Quick Washes
Blue
by xangoh
She decided to be indulgent. "They, um, they are," she chuckled, "they're very blue."
Just the hoariest cliche in the book. Couldn't even wait to sit down. As soon as she'd walked her back, as soon as the door had closed, the girl had grabbed Ursula by the wrist and asked her to look into her eyes.
First-timer or no, if it'd been a man she'd have slapped him down. A man would have been trying to dominate, play hypnotize the hypnotherapist. But the girl—Bridget—seemed too nervous and pressed for that. There was some kind of urgency in her. Maybe she was just going through something, maybe she was literally reaching out. Maybe she didn't know she was even doing a trope.
In the wide, placid blue of the girl's gaze it was hard to believe she was anything other than an innocent.
"But like, really blue," the girl said. "Like you could just sink right into them."
Blue like the sea, Ursula thought. She must have said it aloud. Bridget smiled, almost ruefully. "People always say that."
There was a stilted pause, while their eyes held, and all at once Ursula felt a weakness overcome her. She took a clumsy step back and banged into the edge of her desk and let it shore her up. "Whoah there," Bridget said, taking her elbow. Ursula tried to play it off and reached behind her to fumble for the girl's file.
"You OK?" Bridget asked. It was extraordinary how blue her eyes were. Too blue. "Let's get you sitting down."
She let herself be led over to the couch. Bridget plopped down right beside her, the two of them practically touching, but Ursula didn't have the strength to move, or to ask Bridget to. Appropriateness as a topic would have to wait. The girl scanned the office for a moment or two, taking in whatever there was in the small space to take in. Ursula rested the side of her head against the wall. When Bridget's gaze returned to her Ursula let out a small sigh.
Bridget smiled, and rested her fingers against her therapist's cheek. "You like looking into my eyes," she said. Ursula nodded. Everything was alright. "Looking into my eyes calms you."
Ursula sighed again, bigger this time. "Looking into your eyes calms me," she agreed. The girl's touch was so cool and comforting against her skin, it shouldn't be there but Ursula couldn't bear the thought of it being removed just yet. She rested herself in the touch and in Bridget's eyes and let her strength come back.
"Your eyes are so beautiful," she murmured at last. Bridget beamed at her, and stroked her thumb on her cheek. Ursula felt fizzy and lightheaded. "Who are you?" she whispered to the girl.
Bridget giggled, and took her hand away. Ursula got herself more upright. "I'm your new patient, silly," she said. "The girl whose problems you're gonna fix."
"It's, um," Ursula glanced down, "we say client actually." A thick layer of embarrassment wrapped itself around her. The file, meager as it was, was still in her hand, and she opened it. She was fucking this up. Be professional. "Right. I'm sorry, I don't, uh, lemme see,—“ The print swam in front of her eyes. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. "Did you self-refer or—”
Bridget made a shushing noise and put her hand over Ursula's. "There's nothing we need in there." She took the file and skimmed it onto the floor. Ursula watched the contents spill. "It's ok, it's all fake anyway. I'm not even Bridget, if you want to get technical." She winked. "Still call me that though, I think it works for us."
Well this is one for the books, Ursula thought. Suddenly the whole thing was funny to her. It was too outlandish to be anything but. "You're, uh, you're telling me you faked your intake info to me, and that's because ...?"
"Well to get in the door, silly." Bridget, or "Bridget," shrugged. "I'm careful about leaving tracks. Not that you'd be a threat or anything, just— I like to know I can trust someone before I open up to them, you know?"
"Unorthodox way to establish trust," Ursula grumbled, but she couldn't really feel salty about it. In spite of what she was saying, there didn't seem an ounce of guile in the girl. "So, you're still here, do I, can I assume then ..."
"That you pass muster? Oh honey!" Bridget laughed and caught up both of Ursula's hands. "I thought you were gonna be way more of a challenge!" Her good humor was so infectious Ursula had to laugh with her, thought she wasn't quite sure about what.
"I had exactly one therapist before, back in high school? and she was such a fucking dragon, so I was really nervous about this, but you're a trip!" Bridget gave Ursula her hands back. "We are gonna have so much fun tog—, I mean—"
Ursula gave her a stern side-eye. "Yeah, fun is not at all—"
"I know I know," Bridget waved her hand in front of her, "it's not fun it's work, it's real therapy, yadda yadda ..."
"Yeah, well, all of that, actually," Ursula said. "Which we'll need to talk about before we get much further. And," as Ursula gathered herself to get up off the couch, "since the hour's not getting any younger ..."
"Oh no, come on," Bridget said, taking Ursula by the wrist again to stay her. "Come on, it's the first day of school. No work? I promise, you'll trance me and I'll spill my entire guts to you next time" she said, tugging on Ursula's arm for emphasis, "today I want to know all about you. It's only fair, teacher always has to introduce herself first." Ursula felt her resolve waver, and Bridget's next tug brought her back down.
Her head felt heavy still, and she rested it back on the wall. This is not setting any precedents, Ursula told herself. I'm just tired. "Alright," she sighed, "first day of school. What do you want to know?"
Bridget put her head against the wall to match Ursula. "Well," she said, her mouth puckered in amusement, "first I want to know how blue my eyes really are."
Ursula wanted to laugh, she wanted to pity the girl's vanity and neediness, but of course they were such a blue, the bluest on earth, it stilled her mind just looking into them. "Blue like the sea," she murmured quietly, and lost herself in the spindrift and deep swell of the tide.