Remember When You Told Me...
by patchawan
My foot tapped a staccato against the floor, my only outlet for growing excitement in the confined airplane. Unwilling and unable to spare the money for a seat closer to the front, I sat in the very last row as the aisles filled up with everyone too impatient to remain seated. If I had been even a few rows closer to the exit, I might have joined them. As it was, I knew it would be a few minutes before the line began to move, and even longer until the movement reached me.
Digging past the snack wrappers and crumpled tickets from various layovers, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and turned it back on. Just landed! I texted Gwen, including the customary assortment of inane emojis. Can't believe I'll get to see you in an hour! The last few months had felt like years, and no amount of daily phone calls or Facetimes could make up for seeing her in person. Part of me still felt foolish, planning a trip to see her three months before I would see her at graduation, but when the phone and video calls had petered out I knew that I had to put in more effort if I wanted to keep the relationship alive. It was easy to discard the signs of our relationship floundering as her thesis work heated up, but Gwen was worth the extra attention.
We had met partway through college, bonding over a shared love of tennis after we discovered that both of our work-study jobs had us staring at each other from across the courtyard, her from the student services and me from the campus store. After catching her eyeing one of the ice creams I helped myself to as I worked, I decided after days of staring at her out of the corner of my eye to bring her one at my next shift. We started talking, and never stopped. At least, not until recently. It had been easy to manage the crunch with my thesis deadline, but that was when both of us were on campus together. But I graduated a year earlier than Gwen, and even though both of us knew that we were committed to long distance it proved much harder on both of us than we anticipated.
So excited to see you, Gwen responded. Work is going long but once I finish I will have all weekend free. Mind ubering to campus? I bit back the first twinge of sadness. I had imagined her at the baggage claim, rushing into my arms as soon as she saw me. But this made more sense, and it would be worth it if she could finish her work and not have anything looming over her. I made my way slowly off the plane, waiting along for my bag to appear on the carousel. It seemed to go even slower than usual, just to taunt me.
My Uber driver made a few attempts at friendly conversation, but quickly realized that I was too focused on my destination to pay him much mind. On my way, I texted her. Meet at your dorm?
Sorry Adam!!! Still working, she replied. Swing by the psych building and walk me home? ;) I hadn't bothered to specify a specific spot on campus when I ordered the ride, so I accepted being dropped off at the main dining hall and began to lug my bag across campus. The cold bit through my jacket. I hadn't missed the windchill in the Midwest.
It felt strange walking through campus at night. Even only a year removed from school, everyone looked so young and carefree. Hauling a large suitcase behind me only made me stand out more, and I caught a couple questioning glances from students on their way between parties.
I knew the way to the psych building from last year, having met Gwen there often while she was working on projects for her major. I sent her a quick message letting her know I had arrived. I rubbed my arms in the cold, suddenly anxious to see her after so long. What if things didn't flow as naturally as they had before? What if something had changed in the last six months, something that we hadn't been able to notice over text or video chat?
Then I saw her, and my doubts vanished. Gwen appeared down the stairwell, and caught my eye with a dazzling grin. Gwen had always been effortlessly beautiful, kept in shape by her love for the outdoors and a competitive streak in intramural sports. But she had always relied on her natural charisma rather than revealing clothes or heavy makeup.
I stared, open mouthed, as she dashed towards the door to let me in. Instead of a quick ponytail to keep it out of her face, Gwen had styled her hair in curls that hung to her shoulders. Her brown locks framed a face painted with color, drawing my eyes helplessly to her eyes and lips. She wore the tightest shirt I had ever seen her wear, displaying far too much skin than the weather would normally encourage. Jewelry sparkled on her fingers and around her neck, disappearing into her cleavage. I had enough time to gape, feeling a jolt of thrill and arousal at the the thought that this beauty, this goddess, had chosen me before she leapt into my arms.
I felt the hunger in her grip as she pressed her body against mine, trailing kisses down my jawline as though nobody else was watching. I dropped my bag into the snow to hold her better, and she let out a moan of approval as I pulled her closer. She giggled as we finally came up for air, winding a finger around one of her curls.
“Can I walk you to your dorm?” I asked, breathing hard. I was breathing hard and sweating even in the cold, hard cock pressing against Gwen in anticipation.
