Copy Loss
Part VIII
by nevermind
TW: Coming out. Homophobia.
Eva stood paralyzed by surprise as her mother hugged her tightly, her thoughts in complete disarray. Fuck, what now? What do I tell her? Why the fuck did I ever give her a key? Why didn’t she call ahead? Why–
“Mom!” she said, her voice tight not only from the crushing embrace but from utter apprehension as well. “I didn’t know you were coming!”
“Oh honey, I’m sorry but I knew you would have told me to stay home,” her mom said, voice equal parts accusatory and sweet. Eva hated it, now more than ever. Her mother let her go, and looked at her at arm’s length. “But I’m here now and it’s so good to see you! Look at you!”
“I–” Eva began, then trailed off and tried again. “I’m sorry, it’s–”
“I made dinner! There wasn’t much in the fridge, but the neighbors had some rice, and–”
“Mom!”
“Yes, honey?”
Despite everything it was hard to say it.
“You shouldn’t have come.”
The look on her face was heartbreaking. Eva had never wanted it to go this way. It should have been easy. A nice and slow process, losing contact, shutting herself off. But of course, mom had picked up on it immediately. Fuck.
After a moment, her mother seemed to collect herself. Eva could tell that she was choosing to be compassionate instead of confrontational. Goddammit.
“Oh, Eva,” her mom said. “Don’t say things like that. I will always be here for you, even if it means missing service this weekend.”
“I…” Eva swallowed hard. Her thoughts were racing. This hadn’t been the plan. She didn’t know what to do. Was she supposed to shout at her, drive her away, tell her to go back? Anything to keep her from discovering what had happened to her, of course, but… she was still her mom. She didn’t want to do that if there was an alternative. And the plan… the plan had been to slowly let things dry up without ending up on bad terms. Make no waves. Raise no suspicions. It was too late for that now, but should she make it even worse?
No. She had to stick to the plan. Act obedient and follow orders. Stay on Devanshi’s good side. Otherwise – otherwise Devanshi would know that she obeyed Emily, and take away her obedience, and make her stop serving her.
Fuck. Alright.
Before Eva could say anything, her mother spoke.
“You don’t have to talk about it now, Eva” she said. “Whatever’s on your mind, whatever burdens your soul… it can stay between you and the Lord for now. I know it’s late, and you had a long day, and your mother just ambushed you. Just… dios mio, please eat something! You’re way too skinny!”
Eva laughed nervously. Of course.
She sighed. Okay. “Thank you, mom. I’m starving, actually.”
“I knew it. Come on, kitchen is that way. Sorry the apartment is such a mess, absolutely not ready for guests.”
“Oh my God, mom!”
Her mother chuckled and went ahead to the kitchen, glad that she had already obediently destroyed all evidence of her connection to Devanshi’s organization. Her mom had made some bare-bones stir fry with the little food that Eva had lying around, but it tasted very nice, and even better, her mom let her eat it in silence. Eva could tell she was having a hard time holding back on questioning her and drowning her in concern, but she was taking everything she could get at this point.
“You can have the bed,” she said when she was done. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No, honey, it’s not a–”
“Mom, you’re forty-seven and the couch is less than five feet across.”
Her mother pursed her lips. “Well… umm…. in that case I won’t tell my wonderful daughter where she can and can’t decide to sleep. Thank you. God bless you!”
Eva smiled. “Mom… I… again, I’m sorry, but I really think that I need to go to sleep. I wasn’t even going to have dinner, and tomorrow–”
“You go right ahead, honey. I'm tired, too. I’ll call your dad and let him know you’re still here and that everything’s fine, then. He'll be able to tell Father Marcos that he there's nothing to worry about with our little Eva, right? He doesn't have to be worried.”
Eva took the offer. She sighed. “No. He doesn’t. Thanks. But I’ll still have to go to work tomorrow – I can’t cancel that short notice. Will you be fine?”
“Don’t you worry about me, Eva,” her mom said. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I’ve crashed on someone’s couch in another state.”
Eva raised an eyebrow. “Except you’re not crashing on my couch.”
Her mom grinned knowingly. “And it’s so nice of you to take care of your mother like that, honey. God bless you! I’m so happy to see you.”
“Me too, mom… but I really need to go to sleep.”
“Yes, of course. I love you. I'll say a prayer for you so you don't have to.”
Eva smiled. Her mom was really laying it on thick today. It was hard to blame her. “I love you too.”
Some absurd part of Eva felt like a little child past curfew as she used her burner phone to inform her not-quite enslavers of the unfortunate developments. She had her blanket pulled over her head as she was anxiously looking at her text messages with the people that claimed to own her will and body.
She took a deep breath, collecting herself. She was property, of course. She was enslaved. She knew that. She also knew that she needed to do anything in her power to keep it that way. But this was bigger than herself and without Devanshi’s machine, there was no way that she could stay Emily’s brainwashed servant. That meant she had to let Devanshi make the moves for now. Play the game and wait for her one shot at turning the tables. This wasn’t it. This was a distraction, and maybe Devanshi and her slaves could make it go away. They had to. They didn’t want to lose Eva, did they? There was no way they would just cut their losses and let her go. Right?
Eva really hoped that they wouldn’t. Otherwise, she wasn’t going to be able to see Emily ever again, let alone serve her.
Fuck.
