With no sleep and how sick she was feeling, she wondered if a day in the infirmary would be for the best. She imagined telling the nurse sister of the remedy she had been taking and realized that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. She didn’t want anyone other than Lucille to know about the potion she was taking every night. 

 

She dropped off the red book in her quarters and went to the washroom to wash her face. The powder she used for shadow had run streaks down her cheek. She washed the evidence of her rough night away and tried her best to hide her tired eyes. 

 

When the bells started ringing for first service, every echo bouncing around her skull as she made her way to the chapel to join the other sisters. She sat in the pew furthest from the front and did her best to make herself small.  

 

She scratched at her arms and fidgeted while she waited for Mother Corvina to arrive. She prayed to the Lord while the other sisters mumbled and whispered their morning pleasantries. Each minute felt like an hour. Corvina stepped up to the pulpit and smiled down at the pews of girls.  

 

Every one of the women stared up in silent adoration and Leora was no exception. Even as her ears rang and her eyes strained, Leora looked up at her beautiful Superior. When Corvina’s eyes met Leora’s, Leora felt the pain and suffering wash away. Looking into her eyes felt like bliss. 

 

But Corvina looked away and it all came crashing back at once. Leora nearly started crying. She needed more. 

 

“Good morning, my children. I trust you all got a good night’s rest.” A glance at Leora. Did Corvina know, somehow? 

 

“First Service is usually for a sermon and some scripture but today we shall do something different. Today is the Chapter of Faults.” 

 

There was a sea of concerned whispers among the audience of women. Leora had no idea what the chapter of faults was but judging by the response of the others, she started feeling a little nervous. 

 

Corvina smiled at the displeasure and continued. “It has been quite some time since our last Chapter of Faults. I know that some of you have no idea what to expect. We shall start with the front row and move to the back. That way you should have an idea of what to do when it comes to be your turn, Leora.” 

 

As if punctuating calling Leora out from the crowd, Corvina looked into her eyes. Corvina’s slightly red lips parted in a smile that flashed teeth. It had a sinister note and Leora saw what she thought was an animalistic fang in the grin. Corvina looked away and down to the front row. 

 

“Alicia, you first. Stand and confess your faults proudly so that the Lord may forgive you. Speak confidence and truth, child.” 

 

Alicia - a waifish nun who was younger than Leora - stood up, held her palms together, and bowed her head. She took a deep breath and started speaking. 

 

“Forgive me, Mother Superior. Forgive me, my Lord. I have felt impure emotions not befitting a nun. I have felt jealousy and anger for my fellow sister. I confess my sins and beg your forgiveness.” 

 

Corvina looked down at Alice and smiled. Her eyes seemed to flicker and glow as Alicia breathed heavily. It was clearly a very deep spiritual moment to receive forgiveness for faults committed. Leora could imagine the feeling of relief. 

 

“Thank you, Alicia. You are forgiven. Gemma, it is your turn now.” 

 

Gemma stood, averted her eyes and, bit her lip. Her pale freckled cheeks turned red with shame. 

 

“I - I have not committed any faults, Mother Superior. I have nothing to confess.” 

 

Gemma visibly shrank as Corvina’s eyes grew dark. “There is always something to confess, my child. None of us are free of sin. Speak.” 

 

Gemma pressed her palms together - they were unsteady - and spoke. “Forgive me, for I have sinned. I have… I -.” 

 

Gemma started crying under the pressure. She searched for something to confess. Leora didn’t understand. If Gemma had nothing to confess would she have to make something up? Would Mother Corvina force someone to confess to a sin they did not commit? 

 

The thought of forsaking a sin that she had not performed made Leora salivate. Leora yearned to lie again. 

 

“I confess to failing to keep custody of the eyes. I have let my eyes wander to places they should not and I have seen things that a nun should not see. Please Sister Superior, forgive me.” 

 

Mother Corvina looked satisfied with this response and nodded. “Thank you for your honesty, Gemma. You are forgiven.” 