She gave me a quick peck on the lips and a wry look. “I'm still finishing up, I'm so sorry.” Her fingers drifted down to my cock, brushing it with her fingers through my pants with a sigh. “But we'll be fast. Come on up, there's something I think you can help us with.”
“Us?” I asked, but Gwen had already grabbed hold of my bag to usher me inside. Instead of turning towards the study rooms, she led me down the stairs into the basement housing the individual study rooms for senior thesis work. I had never been before, and we passed countless dark and locked rooms before I noticed a light in the room at the end of the hall.
I followed her in, struggling to keep pace while lugging my suitcase as she practically bounced down the hall. “Ok, Adam! I can't believe the two of you haven't met yet! Adam, this is Jake,” Gwen said, gesturing at a tall gangly man in a lab coat sitting behind the desk. “He's been helping me crunch some of the numbers for my project, and I would be totally underwater without his models to help interpret the raw data. Jake, this is Adam!”
Jake stood from the desk, and reached out a hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Adam. I've heard so much about you from Gwen.”
I took his hand and shook it, maybe a little too firmly. I didn't like his smile, or the way he looked at me as though I hadn't gotten an inside joke. “Good to meet you, Jake. Glad Gwen has some help in the final stretch before graduation.”
“Absolutely,” Gwen said, prancing behind the desk to look over the computer screen. I ignored the way Jake's eyes took her in, or how close she stood next to him. No need to make a scene. We would have the whole weekend together, just the two of us. In three months, Gwen and I would have a place of our own together. I trusted her. Besides, I could see her. I was practically ogling her myself. I could hardly blame Jake for staring, even if it filled me with the irrational urge to shove him into the fancy machinery along the back wall.
“This set of data should finish compiling sometime tonight,” Jake told her, tapping the edge of the monitor as though he had built it himself.
“Perfect,” Gwen said. “In that case, there's nothing else for us to do in the meantime. If you'll excuse us, I haven't seen Adam in months and I intend to make the most of the weekend. I'll see you on Monday to go over the results.” She grabbed a small purse from behind the desk, then moved back towards the door.
“That was it?” I asked, feeling stupid. “You didn't have any more work to do?”
Gwen shook her head slowly, confused. “Not if the data is still compiling? Besides, I've been looking forward to this weekend for so long. There's nothing that can't wait.”
“Wait a minute, Gwen,” Jake said, cutting in quickly. “Remember that idea you had?” Gwen's face shifted immediately. Confusion left her face and her eyes blanked out, as though she were lost in thought wondering what the idea could have been. She stayed there for a moment, her makeup drawing attention to how wide and unfocused her eyes were, and how her lips hung slightly open. “You thought that having Adam as our last subject would solve all of the issues we were having with the dataset.”
Light came back to Gwen's eyes as though a switch had been flipped, and she leapt into action. “Of course! How could I have forgotten! It would solve all of our problems!”
I stared at her, thrown by her sudden change in behavior. “You want me to what?”
“To be our last subject! Please, Adam, it won't take any time at all, and it would be so helpful. Please?”
I looked at Jake, desperate for an ally, only to find that he was nodding along as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I can have us prepped and ready to go in about five minutes. If you'll do it, Adam, we'll have enough redundancies in our stat read that it could cut about a week of analysis off Gwen's timeline.”
Gwen looked at me, a hopeful smile on her face. How could I say no? A whole week off of her timeline. It was probably the most helpful I could be.
“How long will it take?” I asked, and Gwen let out a squeal of delight and pulled me closer into a tight hug.
“I'll make it up to you later,” she whispered in my ear, her voice full of need. “I promise.”
“It won't take too much time at all,” Jake said, ignoring Gwen practically panting into my ear. “Maybe a half hour once the process gets started, but its different for everyone.” His voice brought me back to reality, reminding me that I needed to wait. Gwen looked chastened as well, drawing her hands softly across my jaw as she broke her hug to remove several boxes from the shelf along the wall. A half hour. I could wait a half hour, I told myself without taking my eyes off the way Gwen's shorts hugged her ass as she bent over.
“Why don't you sit here?” Jake said, pulling a chair into the middle of the room. “I'm sure Gwen's told you what her thesis is on?”
“Waking REM states,” I said, treating Jake to a slight glare. Something in his voice made me feel like he was quizzing me.
“Precisely. Gwen had the idea after one of our sleep studies, and if it works it could grant the benefits of a full night's sleep without ever losing consciousness. Imagine how much more we could accomplish with another ten hours of time in each day.”
