard enough to not invite sleep, but still keeping his back healthy. He looked at the clock on his nightstand, 06:26, “fuck” he was late. 6 minutes might not seem like a lot, but when every second counted, it could be the difference between life and death. 
 
Making up for the chemically induced oversleep, he wolfed down his bland nutrient-cereal and elected to wear the same suit as yesterday. It wasn’t too dirty for function, and he did not have many meetings with people whose impression of him mattered
 
Four minutes later he was out of his chambers and had begun walking towards the office. The soft thumping of Nora’s boots confirmed that she was following. They reached the office, the plans for the negotiations splayed across the desk.
 
 Just as he sat down and took up the first document the presidential communication system began blinking red “WARNING! PRIORITY ONE TRANSMISSION FROM LISTENING-POST THERAU.” Therau was the midway point between the fringe of the sector and Centhia, what could possibly have gotten so far into republican space?
 
His already shaking finger hit a button and a voice came through “we just detected several affini ships jumping into the system! They neutralized a patrol fleet in seconds,” the heavy breathing of the man on the other side was tainted with fear “…..and they are coming this way….fuck, fuck!….sending a hyperspace communication drone….I hope this gets through…..oh stars.” Then the transmission cut out leaving the office far quieter than ever before
 
Hendrik's veins turned to ice, If the affini were already there then….then they would be here within a week, maybe just days! It was impossible! How had they moved so quickly?! No, focus! There was still time, measures could be taken. If –
 
His thoughts were interrupted as the world filled with the wailing of sirens. Like trumpets signaling the end of times, the planetary alarm system warned of the coming threat. Hendrik turned around towards the window and looked up. 
 
There far up in the atmosphere, he could see it….no, them. Two massive affini warships had just appeared and were moving directly towards the planet. No…no, no, no! This was impossible! 
 
Nora burst in the room just as the communication system sounded out again, it was Grand Admiral Stuklov, and for the first time in his life Hendrik heard terror in the old man’s voice “Mr. President, five affini ships have just jumped into the system, four of them securing positions around the planet! We are trying to keep them away, but our weapons are having no effect. I’m sorry but it see-“ Once again there was silence. 
 
Hendrik looked up at Nora, she looked just as shellshocked as he felt. Five? Had he said five? How? Everything was falling apart! How could he have been so naïve to think that the affini would ever negotiate? 
 
Nora took a few steps forward “Hendrik! we need to leave, there is still a chance we can get out of here.” And lose? Let all that work, and sacrifice be for naught?!
 
He did not even give a reply, with a few presses on the command panel the ear of the entire garrison was his “This is you president speaking, active all ground-based defenses immediately! Do not give them a chance to land on the planet!” With another few presses he had contact with the zealous Terran refugees “you wanted a chance to fight back, you got it. Destroy those weeds!” it had to hold, it had to.
 
The sound of thunder erupted at large ground-mounted railguns began firing into the sky, where the two affini ships over New Habsburg had just finished neutralizing the republics' greatest fleet. A few moments later, ships began to rise up towards the sky like a swarm of locus. It was an impressive display, and for a moment it had him fooled. 
 
Then the guns went silent, and his stomach dropped for the third time this morning…..a few seconds later a terrified engineer spoke over the comms “sir, the guns…they just stopped! Something seems to have overwritten their commands, we can’t get them online!” The Terran ships fell like flies, deactivated, and grappled by the leviathans’ lurching vines or blasts of blue energy….and then a mass of white shuttles dispersed like pollen from the great ships, all heading the same direction. 
 
A strong tug on his arm broke Hendrik from his daze, Nora pulled him away from the window “we need to leave, now!” Even with the terror in her voice, there was still purpose. Of course, she was right. As long as he was alive and uncaptured there was always a chance. 
 
He took out his personal pistol from a compartment in the desk and nodded, his legs trembling “let’s go.” They began to run, with any luck they could make it to the escape ship and slip through the affini armada. From there it would be traveling between different secret bases in deep space, hiding until a chance presented itself…or until they were captured.  
 
As they ran Hendrik opened communication with the shadow division, glad that they had gotten back in time “Unit Z-39, engage protocol: egress, protect the launch bay with all units.” With all members of the division, perhaps they could hold the affini for long enough. 
 
His chest began to hurt as they reached the elevator, an absurdly high clearance activation code later and it moved down. He leaned against the elevator door with heavy breaths, exchanging a quick glance with Nora. She looked terrified, and not reassured in the slightest by his demeanor. In such a situation he would usually say something to the effect of ‘everything is going to be fine’….but there was no way he could say that in a convincing manner.
 
The elevator door opened, and they were met by two shadows, their masks hiding whatever fear they were capable of feeling. One of them saluted “Transportation: Escape ship, ready for launch. No premise compromise detected. All units, in position.” It stung to leave them behind, but there was no other choice. 
 
Hendrik gave a quick nod and began walking down the long metal corridor, Nora following just behind. This part of the presidential residence had been built far before his time, both as a bunker and as a potential escape route. None of the governors had ever had a chance to use it, ironic that the structure he had almost filled with concrete would be the path to salvation. 
 
The lights above flickered, and then there was the sound of gunshots behind them, the affini! Somehow they had managed to not only find the place but also gain entry. They both began to run, Nora’s metal soles stomping along the ground.  Shadow units ran past them in the other direction, towards the gunfire and inevitable defeat, Hendrik resisted the urge to look back.  
 
