This time, my vision came back first. My eyes burned as if they’d been open for ages, but only just now began to process sight. Blinking rapidly, I felt the surroundings around me begin to rebuild and exist again. I groaned and shifted in bed, my neck stiff and my body strangely sore. More than anything, my lower body… I blushed at the thought. It felt…odd. Empty? Flushed?

I hated the thought as soon as I had it. What happened? I closed my eyes and strained to even remember anything. Something inside of me-

My head shot up in alarm. Something like that had happened. Right? My head swiveled to the bedside dresser, where my vibrator laid in an open drawer.

No, it was…fingers. Fingers, right? That were… I slowly brought my fingers to the damp fabric of my underwear. “I love…”

“…”

Where did that thought come from? From outside, and also deep within… 

Her eyes hooded.

No closer to remembering anything, left only with the thought of emptiness and the faint aches of pleasure still remaining, she gingerly took the vibrator in her hand. Maybe if she could trace back her steps and replicate what happened, she’d remember more. Did it happen in the first place? With the vibrator?

Wasn’t this… something, she didn’t like? Bad? Not bad, but… she didn’t… know…? Shouldn’t she get out of bed and do something else, instead of obsessively try to remember-

What brief alarm of intelligence there’d been was drowned out by the jolt of her body screaming in soreness and pleasure as the vibrator brushed against her clit. She closed her eyes, and readjusted it to sink deeper, and deeper… Without a thought, she inserted the vibrator inside for what she still thought to be the first time that night. Her fingers, no longer under her own control, idly turned the switch on as a low buzzing began echoing in her ears once more. What small remaining personality left in her began fading away in the vibrations that seemed to radiate throughout her entire body.

Her last desperate thought was to open her eyes, though she couldn’t see anything. Instead, she heard laughter.

“Back then, are you? I’ve been watching you for a good thirty minutes.”

Had half an hour passed by so quickly?

“I just left to give your body a break, but really to pick up some more of your favorite… Do you know how many times I’ve had to wash that vibe in the past 24 hours?”

Clarity returned to her eyes only to see a cold smile, dripping with pity, lust, contempt.

“I… hours- a day?” Her voice felt distant, though the chill down her back and fear felt too close for comfort. “I have to— Ghhk!”

“I’m talking.” The vibrator lodged itself deeper, wiping away any traces of words in her brain. “Anyway, you don’t have to do anything, not like you are now. Except apparently masturbate yourself silly every time you wake up. Have you even realized that?”

Michelle waited for an answer to no avail. “Ah, my bad.” She removed her palm from the hilt of the vibrator and pulled it out in a single motion.

The pitiful shadow of a girl gasped for air as she curled her body in a ball, jerking and twitching all the while. “What-“ She gulped in between breaths. “What’s happening to, what are you doing to-“

“Tsk.” She scowled. “This is why I went to get more.” The words fell on deaf, uncaring ears. The questions, the tears, the lucidity. It was an inconvenience more than anything. She plastered a fake smile back on. “Don’t worry baby! This is why I got these. They’re much faster, and we’ll get you feeling back to normal in no time.” She pulled out a lighter.

“No!! You can’t, make me—!” She scrambled up to her knees, lifting her leg and preparing to jump off of the bed until a wave of lust crashed into her, as her body crumpled back down on the bed.

“What do good girls say, now?” Michelle asked sweetly as her fingers twisted inside of the girl’s cunt.

“I… I…” Her fear faded away. “I love you,” she whispered, the voice so full of dedication she fooled herself. Of course she loved her. Why wouldn’t she? Her body relaxed and her mind went quiet.

“Good girl. Stay like that- yes, good, just like this so you can still feel goooood here, and inhale and breathe in when I tell you… …”

—

I can’t keep taking these.

She snapped herself back into consciousness with that thought. Her hand held the remains of a familiar scent, a heavy scent lingering in the back of her nose and throat. She closed her fist in resignation.

“Baby,” Michelle’s voice drawled as she draped her arms around the shivering figure from the side. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” Didn’t…know. Her vision swam as she struggled to look down, to plan her escape. She had at least a few minutes, right? Before… 

As she peered over the bed, she saw five other burnt ends, scattered on the ground in various, shorter lengths.

How much time had passed?

“I don’t know, how much time do you think has passed?”

Had she said that out loud?

“God, this was a good idea. You get fucked up so much faster. I mean, I had you swallow a few in case they didn’t, but that only makes it better for both of us in a little while anyway.” Michelle whispered into her ear. “What’s it going to be like in an hour from now? When you’re already so fucked up you haven’t even noticed what’s inside of you?”

She craned her neck for what felt like an eternity as she looked down, half of a bottle protruding from her pussy.

“I also got you a lil drunk, you know… to wash it down. Just in case.”

The giggles welled up from within- From the crazed lust, or maybe the nervous fear that had no other way of escape, or perhaps from the neck of the beer bottle still lodged inside its cunt.

“Yeah? You losing yourself for me? You going somewhere faaar away?” Michelle grinned as she pinched its nipples. “What’s on your mind? What’s left of it, anyway.”

Its hands moved down, the sensations almost foreign as it explored its body. Fingers wrapped carefully around the end of the bottle, but didn’t have the strength or coordination to take it out.

“That’s RIGHT baby, it’s inside of you!” Michelle cooed. “Do we know what that reminds you of?”