 

Gemma collapsed back onto the pew. Her tear-stained cheeks were flushed pink.  

 

Each sister had her turn to confess. All of them eventually opened up and gave Mother Corvina a confession and all of them collapsed in a heavily breathing pile when they were forgiven. 

 

As the one at the very back, Leora was the last of the sisters to have their turn to confess. She was nervous. The others clearly felt some kind of relief from confessing but Leora didn’t know what to expect. Her mind was already running at a million miles as she was thinking of what to confess. 

 

“Leora dearest, stand proud and speak. Confess your faults to me.” When Corvina called her name, Leora stood with ease. When she looked into Mother Corvina’s eyes all of her pain vanished. Her superior’s eyes were searing into her mind, their glow burning through her memories and emotions.  

 

They compelled her to confess. She pressed her palms together and stared deeper into Corvina’s searing eyes. 

 

“Forgive me, Mother Superior. I have sinned and I beg for your forgiveness. I have allowed myself to slip of my nightly prayer to the Lord.” 

 

‘Good girl.’ 

 

Leora felt her mind sear in flame. Her eyelids fluttered. It was a heat that overwhelmed her senses. It burned in her brain and trickled down between her legs. It made her knees weak and her heart race. The other sisters couldn’t withstand the sensation but Leora was steadfast. The thrill and pleasure of it scratched the itch she’d been feeling all morning. 

 

Corvina had a smile on her lips as she watched Leora’s reaction. Leora noticed that her Mother Superior was waiting for her to continue. Unlike the other sisters, she didn’t immediately forgive her and move on. She had to confess more. Leora needed more of the heat. 

 

Leora’s voice turned more monotonous and slow, each word lingering on her tongue for just slightly too long. “I have let my thoughts wander to places other than the Lord and my worship. I was awake all night last night after I had a terrible unholy nightmare, and I left my room after lights out.” 

 

 

Each confession granted a new wave of heat and pleasure. Leora’s eyes were wide and her pupils were small. The flame-lit ring in her eyes shook with an unhinged level of excitement and Leora’s mouth was twisted into a grin. There was a blaze in her head and it wanted more fuel. 

 

Leora thought on the lips of her sisters and her adoration for the Abbess. “I confess to having impure thoughts and tainted wishes. I deserve punishment for the sins I have committed. I beg of you, Mistress, punish me like the sinner I am.” 

 

Leora could have sworn she heard Mother Corvina laugh but her perfect red lips hadn’t moved. Leora had degraded herself in front of everyone and, instead of remorse, she felt fulfilled. She felt like a need she didn’t know she had was fulfilled. Leora was happy. 

 

“Thank you, dear Leora. You are forgiven for your sins.”  

 

When Corvina’s eyes left hers, Leora felt the whole world collapse upon her. The searing heat vanished and her thoughts suddenly became clear. The reality of what had happened hit her all at once and she quickly hid her face in shame. She had no idea where those thoughts had come from. 

 

She wondered why she called her superior ‘Mistress.’ It had just slipped out of her mouth along with all the other feverous rambles. It almost felt like someone else had controlled her body. The loss of control frightened her. 

 

Corvina looked around at the group of nuns who were all but asleep in the pews from exertion and relief, from feeling the heat of the Lord’s forgiveness. Leora was the only one still coherent and the poor girl had a concerned look on her face. 

 

Leora looked at the pews around her and noticed that, of all the nuns in the room, she was the only one conscious. The others had either passed out from exertion or collapsed in relief. She assumed that the heat she had felt was the Lord’s light cleansing her of her sins. To gain the Lord’s forgiveness was a blessing that Leora did not take for granted.  

 

Leora turned her gaze to Corvina, and she returned a knowing smile. The anxiety that there was something wrong with her, that she did not react like the others, faded. After a few moments, Corvina addressed the room yet again, stirring the group of women from their soporific states. 