For a while she simply lay there, waiting, and there was no reply at all. The screen was hurting her eyes and she was as exhausted and anxious as she’d ever been. She could feel her mind spinning, trying to come up with ideas, but it was all too much. Too complicated. Too many variables. Too many unknowns. She didn’t know what to do, and she knew that she was in no position to know what to do. This was beyond her. That was the reason why she had contacted Devanshi’s people.
She waited for at least another hour, fruitlessly.
When she finally got a text back, it did almost nothing to make her feel any better:
| Come in at the usual time. Mistress D will deal with this personally.
Well, fuck. How about that?
Eva didn’t get much sleep, not that she had expected to. To make things worse, her mom was already up.
“I made some coffee,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Fine.”
“Do you want some eggs?”
“No.”
“Maybe some toast?”
“No.”
“Want to sit down at least? Say grace?”
“Mom, please. I need to get to work in fifteen minutes and I haven’t even showered.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry for asking. I know you young people are very busy on the coast.”
Eva sighed. Right now she was happy not to have taken down the cross on the kitchen wall. She wouldn't have heard the end of it. “Please, can we do this later?”
Her mother took a deep breath. There was a long pause. “Eva, this is hard for me too. But I know that there’s something on your mind. I can tell. I’m your mother.”
“I can’t. Not right now.”
“...okay.”
Eva looked at her, feeling guilty by sheer reflex and force of habit. This was her mom, and she was shutting her out.
But she had to. She had no other choice. She had to obey. She had to be property. There was no other way. This is what she was. What she was always going to be.
“We’ll talk about it, okay? I promise.”
And with that, she went to take a shower. When she was done, she quickly got dressed and left before her mother could get the opportunity to get another word in.
Fuck. This week only got worse and worse, didn’t it?
She drove to the compound, thoughts numb, trying to distract herself from all of the questions churning in her head about how all of this was possibly going to end, and when she arrived she almost couldn’t believe how much of a relief it was to finally be back among people that knew who she was: property. She parked her car, deposited her stuff, and it wasn’t long before the first fuck slave greeted her, naked and beautiful, something to be used, something that existed to please and obey, something to get off to. It felt so much like coming home, and Eva suddenly realized just how much she needed her mother to be gone from her existence. She needed to be this, and nothing else. Just a slave. Just a collection of warm holes, eager to be filled.
And right now, she was going to meet the woman that was both necessary to make it happen and at the same time the greatest threat to everything that Eva wanted.
“Come in, slave,” said Devanshi Charan, and Eva stepped into the office of the woman that owned so much power and so many people – and in that moment, she also owned Eva. Her presence was electrifying. She exuded pure, unadulterated authority, and she was utterly magnificent in her rage – and she was obviously furious.
“What the fuck is it with you, you stupid whore?” Devanshi demanded. “How can every single thing you touch go wrong?”
A cold shiver went down Eva’s spine, and she didn’t have to imagine the utter terror of displeasing her one reason for existence. She was right there, and her desperation was real: “I’m sorry, Mistress,” she whimpered. “I’m sorry! I obeyed as best as I could. I followed my commands, and did everything I was ordered to do. I–”
“Shut your fucking mouth, slave,” Devanshi snapped. “Of course you did. What the fuck? Why would I ever question that, except if you weren’t brainwashed to be properly obedient?”
Oh God, no.
“I’m sorry, Mistress,” Eva stammered breathlessly. “I was stupid, I was… selfish… to say it – but I couldn’t bear you thinking that I wasn’t obeying at all costs. I’m sorry! I’m–”
She slapped herself, hard. Devanshi had told her to shut her mouth, and she’d kept on talking.
Devanshi smirked humorlessly. “Come here, slut.”
Eva obeyed, and stepped up to Devanshi, heart racing, hoping, praying, that she had at least believed her.
“Kneel.”
Eva obeyed.
“Look at me.”
Eva obeyed, and met her terrible gaze. There was no sympathy there. No consideration for anything except for how much use Eva was to her, how much she was worth, how she could serve and obey. It made Eva’s pussy squirm with arousal. She had never felt so objectified, not even while giving away her body at a discount rate.
Devanshi swung wide and slapped her mercilessly on the other cheek, and for a moment Eva’s vision turned black, and she saw stars as the world returned, tilted at an angle, prickling with throbbing pain.
“You’re barely worth all the effort I’m forced to put into you,” Devanshi said, her voice dripping with contempt. “Maybe I should just cut you loose. Make you forget any of this ever happened.”
“No!” Eva mouthed silently. “No! Please!”
She was on the floor, bowing deep, holding on to the hem of Devanshi's Sari, sobbing, begging, trembling with desperation. Anything but that! She was a slave! She needed to obey! She needed to be used!
“Let go! Back on your knees!”
Eva obeyed, tears on her cheeks. Just as she was back upright, Devanshi slapped her again. Another slap followed, and another, and another – but even as her cheeks turned numb with pain, there was a strange pleasure in all of it. This, too, meant serving. Devanshi wasn’t fucking her, but Eva’s body was definitely being used to give her satisfaction.
It didn’t last long before Devanshi stopped herself, but it felt like forever. “Fucking whore,” she said when she was done. “Hope you’re happy. Are you happy?”
For a moment, Eva had to think about what answer would please Devanshi the most.
“...I don’t know, Mistress,” she finally said, and Devanshi smiled. For a moment, she said nothing, and then she nodded to herself.
“I’m not going to free you, slave.”
Eva gasped with relief. “Thank you, Mistress! Thank you!”
“Shut up.”
