“Back so soon?” a distant voice called out.

 

I foreign familiarity washed over me as I processed the sea I stood upon and the black canvas of the night sky, save for a few tiny stars twinkling with Miss’s colours. I pulled my attention downwards, clenching my fist to hone my focus. How long had I been standing here? Better yet, how did I get here?

 

I attentively examined my perfectly groomed hands, my fluffy tails and the robe-like dress that hung to me like a long-lost lover. Good, I was still me; perhaps not perfect in my form, but content. A feeling I was coming to cherish.

 

The water beneath my bare feet began to flow, trailing seemingly downwards towards a waterfall I had somehow missed. Resting at the edge, her hand gliding across the surface, was a single girl singing to herself. She had 9 fox-like tails, long flowing hair that shone a golden yellow and a cute companion dress to match. She kicked her legs energetically, the rhythm matching her song and for all extensive purposes, she appeared completely at peace.

 

“And down the rabbit hole, we go,” I whispered to myself.

 

I approached.

 

“I wasn’t expecting to meet you again so soon,” the girl said, her back still facing me and her eyes firmly locked on the night sky.

 

“Then you have me beat, for I wasn’t expecting to encounter you at all,” I replied. I sat adjacent to the stranger, the stream leaving a 30 cm gap between us and I wasn’t all that surprised when I looked at her face to find my own.

 

The girl exhaled a small amount of air, removed her hand from the stream and placed it on top of her other hand, resting atop her lap. “I take it you’re ignorant of my identity?” she asked.

 

“I’m going to say based on your clothes and mirrored features, one of us is a copy of the other. Though I am tired, so let’s skip to the bit where you tell me who you are,” I replied.

 

The girl stood, her hands coming to the hem of her skirt before performing a curtsy. “I am called Zeitha Everfell, Second Floret, and I am a manifestation of your Haustoric implant.”

 

Of course, she was. I kept an outwardly stoic persona but I was most certainly rolling my eyes behind the mask. I stood, making sure to meet her perfectly at eye level and performing my curtsy. “So what? I take it you’re here to steal more of me away, negotiate my surrender or some other arbitrary function?”

 

The girl’s (henceforth referred to as Mani) face changed to one of pure disgust and I watched as her robotic skin shivered. “Heavens no!” she shouted. “What a terrible thought!” Mani came forward and held my arm passionately, attempting to speak before I rudely interrupted her.

 

I ripped my arm away. “Is it so terrible?” I demanded hotly. “I was under the impression you and yours…” I stopped and swallowed the knot in my throat. So much for conquering wrath... I took in a deep breath, opened both hands and flexed them exactly twice, letting my breath go on the latter. “Sorry. So, what now? I presume I’m here for a reason?” I asked more calmly.

 

Mani let out a small, strangely not mocking, laugh and came to hug me; my head being placed beneath her jaw and her arms firmly held around my neck. Her embrace was both warm and loving, and it felt familiar, like a by-product of the hugs I had endured with Miss; yet it failed to bring the full level of comfort I had grown accustomed to. The thought that I wanted to seek out Miss and cuddle up to her penetrated my mind before I sectioned it off and left it in the folder “Evidence you’re breaking – do better.” I dared not look at the number of entries, instead using my current predicament as a welcome distraction.

 

“You’ve come so far; so brave and amazing,” Mani said, taking a moment to pause. I blinked and found that she was staring at me with searching eyes. I gave an apology with my eyes which she took as a sign to continue. “Remember that whatever happens, you’re loved and to never doubt your abilities.” She released her hold and bounced 3 steps backwards. “You may enter,” she followed up with a worried, slightly shaken voice; leaving me quite confused.

 

The serene landscape twisted violently with the night sky rupturing with waves of red and thick black smoke; the pools filled with turbulent waves and the air became stale and hot. A thick miasma formed on my left, taking with it the form of my old vessel, the one just before my capture. Her expression was hostile; masking the fear behind her eyes. “You fucking traitor!” she spat, lunging forward; arms outstretched. I recoiled, a mixture of horror and surprise.

