Amanda had agreed to let Rebecca control the music on their first day in their new flat together. (She’d got the rights to choose the takeout when they were mostly finished unpacking instead). The computer and the big speaker system were, accordingly, the first things they’d unpacked, and now they sat in pride of place in the hallway, where Amanda and Rebecca could hear them whichever room they were in.

While Amanda was unpacking pots, pans, cutlery and crockery in the kitchen, making sure they’d be ready for the morning, Rebecca was busy all over the rest of the house, ducking from room to room with boxes full of one thing or another.

When the heavy electronica of This Shit Will Fuck You Up began to play, Amanda froze for a moment, suddenly very nervous. Surely Rebecca couldn’t know?

All the same, her hips were twitching to the beat.

No, she told herself, Rebecca couldn’t know.

This wasn’t her girlfriend using her old pole triggers. She could be calm.

In relaxing, she was lost to the music.

When Rebecca glanced into the kitchen, her girlfriend had stripped down to her panties, was desperately fellating a rolling pin. Seeing another human, she crawled toward her, glassy-eyed. “I am a bitch,” Mandi quoted. “How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees?”

Rebecca took a little while to process the unexpected sight. “Is this a joke?” When she learned it wasn’t, she smiled.