They reached a huge metal door, it was strong enough to resist tank shells and high-grade explosives. And it was one of three checkpoints they would have to pass, part of his brain wanted to think they would keep them safe….but that part had been proven wrong too many times the last hour. His clearance codes were the highest in existence, the door opened obediently and closed behind them on his command. 
 
Even with the barrier of reinforced steel behind them, they continued to run. The communication device in his ear crackled “Unit Z-39, reporting…..” the sound of gunfire even stronger through the transmission “Division casualties high, capabilities reduced, premise breach in all four directions. Loss of launch bay imminent….I’m…sorry.”  The genuine regret and emotion in the voice was startling, the gunfire lasted for a few more moments before only the sound of their feet hitting the ground could be heard. 
 
They reached the second checkpoint, the door opened, and they passed through. His legs burned, and every muscle screamed for relief, to collapse upon the floor. Hendrik stopped to catch his breath “give me one moment…” Nora hesitated but stopped as well. His moment of rest was interrupted as the metal of the door behind him began to scream in protest. Two thick vines were ruthlessly prying apart the metal door. A few move vines soon joined, and the door began to buckle against the immeasurable strength. 
 
Hendrik took a frightened step back and looked towards his bodyguard, Nora’s expression of fear was gone. Replaced by fierce and protective determination, she pointed to the corridor “GO! I will hold them off, you can still make it!” Fear and desperation mixed together in equal amounts. 
 
The planet, his power, the shadow units, all of that could be abandoned, but Nora? “What? No, I can’t leave you! we can make it together!” It was a lie, there was no way they were making it without something to distract the affini. 
 
Nora grabbed the collar of his suit and threw him forward towards the corridor “GO!” and like the coward he was, he began to run. Shameful tears streaked down his face as the sound of gunfire returned….why? Why had this happened? Had everything he had ever done been for nothing? 
 
Somehow, by a miracle he reached the third checkpoint, as the door opened he could see the ship, its door open and thrusters humming. He ran forward and slammed the button to close the door behind him “~sorry petal, I can’t let you do that~” Hendrik turned around, moving at a leisurely pace was an affini. It was beautiful, with light-brown bark and leaves of vibrant pink across its body. 
 
Hendrik pulled up his gun and pointed it at the xeno while slowly moving towards the ship. The affini tilted her head “I am sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t let you leave either.” The squeaking of mechanical joints from the ship averted his focus. Hendrik watched in horror as the door to the ship closed on some remote command and the engines died. 
 
The voice from the door control sounded through the room “The rest of the structure has been secured, I will leave the rest to you Serrulata.” It was over…after over a decade of struggle the affini had ended it in an instant. All the strategy, contingency plans, lies, schemes, and deceptions…all for nothing. 
 
He pointed the gun back at the affini, they did not seem to be in any rush “How?!” his voice and hand were shaking “HOW?! This should not be possible! You are not supposed to move this fast, have so many ships. It doesn’t make any sense!” None of this made sense, it broke with all logic and intel he had garnered. 
 
The pink petaled affini smiled and walked forward, looking perhaps slightly amused “And why is that little flower?” Her voice was beautiful…the fact that the affini was humoring him stung his pride, but it did not matter any longer. 
 
There had to be some mistake in his calculations “if you had these capabilities, then why has it taken you so long? It took you three years to reach Terra. With this kind of power, what stopped you from taking it within months?!” His intel had been substantial, his logic sound, what possible reason could the affini have? Was there some weakness that he did not know about?
 
The affini chuckled “we couldn’t move too fast, or you Terrans might make drastic and regrettable actions.” Part of him realized that the affini was using the time talking to close the distance…but what was he going to do, shoot it? There were several marks from guns and plasma blasts on the affini’s form, not that she seemed to care.  
 
Hendrik noticed his gun had lowered, he raised it once more “that makes no sense! The fleet expansions, the wartime mobilization, increased exploitation, and resources pushed towards the war machine. Every day increased the suffering and death toll of the population. A blitzkrieg would have ended this in moments.” What more drastic action could be taken than total war? 
 
She had gotten dangerously close now, only a couple of paces away. The affini seemed to be done answering questions “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you will understand. Now, why don’t you put down the weapon before you hurt yourself.” While she looked calm, there was no doubt she was ready to close the distance and strike in a fraction of a second.  
 
So, this was it….the end of the line. Honestly, it was not the worst outcome…even if many were brainwashed and domesticated the population would be saved from the big five, the families, and a prolonged war. If he was to be deposed then the affini were the best-case scenario for his replacement. 
 
Hendrik threw away the gun, it was not even loaded. Only an idiot would keep a loaded gun in their desk with his mental state. The affini smiled “good, I promise everything will be fine.” Hendrik let out a weak chuckle, it probably wouldn’t…but no matter what fate awaited him, it would probably be some form of justice for what he had done. A vine stung his arm, others caught him before he hit the ground.
 
---------------------The Agraria, Habitation Ring 4, Xeno-veterinarian clinic, 10.05.2554, 13:13------------------- 
 
The world came into focus slowly, like his mind was being pulled through malaise. The first thing he sensed was a gentle light above, it was blurry but slowly gained focus. The second thing he noticed was the sound of someone talking in a melodic and alien tongue. For some reason this disturbed him…but as he tried to focus on it, all worry melted away. 
 
Two figures came in front of the light, first, they were just green and brown silhouettes with glowing eyes. Then they slowly became more detailed, the one on the left was large with dark brown bark forming its body. The one on the right was entirely made up of a green vice lattice, interspersed with several colorful flowers. 
 