 

Fortunately, the vessel (henceforth referred to as Vani) was halted mid-motion by a series of vines extruding from Mani. Mani was smiling, but her face looked to be sweating and judging from her hunched body, she appeared to be undergoing great physical stress. Vani raged uncontrollably, tearing at vines wherever her hands could reach, or otherwise using her teeth where they could not. At first, the vines grew back quickly, each replaced by two others, but this replenishment began to slow and Mani had dropped any semblance of a smile.

 

Having recovered my composure, I approached Vani less than carefully and prodded at the nearest vine. “Where are these coming from?” I asked. Vani roared and clawed in my direction, which I avoided with a quick step backwards.

 

“Can you please not do that!” Mani pleaded.

 

“Awww, what’s the matter? You afraid she’s incapable of taking care of herself?” Vani mocked, her fangs fully exposed and her voice coated with venom.

 

Now I, being the completely rational person that I am, took offence to this. “Let her go,” I commanded.

 

The struggling stopped and both girls looked at me confused. “What?” they asked in unison.

 

“You heard me, let her go.”

 

“I don’t think that’s-“ Mani began. I gave her one stern look and either through seeing my resolve or no longer having the strength, she pulled backwards and her vines dissipated into nothingness.

 

“Foolish!” Vani screamed, pouncing towards me and pinning me to the floor. She roared, long and deep. I tried moving an arm, but her full body weight stopped me, and yet; I wasn’t scared.

 

“Congratulations, you have bested this innocent, helpless fox. Whatever do you plan on doing with me?” I mocked.

 

Vani’s eyes flashed with red fury. She brought her lips close to my ear and whispered, “now I take control.” Her fangs wedged deep into my neck and a thick black miasma flowed into the newly punctured holes. My vision grey blurry, my body colder and I could feel myself losing consciousness. Without meaning to, I thought of Ratio and of Miss, the time we had spent and the laughter we had shared. Surprisingly these memories helped renew heat into my core and I found my consciousness slowly returning. I held onto these memories and pushed back against Vani, besting her in the process. She retracted her fangs with a look of confusion. “That was supposed to work!” Vani roared. Without hesitating, she plunged her fangs into the opposite side of my neck, but I pushed back against her once more. Sensing that she was losing, her hands turned into claws that tore at my skin, leaving behind deep black wounds that were extremely painful. I thought through those too. Having nothing left to her, the vessel retracted vine and claw and let out an anguished scream. “Why isn’t this working?! This is supposed to work!” Her breathing grew heavy and tears began to form in her eyes; she leant back exhausted and grew silent.

 

Taking advantage of Vani’s exhaustion, I freed my arm and brought it to her head, running it gently across her scalp in a repeated motion. She recoiled at my touch but didn’t break contact. “What are you doing?” she asked tentatively.

 

“Taking a page from Miss’s book.” I freed my other arm and pulled her head into my chest, letting the rhythm of my breathing calm the girl down while I ran circles in her hair. She struggled of course, weakly and half-heartedly before abandoning her feigned attempts. Her hands gripped against my arms and I smiled to myself when I realised her heartbeat was beginning to normalise. We lay like that for some time before I next spoke.

 

Ceasing my motions, I helped Vani into an upright position, keeping my movements slow and controlled. Examining her face told me that she had calmed down, and while her eyes were pudgy from the crying, they no longer held any anger behind them. I made a motion to stand.

 

“Well ladies, I believe I’ve figured out why it’s that we’re all here,” I announced as I finished dusting myself off. “Call it intuition, but something tells me my role here is to get the two of you onto some form of common ground. But before I tackle that colossal task…” I crossed my arms and stretched, grimacing at the strain on my fresh wounds. “I’m going to need a drink and a strong one at that.”

 

As if on cue, a small shack with a cocktail bar; one that I had seen in one of the legacy rom-coms I had watched with Ratio, materialised on the edge of the waterfall. It was fully stocked and even came with some bandages and creams that I used to makeshift patch myself up; with Mani’s help of course.

 

I sat in the centre with both girls taking their seats on either side of me, as far away from each other as they could manage. I examined the fancy glass in front of me, filled with a red and orange slush-like substance, took one sip from the fancy straw and then spat it out across the counter. “People drink this!?” I exclaimed.