 

“Thank you, my children. I can sense that you are all free of sin and that the Lord has forgiven you. Do your best to not repeat these mistakes. You are free to spend the rest of the day in recreation. Rest well and we will continue our regular worship tomorrow. Gemma, Alicia, please prepare breakfast when you are able.” 

 

“Yes, Mother Corvina,” they both said in unison, albeit weakly. 

 

“Thank you. Leora, meet me in my study. The rest of you are free to go.” 

 

There were quiet whispers among the others. It was clear that Corvina was taking a special interest in Leora. None of the others got called to the study so regularly. Leora feared their jealousy but the damage would have already been done. 

 

 

As long as she had Corvina’s approval, nothing else mattered. 

 

 

.      .      . 

 

 

Leora immediately made her way to Corvina’s study the moment she was free from the service. The pain and shivers had returned shortly after the lasting effects of her confessions had faded, much to Leora’s frustrations. She did her best to hide her suffering as she entered the study and sat down on the window seat to wait for Corvina. 

 

She sat there and looked out into the gardens. She watched the warm breeze pass through the leaves and flowers. It was peaceful, or it would have been if it didn’t feel like Leora’s head was going to explode. Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait too long for Corvina to arrive.  

 

The older woman walked into her study and smiled at Leora sitting at the window. She gestured for Leora to make room on the seat and sat down so they were facing each other. It felt strangely romantic to be sitting in the morning sun with the other woman and Leora’s body immediately felt at peace.  

 

“You look tired, dear one. You should try not to stay up so late in future.” 

 

Leora opened her mouth to protest, but thought on the sleep remedy and hesitated. “Yes, Mother Corvina. I will try, I swear it.” As if to make the promise more genuine, Leora looked into the Abbess’ eyes and gave a weak smile. 

 

Corvina smiled. It made Leora’s belly flutter.  

 

“You left your chamber candle here this morning. I am glad you are comfortable enough with me to use my study when you require it but do not go wandering the halls in the dark without light. You could injure yourself.”  

 

Corvina reached out and touched Leora’s lips with her thumb. It was tentative and slow, as if to test if Leora would flinch away. Instead, Leora leaned in and nestled her cheek in Corvina’s palm. Leora was comforted by Corvina’s touch and in that moment, she felt as if nothing could ever harm her.  

 

“My apologies for leaving my candle here, Sister Superior. I was in a rush to get ready for the morning service and it slipped my mind.” 

 

“No apologies are necessary, Leora. My study is yours to use as you wish.” She paused and looked to the window. “It is strange, you know.” 

 

Leora had a puzzled look on her face. “What is?” 

 

Corvina laughed and turned back to face Leora. “I suppose you cannot read my mind. It is strange that in all my years in service to the Lord, as Abbess of Sacred Night… I have never felt as close with anyone as I do you. You are so young and yet you have a wisdom and a thirst for knowledge well beyond your years. I feel at ease with you.” 

 

Leora’s belly fluttered with a burst of pride, as if a million butterflies were startled by a snake slithering by. Her cheeks flushed and she tried to look away. Corvina held her head in place, keeping their eyes on each other. 

 

“I - I feel the same way. I mean - at ease with you. My heart is always racing around you and my belly is always warm with a glow of happiness. I have never felt like this before… it feels like I have found a missing piece of a puzzle. I am grateful that the Lord brought me to the Abbey.” 

 

Corvina brushed Leora’s lips with her thumb again. It made Leora’s knees weak. The older woman looked down at Leora with half-lidded eyes and held that warm smile. Her eyes sparkled as Leora looked into them. 

 

“For some reason, Leora, you bring out something in me. Feelings long since dormant and I find myself unable to stop thinking about you.” She bit her lower lip and considered something. “I have not done this with anyone, not since taking my vows. You must not tell a soul.” 

 

Leora nodded. She was not sure what the Abbess was referring to but if Corvina trusted her with something, then Leora would not squander it. “I swear it.” 

