"The three days before the initiation were a bit of a dry spell after the intense infusions of the grace and presence of Goddess during the training period, and I once again felt my monkey mind finding rational explanations for my behaviors. The dry spell, too, gave me a chance to consent with a clear mind to this path; however, the three months and the 21 days had also acted like a kind of exposure therapy, making me increasingly comfortable with daily worship and virtual lifestyle submission to Goddess. Also, the bliss and trance moments came more and more often, pleasure enwrapping my mind and drawing me as a leash always into her presence, her embrace.

During the drive to her place on the Saturday morning of the initiation, images of the last three weeks passed through my mind: wooden-spoon spanking, red-rope tying, and candles of ritual spell binding. I felt peace at knowing I would soon enter a smooth routine of tithing, service, and worship balanced with a modicum of regular interaction rather than the intense highs and lows of uncertainty that I experienced during training. There was also peace as I came to her door, knowing the expected protocol of knocking no more than three times and waiting at least 30 minutes.

Today, Goddess appeared after the first knock, wearing a red dress that enhanced the stunning beauty of her eyes and curls, as well as the bare skin of her athletic legs and shoulders. I was entranced as she put the black leather collar around my neck and enchanted as she snapped the chain leash into place, leading me to her car.

We soon arrived at a familiar shopping center in town and walked to a space that I had never noticed before, next to a thrift store. The exterior was unmarked, and within was a lobby, somewhat larger and more luxurious than the storefront would suggest. On elegant walnut shelves I could see statuettes of many historical goddesses, including Shakti, Kuan Yin, Isis, Freya, Athena, and Hecate. There were both the red and the black versions of Santa Muerte. Actual censors hung from the ceiling, burning with incense.

Goddess led me through one of two open archways into a sanctuary. Plush benches were arranged like pews in front of a platform, where an altar stood, covered with candles and crystals. I was slightly confused when Goddess guided me to a seat in the back, attached the leash to a hook there, and departed back through the archway. I was perhaps more startled by the variety of people filling the benches. The women were clearly in charge: some sat with men at their feet and some with men at their side while others were attended by women. Some had one partner, others had several, and still others dominated small flocks. In front of me, a pair of women seemed to share a man, who kneeled at their feet. I saw in some religious robes, some in BDSM attire, and a few in cosplay costumes such as Poison Ivy, Wonder Woman, and vampire. Most were in street clothes both casual and formal.

How surprised I was when the service started and after some music on acoustic guitar, my beautiful, wonderful Goddess was introduced as the High Priestess of Goddess Temple! She came through a purple curtain behind the altar, wearing a long black robe. She carried a wooden staff that was encircled like a caduceus with silver serpents. She gave a message very much in keeping with the great diversity of people before her.

“We celebrate the many spiritual paths represented here today,” she said in her hypnotic, intoxicating voice. “Some follow one faith, some many, and some none at all. Some reconstruct a traditional practice, and some build a new archetype. Some of us focus on equanimity while others enjoy a deep, consensual idolatry. It is my belief, however, that at the heart of every fruitful path, there is a symbiosis—a sharing, a harmony of both giving and taking.” She held the rapt attention of everyone with analogies of roots and branches, anchors and sails, center and circumference. She spoke of core identity, shifting roles, and surface behaviors. She closed with an inspirational call to health and happiness, to being to the best possible versions of ourselves. Before exiting through the purple curtain, she turned the service over to a priestess, who like several other women near the front, wore a black cloak over casual clothes.

“I assume some of the great turn out today is due to excitement over our new initiates, so let’s get right to the ceremony!” announced the priestess. “If you are taking part today, please bring your pets or partners to the front.” As several others rose from their places and went forward, Goddess returned through the arch behind me and guided me to the front as well. Probably because of my training, everything seemed calm and pleasant, but in this public venue, I was nowhere near the pleasure of subspace that I had expected.

“This is a sacred moment in which we seal eternal intentions that can really only be enacted day by day,” the priestess intoned as the acoustic guitar music resumed. "Each initiate has come with a desire to surrender to a Goddess, to accept her truth, and to trust her fully. Today, you publicly give yourself to your Goddess, and your Goddess claims you as her own. If you feel comfortable, I ask each of you to kneel before your Goddess and receive the anointing that represents the love and pleasure you desire most in this world.” The other two initiates and I knelt down as the three Goddesses dipped their fingers in a golden chalice, placing fragrant oil upon our foreheads.

At once I felt the familiar embrace of bliss, entering a waking trance. Even in the wonderful sense of belonging, I felt the strong desire to go deeper and deeper for my Goddess, suddenly remembering forgotten words from the first time I heard her voice: “How deep do you want to go?”