V

March 27,

God, I really hate being sick! Yesterday was rough. I slept about twelve hours straight and when I was awake, I was coughing the whole time. My throat is burning, and my voice keeps getting worse and worse. If you were to hear me now, you would mistake me for a seventy-year-old man who smokes three or four packs of cigarettes a day, I kid you not! I’m so tired that it’s even hard to move my fingers to type this, but I wanted to update you all. I honestly can’t tell if my body’s responding as it should or not, but I hope so. I’m loathing every moment of this so far.
My eyes hurt and I need to go to bed again. I’ll add to this diary again when I can.

March 29,

Well, this is annoying! I asked you guys to send me good vibes and maybe leave a positive review or two, and while some of you did that - thank you! - others decided to ruin my mood even further by leaving obnoxious comments on my site. If you don’t like my content, that’s fine and all, but you don’t have to be dicks about it. I mean, look at this shit!
“I bought this file two weeks ago, hoping for a good time. It started out nicely - the induction was pleasing to follow along - but then it started hitting me with obnoxious feminization suggestions that came out of the blue. I don’t want to be a woman! What the hell is this crap? 1 star for trying to erase my masculinity. What the fuck?”
What the fuck, indeed! The file is called 30 Days To Sissy, dumbass, and all the triggers are listed in the description, which you obviously didn’t try to read. Then again, I suppose I shouldn’t expect big brains from someone whose alias is Ballztothewall.
Here’s another one:
“After listening to the first five minutes of this file, it’s obvious the script was generated by AI and what’s with the voice program they used? You could at least go for something less robotic. Do you really expect me to believe you’re a woman? Fuck off! I’m telling everyone what a scam you are.”
You’re the scam, asshole! Of course, I am a woman! There are pictures of me everywhere, I have a verification video plastered on the main page of my site, and I talk to dozens of people online every week who know me! God, how fucking moronic can you be?
I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t be venting like this, but stuff like this makes absolutely no sense! And you wonder why dominant women get creeped out so easily. If you don’t know how to behave and are only in this to bitch about it, then go find another hobby, okay? We already deal with far too much crap every day, starting with the way most of society sees us. Sex workers are demonized left and right, and for what? Go on, tell me! You can’t, right? Yeah, I figured as much.
Luckily, you’re not all like this. I received a few wonderful messages too, and even some gifts to brighten my day, so thank you for that. Still, dealing with trolls and people who simply don’t get what I do and why I do it will always affect me even if I don’t show it. We all wear masks, and some days, they feel heavier.
I need to go to bed. Bye.

April 1

Slowly starting to feel better, and it’s no lie. I actually had planned to unveil a new file for April Fools’ Day, but I couldn’t work on it, so that idea will have to wait until next year, at least. 
So… the good news. The cough is gone, and I can move freely around the house without feeling I’m about to collapse. it’s downright scary but also amazing what a virus can do to the body, so always be sure to look after your health, okay?
This is for everyone who follows or serves me, but also to anyone reading this journal entry: before engaging in any kind of play, you must always make sure you’re doing well both physically and mentally. The world of hypnotic fantasies can be quite intense. If you’re not feeling 100%, you should stay clear from any mind-shattering activities lest they trigger you in the wrong way. When I was bored out of my life in bed fending off this piece of nastiness, there was a part of me that wanted the thrill, but I knew better. Had I played then, I would have done a disservice to me and to you as well. Never endanger a good thing. There are many fantasies out there, but only one life to live them, so make it count, but never push your luck.
Okay, with that out of the way, I expect to be completely out of the woods in the next couple of days. If you’ve been trying to reach out to me and I haven’t replied yet, I ask you to be patient for a while longer. Coordinating sessions and whatnot is a lot harder than keeping this journal. Respect the process and you’ll always be respected in return. Thank you.

April 5,

And we’re back in business! I had my first online session post-covid today. The subject asked me to remain anonymous but I’m at liberty to share something at least: pet play.
Yes, I had a lot of fun with a beautiful cat girl today. It was the first time she tried something like this but I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’ll never forget seeing her purr and rub her face against the screen after she was put under. I hope we can get another session going before the end of the month if she’s up for it.
In other news, Darren sent me some flowers in the afternoon, and my favorite ones to boot! The funny thing is that I never told him what they were, so someone’s been doing his homework. It was a nice gesture, and I appreciate it even though I was taken aback at first. I sent him a small “thank you” message that went like this:
“Thank you for the flowers, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did, and I wanted to. I know how it sucks to be sick, so I hope they made you smile.”
“Flowers always do but how did you know which to choose and where to send them to?”
“I didn’t know, so I asked around. One of your subjects in your Discord was kind enough to fill me in and even made the necessary arrangements for me to send them.”
“Who was it?”
“I’d rather keep my source a secret in case I need anything else in the future if you don’t mind,” he replied, adding a winking emoji at the end of the text.
“Okay. Keep your secrets for now. I’m sure I’ll find out eventually, anyway.”
“I’m sure you will. Have a good day.”
“You too.”
And that was it, a bit of friendly banter and nothing more. He didn’t ask for a session or try to take my time all to himself even though I was the one that started the conversation. He never ceases to surprise me with his kindness and attentiveness, traits I wish a few others had in spades.
Okay, it’s time to get back to recording the handful of scripts I’ve got here waiting in the wings. One is a special request involving fembots, so if that’s a kink of yours, I suggest you subscribe to my newsletter today as I’ll be sharing a snippet of it there. What are you waiting for?