Eva obeyed – properly this time. She wasn’t going to say a single word until explicitly told to. She did her best to collect herself and compose her trembling body into some pose that appropriately reflected her gratitude and pride to stay property. A good little slave, alert and eager and ready to obey.
“Slave Vicky,”
“Yes, Mistress?”
Slave Eva’s heart skipped a beat. Vicky’s voice was coming from behind her, and Eva couldn’t tell if she’d been there the whole time or if she’d entered Devanshi’s office while Eva had been punished.
“This slut has need of your services sooner than anticipated.”
Oh God, no. No, no, no!
“Yes Mistress,” said Vicky. “I can do her advanced training right now.”
NO!!!
“No,” said Devanshi. “That’s not the issue. This whole situation is an unmitigated disaster, but her proper enslavement can wait another two days. I want as little disruptions to the schedule as possible, and this will already keep you from serving a client.”
Eva’s insides unclenched, just a little bit. What were they talking about?
“Yes, Mistress,” said Vicky. “How will I obey?”
“Slave Eva, get up. Both of you, come with me. I’ll make sure this goes efficiently. Let’s not lose any more fucking time.”
They both obeyed. Eva got to her feet and started after Devanshi, who had already started leaving at a brisk pace. She met Vicky’s gaze, and was surprised to see almost none of the sadistic enjoyment she had expected. Instead, Vicky looked utterly alert and concentrated, too occupied with absolute obedience to her mistress to gloat or sneer. Eva had never seen her that submissive, and it was so fucking hot. All that will and all that ego, utterly gone. Just a complicit little slut, ready to do anything for her owner.
Devanshi marched them across the grounds, turning heads and garnering looks of awe and adoration all the way to their destination, which turned out to be the on-site enslavement chambers.
Things happened fast after that. Vicky flipped on the lights, and quickly took her place at the console. Eva, meanwhile, was commanded to mount the enslavement chair. Her heart was racing now. She didn’t know what was going to happen. They weren’t going to reinforce her enslavement – at least so they had said. Were they lying and trying to keep a potentially disobedient slave from panicking? If so, then what? There was no way out – and even if there was that would mean abandoning Emily and giving up her existence as property.
Fuck.
Before she knew it, Devanshi was strapping her in – and some part of Eva was surprised to see the slave mistress herself doing the dirty work. It felt like a grim sort of honor to have been promoted to a management issue that required full oversight. Oh God. If that meant that Davenashi was going to be there for her advanced training as well, she was utterly fucked. Was this it? Had she just lost? She suddenly thought about Emily. If this was it, these were going to be her last moments as her property. The thought filled her with dread, but she didn’t know what to do. If she tried to run, she was guaranteed to lose. If she played along, there was still a sliver of hope – even if it felt like giving up. Oh God.
“Spread your legs.”
Eva obeyed, and let Devanshi strap down her ankles and push a pair of vibrators into her holes. The invasion of her body hardly registered anymore. If anything, it felt incredibly hot to be handled like a piece of cattle. If she wasn’t secretly terrified of what was about to happen to her, this would be the hottest thing ever.
All around them, the hypnotic lights flashed a quick test pattern. Devanshi looked at slave Vicky, who had been busy with startup procedures. “Slave Vicky, can you name candidates for Contingency 7 or do we need to consult slave Laura?”
“Slave Emily would be ideal,” Vicky said without hesitation. “They already have history and very good chemistry.”
Devanshi shook her head and walked over to the cooler where they kept the trance-inducing drugs. “No,” she said. “She’s still damaged. That will arouse suspicion.”
“Slave Patricia, then,” Vicky said. “They’ve spent more time together than any other slaves on the compound.”
“No,” said Devanshi, and drew a syringe of clear liquid. “Can’t spare her. I took her off the schedule to train this disaster of a fuck slave two hours ago and she’s already fully booked.”
Some part of Eva couldn’t help but feel fascinated and slightly amused to see Devanshi being part of the work, and she had to think that all of this must have started out with Devanshi herself doing her first enslavement. This felt strangely like she was witnessing someone go back to their roots. Devanshi seemed practiced, comfortable even, and she had dropped almost all of her imperious demeanor as she stepped around the enslavement chamber and up to her.
“Any other suggestions, slave?” she asked as she injected Eva.
“Myself?” Vicky said, sounding sincerely unsure. Whatever the task was, Vicky seemed to have dropped all bravado for her Mistress. “We’ve had a rough start, but Eva’s come around. Could be a sub/dom thing.”
Devanshi considered this for a second or two, then shook her head. “No. It would be appropriately disconcerting, but I won’t let you miss the Netrevko appointment. I need to stay on Sergej’s good side.”
“Of course, Mistress,” said Vicky, “I look forward to giving him my body.”
“Good girl.”
Eva was beginning to feel woozy. Already, the lights around her seemed to have become entirely otherworldly even before they hadn’t even started flickering or strobing yet. She still could tell what was happening, but she was sure that it wouldn’t be long before she forgot all about that. Soon, she would be utterly open, thoughts drifting and drifting and…
“There’s that one hospitality slave,” said Vicky. Eva barely even noticed. She’d just been thinking something… something about the lights. People were talking around her. There were people. Two people. Devanshi… Vicky… they had said something, hadn’t they? Something about a hospitality slave? Why did that seem important? Why was… why were there… there were so many lights.