 

Releasing Leora’s cheek, Corvina removed the white hood of her habit. As she pulled it back, a flood of dark wavy hair was revealed. The hair had the slightest amount of curl and it was shining with a beautiful luster.

 

“Wow…” Leora blinked and suddenly realized what had happened, covering her eyes bashfully. “M-Mother Corvina you cannot! I am not supposed to look on you like this.” 

 

Corvina laughed and, while Leora’s eyes were covered, reached up to remove Leora’s hood. Her dark amber hair spilled free and Leora blushed even brighter. 

 

“Now we are even. It is not breaking a vow or a promise if nobody but us hears of it. I am the Abbess. Who will tattle on us? Open your eyes, Leora, and look upon mine.” 

 

Leora couldn’t resist the command, there was a part of her that wanted it. As much as she protested in the name of the Lord, she wanted to look. She uncovered her eyes and looked into Corvina’s, her cheeks as red as the beetroot they used to stain their lips. 

 

“When we are together like this, just the two of us, we can be free of the hood. A brief respite. Especially in this sweltering heat, hm?” 

 

Leora nodded a sleepy nod. Her eyes glazed over ever so slightly. 

 

“Good girl, Leora.” 

 

Leora felt that searing heat between her legs at the praise. This time, the praise was real. That one wasn’t in her head. 

 

“I - Thank you, Mother Corvina.” 

 

Corvina turned to look at the shelves of books and Leora snapped out of her reverie. 

 

“I see the journal you borrowed is back on my shelf. Did you gain any knowledge or insight? So many of these tomes offer little and I do not remember which are worth reading…” 

 

Leora cleared her throat and shook her head clear of the fog. “Oh. Yes. The journal did not offer much. It was written by someone who signed simply as ‘A’ about a hundred years ago. I believe she was a former Abbess. Do you remember the Abbess prior to you?” 

 

Corvina closed her eyes in thought. Her index finger idly tapping her lips. Leora watched it move back and forth rhythmically. “Hm. The Abbess before I was named Mother Matilda. Her middle name was Francesca. She was a kindly old woman. Could it be that the ‘A’ simply stands for ‘Abbess?’” 

 

Leora pondered for a moment and shrugged. “I suppose so. It feels too obvious, in a way. There is so much I have yet to learn and -” 

 

“You are perhaps searching for mystery where there is none. I admire your imagination, dearest but, sometimes the simplest answer is the most likely. Why does this Abbess interest you?” 

 

“Well, she took over the Abbey from her former Abbess and enacted the ritual of First Vows as we know it today. It was a drastic change in the Abbey and as such, I was wondering who it might have been. She also drew some remarkable sketches.” 

 

“What were the sketches of?” 

 

“Well, there was one of a candle. The sketch was titled ‘Soul.’ Another was right at the end. It was of a woman’s arm. It ended in long nails almost like claws and there was a snake wrapped around the arm and nestled in her palm. It was hauntingly beautiful.” 

 

Corvina thought for another second before responding. “That does sound familiar, I recall it now. A curious mystery you have found, little Leora. Just be wary of the old adage. Curiosity killed the cat and I would hate for you to be the cat.”  

 

They both giggled. To the two women, the shared laughter was a sign of comfort around the other. They both felt a peace that was rare for holy women. There was connection between sisters, sure, but not like this. This felt deeper. Deeper even than their connection with the Lord. 

 

“Well, have you got any other leads to follow?” 

 

Leora remembered the red leatherback tome that fell off the shelf this morning and nodded. “Yes! A red book jumped out at me this morning when I was in the study. I shall give it a read, maybe there is a reason it made itself known.”  

 

Corvina gave a nod. “I expect to hear about it when you do. I am rather enjoying hearing of your quest’s progress.” 

 

They exchanged smiles and sat in silence for a moment. Neither felt obligated to speak and both felt a comfort in each others’ quiet company. Eventually, they were disturbed by the bells ringing for breakfast. Leora’s heart panged in disappointment as she knew that it meant they were to part. 