“I can think of a few things,” Gwen said, winking at me. “This is our EEG monitor, Adam. It will help us measure what's happening in your brain as we trigger the waking REM sleep.” The helmet felt cold over my scalp, as though it had been left out in the midwest winter for a few hours. Gwen secured the helmet with a strap around my chin, while Jake ran a series of cords from the top into a different machine. “Are you ready?”
“Hold on,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. “Don't I need to sign a waiver or something?”
“We can take care of all of that later, babe,” Gwen said, sliding into my lap while she fiddled with the helmet and folded a small screen out from the side until it sat directly in front of my eyes.
“Do I need to do anything?” I asked, no longer sure I had hidden the panic from my voice.
“Don't worry about it,” Jake said.
“All you have to do is relax,” Gwen added, practically whispering the last word into my ear.
“When you wake up, you'll feel like a new man,” Jake said. Then Gwen tapped a switch on the side of the helmet, and I fell.
I knew I wasn't falling, but that's what it felt like. Like when you wake up from a dream while falling, but this had no sudden lurch at the end to bring me out of sleep. Just a constant fall with no bottom, as the screen filled my vision with darkness punctuated only by a strange pulsing pattern. I tried to speak, to ask if this was how I was supposed to feel, but I found that I couldn't get my mouth to open. I could feel the room fading from the edges of my vision, still hear Jake and Gwen muttering and fiddling with the machine but all I could see was the pattern. The pattern and the endless, welcoming black.
“Adam, can you hear me?” The voice thundered through my ears, the only thing I could hear. The words reverberated through the black, whispers echoing through my mind.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Wow,” said a second voice, from much further away. “These results don't look right. What is this spike here?” This voice wasn't as important, I knew that. It was a struggle even to hear it, to acknowledge it, and as soon as it spoke I could barely remember what it had said. Unimportant.
“Gwen, remember that idea you had? Where you would trust me to run the tests and interpret the results for you? Everything's fine.” The first voice was back, pounding through my skull, but I knew it wasn't speaking for me. Not yet. I needed to wait, to listen. To sink even deeper into the lulling pattern.
“Of course. Everything looks fine. I'll just sit here in the back and wait for you to finish up.”
“Actually, remember that idea you had? You were going to walk back to your dorm and wait for Adam, and when I'm finished I'll send him along.”
“That sounds great, Jake. Thank you so much.”
The second voice left, slipping away into the dark and leaving me to my oblivion. I sat there, lay there, or continued to fall as my brain dreamt of itself. When the voice returned, it shattered me. It told me things, truths about the universe, truths about myself. It put me back together then shattered me again, telling who Adam really was. All the lies I told myself, all the illusions I hid behind, were stripped away into nothingness before the voice. Finally, it told me to forget, to remember only a deep and pleasant dream. And I did.
“Adam? Adam can you hear me?” I stirred, hearing the voice as though from a great distance. I felt thick, and heavy, and my eyes wouldn't open. Where was I? “Don't try to talk, not just yet. Give yourself a minute.”
I blinked my eyes open, struggling to make sense of the room in front of me. Jake stood in front of me, a satisfied smirk on his lips. “Where's...Gwen?”
“Gwen is waiting for you back at her dorm. She told me to send you over as soon as we'd finished.”
“Isn't this her project?” The words came easier to me, helped along by a wave of anger. “I was doing this to help her out.” I tried to push myself up out of the chair, but Jake stopped me with a simple palm against my chest.
“Whoa, there, buddy. You went pretty deep, better give yourself a second, you might be a little unsteady on your feet.”
“I'm not your buddy,” I said. “I'm going to go find Gwen. Let me up, or we're going to have a problem.”
“Adam,” he said, staring at me with an unsettling intensity. “Remember when you told me that you wanted to sit down and relax with me for a bit before leaving?”
I blinked. When had I told Jake that? I had just woken up. But I must have at some point, because I did want to sit down and relax. I must have told him as soon as I had woken up, and forgotten. It wasn't like me to be so spacey.
Jake looked over my shoulder at the computer screen, and grinned. “Perfect,” he said, before turning back to me. “Isn't that better?”
I nodded slowly. I felt so much calmer now. I couldn't believe I had been about to storm over to Gwen's room in anger. What was I thinking?
“And Adam? Remember when you told me that you trusted me completely? That I was your best friend in the whole world?”