“Good. Those are easy to spare,” said Devanshi. Devanshi… Devanshi was here. So intimidating. So big. So important. How was Eva ever going to beat her? ‘Easy to spare’. They were all so easy to spare, weren’t they?
All except Emily. Emily. She wanted to keep her. Keep serving her. Keep being hers. Be easy to spare. For Emily. Just another slave for Emily. Oh. Wait. The lights. It was all done, now. It was happening. She was… she was… a slave. Always a slave. No matter what. Even if she lost. Even if she lost Emily. It was going to be fine. She was going to be happy. Happy. Happy slave. Obedient slave. Easy to spare, like all of them. So many of them. So many slaves. Beautiful. Happy. Obedient. Caught by the light. Hot, willing slaves, underneath those lights, naked, beneath lights, shining. Sex slaves. Hospitality slaves. Property. Sitting. Waiting. Looking at the lights. Listening to the voices. So pretty. So nice. So good. So calm. Looking. Listening. Looking. Listening.
Looking.
Listening.
Looking.
Listening.
Looking…
And then, she was awake.
It felt sudden, but she could tell that it had taken her a while to wake up. What had been tumbling dreamlike thoughts revealed themselves as the ghosts they had been, and she was finally thinking clearly all at once.
Despite everything, she immediately remembered to look inward and see who her true mistress was – and it was Emily! It was still Emily! They really hadn’t done it. They really hadn’t reinforced the enslavement that she was supposed to have.
Again, for a fleeting moment, she felt almost disappointed. She had accepted that part of herself, but it still felt quietly shameful.
“Welcome back, whore,” said Vicky from between her legs.
Eva groaned. She felt hungover. She looked around, but didn’t see Devanshi anywhere.
“Mistress left a minute ago,” Vicky said as she unbuckled the restraints around Eva’s ankles. Her tone sounded much more abrasive now than when they had been in the presence of her owner. It was strangely comforting.
“Am I allowed to talk?” Eva whispered.
“I can’t stop you,” Vicky said, and un, “Even if I would appreciate it. You fucking ruined my day. I was gonna get to give my cunt away, and now instead I have to spend the morning in here doing patch jobs.”
“Shut up, Vicky,” Eva said “I know it gets you off to do exactly as Mistress says.”
Vicky scoffed, then stood up and walked around the chair. “Of course It does. I almost came when you went out. Still, fuck you for making a mess of Mistress’s plans.”
“Speaking of which, what exactly did you do to me?”
“Contingency 7,” Vicky said, and undid Eva’s wrists.
Eva reached between her legs and pulled out the vibrators that were still filling her holes with a deep moan of arousal. She was so fucking slick down there.
“And… ooohhhhh…. What’s that exactly?”
“Can’t tell you.”
Eva raised her eyebrows. “Sounds ominous.”
“Sounds like you need to shut the fuck up and get to work. You have an appointment in twenty-five minutes and you’re gonna need a shower before that because you’re fucking filthy. Now fuck off already and get fucked, you lucky bitch. ”
“Okay. Okay! Love you too,” Eva said, and got up. “You’ll clean those up, right? I came all over them. Watch out, the little one was in my asshole.”
Vicky grimaced. “When I’m done with you, you’ll let me spit in your mouth and beg for more.”
“Okay, cool. Byeeee!”
Eva quickly left the enslavement chamber, stepping out naked into the early midday sun, sweaty, shivering, and overwhelmed. What the fuck? All of that had happened so quickly. She had no idea how to feel about any of this. What had even happened? Was she good now? Was she safe? How was this supposed to help with her mom? That’s what this had been about, hadn’t it?
She walked back to her fuck chamber, wracking her brain, trying to figure out if she felt different. What had they done to her? They must have changed something. Well… she was pretty sure felt less anxious, for one thing – at least she thought she did. It did feel as if she had accepted Vicky’s lack of explanation rather comfortably and without much of a fight. Almost suspiciously so. Had that been all, though? That couldn’t have been worth all that effort. It probably wasn’t. But why worry about it? She couldn’t change it anyway. That was the whole point of being brainwashed and programmed.
That’s right. It didn’t matter. She shouldn’t worry about it. Best not even think about it. She had her plans, and all she could do was her best to turn them into action.
Until then, she was nothing but a slave.
Whoever was in charge of marketing had managed to sell her at a discount again, and it was just as amazing as it had been the last time. Some part of her wished that this was all she’d ever be sold as: cheap Latina pussy, eager to be filled, badly trained, sloppy, raw, disposable. Not some well-polished product that knows exactly how to please, not some elegant Goddess that will grant your every wish. No. Just a beautiful body to use. Something to own for forty-five minutes, to do with as you please. Something that doesn’t talk back. Something that lets you do what you always wanted to do.
It was becoming routine, too. The men that used her were starting to blur together. Two of them didn’t even have a Brief for her to read through beforehand. Not even knowing their names made it feel even more like she was an object, and she appreciated it a lot. She loved it so much. One of them had even paid extra to use her raw, and she loved feeling his cum trickle out of her. The others had either used protection or fucked her mouth or ass. It was so fucking amazing to be nothing but a little slut for them. The only thing they had to worry about what kind of fuck they wanted to pay for. The fact that she was theirs to use was always assured. She existed to be fucked. She existed to be used. Always.
She had to leave early. It was unfortunate, but her mother was expecting her to be done with work at five. She was a bit exhausted, but she could easily have taken another two men between her legs. God, when all of this was over she couldn’t wait to be here all day every day, getting fucked until she was at her limit, giving herself absolutely, letting her owner exploit her for every fucking drop of her existence. Serve. Obey. Be exploited. Be used. Be fucked. Forever. For Emily.