 

Mani observed my display quietly while she drank an orange juice; a stark contrast to Vani who was laughing with delight at my disgust, holding no drink to speak off. I tried another alcoholic drink and spat that one out too. “Stars! Do they all taste this way?” I asked no one in particular. I decided two attempts were enough and settled for an apple juice, again conveniently prepared for me.

 

Nesting back into my seat I downed the full contents of the glass, placed it down carefully and let out a satisfied breath. The sky was beginning to clear and I felt now would be a good time to engage in blind diplomacy.

 

“So...” Both girls looked at me expectedly. “I’ll start by confessing I’m not entirely sure how I want to start. If either of you has any ideas, I’m all 4 ears.” There was no answer. “Amazing!” I rubbed the back of my neck and rolled my shoulders. “Fine, you then.” I pointed at Vani.

 

“What about me,” she asked, the grin dropping from her face.

 

“Presume I can give you anything. Anything that isn’t total control and or independence that is. What would it look like? What’s the driving factor behind your actions?”

 

Vani let out a malicious laugh. “What I want you can’t give me.” I was about to interrupt but a vine squeezed my hand gently and somehow, I got the intent that Mani was requesting me to remain silent. So, I did.

 

Vani continued. “Honestly, you’re an embarrassment. It used to be that we took whatever we wanted, placed ourselves above people and didn’t care about their whimsical feelings. Where do you get off trying to be righteous? Pretending that you’ve turned over some new leaf!” she slammed her fist against the counter. “I bet it was nice playing pet. Being told to break down your barriers so that your owner could further indoctrinate and brainwash you. You disgust me and quite frankly you’re an insult to everything we used to stand for. Let me make one thing clear, you’re no saint. You don’t get a redo; you don’t get to be happy. You’re not a good person and no amount of false propaganda will fix that!” Panting heavily, she sat back down and crossed her arms, scowling all the while.

 

Talk about a quick behaviour change. Then again, I didn’t take her for the rational type. I’m not going to say her words didn’t hurt me. Because they did, they hurt quite a bit. A big problem with opening up is that you run the risk of feeling emotional pain all over again. But I am strong and I am loved. That goes further than you think.

 

I took in a large breath, as I so often do; drew it down, deep into my robotic decorative lungs and let it back out. “I’m not a good person,” I admitted.

 

“Now wait, that’s not true-“

 

I held up a hand causing Mani to fall silent. “It’s true. Consider what I’ve done and where my choices led. My profession was developing weapons of mass destruction. Sure, I justified in my head that my work was necessary. That any ethical responsibility wasn’t mine so long as I wasn’t the one to pull the trigger, but that’s fairy-tail logic. Ultimately, I was the one that designed the weapons; whether or not they failed, an intent was still there. Pilots lost their lives and the Accord put down rebel insurgents as a result of my influence, my work… I might not have dealt the final blow, but my hands are stained in their blood and that’s something I will carry for the remainder of my life. Someone will try to absolve me of my sins, tell me I didn’t know, or that it wasn’t my fault, but that’s just not the case; their lives came at the cost of financially filling my pockets! I’m a genius! I could have done anything, became a doctor or a politician and helped people! But no, I chose the most profitable field because I wanted to be better than everyone, set myself up and distance myself from the lower rabble…” I let out a quick, frustrated sigh. “I error up with my life choices. I was greedy and cruel and short-sighted. I did what was necessary to survive and so much more. I am not a good person, but I am also not a bad person; I am at my core ultimately human and cursed to bear all their flaws. But we can change. We are changing! Don’t you see, we don’t need to be that person anymore. It’s time that we evolve. We can’t keep living in the past of our sins or the shadows of others; now is the time for us to break free and lay, found or claw any path we need to go forward. Now-!”

 

I stopped, my brain finally catching up with my mouth. I sat back down and gave a slightly nervous laugh. “Sorry, I don’t know where that all came from. I opened my mouth and the words just kinda came out.” I attempted to drink from my glass and was disappointed to find it empty, forgetting I had finished it only a moment ago. I gave another nervous laugh and then the three of us sat in silence. Despite her stoic persona, I could see Vani was giving me genuine attention. I had her focus, now I had to capitalise on it. I allowed myself a moment to recollect my thoughts and then continued.

