So how does it feel to sit in your new car?

It's cute, but ... I miss my old car, it was bigger, and much more powerful that this ....

But you crashed that car, if you want a car like that again you have to convince people you are a good enough driver for it

Wait .... it's an automatic?

Yes?

There is no gearstick or clutch, are there manual electronic gears?

No, no manual electronic gears, it's an automatic. do you remember how you did your new test in a rented automatic?

Yes

And you found that weird at the time?

Yes, but you said I couldn't ask about it

Well, see now your new license is specifically for automatics only, you can no longer drive stick

But the crash wasn't even my fault! You know that! You know I am a good driver, I've never caused any damage to any car ever!

Too bad. We both agreed that the old you, the strong, competent and capable you, had to go. That we needed a new you, one that emanated an aura of weak, ditsy helplessness. Did we not?

[small voice] ... um ... yes ... but ... I love driving ...

I know, but you've also found so much other things you love over the last few years, haven't you?

That's true

You are swapping some things you used to love for other new things you love. Just be glad I didn't convince the judge to ban you permanently

Oh my god, would you have?

Just imagine the loss of independence, needing other people to drive you around, always having to be extra nice to your friends because you would need them more than they need you, letting them decide where to go, and just being grateful that they are willing to take you, sitting around at home waiting for me to get back because you need me to take you somewhere ...

[eyes closed] ... oh god ... stop ... [eyes open] I'll be good! I love that it is an automatic!

Really?

Yes REEEAAAALLLY! Besides for the last year these heels made working with ALL THOSE ANNOYING PEDALS so difficult.

Great that you don't take them off for driving like I forbade. You are such a good girl

Thank you. .... um ....

Yes?

But, this means ... um ...

Yes?

I'm flying to visit my parents next week. Whenever I go back, I use their car, I borrow it if I need to, and I usually need to a lot ... but they have manual ... so ...

So you won't be doing that anymore, you'll have to ask them to drive you around if you need it. Wonderful, maybe you'll discover you like being driven around, maybe the feeling of sheepishly asking them for a lift will grow on you, feeling like you are less, maybe you will come back and beg me to have your license cancelled ...

No!

Ok, just joking, what were you saying

But what will I tell them, they know I drive manual?

Tell them you always hated stick, you found it confusing and stressful

But I know how to drive stick, its easy?

Well you certainly won't be telling anybody that anymore, make sure to tell them you're happier knowing you don't have to worry about manual gear shifting anymore

But my father thought me how to drive, he knows I love stick!

"Dick" sugarbutt, you love dick

Hee hee, I love dick, I do!

Besides, your parents are probably going to have a LOT more difficult questions for you about getting another boob job without telling them, even though they made you PROMISE you would never do major cosmetic surgery again without at the very least telling them

[downcast, small voice] ... ... oh yeah ... ... [even smaller voice] but you didn't let me tell them ...

Now, now dollface, we both know I can't make you do anything unless there is a part of you that wants it, right?

[small voice] ... yes ...

I didn't hear that?

yes ... [small voice] ... i know ...

Say the line

um ... your role isn't to make me do things I don't want to do ... your role is to make me do things I want to do but am too afraid to ...

OK, now don't worry, it's going to be awkward for you next week, but it will work out in the long run

[small voice] ... yes ...

I can't wait to hear about it. Anyway my advice is in future if your parents or anyone else want you to promise something again, you should outright and explicitly refuse if you aren't 100% sure it is something you can keep

[small voice] ... yes ... [normal voice] can I please tell them about my upcoming nose job?

We've been over this. Absolutely not. There is nothing wrong with your nose, its a good cute nose, it matches your adorable face perfectly, you will not be able to make them accept that

But ... then ... why am I getting it!

We've been over this too, and I understand the next time you see them, the time after this time, it will be very awkward for you, but we both agreed your face should look faker

[small voice] ... you agreed ...

Really? Say the word now and we will cancel the procedure

"..."