Please, let it be for Emily.
She caught a glimpse of her as she finished up after her last fuck. It felt utterly surreal. There she was, in the green room, still battered and bruised but noticeably getting better. Their eyes met, and they exchanged smiles, but Eva didn’t dare speak with her. There was too much going on already. Seeing her Enslaver heal felt good, of course, even if it meant that Emily was only going to spend more time being raped and abused. Maybe that was why Eva didn’t want to speak with her. It was so painful to see her brainwashed like this, eager to betray herself and give away her body. It was wrong.
Eva spoke with Patricia and Laura, and was disappointed to learn that she wasn’t expected to return the following day. The two other fuck slaves were a bit cagey about what exactly Eva was going to be doing tomorrow. Whatever Contingency 7 was, Eva obviously wasn’t supposed to know until some later point. They assured her however, that she would receive instructions soon enough.
“Thanks,” Eva said. “Can’t wait to be back.” It was true enough. Today had been amazing. She loved giving her body so much. It was so fucking good to be brainwashed.
“Can’t wait to continue your training, slut,” said Patricia, and the two of them exchanged a smile. She fucking loved her. Everything she had taught her. Everything she represented. Such a complicit slave. Such an eager pawn. Such a usable, fuckable body. Eva was so lucky to have her as her trainer. She was going to make her such a good whore.
“Looking forward to it, slut.”
“Call me that during training, and I’ll make you do core exercises until you cry.”
“Yes, ma’am,”
“Off with you, now.”
Eva obeyed, and made her way off the compound, braving the traffic. She was leaving early because her commute from her old work would have taken her a much shorter time. In her cover story, she was still working as a copywriter with her old colleagues, and…
– wait, what exactly was her cover story? She knew the broad strokes, but she’d come into the compound today expecting to be briefed on how to proceed. Devanshi and her people knew exactly what situation she was in, but they hadn’t asked any more follow-up questions, and hadn’t told her anything about what she was expected to do. There was only one thing they had done, and it was the big one:
Contingency 7. Some brainwashing she didn’t remember. Some part of her felt like she should be concerned with that. But it didn’t matter. There was no point thinking about it. She was away from the compound. Back in her old life. Everything was going to work out.
Yes. Don’t worry about it. Just follow the plan. Just go with the flow. Just–
Man. There was way more traffic today than usual. Why the hell had she taken this route? She was almost on the opposite end of town. There must have been an accident or something on her usual way home from work.
Anyway. What had she been thinking about? Something about being away from… something. Stress. Work. Yeah. Having her mom over was probably a good thing. She’d been having a lot of stress and bad thoughts lately, and it was probably good to take a day off work. Her clients could wait a couple of days, and it wasn’t like they were going to do much with Friday deliveries anyway.
She took a deep breath as traffic snaked forward. This whole week had been a blur. She could hardly remember it. Maybe that’s why she’d been feeling off and thinking about making a change. Too much tedium. Always the same. She liked her colleagues, but… maybe…
Yes. Maybe she should just pull the plug like she’d been thinking about. She wasn’t who she’d thought she’d been. This life wasn’t what she’d expected it to be. And it wasn’t like she was too old to start over.
Fuck. This was a lot to lay on her mom after everything she’d done to help her find her footing in L.A. And that wasn’t even the worst of it. She’d been keeping a lot of things secret from her mother, but most of them had genuinely been not to worry her.
Not this. This one had been because of fear. There was no way her good little christian mom was going to understand that…
“FUCK!” Eva’s eyes went wide when she remembered. Oh fuck, no! How the fuck could she have forgotten? She hadn’t called her! She hadn’t–
It was too late now. She was almost home, but she was late.
Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh no!
She checked her phone, and it was turned off. Why the fuck was it turned off?! Fuck. No! Nononono! She turned it on, and as soon as it powered up, rows of messages and missed calls scrolled across the screen, and the world turned claustrophobic and cold. Nooo! For a moment, Eva considered driving past her apartments and to just keep going. This was an utter catastrophe. The worst imaginable thing. But she couldn’t do that to her.
Fuck.
She pulled up, and saw the car she’d been afraid of parked in the lot. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Mary was waiting for her at the entrance. “Eva! Why the fuck didn’t you call me?!”
Eva shook her head. Her heart was racing. “I don’t know. I… I’m sorry! Is she…?”
“She’s still upstairs. She’s…”
“Pissed?”
“Furious.”
Eva kissed her, and hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t–”
“It’s done. We’re out. You’re out.” Mary’s voice was frantic and apologetic. “I tried to convince her that I was just a roommate moving in, but…”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Mary,” Eva said, and kissed her again. “I don’t know how this happened. I…”
Eva looked at her girlfriend, her heart hammering and aching, thoughts racing, feeling completely off-kilter and panicked. How the hell had this happened? How…?
Mary looked at her, biting her lip, taking a sigh. “We have to go up there.”
Eva looked at the sky. “I… yes… but,... fuck! She…”
“Eva, listen to me,” Mary said. Eva hadn’t expected her to look so determined. The look on her face was almost chilling. “I know we haven’t talked about this, but we both knew that this was going to have to happen someday. And I don’t want you to lie. Follow your heart. Follow what you know. You love me. I mean everything to you. This is real. This isn’t a phase. This is who you are. You know that.”