The left one began to talk “hi there, how are you feeling?” feeling….on closer inspection Hendrik found that he was not feeling much of anything. All the pain, fear, guilt, and exhaustion of usual days were drowned beneath something cool and soothing. After a few seconds he realized he should probably respond….what should he say? “uuummmm….fine….” his response was slurred and stumbling, but the figure looked satisfied. 
 
The right one sounded slightly concerned <maybe too much class-E? He won't be able to tell us much if his tongue can’t move properly.> The left one nodded and suddenly everything became clearer, a fog lifted from his mind, but not by much. 
 
The figures were affini, that much was now obvious….what did they want with him? Maybe this was an interrogation? Hendrik’s first instinct was to think of a way to resist, lie or escape…but what was the point? There would be no purpose, and no likelihood of success “what do you…want to know?” cooperation might buy some small mercy from the plants. 
 
The tall affini leaned down “we just need to know a little about you and then you can meet your owner. Can you do that?” suspicion returned with increased awareness, the information he possessed might as easily make the punishment worse as make it lighter….No, that was a huge overstatement, it was certain to make his situation way worse. 
 
Hendrik pressed himself down in the chair, fear struggling to gain control “please don’t hurt me….” There was something in his mind telling him to scream, to run, to do anything to get away. The cool and soothing fog in his brain kept the thoughts down, smothering the terror.
 
The colorful one looked at the other <Some class-D should do the trick, he seems very susceptible to xenodrugs so be careful with the dose.> Its glowing eyes turned to him “don’t worry, we are not going to hurt you…but you are hurting, and we need to help you.” There was a tingling sensation spreading from his left arm, there was some sort of tube connected to it….a graceful hand guided his sight back to the affini’s eyes “everything is going to be okay. Now could you tell us about the last few years of your life?” 
 
Without asking for permission his mouth began to move. Without any reservations, he told them of his crimes, the terrible decisions, the struggle of every single moment, the forbidden thoughts that came on the worst of days, and the inescapable nature of what he had to do. The affini did not have to drag anything out of him, a question was all they needed, and he responded with all that he knew in return. 
 
For each confession, the reality of his situation began to settle. What he had done could never be forgiven, and what he had become…there was no amount of justice in the world to make things right, or make him right.  
 
There was pain in the words, in what they implied and meant, but he could not feel it. The pain and other negative emotions were cut off at the source, detectable but without impact. The affini seemed to be distraught, flowers wilted, and faces turned to horror mixed with sadness. For some reason, they continued to ask questions and he continued to answer; about his life, what little there was left to look fondly back upon, the little that remained of his being, his personhood. 
 
After what seemed like hours, though time had long since lost meaning, the tall one stood up and shook “enough…. That is enough…..rot and despair….” The other affini looked only slightly more composed but remained silent. The tall one looked at him for a moment before looking away <what do we do?....>
 
The affini with the previously colorful flowers stood up <In his current state, leaving him without class-E for even a moment would be cruel….Let us talk with Serrulata, in the end, the decision will be up to her.> The affini moved up to him and with a few vines lifted him up into her arms “you did well, let's go talk to your owner, and then…we will make everything better.” there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice. Hendrik felt cold, with the shelter of purpose ripped away he was left fragile and weak.
 
He was carried out of the room and into a hallway, sitting in a large chair was the pink petaled affini that had captured him. The fact that his fear was drowned by whatever the affini were pumping into him was unsettling…but for once things looked well and truly out of his hands. The pink petaled affini reached out with her hands and soon he was in her arms instead, a vine gently began to scratch his head. It was oddly nice for how demeaning the gesture should have felt. 
 
The three affini exchanged a few words in the alien language and then he was carried into another room. It looked much like an office, the tall one took a seat behind a desk while the colorful one moved a chair to sit beside them. His ‘owner’ sat down in the last remaining chair, even without her speaking he could feel she was concerned <you two look mortified….is it that bad?> The two other affini exchanged solemn looks. 
 
The tall one spoke first <his health is bad but will recover. A terrifying long period of overwork had left him in a precarious situation. I would advise not letting him do anything more strenuous than talking for the next two weeks.> The vines tightened around him slightly, had something bad been said?
 
The other affini spoke next, her tone much more solemn <his mental health….is far, far worse. In all my blooms I have not seen something like this. There is no shortage of trauma, guilt, and pain in his mind. In fact, I struggled to find anything happy at all. While not my first method to recommend, I think class-B is required in this case.> That had definitely been bad….the affini looked at him with too much sorrow for that not to be the case. 
 
The vines pressed a bit tighter while she looked down at him <are you certain that is necessary?> For some reason she cared about him….was it because he was her pet now?
 
The colorful affini nodded <I am not certain it is enough, even with a comprehensive trauma tracing treatment of class-B, he will probably still require a lot of xenodrugs on a day-to-day basis...> Even if the words were alien, the tension in the room was frightening. 
 
A few pink petals close to him wilted and fell down <I…I understand, let us try class-B and hope that it will be enough.> She looked down at him again, a hand wiping away some tears he had not realized he had shed “everything is going to be okay…I promise.” 
 
---------------------The Agraria, Habitation Ring 4, Xeno-veterinarian clinic, 12.05.2554, 10:49------------------- 
Hendrik opened his eyes and regretted it immediately, across him, sitting on a chair was an affini. Or rather *the* affini, her pink petals rustling entrancingly as she moved her head “how are you feeling?” There was no fog over his mind this time, everything was clear as unpolluted air. 
 