April 9,

The last few days have been good for the most part. Plenty of sessions, lots of customers, most of them brand-new. Fetishes involved included memory play, feminization, and (light) financial domination. Save for two of them, all the sessions lasted between forty-five minutes to an hour. I played with various inductions and one or two new triggers, but not everything went smoothly.
One of the new clients freaked out when I started putting him under. I don’t know if it was something I said, but he got so spooked that he refused to keep going. We ended up spending the rest of the allotted time talking things through and I refunded him shortly after. I don’t think I’ll be hearing from him anytime soon.
In other news, Darren sent me flowers again today. I still don’t know who tipped him off about the things I like, but who doesn’t love a bit of attention with no ill intentions attached to it? This time, I didn’t thank him right away, but he didn’t complain. “All for a smile,” he said in an e-mail, and yes, I smiled. 
Later in the day, I recorded three more scripts and now have a plethora of new content to share with you all. The first file will appear in my store tomorrow. Be sure to check it out, okay?

April 10,

Have you downloaded Robot Nightmares yet? If not, you should because it’s one of the hottest files ever! This was the special request I talked to you about a few days back and was paid for by one of my regulars. In this session, a fembot that has become sentient has a little fun with your mind, programming it to obey her commands without question. It’s heavy on the brainwashing side and includes over ten different triggers to make you malleable and compliant to female authority, even coming from a machine. 
There’s one version with binaural beats and extra mechanical sound effects and one without those things. I recommend the former because the sound is richer and more involved, but you can’t go wrong with the latter either. During this week and the next, you get 25% off on all my sci-fi-themed creations, including this one, so this is a great time to catch up if you haven’t done so already. Don’t forget to leave a comment and a review afterward because positive word-of-mouth keeps my dreams going. Thank you and have fun.

April 11,

I got another gift from Darren today, this time a gift card to one of my favorite stores. As sweet as that is, I’m starting to get a little worried. I love getting presents but I don’t want him to get too carried away. I need to get a hold of him as soon as possible so we can discuss things going forward. I’m not sure he’s going to like what I have to say, but it has to be done before things escalate.

(…)

It’s almost midnight and I just got off the phone with Darren. We talked about some of his other fantasies, things he would love to explore in the future, and then we moved on to the tricky subject of presents. The first thing I told him was,
“We need to talk about your generosity, Darren.”
“Oh, did I do something wrong? You didn’t like your gifts?”
“I didn’t say that. I just want to be sure about your current state of mind. How have you been feeling?”
“I’m doing great, thank you. I can’t stop thinking about our sessions, though. I find myself thinking about them a lot lately. You could almost say I’ve been dreaming about them.”
“Dreaming? Just in your sleep or also when you’re awake?” I asked. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but I can’t deny I was starting to dread where the talk was going. “Have you been experiencing side effects from the hypnosis?”
“What type of side effects?”
“You just said you’ve been thinking about our experiences together a lot. Any addictive feelings popping up?”
“No, I’m not addicted!”
“Are you sure? It’s important for you to be honest with me so I can understand where you’re coming from.”
“I’m not addicted. Why are you asking me this?”
“I need to make sure you’re being extra generous with me because you really want to and not because your thoughts have been warped by our sessions. When people become addicted to hypnosis, sometimes they lose control of their emotions and inhibitions, and I don’t want that to happen, not to you or anyone else, do you understand?”
“I do, but I assure you you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’ve been thinking about things a lot because it’s really fun and I enjoy exploring new things with you. The gifts I’ve been sending you are just small tokens of affection to thank you for the wonderful moments together, but if it’s bothering you, I can stop, no problem.”
“Everybody loves gifts, Darren. I just don’t want you to overdo it. You need to be safe at all times while we’re having fun, and that includes managing your finances accordingly. Never overspend trying to impress me, okay?”
“Okay, and thank you for that. It’s good to know you’re looking out for me from a distance.”
“I’m always looking out for those I play with. It’s a necessary part of the process. If it’s not safe, then I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“Are all hypnodommes as ethical as you?”
“Most are, yes. You’ll find a few bad seeds here and there, and there are also many scammers out there who give us all a bad name, though.”
“Yeah, I’ve run into one or two in the past.”
“Oh? Care to share?”
“It happened on a server I used to be a part of. Out of nowhere, two women slid into my DMs and tried to get me to pay for the pleasure of being hypnotized by them that very instant.”
“The two at once? Curious, usually scammers work alone.”
“Well, these two were a pair and they were well coordinated, but I saw right through them and told them to fuck off. It was amazing!
“I bet. Glad you kept safe.”
“I always do. Have you ever had trouble with scammers yourself?”
“Yes, but it was short-lived. During the time I was away from the scene, someone tried to pass off as me and get people to pay for things they were never meant to deliver but one of my regulars caught the ruse right away and the community nuked the bastard out of existence. I’ve also helped one or two clients deal with pests that were harassing them online. I take this seriously, Darren. If you ever get into trouble, tell me.”
“I will, and thanks again. Do you think we can have another session soon?”
“Sure. When do you want it?”
“As soon as possible. There’s something I’d love to try if you’re up for it.”
“Tell me what it is, and I’ll let you know.”
Are you curious now? Yeah, I’m sure you are. Unfortunately, that’s all you’re getting for now. You’ll hear more about it tomorrow, I promise.
Good night, everyone, and thank you for continuing to read this journal of mine.

((to be continued))