"Are you sure about this?"

 

"Yes, I'm like 90% sure it'll work."

 

"No, I mean are you sure we should be doing this?"

 

"Well, I don't want him to be our boss, do you? You'd have to deal with him more than I would."

 

Interviews for the new manager were underway, and I was hiding out in my friend and coworker's office between interviews. As receptionist, I had to be there to greet and say goodbye to each candidate, but in between I could slip away from the desk.

 

Sarah, one of the associates I was friends with, and I had realized that Roger, the most arrogant, sexist man either of us had ever met, was interviewing next for the management position and dreaded what would happen if he got it.

 

We'd spent the past few days assembling ingredients for a potion that she assured me would help us, and we were just putting the final touches on it.

 

"Okay, so... a few drops of witch hazel... stir 3 times counterclockwise... aaaand.... it should be done!"

 

We watched as the mixture turned clear, as if by magic. Well, I guess it was magic.

 

"So," Sarah instructed me, "when he comes in, do your usual offering him a beverage shtick. This can be a bit bitter, so try to push him to have a coffee, but it shouldn't be too noticeable in water anyway. A teaspoon or so should do it."

 

"You've had it before?"

 

"Yeah, it actually feels really nice, kinda warm and floaty, but it makes your thoughts slow like molasses."

 

"And he'll be okay to like, drive home and stuff? I don't want to hurt him..."

 

She assured me that by the time he finds his way to his car, the effects will have worn off.

 

"Oh shit. Gotta get back to the desk." I grabbed the small vial of potion we'd concocted and slipped it into my pocket.

 

I got back to my desk just a few moments before Roger came in the door, talking to someone on his cell phone. He didn't even bother ending the call before snapping his fingers at me, thrusting an empty Starbucks cup at me, and mouthing the word "decaf, black, two sugars" at me. I smiled at him and went to the small kitchenette just off reception to prepare his coffee. I slipped the potion in, added the sugar, and gave the coffee a stir. It smelled just like coffee. Perfect.

 

I handed Roger the coffee, and, still on the phone, he said "Thanks, uh... sweetie."

 

I walked back to my desk, rolling my eyes as my back was turned to him. We were hired at the same time five years ago and he still hadn't bothered to learn my name.

 

I studied him as subtly as I could, watching as he took a few sips of his coffee. He said goodbye to whoever he was on the phone with, and pulled out some notes he had made for the interview. After a few more sips of coffee, his eyes seemed to glaze over a bit.

 

The partners at the firm came out, said goodbye to the candidate before, and asked Roger to wait just a few minutes for them to get reset. He nodded, and as they were almost gone, said a small "Okay..."

 

Sarah came out with some papers and feigned showing them to me, wanting to be there when Roger went in. When one of the partners came out a few minutes later, they called Roger in, and he took a solid 30 seconds to raise his head up, acknowledge them, and start to get up.

 

As we walked slowly into the interview room, Sarah and I gave each other a small high-five.