Centhia was taken, his power broken, Nora was gone, he had failed “what do you want with me?” Domestication? Execution? A public tribunal? There were a lot of ways this could go. If his foggy memory served him right, he had admitted to everything and more, mercy was not a likely outcome. 
 
The affini smiled “I am Serrulata Cupala, 5th bloom, she/her. I am also your owner.” She said it so causally it almost sounded like a joke “All I want is for you to be happy and the best version of yourself possible.” It sounded straight out of their propaganda videos, but maybe she was being genuine.
 
He managed a weak chuckle “you have destroyed everything I have ever worked for, my entire life is ruined. Happy? I’m sorry but I think you found the wrong human to domesticate.” They wanted him to become like the florets his intel had described, constantly happy and without a single thought of worry…a ridiculous notion. 
 
There was always a way out, there had to be a lie, a plan that could buy him some time to rectify the situation…but what was the point. If a miracle was delivered and he managed to escape justice one more time…what would he do? The Game was over, ground into dust…
 
Serrulata handed him a piece of paper and a pen with two outstretched vines “I don’t think so, you might think it impossible, but we will go to any length to make our pets happy. I want you to sign this document.” He took a look at it…a domestication contract. The stipulations of the document were absurd: loss of rights, no personal autonomy, stars they even wanted his last name…
 
Hendrik stared at the document in silence, what was he really giving up? Some wretched part of him was tempted “it says here that you guarantee my wellbeing…I am sorry to tell you that it is going to be difficult for you to uphold your end of the bargain. I have done too much, sacrificed too much, lost too much…” Without The Game there was nothing left, just the bitter ashes of a fire that had burned ever so brightly.  
 
There was genuine sadness in the affini’s eyes but not surprise “I know…after you have signed we will remove the memories that are hurting you, later you will get an Haustoric implant to maintain your wellbeing. We will not allow you to suffer.” How nice of them….the concept was terrifying in itself, but he could understand their logic. 
 
He met the affini’s eyes “do I have any choice?” Might as well ask even if the answer was obvious. 
Serrulata shook her head “no.” Indeed, the time of him choosing was over…
 
Hendrik looked over the contract one more time “These negotiations turned out to be way shorter than what I had planned….one last question.” There was a spot for specification, a place to add his own stipulation onto the contract “do you promise I’ll be happy?” It was a feeble last request, with no leverage to enforce it. 
 
The affini nodded “I promise my little flower, you will be happy. you can write it in the contract if you wish.” She sounded genuine…and according to his intel, the affini were usually honest to a fault. There would not be much left of him when they were done, but there was not much left now either…
 
With a hand trained for years in bureaucracy, he added the stipulation. Then Hendrik ticked off the boxes, one by one. There was no choice, no options. No plan would save him, and no lie would do any good. With a trembling hand, he signed the document with his new name.
 
As soon as it was done, Serrulata stood and walked up to him “well done my little flower~, I promise everything will be all right.” That phrase was starting to feel familiar….maybe that meant it was true?
 
--------------------------------------------------------
He was in a garden….or maybe it once had been. It looked like the park outside the bureaucracy headquarters, but there were no finely cultivated flowers or green grass here. Weeds, horrifying and massive covered the entire area. There was nothing else, not a hint of green or color beside the gray and dark brown infestation. 
 
Hendrik was not quite sure how he got here, was this place even real…it did not feel real, and he had never seen such massive plants. He himself was standing in the middle, on a small barren spot of earth. There was no path to take that would not lead directly into the weeds and their poison-coated thorns. he was trapped…that was familiar. 
 
Suddenly a warm light burst up from his hands, it was a flame, bright and powerful. He stared at it, entranced by its movement and color. Somehow he knew what it wanted, it wanted him to let go of it…to let it burn the weeds around him. Hendrik hesitated, even if the weeds were painful….they were all that was left…if the fire burned it all, what would remain of the garden…of him? 
 
The flame began to feel heavy like some force was pulling it towards the ground. Hendrik tried to hold it up, away from the weeds…but he was so tired, every exertion was like lifting a mountain. The flame became heavier and heavier, it was too heavy but….he couldn’t let it do what it wanted or…
 
Why was this worth it? Why not let it scorch the garden clean? It was almost like the flame had a will of its own, it understood his pain, and wanted to take it away…Hendrik parted his hand and let the flame slip down onto the ground. 
 
The flame landed on the ground and then, its edge touched the closest weed. The weed burst into a blazing fire and then in a chain reaction, it began to spread. The ring of fire spread and spread, from the smallest poison flower to the tallest rotten tree. The weeds stood no chance, and as they burned Hendrik began to feel dizzy. 
 
A numbness began to spread in his mind in tandem with the fire’s expansion. The blazing inferno that now engulfed the garden showed no signs of stopping, it spread faster and faster in every direction. Soon the crackling of weeds turning to cider was all around him, the world was a bright red sea, swallowing what had once been his mind. 
 
Hendrik realized that the ever-present pain in his mind was ebbing, not gone, but lessened. His feet and legs were so very tired, he sat down and watched the flame consume it all…
 
Then finally the fire had done its duty, the weeds were gone leaving a field of scorched earth empty of life. The final fire died out, its sparks blowing up into the sky before disappearing. Hendrik felt empty and cold, the pain was almost gone.  
 