A stab of pain went through my head, like the first sign of an oncoming migraine but gone the next moment. When had I mentioned that? Of course, it was true. Immediately after meeting him we had connected so completely. That must be why we had stayed together, while Gwen had left. I just felt comfortable with Jake in a way that I couldn't describe, like we had grown up together and been suddenly reunited. I knew, immediately, that it didn't matter what we did together. Just being here with him was enough, keeping him company while he worked.
“Still feels weird to admit,” I said, realizing that I hadn't responded yet. “I mean, we haven't known each other that long.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Jake said, grinning at me with that maddening grin. I still remember how it had irked me when we first met, but now it just made me smile. “I thought that before we met up with Gwen, it would be good to catch up and talk about whatever's on your mind. Remember when you told me that you would always tell me the complete truth, whatever we happen to be talking about?”
That same confusing wave came over me, derailing my train of thought. But of course I remembered that. It must have happened when I told him how close I felt. He was my best friend, after all. It was only natural that I would tell him everything.
“Of course,” I said. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, I wanted to ask you about Gwen. You seem a little stressed, man.”
I nodded. No wonder Jake was my best friend. He could see right through me. “I know what you mean. It's part of the reason why I decided to make the trip. I just feel like we haven't been as close recently, like she hasn't been that interested in talking to me. She's always so busy now, with the program. And I know deep down it's just her working on the program, I had the same mad rush to the finish line last year. But it feels different, you know?”
Jake smiled. “I know what you mean. That's a lot of pressure to be putting on yourself. On this one trip.”
I nodded slowly. I hadn't really thought about it like that. “You're not wrong,” I said. “It's been driving me a little crazy. This feels stupid to say, because of how much I trust you, but for a bit I even wondered if there was something between the two of you.”
“Ridiculous,” Jake said, smiling.
I nodded. It was ridiculous. That was one of the reasons it was so nice to be such good friends with Jake. I could trust him to lay that particular fear to bed.
“But still,” Jake said. “That kind of pressure can't be good for your sex life. Especially now that Gwen's putting in more effort with her appearance, you know?”
I frowned. That had come out of nowhere. I trusted Jake completely, but that felt out of line. Just because we were best friends didn't mean that it was okay for him to bring up Gwen in that context, much less our sex life. “Hey, man, I don't know what--”
“Remember when you told me,” Jake said. “That it was completely normal for us to discuss your relationship with Gwen, and your sex life?”
My brain spasmed for a bit. I suppose I had told him that. That must have been part of why I felt so close to him. We could talk about things that I felt uncomfortable talking about to other people. Sometimes my old habits, old insecurities, reared up even with Jake.
“Sorry, man. Of course. Sorry I got possessive for a minute there.”
“Can't blame you for getting a little possessive. Gwen's so fucking hot, man. Especially now that she's started to take a little bit more pride in her appearance.”
“Right??” God, it felt good to have someone to talk to about it. “Like, she's always been gorgeous. But I've never seen her try to dress up like that. And to think she would do that for me? Drives me wild.”
“Well,” Jake said. “Seeing as we're such good friends, I think I should tell you that she's been dressing like this for a few months now.”
“What?” I said, somewhat stupidly. The shift in my mood was dramatic. If she wasn't dressing like that for me, who was she dressing like that for?
“I wouldn't worry about it like that,” Jake said. He had immediately noticed which direction my brain had gone. That was why we were such good friends. “Dressing like this might just be the new Gwen. She's so confident in her body, and so comfortable in making sure she gets what she needs.”
“What she needs?”
“Of course, man. You know Gwen. You guys have been doing long distance for so long, she must be losing her mind. She needs a good fucking. Needs it badly. Remember when you told me how bad Gwen needs to be fucked, and how important it is that she gets what she deserves?”
The information flowed into my mind with barely a hiccup. I remembered how seeing Gwen had made me feel, how hard I had gotten immediately. Maybe Gwen felt the same way. Maybe that was part of why I had flown out, knowing how much Gwen needed the physical aspect of our relationship fulfilled, and knowing deep down how important it was that she gets what she deserves. I immediately felt better. This was a problem I could solve. My sex life with Gwen had always been great until we were in different places.
“Absolutely,” I told Jake. “I had no idea it was so important to her, but talking to you it all makes sense. I can do this for her, I know I can.”
