You’d been holding me right on the edge of trance, unable to wake completely, but unable to fully drop, for… forever, it seemed. The longer you held me there, the more desperately needy I became; at first, it was just my breath catching in my throat. Then came the whimpering and the squirming. 

And still, you held me there.

I imagined what my eyes must look like. They were so heavy. I wanted to just close them and sink into mindless bliss so, so badly. Right on the cusp of going completely glassy and empty, but still somehow brimming with need. I needed to sink, to fall, to go deep.

And still, you held me there.

My breathing became heavy as my attention was utterly fixated on you. I stopped trying to hold back my sounds, giving most of myself over to the need. Only holding back one thing. 

And still, you held me there. 

I wanted, needed, so badly to drop. The siren of trance beckoned me toward its ethereal embrace. And yet, I couldn’t quite bring myself to be willing to leave this state so soon. I wanted to bask in this feeling, my eyes, my mind, my being all locked on one thing, one moment, one purpose. Locked on you. 

And still, you held me there. 

Of course, being allowed to finally, achingly drop into trance would be its own connection. Sinking into oblivion with your words flowing into my mind, becoming my reality was its own intoxicating pleasure. That’s why I craved it so. But I wasn’t ready to leave this feeling of the world falling away in a different fashion behind just yet. 

And still, you held me there. 

That’s when it happened. When that last part of me, the part that I’d been just barely able to hold back, slipped out. 

“P-please…”

In my focused state, I’d have expected your mocking laugh to make me jump, but it started so smoothly and quietly as you continued to hold me on the edge of trance that it only served to draw me in further. 

“Please what? Please hold you here longer or please let you go into trance?”

I whimpered. Again. I didn’t know what I was begging for. 

“Please… d-“

Which did I want?

Something, somewhere deep inside my being managed to register the humiliation of what I was about to ask for, and I felt the heat of it flood into my face. 

“D-deny… more… please…”

Again, that mocking, almost but not quite cruel laughter. 

Your hand still raised, I was helpless to do anything but stare at it, my peripheral vision just barely detecting the grin spreading across your face. You were enjoying dragging this out. My body stopped the squirming I hadn’t even noticed it was doing as you fixed your triumphant eyes onto my pleading ones. 

“Begging to be denied, are we?”

I could only nod my head, not taking my eyes off of your hand. 

“Too bad.”

You snapped your fingers. 

“Drop.”