---------------------The Agraria, Habitation Ring 2, Smiling floret Street, 13.07.2554, 12:05------------------------
 
Mistress was leading her along the street on a leash, the street was filled with happy affini and their equally happy florets. it looked like mistress was taking her to the place they often visited after therapy. Serla had asked her plenty of questions like usual, and like usual she had struggled to answer. With the class-B and implant, her mind was better now…or at least she felt like it was better. 
 
The pain was mostly gone, and she could walk again, so that was nice….What she struggled with was in Serla’s words ‘something to make her happy’…They had tried plenty of stuff, and not all of it was bad, class-A had been especially pleasurable. But when the times of sensation dissipated she was left with little else. Her mind had no direction to go, no drive or purpose….and sometimes the pain and fear would manifest again. The worst part was that she could never understand why.
 
As she had predicted, mistress walked her into the ice cream store and found them a table. She was safely tucked into mistress lap, a few vines gently scratching down her back. The floret waiter came up and gave her a sad but warm smile. Cleo tried to smile back but knew it did not come off very convincing…mistress said that smiling took practice, so she would probably get the hang of it someday. 
 
Mistress placed their order and began petting her gently, Cleo leaned into the hand and looked up “I...I’m sorry…I am trying but….” Serrulata shook her head and silenced her with a vine on her lips. 
 
Mistress sounded sad but not disappointed “it's not your fault little flower, and I am so very proud of you for continuing to try. We will solve this eventually, alright?” Cleo nodded and enjoyed the pets, when they got home she would probably get some class-A, that would be nice. 
 
Another affini with their floret came into the store and the affini seemed to recognize mistress “Serrulata, good to see you again. Mind if I and my floret join you?” Mistress’s biorhythm became happier, she was always quite distraught after the therapy sessions, so it was nice to hear that sadness lessen. 
 
Mistress smiled and waved the pair over “of course. Cleo this is my friend Hepatica, 6th bloom, and her new floret.” The floret in question was standing completely still, looking directly at her. 
 
Something about the girl's red hair and eyes reminded her of something….Hepatica looked back “Nora? Is there something wrong?” Nora….
 
The floret’s voice was weak “Hendrik?” ….oh no, that was her old name, her bad name, the one that made people afraid. Cleo curled up in mistress lap and started to shiver. The floret had probably been hurt by her sometime in the past. She couldn’t remember why, or what she had done, but it had to be terrible for so many people to fear or despise her. 
 
Mistress covered her in a protective cocoon and a warm feeling began to spread from the implant in her neck. While the fear and pain began to subside, she could hear voices talking outside. Cleo decided to ignore them and focus on mistress’s biorhythm instead. 
 
The cocoon unfurled far too soon….the floret was still there! Before she could begin to hyperventilate mistress spoke with a hypnotic calm “everything is fine…Nora here is an old friend of yours, can you remember her?” Friend….she had a friend? The floret, Nora, looked at her with some desperation. 
 
Remember….it was so very difficult, but if mistress wanted her to…Cleo focused, trying to dredge up something out of the vast blackness that was her memory…Nora, Nora….oh “did we…” there was a memory, but it was faded “play a game of some kind?” Nora’s eyes lit up in relief.
 
She nodded “yes, we played chess…is that all you remember?” The relief turned back into desperation. The floret looked up at her mistress “can I talk to her?” and then up at Serrulata with pleading eyes. 
 
Mistress guided her gaze up into hers with a vine “what do you think Cleo…do you feel like talking to Nora for a bit?” The simple answer was no. Talking to people who knew who she was before was never nice…but mistress looked hopeful, and she had to try…Cleo nodded. 
 
She and Nora were given another table next to their owners, it felt uncomfortable to sit on her own, Mistress had given her the beeple plushie to hold onto for comfort. Nora inspected her “is it really you Hendrik?” There was some disbelief in her voice. 
 
Cleo shrunk when she heard the name, hugging the plushie tight “no, not Hendrik…not anymore. Mistress gave me a new name, Cleo…it is much better.” Nora looked sad but tried to smile, it was far too common of an expression around her. Even if mistress denied it, the fact was that she was a depressing sight. The floret waiter returned and gave them both ice cream, hers was mango flavored as usual. 
 
Nora stared down at her own ice cream for a second before looking up “what did they do to you?” she was probably referring to her memory…there were few who had so little of it as her. 
 
The first spoon of ice cream tasted good, and it was a good way to buy some time. Cleo didn’t meet Nora’s eyes as she talked “I did a lot of bad stuff, and I was hurting…so mistress helped me to remove the memories that were harming me.” It took several long seconds before Nora replied. 
 
Her voice was hollow “how much?” 
 
A cold feeling had begun to spread from her chest “a lot….apparently, I wasn’t good at being happy before either…I’m sorry I don’t remember more of you…you seem nice.” Nora stood up and walked to the compiler on the wall. She returned with a wooden board filled with black and white pieces on a similar colored grid. 
 
The floret put it on the table between them “maybe you will remember more if we play some?” The pieces did look familiar….and Nora sounded too hopeful to be rejected. 
 
Cleo nodded and looked at the board “….I don’t remember how to play….could you teach me?” The words seemed to cut Nora deep, tears began to roll down her cheek, oh no… “sorry, maybe I do remember, just…give me a moment.” Why couldn’t she remember? Why couldn’t she just…just…be happy like everyone wanted her to be?
 
