Even days after her first night with Natalie, Mia felt like she was walking on sunshine. She bounced instead of walked and found herself humming at odd moments between classes. She doodled Natalie’s name all over the margins of her lecture notes with hearts everywhere. Mia knew it was a bit juvenile, but she didn’t care. She liked it. She liked being the girl who had someone waiting for her after practice, who could feel her phone buzz with a new message and know, before reading it, exactly who it was from. For the first time since coming to Ridgeview, she felt like she belonged to something. To someone.

 

The happiness she felt at being with Natalie bubbled up inside her until she couldn’t keep it in; she had to tell someone. Leah seemed to be spending more time outside their room these days, but Mia caught her at lunch in the cafeteria, sitting alone. Mia excitedly carried her tray over and set it down with a clatter.

 

Leah looked up at the noise. “Hey Mia,” she said flatly.

 

Mia squirmed in her seat, overwhelmed by the urge to blurt out everything at once. “Hi Leah! Guess what? Natalie and I are kind of official,” she said, testing how the words actually sounded in real life.

 

Leah didn’t respond. She turned back to her food, poking at her pasta with her fork.

 

“We hung out at her place,” Mia went on, lowering her voice even though nobody was listening. “Just the two of us. It was… amazing.”

 

Leah made a noncommittal noise. “Cool. That’s cool for you.”

 

Mia pushed ahead. “I think she really likes me.”

 

“That’s great.” Leah said, taking a bite.

 

“…Is… everything okay? You seem upset,” Mia asked, finally noticing Leah’s demeanor.

 

Leah gave a stiff shrug. “I’m fine.” She finally met Mia’s eyes again. “I just barely see you these days, Mia. What is going on?”

 

“I’m telling you what’s going on; I have a girlfriend now!” Mia beamed at her roommate.

 

“Oh really? She told you that?”

 

Mia’s smile faltered for a moment. “Well not exactly, but Natalie’s not really one for labels. She texts me all the time though, and she has a pet name for me, and, well,” Mia leaned in with a conspiratorial whisper. “I went down on her for like an hour the other night. I almost passed out!”

 

Leah raised her eyebrows at Mia’s explicit confession. “She sounds like a generous lover,” she quipped.

 

“She’ll have plenty of opportunities to take care of me!” Mia retorted. ”I just wanted you to know that it’s not just a stupid crush anymore.”

 

Leah nodded. “Good for you. Really. I just hope she’s not, like, using you.”

 

Mia bristled. “She’s not! How many times do I need to tell you?”

 

Leah abruptly stood up. “Alright then. I’ve gotta get to class.” She grabbed her tray and walked off. Left alone at the table, Mia was suddenly annoyed. Why couldn’t Leah just be happy for her? She’d finally found someone who made her feel alive, and all Leah wanted to do was poke holes in it. Maybe she was just jealous.

 

 

---

 

 

If Leah was going to be a stick in the mud, Mia decided that she would spend some more time with Natalie. She had seen the captain talking to the director of the Ridgeview football team, Coach Harlan, at the end of practice. Mia had overheard the coach mention that he needed to plan the performance for the next game after lunch, so she made up her mind to surprise Natalie after the meeting. It would be so nice to see Natalie’s face after dealing with Leah.

 

The offices of the athletic administration were in a building adjacent to the gym, and Mia headed in that direction. She went the long way around the athletic center, cutting across the quad, then up the back stairs to the second floor where the coaches’ offices lined a long corridor. Nobody was around; most of the administration was home for the weekend, leaving the building almost completely quiet. Mia walked down the hall with only the squeaks of her sneakers accompanying her.

 

She found the door with Coach Harlan’s name written on it and came to a stop. Wondering if the meeting was ongoing, she put her ear to the door and heard Harlan’s voice, deep but muffled. She couldn’t hear Natalie, however, even after waiting for a minute. Maybe she had already left?

 

Mia knocked; maybe Harlan would know where Natalie had gone. There was a long pause, then a gruff “Come in.”

 

Mia opened the door. There was only Harlan was at his desk, a huge man but slightly overweight, who seemed like he preferred to be on the football field than indoors. There was a strained expression on his face, and Mia thought he almost seemed ill. Natalie was nowhere to be found.

 

“Hi Mr. Harlan!” Mia said as she entered. “I’m Mia, on the cheer team. I was looking for Natalie; have you seen her?”