 

“If you’re anything like me, then I have to believe that you hold your family bonds above all else. Even if I’m not the original I know in my heart that aspect is true and untouched. Ratio is our sister and perhaps the last true living legacy of the original’s goodwill. I’m not doing this for us, I’m doing this for her. You can hate me, think I’m a traitor or anything else that helps you sleep at night, but don’t punish her for my actions.”

 

I removed myself from the seat, put my knees to the ground and bowed. “Please, I am begging you. Work with me; not against me and I will do everything I can to become a person our sister can be proud of.”

 

Another silence.

 

The sounds of footsteps moved towards me, came to a halt and were quickly followed by the expulsion of air. “Words cannot describe how dirty of a trick that was to play,” Vani scowled. “Get up, no one wants to see you prostrated on the floor.” I brought my head up and found her arm outstretched and took it, allowing her to help me up. “I will think upon your words but I am not agreeing to anything at this stage.”

 

“Thank you,” I said with sincerity.

 

The vessel scoffed and walked away before dissipating into a fog that was quickly replaced by nothing. Her departure calmed the land around us leaving me alone with the manifestation.

 

“Well, that went well, and quick too. That can’t have been more than what? 5 minutes, 10 minutes?” I laughed.

 

“That was dangerous,” Mani rebuked.

 

I shrugged and stretched, now feeling a little lighter. “It was necessary. In the future do me a favour; don’t wrap her up in vines. It’ll only agitate her and make my life more difficult.”

 

Mani hugged me once more. “Agreed, but next time you have to listen to my wants.”

 

“Deal!” I replied, before being struck with intense nausea and a deep desire to lie down. I held my head and pressed my full body weight into Mani, who held me up. “I take it that means I’m not going to be here for much longer?”

 

Mani shook her head. “I’m afraid you’re reaching your mental limit, but don’t worry you’ll probably end up waking as if nothing has happened.”

 

“Probably?” I asked. “Exactly how many times have I visited this place and had this conversation?”

 

Her hand came to her mouth in thought. “I would say you have visited me 5 times now and in regards to this conversation, never; this is the first.” I sighed which caused Mani to hold my arm. “Is something wrong?”

 

“No, I’m just thinking that some of the stuff that came up today I thought I had beaten. But I guess that’s trauma for you; it’s not the type of thing you can overcome with a one-time event. Nope! It’s a continuous battle and one I’m in for the long haul. But I’m doing better and I will win. And that’s a promise!”

 

Mani’s embrace grew stronger and I found myself using my rapidly depleting energy reserves to hold her arm. It wasn’t a lot, but the intent was there. “I am looking forward to celebrating that day with you. See you soon and don’t be doing anything stupid with our body,” she said.

 

A stupid grin spread across my face and I broke the embrace. “Come now, this is me we’re talking about. When am I not doing something stupid!”

 

Mani rolled her eyes and sighed, but only temporarily and she quickly beamed a smile my way.

 

“See you around,” I added with a wave, and with that my focus dissipated into the void.

 

 

I awoke slightly agitated but with full memories of the dream that had transpired. Miss’s vines were already in each of my hands and I found myself lightly stimming on them.

 

“Good morning, darling.”

 

“Good morning, Miss,” I replied.

 

“How are you feeling? Your neural network was spiking with activity.”

 

I thought back on the dream and the conversations that took place. “I’m fine, just taking another step to reach the goal you set out for me.”

 

“Oh?” she asked.

 

“Mhm, and for now I refuse to elaborate in favour of more sleep,” I added with a yawn.

 

“Very well, but you will be updating me when we have breakfast later. Is there anything I can do to help you get some more sleep?”

 

“Absolutely!” I replied. I took the vine in my right hand and brought it to my head, letting it rest there while my hand came back down to hold foxy. I leant further into Miss’s chest and without a further word she started to run little circular motions across my scalp, causing my mind to shiver with delight before going into a warm gentle numbness. I nodded off listening to the sound of her heartbeat.