Nora dried her tears “no, it's okay…I can teach you…it’s only fair after what you have done for me. So, this” she picked up one of the pieces from the corner of the board “is a horse, it can only move vertically and horizontally. And this is a laborer…….
 
Several minutes and two ice creams later they had actually started to play “you need to play less defensively, you are only reacting to what I am doing.” Cleo looked down at the board as Nora took another piece. 
 
She was obviously not playing as well as Nora had hoped “I’m sorry, I don’t want to lose any pieces…” not that she had not lost any pieces, over half of them were gone. She moved her horse to defend one of the laborers. 
 
Nora gave her a long suspicious look, with the abundance of class-C-t in her system it was impossible for her to do the same. The floret moved the admiral across the board “check….” Oh….
 
Cleo looked at the board for a few seconds before trying to smile “I guess I lost…good ga-”
 
Nora stood up, irritation and disbelief radiating off her “no! that is not how this is supposed to work. You’re supposed to have a hidden plan, some secret strategy….you can’t just lose like that.” Her eyes were filled with loss and desperation “come on Cleo….Where is that mind for strategy? Where is the passion and ambition…please don’t tell me it’s all gone…” 
 
The pain built up in her chest, even when she hadn’t hurt someone she was still making them miserable. Cleo began to cry, it was the only response she had left. Crying, sobbing, letting the pain flow out even if it did not fully go away. 
 
And then mistress was there, lifting her up into her arms, driving the pain away “shhhhh, it's okay. You have done nothing wrong.” A vine began to move through her hair while another dried her tears. A warm relaxing feeling began to spread from the back of her neck, and soon sleep found her. 
 
---------------------The Agraria, Habitation Ring 5, Habitat complex C-3X, 20.09.2554, 04:32------------------- 
 
Red eyes hidden in the darkness, red ink on white paper, red fire on grey buildings, red blood streaming from a wound, red streaks like lighting in cold and monstrous eyes, red hot pain as another day passed without rest. Red…no, pink…pink coming to end her! snuff her fire out, erase her for good!
 
Cleo woke with a start, cold sweat clinging to her body, her breathing was ragged. The disjointed and meaningless dream fractured into obscurity, but the pain remained. The vines around her stirred and came to life, holding and comforting her “you’re safe, your safe…slow breaths” A vine began moving down her back in slow motions, and as they had practiced she began breathing to its rhythm. Tears were falling down on her companion dress leaving dark marks on the soft pink fabric. 
 
Mistress sat up and fully engulfed her in a hug “do you want to talk about it?” That was probably a good idea but…she was way too tired. How many times had they talked about it? Too many times. Going to sleep was not tempting either….nothing was. 
 
Cleo looked up into mistress’s beautiful eyes “am I doing something wrong?” Why wouldn’t it end? Why did the dreams keep coming? 
 
Mistress gripped her tighter “no, nothing. You understand?” Cleo nodded but it felt hollow, mistress kept saying that…but if she had not done something bad then why…why did it continue to hurt? She was lifted up from the bed and mistress carried her into the kitchen “some hot chocolate should make things better. you deserve some extra cream as well.” That did sound nice, she felt cold in a way the external heat could not alleviate. 
 
Mistress tried to hide it, but Cleo could sense she was sad, desperate even…and it was all her fault. She and mistress had tried so much but nothing….nothing worked for long. Cleo clutched to cup of coco hard “mistress…when…when will I be happy? I’m so tired and…I don’t know much longer I can keep trying…” 
 
Vines tightened protectively around her “you just need to be strong for a bit longer…I talked with Serla, and she thinks that maybe it would be best to bring back your memories an-” 
 
Cleo recoiled at the words “No! plea-AAAAH!” the cup slipped out of her hands and burning hot liquid spilled over her hands. It hurt, but not close to what the memories would bring “please…don’t do that to me...I don’t…I can’t…please…” She broke down crying as mistress began to rub her hands with some kind of healing salve. 
 
The memories, what she had been and done…there was too much pain there, she wasn’t strong enough. Cleo shrank as much as she could and leaned against the affini’s chest. The biorhythm that usually calmed her was filled with discord and pain, mistress sounded distraught “I’m sorry….I wish I knew what to do…” her eyes had taken on a dark blue color “I will find a solution…I promise.”  
 
They sat there for a while in silence, mistress continued to pet her.  Mistress’s affection and care were perhaps the only truly good thing in the world, something that didn’t require effort or pain to get. Of the methods they had tried, nothing had been better than when it was allowed to be the focus. Class-J had been nice, but according to Serla it had not worked properly, and was not a ‘long term solution’. 
 
Mistress looked down at her “for now you should get some more sleep. It is still sleepy time for cute florets like you.” Cleo nodded and allowed the class-Z to seep into her mind from the implant, vines caressing and comforting her all the way down into the abyss. 
 
---------------------The Agraria, Habitation Ring 4, Xeno-veterinarian clinic, 27.05.2554, 7:46------------------- 
 
Mistress was quiet as she walked her down the street towards the clinic. There were few people out yet, most preferred to sleep until at least 10:25…Cleo didn’t know why she had picked up this observation, it was rather useless and uninteresting, but some part of her mind must have thought it noteworthy. 
 
The fact that the streets were mostly empty was nice, large crowds made her feel even worse than usual. There was something about seeing how happy other florets made their owners, how happy they were themselves, that made the shard of ice stuck in her heart that much colder. 
 