 

The coach didn’t get up. Instead, he gave her an odd expression that ended in a smile. “Ah yes, Natalie has told me all about you. In fact, she’s finishing up something for me right now. Do you want to see?”

 

“Sure, thank you!” Mia responded.

 

Harlan gestured for Mia to come closer, next to the desk where he was sitting. Mia stepped forward, slightly confused as to why the coach wanted her to move. As she rounded the corner of the desk, Harlan glanced down.

 

“Natalie, your girlfriend came to see you. How nice of her!”

 

Mia followed the coach’s gaze, and then froze in shock.

 

Natalie was under the desk, on her knees. Her ponytail was gripped tight in Harlan’s fist, while his thick cock, swollen and half-erect, lay across her face. The whole thing had spit and Natalie’s red lipstick smeared along its length, and Natalie’s mouth was buried in Coach Harlan’s crotch, slurping at the huge sweaty balls. It took Mia several seconds to process what she was seeing. While she tried to find the words to speak, Natalie pulled herself off of Harlan’s sack with a sucking noise and smiled lazily at the two people above her.

 

“Hey Mia, what’s up?”

 

This couldn’t be happening. Mia tried to find the words. “What— What are you… What’s…”

 

Natalie snorted like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What, did you think we were exclusive? I’m not a lesbian like you, Mia.” The words were like punches to Mia’s gut. “You can’t satisfy all my needs, you know? Like my need to suck a thick cock and bury my face in sweaty balls.” She ran her hands down Harlan’s shaft for emphasis, spreading her own saliva around the hardening flesh.

“But you… You said I was yours,” Mia whispered.

 

Natalie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and you are. But I’m not yours, Mouse. I’m not anybody’s.”

 

Turning back to Harlan, she slowly ran her tongue up the underside of his cock, dragging the flat of her tongue over the ridges and veins. Mia stared, horrified, as Natalie took the thick shaft in both hands and fed it into her mouth, lips barely able to fit around its girth. She pressed forwards as the whole thing disappeared, inch by inch, until her nose was mashed into the coach’s hairy belly.

 

“Ohhh fuck,” Harlan groaned.

 

Natalie gagged and then started moving. After only a few bobs of her head, she abruptly pulled back, letting the cock out of her mouth with a wet pop. The coach’s hand tightened in her hair, the tendons in his forearm straining, and then he jerked forward in the chair. Mia’s flinched, but she was unable to avert her gaze as a thick rope of cum arced from the swollen head, splattering across Natalie’s cheek and nose. Another spurt followed, the glob smearing into her mascara, and she just held there, tongue out, as the rest of it dripped onto her lips and chin. Natalie didn’t even flinch at the mess. She winked at Mia, and then used her fingers to scoop some of the cum off of her face, sucking the slime from her fingers like she was tasting icing from a spoon.

 

Mia’s vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. She let out a choked sob as the world collapsed around her, then turned and ran out of the room.

 

 

---

 

 

She made it back to her room with an automatic numbness, lost in Natalie’s betrayal and her destroyed emotions. Slamming the door behind her, she stumbled toward the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before vomiting into the bowl.

 

Stomach empty, Mia slumped over on the bathroom floor, gasping and sobbing in ugly, wet little bursts. Her mind kept looping the scene, over and over: Natalie’s face smeared with cum, the way her throat flexed as she slobbered on Harlan’s fat cock. She wanted to cut it out of her brain and erase the memory, but every time she closed her eyes, it was only more vivid.

 

She pressed her forehead into her knees, squeezing her eyes shut. Natalie had never touched her like that. Not once. Even on the night that Mia had worshiped her perfect pussy so devotedly, the cheer captain had offered nothing in return. She’d never gone down on Mia; not even a single lick to pretend she cared. But with Harlan, she was on her knees for him, gagging and slurping and getting her face painted. Why him? Why not her? Why couldn’t Natalie have wanted Mia that much, or needed her that way?

 

With weak legs, Mia staggered to the sink, rinsed her mouth, and stared at her reflection. Her hair was stuck to her cheeks, makeup streaked down her face. She hated Natalie for what she had done. But as her tears slowed, Mia realized that the feeling wasn’t really hate.

 

It was jealousy.