 

“You must be starving, child. Lord knows I am.” Corvina giggled again. “Run along to breakfast and eat your fill. Would you like to meet me here every day after first service? I rather enjoyed myself this morning.” 

 

Leora beamed enthusiastically. “Yes! Please! I would love that.” 

 

“Then it shall be. I shall see you tomorrow, Leora. Enjoy your day off to the fullest.” 

 

The two women embraced each other, Corvina rested her hand on the back of Leora’s head and pulled it closer to her chest. Leora smelled the perfume Corvina wore and blushed.  

 

Leora stepped away and pulled her hood back up, making sure to tuck her loose hairs underneath. She grabbed her chamber candle, waved goodbye to her Abbess and quickly dashed over to breakfast. 

 

 

.      .      . 

 

 

When Leora arrived at the refectory the other sisters were already eating. They all looked at her with eyes filled with venom. She grabbed her plate of food and sat down near them. She waved at them silently and they all turned away from her in response.  

 

Leora’s heart sank. They were jealous. Jealousy was not an emotion a nun should have. It’s an emotion that bites and poisons and gets in the way of worship. However, should not was not the same as cannot. The women were not perfect and their eyes were green with envy. Leora understood why they were envious. She was quickly becoming Mother Corvina’s favorite… and she was also the newest member of the Abbey. 

 

Leora recalled Corvina’s soft black hair and quickly forgot the others’ envy. She ate in silence and got lost in the memory of her Abbess’ touch. 

 

 

 

.      .      . 

 

 

After breakfast, she returned to her quarters to retrieve the red tome. She decided to read in a shady part of the gardens under an apple tree. The apples were nearing the midpoint of maturity. Still small and sour. They would likely be ready for picking within the next few weeks. 

 

An apple tree in the Abbey reminded the sisters of Adam and Eve whenever it was in bloom and bore fruit. It was a peaceful reminder of the Lord forgiving the first great sin. They could enjoy the fruit now thanks to the sacrifice suffered by the Lord’s only son. When it came time to harvest, the sisters would pray by the trees and enjoy the fruit, free of sin. 

 

For now, the leaves provided Leora a nice protection from the sun. She laid a blanket down on the grass so her habit wouldn’t get damp and sat on the ground. As she observed her surroundings she took in a deep breath. A rich smell of nature filled her nostrils. Birds, ravens mainly, sat in the tree and chirped between themselves. 

 

Leora cherished the moment. She held the red book in her hands and inspected the leather cover. It was bare save for a slight embossed design of a full moon. She opened the cover and found a hastily scrawled note on the first page. 

 

 

Leora was disappointed. She had hoped that the journal was written by ‘A.’ Still, it was a very intimidating passage. She paused and considered closing the book. The warning was clear; turn back now. She was curious about how the tome could possibly contain anything that would harm her relationship with the Lord and the threat did scare her. 

 

She had to know more. Her thirst for knowledge was burning inside her and she had to know. She needed to uncover who ‘A’ was, why she enacted the change she did, and what it meant for the Sisters of Sacred Night. 

 

She turned the page and left the warning in her memories. 

 

 

It was an innocuous entry save for the mention of ‘Sacred Light’ instead of ‘Sacred Night.’ A name change in the history of the Abbey, perhaps? The name could have been changed by ‘A’ when she became the Abbess. 

 

She wondered if the threat was a prank to keep people from reading Rosa’s private journal. Rosa was definitely similar to Leora in her pursuit of knowledge, it seemed, and that was reason enough for Leora to continue reading. She turned the page but before she could continue, Leora was interrupted by a voice. 

 

“Leora? May I join you?”  

 

Leora looked up from the book and saw Lucille standing above her. Leora smiled, shut the tome and nodded. She pat the spot beside her on the blanket and Lucille sat down. 

 

“How are you, Lucille? I’ve missed spending time with you like this.” 