When they arrived at the clinic it was almost empty, the receptionist yawned as they came in “hello you two…Vonzin and Serla are in the office and the paperwork is done…if you choose to go ahead with it.” Mistress patted the floret on the head as thanks but said nothing. Ida, Cleo was pretty certain that was her name, gave her a long sorrowful look “good luck….” 
 
Cleo nodded weakly in response, and they headed for the office. Before they headed in, mistress lifted her up and hugged her tightly “whatever you choose, know that I love you, always.” She hugged back, already tears had begun to well up in her eyes. 
 
Mistress carried her inside, Vonzin and Serla were talking as they entered. The grim atmosphere was almost thick enough to breathe. The two affini went silent and mistress sat down, there was a brief moment of silence as they struggled to start the conversation. 
 
Finally, Serla managed to speak “Cleo…do you understand what you are asking us to do?” There was no lack of gravity in her voice, a stark contrast to how affini usually spoke to florets. 
 
Cleo hugged one of mistress’s vines and made a failed attempt at eye contact “I know what class-O does….” Her voice was weak and quivering, only held stable by the continuous rhythm of her owner. 
 
Vonzin wouldn’t look her in the eyes either “it will destroy your conscious mind, there will be no way to reverse it…” her voice tapered off. 
 
What had her conscious mind ever done well? “But I will be happy, right?” 
 
Mistress spoke “yes.” 
 
Cleo looked up at the affini in turn “then isn’t that enough? Whatever I did, broke me…in a way that none of us can fix…I don’t want to feel like this anymore…I’m so tired, I just….I can’t anymore….” 
 
Mistress spoke again, her voice filled with emotion and discord “you are not broken dear…you’re not broken.” Then why…
 
Serla tried to sound hopeful “there are still methods that we have not tried….are you sure you don’t want us to bring back your memories? If we do, we might find out how to help you…recover whatever you lost in the procedure.” A new round of attempts, a new round of pain and struggle. 
 
She had already been crying, it only intensified “I don’t want to…I don’t want to be that person, feel that pain. I’m too tired, too weak…can’t you let me rest?” A vine was pressed to her lips, and she fell quiet, it was up to mistress to make the decision now. 
 
<what has the committee concluded?> they had begun to speak in affini again…it was for the best, decisions were not her strong suit and without making decisions, why would she need information? 
 
Vonzin took up a data pad and handed it to mistress <it was split, we discussed the issue for hours without coming to any conclusion. The argument for class-O is solid, but Serla’s plan of memory revival was also favored….in the end we agreed to let you make the final choice.> 
 
Mistress shivered and looked at Serla <what do you recommend?> The colorful affini looked down at the desk for several long seconds. 
 
Then she looked up <we don’t know how much of her memory we will be able to recover…and even then there is no certainty that it will allow her to flourish. I hate to admit it, but your floret might be right, the trauma could be too deep-seated for us to ever heal it. I would give it a shot but…I can’t blame you for choosing the other option.> At that point Cleo decided to stop listening, the usual comforting voices were filled with too much pain and discord. 
 
She looked at one of the petals that had fallen from mistress’s hair. Even if it was wilted, the color and form was still beautiful. The offer to gain back her memories was slightly tempting, even with all the pain and suffering it would doubtlessly bring. Serla thought that maybe there was something there that she needed…Cleo wasn’t so sure, maybe she had already lost it before the affini arrived. 
 
Whenever she had asked mistress about her previous life, the reply had never been comprehensive or detailed. She had been suffering and she had hurt others, that much was clear. But why? It was the constant question that kept gnawing at her, that almost made the pain sound worth it. Had she simply been a cruel and horrible person, or had there been something else…
 
“Petal…it is time.” Mistress got her attention immediately, there was a sad smile on her owner’s face. Cleo wanted to ask but decided to stay quiet, she trusted mistress “Vonzin is going to take care of you and do the procedure,” a hand was gently caressed against her face “it's all going to be okay.”
 
Mistress kissed her on the forehead and handed her over to Vonzin. The large arms of the affini were surprisingly soft for being made out of bark “it is all going to be fine, just stay strong.” Cleo did not want to be strong anymore, part of her doubted she had ever been so. 
 
Before the tall affini carried her out of the room Cleo looked at Mistress and Serla “thank you…” she shared a heartbreaking and loving moment of eye contact with mistress before the affini looked away. 
 
Vonzin carried her from the office and across the clinic until they eventually reached a large, mostly naked white room. There was a single human-sized chair with plenty of padding in the middle. Cleo was placed upon it and Vonzin moved towards one of the few cabinets in the room, picking out several vials of a honey-colored liquid. 
 
The affini walked back over to her “this won't hurt at all, breathe slowly and this will all be over soon.” Cleo did as asked and breathed in….and out….in…ouch…and out. A feeling was spreading from her arm and up into her body, towards her mind….in….and out.
 
---------------------The Agraria, Habitation Ring 8, far out park, 13.06.2554, 7:46-------------------------------- 
 
The leash connected to her collar tugged lightly and Cleo moved faster, her paws tip taping on the grass. Standing was too difficult, but her paws moved by themselves. A flower! She moved in to smell it….it smelled so nice, maybe…the leash tugged again, and Cleo followed once more. 
 
The grass was tempting, so green and vibrant. If not for the leash she would probably lie down and roll around, just to feel it tickle across her body. They came to the top of a hill, from here they could see far into the distance. There was a lot more grass, but also large rings with strange-looking shapes on them. The leash was no longer tugging, mistress bent down and unclasped it from her collar…did that mean she could? 
 