 

The image of her girlfriend on her knees for Harlan disgusted Mia, but the thought of someone as perfect as Natalie debasing herself for a man’s cock made her almost dizzy. It was sick. It was humiliating.

 

It made Mia’s pussy clench with hot arousal.

 

She tried not to picture Natalie lapping at Harlan’s cock, those red lips stretched wide around something Mia could never give. A pink, wet tongue licking balls that Mia couldn’t replace. Natalie was right. How could Mia ever fulfill those needs? How could she ever be good enough for Natalie?

 

“Stop,” she whispered to herself. “Stop it. Stop thinking about it.”

 

But she couldn’t. Before she could stop herself, she found her fingers slipping under her waistband. She ground her palm into the wetness there, hating herself, but not enough to stop. Her fingers worked fast and mean, the way Natalie liked to use her. She was wetter than she had ever been before, and she could feel the slickness coating her fingers. Her thumb found her clit and circled it roughly, and she bit her lip to stifle the moan that threatened to escape. She imagined it was Natalie’s thumb, Natalie’s mouth, Natalie’s smug voice telling her what a good girl she was for getting off to this.

 

Her hips bucked against her own hand, the rhythm desperate and graceless. She didn’t want this; she wanted to be angry. To be hurt. To be anything but this pathetic creature, masturbating on her knees to the memory of the person she loved cheating on her.

 

Then all at once she was cumming, the orgasm a violent, convulsive wave that crashed into her, leaving her gasping and shuddering against the cold tile floor. Her own choked cry echoed in the small space as her body seized, hips bucking against her slick palm. For a moment, the shame was obliterated by pure, animal sensation, a brutal release that felt less like pleasure and more like oblivion. The feeling was unlike anything Mia had experienced before.

 

Then, as quickly as it had crested, it was over. The aftershocks left her trembling, and the shame began to seep back into the space the climax had occupied. She pulled her hand away, her fingers dripping with her own pathetic need, and stared with a fresh wave of revulsion.

 

“What’s wrong with me?” she whispered to the perverted girl in the mirror. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

 

 

---

 

 

The next few days were miserable. Mia skipped cheer practice and classes, hiding herself from the world that had chewed her up and spit her out. Without the courage to block Natalie’s number, unread texts began to accumulate on her phone. Mia barely ate or slept, spending most of her time in bed wrapped in a cocoon of blankets.

 

At first Leah mostly left Mia alone. Then the next day, she came back to the room after class and saw Mia still in bed, with empty water bottles and candy bar wrappers strewn around the sheets like a sad nest. With a concerned expression, she walked over to the bed and poked the lump of blankets a few times.

 

“Hey Mia, are you okay?” she asked. “I know we haven’t been talking much, but… I’m here if you want to tell me what happened.”

 

Mia stayed silent, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would cry again. Leah’s hand came to rest on the blanket, the warmth of it seeping through the fabric to Mia’s shoulder. “Mia,” she said again. “Come on. I know something’s wrong. You can talk to me.”

 

The gentleness in her tone was too much for Mia. A sob tore from her throat, muffled by the duvet. She clutched the fabric tighter, hiding from the pity she was sure was on Leah’s face.

 

The mattress dipped as Leah sat on the edge of the bed. “Hey,” she murmured, patting Mia’s back. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

 

Mia felt Leah’s weight shift, and then the blanket was being gently tugged away from her face. A moment later, Leah had her in a tight hug. They sat together for a minute, and when she finally calmed down, Mia wiped the tears from her red eyes with the back of her hand and looked up at her friend.

 

“It’s Natalie. I saw her with someone else,” she said in a choked voice.

 

Leah’s expression didn’t change. She didn’t roll her eyes or say ‘I told you so’. Instead, she simply said, “I’m sorry. That must have been really hard to see.”

 

“It was Coach Harlan,” Mia whispered. “In his office. She was… she was on her knees.”

 

That one caught Leah off guard. “Holy shit. Are you serious? He must be at least twice her age!”

 

Mia nodded, feeling a bit sick again. “She’s been seeing him for a while, I think. She— she was really into it.” Her voice hitched. “And she wasn’t even sorry. I think she actually wanted me to watch.”

 

Mia tried to ignore the growing wetness between her legs as she recounted the experience.