 

Lucille’s face showed little emotion. Lucille was usually bubbly and personable but this was unlike her. 

 

“I am… I am alright, Leora. Thank you for asking.” 

 

Leora’s face showed concern. The other girl was clearly not alright and had something on her mind. “Is something troubling you, sister? You know you can always trust me.” 

 

Lucille’s eyes darted around nervously. “I have just been a little confused since this morning’s service. It was not my first Chapter of Faults… Each time I confess, I collapse and pass out due to the sensations. They usually leave me feeling like this all day after I wake.” 

 

“Feeling like what? Tell me, Lucille.”  

 

Lucille coughed nervously and clenched her hands together, her cheeks turned bright red. “Feeling… warm. You know. All over.” 

 

Leora giggled at the puritanical way of describing being aroused. It was quite normal for a nun to use language like that, she supposed, and not many read the kinds of books she did. Leora had also felt the sensation in the chapel earlier in the day. 

 

“Leora! Stop laughing at me! Goodness I am so ashamed.” 

 

Leora put a hand on Lucille’s leg and smiled at her. “Okay, okay. I will not laugh anymore.” Lucille glared at her in response. “I swear, Lucille! No more laughing.” 

 

Lucille sighed. “I just - It feels so impure to feel like this. I would never question Mother Corvina but I wonder if there is something wrong with me. You read a lot, Leora. Be honest with me; am I possessed by the Devil?” 

 

Leora thought for a moment and then shook her head. “I have read of the sensation you described before. It was in a journal written by a nun from the western part of the country. She spoke of the sensation as one that felt sinfully pleasurable and started doing research on it. Men mistook the description as one of sin, often times thinking it linked to possession by the devil.” 

 

She looked Lucille in the eyes to comfort her. “This sister discovered that it was not related to possession at all. It is a simple fact of the female body. Like our monthly cycles, there are times when we feel warmth. Ordinarily, it would indicate a time to mate but for us nuns that is not an option.” 

 

“Due to chastity,” Lucille interjected. The concern had started fading from her face. 

 

Leora nodded. “Correct, due to chastity. It is not a broken vow to simply have those feelings as they are a part of our physiology. God made us with this in place and it is not sinful to feel something He created. Instead, how you choose to act on it is the key.” 

 

Lucille’s relief was visible. Her shoulders loosened and her eyebrows uncreased. She had clearly been fretting about this all morning. 

 

“Thank you, Leora. I feel so relieved. I knew it was right to come to you with this. You are so knowledgeable. It is no wonder that the Abbess has chosen you as her favorite.” 

 

Leora took a second to process what Lucille had said. She was the Abbess’ favorite? Yes, she was selected to succeed her but that decision was purely based on her merits as a nun. She hadn’t considered that Corvina just liked her. 

 

“Am I really her favorite?” 

 

Lucille rolled her eyes. “Of course you are, Leora. Why else would she treat you the way she does? She is always smiling at you. She does not spend as much time with any of the others and you are the newest of us. It is clear you are getting special treatment.” 

 

Leora immediately grew concerned and suddenly feared that Lucille resented her for the way Corvina treated her. 

 

“Do not worry. I, unlike the others, am not allowing envy to enter my mind.”  

 

Leora exhaled a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I was so afraid I’d lost you.” 

 

Lucille smiled and shook her head. “Not at all! I will be at your side like our habits were sewn together. Till you are sick of me! Sisters and friends forever.”  

 

They both giggled. Leora felt comforted by the fact that she had Lucille on her side. 

 

“Did you try talking to the others like you mentioned before? After breakfast this morning I feel quite alienated…”  

 

“I did. They did not listen to me. Blinded by envy they are. It is why the Lord frowns upon the emotion as much as He does.” 

 

Leora nodded and sighed. 

 

“Do not fret though. You have me! I am all the sister you need! And with the Sister Superior watching over you, I doubt they would ever act on their envy. They will get used to it eventually.”  