A large hand began petting her head and all thoughts of running around to explore dispersed…it was soooo good. Another hand lifted her slack body up and placed her on a blanket “you can explore another time.” Mistress made some noises, they were always so nice to listen to, the melody in them vibrating in her mind.
 
Mistress’s hand continued to pet her, and a torrent of pleasure and joy spread throughout her body. The feeling of mistress fingers running along her scalp, scratching gently was perhaps the best in the world. After a while, her thoughts began to fizzle out, drowned in the constant comfort and sensation. A vine tapped the side of her mouth and she opened it, another tap closed it and a third made her chew. The amazing taste of treats spread in her mouth, overwhelming her tastebuds, and sending her into a pleasurable shiver “such a good girl.” Cleo leaned into the hand and moaned in pleasure.
 
Suddenly the pets stopped, she opened her eyes and looked around. Mistress was distracted by another person who had arrived. The person was large like mistress, plenty of white and yellow flowers formed some sort of dress…they had wonderfully blue eyes…very pretty…
 
Mistress had at some point taken out a small pile of plushies and with a gentle lift, Cleo was deposited among them. They were so soft! She found her favorite a large yellow and black colored one and hugged it tightly. Cleo rolled around in the soft pile while squishing the plushie in her arms, biting softly on one of its antennae. 
 
While Cleo frolicked in the plushie pile, the two affini began to speak <I heard that you are planning on changing ship, got any in mind?> The stranger shifted uncomfortably. 
 
Her voice was slightly embarrassed <I don’t know quite yet, maybe one of the scout ships heading further along this galactic arm. Some exploration might be interesting.> so soft…..
 
Mistress sounded curious but it was not directed at her so Cleo ignored it <sorry if this comes off as insensitive, but why? Weren’t you planning to get yourself a floret and study Terran culture?> 
 
The stranger allowed herself to some of the water mistress had disallowed Cleo from drinking earlier today <I tried but none of them seemed right, they have happy owners now…that is what matters in the end. My request to negotiate with the humans was reasonably denied…it would probably have ended badly. My study project doesn’t really capture my interest anymore either. Maybe I am not the floret-having type of affini…there are a few of us who are like that…I don’t think I would do a good job either.> Cleo poked her head out of the plushie pile and looked at the stranger…she looked sad. 
 
Sad was bad, luckily Cleo knew exactly how to cheer her up. She crawled out of the pile and towards the stranger before rubbing her back against their leg, inviting the stranger to pet her. The stranger began to scratch her along the back, and Cleo melted into a nice cuddle needy puddle “awwww, are you not the most affectionate little one? What’s your name?”  The only reply she had was to lean further into the scratches and pets. 
 
Mistress also began to pet her as well, leaving her moaning and gasping in pleasure <I am afraid that is beyond her…> The pets from the stranger stopped, Cleo let out a slightly dissatisfied groan as the simulation on her back stopped. 
 
It did the trick as the stranger started to pet her again <I forgot, I am so sorry…how has she been acclimating to the class-O?> soooo good…..she began to nibble on one of mistress fingers and shuffle her feet in joy. 
 
Mistress moved her hand to her head and began to scratch there as well <well, seeing her so happy has lessened the blow of the decision somewhat. It is hard to regret it seeing her like this compared to…well before.> Mistress began to rub her belly and Cleo rolled onto her back, giving them full access. 
 
The stranger joined in too, giving her twice the amount of belly rubs <I can’t imagine having to make that decision…> 
 
Mistress sounded uncomfortable <I just couldn’t stand to see her suffer as she did. Maybe I failed her…but she is happy…I could not break that promise.> 
 
Not mistress’s hand slowed down, gently caressing her <sometimes I feel like we break their will too soon…give them too little choice in their own future…> The stranger was still making sad noises….
 
Using all of her concentration Cleo tore away from the belly rubs and climbed clumsily up on the stranger’s lap, nestling into the vines and flowers <oh….awwwwww, so adorable! Could I give her a treat?> 
 
The stranger began to pet her again while mistress talked <not a floret having type? Sorry Martha, you’re not fooling anyone with that. Here, she loves these berries.>  While the pets continued a vine tapped her on the cheek, treat?! Cleo opened her mouth enthusiastically and received her reward. As the berry exploded in her mouth she started to vibrate and nuzzle herself closer into the stranger’s lap. Mistress spoke again <I think you would make an excellent owner. There are billions of humans in need of one…sure I can’t convince you to stay?> what followed was a long silence, only interrupted by Cleo’s moans and sighs. 
 
Her thoughts melted away and time lost its meaning, the pets continued and that was all that mattered. Then they stopped once more, and the stranger lifted her up from the lap <I don’t think so, but if we meet again I would love to pet-sit this little one…> The affini held her up and Cleo looked directly into the vibrant, shining blue eyes <she is very precious.> Then she was placed down into mistress’s arms. 
 
The stranger stood up <goodbye Serrulata, maybe send me a few pictures of her while I explore the stars?> 
 
Mistress stood up, with Cleo in her arms <anything to lure you back. Goodbye Mertha, good luck.> then the stranger began to walk away. Cleo felt something strange…something cold in her chest “now I think it is time for us to go home as well, you have been a very good girl today, I think you deserve plenty of treats.” Mistress’s noises were warm and affectionate, the feeling disappeared and Cleo nuzzled closer into her owner's arms. 

I still have no idea why I wrote this. Next update will be fluffy, I promise 

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