“Sure, buddy.” Jake's voice was mocking, but I knew that was just our teasing dynamic. He was too good of a friend to be casually mean during a serious conversation. “But are you really being honest with yourself?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, remember when you told me you thought the pressure might get to you, and that you would be unable to get hard at all?”
The world ground to a halt. Was that true? Was what I had been saying mere bravado, trying to talk myself up?
“After all,” Jake continued. “You know how important this is to Gwen.”
Jake was right, I realized. He must have remembered our previous conversation, something I had admitted to but then tried to avoid thinking about. I felt so foolish, bragging to Jake about how hard Gwen had made me. Was that even true? I couldn't remember.
“I just don't know what to do about it,” I said, my voice suddenly hoarse with emotion. “It's just so important.”
“I know, man. It's a rough hand that you've been dealt.”
“Maybe it won't be an issue,” I said, practically pleading. “Maybe it won't be a problem.”
“I doubt it,” Jake said, full of sympathy. “Remember when you told me that you definitely won't be able to get an erection around Gwen at all?”
I hung my head. Jake wouldn't let me lie to myself. That was the sign of a true friend. “What am I going to do? Gwen's expecting me tonight. Maybe I can just stall a bit. You know, eat her out instead. Gwen loves when I do that.”
But Jake was already shaking his head. “That won't work, I'm afraid. Maybe with the old Gwen. But this new one? You saw how she looked. Remember when you told me how obvious it is that she needs to be fucked for real, by a real man with a hard cock?”
I grimaced. I didn't really remember telling him that, but I must have. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that was what Gwen needed. Why had I bothered to fly out here if I couldn't help, couldn't give Gwen what she deserved? “This is a nightmare,” I muttered, not even to Jake particularly.
“Not necessarily, man. Remember when you told me that it didn't matter if it was you that helped Gwen, so long as she gets what she deserves?”
My head felt like it was splitting open. Was that right? That couldn't be what I wanted, could it? Then Jake laid his hand on my shoulder, and the pain abated. Of course, Jake was right. He was my north star, reminding me of what was important. Gwen was important, the most important. If I couldn't provide what she needed, why should she go without? Gwen deserves better. Gwen deserves the best. Besides, this was just temporary. Just opening up the relationship to overcome a small hurdle. Everything would be fine as soon as Gwen graduated, and they could be together again.
“I don't even know how to go about it,” I admitted. “God, it's hard even to talk about.”
“I understand,” Jake said, all hint of mockery gone. Jake knew when to be serious, when to be a supportive friend. “It's a tough nut to crack. You're going to have to find someone that both of you trust an awful lot if you want the relationship to be able to survive. That can't be easy.”
That made sense. There weren't that many people that both of us were close to. Most of Gwen's friends were women, and most of those were straight. Besides, Jake had just reminded me that Gwen needed to be fucked by a hard cock, so even our lesbian friends were out. They had to be someone who was attracted to Gwen, who I knew wouldn't fuck me over.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. “It's so fucking obvious.”
“What?” Jake said. “What's so obvious?”
“It's you, man. It has to be you. There isn't anybody else.”
Jake shook his head. “No way man. Surely there's somebody else.”
“There isn't. Besides, you were just saying how hot you thought Gwen was now. And there's nobody I trust more than you, except for maybe Gwen. It's perfect! The only thing I'm worried about is whether or not it will negatively affect our friendship.”
“Of course it won't,” Jake said quickly. “Remember when you told me that having me fuck Gwen would make us even closer?”
I blinked. What was he talking about? But of course, it made perfect sense. Asking him to fuck Gwen was a huge favor, and if he could do this for me on the weekend that it mattered most? I would literally never be able to repay what I owed him.
“Thank you,” I said, looking him in the eye. He averted his gaze, as though embarrassed, but that was classic Jake. Willing to be there for me through thick and thin, but unwilling to be complimented for it.
“Absolutely, man. What are friends for? Are you ready?”
“I guess so,” I said. “Maybe I've been stalling. Let's go tell her. Do you think she'll understand?”
“Don't worry about it, Adam. If she's at all hesitant, I'm confident I'll be able to convince her to see your side of things.” That made me feel better. A huge weight was lifted off my chest. Not only would Jake be able to help me with Gwen, which I'd been agonizing about for some time, but he'd also help me explain things to her.
“Thanks again, man,” I said. “This isn't quite how I saw the weekend going.” Jake powered down the computer, and then held the door for me as he flicked the lights out.
