My travels have afforded me time to reflect on many erotic and incredible desires. For myself, I tend to crave the Dominance... The Control...

 

I get off on it.

 

To me, a sub is like a elegant instrument. A piece of art that needs a Dom to truly realize his or her potential. When a D/s relationship blooms under the right conditions, they make for the most wonderful and powerful symphonies. A Stradivarius will never produce a beautiful melody while being played by a mechanic trying to be a musician. And likewise, a world class musician could never create an opus with a monkey wrench.

 

Both are needed.

 

Along the way, I have discovered a simple truth that in my mind, has brought me to question what I really like about Dominance. This realization has even brought me to question if I am a true Dom. I’ve had this discussion many times and some understand it, and others simply do not. And after much thought, I believe that I am. Even if I seem to contradict myself.

 

A simple statement that is often hidden deep inside all good Doms. Some realize it, others don’t...

 

But a good Dom will act according to this statement, even if they don't know they are. I’ve found many during my travels and discussions, most realize it, but don’t speak about it. Some fear what it truly means while others embrace it.

 

And of course, I see many Doms that simply don’t understand or care about my upcoming statement. They tend to find eager subs that embrace their rule and they live it out in marvelous and erotic ways. Are they bad?

 

Probably not.

 

I can certainly understand the rush and the allure of gaining dominance over a willing sub. To the point that it can even go to ones head. I can safely say that the fantasy of it has pushed me to write any number of stories. Especially in cases where special powers are involved. I mean... How would you react? Once you discovered you could manipulate the minds of anyone you meet?

 

Regardless... I digress...

 

Here is the statement: A good Dom is in actuality, the one doing all the serving.

 

For a truly amazing and beautiful Dominance and Submission, a Dom MUST earn the right to dominate the sub. Although all Doms crave the control, the mastery and the pure bliss of having their needs taken care of by a good and obedient sub. 

 

I’ve come to believe in my heart that the true role of a Dom is to serve.

 

Yes... To serve... The Dom is there to give and support the sub that has decided to submit to their will.

 

A truly beautiful and wondrous thing...

 

There must be trust in the subs heart for them to truly give in and relinquish their will to another. That can only happen when they know in their hearts that the Dom will give them what they need. What they craves... 

 

They are the ones that ultimately decides what that is.

 

I can hear some of you that are saying that subs don’t always know what they need. And that is true. But what they NEED, is to discover it under your guidance.

 

To blossom... To bloom under a Dom’s guiding hand.

 

In truth, being a good Dom is a lot of work. Of course, if done properly, the Dom gets what they are looking for as well. It becomes a symbiotic relationship where the lines of Domination and submission become crystal clear, while being completely blurred.

 

After all... In a healthy D/s relationship, the sub can always say their safe word... Tap out and stop the dominance...

 

And as for Subs, you are not off the hook either. 

 

You have to make sure a Dom is truly worthy of your gift before throwing yourself at their mercy. 

 

Make no mistake: you hold all the power. 

 

It is your choice to give it to another. A sub that is too eager to give it up will not find true and complete submission. You also have responsibilities towards your Dom. Just as they will push you further and further, step by step so you can adapt, experience, and push through each demand or experience. So too must you burden your Dom with your submission. Step by step, giving up control and giving them the responsibilities you no longer wish to have. 

 

I see some relationships online that feel unhealthy. I speak with some followers that clearly don't understand this. I pity both Dom and Sub for not being able to move past the superficial gain they get from this type of relationship. 

 

Especially since it can be so rewarding for both... In so many ways...

 

So please my fellow Doms, cherish the exquisite gift you are given. You can’t force it.

 

You can only nurture it.