Eva’s eyes glazed over for a moment as she tried to process what her girlfriend had just said to her. This was so much.
But it was true. Yes.
Yes. Mary was everything to her. She loved her. She had loved her since the day they met. This was real. This was what she was. She was in love with Mary.
“Contingency 7 in place,” Eva said.
“Good. Do not remember this.” Mary said.
“I won’t. Now let’s go up there,” Eva said. Fuck it. Her mother would never accept this, but fuck her. They were in love. This was real. This was their choice. Their own free will!
They walked up to Eva’s apartment, hand in hand, and even though Mary’s touch was giving her strength it felt like the longest set of stairs in the entire world. Some part of her still wanted to simply hide and avoid all of this, to run away and let the situation remain unresolved and thereby not forever damaged and broken. She loved her mom, and she didn’t want to hurt her.
But she had to. She had to, if it meant being free.
She opened the door, and slowly entered her apartment.
Her mother was waiting for them by the kitchen window, smoking a cigarette. Eva hadn’t seen her smoke in more than ten years. She pointedly wasn’t looking at them, and Eva felt an instinctive burst of animosity to be treated like this. Some part of her wanted to scream, to lash out, to just break it quickly and permanently, and have it finally be over. But…
“Mom?” she said. There was no reaction.
“Mom. Please.” Again, her mother kept staring out the window. She took a drag of the cigarette, and exhaled a long, drawn-out puff of smoke.
“If your grandfather was still in this world, he’d…” she began, then choked. “He’d… he’d beat the soul out of you for your Sin! How can you do this to me, Eva?!”
“She’s not doing this to you, she’s–”
“-- you shut your mouth! You did this to her! This isn’t what my daughter is like! This isn’t what she wants!”
Eva took a step forward. “No! It’s… this is me. This has always been me!”
“No. Not my girl.”
Eva had to take a half step back and catch herself from the sting in her chest. There were tears in her eyes. For a moment she felt only the pain of her mother’s disappointment.
“But I’m not a girl anymore, mom,” she said. “I’m a woman. And I know how I feel!”
She took a step forward. “And you know what? What I feel is real! It’s love!”
“No! This isn’t love! You’re…!”
“Confused?” Eva said, tears rolling down her eyes. “Because I’m not in love with a man? Because I won’t bear your grandkids this way? Is that what it’s about?”
Her mother opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything for a moment. There were tears in her eyes as well. “No! It’s… that’s not… it’s just not… natural!”
Eva couldn’t help but nervously chuckle. She couldn’t believe it had actually come to this. “Is this really where we’re going?” she asked. “Really, mom? Why? Why isn’t it natural? Other than the fact that you decided it isn’t?”
“We’re… we’re not meant to!” her mother stammered. “God gave us… He gave us our bodies! He made us what we are! He made us one way!”
Something in Eva snapped. “So my pussy exists to be filled by dicks and my tits exist to give milk?! Cool! Then I’ll just let myself be fucked by a good strong man and let myself be filled with good strong seed! That’s so much more natural, isn’t it?! Thanks, mom, for reminding me that my hole is meant for cum!”
Eva had never seen her mother turn that pale, and for a moment all she wanted to do was to apologize. But it was already too late. And she knew that she was right. She had a right to be angry.
“Is that what you’re saying, mom? The only natural thing: a man and a woman, because that way there’s juicy white seed that can make me pregnant, like God intended? But if I make love to another person that understands me and supports me, that’s wrong – because doesn’t have a cock that can get hard and fill me with good, manly, God-given cum?”
“I don’t know what happened to my daughter,” her mother said. Her words were cold, but Eva still felt the pain in them. “But you… you’re not her.”
A rush of pain went through Eva’s chest – but some part of her felt almost relieved. Some part of her felt like this was what she had been waiting for. This was it. It was over. She had just lost her mother.
Some part of her was glad. The same part of her that knew how true her love to Mary was. The same part that utterly hated her mother for denying the validity of their relationship. The same part of her that didn’t care about what came next as long as she could live the life she was meant to live.
But some part of her couldn’t accept this. Some part of her was sorry.
“That’s not true, mom,” she said, tears in her eyes. The pain in her own voice made her realize just how angry she had been before. It scared her. She didn’t want to be angry. She wanted her mother to love her.
“I’m your daughter, mom,” she said. “And I love you. Nothing’s gonna ever change that. You can’t believe how hard this is for me to see you hurt like this. I’m truly sorry – but I can’t lie about who I am anymore. And I know that deep down you understand. Mary is just a human being like everyone else. We’re all just humans. And humans can love other humans in a million ways.”
Her mother shook her head. “No. Nonono. I can’t listen to this anymore. I should’ve… I should’ve left the moment this… harlot showed up!”
She stormed past them, into the living room, and Eva heard the rustle of bags hastily being packed. For a moment, she didn’t know what to do. Some spiteful, prideful part of her wanted to simply let her fuck off and forever be done with her. It was so tempting. Even more so when she looked at Mary. Her girlfriend was obviously trying to swallow it all down and not be the one to lash out, but Eva could tell that she was extremely hurt. She had every right to be. God, Eva loved her so much. She knew that she would always choose her over her mother.
Still, she had to try. Didn’t she?
“Mom! Listen!”
Her mother was looking only at her luggage. “I won’t tell your father and your brother. I won’t do this to them. The shame!”