“It's not all bad,” Jake said. “Remember when you told me that you had always fantasized about watching another man fuck your girlfriend? That it turned you on more than anything?”
My brain burned, so fiercely that I slapped my palm to my forehead.
“You ok?” Jake asked, suddenly worried.
The pain abated finally, giving me the time to process Jake's stunning revelation. What had I told Jake, and when? It was certainly something that I could only admit to a close friend, someone as close as I was to Jake. I couldn't remember when it had been. Maybe I had blacked it out. That made sense. An admission I could only confess while I was too drunk to remember. An admission I had hidden from myself until now.
Why else would I have so readily come up with the idea to have Jake fuck Gwen instead of me? It made perfect sense that I would suggest something so outlandish if it turned me on. If it turned me on a lot. I thought about the idea of Jake fucking Gwen, and my cock twinged. God, I was almost looking forward to it.
“It's not like that,” I said quickly, trying to adjust my cock before Jake noticed how rock hard I was at the idea. “This is for Gwen, and what she needs, not some perv thing of mine.”
“No worries, Adam. I didn't mean to imply that at all. After all, I know how difficult this must be for you. Remember when you told me that you thought you might really be bi?”
The pain stabbed through my head again, and I cursed. Jake stood by my side, waiting to see if there was anything he could do to help, but there was nothing until the pain abated. Finally, it slid away, as though it had never been. Of course I would wonder that. I never questioned it at all growing up, but now I was fantasizing about Gwen and another man. My fantasies now involved men. It would be crazy not to wonder.
“Yeah,” I said, acknowledging his point as he led us down the dark hallway and out into the quad. “I get where you're coming from. That just doesn't seem like something I need to worry about right now. Even if I'm not fully straight, that doesn't change how I feel for Gwen. Or how she feels for me.”
“Of course,” Jake said, grinding his teeth. “You and Gwen really have something special. But remember when you told me that you had been focusing on men more often in your fantasies? That you couldn't stop thinking about their cocks?”
I thought about Jake standing in front of Gwen. I had seen Gwen before, fucked Gwen before. It was only natural that I would be focusing on Jake instead. He stood there before her, huge and erect as he prepared to enter her. Gwen's hand looked so small and dainty next to its girth, and I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like in my hand as well. It was normal that I would wonder that, I'd always liked guys and girls even if I hadn't always admitted it to myself.
“Adam? Earth to Adam?” I jolted out of my fantasy. Jake waved a hand in front of my face, and I grimaced with guilt. “Get lost in thought dreaming about dicks again?”
From anyone else, I might have thought they were making fun of me, or being homophobic. But I trusted Jake enough to have shared the deepest parts of my soul, and I knew that he was just looking out for me.
“Sorry, man. I don't know what came over me.”
“Don't worry about it. I know how much this affects you. Remember when you told me how much your need to be sexually submissive to men consumes your brain? It's all you can think about.”
Pressure tightened around my head, as though I were deep underwater, before I stumbled. Jake gripped my arm to keep me from falling, and I couldn't help myself as I leaned into his arm. God, it felt so right to have his arms around me. I couldn't help thinking about how easy it would be for him to push my weight down, down to my knees, and pull out his dick right out in the open, right in front of everyone, and I would have no choice but to-
Then Jake released his grip on my arm, and the moment was gone. I shivered, nothing to do with the cold. I wished he would put his arms around me again.
“We're here,” Jake said, stopping in front of Gwen's dorm room. I hadn't even noticed we were close. I had been too lost in my fantasies, imagining Jake and the things he could get me to do. Why was I so turned on? Jake swiped a card on the door, then led me inside. The hallway felt so long and confining. How had I gotten myself in this position?
“I know you're probably feeling a little stressed about the situation,” Jake said. God, he could read me like a book. “Remember when you told me that you should probably just do whatever I say while we're in there? I'll try to keep things from being too awkward for you.”
I nodded, too nervous to speak. That was the perfect solution. He didn't even know that I had just been fantasizing about him taking charge. I was so turned on I didn't know if I would be able to do anything else anyway. Something about the way he was so confident, so dominant, made me think with my cock instead of my head anyway.
Jake stopped in front of a door. Gwen's door. “Are you ready?”
“Ready as I'll ever be,” I said.