 

“That’s so fucked, Mia. I’m so sorry that happened.” Leah tried to change the subject to something more positive. “But forget that bitch; it’s over now. Let’s go get some sushi and boba. You need some girl time!”

 

The two girls spent the rest of the day together. Leah seemed so happy to have her friend back, and Mia really tried to enjoy it. She laughed at Leah’s impressions of their professors, nodded along to her animated stories of her psych class debates, and even finished the sweet milk tea Leah bought her. But at the edge of her mind, Natalie continued to haunt her thoughts.

 

Every time her phone buzzed from a text, Mia’s heart would leap out of habit. Then it would crash as she remembered what Natalie had done, and then her cheeks would burn and her thighs would squeeze together with a queasy arousal. After the third text, Mia couldn’t resist glancing at her phone.

 

Leah caught it immediately. “Is that Natalie? You blocked her, right?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Mia lied impulsively. “It’s just some spam text.”

 

That seemed to satisfy Leah, but Mia couldn’t help herself. A minute after putting her phone away, she stood up from their table. “Uh, I’ve gotta use the restroom. Be right back.”

 

Mia found the bathroom in the back of the sushi restaurant they were visiting and locked the door. Her phone felt heavy in her hand as she leaned against the sink. Leah was right. She should have blocked Natalie days ago; should have deleted the number and erased every trace. But her thumb swiped, unlocked the screen, and opened the new messages from Natalie.

The first was from the day she’d run from the office.

 

 

Another, sent late that night: u left me hanging. not cool.

 

Her stomach tightened with anxiety. She scrolled further.

 

 

A cold dread washed through her as she read the next message.

 

 

Then she scrolled down, and an image filled the screen. It was a picture of a pussy, shaved bare and flushed pink, spread wide by two fingers with blue nail polish. From the entrance, a thick glob of white cum was spilling out, a viscous pearl clinging to the folds. Mia couldn’t look away. She zoomed the image unconsciously, revolted and aroused all at once. She could almost smell the musky scent through the screen, the ghost of Harlan’s sweat and Natalie’s perfume mingling in her memory. Her thumb trembled as she scrolled to the text right after the image.

 

Mia couldn’t breathe. Her knees nearly buckled as she stared at the vulgar, glistening mess she was being ordered to tend to. The cold porcelain of the sink bit into her lower back, a grounding pressure against the dizzying heat that flooded her core. Her thumb swiped to the image again, and her gaze snagged on dripping cum, the undeniable proof of where Natalie had been, and what she had done.

 

Almost unconsciously, Mia’s fingers crept beneath the waistband of her shorts. Before she could stop it, her hand was inside her shorts, then inside her underwear, then inside her. She was two knuckles deep before she realized what she was doing. Then all at once, her brain caught up to her instincts, and she whipped her hand back out and stared at her fingers in horror.

 

Slick, gooey strings connected them, damning evidence of her perversion. A tremor ran through her hand, making the strand quiver. This was Harlan’s doing. This was Natalie’s. This was the image of that glistening, ruined pussy on her screen, the command to clean it up, that had her body leaking and clenching like an animal in heat.

 

She should be screaming. She should be smashing her phone against the tile, shredding the photo from existence. Instead, she brought her fingers to her lips. The taste was sharp, salty-sweet, entirely her own. But as her tongue swept over her slick skin, she closed her eyes and it was Natalie she tasted. It was Harlan’s seed, thick and bitter, mixed with the intimate flavor of Natalie’s arousal. She was cleaning her, worshiping the mess he’d made, proving that she could be a good girl.

 

A low, broken sound escaped her throat, a sob and a moan tangled together. The humiliation was a live wire under her skin, sparking and sizzling, and her other hand was back between her legs, rubbing frantic, desperate circles. She wasn’t thinking anymore, just feeling, just obeying the vision of Natalie, spent and used, waiting for her.

 

Her fingers moved faster, frantic in their tiny, trembling circles. Her skin was so slick she could barely keep her grip; every time she pressed down, it was like her clit was a live wire, buzzing her whole pelvis with a shameful, needy current. She barely recognized her own touch, the desperate clawings of a girl not in control of herself, but in that moment, Mia was nothing but nerves and want. She was getting closer and closer to tipping into the abyss of an orgasm. She was almost there. Then there was a sharp knock on the door.

