"He wants to take me to a sex club now," I say, stroking my fingers up and down the length of Kam's tail. She draped it over me after we were both spent.

I eye the violet stain. Her Decay's faded, and my heart soared when I saw the bulge working its way up again.

And it sunk when she pulled away.

"We don't know what it'll do to you," Kam said when she saw me pout. It's all very reasonable, but I don't want to be reasonable. I don't ever want to get to be reasonable about Kam.

Or about any of this. I spent a decade vacillating between repressing this and craving it.

And now I have her.

Her tail curls tighter around me after I mention Rory. It's possessive, and makes me feel owned.

Just like that, I'm ready for hours more. I don't know exactly when I became this willing, insatiable thing that melts at her very touch.

Maybe it was the first time she and I met.

She looks the same now as she did back then: same black pants and white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, revealing just a hint of scales; same short, wavy brown hair with flecks of neon gold; and that same damn smile — arrogant, commanding, and with just the right amount of menace.

Not everything is the same, though. I know the scales I saw only hints of a decade ago coat her upper arms and the majority of her torso. Her tail still bears the scar from where Magisorcerer Amal slashed it a decade ago.

The biggest change is that I don't just crave her.

I feel safe with her.

I don't need to be anything other than who I am. Existing is enough. It's just enough to be with her and breathe without even that being examined by social media.

"What Did Magisorcerer Tiana Mean By That Contented Sigh?"

It's all too much, except when I'm here with her.

Maybe it's wrong. I don't know if I'm using her. I worry more about that every time we meet: like the comfort I feel just being around her is a sign that I'm doing something awful.

I don't know how I'd explain this to anyone. I'm becoming cheap and shameless and it feels amazing.

And I think...

I think a thought that I shouldn't be thinking about the woman I've known for maybe a month.

It's too dangerous, even for all the calm she exudes when I'm around her.

We've not talked about what this is. We haven't even talked, really, which is why it surprises me when I bring up Rory.

"Yeah?" Kam says, her tone somewhere between exhausted and dismissive.

It stings. I want to share my life with her, even the parts that are complicated. That includes talking about Rory, even if that's not exactly fair.

But why can't I?

This is probably just a hookup to her.

"I, maybe, said some things last night to him... things that I wanted to say to you, instead?"

That perks her interest, and Kam pulls me in closer with her tail — rolling me onto my side so I have to face her.

I revel in how powerless I feel with her coiled around me, heat blazing again.

"I s-said..." I stammer out, not nervous but just too excited to form the words. "I wanted you to turn me into your slutty plaything. To take me. To hurt me."

The tip of her tail grazes my cheek. "You're really a freak, huh?" Kam says. It'd wound if I couldn't hear the admiration in her voice.

"Yeah." I start sobbing and laughing before I even realize it.

Kam pulls me in close. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"No," I say, muffled against her well-muscled chest. I pull back, still crying. "It's not... it's not bad. You didn't do anything bad. I'm just... nobody's seen me like you have."

Something crosses over Kam's face. Hesitance, like she's not sure what to do, before it dissolves into comforting, genuine warmth. "I see you," she repeats back to me.

"S-so it's okay? That I want this?" I gesture between us. I don't know if I'm talking about sex, or about whether we can be more.

Kam smiles at me, and any fear I might have slips away at the radiance of that grin. It should be fearsome, she's grinning so wildly that the low light of the room's glinting off her fangs, but instead it just comes off as honest. Trustworthy.

Real.

"Yeah. It's okay to want this."

I kiss her.

Kam flinches when I do. She draws back, tail uncoiling from me. I can outright teleport, and the speed with which she's scrambling out of her own bed has me stunned.

I can't move. I can only watch as Kam looks more scared than I've ever seen anyone in my entire life. "What... what was that?"