“Wait, no! Stop! How did you even get up there???”

 

I frantically grabbed for the cat, but I was too late. The ceramic elephant that had been gathering dust for the past six months crashed to the floor and shattered into goodness knows how many pieces. 

 

I sighed, more irritated at having to clean up the mess than at losing the elephant figurine my ex had forgotten when he moved out. It was a nice enough figurine, nice enough to live up on a shelf anyway, and it didn’t particularly remind me of him. 

 

And now it was nothing but a mess all over my floor. 

 

As I swept up the pieces and ceramic dust, all the while chasing the damn cat away from the small shards- I’d go pick the dust bunnies he’d accumulated from the shelf out of his fur when I was finished with this mess- I noticed a small slip of paper mixed in with the pile of broken pieces. I fished the paper out, unsure of whether it came from inside the figurine as the amount of ceramic dust would suggest or if it just got caught up in the mess and came from somewhere else. 

 

I looked at the paper and read the words “Elephants never forget.”

 

My eyes immediately went blank and dull. Automatically, I retrieved my phone from my pocket, typing out a message to my ex and hitting send. 

 

“Elephants never forget, but property never escapes.”

 

Still in a trance, I unlocked the front door, undressed, and knelt peacefully in the entryway. I didn’t even notice the notification pop up on my phone a few minutes later.

 

“Ah, hello there, property. I wondered when you’d find that trigger and activate your programming. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”