“Remember when you told me that you just wanted to follow my lead, and stay quiet unless I ask you something directly. Keep in mind that as soon as you're in the room, you'll probably be more turned on than you've ever been in your life.”
I nodded. He knew me better than anyone. I watched as Jake knocked on the door, as confident as ever. That was Jake, totally unflappable. Even in the craziest of situations, even as I asked him to fuck Gwen for me, he was in his element.
Gwen opened the door, looking absolutely gorgeous. She was dressed in a piece of lingerie that I had never seen before. I wished I could appreciate it more, the way it deserved, but I was too anxious in the face of her beauty. Too anxious, and too horny thinking about men.
“Jake?” Gwen said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Sorry, Gwen, I know you had a different night planned. But Adam asked me to come along because he had something important to talk about with the three of us. Can we come in?”
Gwen shook her head, and gave me a questioning look. I didn't answer. Jake would handle the talking better than I could. It was better if I stayed quiet unless he asked me something directly. Gwen shrugged, clearly frustrated, then stepped aside for us to enter. I followed Jake in, practically boiling. Jake had been right. This was my fantasy come true, and I was suddenly so hard at the idea of what Jake was about to say.
“So what's this about, Adam? What's so important that Jake has to be here tonight?” I looked to Jake, waiting for him to speak. It made sense that I had brought up letting him take the lead. Thank God Jake had reminded me, otherwise I had no idea what I would say.
“Gwen, remember that idea you had? That you would be overjoyed if I came back to your room with Adam?” Gwen shifted for a moment, then nodded. Jake was just as good a friend to Gwen as he was to me. Nobody else could possibly remember all the things we said so well. There was nobody else I would trust with this task. Nobody else whose cock was perfect enough for Gwen.
It had been the perfect thing to say to Gwen, too. No wonder I had decided to let him take the lead. She calmed down immediately, and grinned at both of us.
“Great,” she said, sitting down on the bed. “Finally, I've been waiting for the two of you forever.”
“And remember that idea you had? Where you knew that whatever fantasies Adam had, fulfilling them would turn you on so much because of how much you love him?
Gwen twitched, but then her smile widened as she looked at me. “Of course, baby. I want this weekend to be special for you too. Seeing you turned on always gets me going, you know that. What did you have in mind?”
I gulped, and looked at Jake. He nodded at me. “Tell her, Adam. Tell Gwen what would turn you on. Tell her why you asked me to be here.”
I didn't know how to say it, but I knew I had to follow Jake's lead. “I want you to...” God, it was hot just to think about. “I want you and Jake to...um, I mean, I want you to...” Jake was watching me with a hungry, possessive look in his eye and it made my blood boil with need. “I want him to fuck you.”
Gwen's jaw dropped, and then she let out a little moan of need. “God, that's hot,” she whispered. “Why is that so hot? But we shouldn't, Adam. We would need to talk about something like this in advance. Right?” She looked at Jake, really looked at him. “Right?”
“Well, I don't know about that,” Jake said. “Remember that idea you had? That fucking me would be the best sex you've ever had, and that you couldn't wait another minute longer?”
Gwen and I were both stunned for a moment. I was shocked that Gwen would have told Jake that earlier, and that he wouldn't have told me. But if he had kept it from me, there must have been a good reason. I trusted him. Gwen must have just been surprised that Jake would betray her confidence on my account, but she shook it off after a moment and then stared at Jake with a look of pure lust.
“Adam, my man,” Jake said, paying no attention to me as he moved closer to Gwen. He ran a hand down her exposed shoulder, brushing the rings of her hair, and she moaned again. “Remember when you told me that as soon as you saw a cock in real life, you knew that you would forget all about being attracted to women and be fixated on pleasing dick for the rest of your life?”
Pain exploded in the back of my skull, but neither Gwen or Jake paid me any mind. Jake was too busy peeling off his shirt as Gwen tore at his belt like a wild animal. Was Jake right again? Had I told him that? Gwen looked consumed by desire, more than I had ever seen her. Had I failed to light that fire in her because all along I had been more focused on men? In denial about my sexuality? I couldn't blame her. I wanted to do the same thing. I wanted to be down with her, on my knees, feeling the heat in his member as I ran my tongue down it.
Gwen ripped his pants down, and I stood frozen at the sight of his bulge poking out of his underwear. I wasn't ready. I knew if I saw it, all of my walls would come crumbling down. No more denial. No more pretending that I found Gwen anywhere near as hot as Jake. I would have to face what I really wanted.