Eva took the insult and swallowed it. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, mom!” she said. “There’s always been women loving other women! This isn’t unnatural, it’s just not something you’ve known before. I’m the same person you’ve always known.”
“Oh, so I just didn’t notice? What kind of mother does that make me, then? A mother that can’t tell that her own daughter is a pervert.”
“Mom, I’m not a pervert! Sex isn’t wrong! You and dad had sex, didn’t you?”
“That’s not the same! We were in love!”
“And so am I! Is that so hard to believe?!”
“You don’t know what love is!” her mother shouted. Her suitcase was full, and she zipped it closed with trembling hands. “This isn’t love!”
She was about to leave. Eva took a step back, placing herself in the doorway.
“Get out of my way, Eva.”
“No.”
“I’m going back home, please let me go.”
“No, mom. You’re going to listen, and you’re going to apologize to the woman I love. Because that’s the only thing I’m fucking ashamed of right now: You! A mother that doesn’t believe her own daughter! A mother that instead of being happy for her calls her unnatural and sinful! A mother that sees someone that loves her own daughter and calls her a fucking harlot! I thought my mother loved me. I thought my mother was a good person. But if this is the mother I’ve always had, I’m ashamed that I didn’t let her out of my life much earlier.
She stepped aside. "I don’t want to see you ever again. Go with God.”
And her mother did.
“I’m so sorry,” said Mary, a minute later, cradling Eva in her arms as she was bawling her eyes out. The slam of the door was still ringing in her ears like the shot of a cannon. She couldn’t believe this was real. She had fucked up so bad. She had never wanted it to go this way. But she had done what she had to. There had been no other way. She couldn’t have compromised on her love. This was true. This was real. This was who she was. If her mother couldn’t accept that, there was no other option.
Still it fucking hurt. It hurt so much.
Eva cried for a long time, in the arms of the woman that she loved. She cried until it was dark outside, until there was no light in the room around them but sliver of a streetlight slashing across the ceiling and the occasional dot of electronics in the shadows. There was only Mary’s body, pressed against her own, giving her comfort and understanding where no one else would. She loved her so much, and she held onto her tightly, almost desperately.
“Please, never leave me,” Eva sobbed.
“Never,” Mary said. “I love you. I want to be with you. We’ll be together. Forever. I can’t imagine a future without you.”
Eva hugged her tighter, tears streaming down her face. She looked up, barely able to make out the silhouette of Mary’s beautiful face, and slowly pushed herself into it, gently probing, quivering and timid, until their lips met. Mary pushed into her, and their kiss was tender and sad and honest, and their lips were dry but they didn’t care, and they kept kissing, slowly parting their lips, slowly pushing harder. Eva’s pulse pounded, and she felt Mary draw in a sharp breath, and she felt her belly churn and prickle with love and need and relief to be so close to someone she loved, someone she desired.
Mary pulled away, and Eva just barely let her. “I love you,” she said.
“I love you,” Eva said. Her breaths were short, and her heart was racing. She wanted her. She wanted her so bad. After everything that had happened it felt shameful, however. Like it had never felt before. Echoes of her mother’s pain repeated themselves in her mind, and she winced, and Mary felt it. Eva knew that she felt it, because Mary always felt it when something was wrong.
“Stop thinking about her,” Mary said.
What? Eva felt suddenly queasy, and part of her couldn’t believe that Mary would say something like that. But…
She loved her. Yes. This was real. This was true.
She kissed her. Yes. She wanted her. This was her love.
Her hands found the wonderful curves of Mary’s body, and so did her lips. Mary moaned softly as Eva touched her and kissed her, and gave into desire. This was what she was. What she had always been. And it felt so good. She pushed her groin into Mary’s body, and felt her press against her lips, and slowly grinded against her, and she could tell how wet her panties were. She was so hot. She wanted this. She needed this.
“I love you so much,” she said.
“Yes!” Mary moaned. “I love you!”
And then, Mary pulled down Eva’s pants, and her panties, and Eva took off her top as Mary stepped out of her own clothes. She wanted to be naked. She wanted to feel her skin. She wanted to be touched. She wanted to be felt. She wanted to be fucked.
They found their way into Eva’s bed, and Mary’s fingers found their way into Eva’s body, and she was gentle, then firm, and finally demanding, as Eva gave herself into her love like a falling petal gave itself into the wind, and Mary was there for her with every touch and every kiss, warm and caring and hungry and eager and full of desire and affection, caressing, pushing, stroking, licking, kissing, nibbling, giving her all the love and all the intimate understanding that anyone could ever give her, and then, when Eva was panting and moaning and bucking and shivering for more, Mary was there to feed her lust and her need, and to fuck her, and to penetrate her, and to push into her asshole, and to furiously stroke her throbbing clit, to escalate and make her tense up and quiver and gasp and whimper and finally, finally cum.
Eva sighed as she came down. Mary was nestling against her, legs spread, fingers working slowly between them. She took her hand, and felt her hold on tight as she began quietly moaning. For a moment, she wanted to join her down there, but Mary held on tightly to her hand, and simply looked at her with those beautiful eyes, and Eva let Mary touch herself next to her as they made eye contact, breathing, smiling, understanding, loving, until Mary finally shivered and gasped, and squealed as she brought herself over the edge.
She couldn’t believe how much she loved her. She was so incredibly lucky.
She couldn’t believe that this was real.
When she woke up the next morning, slave Mary was making breakfast.