Well? I will cancel it right now, it's not a problem, it'll be easy

No! I want it! Please! I'll be good!

Why?

Because I think I'll look even cuter and faker with a paired down button nose.

Really?

Yes! I want to be plastic! Please, I really do! I want a fake bimbo nose! I'll be good! Please!

Ok, now its fun when we battle like this, but that was too far, and you know it

I know, I'm sorry, I'll be good. And I won't tell my parents about my nose job and I know I'll love it and I can't wait. I promise!

Good girl

Yes :)

And remember, you hate stick, you love dick

Hee hee, I hate stick, I love dick

And while I can't speak for everyone, in general dick loves those stupid looking melons you've had nailed to your chest

Hee hee, yeah I know! everyone's so nice, the guys in the gym are always looking. Dick loves these tits! And though I hate stick, I really love dick :D

Good girl, now lets take those honkers for a spin

Hee hee! yay! Wait, give me your empty bottle, I'll put them in the bin over there

Hmmm, no.

No?

Take my empty bottle and your empty bottle and throw them on the back seat or in one of the floorwells

What? I would never!

I've decided it would please me greatly if you are now one of those people with a messy car

No! But my car is always spotless. So is yours! You'd hate it too!

That's right, I would hate it. But I would find it hilarious if you were known as someone with a very messy car. I want your friends to argue behind your back about who has to go with you because no one wants to travel in the messy car. I want them to beg you to clean your car, but you will always refuse to care about the problem

I will! I will care!

Yes, I'm very pleased with this idea, your previous car was the old you and the spotlessness of the interior betrayed your old competence and diligence and adherence to what is expected of you. Your new car is the car of a very different woman. I'll bet you even grow to enjoy it

No! I'll hate it!

Here, that plastic bottle in your hand, face forward, don't look, and toss it behind you over your shoulder. There now didn't that feel fun?

No!

Ok, take my bottle, before you throw it, where would you like it to land? No objections, pick a place.

uhhh, behind the back seat on top of the boot.

Mmmm, not much to aim for even if you were looking, difficult throw, try it

.... Ohhhh, no, I thought ... almost

Wasn't that fun?

This isn't fair!

Ha ha ha. The first two of many. From now on I forbid you to take used, finished items from this car without my explicit permission. We'll see how bad it gets but maybe after 6 months I'll pay to have your car cleaned.

[laughing] No! I can't believe this is happening!

OK enough, pre-drive checks?

Yes, the mirrors are good actually!

No, I mean make-up

Hee hee, yes sir

Maybe I'll get you a custom car sun visor on your side, one that's all mirror, including a small section that does that real up close magnification.

Ha, you wouldn't?

Yes, actually I should get one for your side of my car too

Ha! No!

Ok, serious question, how often do you check your make-up before and after driving?

Sometimes before, sometimes after, some drives both, some drives neither.

Ok, from now on, unless you are blocking someone, you have to check before and after, and you also have to do a touch up.

Oh my God? Ok, but I think I look good ... but ...

... you look fantastic ...

... BUT! But if I MUST [side eye] then I will do my lipstick again

Good girl

[small voice] yes

Also buy an extra supply of whatever make-up utilities you would normally have, wipes, bases, I don't know, whatever your favorites are and keep a stash in your glove box

Hmmm, can I have the money?

Yes. And whenever I see the inside of that glove box it shouldn't be well-ordered. it should be a mess of random things at random angles all over the place. When you drive around a corner or over a bump I want to be able to hear them clattering

Hee hee Stop! Enough for today!

I'm really looking forward to there being discarded make-up paraphenalia in all the floorwells

No!

Admit it, you're going to love people seeing the inside of your car, and maybe they'll be too polite to say anything, but they'll be thinking, you live like this?

Oh God! Too much!

That was a lot for one day, but it is a new car day, always a big day.

True

Ok dummy, let's go

Yay! Hee, hee ... yay! dummy!