She pulled it out of his boxers, and time slowed. His cock was beautiful, there was no other word for it. I understood Gwen perfectly, felt that same animal hunger stir within me as she licked her way down the shaft. Jealousy roared through me like a wildfire, consuming any other thoughts besides Jake's cock. I wanted to be right there next to her, worshiping, tasting, experiencing, changing, whatever it took. But I knew I had to follow Jake's lead, and what Jake wanted was to fuck Gwen, so I stood there, watching, waiting for my turn.
Gwen lay back on the bed, spreading her legs for his perfect dick, and Jake paused to glance at me before entering her. “Don't just stand there like a creep. Why don't you take a seat over there and watch? Make sure you touch yourself, this is the sexiest thing that's ever happened to you.”
I shoved whatever of Gwen's had been on the chair, unwilling to take my eyes off Jake and his cock for even a moment. As soon as his cock slid into her, I let out a soft moan. I gripped my own dick, stroking in time with his thrusts as he made my dreams come true. How long had I been waiting for this perfect moment? I came, but the pleasure didn't stop and I just kept stroking and stroking as my fantasies played out before my very eyes. Gwen moaned and shuddered along with me, and after what felt like hours Jake came as well, grunting and slowing his thrusts as he filled Gwen with his cum.
I felt my hand fall to my side, slick with my own seed, as Jake pulled out. “Remember that idea you had?” Jake whispered in her ear. “How as soon as we finished having sex, you would fall into a deep sleep and dream about how good it feels when I fuck you?”
Gwen let out a soft little moan, nuzzling her head into Jake's hand like a favorite dog, then collapsed back onto the bed.
“That leaves just the two of us,” Jake said, turning to me. I barely heard him. All I could do was focus on his cock, dripping with Gwen's juices and his own cum. Jake took a step closer, and my cock throbbed. “Remember when you told me that you would do anything to suck a cock, that the taste of cum drives you so wild with need that you couldn't hope to resist the urge?”
Something stabbed through my brain, but it didn't matter. There was a cock. It was right in front of me, and it was Jake's cock, and it was coming closer. I slid off the chair, and it was at eye level. Even after fucking Gwen, I could tell from the gloating tone of his voice that he was enjoying this. Enjoying me, looking up at him, desperate. His cock began to harden again.
He arched an eye, and I shivered. “Please?” I begged, barely recognizing the voice that came out of my throat. “Please, I need it. I need it so bad.”
“Suck it, you little cockslut.” I moaned, finally taking him in my mouth. He tasted glorious. Everything I had ever dreamed of, everything I could possibly imagine. The sensation of his cock in my mouth was electric, and I swirled the taste around with my tongue as my eyes rolled back into my head.
I lost track of how long I knelt there, worshiping Jake. It didn't matter, anyways. I was finally content. Jake would sometimes let out pleased moans, and sometimes remind me of something I had mentioned to him before, usually about how much of a brainless and submissive little slut I was for powerful men. It was all true, and hearing it again just made me appreciate Jake's cock even more. When he finally came in my mouth, when I got to taste the cum at the back of my throat that I had worked so hard for, I whited out.
When I came to, Gwen was already awake. She had come to the same conclusion that Jake and I had, that it didn't make sense for us to date any longer. I would have thought that this would make me sad, but it actually felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. Instead of leaving me to awkwardly linger around while I waited for my flight out on Sunday, Jake introduced me to a few of his guy friends. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew the remaining days had passed in a haze of cocks and cum, moving from one of his friends to the next with a fervent joy. I didn't even see Jake or Gwen again until it was time for me to leave, and I needed my things from the room. Gwen answered the door naked, the entire room reeking of sweat and sex. She looked so happy, and brought my suitcase out to me so I wouldn't get distracted by the sight of Jake's cock and miss my flight. She knew me so well. Only a girl as perfect as Gwen could have made me think I was ever straight.
I nearly lost it waiting for my plane, consumed by lust for every man walking by in the airport, but Jake had told me how important it was to keep my newfound urges under control until I was back home. Then I could finally submit to my new life, the way I had always dreamed. I couldn't thank Jake enough. He was the best friend I had ever had, reminding me of all the things I had told him in confidence at just the perfect time. I closed my eyes as the plane took off, thinking of Jake's cock, and smiled.