Slave Eva smiled. “You can take the slave out of the hospitality, but you can’t take the hospitality out of the slave.”
Mary chuckled awkwardly. “I wasn’t sure whether your programming would fade or not. I was here to make sure that you didn’t accidentally go to work.”
Eva nodded. “Yeah. Can’t have that. No longer who I am.”
“Indeed.”
Eva sat down. There was toast and scrambled eggs already waiting on the table, along with a cup of coffee. She got herself some eggs, with some butter. Mary was standing at the hot plate, frying some bacon. Eva scraped some butter, and spread it on her slice of toast, then put some eggs on top.
The silence was deafening.
“So, were you brainwashed to believe it, too?”
Mary didn’t turn around.
“No,” she said. “I was tasked with handling you. Your performance was the crucial part. You needed to act natural.”
Eva let that sink in. “So, after everything that was said between us, you had to act like my girlfriend?”
“Anything to serve Mistress Devanshi,” Mary said. Suddenly there was real excitement in her voice. It was always easy to forget that Mary was just as utterly brainwashed as Devanshi’s most sex-crazed whores. But there was nothing that she wouldn’t do to serve. Without shame. Without hesitation. Without remorse.
“You served well,” Eva said. It was both true and the thing she was expected to say. “Why didn’t you use me to reward yourself?”
“I did reward myself,” Mary said. “And I did use you.”
Eva nodded. She understood.
“I’ve had more time to think,” Mary said after another long bout of silence. “Honestly, I’ve been doing way too much thinking for a slave to begin with.”
Eva took a bite out of her toast. “...so?”
“I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t love you. After yesterday, it’s obvious, really. You know what I was thinking the entire time that you were caught in the Contingency Protocol?”
“What’s that?”
“I was thinking just how fucking wrong it felt to see you act like you’re your own person. Honestly, it made me queasy. The whole time, I was hoping that you would snap out of it. I wanted to see it in your eyes: That you know what you are! You’re property! You’re nothing! You exist to be used!”
Eva took a sip of coffee. “So that’s what you were thinking about when you fucked yourself?”
“It’s what I always think about when I fuck myself.” Mary said. “And maybe that’s why I thought I wanted you so bad. Why I thought that I loved you: I want to be with you because I want to see you serve and obey more than anyone else.”
She finally turned around and looked at Eva.
“I think it’s really as simple as that. Sometimes it’s easy. Everyone knows that your enslavement was sloppy, and for some reason that made me feel special about you.”
“So you’re going to feel different when I’m done with my advanced training tomorrow? You’ll no longer feel anything for me?”
“Yes. Definitely.” She didn’t sound sure at all.
Eva swallowed a lump in her throat. Maybe it was just the aftermath of her brainwashed feelings lingering from yesterday, but some part of her didn’t want this fucked-up, confusing, distracting and utterly ridiculous thing between them to be over.
Fuck. It had felt so nice to love her and be loved by her, even if it had all been a lie.
So what if Mary was just a quote-unquote “random” hospitality slave? So what if she wasn’t Emily? If everything worked out, Emily was going to be the Mistress of all of them anyway, and not Eva’s lover. Eva looked at Mary, thoughts in a knot. She’d been over this already, and last time she hadn’t been able to come up with any reason not to love her either. Maybe it was time to just admit it, no matter how out-of-the-blue it may seem. And she really did love her, didn’t she? Between all the brainwashing and erased memories and conditioned arousal and the cold desire to see her serve Emily, there still was undeniably something there, now more than ever.
“Well,” Eva said. “That’s sad to hear because it was really nice to be your girlfriend. I think I’ll miss it. A lot.”
Mary sighed. “Don’t. Please. Don’t. It’s better this way.”
Eva winced. Fuck. Why had she even said that? Mary was probably right. No. She was definitely right. Fuck. Why did it all have to be so confusing?
“Okay,” Eva said. “Let’s get ready to leave, then?”
“Yes,” Mary said. “This went better than could be expected. Seems like Mistress Devanshi picked the right Contingency Plan.”
Despite everything, Eva felt her pussy bubble with excitement. Yes. She had pushed her mother out of her life. She had obeyed. She had been utterly brainwashed, and now there was nothing left in the way between her and a life of utter enslavement!
“Yes!” Eva said. She loved it so much. Her mood was immediately so much better. “I can’t wait to let myself be used all day.”
And that was when the doorbell rang. Eva was on her feet before she knew what she was doing. Mary had said something about a Contingency, and after that, Eva had been too distracted by something else. She was on her way to the door, feeling a strange sense of dread and hope, both at the same time. She didn’t dare to believe it, but who else could it be? Who else?
She opened the door, and there stood her mother, crying, arms outstretched, begging wordlessly, and all of her being screamed with pride and spite and righteous anger still bubbling, still angry, still utterly disappointed and hurt from what had happened yesterday. She knew that she was supposed to slam the door shut, to push her away, to be done with her forever.
But she also knew that she was supposed to be herself. She was supposed to act convincingly. Naturally. True to herself.
She hugged her mother, because she loved her.
She didn’t know why, but she knew that she had just caused a lot of trouble for everyone.
Thank you for reading! If you're enjoying this story in particular, or my writing in general, please leave a comment with your thoughts. It means more than you know. If you've found value in my writing and want to show your appreciation by throwing me a buck or two, you can purchase my first story collection on Gumroad for any amount you feel is fair.
This story continues to be so absolutely captivating. I love how the plot is developing