Any processing power had long been shut down, overwhelmed with whispered words and chemical and physical lust.

Luckily, there was a shortcut.

“I love you,” it whispered in a human-like voice, before the weight of everything that had happened to its body crashed at the peak of worldly sensations, and it was wiped away in an ego-ending climax.

———

More and more of her dissolved each time she was… missing. She couldn’t bear to think of herself as ‘gone’, when she was like that. If she did… If she did, if she did…

She curled her fingers around her ears as if to block out the thought. She didn’t like it. It made her feel bad. She didn’t like feeling this way. Feeling this way was bad. Her eyes lit up with acknowledgment, hope. Quickly, her fingers dove inside the waistband of her underwear, and—

Ahh, that felt better. So much better. She loved feeling like this. The groan that escaped from her throat was humiliating, but not enough to stop the blush from rising to her face nor her fingers from teasing at her entrance with more fervor.

This felt good. This was good. If it felt good, it was good, for her. It was good for her to feel this way. Even if she didn’t know it herself, Michelle would teach her. Michelle always knew what was good for her.

“I love you…” the words flowed out effortlessly. “I love her, I love Michelle, I, – ahh!” 

With great reluctance and difficulty she pulled her wet fingers away with her other hand, though she yearned to resist it all the while. This was bad. “This IS bad,” she muttered through gritted teeth. Somehow, forcing herself to say it out loud helped a little. It was another fucking trap, just something designed to keep her… kept, to keep her feeling good, to keep her loving her… but she did love her, but she’d gone too far, and…

Her head filled up with static and uncomfortable noise. Didn’t want to feel like this, felt bad, bad to feel this way,

needed to feel better, needed to feel good,

Her fingers slid back down her body.

Feeling good was good, good to feel good, feeling good was good for her, 

Her hands slipped the panties off and flung them off of her legs.

Feeling good was better than feeling bad, feeling good was good for her, Michelle knew what was good for her, Michelle LOVE LOVE Michelle I love her I love her love love this love her don’t need to do anything but love this and love-

“Started without me already, hmm?” The voice that she so dearly loved wrapped back around her as all the tension and air in her body seemed to dissipate. She wiped her slick fingers on her thighs and laid back down, her arms splayed out and her body in the most vulnerable display she could muster.

“We’ve got to fix you, though. This isn’t bad for you, remember? I don’t know where that came from,” Michelle murmured lovingly as she stroked her face. “This can only be good for you, because I’m doing it to you, remember? Ah, that’s right!” She brought a finger up in an eureka moment. “It’s hard to remember when you’re like this, which is why we have that shortcut- the one you were using just now,” she hummed with a grin, all teeth, as she gently moved her knee in between the greedy, limp legs that had been trembling for attention.

The little slut began grinding her hips and clenching her thighs around her savior’s leg, thank god she was here, thank god she could tell her what was good for her, thank god she loved it, if she didn’t she could just use its body as much as she wanted and it’d still love her back, and she’d use it until it would break and it’d still love her and it’d thank her for breaking her, and it’d-

“Cum.”

And it did.

…

It didn’t disappear this time. Or go missing. Its chest heaved with heavy gasps, catching its breath after the orgasm. Was this the same position? Time hadn’t mysteriously passed, had it?

“You look confused baby.” Michelle looked on with pity. “What’s up? Didn’t that feel good?”

“Yes…felt good,” it stammered lamely. “Nothing…gone?”

Michelle’s eyebrow furrowed with mock concern. “What do you mean, gone?”

“Uh…the…” Lazy, weak fingers pointed to its head. “The… this one. The me.”

“Uhh, baby…” she laughed nervously. “What do you mean, you? You’re right here, right?”

It was…here. Right now. It was here. 

“That’s it, good. You’re here. You’ve always been here. You’ve always been like this.”

Always been like this? That didn’t feel right.

“What’s on your mind, sweet one?” Michelle idly flicked a nipple.

It gasped. That felt right— good? Right. Good was right.

“Don’t mind me, just fidgeting. What were you trying to say?” Her fingers rolled around its nipple gently.

“I, it, uh…” Words felt trapped, blocked out by the arousal from even the hint of touch.

“Yes, it?”

“It…?” It closed its eyes tightly, trying to find the words. “It…feels good?” Somehow, those hadn’t felt like the right words, but somehow they felt correct.

“Yes yes, what else does ‘it’ feel?” Michelle asked with a lilt in her voice, as if fighting back a laugh.

Was this what was supposed to… what this what it meant to say? 

It could no longer tell. All it knew in this moment was answering Michelle.

“It…it doesn’t know,” it admitted, the guilty confession simmering throughout her entire body. “It, feels good, it loves you? It wants…” Its legs tried to wrap around Michelle’s leg again.

“Wants love, wants more feel good, it wants…” The words melted into a moan as Michelle pinched its nipple with glee.

“Good…” Her voice faltered for a second. “…little thing, that’s exactly what I was looking for. It wants to feel better? It wants more?” Michelle cooed.

It nodded silently, eyes shimmering with love and lust and worship.

“Open your mouth and stick your tongue out, and swallow every. Single. One. Until I tell you to stop.”

It closed its eyes, fully trusting and eager for more. Deep inside it, it hoped she’d never stop.

Taking drugs was all it was fucking good for.