 

Lucille stuck her tongue out playfully in an attempt to lift Leora’s spirits and she giggled in response. The conversation definitely had. 

 

“Thank you, Lucille. I truly do not know what I would do without you. You are always there for me, even when I make mistakes.”   

 

Leora leaned against the other woman and Lucille pulled her closer. Her head laid upon Lucille’s chest and she could hear Lucille’s heartbeat. 

 

“Leora, you know just as well as I, the Lord teaches us kindness and understanding of our fellow human. I would hardly be a good nun if I was not there for my sister.” 

 

Leora nodded against Lucille’s chest and smiled. It was true. The others were sinners for allowing the darkness of envy in their hearts and allowing it to cloud their care for others. The two women sat together and listened to the birds in the trees. 

 

“Luci?” 

 

“Mm? What is it, Leora?” 

 

“Swear that we will always be there for one another. Sisters together, forever.” 

 

Lucille smiled and gave a nod. “I swear it. Upon the name of our Lord and Abbess Corvina.  We shall always be together.” 

 

Leora beamed. The two had forged a bond and Leora felt comfort knowing that Lucille would always be there. For however many years the two would be together at Sacred Night. 

 

 

.     .    . 

 

 

 

The quiet and restful day off for the sisters of Sacred Night was drawing to a close. The sun was setting over the Abbey and each woman was in her quarters. Some spent the last few moments preparing their habits for the next day, others were making their beds.  

 

Leora, on the other hand, was engrossed in Rosa’s tome. The first few entries she read were of Rosa’s devotion to the Lord and the Abbey. She was studious and spoke of how she spent her free time reading. Rosa seemed like a lonely girl. The other sisters didn’t seem to like her and, according to her journal entries it was clearly upsetting her. 

 

That was until a new sister joined the Abbey. She was described as tall and hauntingly beautiful. Rosa wrote paragraph after prose about her infatuation with this woman and Leora thought it atypical for Rosa to describe another woman that way. Rosa seemed so straight-laced in the first few entries. 

 

Leora tried to picture what the new sister looked like based on Rosa’s descriptions, but her mind kept on drifting back to Corvina’s beauty. If she was even half as beautiful as Corvina, then Leora could understand Rosa’s adoration. 

 

The new sister’s name was Adria. Rosa wrote the name on the page accentuated with tiny doodles of flowers.

 

Rosa was in love.

 

Sinful as it was to have those thoughts as a nun, she couldn’t help herself around Adria. Rosa described looking into Adria’s eyes and how it felt like she lost a part of herself when she had to look away.  

 

The romance was very cute to Leora and she felt like she could understand how Rosa felt. Leora had also fallen in love with a woman before. It was exciting. Whenever her love had laughed or smiled Leora’s head felt light and airy. It was a yearning deep in her gut when they were apart.  

 

Leora tried to recall the girl she loved, searching for an image of her face but saw only flame. A photograph with the face obscured by soot. It was a memory that felt incomplete and she had no way finding the pieces. It made her head hurt.  

 

Reminded of her headaches, she turned to her side table where her cup of tea and the vial of the sleeping remedy sat. She bit her lip as she thought of taking the remedy again.

 

She could take an extra drop to make sure she slept well. It would make her world spin, that addictive feeling of drowsy helplessness right before sleep claimed her. 

 

Maybe it would bring back the chime she missed waking to. 

 

 

She slapped her cheeks and looked away. She had to fight it. She needed to prove that she could stop taking it. She needed to prove it to herself.

 

She shut the journal and blew her candle out, burying herself under the covers. Falling asleep without the drug was not going to be easy, but Leora had to try.  

 

She tossed and turned and eventually, her exhaustion claimed her. She had managed to fall asleep but in the darkness of her room, the shadows reached out toward her.

Without the remedy to protect her, the nightmares returned. The snakes that snared her body snared her dreams.

 

Tears ran down her cheeks as her sleeping mind was tortured by the dark.