 

“Mia, you okay in there?” Leah’s voice, right outside the door, was a slap of cold water. Mia jerked her hand out of her shorts, heart pounding and breath stuck in her throat. She almost cried with frustration at her pleasure being so violently cut off, but instead, she replied in a shaky voice, “Yes— Sorry, I’ll be out in a second!”

 

---

 

 

When they got back to the dorm at the end of the day, Leah threw her keys into the bowl by the door and hopped onto her bed. “Did you have fun today?” she asked. Mia nodded, trying to sound normal, and sat across the room in the beanbag chair, where she could curl up tight and hide her face behind her knees.

 

She kept her gaze on a spot on the wall, body still buzzing from the restaurant. Leah was scrolling through her phone, humming quietly to herself. Mia sat perfectly still, resisting the urge to squirm. The ache between her legs hadn’t died down, and she was getting increasingly more irritable. If Leah would just fucking leave for a minute, Mia could finish what she had started. She desperately needed to strip down, pull up that picture again, and plunge her fingers back into her neglected pussy.

After what felt like forever, Leah set her phone aside and turned to Mia again. “So,” she said, “I was thinking tomorrow morning, we could go over some assignments together before class.”

 

Mia shook her head, still distracted. “Can’t. I have cheer practice.”

 

 

“I can’t just quit,” Mia said, her voice small. “It’s not that simple.”

 

“What do you mean it’s not simple? You joined up for Natalie, and now there’s no reason to go anymore.”

 

Mia’s heart hammered, cheeks hot with guilt and panic. She scrambled for some kind of excuse that would be plausible. Under her skin, her craving for Natalie was a persistent, bitter ache, and the thought of never seeing her again felt like a punch to the gut.

 

“I just have to go back,” Mia answered. “I can’t quit. Not yet.”

 

Leah stared at her like she was insane. “Why, Mia? She humiliated you. She’s not going to stop. You know that, don’t you?”

 

The words cut, but Mia swallowed them. “I know, I just… don’t want to let the team down.”

 

Leah shook her head, disbelief etched across her face. “Bullshit. This isn’t about the team,” she said, “this is about you wanting to go back to her. You’re addicted to her, even though she treats you like garbage.”

 

“I’m not addicted,” Mia protested, but the word echoed in her mind. Addicted. Was that what this was? This constant craving, this desperate need to see Natalie even though it hurt so much?

 

“You’re unbelievable,” Leah said. “I thought—” She shook her head, biting back words, and then looked at Mia with a kind of pleading disgust. “I thought we were going to be friends again. I thought you were done being her fucking toy. But you’re just going to crawl back for more, aren’t you?”

 

Mia wanted to scream at Leah for seeing through her so easily. Instead, she stood up from the chair and snapped, “Why do you even care, Leah? You act like you’re my mom or something. I’m not a child; I can make my own decisions.”

 

Leah’s jaw clenched. “You’re right, Mia.” She turned away, breaking eye contact. “I don’t care anymore. Go get your heart broken again. See if I give a shit.”

 

The words hurt more than Mia expected. “God, why are you so obsessed with who I see? Is it because you’re jealous? You can’t stand to see me with someone when you’re still alone?”

 

“Get out.” Leah’s voice was chilling.

 

The words hung in the air for a second before Mia’s hurt turned to anger. “Fine. You want to be a bitch? You can be one all by yourself.” Her voice cracked. She grabbed her phone, keys, and a crumpled sweatshirt and left the room, slamming the door just loud enough to prove she could.

 

Mia was so angry she could barely see. She had no destination, just the need to be somewhere else. As she walked out of the freshmen dorm, Mia realized it was after midnight, and the cold air bit at her legs. After a few minutes of walking, her anger at Leah had mostly cooled down, but she couldn’t go back and face her friend, not after what she had said. So she kept walking, but as she cut across the quad, she realized with a sick certainty where her feet were taking her.

 

She entered the senior dorm trying to convince herself that this was the wrong decision. But in the moment, she felt that there was a sort of inevitability about what was happening. As if she was always going to do this. Like Natalie was a black hole that inexorably pulled her in.

 

Mia walked up a staircase and found herself in front of Natalie’s door. She watched her hand raise up, and then knock. The sound echoed in the hallway for a moment before the door swung inward.

 

“You’ve been a very bad girl, Mouse,” Natalie said with a smile.